Chapter Fifty – 'Into the unknown'
"Welcome inside my prized possession." Burns greeted the six citizens brave enough to confront him. "This is a place where many do not get to tread..."
"I do." Homer interrupted him. "I'm here five to six days a week."
A shockwave went through Burns as he heard this. His speech was meant for the people who didn't work here. "I realize that, but there are others here who have not seen the glow from the hot rock."
The hallway was quiet until... "Kent Brockman here, reporting live inside Springfield Nuclear Power..."
Burns jumped in front of the camera as quick as he could, which was slow motion for anyone else. "Absolutely not, Brockman." He scolded him. "I don't need to give the Department of Energy a sneak peek into the life and times of the aging plant."
"Cut the feed." Brockman told his cameraman. "We can wait until we get to his office." This would be the story of the century: a look inside the crumbling power plant.
Burns had the money to fix the problems, but figured once he handed it over to the winner of the game, it would be their problem at that point. He took one more look around to ensure no one else was breaking his rules.
The tour continued down the long hallway. There wasn't much light the further they walked. The only ambient light was from the glow of...
"Is that nuclear waste dripping from that overhead pipe?" Quimby asked as he sidestepped a drop. "Is that supposed to be there?"
"I don't see anything..." Burns quickly countered. "The plant is old, so it has a little glow to it from the..." He thought of a good cover, but everyone stopped at the first dripping pipe.
"This pipe has always leaked." Homer admitted. "You should see some of them near the breakroom. Those create a river we have to step over. One time we actually built a bridge..."
"Let's not spoil all the surprises on the tour." Burns told to calm Homer down. "There are plenty more leaks and waterfalls along the way."
They continued under the first leaky pipe, around the second one protruding from the wall, and the third oddly placed pipe sticking directly out of the floor. For some odd reason, this pipe dead-ended three feet above the floor. Why the designer would draw the plans for the system to have an inaccessible pipe end in the middle of a corridor, no one ever knew.
The ambient glow got brighter from several more pipes leaking the fluorescent green coolant into the walkway. "Is this dangerous to my health?" Wiggum questioned.
"Not as bad as eating three cheeseburgers a day." Burns replied. "Nuclear power is complete safe." It was time to show them the coolest trick up his sleeve. "Anyone want to see me drink a glass of reactor coolant?" Everyone shuddered at the idea of putting the neon green liquid down their throats. "There once was this guy who was brave enough to drink coolant in front of..."
"I've the story from one of Homer's rambling at a company function, but I don't actually believe that." Marge interrupted.
"That just sounds like a bad idea, and I work here." Homer added.
"To each their own." Burns testified. "Maybe that is the secret to living to one hundred: a warm cup of the green stuff every morning."
No one else agreed and started to walk faster to see what other secrets awaited them. They were opening the distance between them and Burns. A few more steps and there was a decision to make as the hallway came to a split. There was a choice to the left and one to the right.
"Which way Homer?" Marge asked the only one in the group who would know. "I just want to point out the stack of large barrels containing nuclear waste directly in front of us. You would think..."
"Think about what?" Burns caught up to them. "Despite my old age, I have made shortcuts through this power plant. Whether it's to spy on employees or to get around here faster myself, I've learned to adapt and overcome."
Burns wasn't the easier man to trust, but the fact he would spy on his own employees meant he shouldn't be trusted.
"And maybe there are three paths to pick from here. The left, or the right, or climbing the mountain." Burns was starting his ascent as his strength escaped him. "...Let's just take the long way."
"Did you know this was here, Homer?" Kent whispered.
"If you think I'm climbing up these barrels..." Homer answered. "The breakroom is right around the corner, and I'm more familiar with that place."
Homer was right as they turned the next corner and spotted the bright light exiting the room. It wasn't much of a breakroom, but at least there weren't any leaking pipes or waste barrels.
The employee breakroom. Paradise for the overworked and underpaid employees for the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. It had a few tables and chairs, a microwave, numerous safety posters, and the box of doughnuts which never seemed to be empty.
"Dibs!" Homer yelled. "I want the one with the purpley stuff. Blueberry, I believe." No one else was even thinking of doughnuts at this late night, nor even knew there would be a box on the far table. "Mmmm... purple doughnut." Homer picked it up and almost swallowed it whole. "Will the new owner of the plant supply endless doughnuts to us?"
It was a valid question as this was the only perk to the job. "I suppose that will be up to that individual. It is a rather large expense to the company to keep you all fed every day... I've personally watched you eat a half dozen of doughnuts in a single sitting." The elder Montgomery Burns wondered how that was even possible. "Just think how much money we could save having something healthy like impossible doughnuts."
"Absolutely not." Wiggum jumped in quickly. "Our jobs may not be the greatest, but don't mess with the doughnuts. It's all we have."
