Xander stepping out onto the dance floor at the Bronze with Buffy in tow and nearby couples moved away to give them room. Xander's dancing skills were legendary… just not in a good way. Hell, one of the football team had taken offense when Xander had bumped into him one time and attempted to start a fight while he'd been dancing with Willow, he'd ended up with a black eye, a bloody nose, and some bruised ribs. Worse yet, Xander had never even noticed he'd been in a fight.
Yes, it was safe to say when Xander stepped on the dance floor people took notice… and precautions.
Buffy grinned, while Xander's dancing was… unorthodox, it was also a lot of fun, but as the next song started and he began to move…
Amy slid into the booth next to a stunned Willow. "Okay, tell me seriously, did you switch Xander with someone?"
"What? No!" Willow defended herself.
"Are you sure?" Amy asked cautiously. "Cause I can feel some major mojo coming off him and he's tearing it up out there."
"Some mojo may be involved in his learning to dance," Willow admitted, chewing her lower lip in thought.
"Damn, that must have been some spell," Amy said, "it's actually improving everyone else's dancing as well!"
Willow looked around and saw that Amy was right, everyone's movements were smoother and more in time with the music, which was improving as the local band seemed to find their groove as well.
"I thought it would take an act of god for that boy to learn to dance," Amy said.
"Well… You're not wrong," Willow said, getting up to join them, as it looked like it was safe for two people to dance with Xander now.
Unnoticed a vampire who had entered frowned and shifted uncomfortably before leaving, finding the atmosphere uncomfortable.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"It took the efforts of a god, but you can dance without injuring people now," Buffy said with a grin as they entered the cemetery.
"Not only that, other people were getting better at it and the band started to actually sound good," Willow pointed out.
"As side effects go I'm pretty happy with them," Xander said as he stroked the nearly invisible runes on his left wrist with a smile.
Buffy bumped his hip with her own and there was a jingle in his pocket. "More nickels?" she guessed.
"I wouldn't be surprised," Xander said. "I'm not sure why it's always nickels, but at least I'll be able to get a soda anytime I want."
"You are a glass half full kinda guy," Buffy decided.
"I'm a-" Xander began when a small group of vampires stepped out from behind a mausoleum. "I have to ask, why always black leather?"
The vampires paused and one of them said, "Blends in the dark, never goes out of style, and it's easy to clean blood off of."
"Thanks, that has been bugging me," Xander said.
"No problem, I always try and honor last requests," the vampire said cheerfully, before his face shifted and the fangs came out.
"I don't," Buffy said, darting forward and staking the vamp before he could respond.
"Slayer!" one of the vamps yelped and they all leapt forward to attack the three.
"Eep!" Willow squeaked and scrambled up the side of the mausoleum like a squirrel, causing two of the vampires to stare in shock.
Not one to let an advantage go to waste, Xander kicked one of them in the balls hard enough to lift him half a foot off the ground, and drew a cross from the inner pocket of his jacket that he thrust at the other, causing him to flinch and give him another free shot.
Buffy staked her fourth vamp and turned to find Willow missing and Xander kicking a vampire curled up in the fetal position in the temple, while a second one whimpered on the ground in the same condition. "What'd I miss and where's Willow?" Buffy asked, spinning around, searching for her girlfriend.
"I'm fine," Willow called down from the top of the mausoleum, peeking over the edge.
"How'd you get up there?" Buffy asked in disbelief as Xander rendered another vamp unconscious and stared searching him for something.
"Um… I climbed," Willow admitted, "but I don't know that I can climb down."
"Just fall, I'll catch you," Buffy promised.
"Okay," Willow said, turning and lowering herself over the edge of the roof by her arms.
Since the mausoleum was only one story, Buffy simply reached up, grabbed willow by the legs, and lowered her to the ground.
"I panicked," Willow admitted, embarrassed.
"There was like, half a dozen vamps, panicking is understandable," Buffy assured her.
The sound of vampires dusting caused the two to turn as Xander straightened up, his hands filled with a couple of wallets and some cash and jewelry.
"Did you just mug them?" Buffy asked in disbelief.
"I prefer to think of it as free range archaeology," Xander replied with a grin as he took a respectable amount of cash and some folded up pieces of paper out of the wallets.
"Free range archaeology?" Buffy asked, "How does that work?"
"Well it's basically corpse robbing, just like traditional archaeology, but the corpses are wandering about, thus free range," he explained.
"We're in love with a lunatic," Buffy told Willow.
