Chapter Twenty-seven – 'Up the stairs we go'
"I heard it too." Milhouse said as he followed Bart down the hallway where the noise originated from. "Wonder who it is?" He asked as a large blow landed on the back of his shoulder.
"It's obvious who it is. Who do you think it is?" Nelson said as he punched Milhouse for asking a dumb question. "There isn't anyone else in the mansion besides us and the adults. So if all five of us are standing here, take a wild guess who is coming down the hallway from the opposite end."
Sherri and Terri giggled in unison as they heard another noise coming toward them.
"Stupid table with its stupid vase." A voice greeted them. "I would have expected Milhouse to give us away sneaking around the mansion." Homer stepped into the light so he could be seen. "That hallway is too dark." He looked behind him as Marge, Lenny, and Carl also emerged from the darkened passageway.
"We all made it here and that's all that matters." Marge reassured as she walked past the children and towards the grand staircase. "Everyone made it inside and I don't hear Burns walking around, so let's go find him."
"He is probably sleeping..." Lenny started as he approached the staircase.
"He is an old man and it is past his bedtime." Carl finished as he paced behind Lenny.
The children stood next to Homer as he whispered to them. "Do you know your way around here. I don't want to be the one that ruins this chance. Haven't you all broken in here before?"
"I don't know what you are talking about." Nelson innocently said. "I would never do such a thing."
"Even I don't believe that." Bart added. "I remember some of the layout, but not much upstairs. I stayed in a spare room that was between Smithers and Burns."
"That room will be empty." Sherri reminded.
"Along with Smithers room." Terri echoed after her sister.
"Let's just go." Nelson shrugged as he reasoned with them. "We aren't going to find anything standing around here. Staircase is back this way." Homer and rest of the children followed Nelson back to the grand staircase.
They all gathered at the foot of the staircase and stared up at it, and tried to see what was down the hall. Everyone was lost in thought about where to go since it was already a trip just getting to this point.
"What do you think is up there?" Milhouse questioned as he looked. "Do you think there could be typing monkeys, human chess pieces, or a bottomless pit?"
"What are you talking about? Obviously it's huge wine barrels, expensive paintings, and theater actors." Homer corrected Milhouse. "Didn't you come the way we came?"
"We took our own way." Nelson answered louder than Milhouse. "That's what we saw. This place is too strange for me, and that's why I would not break into here before tonight."
"Same here. Too strange, but I would like to see the typing monkeys." Lenny thought how entertaining a typing monkey could be. "What were they writing? I bet it was something epic and exciting."
"I don't know. I don't pay enough attention in school to know what it meant." Bart said while Marge frowned. "Blame Skinner and our school. We read the same textbooks and stories year after year. Maybe next year will be different."
"Unlikely." Homer interjected. "I'm just glad they are teaching you something useful."
"Can we just go up the stairs and argue about the school system later. Besides, I don't have anything to add and Lisa would. So we should find her, because that's why we are here in the first place." Marge informed everyone as they followed her lead up the stairs.
Homer got the attention of his bar buddies and got a small laugh from them. "One small step for me. One giant leap..." He jumped down the first couple stairs. Marge stopped half way up the stairs and turned to face them. "I think she heard." Homer whispered, trying to cover up the meaning for the laughter. "She doesn't look happy."
"No. I am not happy. I just came here to find my little girl. You all think this is a joke, but I'm really worried. What if something happened to her." Marge seemed upset thinking about the worst things that could have happened to her.
"You're right Marge." Lenny said before Homer could say something else.
"We should be more serious and look for Burns. But it's not everyday I get to break into his mansion and roam around. We can find Burns and enjoy the tour at the same time." Homer defended himself.
Marge frowned again, but took anything she could that meant moving forward. "Up the stairs and we can move on."
The whole group ascended the grand staircase and looked around at the few opinions they had. The area at the top of the stairs was dimly lit and led to a hallway on both sides.
"Should we split up?" Bart asked. "It worked a little in getting here."
"I think we should stay together at this point. Milhouse disagreed with any plan of the nine people going in separate directions. "Some of the crazy things we have all seen, let's just stick together."
"I'm not agreeing with you, but I also think we should." Nelson said as he took a few steps towards one of the hallways. "So now where?" He asked as he arbitrarily picked a hallway and started down it.
