Chapter Eleven – 'That was very informative'
"This sure is taking a long time, since Luann rolled doubles." Moe said to the remaining players who had not left yet. "Anyone know how far she went?"
"It is hard to say." Jasper disappointedly said. "She rolled a twelve, then continued on after that."
"So, she could be fourteen spaces from here." Smithers said after thinking for a second.
"No!" Lisa blurted out. Jasper, Moe, and Smithers all turned to look at her. "She would have to be at least fifteen spaces away. Fourteen, which would be twelve plus two, would be two sets of doubles. She would have a third turn. However fifteen is twelve plus three."
The other three looked at her in amazement. "She's good." Moe said. "I really think if anyone can win this it would be you."
"Maybe you can beat Luann." Jasper added. "She shouldn't be playing anyways and I don't like her attitude."
"Thanks. I would like to win, but there are still seven of us playing." Lisa said before the attention turned back to Moe.
The long wait was over as Moe noticed his MyPad finally lit up in his hand. "Luann's turn is over. It's time for someone else to take their turn, and by someone, I mean me." Moe smugly said.
"Fifteen to twenty-three spaces. That's where Luann can be. We need to catch up to her." Lisa explained as Moe's face got some excitement in it.
"I can start now." Moe looked at the MyPad and the roll icon that was displayed. "Here's hoping I roll something good," he hoped as his finger slowly pressed the screen.
The loud booms echoed through the sky as everyone looked into the distance expecting something to happen. "One time something will happen." Jasper commented.
"Such as?" Smithers asked him, not expecting a response.
"I don't really know, but something could." Jasper answered and continued to stare at the horizon.
"If you two are done, we can see if Moe can catch up to Luann." Lisa interjected as she saw Moe have his good feeling vanish from his face.
"Four." Moe sadly said. "It's not fifteen, and it's definitely not twenty-three. It's four. A small percentage of what I needed. Just like the percentage of people I get to pay their bar tabs." He laughed to himself. "Is it time to be Moe the Bartender again?"
"It is only your first roll, and besides you are one space ahead of Comic Book Guy. Maybe you will pass him along the way." Lisa tried to cheer him up, and it almost worked.
"You're right. I will look for him as I ride in my top hat instead of wearing it."
The silver top hat appeared beside Moe and he looked into it to ensure it was empty. "I still picked this because I thought I could wear it." He said to the others while he climbed in.
The top hat started to glide away toward the horizon. "I'll say hi to Comic Book Guy." Moe yelled as he was a distance away from the word 'Go' painted on the ground.
"Here I go. Going this direction. Just me. Alone. With my thoughts." Moe pondered where he was going, how long it would take, and if he would see Comic Book Guy on his path.
A few minutes passed, or what seemed like eternity to Moe. "If moving four spaces takes this long, it may be years until we finish playing this game." He thought to himself. "How old is Burns? Anyways what's another couple of years on his ancient life." A joke helped calm him down as a red building started to come into view.
"I see something, maybe this is where I'm going. Why didn't I see Comic Book Guy along the way?" He asked himself as the red building started to get bigger.
The top hat glided in front of the building and came to a halt. Moe looked around as the red building was all he could see. "I guess this is my destination. There is nothing else here."
"You have arrived at a Special Space." The MyPad said to Moe as it showed him moving four spaces.
"Special!" He exclaimed. "I must be on a good space. Special has to mean good."
He looked around again and looked up this time to read the name of the red building. The sign read: 'Red Blazer Realty', but it looked like a piece of paper that had been hastily glued over something else. This did not seem to bother Moe, as all he noticed was it said realty. "Realty, that's properties. I think I can buy one here. Wonder what fifteen hundred bucks will buy me?"
It seemed that Moe's luck was going to turn around. He entered the building with a feeling of excitement.
Inside was a large room divided into many small cubicles each containing a desk. A receptionist desk was in the front of the room and was the first thing Moe ran into when he entered. A lady on the phone had Moe wait a second before greeting him.
"Hello. How can I help you?" The receptionist politely asked.
"How you doing?" Moe quietly replied. He didn't know how to ask any questions about why he was there. "So..."
"It may be easier if I start the conversation." The receptionist was very cheerful providing answers to Moe. "First, let's start with your name."
"Moe Szyslak. I should probably spell that for you." He said with a slight grin.
"Szyslak." She repeated as she scanned through the calendar laid on her desk. "Szyslak. Ah, here it is. You are Moe Szyslak and you arrived in a top hat. That must have been a nice ride. Let's see today is the twenty-first." She made a few quick notes on her calendar before looking back up at Moe.
