Chapter Five – 'Step inside'

"Smithers, shut the door. I don't want anyone leaving my mansion. We have a game to play." Burns ordered as he continued to remind the participants that it was almost time to play.

"Right away, sir." Smithers obeyed the order given by his long time boss. The door shut with a loud click that echoed through the entryway and down the main hall. An eerie quiet came over everyone as this was it. There was no turning back. All they could do was follow Burns wherever he was taking them.

"Are you sure we can't leave a door open or at least unlocked? Maybe even a window." Lisa asked in a slightly worried voice. She had never been in Burns Manor without her family.

"You afraid something is going to happen? You sound just like Milhouse. He will not leave the house unless I tell him his shadow can not hurt him." Luann didn't seem to check her attitude at the door. Everyone had ignored her comment. Another eerie quiet fell in the hallway as no one really liked Luann's constant disdain for most of the residents of Springfield.

"He always leaves the house to come to my comic book store, the Android Dungeon. He is one of my best costumers, well him and all the rest of the kids." Comic Book Guy added to break the nervous tension that had come over everyone.

"Well, that's one place I won't let my Rod and Todd go. They have their Sunday church comics and that's good enough for them. I don't want them warping their minds with those devil stories." Ned Flanders tried to fit in with the rest of the crowd, but it did not work. They stopped walking a second and glanced over at Ned, until he turned his head and continued down the hallway.

"Maybe I should start hanging out there." Moe thought out loud.

"The church welcomes everyone. Come on down. I'll see you there on Sunday." Ned quickly answered, seeing the chance to welcome a new member to the congregation.

"Yeah, that too. I meant the comic book store." Moe nervously corrected himself, trying not to offend Ned.

"I haven't read a comic book since the early days of first editions. I remember when Radioactive Man issue #1 came out." Jasper reminisced. "I was a young boy and bought it with the money I made from my newspaper route. If only I still had that comic, I could sell it for a lot of money to one of you young kids."

"When I was a young boy, moving pictures and prohibition were popular, but the roaring '20s aside. Let's start our tour of my home, Burns Manor." He reminded everyone that he was much older, and less patient than they were. "Pay attention as this could also be yours, if you win."

"I thought we were only playing for the power plant." Lisa asked, but everyone else had the same thought.

"It was to be a surprise when you find out what all is included in the grand prize." Burns quietly said. "More than the power plant and more than you think."

They continued down the hallway a bit until Burns stopped them all and pointed to the left. "This is the grand dining room. It is only used during visits from heads of state, famous celebrities, and my mother." Burns cringed slightly when thinking about his mother visiting. She did not talk to him much, but it was a chore every time she did. "Smithers, when was the last time we used this dining room?"

"When was the last time we had a Springfield Republican Party meeting here instead of at the mansion of Rich Texan?" Smithers asked while Lisa scowled. Before she could make her comment about being of the opposite political party, Burns started to answer.

"Oh, it has been awhile. The next election is coming up soon, and I would like to host a last meeting being the chairman, however it may not be hosted here if the winner is not in our inner circle of political supremacy." Burns wanted the winner to continue his traditions but knew it might not work that way.

"Well, I think if it gets me in to the winning party of the election, I'm all for it." Moe added, as he needed a group of people to accept him into an exclusive club. "What about anyone else? Comic Guy? Lisa?"

"I don't think it is right to discuss our political preferences here. We have other things to do." Luann said, but no one wanted to acknowledge her.

"My name is Comic Book Guy." He emphasized. "And I would have to think about it as I am already a member of the Federation, and do not wish to switch political parties at this time." Comic Book Guy finished as a few confused glances came his way.

"The Federation. Never heard of it and I been voting since Herbert Hoover was running for re-election." Jasper remembered his days as a youth in Springfield. "If only more people had voted for him, the war may have turned out differently."

"I wouldn't expect you to know what it is. I didn't see any of you at the last Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con. The Federation is by invite only to us Trekkies." Comic Book Guy showed his nerdy side and got the reaction he thought he would.

"You may be the best candidate for winning this game if you are in the nerd crowd. Your knowledge may help your chances." Burns said mysteriously as no one knew exactly what he meant by that statement. "Any one else have questions about the dining room?" Burns looked around to nods and started to walk further down the hall. "This way everyone and we will now go to the grand staircase."

"Is everything here grand, because this beats living like a normal person." Moe suggested as thoughts of grandeur filled his head.

"It is a mansion, so everything is referred to as grand." Smithers voiced his opinion of living in this mansion by being an assistant to Springfield's richest man for many years.

The group reached the grand staircase and stopped for a lecture from Mr. Burns. "This is the Grand Staircase. It is the staircase in the center of the mansion that divides my half from the assistant's half."

"I like my half of the mansion. I don't know how I ever got half of the mansion, but I'm not complaining." Smithers quickly covered his tracks to make sure he did not offend Burns.

"I would hope you aren't complaining or you can sleep in the doghouse outside with the hounds." Burns took the comment from Smithers personally for a second, then smiled rather weirdly. "Anyways, this staircase leads to the upstairs and to my bedroom, and to the famous elevated balcony. So if you all will follow me, I will lead you closer to your fate."

"As long as it is a good fate, that's alright with me. One good deed deserves another." Ned seemed optimistic that Burns giving away his power plant was a good deed, but Lisa was quick to disagree.

"I don't think this is a good deed. If that was the case, the six of us could choose to divide this six ways. We would all be home by dinnertime owning one-sixth of a power plant." Lisa had thought this to be the easiest answer, and the most fair.

"If it were that easy, you all would not be in my house, so up the stairs everyone. Every step upstairs is a step closer to winning." Burns joked, but no one laughed.

