Chapter Fifteen – 'Its a math joke'
"Over there is a doll store. I wish I could stop there, and look, an ice cream shoppe. I could go for some mint chocolate chip ice cream during my sunset ride." Smithers said to himself as the thimble glided down the street. "I wonder if this ride will take as long as the one I took to arrive at that arcade."
The thimble continued down the street until it approached an intersection. The traffic light was red, so the thimble stopped. "This thimble seems to know all the traffic laws." Smithers remarked as he watched several cars cross the intersection in front of him.
The traffic light turned green and the thimble turned made a left turn. The new street was still lined with people and more shops, however these shops were all closed. "That other street had stores open, but these are closed." Smithers looked around at all the abandoned stores with Closed signs on the windows and the lights turned out.
The street continued down a few more blocks and stopped at the red traffic lights to allow cross-traffic to pass, and continued through the green lights. The number of people and cars thinned out the further down the side street Smithers went. Eventually the buildings started to get fewer and the people disappeared.
The last building came and went as the street continued. "I guess I found the city boundary." Smithers turned around to watch the buildings getting smaller in the background. He turned back around to see where he was heading. "The sidewalks are still there, and the street is now divided by a grassy median. But I don't see any people or traffic." He rode for several minutes without any of the scenery changing.
Smithers lifted the MyPad. It still displayed the chance card to advance to Illinois Avenue. "If the last move was seven spaces, how many is this?" He took another look around. The old buildings faded into the horizon behind him, as a tall building appeared near the sunset horizon.
"I can see something." As he peered into the distance. "It looks like another building." He got excited as the building started to look recognizable. "It vaguely looks like the nuclear plant. If Burns modeled this after Springfield..." He thought to himself again. "I mean the last place looked like downtown Springfield, so that means..."
Smithers got very excited as he thought he knew where he was. "I am here and that is the power plant ahead. Those are the cooling towers. I just know it." He wanted to jump up and down, but realized that there was not enough room to do that sitting on a thimble.
The building started to get closer and Smithers excitement slowly vanished. "The more I look at it, the less it looks like the power plant, but it looks industrial though.
The thimble made it across the great expanse between the last city and this new building. The closer he got Smithers figured something was going to happen. "There is dark smoke coming from the top, so those must be smokestacks instead of cooling towers. Why can't I just go back to the power plant."
Another couple of minutes passed when the thimble had reached the property line of the tall building. It was outlined by a chain link fence that didn't look too secure. The thimble continued along the street bound by sidewalks, but the median disappeared. He approached the first gated opening on the right, but the gate was down and blocked by a chain link fence was a padlock.
"How is there smoke if the entrance is locked. This makes no sense." He said as the thimble passed the gate and continued on.
The next factory looked similar to the first, and had twice as much smoke coming from the smokestacks. "This one has to be open." But Smithers frowned as the thimble passed another locked fence and gate. But this one had a sign across the gate. 'For future expansion. By Four Houses and a Hotel Construction Company. Contact Barry for more details.' the sign read.
"Who is Barry and what is 'Four Houses and a Hotel Construction'?" Smithers seemed bothered that the two factories he passed had both been closed. "In any case, there has to be an open factory somewhere to look for Barry and get some answers."
The thimble approached the third factory on the right. "One of these has to be where I am going." He paused. "There is only one more factory on the right, and vacant land all along the left." He thought about that statement as the thimble went towards the main gate of the third factory and slowed down. It made the turn and stopped at the security gate. The gate raised and the thimble rode a few more feet and pulled into a parking space.
The computerized voice of the MyPad alerted Smithers that he was finally at his destination. "You have arrived at Illinois Avenue." Then the MyPad displayed a move in which the exact number of spaces could not be determined.
"I guess that is what the shortcut through that side street was for." Smithers frowned as he had no idea where on the board he was sent to.
He dismounted the thimble and took his cautious look around the property. "I would assume if I leave the gate I will probably hit one of those invisible walls again." He looked up and saw a giant billboard on the front of the building. It said 'Root Beer For Sale' in big red letters, but looked suspiciously pasted up there. "That doesn't look right. I guess taking a look inside may provide more answers."