"What difference does today make?" Moe questioned. "Sorry, I should ask that nicer. So what if today is the twenty-first?" He tried again, but the second try sounded harsher than the first.
"It's fine. I know what you mean. I just have a few notes that Gil wrote on my calendar this morning." She explained. "He seemed to be in a rush getting back here as if it was very important."
"This game is important. We are playing to win a nuclear power plant." Moe's excitement returned as he had a purpose again for playing.
"I don't know anything about a game or a nuclear power plant." The receptionist started to disrupt his good mood the more she explained. "Our town is run by the hydroelectric dam. It has always provided power. I don't think this is a game either. This is my job and my life. I'm a receptionist."
Moe thought a little charm would help his situation. "What are you doing after work today. We could go back to your place and I'll make you a drink. I am a bartender when I'm not playing this game."
The receptionist chuckled. "I'm sorry, but no." She continued looking at her calendar. "I have a room in the back that I call home. It's cozy. And that's all I need."
"That's only a short walk from here." Moe tried again.
"I'd rather not. Today has been a long day. I got on the job very early this morning after an emergency phone call from Gil. I still have several hours left on the clock, then it's a relaxing bubble bath, a glass of wine, and a good book." She stared at the ceiling behind Moe and thought how wonderful the evening would be later. "I have tomorrow off before coming back to work the next day."
"How about tomorrow?" Moe tried a third time. He thought two rejections could still lead to a date.
"The answer is still no. Besides you will be gone by then." She replied and shot him a glance that meant a final rejection. "You are persistent."
"It happens." Moe shrugged it off and got back to the idea of the game. "I guess I could start over. Hi. I'm Moe Szyslak." He said as he held out his hand as he wanted to shake hands.
The receptionist shook his hand and asked him a confusing question. "Two and two or three and one?"
"I am a bartender. What kind of drink mixture is that?" Moe said the only thing he knew. It sounded like a drink proportion to him.
"It's not a drink. A double or not?" She tried again.
"I'll take a double. This game is confusing to understand and wants me to have a drink." The bartender replied with his drink order.
"It's still not a drink. Show me your MyPad." She looked as it showed the same dice and token moving animation. Three and one. That's all I needed to know."
"The dice. I get it now." Moe seemed nervous as nothing he was saying made any sense, and everything the receptionist asked didn't make any sense either.
The receptionist wrote Moe's name on a name tag and handed it to him. "Place this on your shirt and have a seat in the waiting area over there, and I'll let Gil know you are here. I'm sure you have some questions about properties and money."
"Yes. Lots of questions. I'm glad I came here. I wouldn't have met you if I didn't." Moe tried one last time to charm the receptionist.
"Actually it wasn't your decision to come here. The dice chose that. Actually a random number generator chose that, but maybe after your interview and a seminar, we can discuss that. Since you are staying the night, we have some time." The receptionist changed her mind to spend a few minutes later explaining some of the basic things she knew to Moe.
"Absolutely." His eyes lit up as he sat down and waited for Gil.
The receptionist picked up the phone, talked for a minute, then hung it up. As soon as she put the phone down, another person greeted Moe.
"Good day. You must be Moe. Well, you have to be. It says so on your name tag." The stranger stammered out. "My name is Gil Gunderson. People here call me Good Ol' Gil. You can call me either. So, what can I help you with?" Gil answered in a nervous and confident way.
"This all sounds crazy, even to me. I arrived here in a top hat because I rolled a four on this MyPad." Moe sighed and stopped explaining. "This sounds really crazy. Please tell me you know what I'm saying and it's not me that's crazy."
"It makes sense to me and probably the receptionist." Gil nodded to her. "I've explained everything to her so that she knows what is going on, because it doesn't really make any sense to me. I just got thrown into the job of mayor of this building." He slowed a second to take another deep breath. "I've been here for forty-two years working at that cubicle in the back of the room. Then yesterday I got a promotion from sales analyst to company mayor."
"So, what does a company mayor do?" Moe asked as Gil started to get nervous.
"I don't really know. I was told this morning to attend an emergency meeting and have my full staff here today." Gil slowed explained. "Today had the greatest odds of anyone stopping by."
"As you can see I'm here. Now what do I do?" Moe questioned as he looked back at the receptionist.
She stood up and walked toward Gil and whispered something in his ear, then went back to her desk.
