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"There is at least one thing worse than fighting with allies – And that is to fight without them."
-Winston Churchill
Chapter 14: The Mad Hatter's Tea Party
The double doors at the end of the grand hall opened and closed letting the party of four exit Queen Elizabeth's throne room. And as they were leaving the building proper Nashville spoke up, "I know that we already know everyone else's names here, but I still want to say that it's nice to meet y'all."
"'Tis a pleasure indeed," replied the one called, "Duke of York." Commander saw that she looked similar to Prince of Wales except Duke of York favored a darker color scheme of red and black instead of red and white. She also showed more skin than Prince of Wales, her jacket allowing a good view into her cleavage. Her hair was pink, and it failed to conceal pointed elf-like ears. He had several questions. But he kept them to himself.
"I agree with Lady Duke of York. It's an honor to meet you," echoed Sirius. Commander now got a good look at Sirius. Her own attire wouldn't be out of place for a modern take on a Victorian maid, but it, like Duke of York's jacket, exposed much of her own cleavage—which was considerable—to the open air. And it all stood in contrast to her white hair and crimson eyes. She looked familiar for some reason, but Commander let it be.
"That leaves me," said Las Vegas, "I second what Nashville said. It's nice to meet you. And if the two of you don't mind, I have a few questions."
"Prithee, make thy questions known," said Duke of York.
"Un huh," said Commander, perplexed. "I hate to begin on a more personal note but why do you speak like that?"
"Such manner of speech fills me with glee, and seemeth me good."
"More power to you," he replied, "But how often are you not understood?"
"With lesser frequency as time wastes."
By now they were leaving Queen Elizabeth's palace to find cloudy skies. Once they were all outside Commander was able to give his response. "I can follow you well enough."
Nashville meanwhile leaned over a bit to Sirius and asked, "How long did it take you to understand?"
"Truthfully. Only about a week," responded the maid in their midst.
"Well, that's a comfort." Nashville was genuinely relieved. Every time Duke of York opened her mouth her vocalizations lagged in their transition into coherent words for a few seconds to the light cruiser.
But the attentions of the four converged when Duke of York asked Commander, "What thinkest thou of thy new moniker?"
Commander thought for a few moments as the trio of ship girls remained silent. He said, "I was only called, 'Jack,' in passing for the first time about a half hour ago, and then ten minutes ago I was named for a pirate from the golden age of piracy." He paused and then said, "I'm no pirate. But I have to acknowledge; it was a good insult. Because while there were successful pirates like Blackbeard in the West Indies, Calico Jack was not one of them. His reputation was tarnished by being cowardly and not very smart. His success and fame came from the company he kept in his final days as a pirate. Two women. Their names escape me at the moment, and I don't know much more of his story other than he lost his final battle with pirate hunters without much violence and was hung not long after. But hey, if he's not using it, I guess I can try and do something with his name."
"If you'll pardon my intrusion," started Sirius, "You do not seem all too bothered being labelled something as shameful as a pirate."
"I could jump up and down. I could grit my teeth and yell, "Am not!" repeatedly. But that would only validate the insult. I'd rather prove it wrong."
Duke of York giggled for a moment. Then she said, "Rather, thou felt to quote Shakespeare."
"I thought it was pretty cool," justified the codebreaker.
"So did I," agreed Nashville. She also thought that the queen's face was priceless, but she didn't want to risk upsetting the maid nor the knight, especially when both have swords.
"For the sake of Her Majesty, I have no comment," replied Sirius.
"I stand abreast with Sirius," added Duke of York.
"Fair enough," conceded Las Vegas, "But anyway, could you two please educate me as to what your duties are here in port?" This was a part of Las Vegas's curiosity concerning the functional purposes of a knight or why a maid would be openly armed with a great sword.
"Mayhaps mine elder sister, Prince of Wales, has spoken concerning the duties of a knight in the service to Her Majesty?"
"Prince of Wales mentioned leading in battle but nothing else," he recalled.
"I have said that we serve Her Majesty," said Duke of York, "But we are called in a calling most divine—to serve all who stand in need. Be they sailors, our countrymen and allies, or our fellow ship girls. By chivalry and honor we at times lead in the absence of the Queen or her peerage."
"Interesting," he said, now having had knight justified to himself. But then some insight struck him, "I don't suppose that you and your order would be the first line of defense against the likes of Commodore Smithers?"
"Thou hast said it. We alongside the Royal Maid Corps remain ever vigilant for any threat."
"Royal Maid Corps?" Nashville asked slowly.
Duke of York looked over to Sirius, and she motioned for her to speak. It then became clear why Sirius was mainly silent for this conversation thus far. Difference in social rank. His knee jerk reaction was to condemn such a practice that apparently limited one's lot in life. But on second thought, Commander felt like he didn't know enough of the story around the organization of the ship girls of the Royal Navy to judge if he liked this deference or not. So, he'd let the question float in the air until he has enough information and let them live as they see fit.
Sirius began to explain her own job in the Royal Maid Corps. "As a maid to Her Majesty I tend to all the duties befitting a maid, though I'm not very good at it. But the Royal Maid Corps serves as Her Majesty's eyes and ears wherever they are needed."
Commander sparked with recognition. "I've heard stories of the SAS and the British Commandos. Are you like them?"
Sirius didn't want to answer that question directly because well, the point of secret agents is to be a secret. But Duke of York didn't detect that answering such a question would prove deleterious to Her Majesty or the causes that she champions. Besides, Duke of York considered herself a skilled at reading people, and she could tell that this man didn't mean any harm, so she answered for the maid, "Verily, 'tis the case. And further, to my eyes, none better exist. Save perhaps one or two Sakura ninja."
They continued speaking as they walked, and the heroes were effectively introduced to the Royal Navy. By the time this explanation had finished the party was reaching a section of the base that was obscured from the docks by thick groves of trees. It looked like a village. But the path they were on broke out into a plaza that had dozens of women milling about socializing, buying things, or simply enjoying the day. Despite the day being overcast Commander quite enjoyed the pleasant atmosphere. They crossed the plaza, and a few people greeted the group and wished welcome to the foreigners. But what was most surprising that despite having only been given it a short time ago, Commander was already being addressed as, "Calico Jack." Word spread fast. But how? Commander didn't have any evidence to implicate anybody of spreading his new name around, but something told him that it was a pithy attempt by Smithers to undermine him with accusations of piracy. If it was Smithers, his plan backfired, because tale—and curiosity—was already spreading about an Eagle Union officer that has been dubbed, "Calico Jack."
