Chapter Thirty-four – 'Bad to worse'
"I thought I told you to stay away from this place." The Warden greeted Jasper as the security gate closed behind his battleship. "And before you ask, Salisbury Steak day is not today. In fact, it is on the menu for tomorrow."
"Well, that just makes me early for my favorite dinner." Jasper countered. "You know older people love being early for things and love their Salisbury Steak."
The security guard looked confused as he handed the MyPad to The Warden. "I'll move the battleship to the storage area behind the yard. Anything else sir?"
"That is all. I've got this situation under control." The Warden informed everyone. "Follow me please." He led Jasper down the path towards the large stone cube. "The boys will be glad to see you again. So tell me how it happened. How did you end up back at the jail so early in the game?"
Jasper was surprised The Warden was treating him like a prisoner but also like a friend. "Bad luck I guess." He thought about his moves so far in the game. "My first stop was here visiting. After I left here, my battleship drove me to a bank. I went into the vault, picked a random lockbox, went back to the statue, then the police stormed the building."
The Warden intently listened to his story. "That sounds... unfortunate." His tone was unforgiving. "I didn't make the rules... I just enforce them." He looked at Jasper's sad look. "It's only temporary. Think of this as an opportunity to take a break for a day." The Warden liked Jasper more than the other inmates so he shared a piece of advice with him. "I'll tell you what I thought of during the mayor meeting before the game started if you are interested."
"If it helps me play the game, I'll listen. I'm not going anywhere right now anyway." Jasper replied.
"It's a strategy I was informed of that may be useful later in the game. Jail is a place you typically don't want to end up, however, while in here you can still collect money and not risk landing on other owned properties." This intrigued Jasper as The Warden spoke. "In the beginning stages of the game this is a bad strategy, but later you all will be wishing you were here."
The Warden continued his what-if scenarios involving land values he could remember, cost versus time analysis for overnight stays, and even electronic dice theory. Jasper kept pace with him as they reached the outer structure of the Jail.
"I hope all of my information was useful. You would be wise to remember it. Have a good day." The Warden wished as he walked into the stone building.
"I can help you over here." A voice said from behind a glass divider in the lobby. "We can get you quickly registered and hopefully you will be paroled today, if not tomorrow will be your release date."
Jasper thought about the Salisbury Steak calling his name tomorrow but also wanted out of this place sooner rather than later. "If I get out today, can I take my steak to go?"
The receptionist shook his head slowly. "I think the cafeteria food is for current inmates only and I wouldn't recommend it even if you are here." His disgusted look of the prison food gave Jasper more motivation to get out of there today. "Just a second while I pull up your information..."
"I'm kinda in a hurry even if I don't look like it. Salisbury Steak can wait. I need to jump back on my battleship and leave." Jasper pleaded with the receptionist.
"Have a seat and I'll be right with you. The computer is still processing your information." The receptionist knew he had authority over the visitors, but maintained his composure.
"The Warden said there was a possibility I could get out on parole today. Are you the one who can help me escape and continue my game?" Jasper asked another question toward the glass divider.
The receptionist pressed his face against the glass. "Sir, I'm just a receptionist, not an officer of this jail. Someone will be with you shortly who can answer your questions."
Jasper stretched out in a chair in the lobby and waited. He looked at his watch as the minutes ticked by. "Wonder how everyone else is playing the game? I haven't gained anything so far, but I haven't lost anything either though." He thought for a second. "If I had the MyPad maybe I could check, but it was taken at the gate."
A few more minutes passed as Jasper grew impatient waiting for the next step and the receptionist nudged the computer to persuade it to search faster.
"The computer isn't loading, so I'll have to enter your information manually." He looked annoyed at the situation. "The Warden said we should expect seven visitors, and we prepared for such. Remain seated while I grab someone to help." The receptionist stood up and left out the back door.
Jasper propped his feet up on the coffee table and kicked a magazine onto the floor. The room was silent enough for him to close his eyes and fall asleep. Snoring filled the room as the receptionist returned. He pounded on the glass several times. "No sleeping in the lobby!"
"I just needed a quick nap." Jasper yawned as he stood up.
"The Warden did say this will be a very long game." A new voice in a solid black uniform added. "Come with me and I'll get your information so we can proceed." He led Jasper through the security gate and down the hall into another room.
"Is this all part of the process?" Jasper asked. "I guess you have played this game before."
"Game?" The uniformed man snarled at Jasper. "You think this is all a game?" Jasper's voice quieted as they entered another room. "Actually it is a game. I thought a bit of seriousness mixed with sarcasm would fit me well. What do you think?"
Jasper took a look around the room filled with mugshot posters and large fingerprints scattered along the walls. There were many desks with machines and cameras pointed at every square inch of the room. "This seems too real for a game."
"It's very real indeed. But don't worry, everyone will end up here sooner or later. It's only a matter of time." The uniformed man was very serious in his words. "Now let's get you registered and give you a free chance at parole today. Follow me." He led Jasper to a desk at the far end of the room. "You may have a seat in the chair."
