DPOV

I felt like I'm going to kill myself. Actually killing myself would've been greater than this. I was the only person she got involved with and now I'm breaking her. I have to tell her. I have to tell her about my decision. Why did I start this in the first place knowing that this would happen? Yes because I wanted this. Her. I should've been able to stop myself at first without doing this to her.

How am I going to tell her this? Rose, we can't do this I'm choosing my crown over you. God, how can I tell her without killing her inside? But I have to. She will understand. She will understand this. She can move on. She can find someone who loves her. With time she'll heal. Rose is tough and strong. She'll understand.

Taking a deep breath I knocked on her door. I heard her opening the door. As she opened the door I went inside.

"So?" She asked me.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I told her unable to tell anything else.

"Why?" She asked me. One look at her eyes told me that she knows what's happening but she wants to hear it.

"I... I couldn't find a way. There's no other way." her face broke.

"So what are you going to do?" She asked me.

"I... I think we should go on different paths. We should end this." Her jaw touched the ground. She took a deep breath.

"Just a week ago you were lying on my bed kissing the life out of me and now you're ending this? How... how could you?" She asked me.

"Rose, This is hard for me too. I'm sorry. But I don't want you to suffer from anything in the future just because of me. You worked your entire life to be a guardian. And just when you became one I don't want you to give it up for me. We don't have any other ways. I'm sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am but I hope that you'll understand. One day you can find someone even better than me." She laughed at the end.

"Wow! You planned my entire life, haven't you? But what about what I want? I wanted to be yours. I wanted you to be mine." She told me. I looked down.

"I'm sorry. But we have to stop this. So we are done, Rose. I'm sorry. Please understand. This way you can be happy one day. You might not see this now but you will. I will forgive myself for this but I hope one day I hope that you will."

After telling those words I left her. I could feel a burning sensation inside me. I felt like my heart is ripping into pieces.

I fucking hate myself.

...

Two weeks later

After discussing with my family they started finding a suitable princess for me. I didn't talk much with them about that. How can I? I haven't seen her for a week. She didn't come to practice. She practised alone. And I gave her the privacy that she wanted.

After discussing for days my family and I came to one decision.

Princess Natasha Ozera.

Christian's aunt. We knew each other since childhood. She's only a few years elder than me. She's wise, beautiful and strong. She took care of Christian after his parents died. We are good friends. I will never be able to love her. But with our friends, we can work it out. After we sent an invitation to her she agreed too.

This is for the kingdom.

This is not for you.

I kept reminding myself. Soon enough it was the day she arrived. She arrived in the morning. We all were present there when she arrived. Yes, even Rose. I couldn't look at her.

She was there with that hard expression on her face in the front as an official guardian.

When Tasha arrived Christian and I went to help her.

"Christian" She called him and hugged him.

"Princess Ozera" I took her hand and kissed the top of it.

"Your majesty," She showed curtsy and I nodded.

"It's an honour to be here in your country." She told me. I smiled.

"Honor is all mine. You look dashing as always." I told her and she smiled.

"Let's go inside," Christian told and we nodded.

When we went inside my family members hugged him.

"Natasha, it's so nice to see you after all this time," Mama told her while hugging her.

"Same to me. I missed the cold breeze here." She told and mama laughed.

"You must be tired. Please do rest, Natasha. We'll see you at the evening ball. You can meet Princess Vasilissa and her Guardian, Rose Hathaway then." Mama told her.

"Oh, Christian wrote about them to me. I do look forward to it." She told and smiled. And mama nodded.

"Dimitri, please show Natasha her room." I nodded.

"Please come, princess," I told her.

"You look lovely," I told her while walking.

"And you look good too. So how have you been Dimka? Everything's fine?" She asked me.

"Yes, everything's fine."

"Christian told me about Lissa. How's she?" She asked me.

"She's good. Not a bad or spoiled princess." She laughed at my comment.

"About her guardian, I heard that she is a pretty strong one?" I nodded.