They stopped outside of an open-air café and Duke of York pointed to a table in one of the corners of the eating area. Commander traced the line that Duke of York's finger made to go to a table occupied by two ship girls. One had violet hair and looked to be about thirteen. The other had pink hair and seemed to be a year or two violet's junior. A thought occurred to him. Do ship girls age? How do they measure their age? Whelp. The world may never know because even with how bad he is at handling women he knew that it was frowned upon to ask a woman's age. Nevertheless, he caught the words of Duke of York pointing out Javelin and her sister, Juno.
Nashville patted him on the back and said, "I think you should take this one alone Commander." Nashville had meant to put Las Vegas a little out of his comfort zone to hopefully help him with meeting people and being able to read social situations. Was it throwing him in the deep end? She didn't think so. What's the worst that a destroyer ship girl can do? Oh right. Snap him in half. Wait. Why was Nashville okay with this? Talking to another ship girl? She wasn't okay with him being alone with Nevada or Hornet. She thought that it was all ship girls. Why not this, "Javelin?" What made Javelin special? Or what made Nevada and Hornet special? She'd have to think on this and right now seems like an ideal time. She was sure that Las Vegas would be okay.
Commander initially didn't want to, fearful to make a fool of himself. But then he remembered what he had said to Nashville the day they were going to meet whichever of her sisters was at South Point, "Just be yourself." Okay. Easy enough. He learned over just the past few weeks that he was surprisingly courageous when it came down to it. Time to be that version of himself. And besides, Javelin looked friendly. He entered the eating area after saying something mindless like, "okay," to Nashville's sentence. He walked towards the corner, but he found that the growing number of eyes on him made this much harder. Murmurs of Calico Jack reached his ears. Maybe Queen Elizabeth won that conversation after all.
Javelin and Juno looked his way as he got closer and the pinkette muttered something to her violet-haired sister. That didn't help him. He got next to their table and he remembered how it works with him. Only the first few words are hard. He just had to state his business, "I'm sorry to bother you but I'm looking for Javelin. I was pointed to this table."
The violet-haired sister spoke up and said, "I'm Javelin. What can I do for you Cal- Commander?"
Commander caught how she stopped herself from calling him by his new name. He appreciated it and as cruel as it was, him seeing her in discomfort made him feel just a little bit better. Misery is best taken in pairs as they say. Still, it's best to not let this moment last. He decided to get right down to business, and ignore her near slip-up, "Are you friends with an Eagle Union Destroyer named, 'Laffey?'"
Javelin perked up in an instant and her embarrassment was forgotten. She stood up and half shouted out of excitement, "Yeah I'm Laffey's friend! How's she doing?! Is she okay?!"
Now with something to focus on other than everyone around them Commander was able to speak and interact more naturally. "Whoa there, Javelin. I'll tell you all I know."
Javelin calmed down as requested and she sat back down. Las Vegas smiled and said, "Last I checked a week ago, Laffey was just fine. And once she heard that I was coming this direction, she asked me to deliver this to you." He took out the letter for Javelin and passed it to her. And instead of snatching it out of his grasp like he expected Javelin moved slowly, like she had never expected this day to come. But eventually it was completely in her grasp. Javelin wasn't the type of person patient enough to stow it away to read later so she had already slid one of her fingernails under the envelope's flap and promptly made little progress, probably an effort to be careful with the contents. If she was that excited, he produced his knife from his pocket and held it out to her still folded, "I can tell that you're excited. So here. Just don't cut yourself."
"Thank you, Commander!" The envelope was open in no time at all and the knife was returned to him so that he could replace it in his pocket.
Before Javelin could get started reading, he dismissed himself by saying, "I'm sorry again for bothering you. But have a wonderful day, the both of you." And her turned to leave.
But Javelin called out to him, "Wait!"
He turned back around. She was standing up. He saw that she had tears in her eyes. She approached him and looked him in the eye then said, "Thank you so much Commander. I haven't heard anything from Laffey in years, not since the last war with the Crimson Axis ended." Then Javelin surprised him by asking, "I know that we just met but…C-C-Can I give you a hug? As thanks?"
Commander gave a smile that won Javelin over. He held out his arms just a little to accept the request. So, she crossed the short distance quickly and threw her arms around him. She was almost the same height as Laffey, but a small crown was in his direct sight instead of false bunny ears. It was quick and she broke off the hug to step back. But now she had a curious look on her face, "Is it okay if I call you, 'Calico Jack?' I mean, it was the Queen's decree. But are you okay with it?"
So, it wasn't Smithers trying to undermine him. It was just curiosity about an Eagle Union Officer suddenly given a name meant to be offensive. Decrees from the queen spread very quickly, it seemed. He responded, "I'm okay with it."
"Well, that's good!" said the destroyer happily. He appreciated her positivity, it made him feel better about the whole thing.
Commander could see that her excitement was building by the second to read her letter, so he dismissed her by saying, "I'm going to let you get to your letter. But it was nice meeting you, Javelin," and he looked up to Juno who was still sitting. She shrank under his gaze. "Have a good one," he directed toward both sisters.
"Bye, Calico Jack. I hope you have a great day." Javelin went to sit back down with her sister while Commander exited the café now relieved that he no longer had to be the center of attention.
Duke of York was smiling. Sirius looked more at ease. While Nashville looked deep in thought. Hold on a second. Back up. Duke of York's smiling showed a pair of canine teeth that gave him a flashback to when he got his current mission. He heard Hara's voice clearly say, "…and others invoke vampires or other sources of literature…"
So, Duke of York is a vampire. He'd never heard of pointy-eared vampires before. Oh well. He'll roll with it. But he wasn't too concerned with this new information. This was due to the fact that Commander actually paid attention to the monster story cliches. For example, in the first few chapters of Dracula the locals are terrified of the Count Dracula's castle, therefore when the locals are scared there is at least reason to be cautious. Another example would be, "That weird noise is never, 'just the wind.'" But nonetheless, nobody seemed afraid of Duke of York, so why should he?
