"I'm bored," Buffy said with a bright smile.

Xander and Willow looked up from their magazines they were reading and exchanged glances.

"Most people aren't all that happy about being bored," Xander pointed out.

"Most people don't have lives filled with demons and monsters," Buffy replied with a grin. "I can't tell you how long it's been since I've been bored. It's wonderful suckage!"

"Oh, that kinda makes sense," Willow agreed.

"Bored enough to organize the back room?" Xander asked.

"Pfft!" Buffy waved it off. "I'm not that bored, I just feel like doing something physical that doesn't involve nudity."

"How about we chop up some firewood?" Xander suggested.

Buffy perked up. "That does sound like fun. I'm surprised we haven't run out of firewood already."

"We really should have," Willow agreed.

"The whole eternal winter thing… has kind of put the world on pause," Xander explained.

"That explains nothing," Buffy pointed out.

"If it was actually winter for years most of the forest would have been cut down for firewood and the talking animals would have had to eat each other to survive," Xander said. "It's a conceptual winter that keeps things much the same, so food lasts longer, you never quite run out of firewood, etc…"

"Our food didn't seem to last that long," Willow said with a frown.

"Our food isn't from here," Xander replied, "but I'm pretty sure we'd find we never quite run out if we ate the stuff in the backroom."

"I'd wondered about that," Willow said, "the disruption of the seasons should have had a lot more negative effects, but it was a kid's book so I ignored it."

"Magic smoothes over a lot of cracks," Xander said, "here at least."

"Do you have an axe or a saw?" Buffy asked as she put on a second pair of socks.

"Both," Xander replied, following Buffy's example as it was really cold outside and extra layers would be good.

"Which do you prefer for cutting firewood?" Buffy asked.

"Axe, because it also makes a good weapon to threaten people with," Xander said. "Threatening people with saws is a lot less effective."

"I'm going too," Willow decided, getting up and hunting for some clothes.

The three were quickly bundled up enough to brave being out in the cold for a little while and armed with axes and mace.

"Should have brought ski-masks," Buffy said, her breath clouding the air while Xander closed the door behind them and locked it.

"The sky is all gray, but it's beautiful out here," Willow said.

"Beautiful but cold," Xander agreed. "Follow me, I know where there are some fallen limbs we can chop up."

"Oh my, there are three of you," a beaver noted, causing the teens to turn and stare at the four foot tall anthropomorphic beaver.

"We aren't selling what you're buying," Xander said firmly, knowing what the anthropomorphic beaver was going to say, "so kindly fuck off."

"Kindly?" Buffy asked, amused.

"He is motivated at least in part by wanting to protect us," Xander replied, "but at the same time he doesn't seem to take no for an answer."

"It's dangerous out here!" the beaver exclaimed.

"Our hometown is more dangerous than here as long as we don't attract the Queen's personal attention, which we will get if we associate with the locals," Xander said, "so kindly fuck off before I treat you like I do the wolves."

The Beaver squeaked and fled.

"That was a bit harsh," Buffy said.

"You haven't been woken up from a sound sleep by him trying to 'save' you, night after night," Xander replied.

"You've got a point there," Buffy agreed as they started walking again.

"The whole Disney talking animals thing is kinda wigsome," Willow said.

"I know it's not the beaver I like seeing," Xander said cheerfully.

"Xander!" the two girls exclaimed and smacked him in the shoulder.

"I could have been talking about his wife," Xander defended himself.

"Well?" Buffy asked.

"Well what?" Xander asked, trying not to grin.

"What beaver were you referring to mister?" Willow demanded.

"The ones you were thinking of," Xander admitted. "Besides, can you imagine trying to shave him?" he quickly added.

The girls froze in place for a few seconds before quickly repressing the image that came to mind and rushing after him.

"I did not need that picture in my mind," Buffy said.

"Should we?" Willow asked timidly.

"Shave him?" Xander replied. "I suppose I could hold him down while you do it, but I don't see why you'd want to." He made a face as he pictured a bald Mr. Beaver.

"No!" Willow exclaimed. "I mean… should we shave?"

Xander stopped and turned to Willow. "I love you, not your hair or lack of," he assured her. "If you want to shave it, go ahead, but I hear it itches a bit growing back. As long as I don't need a compass and a map to get through it, I'm happy."

"What? Oh," Buffy said. "Took me a second there, I keep picturing… Nevermind. I've had to do some serious trimming for certain bathing suits or ice skating outfits and gotten carried away a time or two and yeah it really does itch. Anyway I like short hair, it's easy to take care of and doesn't get in the way, that's all I'm saying."

"Don't like the 70's afro?" Xander asked with a grin.

"Haven't seen any, but I've heard about them," Buffy said. "Like having a midget in leg lock was the best description. Where'd you hear about them?"

"I've seen old porn," Xander said with a shrug. "The amount of hair in those movies on the girls and the guys is mindboggling."

"So… do I need to trim?" Willow asked, deciding not to ask about the porn.

"You are very neat and tidy," Xander assured her. "When we get back I'll show you how much I like your topiary."

"Topiary?" Buffy asked.

