Sparks Fly

A DC fanfiction by Andrew Joshua Talon

DISCLAIMER: This is a non-profit fan-based work of prose. Superman, Livewire, Batman and all other characters and worlds are the property of Warner Brothers and DC Comics. Please support the official release.


THE MAIN MAN - PRELUDE

The Daily Planet had been a fixture of Metropolis from the 1850s, capitalizing off of the then-recent discovery of Neptune to have a fresh and new newspaper title. It encapsulated the idea of progress, that the world was truly becoming connected thanks to the railway and the telegraph. It wasn't until Metropolis' debut of the skyscraper in the 1930s, nearly a century later, that the newspaper got its now iconic home on the corner of Shuster Ave and 1st Street in downtown. Complete with the huge globe statue atop it, that shone like a beacon across the City of Tomorrow.

It was impossible to miss, and despite her own cynicism Leslie still appreciated the art deco design of the skyscraper in the midst of so much soulless glass, steel and concrete. The old building was a survivor, and she appreciated it.

She hoped it could pass on a little of that to her via osmosis though, as she pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. The Bluetooth earbud glowing at the side of her head was the source of her irritation as she entered the main lobby.

"Lenny, I thought I made it fucking clear: This is my day off," Leslie hissed to the microphone stuck to the side of her jaw. She could imagine Lenny rubbing his hand over his badly disguised bald spot.

"You can still help me out here, Leslie! Come on! We need something for the gossip columns and-"

"Other thing I thought I made fucking clear: My personal life is off limits," Leslie growled. A little old lady sitting by the elevator gave her an affronted look, but Leslie ignored it as she hit the call button.

"That was before you actually had one," Lenny responded. "I mean, a steady boyfriend? Girlfriend? They're already speculating! You could at least tell me who it is!"

Leslie scoffed.

"I don't have to tell you shit!"

"But Leslie, babe," Lenny insisted, "when you're a celebrity you gotta use reputation! I mean, that interview with Superman and Lois is old news now!"

"It was a month ago and our ratings are still as high as ever! Not to mention our views," Leslie retorted. "We're doing great!"

"But we can always be doing better!" Lenny insisted. "Come on! That incident at the restaurant got you some buzz but not as much as-"

"That incident at the restaurant fucking sucked," Leslie hissed, "and I'm not repeating it. I'm not a fucking Kardashian! I'm not going to turn my personal life into a circus!"

"But Leslie-Come on-Be reasonable!" Lenny insisted.

"Hey, know what's reasonable?" Leslie asked cheerfully. She hung up, and blocked Lenny's number.

"That. Asshole," she muttered. The old woman was still staring at her. Leslie sucked in a deep breath, and let it out hard. She smoothed down the front of her dress, and gave the old lady a warm smile.

"Hey," she said, rummaging in her basket, "you look like you could use a pick me up." She handed the old lady a blue chrysanthemum, holding it out as an offering. The old lady hesitated, then took it. She sniffed it, and smiled. Leslie nodded to her.

The elevator chimed, and the doors finally opened. Leslie strode in, turning around. The old lady's smile made hers a lot more genuine. That's what she wanted to greet Clark with.

She made it to the offices near the top floor, only getting a few weird looks from a few employees as she walked between the numerous desks for all of the busy journalists. The large windows overhead gave a simply amazing view of the city skyline, and Leslie could see the logic in the design: No office? That's fine, give everyone a window.

It also made eavesdropping a lot easier, as she approached the desk Clark was sitting at. There was Lane, standing in front of him as he typed, holding up a newspaper and complaining about something.

"I'm confused, Kent. See, I've lived in Metropolis most of my life and I can't figure out how some yokel from Smallville is suddenly getting every hot story in town," Lois said, looking annoyed but showing just a bit of respect. Leslie paused, as she saw Clark lean closer to Lois.

"Well, Lois, the truth is, I'm actually Superman in disguise and I only pretend to be a journalist in order to hear about disasters as they happen, and then squeeze you out of the byline," he replied. He leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on his desk with a very sexy, smug smile.

Lois was silent for a moment, then smirked back.

"You're a sick man, Kent," she stated, turning and heading to her own desk. Clark shrugged.

"You asked," he chuckled.

Okay. That was kind of hot, Leslie thought. Outwardly, she maintained her character as she approached Clark's desk. She cleared her throat and smiled warmly, putting her hands around her flower basket as Clark looked up at her.

"Excuse me Mister Kent," she said in a gentle, warm tone, "I'm Aerith Gainsborough. We met when you did that story on the Suicide Slum Midgar Church?"

Lois immediately raised an eyebrow. Clark stared for a second, and then recognition flashed in his eyes.