"I'm aware," Willow assured her before turning to Xander. "I don't think archaeologists like to describe themselves as corpse robbers."
"What's the difference between grave robbing and archaeology?" Buffy asked.
Xander finished tucking the money and jewelry away. "About a hundred years and a research grant."
Buffy looked to Willow who sighed and reluctantly nodded in agreement.
"This is an interesting list," Xander said as he compared the two papers he'd taken from the vamps he dusted and saw they had the same thing copied down.
"Vampire grocery list?" Willow suggested.
"Doubt that'd be very interesting," Buffy disagreed, "it'd just say blood, followed by blood, and then more blood."
"This looks more like spell ingredients," Xander said, "we should probably show it to Giles so he can figure out what they're up to."
"They're up to fertilizing the grass," Buffy pointed out, gesturing to the ash scattered about.
"I doubt we were lucky enough to get their entire kiss," Xander said.
"Their what?" Buffy asked.
"Their kiss," Xander said, "it's what you call a nest of vampires."
"I call them a nest of vampires," Buffy said.
"Yeah, but calling them a kiss pisses them off," Xander said with a grin.
"Fine you can call them a kiss, I'm going to call them a nest," Buffy told him. "It's what Giles calls them so it's the official term."
"Buffy!" Angel called out, quickly joining the three. "I've got to warn you!"
"Warn me of what?" Buffy asked while Angel caught his breath, which was strange considering he didn't need to breathe so it was probably just a habit.
"A master vampire named Sigmund Upgard has moved into the area bringing his entire-"
"Kiss," Xander interjected.
Angel stopped and frowned. "He's not French, in fact I think he's Norwegian."
"So kiss is the proper term for a nest of vampires?" Buffy asked.
"Only if they're French," Angel said. "Anyway, he's come to Sunnydale with his entire nest in search of something, though I'm not sure what. They're a bit smarter than the average vampire and tend to travel in groups of four or more so I wanted to warn you."
"A little late, but that does give us an idea of who they are so Giles should be able to tell us what they're looking for," Xander said as they started walking.
Angel looked around, noting the scattered ashes of at least half a dozen vampires before hurrying to catch up with them.
"I can't believe you made it to the roof of the mausoleum like that," Buffy told Willow, "I didn't even see you move."
"You were dealing with vampires," Willow replied. I can't believe Xander took down two vamps without getting hurt or needing to stake them."
"Cross distracted them and a boot to the groin works on everyone," Xander said with a shrug. "Personally I was surprised the second one held still long enough for me to kick him as well. Must have been fledges."
"They were pretty easy to deal with," Buffy said.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"We spend a lot of time in school," Buffy noted as they entered the hall.
"Yeah, if it wasn't for all those pesky classes I would enjoy it a lot more," Xander said, getting a smack in the shoulder from Willow who pouted at him. "You know I'm just joking," he told her.
"I think we've all developed a new appreciation for PE," Buffy teased, making Xander grin and Willow blush as they remembered what they'd done in the girl's showers.
Angel pretended not to hear, suppressing a wince as he tried to be happy for her.
"Back already?" Giles asked as the four entered. "Did something happen?"
"Ran into half a dozen vamps in Restview cemetery," Buffy said, "they were barely a problem, but Angel has some information on them and they were carrying a list."
"A demonic shopping list," Xander said, handing Giles the two papers.
"Sigmund Upgard has arrived with his nest," Angel explained, "I don't know him personally, but he's well known in demonic circles as an avid researcher. If he's here he's looking for something."
"And being a vampire it's probably something we don't want him to have," Buffy said, as Giles examined the list.
"Sadly none of these items are impossible to acquire though at least two of them will be difficult," Giles noted. "They appear to be spell components, I'll contact the Council and see what I can discover."
"Sounds good," Buffy said. "Well we've patrolled the Bronze and dusted half a dozen vamps, I think it's time for a vacation. How does four days sound?"
"Half a dozen pizzas and some soda?" Xander suggested. "My treat."
"That works," Willow said with a bright smile.
"See you in the morning," Buffy told Giles.
"Bring me some pictures," Giles reminded them.
"Will do," Xander said, before the three ran off.
"I'm missing something," Angel noted.
"Yes you are," Giles agreed, "but it's not my secret to share."
Angel nodded. "Need any help researching what Sigmund is up to?"
"I wouldn't say no," Giles replied. "Even if we can't identify precisely what spell or ritual he is hoping to use, we can at least identify the local resources he'll need to accomplish it."