As Jasper sat, the man started with his series of questions. Some were basic and some Jasper didn't know.
"Name and symbol?" The man asked.
"Jasper Beardly." He replied before stumbling. "Symbol? Haven't thought about that in a long time. I believe I'm a Pisces..."
"That's good to know, but that's not what I'm asking." He was half amused and half annoyed. "Symbol as in game token." He thought for a second. "What vehicle did you arrive in?" He asked differently to get the answer he wanted.
"The best way to travel over the seas on an Iowa class Battleship I call The Missouri. Back in the days of the great war, I was stationed aboard her, and we did several war patrols. I remember the very first time we..." Jasper started a long-winded war story before the uniformed man interrupted him.
"There will be more time for sea stories later. Battleship. Next question. How much money and property do you currently own in the game? Did you keep any of your receipts? We need this information for tax, property, and bankruptcy purposes." He pulled out a green form and waited for Jasper to answer.
He thought about his game and the bad luck he had endured so far. The memories of visiting the jail followed by being arrested at the bank were fresh in his mind. "I don't believe I have earned any money yet. Should I have?"
"None? Is that even possible? How many turns have you taken?" He asked Jasper more questions before he answered the last round.
"Well let's see. I started and visited the jail, then went to a bank, and then ended up back here at the jail. I'm not sure not much money I have. I didn't know you could buy property either." Jasper felt very far behind the power curve for the game.
"Everyone started the game with fifteen hundred dollars. So if you have accomplished nothing so far, I'll just write down fifteen hundred dollars and zero property." He pushed the paper towards Jasper with a warning. "By signing here you acknowledge the information given is to the best of your knowledge and any misinformation whether intentional or accidental is punishable by law."
Jasper signed and initialed the form as the man stood up and prepared a fingerprint machine for use. "Since your MyPad has been confiscated, we do everything by fingerprint." He dipped Jasper's fingers one-by-one into the ink and rolled them on the paper. "You are all set for the day."
"Am I free to go?" Jasper cheerfully asked.
"No." The man coldly responded. "We are just done with the intake. I shall lead you to a holding cell before The Warden takes you for your free parole chance. Enjoy your stay." The man led Jasper further down the hall and placed him in a holding cell.
The holding cell was as Jasper imagined. A six-foot by six-foot stone closet with bars on the front side. It was nothing fancy from the outside but the last inmate rigged up a hammock out of a bed sheet and two metal pegs sticking out of the wall. "I could take a long nap in here..."
He pondered jumping in the hammock when a voice called for him through the wall.
"Hey! New guy in the cell! I'm talking to you!" The voice was loud enough for Jasper to hear but not the guards. "Over here through the vent." Jasper approached the vent and listened carefully. "A few nights ago, me and some other guys tried to escape from the jail. It's not as heavily guarded as you think. I can tell you our grandiose plan and how we were caught, just in case you ever need it. Before I begin, listen to these words as they are more powerful than my story: Don't trust The Warden."
Jasper was surprised to hear this. "The Warden seemed like he was my friend during the tour and when I returned. Why can't I trust him?"
The voice continued. "The Warden runs this jail his way and will lie, cheat, and steal to keep it that way. You didn't hear this from me..." Jasper was all ears as this mysterious voice began the story. "Everything around here was normal up until a week ago. We served our time, ate bad prison food, and chatted with the guards. One guard spilled the beans about an epic game being played and the jail was going to be a location in it. This made The Warden very happy to show off his jail. He declared himself the mayor which upset the inmates."
"The game I'm playing." Jasper obviously interjected.
"Yes. It gets worse." The voice admitted. "A large riot started over the unfair selection, meaning self-appointment, of The Warden as the Jail's mayor, so he declared a democratic vote would be taken of all the inmates and staff to elect a mayor for this game."
"But it appears The Warden still won." Jasper pointed out the obvious again.
"Yes. It gets even worse. Sideshow Bob amongst other inmates campaigned to gain votes from other inmates. The staff was outnumbered in voting and Sideshow Bob was projected to win..." The voice faded for a minute. "No one knows exactly what happened, but The Warden collected more votes than Sideshow Bob. He beat him by five votes. That's all they told us. Many of the inmates think their votes were never counted which may be true, however, there are seven jail staff, so my thinking is The Warden should have won by seven votes, not five." The voice finished his thought and didn't say another word.
"Great story whoever you are. What should I call you?" Jasper asked through the vent but no answer came.
The seconds turned into minutes with no activity inside or outside the holding cell. "I guess now would be a good time to take a nap." Jasper told himself as he climbed into the hammock. Silence filled the air as he dozed off waiting for The Warden to get him as promised. He wondered if the story was true he was just told. The Warden in the story and The Warden who greeted him seemed like two different people.
