Mention of nonconsensual sex and very intimate cuddling in the chapter.
Meeting up with the others takes much longer than Jesse expected.
In fact, it doesn't even happen.
Actually finding the meeting spot isn't the difficult thing, although Jesse catches a glimpse of several rather pretty flowers on the way to the meeting spot. They would buy some seeds for Aiden, but they don't know if there're any flowers he particularly likes, so they just leave it.
By the time they get there, the sun is already casting slightly longer shadows across the ground, but none of them mind, especially since Aiden, Maya, and Gill aren't quite there yet, so it's not as if they kept the others waiting.
They just sit down on a bench, Petra quickly tugging the jacket onto Jesse and almost smothering them with it at one point since she is keeping an eye on every demon that happens to pass by and doesn't notice where she was moving her hands.
She apologizes furiously upon realizing her mistake.
After a while, Lukas ceases putting away a magic-summoned visual illusion clock that he keeps checking every five minutes, allowing Jesse to watch the minute hand steadily tick past five minutes, then ten, then twenty, then two hours.
The blindfold, of course, hides his expression for the most part.
But Jesse can tell he's getting worried.
By the time the sun is touching the horizon, Petra and Lukas have started quietly talking while Jesse fondles Reuben's ears and the pig oinks happily in their lap, butting his nose against their arms while also glancing at Petra and Lukas periodically. They can catch different phrases and comments, but without context they sound scarier than they probably are.
... causing trouble...
... tight situation, maybe?...
... do you think maybe...?
After the sun has descended halfway past the horizon and the streetlights start coming on, Petra taps Jesse on the shoulder, giving them a light smile that Jesse can still feel the tense anxiety in.
"Hey, Jesse, uh... we're thinking about leaving you at Stella's place and let you get set up while we go check and make sure Gill and Aiden didn't get drunk or something. Wouldn't be the first time."
They don't tell her they can read the lie in her voice.
They don't tell her they can tell that she isn't being entirely truthful, they can tell that she just wants to make sure they're in safer hands than just bringing them along in the search, that they're going to be a nuisance and a bother and a distraction if they come along while they are searching for the other half-demons.
They don't tell her that they are worried too.
They just give her a bright smile and a nod.
"Okay."
Jesse's sort of glad they found that pair of footie pajamas in the dresser back at the castle in the Underneath. They're really nice for keeping drafts out and making them not feel cold, even if it does make them look tiny.
(Which it does.)
The manor that Stella lives in is (unsurprisingly) somewhat minimalistic, being constructed of white material (quartz?) on the outside and birch and acacia wood on the inside, pretty white flowers with black leaves that Jesse doesn't recognize sitting in pots periodically along the hallway.
Honestly, they'd be happy to look around, except they're worried about the other October Children (they're not kids, that's such an awkward name) and they're not sure how comfortable they are walking around someone else's house with only the owner of the house there, so they just give Stella a cheerful 'night' and head to bed.
So now here they are. Wrapped in a blanket with the lights off and staring at the city lights leaking through the curtains in their room.
Worrying.
A knock on the door, so quiet that if Jesse was asleep they'd never catch it and just keep slumbering. As it is, they almost think they're imagining things for a moment.
Until it comes again.
"Hello?" they call back to the door, Reuben oinking in surprise at the sudden sound from Jesse.
There is a long, long, poignant pause where Jesse's looking at the door and still trying to figure out if they're imagining things, and they've decided it's just their imagination when a voice leaks through.
"May I come in?"
Jesse blinks at the sound of Stella's voice, muffled by the fact that there's a door barring the way between the two of them. "Stella?"
The succubus is quiet for a moment.
Jesse realizes they never answered her question and flail around in the blankets in an attempt to disentangle themselves. "U-uh, yeah. Yeah, you can- you can come in- hang on-"
The door ekes open from the other side, Jesse pausing while tilting halfway out of the bed before plopping to the floor altogether.
Stella gives a soft, vaguely exasperated hum, and Jesse is abruptly being picked up and pushed back into the blankets, the blonde succubus looking faintly amused in the darkness of the room. "You just love falling everywhere, don't you, sweetie."
Jesse's not quite sure how to answer that, so they just give a noncommittal hum. "Are Lukas and Petra back yet? Did they find the others?"