"And it doesn't matter what he plans if we can block him from getting what he needs," Angel said with a nod.
"Precisely," Giles agreed. "I'll make some calls, it should only take me a minute."
Angel nodded, grateful for the distraction.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
"Home, sweet home," Buffy said as they entered the cottage and Willow set the pizzas on the table.
"Amen," Xander said with a smile.
"Home is where the heart is," Willow said, pulling several items out of her bag and setting them on the table, drawing the others' attention.
"Condoms?" Buffy noted questioningly. "I thought you wanted to wait until everything was perfect."
"We're in Narnia in a house Xander built," Willow said, "I doubt we're going to find anything more special than that."
"Yeah, it's kinda hard to top," Buffy agreed.
"Strawberry flavored lube," Xander read off the bottle he'd picked up.
"Also really tired of waiting," Willow admitted. "I'm not going to let insecurity hold me back."
"Good, it was getting harder and harder to hold back," Buffy told her.
The two girls turned to Xander with matching grins.
"Don't expect me to play coy," Xander said, "if either of you had given me the go ahead I would have jumped on it and you."
"That's what she said," Buffy joked, gesturing towards Willow with her thumb as the no longer shy red head stepped towards Xander…
*Knock*Knock*Knock*
"You've got to be kidding me!" the three teens chorused.
"I'll get it," Xander said with a sigh. "I swear to god if it's a small furry animal I'm going to boot it."
Xander removed the wooden beams and unlocked the deadbolts before pulling open the door. "Fenris," he greeted the anthropomorphic wolf with a sigh.
"My Queen has sent me to invite the Sons and Daughters of Adam to her castle, as we are going to celebrate the day of her birth on the morrow," Fenris said, speaking far more formally than Xander had expected him to be capable of. "It would be inexcusably rude to ignore her invitation," he warned them.
"We are the Sons and Daughters of Sineya," Buffy found herself saying.
Fenris cowered back for a moment, the power of the name she had spoken ringing loudly in his ears. "I see," he said cautiously, unsure who Sineya was but feeling the truth in her words.
"Perhaps a gift," Xander suggested, wondering if Buffy had invoked a power on purpose or it was just something she'd read in one of Giles' books.
"What do we have that would make a proper gift for a Queen?" Willow asked with a frown.
"Mrs. Madison's Grimoire?" Buffy suggested with a shrug.
"She has her own magics and I haven't read it yet," Willow said.
"We've got tons of stuff in the back room she's probably never seen before," Buffy said. "Not sure how much of it she'd find acceptable as a birthday gift though."
"Leaving off strange magics and things she would find little use for… she's a medieval Queen, so what do we have that's superior to what others would give her?" Xander asked, racking his brain for an answer before it came to him and he grinned.
"Xander," Buffy said cautiously, "what are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking a Queen of Narnia might find the top drawer of a couple of different ladies more useful than anything she could find locally," Xander said.
"Top…" Willow's voice trailed off and her eyes widened.
"Seriously?" Buffy asked Xander.
"Silk camisoles and various perfumes," Xander replied.
"Oh," the girls chorused, realizing he wasn't planning on simply dumping a load of panties in a box to give to the queen.
"Yeah, that's a solid gift," Buffy agreed.
"I think they're actually made out of rayon," Willow said, "but it's actually more comfortable and durable than silk and it's not like she'll ever have seen it before. It'll be the only thing made out of rayon in all of Narnia."
"And hence a sufficient gift for a Queen," Xander said smugly.
"We'll choose the ones to give her," Buffy said firmly, "we don't want to send the wrong message."
"I agree," Xander said, "as a male, I'm not exactly the best judge. Make sure to give her a nice selection of perfumes, there were usually a small bottle or two tucked away in the top drawer."
"We know what we're doing," Buffy assured him before she and Willow vanished into the backroom.
Xander turned to Fenris, who was standing in the doorway. "Come in and have a seat."
"Truly?" Fenris asked, surprised.
"Yeah, it's going to take them a little while to find an appropriate gift for Queen Jadis," Xander said, waving him to the table.
Fenris cautiously entered Xander's cottage as if expecting to be attacked at any moment.
"Relax, I hold to the old ways," Xander assured him as he shut the door and barred it. "As long as you are my guest and behave as such, no harm shall come to you."
Fenris slowly nodded and some of the tension went out of him. "I thought we had to share bread and salt for that."