He arrived at the group and said, "Well, my business here is complete. We should get going for the tea party."
"As thou wishes," replied Duke of York.
They got moving for Queen Elizabeth's favorite tea spot.
XXXXXXXX
It could be said that the English Eccentric was a dying breed. But so long as Cheshire lived, they wouldn't go extinct. Due to her free-spirited nature, Cheshire didn't commit to much of anything. At times she seems interested of being a maid or in undertaking other tasks, and at other times, long periods of lazing about sounds much more pleasant. But could anyone blame her? Cats are like that. Now was one such time of lazing. So, here she found herself enjoying a bench along the outside of the main plaza as it sat in the shade. She felt to, "cat-ch," some sleep but then her disposition suddenly changed. She stood and started to walk around to see if there was anything to catch her interest. Oooohhh! She'll look for that, "Calico Jack!" What a great idea! He has, "Calico," in his name! Like the cat! They'll be the best of friends! She was of course ignorant to the fact that the original Calico Jack was so named for the calico fabric that made up his clothing.
Too bad she didn't know where to look. Well, starting in the plaza was a good as anywhere, so she got on her way. As she walked, she would at times skip, or she would jog, or she would even walk backwards momentarily to look behind her in her search for her would-be friend. Or maybe he could be her owner? Because the commodore made a terrible owner. He never wanted to play the games that she wanted to play. The others explained the kinds of games he wanted to play. She even understood the meaning behind them, and how he didn't feel anything legitimate for the ship girl. Being unloved by the one wanting to play those games made her sad, so she didn't play with him. And well, he made her want to stay a stray, but not permanently, she needed to find an owner at some point.
Commander was doing his usual affair of keeping his head on a swivel to try and spot anything interesting. He wasn't too shocked with what he saw. Based on empirical evidence, this was a small town constructed exclusively for the ship girls of HMNB Devonport. There were probably about fifty ship girls milling around, doing their own shopping, or just enjoying the presence of friends. He wouldn't have thought anything was different than a normal shopping plaza if it weren't for the absence of men or the really colorful hair and some frankly outlandish stylistic choices.
The cosmos then decided that now was the time for the cliché of the ages. Commander noticed about fifteen or so steps ahead of them a ship girl with a large bow on her head that invoked thoughts of cat ears. She had on a long white skirt with a black over garment that hugged her frame around her torso and down to where a normal short skirt would end. There was frilly embroidery everywhere. He couldn't comment on her appearance further because even though she was quickly walking in his direction, her back was to him. The reason why was probably beyond his understanding. He saw the possibility of trouble a mile away and prepared to leap into action if something happened.
Cheshire liked all sorts of different things and she could spend hours listing them all to anybody willing to listen but falling wasn't one of them. She didn't see it—it wouldn't have happened if she did—but she felt the heel of one of her shoes catch just right in a crack in the concrete she was walking on. Another thing she didn't like was the belief that cats always land on their feet. Because that wasn't always true with her. She began to fall.
But she didn't fall all the way. After she had braced herself for a solid conk on the concrete an arm wrapped around her back at the height of her shoulders and another wrapped around her front at the height of her waist. Her fall was broken and just as she realized that she was fine she looked up to see a man that she hadn't met before. He had deep green eyes and brown hair and to her he was so much better to look at than Commodore Smithers.
Las Vegas got a better look at the falling woman. Her hair was black with teal streaks in it. Her eyes were likewise teal. And just like. Every. Single. Ship girl. That he'd seen. She was very attractive. But her attire from the back didn't reflect what was up front. She had a large amount of cleavage on display—and a lot to display—and her skirt was only long in the back. His eyes rapidly shifted back to her own and he asked, "Are you okay, miss?"
And so, thanks to a cliché as old as time, the heart of a normally fickle cat-like woman was captured by a pirate. Whether it be attributed to accident, cosmic coincidence, divine providence, or lack of authorial inspiration, it could be said that this was Calico Jack's first act of piracy. Who knew if it would be his last? But he didn't mean anything by it. He was just trying to help. He knew about the cliché of the falling woman falling for the catching man and surely this woman knew it too. Hopefully, this will be able to end without anything like that happening. An enormous smile spread across Cheshire's face and she asked, "You're Calico Jack, right?"
"Yeah," Commander replied plainly.
"Will you be my owner?"
"Say wut?"
"Will you be my owner?" Cheshire repeated.
Something like that just happened. And it made Commander's rational brain go out on holiday and that left an awkward child, turned awkward teen, turned awkward man to experience his mind go into the gutter faster than the speed of light. It seemed this woman was into kinky stuff. But he wasn't, and he had no idea whatsoever how to proceed with this.
Sirius bailed him out by interrupting his internal crisis. "What Cheshire means by owner, Mr. Calico Jack, is that she wants you to be her friend."
An owner is so much more than a friend and Cheshire was going to set the record straight but Commander jumped on Sirius's words. He hurriedly said, "Oh okay then. I'd love to be your friend. But Miss Cheshire, let's get you standing."
He helped her stand up and he took a step back to assume a respectable distance, but Cheshire followed him for that step and threw her own arms around him. Being so blindsided, Commander didn't return the hug for a few seconds. But once he returned it gingerly and more as a move to get her satisfied enough to move on, he caught her humming. It struck him. The name, "Cheshire," the bow that looks like cat ears, the purr-like humming. Cheshire as in the Cheshire Cat. She saw herself as a cat. As odd as that sounded, that was the only explanation.
Commander found his words again. "I appreciate the affection, Miss Cheshire. But could you please let me go?"
Cheshire didn't want to. She finally found her owner after her three years of being more than a figment of someone's imagination. She wanted to smile with someone, preferably her owner, and not fade away to leave only her smile like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. Even worse would be if everyone else's smiles were all that was left when they faded away.
"Cheshire, are you okay?" she heard Calico Jack ask. Nobody asked her that. She was meant to fight the Sirens from the beginning of her conception. She was stronger, tougher, and more powerful than most ship girls. So, nobody ever asked her if she was okay. They didn't even really like her. They just tolerated her cat-like tendencies for her skills in a fight. It looked like her owner was different. She made a good choice in owners. That made her happy.
But she knew that people didn't like it when she didn't respond to them, so she said, "I am now." She released him and stepped back from him. She held her hands behind her back and observed, "You're really nice, Calico Jack. Can we play?"