"I've never heard of a Midgar Church in Suicide Slum," Lois said slowly, eyes narrowed. Leslie shrugged, still conveying that warm, gentle smile like the sun.

"It's gone through a few different names, but Mister Kent really helped us out," she said. She gave Clark a warmer smile, with just the right amount of mischief in her gaze. "I was hoping to thank Mister Kent personally? His article has increased our donations by almost double!"

"Uh, certainly," Clark said. He stood up and smiled at her. "I don't need any thanks-"

Leslie wrapped her arms around his bicep, and beamed sweetly up at him.

"Oh, but I insist!" She giggled. "You might also help us by doing another story?"

"Well," Clark began, glancing back at Lois and then back at Leslie, "I'm sure we can work out the details."

"Superman, huh?" Lois deadpanned. Clark shrugged, and immediately began guiding Leslie away from the desks towards one of the utility rooms on the other side of the main floor.

"He helps all kinds," Clark replied, smirking just a bit. Leslie hid her own, until they finally got into a deserted conference room. He shut the door, and turned around with one eyebrow firmly raised above his glasses.

"Leslie… Why are you visiting me dressed as Aerith Gainsborough?" He asked, extremely bemused. Leslie hummed and pushed up against him with a broad smile.

"What? I can't just visit my boyfriend on my day off?" She asked. Clark scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"I mean… I don't mind but-Is that what we are now?" He asked. Leslie put her hands on her hips, pulling back just a bit.

"Well, I did make you soup and you rocked my world," she said, "I think that fits the basic definition."

Clark nodded, smiling a bit wryly.

"Fair enough," he said. He looked her up and down, and he whistled softly. "Now that's impressive."

"I think I might stick with it for a few conventions," she said, "but I wanted your opinion first." She spun around, pirouetting with some difficulty in her hiking boots.

"How do I look?" Leslie asked. Clark beamed.

"Like the kind of person I'd save the world for, over and over," he said. Leslie giggled, and hugged him tightly.

"That's just what I was going for," she said happily. She looked up at him with a smirk.

So," Leslie began, "you feel like playing hooky for the rest of the day? Doing some Chocobo riding?"

Clark sighed, and hugged her back tightly.

"I'd love to. Honestly, I would," Clark said, "but I'm on a deadline with Perry over a story about Lexcorp and I can't afford to drop it now."

"Oh," Leslie said with a nod, "I see."

Clark immediately looked concerned, "I am really sorry, Leslie," he said. Leslie sighed and turned away, looking out the window and going for as soulful a look as possible. It must have been working since Clark looked even guiltier.

"I understand," she said, "your job is important. You being so committed to it is one of the reasons I care about you."

Clark nodded back slowly.

"I'm glad you see it that way," Clark replied. He was about to turn away, but Leslie caught his arm and pulled him into another tight embrace. She looked up at him with a broad, happy smile.

"Which means we should make the most of the time we have," she said, running her hands up and down his sides. Clark's eyes widened.

"Uh, Leslie, I don't think I-"

"Are you saying, Clark Kent," Leslie began, rubbing a circle into Clark's firm chest with her finger, "that when your girlfriend dresses up in hot cosplay to visit you at work and offers to let you do anything you want to her in this empty conference room, you'll say no?"

Clark's jaw dropped. Leslie's smirk widened even more, as she nuzzled his chest.

"I… That is-"

"I'm not hearing a no~," Leslie purred. She looked up at him. "Come on Smallville. We have to be quick, but I'm sure you can do just fine. Enough to make us both happy, hm?"

"I…" Clark gulped. Leslie smirked. Clark finally smirked back.

"I'm willing to find out," he growled.

"That's what I like to hear," Leslie said with a beam.


Twenty minutes later, Clark emerged from the conference room, adjusting his tie and wearing a much more relaxed smile. He walked towards his desk, only to notice that Lois was not at hers. Jimmy Olsen was though, checking his phone.

"What's up Jimmy?" Clark asked. Jimmy looked up at the reporter and grinned.

"Oh man, you will not believe this," Jimmy said, holding up his phone. "Some space biker just smashed into a police precinct a few blocks away and started shooting up the place! Man, is this the weirdest viral marketing campaign or what?"

Clark's eyes widened. "And Lois went to go cover it?" He asked. Jimmy nodded, glancing back at his phone.

"I wanted to get you, but she was determined not to get scooped by you again," he said. He looked back at Clark. "I guess this means she'll get the story-Huh?"

Clark was long gone. Jimmy blinked a few times. He shrugged.

"Okay, I guess maybe she won't," he muttered. He looked back at his phone, then felt a hand tap his shoulder. He looked up and gawked.

"Huh?! Aerith?!"

