Cordelia was surprised to see that the three managed to entertain Harmony for four days in a row for the entire first period and not end up looking dead on their feet. She figured Buffy would last, being the slayer and all, but Xander and Willow? Even after having spent a night with them herself, she'd expected Harmony to have exhausted them by now, but nope each day they had spent the morning helping Harmony deal with her issue, and gone on as normal, even spending some of lunch helping her with her homework.
She suspected they spent at least two days in Narnia for every day in Sunnydale, but it was still impressive.
Harmony hummed cheerfully in her seat and wrote down the homework assignment, relaxed and smiling. It had been a great week; she'd spent time with her friends and they'd proven to be actual friends! They hadn't made excuses and abandoned her once they'd gotten tired, but had actually spent time with her in public!
The bell rang and everyone got up to go to their next class.
"Lunch?" Harmony asked hopefully.
"You know where our table is." Buffy gave her a smile.
"Bring your science homework so I can look it over," Willow reminded her.
Harmony darted forward to give the two a brief hug, leapt onto Xander for one with a butt squeeze, before bouncing off to her next class.
"She is so much more pleasant to be around these days," Cordelia told the three. "If I didn't know better I'd think she was replaced with a pod person."
"I'm not going to argue with that," Willow said, "I remember how she was."
"Like she was auditioning for mean girl number two in the latest movie?" Xander suggested.
"Exactly," Cordelia agreed, "while now she is bright and cheerful and full of energy and not molesting anyone in the showers."
Willow and Buffy turned and gave her a look.
"I mean besides you two," she corrected herself.
Xander grinned behind them and Buffy and Willow smacked him in the shoulders without even looking.
"Perving on the three of you mentally?" Cordelia guessed.
"Imagining a world where we have Co-Ed showers," the two chorused before looking at one another and grinning.
"They know me so well," Xander said.
"If you guys need to tag out and drag him in, the squad said he's welcome to shower with Harmony," Cordelia offered.
"Seriously?" Xander asked.
"No, not seriously," Cordelia said, rolling her eyes. "They volunteered to clear one row of the showers so they'd have some privacy."
Xander frowned. "Isn't that the same thing?"
"No, because you were picturing molesting Harmony with the entire team showering around you," Cordelia said.
"She gets him too," Willow said at Buffy's questioning look.
"Or we've just watched the same porno," Xander offered.
Cordelia opened her mouth to snark at him, paused and closed her mouth, gaining a thoughtful look on her face before turning and leaving without a word.
Xander just grinned. "And off to the library we go."
Buffy and Willow exchanged glances as they followed him, both wondering what porno he was talking about but neither wanting to ask, while the other wanted them to.
"Hey Giles, what's the what?" Xander asked.
"I presume you're asking about the detection spell last night?" the watcher asked, looking up from the book he was reading.
"That too," Buffy said, setting her school supplies on the table.
"Plus all the rest of our extracurricular activities information," Willow said, checking the library to make sure they were alone.
"Principal Snyder is human, as I have stated before," Giles said, "both Harmony and Cordelia, while not demonic in any way, may in fact be descended from a supernatural being. It's faint, so it's not anything to be concerned about."
"Not demonic but supernatural," Xander said with a frown. "Like Zeus or something like that?"
Giles shrugged. "I doubt it was a major god or the traces would be much more noticeable, but possibly one of their great grandparents was a neutral being of some sort."
"Huh," Buffy said. "I was sure she was at least half succubus."
"Apparently she's just… really, really, really, energetic," Willow said.
"So, Angel met with a female vamp last night and didn't stake her," Buffy said, changing the subject, "he mention why? I'm just asking cause that's kinda out of character for him."
"Also a little jealousy, but only a little," Willow added, making Buffy groan and Xander roll his eyes.
"Yes, that was Drusilla the Mad," Giles said, "Angelus drove her insane before turning her, she was one of the Scourge of Europe, and is Spike's paramour. Naturally Angel feels quite bad about what happened to her so he is somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of staking her, however the reason he avoided doing so at this time is because Spike would go on a rampage if she were harmed. He suggested that you hold off on that until Spike was dealt with."