"Play?" asked Commander, now confused, and somewhat fearful for what it may entail. He was still convinced that Cheshire was into kinky stuff. But there was nothing to fear, for Cheshire had the purest of intentions.
Duke of York finally contributed to the encounter, "She is desirous that thou wouldst pass time in her company."
Cheshire liked Duke of York. She was sharper than most gave her credit for. And even if she talked funny, she made more sense than a lot of other people a lot of the time. And this time, an onlooker was correct. Mostly. Commander now understood Cheshire's desires as wanting to hang out as friends without any sort of strings attached, namely kinky ones. But Cheshire was really asking him out on a date.
"Yeah, sure, we could do that sometime. But not right now though. We have to go to the queen."
Cheshire deflated and sighed, "Oh. Okay then."
"Don't look so down. Me and Nashville aren't going anywhere in a hurry."
Nashville? Cheshire looked to the last ship girl that she didn't recognize. Cheshire thought that she was pretty. But she immediately after noticed that Nashville looked very angry. Was Calico Jack already her owner? Cheshire understood that it was normal for an owner to only own one cat at a time. But if Nashville already considered Calico Jack her owner, did that mean that he didn't know it? Cheshire had a feeling that this was the case, so if she does things right, Calico Jack can be her exclusive owner. Or maybe an owner can have more than one cat? She'd rather do that because she didn't have anything against Nashville, and she understood how terrible it was to not have an owner, but she'd have to look into this. So, if they could both share an owner, she'd be okay with that. Having concluded her thoughts, Cheshire bade the visitors farewell and went on her way. She hummed happily as she went.
As the journey to the queen resumed, Nashville had a bit of a breakthrough. And as much as she hated Cheshire for even touching her commander, she had to thank her for helping her find the right direction for her debacle. Whatever she was feeling happened whenever a more mature looking woman got friendly with Las Vegas. But her understanding of her situation ended there. She still didn't know what she was feeling or what it meant. She just could finally nail down what caused it. She'd have to be careful. Especially around Cheshire. Because Las Vegas was her commander. And nobody else's.
XXXXXXXX
The walk to Queen Elizabeth's favorite tea spot was uneventful and conversation was light. Commander had expected that the location of the tea party would be inside Elizabeth's "palace," but that was not the case. While Duke of York and Sirius did indeed lead the duo back in the general direction from whence they came, as they were a few minutes from the building Duke of York veered off the main fairway to a pathway that led up a small hill and into another grove of trees. The path seemed to carry on for a while and eventually the trees cleared to reveal a large circular gazebo with a circular table in the center.
Commander noticed Sirius left the group to join a duo of maids off to the side as they stood vigilant along a tea cart. As Duke of York led the last few steps into the covered area, Commander was able to take stock of the four ship girls present. As expected, Queen Elizabeth was already seated and waiting patiently. She pulled off not looking so judgmental this time around. He was grateful for that. To Queen Elizabeth's immediate right was seated a blue-dressed woman with a shawl that looked like a Union Jack flag. She had pristine golden-blonde hair that was styled to go over her right shoulder. Her sparkling blue eyes appraised Commander curiously. And to Goldilocks's own right sat another woman with white hair and adorned in the same color, but immediately apparent was easily the largest bosom that Commander had seen in his entire life. Most men would be aroused at such a sight. But the awkward geek from Las Vegas was intimidated by it. Her smile seemed friendly and personable, like if under any other circumstances he would trust her in an instant. Finally, he diverted his attention to Elizabeth's left were sat Prince of Wales. To Wales's left was another seat for presumably Duke of York, which left the other two for the visitors.
"It is wonderful to see you again, Calico Jack," opened Queen Elizabeth, "Take a seat."
The maids advanced up a narrower entrance to the side to pull out the seats of the three newcomers. Sirius drew Duke of York's seat. A slighter looking maid with her hair obscuring one of her eyes in the most traditional looking Victorian Maid Uniform that he had seen so far pulled out the seat next to the woman in white and motioned to Nashville. It was the maid that pulled out Commander's seat that was most striking. Her dress featured a large apron from her waist down and she displayed a large amount of cleavage, showing that she wasn't lacking in the slightest degree when it comes to bust size. But when the white-haired beauty's silvery eyes met Commander's he could see something that shook him to his core. She was analyzing him like a specimen tied down to an observation table. She was anticipating any possible move that he might make under who knows how many conditions. Commander was wary of Queen Elizabeth for her authority and her cunning. He was polite to all others that he had met in Devonport so far because that is who he is. Except Commodore Smithers of course. But this woman? She was dangerous. The most classic femme fatale and easily the most terrifying ship girl that he had met yet. Commander donned a poker face that would make the most professional of Las Vegas's gambling population proud. Commander thanked her quietly as he sat down.
Only now did Commander address Queen Elizabeth, "We would like to again thank Your Majesty's generosity in permitting my request from earlier and for inviting us."
"But of course," replied the Queen. "Such a course of action was a given after the performance you put on with Commodore Smithers."
"And I'd say that my course of action with the commodore was a given after his own performance, or lack thereof."
"Well said," acknowledged Elizabeth. And then she said, "You strike me as the type that would prefer to get down to business immediately however I insist that we precede business with pleasantry and light conversation while tea is being served."
Commander got ready for verbal chess all over again because he saw that this was a move to try and glean information from the officer. But he was confident in his abilities to discern. He figuratively drew his sword for the duel by saying, "Very well. But I request that introductions be made."
"Certainly." She motioned to her right towards Goldilocks.
She opened her mouth and with a silky-smooth voice she introduced herself, "Greetings and well met. I am the glory of the Royal Navy: Hood. Wherever I go, victory follows." Well, there's two of the three Royal Navy ships that Commander has heard of. He nodded in acknowledgement of Hood. Hood then turned her own gaze to the woman in white.
The woman in white spoke quietly. She introduced herself with, "Greetings, Commander. I am the armored aircraft carrier Illustrious. I may seem gentle, but I have quite the temper." That was quite the admission at the end. Commander was glad that the circumstances dictated that he not trust her for the time being. He nodded equally to her.