Smithers walked toward the door and glanced down the front of the building. Large silver tanks decorated the front and appeared to be similar to trees. There were several pipes extruding from the building into the top of the tank, and a return path back into the building.
Smithers walked up to them and felt the pipes to see if he could tell what they contained, but not a drop was found. "That wasn't any help. Let me go see what is inside. Maybe this place is just as fun as the arcade."
He tried to open the door, but it was locked. Smithers' excitement had drained. He knocked and waited a minute before someone answered the door. The door opened to reveal a man wearing a suit. "Sorry, I was in my office just filing some paperwork." The man answered. "We are closed today. So is there anything that I need to attend to today, or can it wait until tomorrow."
"I would hope we can figure this out today. It's already been a long day." Smithers replied. "It's almost dark, and I had to wait for the other six players to start, then a random number from a pinball machine sent me here." He tried to explain but it sounded just as weird to him. "Can you help me? I really need some information. The kid at the arcade..."
"I can help. I know what is going on, and I have a lot of information you may find useful. Step inside." The mysterious man said. "You said you had to wait for six other people."
"Yes." Smithers answered.
"So this is a really good thing for you." The man replied as he motioned Smithers inside. "There is no one else working today, as I sent them all home this morning when I had to attend an emergency meeting about your game."
"What can you tell me?" Smithers' excitement returned.
"Come on in. I'll explain where no one else can hear our conversation." The man in the suit answered as they both walked in.
Smithers took a look around as a shocked look went across his face. The inside looked bigger than the outside. There was so much to see. Smithers took a step forward. "Let me turn on the lights." The man said as he hit the light switch with his elbow.
The entirety of the room lit up and even more can be seen. Smithers had a more shocked look, if that was possible. His jaw dropped as he didn't know what to say. "I don't know what to say. It makes root beer?"
"Yes it does and very well." The man answered. "I guess I should introduce myself as I am very proud of this factory. It's not like a normal factory. I really feel like singing to show you around, so we will see what happens to my voice." He started to explain more as Smithers started to ask questions.
"Do you sing?" He asked.
"I don't sing, but based on the scale of this factory, I want to. I'm used to seeing it so it is old hat to me. You seem surprised. By the way, my name is Barry." The man continued. "I'll take you on a quick tour, since there is other business to attend to."
"What other business?" Smithers questioned. "It is game related, or does it affect me?"
"It might. We shall see." Barry answered. "Over to the right is my office. It is where I was when you knocked. The only good thing about the office is the fact that I have root beer on-tap in there."
"So this factory make root beer?" Smithers asked. "I thought it would make real beer the way it looks. The large storage containers out front let it ferment."
"Nope. Just storage." Barry quickly answered.
"It all seems vaguely familiar. What else do you know?" Smithers asked.
Barry looked confused for a second. "Let's go on a tour and your questions will be answered. To the root beer river." Barry said as he led Smithers towards the center of the room.
As they approached the root beer river, Smithers could see the root beer river come from the back wall through a tunnel around an island in the center of the room and back into another tunnel in the back. There were trees everywhere. Smithers noticed some odd things hanging from the branches. They weren't leaves. "Those are candy trees. They grow different types of sweets." Barry said.
"I see that. Is that a plant or is that... is that ice cream? Mint chocolate chip?" Smithers leaned down to take a smell. "It is mint chocolate chip. Can I have some?"
"Sure. Let me grab you a cup to use." Barry pulled a cup from a dispenser attached to a tree. "Did you still want some beer?"
"That would be great." Smithers smiled.
"All you have to do is put some root beer in this square cup, and that will give you a cup of beer." Barry laughed as he said this. He thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Smithers looked confused. "I don't get it."
"Root beer in a square cup. It cancels out. Leaves you with a cup of beer." Barry explained.
Smithers just shook his head. He didn't get the joke, but still filled his cup with ice cream.
"I guess you aren't a mathematician." Barry still laughed at the joke as they approached the river. "If you want a root beer float, let me show you a large root beer float." They both stood at the edge of the river as a ferry came out of the tunnel and pulled up the river bank. "This is my boat: the Root Beer Float. Get it? Root beer float because it's a boat. It floats."