The woman beamed at him, even as she leaned heavily on a nearby desk. "Hey," she said, "mind helping me downstairs? I've called an Uber but I'm gonna have some trouble getting down."

"Uh… Sure miss?" Jimmy said. He let the woman lean against him as they made their way for the elevators. "What were you doing here?"

"I needed to chat with Mister Kent about a few things," she said with a happy sigh, "and we resolved it all…" Here she purred, "very nicely."

Jimmy may have been a teenager, but he wasn't stupid. Or at least as stupid as most people thought. Some hot cosplayer visiting Clark and emerging from a room after almost half an hour alone?

"Did you invite him to cosplay with you?" Jimmy asked. The woman laughed.

"Something like that, sweet summer child…"

"Awesome," Jimmy said, as he got her to the elevator, "the guy needs to get out more. All I ever see him doing is work, work, work..."


After that… A week of nothing. She'd seen the videos. She'd seen the damage. She'd made commentary:

A crazy alien biker attacking Superman? That was news. That was something to stream. It was a new chapter in the insanity that was now real life. Another thing for endless commentary and rewriting of the books of science, philosophy, and everything else.

Once again, Superman vanished. The world just went nuts over that. As usual. It was annoying.

Well, someone could. But it would have been seen as ridiculous, mad. Then it happened, and there was a whole new definition of insanity for everyone to work out.

There she was though. Awash in the impossible. Still worrying over one man.

"This is Station WLXL, from Swan Tower in the heart of Metropolis, the Livewire show," Leslie spoke into the microphone, a bit dully, "now streaming online. And we're in day 5 of Superman being gone. As usual, Lex Luthor is hardest hit."

She leaned back in her chair, idly tapping her pencil on the desk. She sighed under her breath.

"I mean, I bet he had a new killer robot all ready to fight Superman with. And now, all he can do is polish the chrome on it, over and over, and look wistfully over at a poster of the Blue Boy Scout. Maybe this time, this time, Superman will notice him and finally love him." She sighed and tapped her feet together.

"I mean, it's not like the guy is any good at interpersonal relations. You see the way that Mercy Graves looks at him? She could show up nude and he'd just tell her to put on the latest anti-Superman armor for him. Now she knows how Harley Quinn feels about Joker."

Leslie tossed her pencil up into the air. It fell, clattering onto the floor. Leslie rolled her eyes.

"If you call that love, please: Stop commenting in my stream. It's creepy as fuck, and it means you probably don't actually have any meaningful human interactions."

She sighed, looking down for a bit. She was silent. Silent long enough that Lenny waved in the sound room. She cleared her throat.

"Anyway," she began, "we have callers on the line. Caller, go, you're on the air."

"Hello, this is Martha from Smallville, Kansas," said a kind, warm voice, "calling in for the first time-Hello Leslie!"

Leslie blinked, thrown off briefly.

"Uh, hey," she said, "listening from a long way away, huh?"

"Well, my son told me to tune in. He said you could be a bit colorful, but spoke honestly," Martha said, "and I have to say I'm enjoying it. That Lex Luthor did try to expand into Smallville several years back. He was a charmer, I'll give him that. But he always takes things too personally. Ego of his. I mean, men can ignore the love of a wonderful woman without having to be into men too."

"Something you're familiar with, Martha?" Leslie asked, unable to hide her grin. Martha chuckled.

"Oh my yes. I've been married for over thirty years. You tend to recognize that men have their drives and goals. Sometimes there's nothing you can do but let them be. Sometimes though, you have to step in and make sure they know this is a partnership, not a solo act."

"Marriage?" Leslie asked. "I was under the impression it was a contact sport. Very messy."

"Sometimes, yes," Martha said, with a smile in her voice, "it can be messy. But I was referring to life. Life is messy… But it's always better when you can trust someone to be at your side. Lex Luthor… That man doesn't seem to have anyone he can really trust at his side. Not really."

"Yeah, but him not getting to fight Superman with another giant robot is funnier," Leslie replied. Martha laughed.

"Well, boys never like not being able to go out and play. My own boy hated rainy days."

Leslie nodded slowly. "Yeah, I'll bet," she said. "So, Luthor may not be gay, he may just be a gigantic man child who wants to show up the other kids at the playground?"

"At some point, a lot of us can be like that. Boy or girl, we like being the center of attention sometimes. It's the ones who always have to be that who are the troublemakers," Martha said.

Leslie hummed. "So, happy housewife from Smallville: Where do you think Superman is right now?"

There was a short but noticeable pause. Then:

"Wherever he is, he's no doubt trying to get back home to us, as fast as possible," Martha said, "and we need to trust that he'll get back."

Leslie frowned, leaning up in her chair. "You believe that for everyone?" She asked.

