Chapter Three – 'Not everyone is lucky'

"Ned Flanders." Burns proudly announced to the crowd and held the lottery ball above his head again. The crowd started to cheer, because they knew Ned Flanders was a better choice than Frank Grimes.

"Flanders? Why does he get everything?" Homer frustratingly said. He didn't really care who played, but he wanted anyone except his next door neighbor and rival Ned Flanders to get it. "We must win now, right Marge?"

"I don't know. He is our neighbor." Marge answered to the disdain of Homer.

"We can't let Flanders win. All he does is sell left-handed scissors at the mall, then from that push cart, then the mall again." Homer reminded the family, and continued his thought about the time Flanders almost lost his business and went bankrupt, but overall Homer didn't want it to go that far.

The more Lisa thought about Ned Flanders winning the game, she thought about how he would either run the power plant or shut it down. This might be the one player she should cheer for and maybe help decide the fate of the prize. "What do you think Flanders would do with the power plant?" But no one answered her, knowing it was a loaded question.

"But if Flanders wins, Rod and Todd will be the heirs to the Burns' fortune. I'm the rightful heir. Homer win me a power plant. You work there, use your connections to the old man and get selected." Bart pleaded but knew that none of the people who work at Springfield Nuclear Power Plant could affect the outcome, except maybe Smithers.

"I still don't think it's a good idea to play. Something still does not seem right with this." Marge reminded, as seeing Burns on the television made her want to leave the room. She had a list full of reasons not to trust Burns, stemming from previously working for him as a temporary employee.

"But Marge. It's about family honor now. We can't let Flanders take the power plant to his family, it should be us. I've helped build that power plant into what it is today." Homer was serious now. He wasn't going to let Flanders take it from him.

"Yeah, one accident at a time." Bart quickly came back at Homer.

"I hate to say it, but they are both right." Lisa suggested. "We have always rivaled Flanders and his kids, and that is what you have taught us Dad. And he did help shape the standards now used to be accident free for a long time." The more Lisa went on, Marge started to hear the positive reasons of this game. "You have to let us play. Please Mom?"

"Oh, alright. It's still a longshot with only five names to go." Marge had finally changed her mind.

The attention then focused back on Mr. Burns as Marge quietly took her seat on the couch. "And from what I hear, this is a good pick. Ned Flanders is alive and able to play." Burns stated to the crowd, who wanted him to pick another name. "Now that we got one, let's go for two. But first, Smithers mix this thing again, we don't want anyone to think this event is rigged."

"Only if you drew my name, sir." Smithers replied. "Then it might seem suspicious."

"Did you remove your name from the drawing? If I wanted you to have my wonderful and profitable power plant I would just give it to you and not waste my time on this silly game." Burns said in a tone of voice that showed his assistant of many years had no more of a chance to win than the average citizen.

"My name was on your list." as Smithers pulled the list from his pocket again and scanned for his name. "I am just as eligible to play your game."

"True that may be. You would still have to win." Burns sneered at Smithers in a low voice the audience would not be able to hear. "Now if Smithers will spin the names, we can continue."

Smithers spun the cage of lottery balls again and stepped aside for Burns to step up and reach in for another name. He removed a lottery ball and held it high as he said the name.

"Jeff Albertson." Burns triumphantly stated. There was some chattering among the crowd as they looked around while trying to figure out who had just been picked. No one was cheering or celebrating, so the name didn't mean much to anyone.

"Who is Jeff Albertson?" Homer inquired. He looked at the others to see if anyone had any signs of an answer.

"I've never heard of him, and I know everyone in town." Lisa was sure she knew everyone, but this name didn't register with her.

"Everyone knows you Lisa just from wanting to vote against, or argue against everything that they want." Marge reminded Lisa of her many attempts of trying to change events she couldn't control.

"Well, I know who it is. Get with the program people." There were not many people Bart knew their full names, but this was one of them. He taunted Lisa for knowing something she didn't.

"How would you know who it is?" Lisa questioned a little stunned.

"Because I talk to him on a regular basis, almost daily. Jeff Albertson is the comic book guy." Bart explained. "He owns the Android's Dungeon Comic Book Shop."

"I never knew what his name was. I've talked to him many times while waiting for you kids to read all his comics, but never asked him if he had a name." Homer remarked as he was thinking how much time he had spent in the shop for not reading any of the comics.

"You're right, he doesn't mention his own name, so we all just call him Comic Book Guy." Lisa realized. She tried to think of all the times she was at his shop and maybe just missed his name, but she came up with nothing.

Bart tried to remember when he heard the real name of Comic Book Guy, but he did not know the exact day. "I heard him say it once, I don't remember when though, but I know that is his name. He does seem to answer to the nickname Comic Book Guy more though.

"Well good for him, but I hate to say there are only four names left for a chance to defend the family's honor." Marge's attitude was completely changed from before. Instead of fighting this event, she agreed with it now.

Burns appeared back on the television and continued speaking about the last name drawn. "Well it seems no one knows who that is, so let's move on. Smithers, spin this thing again."

"I don't think it needs any more spinning, sir. It seems random enough to me." Smithers shot at a stunned Burns.

It took a second to realize what Smithers had just said, but there was a tension building between them. Smithers thought he deserved the power plant, but got the real answer when Burns wouldn't just give it to him. "Well fine then, it appears your services are no longer required, but you can stay and watch, if you like." He grabbed another name the same as the last ones and stated, "Lurleen Lumpkin," getting a mixed response of cheers and confused answers from the crowd.