Attention shifted to Prince of Wales. She relented, saying, "Very well. I, Prince of Wales, shall let you witness my true strength." Prince of Wales was probably his second favorite ship girl so far in Devonport. After Javelin and just before a tie between Cheshire and Duke of York. Commander would be interested to see Prince of Wales in action if she were so sure of her abilities. Commander nodded again.
Duke of York took her cue, "O sinful Commander who tempts me so, engrave my name upon thine heart—Duke of York." There she goes with poetry again. Commander decided to not take any accusations of sin personally, Duke of York probably just says that for her own amusement.
Queen Elizabeth now signaled to the maids.
"I am Sirius."
"Sheffield," identified the most modest of the three maids.
It was the silver eyed one who would speak the most among the maids. "Good day to you. I am Belfast. Please say something should you have a need for me."
"Guess it's our turn," deadpanned Commander.
Nashville spoke first, "It's nice to meet y'all. I'm Nashville. I spent most of World War II in MacArthur's Navy in the South Pacific and then the Philippines. And I seem to remember Duke of York from Tokyo Bay when the Sakura surrender was signed in 1945."
Attention shifted to Duke of York who grinned and hummed in recognition yet stayed silent.
And now everyone's eyes were on Commander. He said, "When I accepted my present mission any record of my existence was erased. I'm a nobody with no official history. So, just about any name for me will suffice. But I'm most accustomed to, 'Commander,' 'Las Vegas,' or from the past hour, 'Calico Jack.' But I respectfully request that vulgarity be avoided."
About half of the table smiled at his attempt at light-hearted humor. He didn't see if the maids reacted. Queen Elizabeth sighed then remarked, "You are not giving us much to work with in terms of introductions, Commander."
"It's not personal," assured the officer, "However, I can offer the unclassified portions of what has been done since our mission commenced. Brief as they may be."
"I suppose that is the best that can be done," conceded the monarch.
Commander recounted the basic happenings of what has occurred since he met Nashville roughly two months earlier. Of their voyage from San Francisco to Miami and of their participation in the Battle of Windward Passage. As he was recounting the tale, tea was poured and placed before each person seated at the table.
Once he had mentioned his part in the Battle of Windward passage the group let out various signals of surprise. Hood asked, "Are you the one the Eagle Union calls, 'Magician?'"
"An aircraft carrier named, 'Hornet,' called me that and a few followed suit where we were last. May I ask where and how you heard that name?"
Illustrious started to speak, "Not two days ago our liaison with your navy in New York Harbor heard rumors of an officer simply named, 'Magician,' that claimed victory from a near suicidal position against a far superior fleet of Sirens. We assumed that the Magician was linked with the recent Eagle Union victory in the Caribbean Sea."
Commander hummed with this new information. Nashville leaned over slightly and patted him on the shoulder. She smiled and said, "Congrats sir. You're getting famous."
Commander started to stroke his chin as he pondered his new status as a rumored officer. Fame would make his job harder. But what if his fame was just the spreading of rumors? That might come in handy in the future. It seemed that Queen Elizabeth giving him a new nickname did him a big favor. He looked up to Elizabeth and asked, "Could you please enlighten me as to what words has reached Your Majesty's ears?"
Queen Elizabeth leaned forward and informed, "In the same way that the Magician pulled off a highly unlikely victory, apparently he knows everything and can see through his opponents. Some whisper that he can even predict the future. They say he comes and goes as he pleases and that neither allies nor Sirens can track him. They say that he answers to no authority but that he is willing to help those in need. Apparently, he's quite the Robin Hood type figure. A friend of Ship Girls in the Eagle Union? I had thought such tales as madness. But now, I've heard that thanks to him, a fleet representative is going to be elected, and that our fellow Ship Girls are now treated more like people than weapons. Word is that the Magician can get things moving in the right direction. Tell me, Calico Jack. Are these stories true?"
Before he answered, Commander picked up his teacup for his first ever sip of Earl Grey. "This tea is outstanding," exclaimed the foreigner. He wasn't lying. But then he got on track with Queen Elizabeth's last words. "You do a good job at making a bumbling fool such as myself sound much larger than life than I really am. Some of what you said is exaggerated but not all of it. But let me guess, your flattery is a ploy to get me to do something for you."
Elizabeth smiled. She had been exposed precisely when she wanted to be. She replied, "I had hoped to further motivate you to do as you said and assist in this theater of the war."
"So, you're admitting that things are worse than they appear and that you want the help after all?" Dammit. Queen Elizabeth had been hoping that he wouldn't say that. Commander noted that a few of the less subtle attendees shifted in their seats. "I also can't help but notice that you're omitting any specifics as to how you would like your assistance." Dammit again.
Queen Elizabeth responded, "I don't trust you enough to ask for anything specific."
Calico Jack smirked, "I'll take that as, 'Yes, things are worse than they appear and you want help.' And for the record, I don't trust you enough to hear you out on anything specific without a heaping serving of salt."
Ouch. But Queen Elizabeth couldn't blame him. She hadn't given him reason to trust her. Nor did she intend to, for now at least. Perhaps revealing a bit of the situation would get the pirate to tip his hand? "We can barely get out of port. Each time we do so is a massive undertaking by much more than the navy. Prince of Wales mentioned that you have an on-board codebreaker and since there is only the two of you. I presume that you are this codebreaker?"
"Caught red handed," admitted Las Vegas, "The simple deception works for merchant sailors and fishermen, I didn't expect it to remain secret here. Nevertheless, as a team of two, Nashville and I are able to get around. Usually undetected."
"Is that so?" asked Queen Elizabeth. She wasn't getting where she wanted to be in this conversation. So far, there has been neither more information nor cooperation from the Commander. She had a feeling that he was getting tired of the same.
She was correct. Commander sighed and said, "Look. This conversation is starting to go in circles. You know what I showed Commodore Smithers earlier. You know I have the authority to take what I want. But I only want to do that as a last resort. I'd rather have you see reason. So, as a sort of incentive, I will at least tell you our general objective."
The collective sat up a bit straighter and paid more attention. "Our objective is to break the blockade around Europe. And while the blockade is likely more extensive than what can be relieved with a single action, I'd like that first action to take place in these waters." Commander's expression and tone turned more sincere than Queen Elizabeth or anyone else present was prepared to handle. He said, "Prince of Wales confessed that the Azur Lane Alliance feels like it only exists on paper and not in practice. I'm inclined to agree. And I'd like this to change. Please, Queen Elizabeth, help us help you."