Burns used the carrot as much as the stick. "It won't matter soon enough." His comments always meant something else as he exited the room and Homer finished the purple doughnut.
He turned towards the exit and got this weird feeling behind him. He did an about-face and what appeared? A brand-new box of doughnuts. A complete dozen plus a bonus doughnut. A baker's dozen of fresh glazed and sprinkled doughnuts appeared where the empty box once previously sat. "How did..." Homer was just as confused as anyone else.
A magic box of doughnuts. He tasted one to ensure it was real, and it was...
"I'll be back for you later." As he grabbed one more for the road and caught up with Mr. Burns, continuing the tour of the power plant.
"You're in for a treat today. If everyone keeps quiet, especially you Kent, I'll take you beyond the restricted area and show you what we really do here twenty-four hours a day. Deal?" Burns wanted to show off the plant, but had to be careful who saw behind the curtain.
But he wouldn't be doing this unless he had a plan. He was too smart to give away his secrets to random citizens, and one carrying a news camera.
"The camera stays outside these doors..." Burns pointed at the restricted access sign outside a set of double doors.
"Rules are rules." Brockman confirmed. "Most of this can be found on the internet anyways." He added a joke.
Burns slid a key card through the reader and the doors opened to... nothing much exciting. More hallways, more barrels, much more leaking neon green stuff, and the pathway to the best room in the entire plant...
"Welcome to Sector 7-G!" Homer jumped with joy. "This is my home. This is where I control the plant. You want more power? I'll give you more power. Follow me, I'll show everyone my office."
It was more of a room with a control panel, a spinning chair, and an emergency hazmat suit. Office might be misleading.
"Marge, you want to sit in my chair and press my buttons." Homer said in a slightly deeper voice, to which Burns ignored his statement and hoped everyone did as well.
"What button can I press?" Wiggum wanted to play also. "How about the big red button?" He leapt for it as Burns tried to stop him. Wiggum hit it and nothing happened.
"We disabled that one after the last incident report." Burns told the story of the big red button shutting down half the power plant and part of the city experiencing a blackout. Homer wasn't in the office that day, so it couldn't be blamed on him.
"What else is here?" Kent asked during the quick tour of the room. "Or is this it?"
"That's actually it. I just stare at these gauges and screens all day and hope nothing happens." It sounded more boring than it actually was. Homer was good at doing nothing, and this job fit him.
Burns shrugged and led the tour out the other door. "If no one else has any good questions, let's conclude the tour in my office." Out of the restricted area, up an elevator, and down the hall to the big office with the giant desk and window overlooking the grounds. Burns was home. "Step inside, as most of you have been here before. In fact, the chairs were left willy-nilly, so make yourselves comfortable for the time being."
"Kent Brockman here for night two, reporting live in the office and central command post for Burns' game. Let's find out what the latest from the game is..."
His cameraman had the weirdest look on his face as he listened to the opening monologue from Kent. There was one thing missing to have a live news report, and it was sitting outside the door to the restricted area.
"Two things, Kent." Burns stepped in. "Looking at the security cameras, we are still waiting on Smithers to be done wondering around. Secondly, do you always talk like that without a camera?"
"Oh, boy... where did the camera go?" Kent questioned. "How are we to record footage inside the game? What's even the point of going in without the camera?" The cameraman shrugged.
"No cameras inside my game either, Kent." Burns added. One less thing to worry about. "Let's see..." He scanned the cameras as Smithers was talking to the green hologram behind the counter. "This could be awhile as he talks my head off about dolls and safety inspections." He leaned back in his tall chair and waited, along with everyone in the room.
Marge scanned the cameras to see if there was any information to be gained. Most of the players were taking a quick nap as the sun was starting to show over the horizon.
Homer yawned as he wondered what was in store for them. "You think we will be together in there?" He asked Marge to make small talk as the screen showed Smithers sit down at the table with Luann.
"Finally!" Burns let out a sigh of relief. He clicked the button to speak over the loudspeaker in the game. "I must have fallen asleep waiting for your turn to end." He said into the microphone. "Just as the red hologram said, it's my turn.
Now where were we..." He clicked the loudspeaker off.
"We need to find out who is in the lead." Kent suggested.
"Calm down Kent!" Burns thought for a second. "It is time..."
Wiggum nervously stood up. He was ready to enter the game, even though he really did not want to. "Let's get this over with..."
"Where are you going?" The elder asked the chief of police. "It's not time to enter the game yet. It is time to give the players the ability to look at the game progress themselves." He tapped a few buttons on the keyboard on his desk. "T... x... 0... 4..." Nothing changed in his office, but this was what the players were waiting for if they knew how powerful this was.
