Chapter Eighteen – 'Drawn to scale'
"This is a nice tree house Homer." Lenny complemented Homer.
"Yeah. It looks very sturdy." Carl followed Lenny's complement.
"I hope so. It needs to support as many people as Marge and Bart can find, plus the three of us." Homer answered. "I don't remember how many people could fit in here. Someone told me the number the last time we rebuilt it."
The three bar buddies looked at each other for the answer.
"How many kids has Bart had up here at one time?" Lenny asked.
"I thought he has had like ten kids up here at once." Carl answered.
"I think between the three of us and this case of Duff Beer..." Homer was in deep thought to come up with a number. "We can fit eight more people up here."
Lenny and Carl looked at each other and decided who would be the one to correct Homer. "Homer, I don't think it's a good idea to give any of Bart's friends beer." Lenny suggested.
"And besides that only adds up to eleven people anyways." Carl added.
"Yeah, you're both right." Homer said with confidence. "Which is why I also brought up juice boxes for the kids, and I only have eleven beers because I dropped one when I was climbing the ladder up to the tree house." Homer finished sadly.
The three of them sat silently for a minute and waited for Marge and Bart to get back. They looked around the tree house to think of something to have a conversation about to pass the time.
"I really like the decor in here." Lenny said as he continued to look around the room. "It feels like a child's tree house."
"I think that's the point." Carl added. "It does look like someone took a Radioactive Man comic and tore apart the pages and taped them to the walls. Very clever."
"I was wondering why Bart wanted to buy twenty copies of the same comic." Homer concluded. "Marge and Bart need to hurry up. So who do you think will win Burns' magical game?" Homer asked the other two.
Lenny and Carl looked at each other and waited for the other to start speaking. Neither one knew who should start, so Lenny volunteered to answer. "I think we all agree that Moe should win the game. Then Moe will have more money to upgrade his tavern."
"He could make it better and more modern." Carl added, as he seemed to wait for Lenny to answer everything first. "Then he wouldn't have to borrow money from the mob, or run any of the illegal operations out of the back room."
"What operations?" Homer asked. "I just remember the back room poker games involving Fat Tony. He always seemed to win."
"You know those were rigged Homer." Lenny corrected him. "He was always going to win. Moe got a small kickback from the mob for hosting the games, and storing the six panda bears that were shipped in."
"Oh yeah. Wonder where the panda bears went?" Homer got excited thinking of the pandas.
"Panda bears?" A voice from outside the tree house said. "You are supposed to be making a plan to rescue Lisa, not talking about panda bears." Marge said as she climbed up the ladder and entered the tree house.
Home looked at her and thought. "Maybe we could all dress like panda bears."
"Then what?" Carl asked him. "That's not much of a plan. We need to find out where Burns secret room is. The panda bears may attract too much attention."
Marge had a seat beside Homer. "You went to Moe's didn't you. All you brought back were your beer buddies." Marge said with disgust.
"That's not true Marge." Carl stepped in to defend Homer. "We also asked Barney, but he wasn't coherent enough to climb the ladder up here."
"We are here to help rescue Lisa." Lenny also stepped in to defend Homer. "He knows he can always count on us to help."
"Who did you find to help Marge." Homer taunted as he put his hand up to his eyes and looked around. "I didn't see anyone else come in the tree house with you."
Marge looked nervous after disagreeing with his bar buddies helping, but had nothing to say since she did not bring anyone with her. "I thought about walking over the Flanders house, but remembered that he was in the game." Marge waited for reaction, but the three bar buddies just stared.
"Do we have to help Flanders?" Homer complained. "I don't want to help him. I didn't want Flanders to play anyways." Homer couldn't think of any other reasons to go help Flanders.
"Yeah, isn't Flanders always the one that humiliates you when it comes to Father-Son outings and Evergreen Terrace Yard of the Month." Lenny reminded him before Carl threw in his two cents.
"Yeah, isn't Flanders the guy who always shows how much better he is compared to everyone else, and never has anything bad happen to him." Carl added before Marge stepped in to stop their bad mouthing of Flanders.
"Enough." Marge raised her voice slightly to talk over anyone who wanted to say the next bad thing about Flanders. "He has also helped us so many times. You all just don't see it." She paused for a second as her face started to turn slightly red. "Or you all just choose not to see it. He has helped me so many times when you guys are hanging out at Moe's. I've even helped him, and watched his kids so he can go out on his own."
"Yeah. He does has two kids. What were their names again?" Homer asked as he did not want to remember anything about Flanders.
"Rod and Todd." Another voice from outside the tree house said. "Those two aren't in my tree house are they?" Bart finished climbing the ladder and stepped away from the doorway.