Attention turned squarely onto the queen as she thought on what had been said. She could tell that there was much more that Calico Jack wasn't telling her, but she could already tell that she won't be able to get him to budge. And she can't possibly hope to search Nashville's hull for clues. Nashville would know the moment anyone sets foot on board. Well, her hands were now tied, and her rudder torpedoed. It seemed that her last resort was approaching. She'd have to trust Calico Jack. Queen Elizabeth relented the battle of wills and said, "Very well, Calico Jack. Despite my reluctance to do so, I will trust that you will deliver on your promise. Are you going to make this move soon?"
"There is still information that Nashville and I need to find before we make our move. We don't know how long this will take."
"Then I would like to impose a few conditions."
"Let's hear them," said Nashville, finally feeling comfortable to join the conversation.
"I would like to be generally informed of what you are doing. Your comings and goings but not necessarily your destinations or your reasons. Though hearing reasons would make me very happy." Queen Elizabeth now looked toward Nashville and continued, "I heard you did well against the raiders earlier this morning. I'd like to be able to count on your direct assistance for similar circumstances while you are here." She now looked toward Commander. "I would like your assistance with code breaking. And whenever you do make your move, I would insist that either a member of my household or a Royal Knight accompany you. I feel that these are reasonable. Do you agree to them?"
Commander and Nashville looked toward each other and with a few expressions and basic gestures they were able to agree that they wanted to amend the conditions a bit. They turned back to Queen Elizabeth. Nashville spoke first, "We would like to change some of the conditions."
"Go on," ordered the queen.
Nashville said, "My commander and I are to not be separated by any of request you may make, or any request made by anyone in lieu of yourself." For a third time, dammit. That sure limited Queen Elizabeth's plans of ever possibly gleaning information from Nashville.
Commander jumped in by saying, "And on your final point. Can it be such that either a member of your household, a Royal Knight, or a member of the Royal Maid Corps accompany us for the action?" This was the more agreeable of the two conditions, even if he didn't provide reasons. And Queen Elizabeth figured he knew about the maid corps from during his walk with Duke of York and Sirius.
In a like manner to Commander and Nashville, Queen Elizabeth silently counselled with those present. Were they in agreement to accept the amended conditions? Illustrious disagreed, Hood agreed, Prince of Wales disagreed, Duke of York agreed, Belfast took her time to decide, at one point making eye contact with the pirate in question, and then she agreed. Based on her own judgements and the advice of those present, Queen Elizabeth would agree.
Queen Elizabeth looked toward Calico Jack and said, "We agree to the terms."
Commander and Nashville shared one last look to agree on whether or not they would go through with this. They decided to go for it. "We agree to the terms," replied Commander.
"Splendid," said Queen Elizabeth now relieved that the difficult part was over. Nevertheless, there was still a tea party to continue. With time the group was able to relax in each other's presence and only then were they able to delve into lighthearted topics such as tastes and hobbies. The most gratifying for Commander was when it came down to sharing of funny stories. But what was most gratifying for everyone else was when each ship girl took turns to reminisce on what each considered their good-old days. Hood considered the best times to be her Imperial cruise in 1923-24. Illustrious had a toss-up between the early actions against the Sardegnans or her time as a training ship just after World War II. Prince of Wales didn't have any. And her sister gave her a pat on the back as consolation. Duke of York favored her time in the Pacific for the closing months against the Sakura in 1945 or her time as flagship of the Royal Navy's Home Fleet. Nashville repeated what she had said back in the Bahamas about her prewar neutrality cruises. Likewise, Commander repeated his love for his university days.
As the maids were clearing off the table of the china and other tea party supplies Commander let slip how proud he was of his skill in brewing a good cup of coffee. This most of all caught Belfast's attention who requested she try some one day. As much as she terrified Commander, he wouldn't deny a trivial request like that. It would be a clash of beverages. And to set the bar, it was revealed that Belfast had made the tea that was drank for the party. Now that it was a challenge, Commander couldn't back down. He said, "I'll have to bring my A-game if I hope to win this skirmish of drinks."
"I predict thy A-game to be lacking," taunted Duke of York.
Rousing agreement went along with Duke of York's statement. Hoping for back-up he looked over to Nashville. She avoided his gaze for a moment and that made everyone except Commander laugh. She finally looked back as the group was quieting down and she said unsurely, "I'd give you a fifty-fifty chance of making it out on top. You make a great cup of coffee, but that was fantastic tea."
"Well, I've gone too far to back down now. I'll get you the best cup of coffee you've ever had, Belfast."
"I look forward to it."
"Do save a cup for me," requested Illustrious. "Such boastful talk has made me curious."
The rest present agreed. It looked like Commander just became an amateur barista. He smirked to try and convince them—and himself—that he stood a chance of winning against Belfast's tea. The subject fell out of favor not long after.
It seemed that it was time to depart. Sheffield advanced to the table to escort the foreign duo away, but Queen Elizabeth found herself troubled. She found that a question had returned to her mind that she had asked on occasion to a few different people and got a few different answers, none of which left her satisfied. Perhaps she could test Calico Jack in this thing?
As Commander scooted his chair from the table Queen Elizabeth spoke up. "Just a moment, please. There is one last thing I want to ask you."
Commander's attention shifted back to the teenage monarch. He scooted his chair back in to show he was listening. In the company of almost exclusively ship girls Queen Elizabeth started to explain the thing that had weighed down on her soul for years. "You see, Calico Jack, I, along with most at this table, were launched for a second time nearly fifteen years ago and while I cannot speak for my household, my knights, or my maids, something has plagued my mind for almost all this time. I have asked this question of a number of people and have gotten equally numerous answers that have all failed to satisfy me. I consider us human. I can see that you consider likewise. So please, tell me. Why? Why are we like this? Wouldn't machines serve humanity just as well as, if not better than, us ship girls? Or is there no reason at all?"
Commander folded his hands and leaned his chin on them as his eyes traced the patterns in the tablecloth. He thought for a solid few minutes and Queen Elizabeth didn't see it prudent to rush him. He finally looked up to meet Queen Elizabeth's gaze. He began, "I may not look like it, but I am a religious man. And I believe that there is a reason for all things. And as easy as it would be to encourage you to find religion, I'd wager that to be an unsatisfying answer." He paused and then he asked, "Are you familiar with Charlie Chaplin?"
