THREE
"Finé?" she repeats in a whisper. She can hardly hear over her heart pounding in her chest (where-where-where), but Tsubasa's vice grip on her hand lets her shove her panic aside in order to be angry, angry enough for both of them. "You knew Finé was in the country and you didn't warn us? You didn't think to mention that she's my daughter's godmother?"
(Finé died. Didn't she?)
Genjuurou doesn't say anything. His posture is straight, his shoulders are square, but his tie is crumpled, hair spiked in every direction, frown heavy and tired. He doesn't get to be tired, not when Elfnein is who-knows-where with that, that—
(Who was Finé? The older Maria gets, the less she knows who the adults of her youth were.)
No one says anything. She whirls around, accidentally rips her hand from Tsubasa's grip. Heavy weights compress her lungs, she paces, and her mind asks over and over: where is my daughter?
She turns again and sees Hibiki, crumpled. Guilty-guilty-guilty while Elfnein is not here.
Something hot blooms in her throat.
"This is your—"
"—Stop." Miku steps in front of Hibiki even as Hibiki crumples further.
Tsubasa pulls her arm (for the second time, she belatedly realizes), murmurs, "The children, Maria," and gestures to the main monitor while retaking her hand. "Finé's note gives us a clue to their whereabouts," Tsubasa says in a louder voice. Tsubasa's strong, calm voice catches the tatters of Maria's concentration.
Stop.
The children.
Elfnein isn't the only child missing, and she and Tsubasa aren't the only desperate parents; disgust for her selfishness roils in her throat for a moment, then she squeezes Tsubasa's hand. Nothing matters except retrieving their children, safe and sound.
"How?" she asks. Her voice cracks.
"She mentions that the last time she had a child in her care, Chris was twelve years old. She said it makes her nostalgic," Genjuurou highlights in a subdued voice. "They stayed in Ryouko's family house. Ogawa and his agents are on their way to scope out the area."
"We're lucky," Aoi adds, manages a weak smile, "Finé transferred ownership of it to Chris."
A location.
Elfnein must be there, with Finé, right now.
(Impossible. Elfnein can't be there, with Finé, right now. It's impossible.)
(Who was Finé?)
"Maria." Tsubasa's hand arrests her movement; it's then that she realizes she's turned to the door.
"What, Tsubasa? We've got to get our daughter! She tries to tug her shoulder out of Tsubasa's grasp, but Tsubasa's grip is adamant this time. She turns to the others for support—Genjuurou has a similar hold on Hibiki while Chris, Kirika, and Shirabe avoid her gaze. Aoi and Sakuya give her sympathetic looks.
"What are you waiting for?!" Chris was twelve years old in Ryouko's family house with Finé—Finé's alive—Elfnein is with Finé—"Every second we waste here is a second Elfnein has to endure Finé! We have to go!" Tsubasa doesn't budge.
Only Miku answers: "You're a civilian now, Maria."
You're a civilian now, Maria. Civilian?
When the meaning of that sentence hits her, she jerks toward Genjuurou so quickly that she drags Tsubasa along. He won't keep her from rescuing her daughter, this isn't a mission, it hasn't even been that long!
"I will not return without the children," is all Genjuurou has to say. Then, he strides quickly toward the exit, the non-civilians following hastily.
She finds her voice, shouts "Genjuurou!" and strains against both of Tsubasa's hands on her shoulders, but it's too late. It's too late. Her daughter is out there while Maria's stuck here.
"We're not field agents anymore, Maria. We aren't agents at all." Tsubasa crushes her into a hug; it does little to comfort her or to muffle her heaving sobs.
Useless-useless-useless. She's stuck here, a useless civilian, while Elfnein is somewhere else, right now, with Finé. She's failed so many people so many times but this just takes the cake—this is unforgiveable. She's so. Damn. Useless.
"Breathe, Maria," someone tells her. It's barely comprehensible past the ringing in her ears.
Great, she can't even do that right. She's here, breaking down, while her daughter is out there, right now, with Finé (which is still impossible, inexplicable, inconceivable).
"Please, Maria. We must endure while we tru-st—" Tsubasa's voice breaks in the middle of 'trust.'
That break, somehow, comforts her more than Tsubasa's words. They're both breaking, they both failed, and they're both stuck here, waiting.
She returns Tsubasa's fierce embrace.
a/n:
Ahhh, winter quarter starts tomorrow. I'm sure school will bring me down once again. Hopefully, this story will reach a timely conclusion.