"Follow him. Right idea Nelson. Just jump in, take the lead, and make a decision." Carl cheered from the back of the group. "It isn't doing us much good to just stand here and discuss it."
Nelson lead the way down the hallway and looked into a few rooms. "These seem like really random rooms. It doesn't look like anything is in here, but most are too dark to see." He told the rest of the group.
"How can we tell which room is the bedroom we are looking for?" Lenny asked from the middle of the group. "I mean, won't the bedroom have Burns in it?"
"It should have Burns in it, and Kent Brockman." Marge reasoned with them. "Kent doesn't seem to be going anywhere while he has access to interview."
"Yeah, you are right. Maybe Brockman can tell us how to get into the game." Bart added. The plan made sense to see if Brockman had been told more about the game than what he broadcast on the television. "I bet he knows something. Something useful that can probably help us."
They followed Nelson further down the hallway as each had their own ideas about where the secret room could be located. Room after room they peeked into, and each room was too dark to tell if it was any use. "I think I can see something in this room. Looks like it is something we are looking for." Nelson said as he entered the room and searched for a light switch.
"Maybe if we turned the lights on in the rooms, we could see better. I know at home, I turn the lights on before I enter a room." Milhouse urged. "It helps to see what is in the room before going in."
"That's because you are scared of the dark." Homer teased him. "Scaredy cat Milhouse. Afraid of the dark. Let's find him... Dolls!" Homer shrieked as the lights came on in the rooms. "Why are all the dolls staring at me?"
"Dolls? I didn't know Burns had a daughter, or maybe a granddaughter." Bart questioned upon seeing the shelves displaying hundreds of dolls.
"I know why this is a room full of dolls." Sherri teased the others.
"Don't you all remember the news story about Smithers and the Malibu Stacy collection?" Terri finished.
The adults looked at each other as confusion set in. "I thought Malibu Stacy was a girl's toy, like little girl's toy." Carl asked. "Then how could this be Smithers' room. It just doesn't make any sense."
"I remember that story. It turns out that Smithers has the largest collection in the world and he also writes the monthly newsletter." Lenny explained as a sigh of relief came over everyone.
"And I thought that was weird for a second." Homer said under his breath. "So what are we looking for in here, besides two hundred eyes staring at me."
"Maybe there are clues in here since he is in the game. Burns only drew six names, so maybe he knew all along he would get to play." Marge thought as everyone started going through drawers, looking under the bad, and even behind all the dolls.
Homer picked up a few, looked behind them, and gently set them down.
"Nothing behind here." He said as he placed the dolls down less gently. "I'm going to join Milhouse as these dolls are starting to creep me out."
"Who's the scaredy cat now?" Nelson laughed as Homer walked over to join looking through a closet full of suits and shoes.
They all continued to look until every possible hiding place was searched. Nothing could be found after a tornado appeared to have blown through the assistant's room.
"There has to be a clue somewhere." Marge pleaded to Homer. "Did we look under the bed, or behind the dresser, or what about hidden panels in the closet?"
"Smithers may not have known. He may be innocent..." Homer admitted even though it didn't feel right.
"Just another pawn in the human chess game of life." Milhouse stated before he was interrupted by the older bully.
"Don't you start that again. It was tough enough getting through there without you nerding it up." Nelson said directly to him, but realized they wouldn't have made it this far without the knowledge of games Milhouse possessed.
The adults left the room and continued down the hallway. The kids were shortly behind them. A few more rooms were passed with nothing to be gained. The group turned a corner and saw a very large dimly lit room.
"What's this?" Lenny asked as he could see a lamp casting its light on a table full of papers. "This room might be worth looking into."
"I agree." Carl said as they found a light switch and illuminated the room. Wow. This room looks important."
"It looks like a study, and someone has definitely planned in here. Papers, maps, drawings, and posters..." Marge got excited because this is what they were seeking.
"Anyone know what any of this means?" Homer said as he looked through the stacks of notebooks sitting on a coffee table. "This one is labeled 'rules'. This red notebook is labeled 'Special Rules'." Homer gasped as he picked up the black notebook. "This one says 'War Plan'."
Marge and Milhouse both gasped upon hearing him say that. "We have to get into the game to save her." Marge sadly said. "We have to save our little girl. We can't let Burns get away with his plan."
Milhouse looked up at her. "We need to save her too. I thought you meant my mom." He looks slightly embarrassed when the others heard this.
