Chapter Fifty-two – 'Food for thought'
"Attention all patrons of the restaurant and our gracious mayor Luann van Houten, I am proud to announce: breakfast is served." A cook wearing a different shirt yelled from the kitchen. Were they a cook or a manager? "Can I get some help back here?"
Luann stood up and approached the counter. She was the mayor of the fast food strip on Vermont Avenue, and any issue was up to her to fix. "I'll be right there." She groaned at the incompetence of the only one working the grill. "Just sit here for a minute. I'll be right back. Smithers, make sure he doesn't sneak out of the restaurant."
Milhouse came into this strange world by himself, but found his mother fairly quickly. He wasn't ready to venture outside alone. There was so much to see as the other restaurants were closed last night when Milhouse was starving.
"Maybe when my mom gets back, we can go to another restaurant. I want to try them all." Milhouse was excited to explore the strip.
"As long as I don't have to pay for another meal. I normally would not pay six dollars to order a meal..." Smithers hesitated at the fact that switching restaurants could cost him more money. With Luann owning the fast food strip, could she him for breakfast since he was still there...
Luann reappeared from behind the counter. "Milhouse, get your shoes on. We have to go check the other restaurants. I have to shut this one down. Attention customers..." Luann said with an annoyed tone. "The restaurant is shut down for the day."
This wasn't the worst news in the world, there were plenty of other options on the street. One shut down out of many wouldn't prevent people from dining on the strip. Just depends what the reason is...
"I found mold on the cheese, so I have to assume all the food in the walk-in is contaminated." Luann admitted. "Already called the supplier and a cleaning company to deep clean and restock the chiller. No food today, go somewhere else."
"Mom, I'm hungry." Milhouse grabbed his stomach. "It's been so long since we last ate. I'm going to shrivel up if I don't eat soon." Overdramatically, he tried to play a game with his mom. "Can we try a new restaurant for breakfast... and another one for lunch?"
He pressed his mother's buttons until she almost snapped. "We have to go check on the rest of the restaurants, be patient, Milhouse." Luann scolded him. "Smithers... you mind going with us. I don't want to take the chance of serving you bad food. Breakfast is on me." Luann smiled as her mood lightened.
"That is fine with me. Where shall we go?" Smithers stood up and led the way to the door. "I see carbs and calories anywhere we go... but anywhere is better than here." He thought for a second. "If the property capital was chosen based on the least nutritious food, this place was picked correctly."
"Yeah, but Krusty Burger is the greatest place on Earth." Milhouse added, not knowing the life lessons learned from bad meal upon bad meal.
"I don't think any of the restaurants on this street were healthy... that would be something I need to look into in the future." Luann fed Milhouse whatever he wanted, but she tried a little harder to eat better. Chicken nuggets, frozen pizza, and french fries were not the key to a long life.
Milhouse threw open the door and enjoy the rays of sunshine hitting his face. "Morning! How I've missed the sun for so long."
"Where to?" Smithers asked politely. "I could go for something lighter for breakfast. How about..." He took a look around at his options. Seafood, fried chicken, noodles, and spicy sauces were hard hitting this early in the morning. "Lard Lad might have something light. What's on their menu?"
Luann had no clue. "I bought this property last night without touring the all the restaurants, so that's why we are doing it now. Hopefully, there isn't any more moldy food." She laughed nervously as they all made their way toward the giant donut hanging over the landscape.
It looked larger in the daylight and seemed positioned when the sun was at a certain angle on a specific day, to shine through the hole in the donut. The fun part was the sprinkles scattered the sunlight like a little disco ball.
"Shall we?" Smithers held the door open at Lard Lad's Donuts and motioned for Luann and Milhouse to enter first.
Inside was very outdated. Fake wood countertops with a million coffee stains on top of a bar which had seen better days. A wall with several shelves full of fifty varieties of donuts was on one side of the shop, while a more modern looking shelf with non-donut items filled the other wall.
"This is perfect..." Milhouse said out loud as he mentally made a list. "Breakfast time!"
"I was thinking the same thing." Smithers went towards the non-donut shelves, which was the opposite of Milhouse who ran directly at the large wall of donuts.
"Milhouse... Smithers... hang on a second. Let me run back to the kitchen real quick." She had two sons at the moment as they were drooling over all the delicious food and wonderful smells filling the restaurant. This was the fastest moment in history as she reemerged from the back room. "Being the mayor of the property, I get to make all executive decisions, and I have decided that breakfast is free and unlimited."
Milhouse's eyes were as big as the two donuts he grabbed to start. "Lemon raspberry and a chocolate custard filled. Mom, mom! They have apple filled with sprinkles and a triple chocolate glazed and filled."
He took so many donuts, it was too many to carry in his hands, so he stretched his shirt into a makeshift basket to make it to the table Smithers decided to sit at.