"You are going to be like catnip to her," Willow told Xander.
"Beautiful, insane, homicidal and supernatural," Xander listed off, "yeah that checks out."
Buffy nodded. "Can't really argue with that and it looks like we won't be dusting her until Spike is gone. Glad there was a reasonable explanation there. Anything else?"
Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them. "I have purchased The Rising Sun, or rather have usurped the position of owner with Sigmund's dusting. I believe it is a safe place to experiment with your various 'princess' powers."
"Stage has plenty of room to sing and dance," Xander agreed. "Seems a bit much for just that though."
"Yes, well… I also wanted to make sure the only Jazz club in town didn't shut down before it opened," Giles admitted. "It'll also give us someplace safer to meet than the school library and more room for training."
"It's your money and the place did look classy," Buffy said. "Sounds good to me."
"And on the topic of property, a new club based in a fallout shelter called The Sunset Club has just been opened," the watcher reported.
"Is it too obvious?" Willow asked after they sat there in silence for a few seconds.
"No, that's just the sort of stupidity you'd expect from them," Xander said, "it's like they've never even read the Evil Overlord's list. At least the CIA named their programs Mockingbird, MK-Ultra, and Mongoose."
"Do all their program names start with an M?" Buffy asked.
"No, those are just the first ones that I thought of," Xander replied.
"Okay, so that's a no brainer to check out, because evil is stupid," Buffy said with a sigh. "I'm really glad our enemies aren't smart, but I really wish they weren't insulting our intelligence this way."
"It could be worse," Willow said, "it could be like in Sailor Moon where the enemy is someone who shows up at their school in the beginning of the season and is really obvious to everyone but them."
The door to the library opened and a young man entered. "Hey Summers, fancy meeting you here."
Buffy face palmed while Willow and Xander glanced at each other and nodded.
"Giles, do you have some rubbing alcohol and bleach?" Xander asked.
"There should be some with the cleaning supplies in the closet, why?"
"I just have to make something real quick," Xander replied, before heading for the closet.
"Is there a carpet about six feet long and at least five feet wide nearby?" Willow asked.
"There is one in my office, Buffy spilled tea on it and I was going to send it out to be cleaned," Giles answered, unsure what they were up to.
"Did I come at a bad time?" Ford asked.
Buffy waved it off. "No, you have impeccable timing," she assured him.
Willow brought out Giles' rug. "Help me spread this out," she told Ford.
"Alright," the teen agreed. "Why are we doing this?" he asked as he helped her.
"It's just more convenient this way," Willow told him. "Stand here." She guided him to stand at one end of the rug.
"Convenient?" he asked, confused.
Xander walked up to him and held a dripping rag over his face. "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Ford struggled, but quickly went limp and Xander lowered him to the carpet and started rolling him up in it.
"Does this smell like chloroform," Buffy repeated, shaking her head.
"Can't go wrong with the classics," Xander told her. "I think we should take him to someplace a little colder to interrogate."
"It'll save time and we do have a free period," Willow agreed.
"Do we call a cab or do we know a student who has a car we can borrow?" Buffy asked, deciding to just roll with it.
"When you say interrogate…" Giles asked cautiously.
"We're going to get him very, very, drunk," Xander said. "I have a knack for it."
"Halloween leftovers," Giles said with a nod. "I can loan you my car, but I don't believe any of you have a driver's license."
"You only need a license to get pulled over," Xander replied, "and I know the current patrol routes."
"Very well, try not to damage it," Giles said, retrieving his keys and passing them to him.
0o0o0o0o0o0
Ford woke up with a throbbing pain in his skull. "What hit me?" he asked, confused and wondering what had happened.
"After effects of chloroform," Xander told him, handing him a mug full of silvery liquid. "Drink this."
Ford took a deep draw off the mug and sighed. "Hey, my pain is gone! Wait! Chloroform?!"