Everyone present smiled nostalgically except Queen Elizabeth who laughed quietly. She remarked, "Now that's a name I never expected to hear again. But yes, I'm familiar with him."
"Excellent. That makes this explanation a lot easier. I know that the war had already begun in Europe so you may or may not be familiar with the movie I'm thinking of but in 1940 Chaplin released his first film with sound. It was a satire of the Third Reich and Adolf Hitler called The Great Dictator. I hope you forgive my spoiling the film, but I think it will put your mind at ease. At the climax, a Jewish barber played by Chaplin has accidentally replaced the satirical stand-in for Hitler—also played by Chaplin—because they look identical. The barber is taken to the capital for a victory speech to commemorate their most recent conquest. And despite being hated for being a Jew and having every reason to hate back, he gives a rousing speech about the virtues and inherent goodness of humanity, and the dangers of surrendering our humanity. I have a portion of the speech memorized.
He said, referring to humanity, 'We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives in abundance has left us in want. Our knowledge has made us cynical; or cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost.'
I believe that you are human because in this time of terrible crisis never before fathomed by humanity, we have finally had the curtain torn down to reveal the truth that machinery is not the solution and that it never has been. Humanity is the solution. I believe that you are human because machines and the qualities they bring cannot save humanity. Only humans can save humanity. I believe that you are human because that is the way it is meant to be. Or all would be lost."
Silence befell the gazebo because all that had heard were now lost in thought. It is part of the natural human condition to ask, "Why?" It's a question that has to be answered by all at some point in their lives. But to Commander, ship girls posed a special variation of the age-old inquiry, and he was honored to have been able to share his opinion on the matter. But the fact remains that this question is deeply personal and while one can get recommendations from another, the answer is to be found internally.
Commander felt a hand fall gently on his shoulder. He followed the hand to find Nashville, his friend. She was crying. She gave him a gentle squeeze to demonstrate her gratitude, if only a little, for what he had said. He patted her own hand a few times on his shoulder as if to say, "You're welcome."
He looked back around the table. There was not a single dry eye in sight. Even in the corner of his sight, Belfast was wiping her eye. Time passed and he was content to let it do so. Maybe it wouldn't be madness to be trapped in this tea party forever. But Nashville noticed his joking smile come onto his face and she prayed he kept it classy. He said, "I wish I packed more handkerchiefs with me."
Quiet laughter passed among the assembly in the gazebo. Commander addressed Queen Elizabeth, "Does that answer Your Majesty's question?"
"It does. Far better than any other answer that I have yet heard. I-I-," she paused to sniffle and gather herself a bit more and then she resumed, "I have misjudged you, Calico Jack. Please accept my apology."
"I accept it."
"Would you have me reverse my decree of you being called, 'Calico Jack?'"
"I have nothing against the name. You don't have to trouble yourself."
"Then it shall stand. Thank you for your time. Sheffield," the maid approached, "Guide Calico Jack and Nashville to the canteen or whatever eatery they fancy and then please resume your duties," she then directed her attention back to the duo and asked, "Do you know your way around enough to get back to your hull alone afterwards?"
Nashville nodded for them. She said, "Thanks a bunch for inviting me and my commander to this tea party. We're happy to be working with y'all for the time being."
Commander picked up where his friend left off, "I second that. Your Majesty, ladies, have a wonderful remainder of your day."
The group that would be left behind returned the well-wishes and then Sheffield led Nashville and Calico Jack away the way they came.
Once the foreigners were out of earshot, they passed some more time musing over the singularity of what had just happened. Of all people who would speak first, it was the head maid herself, Belfast. "Well, that was unexpected, but not at all unwelcome."
"Indeed," concurred Queen Elizabeth. "Belfast, what do you make of the man?"
"I never doubted his intelligence, but his wisdom and sincerity surprised me. I think that he will uphold his end of the agreement. But I can't help but notice that he is frightened by myself."
Amused smiles and chuckles floated among the impromptu royal court. Illustrious felt to comment on Belfast's judgement of Calico Jack's fears. "Then I am forced to also think him wise. You are the most frightening of us all. But I also agree concerning his character. I see a light in his eye that is unfortunately scarce among people these days."
"I recall that same scarcity back in the day too," opined Hood. "Would you disagree?"
"No, I suppose not," admitted Illustrious.
Queen Elizabeth took control of the conversation again when she spoke to Duke of York, "York. What do you think of him? You were with him during his errand."
"I confirm him genuine," stated Duke of York.
"What happened during his errand?" followed up Prince of Wales.
"With nary a gesture and a smile," recalled Duke of York, "he won favor with Javelin. She requested an embrace for a sign of gratitude."
"Pardon my saying, Lady York," said Belfast, "but a hug from Javelin doesn't mean much. She's just that type of person."
"Please tell me he didn't do anything scandalous," inserted Hood.
"Nay, he did no such thing," reported the vampire knight, "And verily I say, Javelin was not his test of morality."
"What was the test then?" asked Illustrious.
Duke of York smiled in a way to imply being filled with mirth. "We stumbled upon Cheshire. Or rather, she stumbled upon Calico Jack."
Faces met palms as the rest present considered the scene in their imaginations. Of course, Cheshire would seek out one with, "Calico," in his name. She probably did something weird too.
"Well, don't hold us in the dark," said Prince of Wales to her younger sister.
Duke of York recounted the events starting from when she noticed Cheshire's presence and when she saw Calico Jack's preparations to catch her should she fall. Duke of York spared no details as she described how he caught her and helped her stand without feeling her up. Then she amusingly spoke of Cheshire's desires that he be her new owner and his assumption that she was speaking sexually. They laughed at the man's reaction to that and how fast he was to accept Sirius's explanation of friendship. But then the group was impressed at how he handled Cheshire's desires of any sort of affection or companionship. The general conclusion was that something of the sort would be good for the PR heavy cruiser. Not many are willing to tolerate her antics.