"She is. She's willing to do anything for the princess."I told her.

"I'm looking forward to meeting her." I smiled.

"Here we are. Please rest Tasha. I'll see you at the evening ball." I told her. and she smiled. I turned around to leave.

"Dimka?" I looked at her once again.

"Yes?"

"I'm glad that this is happening between us." She told and went inside.

I didn't know what to think about that.

...

At the ball

"you look beautiful," I told Tasha. She was wearing a red ball gown.

"Thank you. This looks amazing," she told me eying the ball.

"Our pleasure," I told her.

"Do where is Princess Vasilissa?" She asked me.

"She must be coming with Christian," I told her. "Oh, there she is." I showed her. Lissa was looking beautiful.

"Your majesties." She showed her curtsy towards us.

"Oh my god! You're more beautiful than Christian described you." Lissa blushed at her comment.

"Thank you, your majesty. Christian told a lot about you to me." She told her.

"I hope that all of them are good. Anyway, can I meet your Guardian?" She asked her.

No please no.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. She's guarding outside. But you can meet her tomorrow." She told her.

Outside?

"Oh, that's alright." They started talking. I excused them and went to take a drink.

"So you threw her away huh?" I heard a voice. I turned around and saw

Adrian?

"What?" I asked him.

"Rose. You threw her away like a used paper." I looked at him. Did he know?

"I didn't throw her away Adrian. It's for the best for both of us. And how do you know about that?" I asked him.

"I'm a spirit user Dimitri. I can't heal like Lissa but I can see auras. And I don't think you did it for both of you. Or if you cared about her you wouldn't start that in the first place." He told me.

"Look Adrian think whatever you want. But I am the king of Russia. There are more than 50000 people in my country. I have to think about them too." I told him and left.

Fuck!

...

After the ball

I went to the stable to take a few deep breaths. I closed my eyes.

"So this was your plan huh?" I heard the voice I didn't want to hear. I turned around and saw Rose.

"Why did you take the outside shift?" I asked her ignoring her question.

"So I don't have to see you with her." She replied.

"Seriously?" I asked her. She nodded and stared at me for a minute.

"What?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"You are a fucking liar." She told me. Whoa.

"What did you just say?" I asked her getting angry. I did love her. I still do.

"You fucking lied to me. You knew about me. You knew about my feelings but you fucking used me. You didn't care about how I'd feel. You lied to me. You are a FUCKING LIAR!"

Okay, enough is enough.

"ENOUGH!" I yelled at her. She looked surprised.

"Yes, I did a fucking mistake. Yes, I didn't think about what could've happened. But I didn't use you, Rose." She looked like she can murder me.

"Oh yes? Then what did you do? Huh? If it's not using then what is it? Don't come up with reasons Dimitri. You have no right to get angry. You are a mother fucking shitty..."

"YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!" I yelled at her. How could she? Yes, I am a fucked up person but why can't she see that I'm doing this for both of us.

"What?" She asked me.

"Did you forget Guardian Hathaway? That I am a king? That you should not speak to me like that? That you are no one compared to me? That you are nothing but a guardian?"

Her shocked expression, combined with the tears forming in her eyes made me realize how much I hurt her by those words. I also remembered something. Something else I told her the very first day I kissed her.

"You're not just a guardian to me," I told her those words that day and she cried because no one has ever told those words to her.

I instantly regretted what I told her. I wanted to take back them. When one tear rolled down her cheek I saw how much I've hurt her by them.

"Rose" I tried to talk. But I didn't know what to tell her. But before I could tell anything else she shook her head looking down and wiped her tears. She turned around and left. Just when she reached the gate she looked at me.

"You are a liar. Your majesty! And I'm so sorry what I told you." With that, she left.

...

Told you that you can hate me later. But for anyone who has a problem with Dimitri's way and with his decisions I just have to say that this is an old story. He is a king. So his country and crown come first. Or at least he thinks like that.

Also, there's more to hate me.