"We do," Xander agreed, opening the top pizza box and handing him a slice. "To your health."
"And yours," Fenris answered back before they both bit into it. He practically inhaled his slice after the bite. "What is this?" he asked.
"Pizza," Xander replied, handing him another slice before lighting the fireplace with a match, an action that Fenris watched carefully.
"I don't understand you," Fenris admitted as Xander rejoined him at the table. "You age at an incredible rate, you have control over magics I've never seen before, and you resemble a Son of Adam yet aren't. You are perfectly vicious in the forest and hold a grudge with glee, yet it almost seems a reflection of the anger the person you are holding it against has."
"I'll give back what you give me," Xander explained, "but I won't make it personal unless the other person does. You do not have a personal problem with me, you are simply following your Queen's orders, as you should, so while I may strike back just as hard as you strike me, I won't do it in anger or try and make it worse."
"Ah," Fenris said with a nod, "and that's why you take such delight in tormenting my brother."
"Exactly," Xander said, helping himself to another slice of pizza, "your brother is an asshole who goes beyond what the Queen orders, trying to throw his weight around, and takes pleasure in causing others pain."
"And since I don't, you hold no malice for me," Fenris realized.
"And it pisses off your brother that much more that I treat you with respect," Xander added, making the wolf chuckle.
Buffy poked her head out from behind the blanket that covered the door to the backroom. "I have no idea how you find anything back here."
"I don't," Xander reminded her with a grin, "but everything is stacked in general order of who we killed."
Buffy made a face and pulled back behind the blanket.
"Defeated foes?" Fenris asked, always digging for more information.
"Mostly demons," Xander told him, "or at least demonically influenced."
Fenris stared at him, unsure if he was joking or not.
"This is where we come to relax and laze about in between battles," he explained.
"I wondered how you'd handled us so easily," Fenris said, "eternal winter and the battle against the return of spring probably doesn't mean anything to you."
"Everyone has their wars to wage," Xander replied, "but this one isn't ours."
"The more I learn about you the more questions I have," Fenris complained with a chuckle.
"I feel the same way about… everything really," Xander said. "The more I learn, the more I find I don't know."
Fenris stared at him for a second and sighed. "Talking to you makes my head hurt."
"I get that a lot," Xander admitted.
The girls came out from the backroom with Buffy carrying Ampata's trunk.
"Comfy undergarments of all sizes and styles with a wide assortment of perfumes and cosmetics," Buffy said, "none of which you can get in this realm, so she should be pleased."
Fenris stood up and accepted the trunk. "I'll make sure my Queen receives your gift and gets your message. I'm not sure how she'll respond to you turning down her invitation, but I'll try and put it in the best light."
Xander opened the door. "Thanks, we appreciate it."
Once Fenris was gone and the door was barred and locked he turned back to them. "Alright, where were we?"
"Between Willow's legs," Buffy replied.
"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed. "Did you have to put it like that?"
"No, it was just funnier that way," Buffy admitted.
"I've rubbed off on you," Xander said proudly.
"Many times," Buffy agreed, "and now we're going to add 'in me', just as soon as Willow is satisfied."
"You do know you didn't have to wait for me to go first," Willow told her.
"Wouldn't feel right," Buffy told her before stealing a kiss, "you've been waiting longer so you are first in line."
"Not going to say anything?" Willow asked Xander.
"As you said, I'm thick but not in that way," Xander told her, "I would love for our first time to be together and since it all counts till everyone involved passes out, our first time can be with Buffy too."
"The math checks out," Buffy said, as she started undoing the buttons on Willow's blouse.
Willow smiled and then froze. "Um… Can we block the fireplace first?"
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
TN: "Bring me some pictures," Giles reminded them.
"Will do," Xander said, before the three ran off. (You totally missed an opportunity for Xander to mess with Giles for wanting pics of them doing the naughty there. XD)
AN: He's trying to be nice to Angel, since Angel is trying to do what's best for Buffy.
AN2: And now on to the Omakes!
RUGoing2writethat: The Lord of the Dance Returns
Shortly after Willow gave up on confessing, much to the relief of a very confused priest who couldn't follow her Willow-babble but just gave her penance by telling her to do some volunteer work and stop licking Mormons, Joyce decided to take the girls to LA for some shopping and a girls day. So Xander decided to go to his cottage for some alone time. He was relaxing and reading a book, when a glowing form started to take shape. Xander put down the book and picked up his can of dog mace.