Marge scanned the cameras again as the players were waking up after hearing Burns' voice a few moments ago.
"Greetings again." Burns said over the loudspeaker. "Listen up as I have implemented House Rule number four. It is more powerful than you realize now. I have unlocked the ability on your MyPads to see the status of the game, meaning who's in first..."
"You mean who's on first..." Wiggum corrected him. "You said in first, it's on first..."
"What's on first?" Homer asked. "I thought what's on second and who's on first..."
"What's on second?" Wiggum was confused. "I don't know..."
Burns pounded his fist on the desk. "Stop it, now! Who's on first, what's on second, and I don't know's on third..." He knew the routine. "Back to my game. All the players can look up the cash reserves and properties owned." He thought for a second. "Since I'm feeling nice, I'll even show the locations of other players since several have already had secret meetings, and two are sharing a burger together..."
"Smithers and Luann, and Milhouse!" Marge screamed. "They found each other. What are they saying?"
"You can ask them soon enough." The smile from Burns meant something bad was about to happen. Then the smile became larger. "I've also enabled trading amongst players to speed up the game. Beware of this rule. Someone may lose soon..."
It was an ominous warning, but were they too late? The seconds ticked by as Burns stared at the others in the room, and they stared at the security screens.
"Before I wish everyone good luck... I wanted to..." The right words escaped him. Marge saw an opportunity to speaker over the loudspeaker, but Quimby beat her to it.
"Citizens of Springfield currently trapped inside the game..." The former mayor began to speak. "Burns has graciously invited us to join him inside the game. We will be coming for you shortly. Continue playing until we come up with a plan..."
"Be safe and we'll be there..." Marge tried to get a few words in before Burns turned the loudspeaker off. "...soon."
"Oh, don't worry Marge, you'll be there soon..." He pressed a button on the desk, and the wall opened to reveal the seven transporter capsules in the next room. "Take a minute to study the cameras as you will be on one of them."
Forty cameras and thirty-something of them had nothing happening. "Do we get MyPads to help us along the way?" Diamond Joe Quimby inquired.
"Unfortunately no." He received the answer from Burns he didn't want, but there was a compromise. "Everyone will be placed on a team with the player already in the game. It is up to you to find them and join them."
This was the answer Homer didn't want to hear. "I guess we are splitting up..." He grabbed Marge's hand for their last few moments together. "Be safe in there..."
"You too, Homie." It was getting very real now, but Marge had to keep her composure. Two of their kids were in the game, and if the minors could survive, so could they.
"Are there any last requests?" Burns was ready to enter the game and the moment was here the other six wanted, but now they weren't so sure.
"Can you, uh, promise we will return to Springfield?" Quimby wanted reassurance.
"I promise nothing." He was forcefully answered by Burns. "This is your own risk..."
Quimby shrugged it off and stood up. His decision had been made. This was for the citizens of this great town. Countless people had entered the game, or been tricked into it, or were kidnapped, but the only thing which was known, the citizens were missing from Springfield. Many voters missing which could reelect him after returning and taking back his position of Mayor from Lovejoy.
"If the mayor... former mayor is ready for an adventure, so am I." Wiggum also stood up. "I'm sure the rest of the force will appoint a leader. We have a lot of good men capable of doing my job while I'm gone."
"Anyone else? Simpsons?" The elder asked Marge and Homer. They were ready as well. With no further words, Burns stood up and motioned to everyone to join him in the transporter room.
A room with the center table and seven transporter capsules... and the master control switch to transport them into the game was on his desk.
"How's that going to work? Do we need someone to stay behind to press the button on your desk?" Marge thought about the logistics of seven people locked in a room, and pressing a button outside the room.
"I have that taken care of..." The look on Burns face was more terrifying than the last time. He had a plan, and it was falling into place. He pressed a button on his desk and walked into the transport room.
"Was that the button... no, wait... that couldn't have been. We weren't in the pods yet..." Kent couldn't figure out what Burns did. "What did that..."
"Don't worry Kent. All your questions will be answered in the next world." This answer was cryptic as Burns waited for the last straggler, the cameraman, to enter the room. "One, two, three, four, five, six... everyone is here. Time to play..."
Everyone stepped into a transport capsule. Homer took a deep breath. Marge looked at him while Wiggum saw something move outside the room. "Wait..."
Burns shut the door as a shadowy figure was seen through the crack of the door. The features of the person were blurry. Whoever it was, sat down behind the desk and gave them a final farewell. "Good luck..."
"Who was that?" Wiggum wondered.
"I know that voice. Long time no see, sir." Homer was excited about the possibility of a reunion. "It's..." He went to break the secret of the shadowy figure behind the desk, but the lights dimmed down, a loud humming noise was heard, and after a bright flash of light, the capsules were empty.