"I thought the one you were referring to earlier was Lisa." Bart interjected but looked disappointed. "So you were talking about Luann. I thought for sure you would want to save Lisa. I thought you had a crush on her." He teased.
"Well..." Milhouse started as Homer walked over with the notebooks in his hand.
"Milhouse and Lisa sitting in a tree." Homer sang.
"Homer! You are going to scare the boy." Marge scolded him.
Loud conversation came from the other side of the room and stopped the debate about which person was more important to save from the game.
"These pieces won't move." Sherri tried to take a turn at the game on the table. "It's like they are glued to the board."
"And the money is glued too, and so are the cards, and..." Terri finished as Marge and Homer walked over.
"Hey Homer. Look what we found. It's a Monopoly game on this table, and it seems like there is a game in progress." Carl pointed out as they all studied the board.
"So much information can be learned from this." Lenny suggested. "Does anyone think this is the current game. There are seven pieces on the board and seven players."
"It seems that the game just started since all the houses are in the box, along with most of the cards." Milhouse said. "Most of the money still seems to be in the box..."
Nelson started to get upset, but was interrupted by the others. "If we plan on getting into the game to save everyone, we are going to need his knowledge." Carl informed them. "How many other people have any experience playing this board game."
"I've played it once, but that was at a late night at the bar." Lenny answered. "But the board looks different, and I don't remember there being any money involved."
"Then it probably wasn't this game." Marge disagreed with him. "And if it was at the bar, I can probably guess it would not have been a game involving thinking and decision making."
"So anyone besides Milhouse ever play this game?" Carl asked again and the others just looked around shaking their heads. "Then I guess inside the game we will need to let the boy lead us if we want any chance of rescuing our friends and escaping."
They all stared at the board for a second to figure out if it was telling them anything they needed to know, but this was impossible without knowing more details. "What do the notebooks say?" Marge asked Homer as he flipped through them.
"I don't know. I can't read a lot of this handwriting. It is so bad, like a baby wrote in here with a crayon." Homer replied as a puzzled look came over him. "Nothing is readable. How would Burns even read this?"
"Maybe it's time to find Burns." Sherri suggested.
"Not many rooms left up here. Let's go." Terri added as she and her sister started to leave the room.
"They are right. It's time to find the old man and have him explain to us what is going on, and to let us in to help." Nelson meanly said. A look of determination crossed his face as he exited.
"We should take this with us. We should just take everything with us and go find Burns and show him that we know what he is doing." Bart emphatically said as he ripped down some of the posters. "Help me gather everything up that we can carry."
"The board doesn't move." Carl sadly muttered. "It's like it is glued to the table along with everything. So we may need to reference this in here."
"Unless we can just take the table with us." Lenny tried to lift the table, but it wouldn't budge.
"So much for that idea." Homer scoffed. "The table must be glued to the floor."
"Or it is too heavy to carry for no reason." Marge corrected. "Let's just go find Burns." She followed the rest of the group out of the room and continued down the last hallway.
A few more rooms down, everyone slowed down as they heard a voice. Nelson held his arms out to block the hallway so no one could pass him. "You all hear that? It sounds like Burns."
"It does." Marge excitedly whispered. "Slowly without knocking anything off of any tables." She glared at Homer.
"You knock over one vase..." Homer started. "Quiet. Got it." He tiptoed with the others toward a slightly cracked door. Inside it was brightly lit and a little stream of light shone through the doorway.
The voices got louder the closer they got until one voice was recognizable. "What can you tell everyone about the game. Has anything changed since the last time I spoke with you?" One man asked.
"Glad you asked Kent. The game is progressing exactly as planned. I am ready to see where the game goes from here. I have many more surprises to introduce into the game. I haven't begun to show off the true potential of my game yet. I have another trick up sleeve for... I swear I'm going to give away secrets leaving that loud-speaker on." The other man recited.
"It's Kent Brockman and Burns. We found them." Bart said under his breath. "Let's barge in and demand to be in the game."
Marge grabbed the back of his shirt to restrain him. "No. We need to find out what we can before confronting him. So we wait here and listen."
"Good plan. Then we can corner him." Nelson wanted nothing more than to burst into the room.
"Maybe, but for now we need to eavesdrop and learn. Then we can break in and save our little girl." Marge reasoned.
"And my big girl." Milhouse embarrassingly added. "I meant let's wait here and listen."