The succubus gives her head a shake, which makes Jesse's heart sink a little bit. "I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't come in here because of that. They're still out looking for the other October Children."
"Oh." Jesse slumps a bit in the bed, blinking at her. "Well... uh... what are you doing in here, then? It's..."
Jesse automatically looks around for a clock. Stella watches them in slight amusement as they search the room, scanning the darkness as if a clock will randomly start glowing, before helpfully adding, "It's 2 in the morning."
"Oh." Jesse pauses. "What're you doing in here at two in the morning, then?"
Stella is silent for a moment, regarding them with red eyes. Jesse blinks back at her rather blankly, feeling their cheeks pink slightly from the attention. They're about to ask again when-
"Can we cuddle?"
Jesse nearly bangs their back into the headboard at the sudden and rather bluntly asked question, blinking at Stella confusedly. "What?"
"Can we cuddle? Snuggle. Hug." Stella shifts, frowning slightly. "Don't think there's more synonyms for it."
The human blinks at her, twisting their fingers absentmindedly as they consider the offer. "Oh."
Well, she was nice enough to let them all stay in her house, and she was kind enough to come in and check on Jesse, and it was just cuddling, it was only a little favor...
It was fine.
"Sure."
Stella's lips part in a strange smile, her head cocking to the side as her red eyes gleam with interest. "Really?"
"Uh-huh..." Jesse hugs the blanket closer to their chest, giving her a little smile. "We can cuddle."
"Alright. Scoot over."
Jesse obediently nudges themselves to their right as they sink back onto the pillows, allowing Stella to clamber onto the bed while Reuben crawls to their feet. It creaks under her weight slightly, her weight being just enough to make Jesse roll slightly back to their left until their shoulders are touching.
Instantly, Stella's hand snakes up their side and pulls them closer, leaving a tingling sensation along Jesse's side until they abruptly find their head buried in her shoulder, their stomachs practically pressing together as she pulls them flush against her body, tangling a hand in their hair as if they're hers.
Jesse's breath catches in surprise at the aggressiveness of the cuddle, but Stella's already resting their chin on their shoulder and pressing her cheek to theirs, fingers tracing up their side and making tingles spread from the spot, over and over and over.
Too close.
Stella hums, voice lowered to a seductive purr as she traces patterns and lines and curves up their side from where they're practically pressing up against her.
They can feel a lock of her hair curled on her shoulder and hear her heartbeat and feel warm skin right up against theirs, mouths and noses close enough that any inhale is her inhale and her exhale is their exhale, breathing mixing together until Jesse can't tell whose is whose and the room feels like it's spinning.
Too intimate.
Jesse tries not to pull away, but they can't help but tense up as she gives a little husky hum, hand still tracing patterns over their pajamas and making little shivers come up their back.
Succubus.
Stella's a succubus.
They don't know why that just now comes into their head.
Trace down their back, tugging at their collar briefly, almost pulling it down slightly, catching briefly on their back, a little light hum sounding from deep in her throat.
Too much.
"Stop! Stop, stop, I-" Jesse chokes out, squeezing their eyes shut tightly so that they see nothing but darkness and feeling tears beginning to leak out of the corners of their eyes. "I don't want to do this anymore!"
They expect Stella to snap that she doesn't care, or purr into their ear that it doesn't matter, aren't they having fun (no), aren't they enjoying this (no no no), don't they want to keep going (no no no please no)
What they don't expect is for the tight grip on them to loosen abruptly before vanishing entirely, leaving their cheek feeling cold all of a sudden, a soft click sounding a moment later and warm light making the inside of their eyelids appear dimly red.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you that uncomfortable."
Jesse shifts around to peek around at Stella, cautiously opening their eyes.
Stella's seated a little further away from them, one arm resting on the bedside table with the redstone lamp on it. Her brow is furrowed with worry and apology as she regards them, loose t-shirt still hanging off of one shoulder. Her hair, somehow, still looks nearly perfect.
"Are you alright?"
Jesse gives a tiny shiver, slowly shifting so that they're also shifting, trembling back resting against the headboard, Stella's red eyes following them worriedly. "I-I'm okay."