"Open Holding Cell Five!" A familiar voice yelled from the other side of the bars. "You've been in here for twelve minutes." The Warden reminded him. "Like I said earlier, it's going to be a long game so sleep when you can." He repeated the same advice before ordering Jasper out of the cell. "Follow me for your parole chance."
Jasper did as he said and left the cell. "Thanks for the story." He spoke towards the vent.
"What story are you talking about?" The Warden asked as they made the twists and turns of the corridors and ended up standing out a solitary cell. "The inmates love to tell stories about me most of which are fabricated out of rumors overheard in the lunchroom." The Warden continued defending himself and his staff. "I wouldn't listen to the stories and rumors are most of them are outlandish and ludicrous. You would do your best to trust me and my guards.
Jasper had lived a life of trusting his friends and caretakers so this would be similar. "I will. Where are we?"
"Just outside the cell containing the statue. Welcome to your chance of parole." The Warden motioned to the guard to open the door where the statue and his MyPad were on display. "I am a very fair and reasonable person but this game has its own rules. You get one roll in which you must roll doubles to be set free right now. One in six chance for parole. It's a slim chance but it's something. Now enter."
He listened to The Warden and entered the cell. The MyPad lit up as a black hologram appeared beside the statue. "Greetings and welcome to the happiest place in the world: The Jail. Touch the MyPad to continue. Good luck." Jasper stepped up to the statue and touched the screen. Loud booms faintly echoed as the MyPad displayed a nine. "Better luck next time." The hologram sneered before disappearing and the MyPad screen going blank.
"Is that my turn?" Jasper questioned as a guard and The Warden entered the cell.
"Place your hands behind your back, sir." The guard ordered Jasper. "No sudden movements and there won't be any trouble." He handcuffed Jasper and proceeded to take him down familiar hallways as a large multistory room came into view.
"I remember this from the tour/" Jasper announced. "I guess I'm staying the night instead of being paroled."
"That is correct." The guard confirmed as he removed the handcuffs. "You are the only one here from the game. I'll tell you what since I'm a nice guy... you may select your own cell."
"Thanks." Jasper had a quick thought before the guard left. "I haven't eaten all day. Could you bring me a Salisbury Steak?"
The guard locked the door and spoke through the bars. "Kitchen may be closed but I'll see what I can find."
"The Salisbury Steak is intriguing yet unfulfilling. A whimsical mix of beef, mystery meat, and mushed up cat food." Jasper knew someone was standing behind him. "He says he is your friend but I say otherwise."
Jasper slowly turned around to an explosion of high-class words and frizzy hair.
"Let me introduce myself. My parents named me Robert Terwilliger..." He extended his hand to shake. "But everyone around here calls me Sideshow Bob." His evil grinned was visible underneath the hair. "The stories you hear are all true."
"But The Warden..." Jasper started before Sideshow Bob held up a finger to be quiet.
"The stories you hear are all true. The Mediocre Prison Riot of Last Week, The Mysterious Mayor Vote, and The Almost Great Escape. The Warden can not be trusted even if he appears to be your friend." Sideshow Bob was very convincing. "You are now one of us, one of the many inmates who serve time here with no opportunity of parole."
"I had a chance today according to the game rules." Jasper admitted.
"However though, you are still here. Don't believe the game rules as they can be changed at a moment's notice." Sideshow Bob explained some rules Jasper didn't know. "One of the guards is on our side and told me what happened at the mayor's meeting since I was not voted mayor, somehow."
The situation still stung Sideshow Bob. "What exactly happened?" Jasper asked him.
"Nothing here is as it seems. I say again: Don't trust The Warden." Sideshow Bob was very serious in his statement. "The Warden will ruin your chance at winning and since you are stuck in here he is probably messing with your game as we speak."
"How can you be so sure?" Jasper was full of questions as Sideshow Bob tried explaining many scenarios which have played out in his head. "I should be safe in here as long as they let me take my turn when it comes up."
"That is the beauty of all this. You play using the MyPad which you do not possess right now..." He explained. "And before you say only you can access it, that is no longer true. You gave that up when they fingerprinted you earlier. Am I correct?"
Jasper kicked himself for not stopping the process. "That did happen." Many bad thoughts went through his head at that moment. "This is bad for my game."
"Actually this is worse for everyone, not just you. The Warden now has access to the inner workings of the game, and we are trapped like rats in a sinking ship." Sideshow Bob began his rant and paused as more loud booms echoed across the roof.
"Dinnertime." The guard yelled into the multistory room. "No Salisbury Steak but I found you part of a meatloaf and baked carrots. Enjoy." He slid the food into the room and left Jasper and Sideshow Bob to have a long conversation.
"Pull up a chair and eat your spongeloaf as I tell you story of the Jail, the Escape, and the crooked mayor.
"After your story can I take a nap as I'm may be here for a long time." Jasper wondered as sleep triumphed food and friends.
"Yes you may. It all started with an announcement exactly a fortnight ago..." Sideshow Bob started as Jasper's eyes slowly shut.