The figure appeared before him, looking like...himself.
"You'd better start explaining," said Xander as he raised the can of dog mace.
"Oh, good, it worked. Okay, let me explain. You dressed as me on All Hallow's Eve, and that allowed me to create an...uh...anchor by drawing my essence into your body and using it to build a stable connection. That allowed me to escape the Pit," said The Lord of the Dance.
"Oh, I see."
"Since Santa Claus is my older brother, and you helped me to escape from the Pit, and he declared you to be family, thus making you officially an actual member of our family, I am allowed to grant you a boon. And here it is." He withdrew from his pocket three tear-shaped diamonds. He put one around Xander's neck and it sank into his skin. "Place the other two around your girlfriends' necks, and you three will be bonded. No harm may come to you while you are together, and when you are apart, if one of you is in danger, the other two will always know where to find them. And, when you pass, you can join the family and become...spiritual entities like myself."
Xander just stared at him.
"You saved me from the pit. Even if it was unintentional, you dressing like me granted me the ability to escape the First Fallen. That is an enormous debt that covers you and your loved ones. Oh, one more thing," said the Lord of the Dance, as he reached into another pocket and pulled out two vials of clear liquid. "Since Joyce is more like a mother to you and Giles is more like a father to you, have them drink these. It will put them into peak physical, mental, and emotional condition for several decades and extend their lifespans significantly."
Xander stared at the vials. "Why can't you grant them the ability to become spiritual entities?"
"Ah, yes, well, Joyce and Giles have earned their own rewards. Joyce by being the mother of the slayer will become a Guardian spirit and Giles, because he truly sees the Slayer as a daughter and not just a tool to be used, will become a powerful Guiding spirit, but they won't be part of our own hierarchy but that doesn't mean you cannot see them. The vials just ensure that they can live as long as you three will."
"What?" asked Xander.
"Oh, right, well, by dressing up like me, and by my drawing my essence into your body, I inadvertently extended your lifespan by several decades. And when you are fully mature, you'll be almost as strong as the slayer. And I couldn't leave you like that without granting your loved ones the same. When they put those amulets on, they will share in your extended lifespan. By my estimate, you will probably die sometime around age 137, give or take a few years."
"What about injury or disease?" asked Xander.
"Your immune system and ability to heal will match that of the slayer and so will Willow's. I cannot say the same for Joyce or Giles, but they will be much tougher than your average human."
"What?" asked Xander, "What do you mean? Why can't they be equal to the slayer?"
The Lord of the Dance sighed. "There are rules and complications which prevent such a thing. The only reason I am able to get such a thing for you and Willow is because a higher authority than the Powers has decided that your destiny is together."
"Santa is a Higher Authority?" asked Xander.
"Not exactly but close enough. He is part of a different Hierarchy and his...I guess you could say his boss is the Higher Authority," said The Lord of the Dance.
"Oh, I see." said Xander.
"So, the vials are only supposed to grant them peak physical condition and the maximum possible lifetime; however, I accidentally, (here he made air quotes) added a few ingredients by mistake (more air quotes) that will give them about half to three-fourths of the strength and healing abilities of the slayer," said the Lord of the Dance, grinning.
Xander grinned.
"I suggest that you bring them here, let them take the vials, and get used to their increased abilities and strength. Also, it would help in explaining things. Joyce will be able to accept things far better if she can see them. And let me say, she is someone you want as an ally not an enemy," said The Lord of the Dance.
Manatheron's Out-Take
Twas week after Halloween and all through the Glen
No creature came calling for fear of the 'men'
One arm round a brunette, the other round blonde
He lay nearly dreaming, Thoughts like ripples on pond
When suddenly up from their arms he did shoot
His eyes round as saucers, atmosphere rendered moot
"I get it!" He cried, to the girls amused wonder
"Get what?" Asked the blonde feeling there should be thunder.
"The Nickels!" He cried "I now understand"
Even if it wasn't quite what Ethan had planned.
"He brought out the costume, I had my fist sight
An when I mentioned Santa, to cover my fright."
"You'll never be Nicholas from this" he did laugh
(Though I wonder if already he was sizing the calf)
The blonde and the redhead exchanged such a look
That if Xander had noticed his boots would have shook
"Okay" said the redhead "I don't understand
How a throw away comment from professed mad man
Has left you with bounty, of coins you can spend
The redhead professed as this poem nears it's end
"Two words not one"
"He said I'll never be Nickel-less."
now I'm done.