The baroness barely relaxes, still frowning worriedly at Jesse. "Sweetheart, you're trembling like a leaf." She taps the corner of her lip, brow furrowing even more. "Are you not comfortable with that sort of thing?"
"... n... not that much..." Jesse's still a little stiff, hands twitching as Reuben noses his way over, oinking in concern. They pull him into their lap, pressing their hands to his head gently as the pig oinks and nuzzles their hands.
Stella winces. "Ah, I'm sorry. I've been doing my best to keep feeding myself regularly, but it gets a bit difficult to do when I only go on inspections and such every once a week."
"... feeding yourself...?" Jesse frowns. "Wait, so... you have sex with people once a week?"
The baroness chokes for a moment, red eyes going from confusion to shock to understanding, before she gives a rather sweet laugh. "Oh, no, no, honey, uh, there'd be a problem with that."
She pauses.
"There would be several problems with that."
Jesse blinks at her. "But you're a succubus-"
"Sweetie, yes, I am a succubus... but not the kind you're thinking of." At Jesse's confused expression, Stella elaborates. "Most succubi are what humans typically think of when they think of succubi- a demon that feeds off of sexual attraction and energy. However, I've got a recessive gene or... something, that makes me able to feed on all types of love, rather than just sexual love."
Jesse blinks again.
"Familial love, romantic love, just... any love in general." Stella presses a hand to her collarbone. "I can feed off of all types of love, rather than limiting myself to just sexual love."
She pauses, before a tiny smile crosses her face. "Which is helpful, as I am demisexual." She doesn't wait for Jesse to look confused and explains it anyway. "I basically don't feel sexual attraction unless I have a strong emotional attachment with that person. I don't like having sex with people I don't know well."
Jesse can feel their shoulders untense slightly, despite the fact that their hands are still trembling. "You don't?"
"No. I tend to go for smaller things that aren't as filling, like kissing... flirting... sometimes considering someone family, but I only really have that rapport with Lluna," Stella muses.
They blink again.
(They tend to blink a lot in response to things.)
"Why don't you try to fill yourself up? If you can take any type of love, then why don't you just eat until you're full?" Jesse pauses, before giving her a tiny, shaky smile. "Uh, with permission."
Stella seems rather received about the smile, even if it is trembly.
"Well... you see, there are a few succubi and incubi like me- they can take in any type of love and not just sexual energy. But, ah, being able to take in all that energy can lead to... taking too much. It's- hm." Stella huffs, looking down at the blanket on the bed and tracing an absentminded pattern on it.
A moment later, she looks back at Jesse. "Alright. Think of it this way. Humans have apple trees, right?"
At Jesse's nod, she continues. "Imagine what you usually do when you want food from the tree- you just pick the apples. This way the apples can grow back later, although it takes a while, and you can walk around and pick as many from as many trees. Right?"
"Right..."
"What succubi that can feed on any type of love do, is that to get the apples, they cut down the entire tree. They take too much, so now while they have, in the short term, a huge food supply, they've lost a future one."
Stella spreads her hands. "They simply take the ability to love from the person and break them beyond repair."
Jesse's eyes widen. "... oh."
"Yes... hence why I tend to avoid feeding so much on people. It's very easy to get carried away, even once one's full." Stella shifts in the bed, tracing the pattern on the bed. "For the most part, I just do some small flirting here and there, or the occasional kissing session, or so on so forth, until I'm satisfied enough to at least not be starving."
"Oh." Jesse considers this, tilting their head. Their hands are still trembling, but it's significantly less so than before. "Is that why Petra doesn't like you? 'Cause you flirt with lots of people?"
"Well, no," Stella cuts herself off, brow furrowing as she ponders the answer to Jesse's question, her expression changing with every thought that arrives.
A minute ticks by. Then two.
Finally, the blonde succubus looks back at Jesse, her expression looking a little apologetically wary.
"Petra may not like me because I had nonconsensual sex with her."
Jesse blinks once at the rather blunt statement.
Then twice.
"What?"
Stella flails her hands at the way Jesse's face drains of color, her own expression becoming even warier. "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to, I swear! What happened was... it was... completely my fault. And I'd apologize for it a thousand times over if Petra so much as was willing to enter the same room alone with me, and it was the first time I've slipped in a long time-"
"Slipped?"
