Chapter Sixteen – 'My turn'
"Sorry about that Kent. I don't want to ruin the surprise, and I have plenty of them in store." Burns continued. "I figured to keep it fair, I would introduce a new one every turn."
"How are the six participants doing? How long will this game take before a winner is chosen? Who is winning so far?" Kent started asking non-stop questions as it was his job as a news reporter. "Let's back up a second and start by asking what is your game?"
Burns glanced back at the loudspeaker to ensure it was silenced. "I am an old-fashioned man who played board games growing up. Some of them were just being invented and developed, but one game caught my attention and helped me evolve into the person I am today."
Kent looked more interested and sat back in his chair. "I can not think of many board games that would have been invented when you were a child." Kent thought out loud. "You are one of the oldest residents in Springfield."
"I loved this game ever since I first played it as a little boy. I remember that first time at school. My teacher had meant it as a fun activity of mathematics disguised as a game." Burns reminisced as his thoughts seem to drift through the room. "I remember it like it was yesterday..."
"Yesterday, you selected six citizens to play your game. Can you tell us anything about it?" Kent interrupted as he wanted to know more about the game instead of the story of Burns' childhood.
"I would rather start with the history of the game first, then work my way forward." Burns said impatiently. "It was fourth grade. We had learned how to count to one hundred. Simple addition and subtraction had also been taught. The teacher had set up games at several tables and divided us up among the tables." Burns paused for a moment. "I got to play at table number five. I took my seat and listened as the rules were explained."
Kent listened intently as no one had ever heard this story from the history of the great businessman Burns. "What was the game?"
Burns smiled slightly as he answered. "Monopoly. A great game involving math, business strategy, and being the last man standing."
Kent nodded as it made sense. "That is a game that contains all those attributes."
"Yes it does, Kent. I have always played my life like that game in which I became very good at mathematics, very knowledgeable at business, and strived to be the last man standing. It is what has driven me to become the most successful businessman I can be. I played that game almost everyday to learn how to decide when to buy and when to sell, how to improve properties, and how to bankrupt the competition." Burns smiled as he finished this thought.
"This definitely explains a lot." Kent remarked. "Tell us more."
"Certainly Kent. Many years passed and the more I played the game I relied on strategy and not luck." Burns continued. "The dice only tell part of the story. They represent the randomness of the game, but that can be negated by better business dealing and strategy."
"You keep mentioning strategy. How important is strategy?" Kent asked.
"Very important. It's part of my personality to think several moves ahead, to plan for the future, and always be looking onward and upward." Burns explained. "My game involves strategy, but also some random luck if needed."
"So, your six participants are just sitting around playing a board game? That's not exactly very exciting." Kent asked disappointed.
"To be honest Kent, the seven of them are not just sitting around..." Burns started to explain.
"Seven? I thought there were six!" Bart exclaimed as the family sat in the living room watching the television interview of Kent Brockman and Mr. Burns. "Who is the seventh?"
"I don't know." Homer added. "That isn't fair to Lisa. I wanted her to win. The game started with only six people."
"It's obvious." Marge also added. "Who else do you think Burns would let play without the public knowing."
"Smithers." Bart answered confidently. "That's messed up. Dad do something about it. Burns rigged this game."
"It does seem that way." Homer dejectedly said. "This whole show of selecting six random people, only to have Smithers walk in and win it all. You're right boy, that isn't very fair."
"Then we need to do something about it and stop Burns from just giving the power plant to Smithers." Bart triumphantly said to Homer.
"I knew Burns was up to no good. See, this is why I didn't want any one in this family playing." Marge scolded the other two. "Burns is a very corrupt man, and we should have known this was just for show."
"We have to do something." Bart repeated.
"Yeah, but what can we do?" Homer answered.
Marge, Bart, and Homer sat silently for a moment as the interview continued on the television. "Seventy-five years later this game has become one of the most popular games of all time." Burns finished the lengthy explanation as Kent was starting to doze off. "Am I boring you Kent?"
"Not at all. That was a very detailed story about the history of a board game." Kent laughed as he continued to ask more questions. "What makes your game any more exciting than sitting around a table, rolling dice, and moving a random number of spaces."
Burns smiled as an eerie feeling entered the room. "That's where you are wrong Kent. The six of them are more involved in the game than you think. I would say that they are an integral part of the game." He laughed as Kent picked up the double meaning of this statement.