"Yeah, you were just a wee bit too obvious," Buffy told him sarcastically, "better luck next time."
Ford sighed and took another drink. "There isn't going to be a next time. What is this?" he asked, looking in his mug.
"Like it? I made it out of egg nog, some candied fruit, and a few odds and ends. It's got quite a kick," Xander told him.
"I'll say," Ford agreed, "I can't even feel the pain of my cancer."
"Cancer?" Buffy asked, exchanging worried looks with Willow.
"Yeah, brain cancer," he replied. "Huh, you'd think something strong enough to numb my pain would make it hard to think, but I feel more clear headed than I have since… forever."
"So… what was your evil plan?" Xander asked, refilling his mug.
"Evil plan? Hadn't really thought that far," Ford admitted, "I just knew Buffy knew about vampires and that Sunnydale seemed to be a center for them. I figured I'd come here set up shop and figure out a way to become a vampire so I wouldn't die slowly becoming a twisted shadow of what I was. Man, that sounds melodramatic and stupid when I say it out loud."
"Yeah, plus becoming a vampire doesn't let you live on, the demon kicks you out and sets up shop in your corpse," Xander told him.
"Another dead end then," Ford said before laughing. "Dead end," he said with a grin.
"So… knowing all that, what will you do now?" Buffy asked sadly.
Ford shrugged. "I'll take suggestions. Right now, I'm thinking staying drunk till the end is better than anything I had planned."
Xander nodded. "I hear you," he said and refilled Ford's mug before filling a pair for the girls. "To living well!" He held up his mug.
Ford tapped it. "And a quick death," he added.
"Better than a slow one," Xander agreed as they both took a drink.
The girls took a drink as well.
"I'm hungry," Ford said with a smile. "I haven't felt hungry in over a month."
"Have some pizza," Buffy said, offering him a slice, "we picked up some on the way in."
"Thanks I appreciate it," he said practically wolfing it down.
"Why The Sunset Club?" Willow asked.
"Sunnydale already had a place called The Rising Sun or I would have used that," Ford said before he started singing, "There was a house in New Orleans…"
Sunrise
Buffy woke up to sunlight shining through a porthole directly in her face. She winced and moved her head, surprised to find she didn't have a hangover and that they'd all fallen asleep at the table. She stretched and looked around. Xander and Ford were leaning against each other unconscious while Willow was sitting on the floor with her head lying on her crossed arms on her chair. Her chair screeched on the cement as she stood up waking everyone.
"Dibs on the bathroom," Willow said as she got up, stumbling around because of numb legs before heading towards the bathroom.
"Hey," Ford said, straightening in his seat, "you guys throw some great parties."
"Any friend of Buffy's is a friend of ours," Xander told him.
"Thanks," he said with a smile before frowning. "My head doesn't hurt."
"My stuff doesn't cause hangovers," Xander told him.
"No, you don't understand," Ford said, "my head doesn't hurt at all. I'm stone cold sober and I'm not in pain or nauseous." He held out a hand palm down. "Not even a tremor," he said in wonder.
Buffy and Xander exchanged glances and shrugs.
"Not sure what that means," Buffy told him.
Ford grinned. "I'm required to take some heavy medication every four hours to even be able to function and my hand's shake pretty badly when I'm not doing my best to control them. I'm… feeling good when not drugged to the gills and I don't know why."
Buffy and Xander exchanged glances.
"This is a place of healing and renewal," Buffy said, "I just didn't know it was meant literally."
"You were a much easier villain of the week to deal with than Sigmund," Xander told Ford.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Ford decided with a laugh overjoyed to be healthy.
Willow came out of the bathroom. "What did I miss?"
"Ford is healthy, so we gotta take him back to where we got him," Xander told her.
Willow shrugged and grabbed the roll of carpet. "Help me spread this out," she told Ford.
Ford hesitated. "Can we do this without the drugging?"
"You are such a big baby," Willow said. "Fine, I'll get a blindfold."
Typing by: Me!
Beta by: Mist-Of-Shadows
AN: Happy New Year!