They all made it up the stairs and turned to the right and continued down another hallway. Burns led them to the grand bedroom followed by the lucky six, and trailed by Smithers. "You can join Burns at the head of the tour." Comic Book Guy mentioned to Smithers in a quiet voice. "It's not like anyone is going to fall into a chocolate river or turn into a giant blueberry." A small chuckle came from most of the group, except for Ned.

"I don't get it. Is that a reference to something. I've never heard Reverend Lovejoy talk about chocolate rivers so it must be made up." Ned questioned why he was the only one that didn't laugh.

"Don't worry Ned and Comic Book Guy, there is only one river inside the power plant and it glows neon green, so make sure you don't fall in. On we go." Burns led them into the grand bedroom and towards the balcony. He opened the double doors and walked out. "Care to join me for some fresh air?" Burns invited them all outside to remind them that the news crews and cameras were still there. "And if you look close enough, there is Kent Brockman who will interview the winner, and maybe the losers if he needs a news story bad enough." Burns walked back inside and gestured them toward the other side of the room. "Now if you will follow me, I have a surprise to show you."

They all turned around and followed Burns across the room to a closet door.

"I hope this bedroom has big walk-in closets. I need lots of room for the hundreds of shoes I own. And shelves, lots of shelves." Luann blurted out as she was the only one concerned about housing a shoe collection that covered every color of the visible spectrum.

"My shoe closet doesn't sound as impressive as yours." Smithers said but quickly retracted. "I mean, I have normal shoes like every guy has. Nothing special."

"It sounds like you are hiding something." Comic Book Guy spoke up. "You do own the largest Malibu Stacy doll collection in the city." He looked back at Smithers before finishing. "I collect comics, you collect dolls."

"And she collects shoes, and I collect war souvenirs. Does it matter what anyone collects?" Jasper jumped in to defend Smithers. "I'm sure he enjoys what he does."

"I collect shot glasses and beer steins. Does that count?" Moe tried to fit in to the conversation. "I am a bartender, so it made sense to collect items I can show off to my patrons."

Burns seemed annoyed that the conversation had gone this far. "Back to this door. It is not a walk-in closet, but I could use it as one. It is big enough for all eight of us. So in we go."

Everyone piled into the small space and Burns closed the door behind them. He reached to the side of the door and turned on a light.

"There is nothing in here." Lisa disappointingly said. "I thought we were getting closer to the end."

"We are. I just need to hit this other switch and we will almost be there." Burns said as he flipped the switch next to the light switch. The room jolted as it dropped. "This is my personal elevator to get me to and from the grand bedroom. You all didn't think I walk up and down the many stairs. I could not handle that on a daily basis."

"Where does this lead to? The main floor?" Ned nervously asked. "I don't like the thought of my final days going in the down direction. Every Sunday I pray about going up in the afterlife."

"It's just an elevator. I ride one all the time at the Senior Center." Jasper reassured the others.

"Does this mean we are getting closer to playing your game?" Lisa asked. She seemed to get more excited with every second.

"Oh yes. We are almost there." Burns said in a normal tone of voice. "Then I shall be able to sit and relax. The game is almost afoot."

"This is a long elevator ride." Moe suggested as the elevator stopped its vertical motion and now seemed to be moving horizontally. "Why does it feel like a train now, instead of an elevator."

"Because it is." Burns plainly said. "This is how I get to work. I ride this from the grand bedroom to the executive office of my power plant."

"Occasionally I drive Mr. Burns, but most days he is at his desk before I get there." Smithers said as everyone knew he was the assistant to Burns, but no one ever questioned what he actually did to help the elder statesman.

The elevator ascended a few seconds before coming to a stop long after anyone expected it would. Burns opened the door and the view of his elegant office was in view. "Now if everyone would please step out. I will show you my office as the last stop in the tour."

Everyone felt a little nervous and relieved as the tour had ended and it was game time.

"The big windows behind the desk are where I keep an eye on my precious power plant. I can see everything outside through here, to see everything inside I have this wall of security cameras. Which I shall use to watch the progress of the game." Burns grinned as he said this. "After all, it is for my enjoyment."

"Well, I'm used to someone watching my every move all hours of the day to make sure I don't do anything I shouldn't." Ned admitted but was contradicted by the others.

"We all have that watchful eye." Jasper started to explain. "It doesn't matter if it is the almighty, Santa Claus, or the orderly to make sure I take my pills."

"It is a game, and I intend to win." Luann confidently said.

"I can win too." Moe sheepishly said as Burns sat down at his desk.

"I'm sure all of you can win, or you wouldn't have shown up this morning. I will give you all advice. Remember, this is a game to see who is worthy enough to take over my power plant, my mansion, and my future. Good luck, you all will need it."

He pressed a button under the desk and another part of the wall opened to show a small room. Everyone looked inside and didn't see anything but three enclosing walls. "This is the game room, now everyone in. I will read the instructions upon entering and we will begin." Burns watched as the six participants walked across the office, entered the small room, and stood in the middle looking confused.

"I wish everyone good luck and..." Ned started but was interrupted.

"Well, I'm ready to win..." Luann continued but was also interrupted.

"Experience will pay off." Jasper thought out loud.

"Youth and skill too." Lisa added to Jasper's thought.

"I have experience in games. I play the adult versions." Comic Book Guy added.

"I'm just here. One chance in a million to own a power plant." Moe finished.

"Are you all done yet?" Burns asked. "But before I hit the button to close you all in." He turned and looked at Smithers. "Why are you just standing there Smithers."

"What should I be doing?" Smithers questioned his boss. "You want me to get you some tea to enjoy your afternoon with?"

Burns looked at him and simply said: "If you want your chance to play and win, I suggest you get in the room too, before I hit this button again." And with that Smithers walked in and stood next to the other six, as Burns pressed the button again to close the doors.