"It's a reference to how gardeners shape the bushes," Willow explained with a grin.

"Oh," Buffy said with a nod, "sex puns and landscaping. Can't believe I didn't pick that one up."

"It's an acquired taste," Willow offered.

"If you don't like it, acquire some taste?" Buffy asked with a grin.

"Exactamundo!" Xander said. "And we're here," he announced, gesturing to a fallen tree half buried in snow. "Now we just have to chop a few armfuls and we'll be good for a while."

"How long should I cut them into?" Buffy asked, eager to get chopping.

"Two foot logs would be perfect," Xander said as he carefully cut a branch from the dead tree.

"Yes, sir," Buffy said cheerfully and started chopping through the trunk.

"What are you doing?" Willow asked Xander as he cut off another limb and trimmed it so it was the same size as the first one.

"While we could carry armfuls of wood, we could also stack them on a pair of limbs and simply drag them," Xander explained.

"This is fun," Buffy said as she chopped through the wood with the ease of a chef chopping carrots.

"Is it easier to carry wood this way?" Willow asked.

"Makes it easy enough that you could handle it," Xander said as he made a web between the two branches with nylon cord.

"I'm done," Buffy announced.

"Already?" Xander asked and looked over. "Damn, that was quick."

"It was fun," Buffy said, "Gets the blood flowing without… blood flowing."

"Oh," Willow said as she realized something, "How long has it been since you killed something?"

"A few days, why?" Buffy asked before her eyes widened. "I haven't gone this long without killing something… in forever! Am I addicted to killing?!"

"Buffy," Xander said trying to calm her down, "didn't you feel better after getting a workout, chopping wood?"

"Yeah," she agreed slowly.

"Do you feel the need to go hunting right now?" he asked.

"Well… no," she said thoughtfully. "I mean, I wouldn't mind, but I don't need to."

"Then no, you aren't addicted to killing, you just need a good workout every couple of days to burn off some energy," Xander said.

"That makes sense," Buffy agreed with a nod. "Still… I really wouldn't mind finding some fledges… and seeing how this axe handles, you know?"

"Wanna go back to Sunnydale and hunt some poor defenseless vampires?" Xander asked Willow.

"I could hunt," Willow agreed, trying to match Buffy's tone. "It's more fun relaxing when you have something to relax from."

"Okay, it's settled," Xander said, "we'll restock the wood and after a nap we'll head back, kill some stuff, party, and then relax some more."

"I like that plan," Buffy said, joining Xander in piling logs on their makeshift sled quickly filling it before he tied them in place.

"Willow, grab the ends and pull," Xander said, placing the ends of the branches on her shoulders.

"I'm the weakest of us, why am I pulling it?" Willow asked.

"Because it's really easy," Xander replied, "it pretty much glides over the snow."

Willow leaned forward and almost stumbled as it slid across the ground before regaining her footing and smoothly pulling the load of wood. "Wow, this is easy."

"Told you," Xander said as the three headed back to the cottage.

"It makes me feel strong," Willow said, "Look at me move all this wood."

"Why are you making her pull it?" Buffy asked.

"I wanted to show how easy it was," Xander said. "Plus, it'll tire her out some so we can pin her down and eat her!"

Willow turned bright red as Buffy laughed.

"I bet she tastes like cinnamon," Buffy said.

"I'm betting cherries," Xander argued before saying, "Bogey on your right."

Something large and heavy leapt out of the bushes and Buffy smoothly turned and kicked it, sending it flying.

"Keep moving," Xander told Willow unconcerned.

"Wolf?" Buffy asked. "I didn't get a good look at it."

"Probably," Xander replied. "Now, what are you going to bet?"

"Bet?" Buffy asked distractedly as she scanned the surrounding forest.

"On what Willow tastes like," Xander reminded her.

"Shouldn't we be worrying about being attacked?" Buffy asked.

"No, they aren't that strong," Xander said, "fledges are tougher. So what are you betting?"

"Oh," Buffy said relaxing, "well… how about I pay for your Halloween costume if I win?"

"Winner gets to pick?" Xander asked.

"Yes," Buffy agreed. "whoever wins gets to pick the costume the other is paying for."

"That works," Xander agreed.

"I don't think I taste like either of those," Willow spoke up as they reached the cottage and she stepped forward, letting the sled fall to the ground.

"Whoever is closest wins," Buffy said.

"Can I make a bet?" she asked as Xander unlocked the door and collected an armful of wood.

"Pretty sure you know what you taste like, so no," Buffy said.

"I was going to bet on what you tasted like," Willow said as they entered the cottage and barred the door.

"Marshmallows or mango," Xander said, as he put wood on the fire.

"Those are nothing alike," Willow complained.

"She's going to taste like Buffy," Xander said with a shrug, "So it's either tangy or sweet."

"Huh, I hadn't thought about that," Willow admitted.

"What does Xander taste like?" Buffy asked curiously.

"Diabetes," Willow replied.

"What?" Xander asked, confused.

"You have a diet of almost pure sugar when I don't badger you into eating something healthy," Willow complained. "Heck even I know guys are supposed to taste salty but you don't."

"I bet she's exaggerating," Xander said with a grin.