"I get that joke. That one makes sense." Smithers half grinned. "You are full of jokes."
Barry smiled as he stepped on the boat. "Someone has to make me laugh, and I'm the only employee here today." He placed a sailor's hat on his head with one hand as he grabbed the steering wheel with the other. "I'm a man who wears many hats. Right now it's a sailor hat to steer this boat. Earlier it was a mayor's hat, even though it's not a physical hat."
"Mayor?" Smithers questioned with a smile as he boarded the Root Beer Float. "So that's how you know so much. Can you tell me something useful as we ride your float?"
"Root Beer Float not parade float." Barry joked. "I'm sure I can tell you something." He thought for a second. "You have already taken part of a turn. Yes. You would have taken one to get here to the twenty-fourth space using two six-sided dice."
"I did. I drew a card at the arcade." Smithers confirmed. "From a random number from a pinball machine."
"Just be careful with random cards. Most of the cards are not good. Anyways, the island here has the statue on it. You need to find the statue everywhere you visit. They are the key to winning the game." Barry explained.
"Are the statues easy to find?" Smithers wondered. "The one in the arcade was behind the prize counter, and this one is on an isolated island."
"The statues may not be easy to find, so you need to seek out the mayor of each space. Those are the people who know about your game, and can give you information." Barry paused. "We were told to withhold as much information as we could so that the game was played fairly."
"I don't think any game created by Burns can be played fairly." Smithers commented under his breath.
Barry turned the wheel and steered the boat into a turn, and it gently bumped the cliff edge of the island. He jumped off and moored it to a post. "We made it, let's see what the statue can do. You know how to operate it?"
"Yes. I just need to place the MyPad into its hands." Smithers did just that and a green holographic Burns appeared.
"Greetings, and welcome to Illinois Avenue." The holograph said. "This property can be purchased for the price of two hundred forty dollars."
"Is that cheap?" Barry asked Smithers.
"I don't know." Replied Smithers. "I have fifteen hundred..."
The green holographic Burns interrupted them and continued its speech. "The cost of a case of root beer for visitors will be twenty dollars. But be warned, that out of this color group of three properties, one has already been purchased. To further expand this property, a deal must be made to trade something of value. Now make your decision."
"That's new." Barry said. "They didn't mention dealing at the meeting. Maybe there are some aspects to this game I don't even know."
"Burns said this game involved strategy, so I should buy it so someone else doesn't." Smithers figured and pressed the buy button.
"Good choice." The green hologram said and winked to Smithers before disappearing. Three receipts printed out below the MyPad and Smithers grabbed them.
The first said: 'Bill of Sale' and showed his initial fifteen hundred dollars and subtracted two hundred forty dollars, leaving him with twelve hundred sixty dollars. "A small percentage of money. I hope earning more than twenty dollars is possible."
The second said: 'Title-deed'. "I should keep this." Smithers said and looked at the third receipt. It read: 'My turn. Signed CMB'. "What does this mean Barry?" But received no response from Barry. He looked up to remove his MyPad and saw a red holographic Burns standing beside the statue. He took the MyPad and stared at the red Burns. "Who are you?" He asked it.
"The game has been paused." The red holographic Burns replied.
"What do you mean paused?" Smithers questioned.
"I paused the game." A loud voice said that spoke over everything. "Kent Brockman is here to update the public on the status of the game, so I paused the game. I don't want to miss any of the fun. You all can relax a few minutes." Burns said through the loudspeaker.
"The question everyone wants to know. What type of game are they playing?" Kent Brockman asked and could be heard through the loudspeaker.
"Good question Kent. I'll start by saying it's a game with complex strategy, lots of thinking, a few business deals, luck, and surprises." Burns answered.
"Surprises?" Kent seemed shocked that the game had just started and there were already surprises.
"Yes. My very own surprises. They will change the game. Like next turn I introduce into the game..." Burns stopped abruptly. "Oh, blast. Forgot to turn the loudspeaker off. How clumsy of me."
Burns turned the loudspeaker off and an eerie quiet filled the large root beer room. Even the sound of the flowing river could not be heard.
"I don't like the sound of that." Smithers muttered and looked over at Barry, but he did not answer as the world was frozen in time.