Martha chuckled. "I believe that for my son, and he and Superman? They both know where home is. They always get back, sooner or later. Besides, all this drama over him being gone-again-is quite exhausting, isn't it dear?"

"It is part of how I make my living, Martha," Leslie admitted. She saw Lenny waving frantically in the sound booth, and sighed. "But hey. We need to go to the next caller."

"No problem," Martha said cheerfully, "and don't worry! He'll be back before you know it!"

"Who's worried?" Leslie chuckled. "All right, next caller, you're on the air!"

"Hey Leslie. Long time listener, first time call in," said a familiar voice. Leslie's jaw dropped, and she nearly fell out of her chair.

"Clark?!" She cried. At the looks of her crew from the sound booth, she blushed, and immediately calmed herself as Clark chuckled. "Ah, hey: Clark Kent, Daily Planet, right?"

"Right," Clark said, "been a while huh?"

"Uh, yeah," Leslie snorted, "a while since I saved you!"

"And Superman, I'm not forgetting that," Clark said. Leslie smirked, getting back into character so to speak.

"Yeah, now if the memes about that would ever stop," she said. "So! Been a while since you were around. You didn't get kidnapped again, did you?"

A rough, gruff voice laughed in the background.

"Again, you geek? Oh man, that's hilarious!"

"And that is?" Leslie asked.

"Well, that is-" Clark tried, before the gruff voice interrupted.

"THIS is the Main Man, Lobo the Bounty Hunter! And I'm talking with these two geeks-Superman and Clark Kent! I kidnapped them-The latter one was an accident I'll admit. Didn't even know he'd stowed away! But hey, he's going to make me look good!"

"A miracle worthy of Jesus," Clark muttered. "Anyway, turns out Superman and Lobo were both kidnapped by an alien called the Preserver who collects the last of any species. I got caught up in it when he decided to stop by for something nearly extinct on Earth. Superman and Lobo managed to get free and defeat the Preserver, and now they're bringing us home. With an alien zoo and a starship for scientists to all study."

Leslie gaped in disbelief. It seemed like the insanity of real life had just hit another level.

"... I bet Lois Lane is freaking the fuck out right now."

"I don't dare to speculate," Clark said, "anyway, we'll be landing at S.T.A.R. Labs pretty soon. See you soon… Sooner if Lobo crashes this thing."

"HEY! The Main Man is the best pilot in the universe! Bar none!" Lobo shouted. "Also, your Earth photographers had better get my good side!"

"They will, they will," Clark said, "we're losing the satellite and-!"

The call cut out. Leslie got up and grinned, She pulled her headphones off and tossed them aside.

"LENNY! Get the van! I'm not letting Lane beat me to this one!"

She had a whole wardrobe of sexy cosplay to show him and have sex with him in!


Aboard the Preserver's ship, Superman looked over at Lobo as the Czarnian carefully piloted the ship. Well, 'carefully' being relative: The bounty hunter was still whacking the console and cursing a lot as the Earth became bigger in the viewscreen.

"Hey, listen," Superman began, "thanks for helping me out there."

Lobo grinned. "Well hey! The moment I learned you had an actual girlfriend, the Bro Code kicked in! Bros before hos is a universal constant!"

Clark rubbed the back of his head. "Heh, well…"

"In fact, I won't even try to steal her from ya," Lobo said cheerfully. "Unless she's that feisty one with the purple skirt."

"Well, no," Clark said. Lobo stared in disbelief.

"What?! You ain't hitting that?! Even I can see how much she's into you! For now, anyway! Well then-!"

"She likes Superman," Clark growled angrily, "but my girlfriend likes… My secret identity."

Lobo stared at him. "So let me get this straight," the Czarnian stated, "you have two hotties after your dual identities?"

Clark sighed. "Yeah. I mean, it's complicated but-"

Lobo laughed and slapped Clark on the back hard enough he was nearly bowled over.

"HAHAHA! You are a man in there, Supes! I was worried for a second! You're uptight, but damn if you aren't impressing me!"

"Yeah, thanks," Clark sighed. "Now, are you sure you can land this thing?"

"For you? Absolutely," Lobo said. He held up a finger. "I just want one thing in exchange."

Clark stared at Lobo.

"And that is?"

"How do you tie a tie and wear those glasses?" Lobo asked, "because I wanna try this whole 'mild mannered' thing for myself!"

Clark stared at him for even longer. He shrugged.

"All right."

"YEAH! Just you wait, hotties of the universe! The Main Man is gonna be double the trouble from now on!"

"You sure are," Clark muttered.


I'm hoping this is enough for this two part episode. I mean, Lobo's in it so I have to go over the top. But I didn't want to overdo it.