"What do you mean by that? Wait! I thought you said they were seven players earlier." Kent asked surprised. "This doesn't make any sense. How many people are playing your game?"
Burns sat back as the conversation shifted to him being in control. "I had a last second thought about adding another competitor. I gave him the choice, and he made his own decision to enter the game." Burns continued to smiled. "Why would I not give my long time assistant a chance to inherit my life's work."
"I knew it!" Bart yelled. "It's Smithers. That really isn't fair to Lisa or to anyone else."
"Who says the game isn't rigged that no matter how it's played that Smithers won't win anyways." Marge added. "We have to do something to help our little girl."
"We need a plan." Homer said. "Let's watch the interview some more to see what else Burns says."
They continued watching the television as the camera focused back on Burns. "As I opened my secret room where the game is being played, I thought for a second, and decided to invite Smithers as the seventh player to the game."
"So, the seven of them are sitting in a secret room playing a board game. That is still not very exciting." Kent asked as the interview started to get boring. "Where is this secret room located?"
"Now Kent, it wouldn't be a secret room if I told everyone where in the power plant it was located." Burns explained again. "And they aren't just sitting around playing a board game. They are inside the board game."
Kent Brockman perked up upon hearing this. "Inside? Now we are getting to the good part of the story. Inside a board game located in a secret room?" Something still doesn't make sense. How big is this room, or should I say how big is this game?"
"One question at a time." Burns tried to slow the conversation back down to his speed. "The secret room inside the power plant contains the equipment to be able to send them into the game. For the past two years I have labored day and night to create my game, and then evolve it into its own world." He thought how to describe it to fully capture his vision.
"Its own world?" Kent questioned. "How did you create that?"
"With the help of Professor Frink." Burns countered. "I am only a businessman not a science fiction inventor. Frink handled the alternate universe of the Monopoly world. I merely created the concept." Burns paused because he knew the next question to be asked, but continued before Kent could ask it. "The world is ran just as this world is ran. The citizens live their daily lives not knowing where they are at, or why they are there. It is better that way, so no one will question anything that occurs or interfere with the game. All they know is their own world."
"Sounds like quite the accomplishment for Professor Frink to create a world. Where is he at so I can interview him next to ask him about..." Kent was interrupted by Burns.
"He isn't available for comment. He is busy at the moment, and possibly for a long while." Burns said snidely. "I don't think we have to worry about him." Burns tried to deflect the question, but Kent caught on.
"Why isn't the Professor available for comment?" Kent questioned.
"He just isn't. Let me continue with some of the rules of the game." Burns tried to cover up his last answer. "I have surprises in store, like I said earlier."
Kent tried to back track to the topic of Professor Frink. "Is Professor Frink going to be available tomorrow?"
"I'll tell you this Kent." Burns paused as he thought how to word his statement. "I talked to the Professor yesterday before this game started. He is my in-game assistant to ensure the game runs correctly and there aren't any... unfortunate mishaps." Burns looked Kent right in the eye as he said this.
"Very well then." Kent decided to move on to the next topic. "You had said a minute ago again about surprises. What kind of surprises did you have in mind?"
"I'm glad you asked that Kent, but before I get to the surprise after the first turn, I want to go over some of the rules first." Burns sat back as he took over control of the conversation again. "Most people play the game according to the official rules. The same rules used in tournaments. The same rules that were invited with the game seventy-five years ago. However, I like to add in some of my own rules; rules that are known as house rules." Burns took a notebook out of his jacket pocket and opened it. He flipped a few pages and read silently before continuing. "I am implementing one new house rule per turn. Since all seven players have taken their first turn, I can introduce the first new surprise. A new in-game house rule if you will."
Kent looked toward the camera and started to talk directly to the camera. "What will the first new house rule surprise be for the seven players inside the game? Find out after the commercial break."
"What do you mean commercial? How dare you interrupt..." Burns said as the advertisement played on the television.
"Hi everybody." Dr. Nick said on the television screen.
"Where's that mute button?" Homer said as he picked up the remote control and hit the mute button. "Now, we need to do something. If Burns is changing the rules..."
"We have to stop him." Bart said again. "We have to stop him, and I'm going to keep saying it until we come up with a plan."
"I hate to say it, but I agree with you two." Marge hesitated as she said that. "I don't like confrontation like that, but it's more than the game. It's beating that corrupt man and rescuing our daughter."