Waylon Smithers was a simple man and took a bagel topped with everything seasoning and a single tub of cream cheese. "That sausage, egg, and cheese biscuit also looked yummy. I'll have one of those if I am still hungry."
Opposite of him was Luann, who was enjoying the aforementioned biscuit. No condiments, just a piece of sausage, one circular egg, and a single slice of cheddar cheese. It was perfectly made as if it was starring in a commercial in the next five minutes.
Clumsily, Milhouse threw his donuts on the table, and the powdered sugar covered strawberry filled one rolled across the table and landed on Luann's MyPad. The sugar flaked off, covering the screen. "Milhouse!" She screamed. "Don't ruin this, we need it."
She picked it up and brushed the screen. "Mom!" Milhouse squealed.
"Luann, what did you do?" Smithers reacted as a brown hologram appeared beside him at the table.
"Greetings. Welcome to your best day." The brown hologram greeted them. "I'm here to show you something." It had everyone's attention. "Smithers, pick up your MyPad as well and tap the screen. This is the menu to access the game information. Might as well see what information can be gained while it is not your turn. That is all."
The brown hologram disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "It was right. Let's see what we can find." Smithers suggested, as Milhouse had spilled the beans about their finances at the previous restaurant.
"Here we go..." Luann hesitated. "I was hoping no one would ever know how well I am doing." Now everyone had access to everyone's financial statements. Here's an idea. Can we call a truce for a few minutes and put our heads together in how to proceed?"
Smithers thought about it. He should get her help as he was not prepared to play Burns' game and was the last participant selected specially by Burns. He could be at a severe disadvantage if all the other players were targeting him to eliminate him first, so just the six selected by random lottery balls could rightfully play the game.
"Deal." He held out his hand as if this was a gentleman's agreement. "Let's figure this out together, and who knows, maybe we will work together in the future..."
The look on Luann's face disagreed with her statement. "Maybe we will, but first..." She eagerly studied the display. It wasn't complicated, but held more information than any of them needed in the game. "First things first. Player information."
Milhouse inhaled another donut and stood on the chair next to her, so he could get a good view. The chewing right next to her ear lasted about four seconds before she pushed him down into the seat. "Sorry. I'm done now."
The player information screen was quite powerful as it listed the tokens used, the player's names, and also the properties owned and money remaining.
"There's us!" Milhouse jumped. "Team Dog! Luann van Houten and Milhouse van Houten..." They scanned the rest of the page and only one player was listed for the rest of the teams.
"Strange." Luann quietly added. "Why are we the only team while the rest of you are individuals. Have you seen anyone else?" She was quite curious how Milhouse had officially joined her and no one had a partner in the game. "Remind me again who came into the game with you."
Milhouse grabbed the super chocolatey donut and began to think. "Bart and Nelson... and those annoying twins Sherri and Terri... and... and..." The last two did not come to mind right away, but through a series of random thought, he finally pulled their names out of his brain. "Lenny and Carl."
"The last two names sound familiar. I believe they are two worthless goofs who work at the nuclear power plant." Smithers recognized the pair. Wherever one was, the other was within arm's reach. "I check the cameras in Burns' office all the time, and I wonder if those two ever work."
"I'm trying to place a finger on who they are... and I can't picture them." Luann had one reason to run into them in public. They worked at the power plant, drank at Moe's, and had no kids to be around the school. "I got nothing."
"If these are the people who were sent in the game to help us..." The softest words still had some bite to it because Milhouse was sitting at the table. "I hope some good people from the outside world join us in here..." His words fell flat as he didn't know exactly what to say without being insulting, and that was beyond his normal demeanor.
Luann scrolled through her player info. "Do I truly need these pieces of paper since the game is tracking our progress?" The receipts annoyed her along the way because it generated useless clutter.
"If Burns is running the game... maybe... I'm holding on to all the little papers from the statues." Smithers admitted. "Just because Burns invited me at the last minute to play this game, doesn't mean I trust the man. It is his game..." They all sat back and took a deep breath. What other surprises awaited them. Milhouse picked up one last custard filled eclair and offered it to Luann. She shook her head. Same to Smithers with the same response. In one motion, Milhouse stuffed the eclair in his mouth and bit off half of it. Grinning ear to ear and full of custard, Milhouse was in heaven.
"You mind if I grab another bagel?" Smithers asked the owner of the donut shop. She nodded as he stood up and walked away from the table.
The temptation was there and so was the means. Luann slid the MyPad directly in front of her and went back to the Player Information screen and tapped on Team Thimble, also known as Waylon Smithers.
She scanned through the info provided and was amazed at what she saw. Her excitement did not stay at the table. "Second place! What have you been doing?" Luann yelled a bit too loud and caught Smithers' attention at the bagel rack. "I still own more properties than you."
"This is the first turn I haven't bought a property. Three out of four isn't bad." Smithers defended his game. He still had half the cash he started with, and buying a six dollar meal full of carbohydrates was his only expense. "You must be rich selling late night burgers and fries."