"No, they aren't." Homer told him. "Marge was going to walk over to the Flanders house, but didn't. What about the other neighbors Marge. We have neighbors besides Flanders." Homer said sarcastically. "Who are they again. I don't remember ever meeting them."
"There have been so many people move in and out of that house." Marge explained. "Does anyone currently live there?"
"I don't know." Bart thought. "Who were the last ones to live there?" Bart turned to the doorway and asked Milhouse as he made his way up the last rung and stepped inside. "Hey Milhouse. Wasn't it that crazy donut guy that lived there last? Everything that guy did creeped me out."
"I remember that girl who had a crush on you lived there for a while." Milhouse teased. "What was her name again?"
Bart turned away from the others as he was slightly embarrassed to answer Milhouse's question. "Um, I can't think of her name right this second." Bart tried to dodge the question, but all eyes were on him. "So it's good to see you guys here Lenny and Carl. Wow, is it hot in here all of a sudden?"
"Laura." Said a tougher voice from outside the tree house. "How could you forget that, because wasn't it Jimbo who stole her away from you?" Nelson entered the tree house and sat next to Bart. Nelson elbowed him in the ribs. "Have you heard from her lately Bart? You still have a crush on her?"
"No." Bart plainly answered. "They moved out and are gone. The crush is gone too. Once I saw her and Jimbo Jones together, it was over." Bart just wanted this conversation to go away, but no one granted his wish. "This is why I don't let girls into my tree house..."
"Hi Bart." A higher pitched voice came from outside the tree house. "Hi everyone."
"Maybe one exception..." Bart said before anyone could ask him any questions.
"Hi Bart." A similar sounding high-pitched voice said while entering the tree house. "Hi everyone."
"Maybe two exceptions..." Bart said in a lower voice as the follow-up questions couldn't be avoided now. Everyone stared at Bart not knowing who would be the first to jump at any obvious jokes. "I know exactly what everyone is thinking." Bart looked over at Sherri and Terri as he started to answer. "Well, I first walked over to get Milhouse..."
"We all could have guessed your first stop was to get Milhouse." Marge said sarcastically. "He is your best friend, and his Mom is stuck inside Burns evil world."
"So I guess we can rescue her too." Lenny suggested. "And Moe."
"Yeah. Need to make sure we get our favorite bartender buddy out of harm's way." Carl added.
"I swear the only reason you two are up here is to save Moe." Marge scolded Lenny and Carl. "I'm concerned about Lisa first, and everyone else after that."
"I want to save Lisa as much as Moe, and maybe the van Houten lady." Homer said as he gauged the responses from the others.
Homer looked at the kids and waited to hear their reasoning. "We were just bored and went to the Kwik-E-Mart." Sherri explained. "Terri and I had just left the store and Nelson walked in."
"We sat on the curb just wasting time and drinking a Squishee when Bart and Milhouse came up and asked if we were busy and wanted to cause some trouble with Burns." Terri explained before Nelson took over.
"When I heard the words: 'trouble' and 'Burns', I wanted in." Nelson said. "I'm always looking for a reason to pick on him. He is the worst citizen to ever live in Springfield. I just want to break into Burns Manor. Bart said that would be the first part of the plan."
"Now that we have everyone here. We should go over the plan." Homer suggested. "Anyone have any good ideas?"
"The interview was in Burns' bedroom, so maybe we should start there." Marge pitched the idea to the group. "We would need to break into Burns Manor, but this should be easy since Smithers is inside the game."
They all agreed that without Smithers, Burns was very defenseless. Smithers was Burns long-time assistant, however he is now stuck in the game and can offer no assistance.
"I have an idea." Bart interjected. "I remember some of the layout from living with Burns for a short time. We just need to make it to the center of the house, where the grand staircase is." He wanted to diagram a picture for easier explanation, but couldn't find anything to use.
"Here." Nelson tore a comic page off the wall and handed it to Bart. "There are plenty of these to use."
Bart folded the page in half and stood it up like a tent. "Good idea Nelson. Grab me more pages off of the walls." Everyone turned around and started ripping the comics down. Homer folded several sheets in half to make a fence around the original page. Marge balled up a few pieces to make trees and bushes. Lenny and Carl tried to get more creative and make accurately shaped animal pieces.
"This isn't origami class guys." Marge reminded. "Just make it look close to what we need it to model."
The group finished the mock layout of the grounds complete with fence, two-story manor, and several paths and escape plans. "Now we need a plan." Marge said to the group hoping someone would jump in and decide the perfect plan.
"What if we all went in from behind the house?" Sherri suggested but was shot down by Nelson.