"I'm really not," Willow replied.

"Well, only one way to find out," Buffy said with a smirk.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Welcome to Ethan's," the proprietor said with a smarmy grin as the three teens entered his shop. "Do you know what you want?"

"He's a villain," Xander said, pointing at Ethan.

"I beg your pardon?" Ethan asked, confused.

"The best villains all have classy British accents," Xander replied.

"First time I've been called classy," Ethan said, amused.

"Giles has a British accent and he's not classy… I mean a villain," Buffy quickly corrected herself.

Xander snickered. "I don't suppose you know Giles?"

"Xander," Willow said with a sigh, "not all British people know each other."

"Would that be Rupert Giles?" Ethan asked curiously.

The two girls looked at Xander suspiciously.

"I didn't set this up," he defended himself, "this is my first time here."

Ethan laughed. "Rupert and I were in a band together when we were teens," he said. "Ethan Rayne," he introduced himself.

"Good name for a rock star, better name for a bond villain," Xander pointed out.

"You got me," Ethan said with a smirk, "I'm a powerful sorcerer who plans to turn everyone into their costumes for Halloween."

The three teens froze for a second, looked at each other, and then broke out laughing.

"That's a good one," Xander said. "But seriously, you know Giles?"

"Rupert and I go way back," Ethan said, "I'm planning to surprise him after Halloween and catch up."

"Were you really in a band together?" Buffy asked.

Ethan grinned. "We were quite the ornithologists," he said.

"Bird watchers," Willow offered.

"He still does half of that," Buffy said, making a private joke, knowing her two friends would get it.

"Enough about the past," Ethan said, instantly pegging one of the two girls as the Slayer, "let's get you kitted out."

"Dibs on Michael Knight," Xander said.

"I get the front half," Buffy said quickly.

"I seriously doubt he's going to dress us as a car," Willow said rolling her eyes and trying not to laugh.

"I am completely lost," Ethan admitted, wondering what the joke was.

"We have that effect on British guys," Buffy said proudly.

"If we don't get Giles to roll his eyes and polish his glasses at least once a day, it's a day wasted," Xander agreed.

Ethan chuckled. "Enough fun and games, what were you thinking of for costumes?"

"We have to fit a medieval theme," Willow offered.

"Like a princess?" Ethan asked, leading them to an outfit with a number of layers that wouldn't have been out of place in a medieval castle.

"Wow," Buffy said, mesmerized.

"Something less bulky," Xander told Buffy. "While you would look good in that, it'd be hell to move in, especially while trying to control a pack of munchkins."

"Good point," Buffy said with a sigh. "Got any more practical Disney princess outfits?"

"Indeed I do," Ethan said, modifying his plans as it sounded like the three were going to be escorting children about. He led them to a rack. "Take a look at this."

The three examined the rack and looked at the various outfits and their attached tags naming the characters.

"This is gorgeous and in my size," Buffy said, pulling out a beautiful blue and white dress with a platinum wig.

"That does look nice," Willow agreed.

Buffy held it up to herself so Xander could see it, grinning at the look in his eyes. "I think we have a winner."

"I think so," Willow agreed, looking at the tag on it and finding a sister costume that was more modest and had a red wig. "I like this one."

"Kinda warm to wear in California," Buffy pointed out.

"It goes with yours," Willow pointed out. "Please?" she begged.

"Ack! Puppy dog eyes," Buffy said. "Alright, you can wear that one, now you just have to pick a costume for Xander."

"Who almost got in trouble for fighting today," Willow said with a frown.

"Hey!" Xander said, holding up his hands. "In my defense Larry is a jerk and tried to imply Buffy was easy."

The girls exchanged glances.

"That is a point in his favor," Buffy offered.

"Yeah, so nothing too bad," Willow conceded. "No dressing him up as Bambi or anything."

"Ouch, my masculinity," Xander said, clutching his chest melodramatically.

"Hey, Bambi was masculine," Willow argued.

"Seriously?" Buffy asked.

"When he grew up," Willow said firmly.

"He did have an impressive rack of antlers," Xander admitted as he recalled the end of the movie.

"So… something with antlers?" Buffy asked with a grin.

"Do you really think he has a costume with antlers?" Xander asked doubtfully.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Ethan said with a smirk.

Xander groaned. "I forgot, he's evil."

Ethan chuckled. "Now, now, I think you'll find the costume sufficiently manly, it simply has horns on the helm is all."

"One of the knights who say… NI!" Xander exclaimed with a grin.

"Something like that," Ethan lied, "I lost the tag, but it's pretty close to what I'd imagine they'd wear. It's in the back so I'll have to go get it. I'll meet you three at the front counter."

"You're going to spend all night demanding shrubberies aren't you?" Buffy asked.

"Also saying… NI!" Xander exclaimed dramatically.

"Boys," the girls chorused rolling their eyes as they followed him to the front.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Dru sang as she danced, smooth gliding motions with her arms outstretched, a bright smile on her face.

"What does it mean?" one of the minions asked, well aware of her gifts.

"Buggered if I know," Spike admitted, "but it's kinda catchy."

Typing By: Abyssal Angel