"She's right. I totally forgot." A light bulb flickered on inside Gil's head.
"Forgot what? You don't seem to remember much. How do you know you forgot something?" Moe pointed out.
"That's why I have a receptionist. She remembers everything I don't." Gil continued. "They should have made her mayor, and I could have remained a sales analyst. Anyways they needed my cubicle for a new sales analyst statue, and the receptionist says we should go find it."
The receptionist winked as they both walked past her. "Come back and see me after you are done." She whispered to Moe.
Moe smiled and followed Gil as they walked past row after row of cubicles. He didn't pay much attention to any of the workers until he walked past the last desk and on a board was written 'W. Smithers - Thimble'.
"Hey! Smithers chose a thimble." Moe stopped walking and turned around. "Excuse me. Your board says Smithers and a thimble. What does that mean?"
Gil noticed Moe was no longer beside him and walked back to join him. "This is one of our sales analysts." Gil introduced Moe to him. "Each one of these people is assigned a person in your game, to keep track of your finances."
"Where's mine?" Moe hurriedly asked.
"It won't do you any good. The analyst answered. Today is the twenty-first. It is our first day back to work after a vacation. Finances start today, well actually tonight. We don't have anything yet. But feel free to stop back."
"Shall we continue to my old cubicle?" Gil suggested.
"I guess." Moe was once again disappointed he didn't learn anything.
Once they were walking again, they arrived as Gil's old desk and standing beside it was a statue of Burns.
"This is way they needed my desk. It's a statue of a sales analyst. They just delivered it yesterday." Gil seemed sad that his job was assigned to a statue. "I was told this morning to ensure everyone that stops by my office gets to see this. I have some paperwork to read. Please come see me after you are done. I'm studying to give a seminar about property buying and money management. If you have time, you should come to it."
"I think I have some time." Moe thought more about having time to talk to the receptionist than Gil.
"That's good. Good Ol' Gil needs some people to attend his seminar. I'm calling it: 'How to buy property and have a monopoly'. It's worth attending." Gil had to convince Moe to show up.
Moe thought for a second. "Will the receptionist be there?"
"Yes. She will remind me of everything I forget. I should have sent her to the mayor meeting." Gil laughed as he explained to Moe how the statue worked. "Just make sure to place your MyPad into his hands, and he will take care of the rest."
"Got it." Moe said as he did just that. A yellow hologram Burns appeared beside the statue.
"Greetings and welcome to Red Blazer Realty, formerly known as the Income Tax Space. I will calculate the income tax that you owe and can deduct it directly from your account." The holographic Burns explained. "I'm sorry that a 'Special Space' called Red Blazer Realty can not be bought now."
"He tricked me." Moe said to himself. "I should give him a piece of my mind, but it's probably not his fault." He calmed down as he thought he may be overreacting. "He got promoted and this thing took over."
"I am done calculating your payment. Allow me to explain it to you." The hologram explained. "You currently own zero hotels, zero houses, zero properties, zero mortgaged properties, and currently have fifteen hundred dollars in cash."
"Thanks. Zero everything." Moe sarcastically answered.
"Your best opinion is to pay the ten percent of your net worth as it would be cheaper than the two hundred dollar cash opinion. You payment due is one hundred fifty dollars." The hologram concluded.
"I guess I don't really have a choice." Moe acknowledged the ten percent payment on the MyPad and several receipts printed below the hands of the statue. He grabbed them and read through all of them.
The first one showed the total net worth calculation, which was no more than figuring up ten percent of his initial money. The second one said: 'Tax Receipt' and showed his deduction of one hundred fifty dollars and a new balance of thirteen hundred fifty dollars. The third slip of paper was a reminder to see Gil or the receptionist for the seminar. When he finished reading the receipts, he grabbed the MyPad from the hands of the statue and the yellow hologram disappeared.
Moe's mood lightened as he thought about spending some time listening to the receptionist. "I wonder if the seminar has started yet. Gil walked over this way. I need to find him."
He left the cubicle as the building shook slightly. Loud booms could be heard through the walls. "I still don't like that sound. This building felt like it may fall in and my tax money would be wasted on building repair."
"Moe?" A voice from across the room got his attention. The receptionist was waving at him to join the seminar. "We are ready to start. Just waiting on you."
"On my way. I have time to learn something about real estate and money at your wonderful seminar as it is no longer my turn. Can I still get that double?" Moe asked the receptionist and followed her into the lecture hall.