"If we want to break in without being noticed, we have to split up." Nelson said as everyone nodded. It did make more sense to form smaller groups.
"Yeah. How about the kids as one group and the adults as another group?" Terri suggested. "That would make it about even."
Nelson loved the idea of the kids being one group. "I could lead the kids group. I have a natural leadership ability." Bart and Milhouse rolled their eyes. "I do lead several bullies." Nelson said calmly.
"It is true." Milhouse admitted. "You do have that leadership ability over the others."
"Thank you." Nelson seemed amused. "And for that I won't take your lunch money for a week. Besides, you never have enough money on you to buy anything more than those juice boxes the cafeteria ladies hand out everyday."
"Oh, speaking of juice boxes..." Homer turned around and grabbed juice boxes and started handing them to Bart. "Here, take one and pass these around." Homer had grabbed enough juice boxes for the kids plus an extra one. "And this is for you Marge, since you don't like Duff."
Marge groaned as she took the juice box from Homer, and noticed that Homer grabbed three Duff beers and handed them around. "Homer, this is meant to be a meeting on rescuing our Lisa, not drinking night in the tree house."
"That sounds like a great plan." Lenny commented. "We should do that."
"Great plan Marge." Carl also commented. "Hey Bart, which night can we borrow your tree house for drinking night?" Marge shot a glare at Carl to get her true point across. "Oh right. The good idea was making a plan for Lisa... and Moe."
"And Luann." Milhouse added.
"And Comic Book Guy." Bart added. "Don't forget about him."
"And I guess Flanders." Homer added. "I need him to borrow tools from.
"But not Smithers." Lenny added but changed his mind after a look from the others. "Fine. We can rescue Smithers."
"Smithers isn't the enemy. Burns is." Marge reminded.
They all looked around the room a second before Bart spoke up. "There are seven people playing the game." Everyone nodded. "If we are going to rescue those people, who is the seventh?" The conversation stopped at that moment as everyone was lost in thought. "We already named Lisa, Moe, Luann, Comic Book Guy, Flanders, and Smithers. That's only six."
"You're right." Homer agreed. "If no one can think of him, then I guess he wasn't important enough to remember."
The room got silent while the children and Marge took a sip from the juice boxes, and the bar buddies finished off their first Duff. "Hey, Homer. Can you pass me another Duff?" Carl asked.
"No more beer." Marge demanded. "We still have to come up with a plan. I believe Nelson's idea of splitting up into smaller groups is the best suggestion. Does anyone else have any other ideas?"
Everyone agreed with Nelson's plan. Bart and Marge balled up more pieces of comics to represent all the people sitting in the tree house.
"Knowing Burns Manor, I suggest that we go in through opposite ends of the property." Bart suggested and picked up four pieces and placed them on the east side of the fence. "There is a damaged section of fence on that end. Burns was too cheap and lazy to ever fix it. He just taped it up."
"How will we find it?" Homer asked to confirm the plan.
"Duh. It's the one held together by tape." Nelson said to make Homer feel dumb for having asked that question.
"Oh right." Homer looked away in embarrassment.
"All of the kids..." Bart picked up five pieces of the comic and place them on the west end of the property. "Will go in through the small hole in the bottom of the wall. It's still there, but Burns planted a bush in front of it to try to hide it."
"The kids can fit through it, but the adults can't." Milhouse said.
"Thanks Milhouse." Lenny looked at him, and thought he was making a sarcastic joke.
"After everyone is through the fence. Have the adults go to the back corner. There is an entrance into the basement." Bart showed by moving the adults comic pieces. "There is a fake rock outside with a key. Open the door and find your way through the basement and up the stairs to the main floor, then to the grand staircase."
"Sounds good." Marge agreed. "I'll be in charge of the adults to ensure we do this right."
"Kids." Bart continued. "We will go through the wall and toward the west end." He pushed their comic pieces toward the Manor. "There is a window that doesn't latch correctly. We can enter the house through there, then find our way through the rooms, and down the hallway, and meet the adults at the grand staircase."
"Then what?" Homer asked.
"Then we all go up the grand staircase to Burns' bedroom." Bart finished.
"Anyone have any better ideas?" Marge asked one last time. No one answered. "Well then. Let's all start heading to Burns Manor."
They all stood up and the kids started down the ladder. Homer picked up the Duff and started his descent down the ladder.
"Homer." Marge said in a disgruntled voice. "You aren't taking that beer with you..." At that moment a loud glass breaking crash was heard.
"Don't worry Mom. That's not a problem anymore." Bart teased.
"Ha ha." Nelson added.
"D'oh!" Homer exclaimed as he finished his decent. "I guess we go to Burns Manor Duffless. See you kids there."