"Actually, I'm rich from buying every property I visit. So far, I'm five for four." She was proud of her accomplishment and hoped this was a winning strategy. There was an ultramarathon and not a sprint. Smithers took his seat again and listened to her explanation. "I rolled doubles on my first turn and visited two properties, bought both of them. Each turn after was one property each, for a total of five. Also, like you, I passed Go to arrive here."
Waylon grabbed his MyPad and looked up Luann's information along with all the other players. Second place wasn't a bad position to be it, but it wasn't first. First place was sitting at the table with him. Did it help to have two people on a team? It didn't affect how the game was played. Dice rolls were supposedly random, and the choice to buy properties was still a choice.
"Congratulations on being in first place so far. Second isn't bad considering everyone else takes their turn before me." Smithers was proud of his spot in the game and honestly, thought he had a chance to win. Fairly, and not because of Burns helping him.
They both buried their faces in the MyPad, exploring all the options. Luann found the grayed-out titles: 'Build a House' and 'Transport'. She knew what transport meant, as the purple hologram had explained it to her on the elevator ride between the electric and water sections of the hydroelectric dam. Seems like that was forever ago.
Building a house was a new concept in which had no clue what it meant, and it wasn't active yet either. That would remain a mystery for a while yet. "Build a house?" Smithers repeated. "I see that as well, but can't click on it. Any idea what it means?" This was part of the truce between them to share information and to guess the new features of the game.
"Not a clue. I already moved on to the next title." She found a clickable button labeled: 'Board Position'. This was what she was looking for. It showed the entire board and which space was occupied by which player... or team. "Look at this... it shows the two... three of us on the same space."
"Yeah!" Milhouse delightfully shouted. "I'm part of the game now!" He touched his picture on the board and the MyPad zoomed in to show the different restaurants located on Vermont Avenue. "Mom! Can we..."
The newly crowned mayor noticed five empty lots on the property labeled with question marks on the map. "Is think where houses could be built?" She shook her head to disregard the thought.
"I think I found something interesting." Smithers brought her back to life. "Scroll down on the main menu and find 'Make a Trade' and 'Offers'. You'll want to see this." And he was right. This was the holy grail of the game. The ability to make deals with other players. The chance to form alliances with other teams. The...
"Jackpot!" Luann tapped the title and was taken to a screen displaying all players in different colors and a color-coded board. "This is what I want."
Smithers was already there, clicking on each property and who owned it. "I'm on the screen, and it's early in the game, so maybe I'll make someone an offer they cannot refuse... or they could. Have to shoot your shot."
"Oh, that would be the property to trade..." Luann eyed the properties of the dark blue group: Park Place and Boardwalk. "Does our truce still exist?" Smithers nodded his head as he had the same thought.
"For now." He paused before proceeding. "We both are at a roadblock by owning a dark blue property. The most expense in the game. "I'm not willing to sell the Country Club to you, considering you already own more properties than anyone."
"Likewise. I'm not selling my Yacht Club to you, giving you both dark blue properties." Luann countered. "I guess those will be separate until the day comes."
Milhouse was listening to their conversation from in front of the donut rack. He grew impatient as Luann had taken so much time studying the board and not saying anything. To be fair, Smithers had done the same. The table was silent except for tapping and scrolling. They each studied the positions of the others and picked their targets.
"Truce?" Luann asked.
"Yes." Smithers answered. "It seems the player I need to target is... Lisa. She has all the properties which match my red and green ones." Milhouse was not thrilled with this answer because he liked Lisa, but he was part of Team Dog, competing against Smithers and Lisa. "Let me think..."
"While you do that... I'm thinking..." Luann had a plan of her own as well. She was the leader of the team, which meant Milhouse would not have a say in her plan. "Well, shoot... I have to target two other players." Her best answer was to trade with the person across the table, but she had agreed to a truce, so her next options were... "Comic Book Guy and Ned Flanders." She groaned at the idea of trying to convince two players. "I think my best plan is a two-pronged attack and hope they haven't talked to each other.
Luann had run into Smithers and previously Moe. What were the chances the other players had crossed paths? As random as the movements were, pretty good, actually.
"I'll tell you what." Smithers started. "If I ever become desperate to stay in the game, I'll trade you the Country Club for... numerous other properties, and take my chances after that." It would be a disaster of a deal for him, and everyone else, but a slim chance was better than no chance. "Deal?"
Smithers didn't hear her answer as loud booms echoed across the sky and shook the donut racks. A chocolate frosted donut jumped onto the floor, and Milhouse ran to pick it up within five seconds. "Score!"
"Deal." She agreed to his plan. "Let's keep the score even and try to help each other make the final two players. This could be the beginning of something beautiful."
"What's for lunch?" Milhouse asked as he finished his eighth donut for breakfast. "At least we can grab food before we leave for our turn. Team Dog! Yeah!"