Jesse's trembling again. Reuben noses his way into Jesse's arms more snugly.
Stella takes a deep breath, putting her hands up carefully in surrender. Her expression is now incredibly wary.
She looks as if she's afraid of shattering them.
"Alright. So, I explained how I feed on any type of love, yes?"
Jesse gives a little nod. "Yes..."
"Okay. Now, while normal food does have some effect, it's a very short-term effect, and it's a band-aid on the situation. It doesn't do much to really fix it, but it does keep me from starving to death in a short amount of time, although I eventually have to feed again if I want to stay alive. Occasionally, the need for food will take over, and I will end up doing something incredibly out-of-character."
Jesse's listening. Pale and slightly frightened, but they are listening.
"I have only done so twice in my life. This was the second time. Both times were equally mortifying. Now, if you've been around many incubi or succubi- which you probably haven't- you'll have learned to recognize this effect that succubi naturally emit. They tend to have a sort of mild hypnotic effect, which will make whoever they're speaking to or near much more pliable to any actions that the succubus might take. This effect gets progressively stronger as the succubus gets hungrier."
Jesse thinks they know where this is going, but they listen anyway.
"Now that you have the background information, let me explain what happened. Because of a particularly nasty duel we had in Champion City, I ended up having to do quite a lot of paperwork for two weeks. This meant I was unable to feed at all for the next two weeks, especially because Lluna went wandering off somewhere."
She foresees their question. "Lluna tends to wander around Champion City every once in a while. She smells treasure and... that means she gets sidetracked. Anyhow, I was unable to feed, and was getting progressively hungrier."
Stella gives a long, slow sigh. "And then Petra came in. And it was different, because I was literally starving. I needed to feed at that point. The actual food I was eating was doing little to nothing to keep me from taking everything from someone. And... well, at that point, the charm I emitted was strong to the point where I could've told her to off herself, and she would've done it."
Jesse goes a little paler.
"But I didn't. I didn't do that, because that isn't what I needed. I needed love. And the quickest way to get love is..." Stella pauses, before giving Jesse a little humorless smile. "Well, there's a reason that even the rare succubi are known as demons who lust after sexual energy."
"She agreed. I asked her if she could, and she bent easily and incredibly quickly to it. And I was... fine, afterwards. I didn't fill up all the way, because..." Stella pauses, a look of intense shame coming over her features. "After the immediate need was satisfied, I realized what I'd just done."
The baroness gives a long breath. "And after the charm wore off, she realized too."
Stella glances at Jesse, who's still rather pale. "It was a bad decision on my part. Actually, never mind that, it was a terrible decision on my part. And if I could... I would've found some way to find something to feed on before it would've happened that way."
A rueful smile creeps across her features. "Hindsight is 20-20, as I believe a human saying goes."
"... I see..."
"I'd apologize- I did apologize. But at this point..." Stella gives a regretful shrug. "I don't think she'd believe me. And she'd have every right not to."
She looks back at Jesse, red meeting big green ones. "I won't say that what I did was wrong, because it was. And I won't say that you shouldn't be worried. Because you should be worried about everyone you meet here, considering we're all demons. But I will say that that is not something I would do under any circumstance, and that shouldn't have ever reached that point."
"... okay." Jesse leans the side of their head into her shoulder, ignoring the way she tenses in surprise. "... you won't do it again?"
Stella pauses.
Then looks back at Jesse.
"I am not certain I can say that. But I am certain that I can try my hardest to not allow something as stupid as that to take place again."
The tiny seventeen-year-old lets out a brief breath, edging closer and clutching her t-shirt sleeve tightly with trembling fingers. Reuben remains in their lap, snuffling quietly and giving Stella a wary look. "Okay. If you say that you'll try your best not to, I believe you."
Stella's eyes flicker to them.
"I don't know you very well. But I don't think you're a bad person." Jesse gives her a small smile as they look up at her. "Even if Petra won't let you, though, I think it's worth apologizing again. Or at least show her that you're really sorry."
Slowly, the baroness lets her head slowly tilt until she is resting her cheek on their head.
"... I would be happy to apologize to her."
They want to believe the best of people.
They want to think the best of people, and trust them, and care about them. It's in their nature, just like it's in Stella's nature to have a hypnotic effect around her.