"Marge is right." Homer said. "We need to come up with a plan."
"We need to gather some people." Bart added. We can't be the only people in town that see this problem." He thought for a second what a reasonable solution could be.
Marge looked concerned at the discussion that developed. "What if there is nothing we can do. We don't know much about his game."
"We know more than we did before the interview started." Homer reminded Marge. "He said the game is inside a secret room inside the power plant. I work there and know the layout of the different hallways." Homer got lost deep in thought as the gears started turning inside his head. "Maybe some of the guys at work know about any secret rooms. Let's see what else Burns has to say." Homer said as he unmuted the television and Burns continued his speech.
"Is your commercial finished? I guess someone has to pay for the television time." Burns said with an attitude. "Now if I may continue. The first surprise, I mean, house rule I'm inserting into the game deals with Free Parking. I have always liked this house rule, but I'm not here to follow the rules. I'm here to improve upon them."
Kent looked unfamiliar with this rule. "I have to say I am not too familiar with Monopoly. So to me, this doesn't mean much."
Burns shuttered as Kent admitted that. "I guess I will have to explain everything in this game after every turn. Anyways, the standard house rule states that landing on Free Parking gains the player a crisp five-hundred dollar bill. I'm sure you have heard the saying: 'Nothing in life is free'. I am not only giving the five-hundred dollar bonus, but I am also allowing any player that lands on that space to take another turn." Burns placed a check mark in his notebook. "Because nothing works better for business than an economic boost."
"This goes into effect immediately?" Kent asked to confirm. "How do you implement that?"
Burns looked at his notebook. "I go to my master control panel for the game and type in the code: 'Tx01' and it goes from there." Burns placed the notebook back into his jacket pocket.
"How do you know this rule change actually will take effect?" Kent asked again. "You are outside the game. How do you ensure the rules are followed inside the game?"
"That's a good question Kent. I am already three moves ahead of you." Burns smiled his evil smile once again. "I'm not leaving anything up to chance. I have my minions inside the game to protect against rule breaking. There are many of them, in fact one is located on each property."
"Minions?" Kent asked once again as Burns was solely in control of the interview.
"Yes, Kent. I have placed minions in my likeness inside the game to observe and, if needed, interact with the game to prevent anything from happening against the rules, or against the spirit of the game." Burns explained. "You see Kent. This is a competition to win my power plant. People do unpredictable things to gain an upper hand."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Kent asked yet another question.
"Let's just hope it doesn't get to that point." Burns looked directly at the camera. "I wouldn't want to give the order for my minions to prepare for war." Now if you will excuse me I need to go enter the first house rule code. Feel free to wait here." Burns got up and vanished into the darkness.
Kent seemed stunned over what just happened. "You... heard it here... live. House rules and minions that can be prepared for war." Kent collected himself and focused. "Tune in later for another update. This is Kent Brockman signing off."
"War?" Bart nearly screamed.
Homer turned off the television. "We have to get in there. Hopefully my work and bar buddies have some information."
"My little girl..." Marge worried as a tear started to form. "I knew this game was a bad idea."
"We have to get the townspeople involved." Bart stood up and had the attention of his parents. "I can get my school mates to help, and maybe the bullies. They scare Burns. We can meet in an hour inside my tree house."
Marge wiped away a tear. "War. How can a game turn into a war? We have to rescue Lisa."
"You are right. We need to take action." Homer said as he stood up and approached the front door. "Bart, go get your friends and bullies. Marge you get the neighbors."
Marge groaned. "You do realize Ned is in the middle of the game."
"Oh yeah." Homer paused for a second. "As much as I don't like Flanders, I feel I have to help him."
"There you go Dad." Bart encouraged him. "Flanders may be our enemy, but right now we have a bigger enemy in Burns."
"We all need to come together to defeat the evil known as Burns." Marge added. "Now, both of you get moving. Time is wasting and our little girl is stuck in that world and needs our help."
"Right." Homer agreed. "Let's see Lenny, Carl..."
"Just go Homer." Marge scolded him. "You can figure it out along the way. Bart, who are you going to invite?" She looked around as the front door closed and the doorknob clicked into the latch. She didn't see Bart anywhere. "I guess Bart already left. A glass of wine should calm me as I walk to the neighbor's house to try to explain this situation. This whole thing barely makes sense to me." She muttered to herself as she walked into the kitchen. "Don't worry Lisa. We will come find you and bring you home."