But concern arose when Duke of York pointed out how poorly Nashville handled what she clearly interpreted as romantic advances from Cheshire toward her commander. To avoid future issues, it was decided that from the group, Hood would take it upon herself to find Nashville's true feelings on the matter. Belfast would do the same with Calico Jack. It was agreed that while they were meddling in a private matter, they would have to move before anything got out of hand. Angry ship girls have caused damage before, but an angry PR ship girl has never been among those involved in such encounters. They had to tread carefully, or someone might have their life cut short by accident.
But with all business concluded they parted from each other. Each left with a bit more clarity on the situation at large and they were more comfortable with the sate of things, and in particular, having a pirate in their midst.
Queen Elizabeth was no stranger to desperate situations or the turning points that always followed. She recalled the feeling when word of the Battle of Jutland reached her decks. She recalled the feeling when she heard of the sinking of the Bismarck. And she recalled the feeling of impending victory on the horizon when the Allies stormed Normandy. It was positively refreshing that for the first time in a very long time, she was getting one of those feelings again.
The status quo was shifting, and she welcomed it.
What a nice tea party that was. I enjoyed it. I'm glad that I was able to get Queen Elizabeth and Commander to come to an understanding without them having to do petty things to undermine one another for the remainder of the arch. Or worse, sic the Royal Maid Corps on the heroes. Because I really like the concept of the corps and I struggle to come up with a believable way that would allow our heroes to come out on top once the dust settles if they were to do battle (figuratively).
But I other news, what do you think of Cheshire? I had been looking for a way to heighten the drama and all that, but I'll admit that I had bounced around for a day or two as to who would get to fall head over heels for Las Vegas. I had wanted to mention PR ships at some point, so I would like to thank Dario6595 for leaving a review that inspired me to introduce this story's first one in this chapter. But I want your opinion. Is Cheshire a maid? I looked at her in-game dialogue and for one line she imitates a maid. Which to me implies that she isn't one. But then in another voice line she asks to be told about being a maid. Based on these, I don't know if she is or isn't. So, I just went with kind of. But anyway, she's cool with a harem, while Nashville isn't. I wonder where this will go. I see some comments, so let's get right on that.
Hi, SomeRand0m. I'll admit, I kind of agree with you about Nashville's ability being OP. When I wrote it, I had figured that the big balancing is that it won't happen that often and I wanted a set-piece whenever it activates. But concerning the fire-rate of the Brooklyn-class light cruiser. Fire rate is something that the game doesn't do much justice. For comparison, the 8 in/55 caliber main cannon on the USS Baltimore could fire four rounds per minute while the 6 in/47 caliber main cannon on the USS Nashville could fire ten rounds in the same amount of time. Baltimore had nine guns while Nashville had fifteen. The argument that heavy cruisers are better than light cruisers isn't necessarily as clean-cut as a lot of people think. That and the identification of a light cruiser vs. a heavy cruiser was done with gun size instead of the weight of the ship itself. For example, at standard load, a Cleveland-class light cruiser was marginally heavier than a standard load Takao-class heavy cruiser. Says the internet. But I'm glad that you like the fight scenes. And I'm relieved that I'm able to show that the heroes trust each other by now. And I'm glad you liked how Queen Elizabeth was handled. For Nashville to realize she is indeed falling for Las Vegas definitely won't take 40 chapters. I think this chapter gave a pretty big hint as to what's going to open her eyes. I was anticipating to retro-fit Nashville at some point. I'm just not entirely sure when, or under what circumstances. And thanks for your luck for my pulls in the Russian Event. I'm just missing Bellorussiya at this point. Have a good one.
What's up, Dario6595? Thanks for hating Smithers. I do too. And I'm glad that I you liked how Queen Elizabeth was handled. I'm excited for the Kriegsmarine to make their appearance too. I can assure you that a shape, a ship, will take form. Thanks for the praise. Also, thanks for giving me the idea to include a PR ship at this time. I was looking for a time to introduce them and to be honest, a PR ship for Nashville's rival of romance didn't cross my mind until I read your review. Thanks again. On no. I completely forgot about the air force. I'm sure I'll find a point where I can include an explanation that makes some semblance of sense at some point. Thanks for bringing that up though. I also hope that everything turns out well for you. Cheers and good luck to you too.
Hey there, HeronLsL. Thanks for liking that last chapter. I hope this one held up too. The Royal Navy is a pretty solid choice of factions. I'll try to do them justice. I look forward to eventually including some Northern Parliament ships too. Thanks for the approval about Queen Elizabeth. At the moment, I'm not intending to do as much with Commodore Smithers as I did for Rear admiral Slade because he's not nearly as interesting to me. But we'll see what happens. I hope you liked the tea.
It's good to see you, SafetyDoggo. He's going to get more names. Please stow away the hentai tentacles. The only tentacles in this story are the drag-you-to-the-bottom-of-the-ocean, sea monster variety. You do bring up an interesting idea of modern upgrades on a kansen though. I'll keep this idea in mind. Wait no more. Here's the chapter.
Greetings, Zander22122. I'm intending to get him a new nickname in each country. I explained who Calico Jack was in the chapter. I know that he was a character in Assassin's Creed: Black Flag, but I've never played that game, so I don't know how close what I described is to that character in-game. While the American Privateer is a novel idea, what I was going for is how, "Jack," is just a generic place-holder name for some guy whose name you don't know. "Calico Jack," was a convenient (and cool) way to build off that idea.
It's nice to meet you, shooped. Thank you very much for acknowledging that Queen Elizabeth is much more complex than what most write her to be. I like to think that the Royal Navy wouldn't be so stupid to follow a self-serving monarch like some authors have written, nor someone as uncomplicated as a stereotypical tsundere. Galas are forthcoming. I guarantee one at some point though. But who knows when? Himedere does seem more apt than tsundere. But more than anything, thanks for giving Nashville a chance. By what the data I have available to me as an author, you're in the minority. Thank you. I had completely forgotten about the existence of Sir Francis Drake. I suppose it was going in that direction.
Thanks for leaving a review, PinPoint Annihilator. You see, as much as I would love to get a kansen for a Royal Navy submarine. I can't think of a way to do so without them just becoming a throwaway character because I don't want to detract from what I want to focus on in my story. Sorry. But if I were to include one, it would be HMS Venturer.
Well, I've said what's on my mind and I'm really tired right now. I'm going to get some sleep. Take care, friends. If you are having a bad day I hope it gets better, and if you are having a good day I hope it gets even better.