But perhaps that's part of the problem.
Petra's arms are crossed as she rests her head on the wall, listening to the silence through the open-by-a-crack door.
"Petra?"
Her head twists around to see Aiden, rubbing the ice pack that he's holding to his neck along the large bruise. Red eye blinks a few times as he glances at the room, before back at the redheaded half-demon.
"They're asleep?"
Petra shrugs. "I don't really know if they're asleep, but I don't think we should bother them. They'll see you guys are okay in the morning."
And she doesn't want to go into the room with Stella there.
Aiden hums, rubbing the bruise and repressing a small wince. "Hm. True."
Lukas rounds the corner, lips tilting down in a frown at Aiden. "Aiden, be more careful, you're going to spill the ice everywhere... you're lucky you guys just got bruised up."
"You should see the other guy," Aiden replies tartly and quietly, which makes Lukas snort slightly before glancing at Petra.
"Is Jesse asleep?"
The redhead shrugs again. "I think they're either asleep or talking to Stella, but they haven't talked for much, so I'm not really sure."
Aiden rubs his bruise again, wincing. "Oh. You being a creeper and listening in on the entire conversation again?"
Petra huffs and marches over, smacking him right on the bruise. This, of course, makes Aiden hiss angrily and clap a hand to his bruise, red eye flashing at her as he half-mock-glares at her. "Fuck you, you dick. Of course not. I just heard a little bit of it."
And perhaps it's because Lukas is preoccupied with scolding Aiden and Maya and Gill (who has a rather large cut on his shoulder from a bottle and Maya is currently stabbing it with a cotton ball and some very strong alcohol that Petra personally thinks tastes great and Lukas thinks it could strip paint) like a mother hen, but he doesn't catch her out on her fib.
No.
No, she didn't just hear a little bit.
She heard Stella's whole confession.
And it's not acceptable. It's not something Petra can just forgive and forget. What Stella did isn't something that Petra can just go "oh no worries" and let go.
And from the way that Petra can hear Jesse shaking and trembling through the door, Jesse doesn't feel that way either.
But Jesse seems to be willing to at least forgive, if not forget.
Perhaps that's worth considering.
A/N: Yep, I'm so asexual... the cuddling part where it got a little intimate was just insanely uncomfortable for me to write, for some reason xD It wasn't even THAT bad xD
Ugh. Tests pretty much consumed my past week. I took two tests today for the same teacher and also bruised my ankle. I'm ready for winter break. I'll try to update more now. xD
Nonconsensual sex, by the way, is never okay. Don't get me wrong, Jesse didn't just let it go. But they also believe in second chances for those who deserve it. For those who are really, truly sorry about something they did, who maybe didn't mean to do it, and for someone who will never, never repeat the mistake.
Forgiving is not about forgetting. But a life without forgiving anyone, ever...
You deserve better.
You deserve peace.
And sometimes, that's why you forgive someone.
Responses to reviews!
Toni42: Hehe x3 / Yes, Turtle Jesse xD / Indeed he would. He'd be quite happy, actually xD / It is xD / No, and we found out why.
TheAmberShadow: Yep! / Hehe, yes. / Since he's selling potion ingredients and not pork, he's not going to care about a pig. Also, Cosmos animals can actually be poisonous in some cases. / Petra hates clothes shopping, and there's also a law in Champion City that would make it easier to keep watch and keep Jesse safe from outside the store than if they entered with them. / No. Stella actually does weekly inspections of inventory and such; partially because some stores do actually get a wide variety of materials, but also because of the reasons listed in the chapter.
Darkbeast Dend: Because Stella actually has some semblance of self-control. xD
LegendEmpress: Pft, that's pretty much a good summary. / Lore. I like worldbuilding more than I expected. I should've really put a 'I'm looking forward to it but also terrified' since writing it was such a pain xD / It's really not that complicated; the world also picks barons, and Stella was mostly the best demon for the job. / Thank you!
Savannah-the-Caracal: He has abysmal handwriting. / Eh xD / Also, don't use useful... PAMA will get you :3 Just kidding. PAMA won't get you. xD
That's all for now! See ya, so long, and g'bye!
x.X. A.L. X.x