Smithers started to say something, then decided it was best to keep it to himself.

"Her?" Questioned Marge.

"I thought she left town after Dad helped her become a country music star." Lisa added. "You helped her get famous then decided family was more important than fame."

"She did, but it didn't work out for her, so she ended up in Springfield again. Last I heard she was still here." Homer answered with no interest in finding out if she really was.

"I havent heard about her lately, you sure she is still here?" Lisa wondered.

"I don't know, but it caused too much tension between Marge and me. We'll find out soon enough." Homer thought out loud.

"Only one way to find out, either she will play or she won't." Bart concluded.

The conversation ended as quickly as it started, it was a touchy subject that no one really wanted to go into. Burns collected their attention again as the family turned back to the television.

"I bet everyone is getting nervous as we are half way through the names. These last three people are lucky to get picked, but in my opinion, I think those not playing are the lucky ones." Burns said with a strange look in his eye.

"What a really odd thing to say." Lisa pointed out.

"See, that's exactly why I don't want anyone playing." Marge's opinion of this game had changed back to dangerous again.

"It's Burns just trying to scare people. He doesn't want to seem too soft." Bart added to the conversation, as Marge started to react to the comment.

"Well I don't like it, someone should stop him." Marge demanded.

"They will. That's the point of winning." Lisa finished as Burns began to draw another ball.

"Here we go. Anyone getting nervous yet?" He grabbed the next ball the same way and proclaimed: "Moe Szyslak." A nervous chuckle went through the crowd. Moe was himself. Nothing extraordinary, just the local bartender. Everyone knew him and his life story which was full of sadness and triumph.

"Woo-hoo. I vote moe!" Homer exclaimed to the rest of the family.

"Dad! It's not a popularity contest." Lisa seemed to get frustrated as Homer's focus shifted from one of the family winning to a friend that just got selected to play.

"Moe needs something good like this to happen in his life." Marge seemed to have a lighter attitude now that there was someone in the game that needed a fresh start at a better life.

"I guess no more prank calls if he wins. He won't be bar tending anymore." Bart said in a sadden voice. "Those prank calls were the funniest two minutes of my day."

"Wonder if Moe will have a replacement bartender?" Homer asked. This would part a big dent in his weekly plans.

"You just need to find something else to do besides drink at the bar." Marge scolded. "That's all you do. Every time you aren't home, I just drive down to Moe's Tavern to find you hanging out with your bar buddies."

"It's more than that Marge. It's like a brotherhood down there. All of us lowly power plant workers go there after work to relax and joke around about how crappy our day was." Homer defended Moe's Tavern. It was like a second home to him. He had seen it through all the good times, and the worse times.

"Last time you were in a brotherhood, they threw you out. Until they realized you were their 'chosen one'." Bart remembered. "Those were some fun times."

"Oh yeah. The Stonecutters. I had completely forgot. I was in charge of Burns, I remember now. Can we join that again?" Homer went on about his earlier adventure.

"That was a long time ago. I don't know if they are still around?" Lisa thought.

"We could ask Burns." Bart laughed as he continued. "See if he remembers. You made him look like a lowly worker."

"Maybe later. He is back at the lottery machine." Marge gathered the attention of the family again to the television.

"Well, I'm getting more excited. Only two more people to choose, then my wonderful game can begin." Burns reached in again and pulled the next name. "Jasper Beardly." There came a few cheers from the crowd. "And it seems he is standing in the audience. Finally I can guarantee at least one player."

The crowd parted as Jasper stepped forward to say a few words. "I'll tell you young people something. If you get in my way, that's a paddling. Not cheering for me, that's also a paddling. Leaving before I win the prize, that's two paddlings." Another cheer was heard from the same elderly citizens standing next to Jasper.

"It seems the senior center took a field trip to Burns Manor." Marge pointed out.

"I don't think they get out much. It's good for them to get some fresh air." Lisa wanted to help the elder citizens when she could, even if she only entertained them with her saxophone.

"At least we didn't have to go pick up Grandpa. Someone else drove him there, they can drive him back." Homer said to himself, as he did not want to deal with Grandpa Simpson tonight. The night was stressful enough.

"But we only pick up Grandpa when we have to. We should be more involved." Lisa tried to reason, but the focus was back on the television.

Everyone seemed to get nervous as Burns appeared on the screen again, as there was one last name to select for his game. "Who will be the last one to join the game?" Burns narrated to the crowd as he stepped up to the cage one last time.

"Well this is it. One more name and no one in this family will be subjected to this twisted idea of Burns." Marge sounded relieved. The odds were slim as they had been for everyone else picked.

Burns reached in and grabbed another lottery ball. Being the final pick, he held it high and announced: "Lisa Simpson!"

"Alright! I got picked." Lisa jumped up and down, very excited that she had a chance to win the power plant and change the landscape of Springfield.

"D'oh!" was all Homer could think to say as Marge looked at him with a disappointed look as she left the room.

The excitement was paused as Burns had one last thing to say. "I'm an impatient man, and want to start this game sooner rather than later. Tomorrow at high noon, those six people need to be at Burns Manor so we can begin. Now everyone get off my property before I release the hounds."

"Six lucky people were chosen, and Burns' game starts tomorrow. Join us live for continuing news coverage from Burns Manor. Kent Brockman standing by until then." Homer turned the television off and sat back down on the couch.