Chapter 12
Dreaming As You Be Talking to Me, About Where We'll Be
"You're from the…" The words came out slowly as Caroline tried to process the information. Her eyes grew wide. "How?"
"A spell."
"Right. Of course. Dumb question. But…" She looked Bonnie up and down. "But you still look like you."
"The spell only sent my consciousness to the past," Bonnie explained.
"But then what happened to the Bonnie that we knew? Are you both in there? How does it work?"
She wasn't sure how to answer that question. "I think...she's a part of me now. We're one in the same at the moment."
"Okay, so then how old are you really?"
Bonnie chewed her lip and shifted in her seat, bracing herself for Caroline's reaction. "I'm forty-six."
Her mouth fell open. "WHAT?!" She leaned away from Bonnie to look at her again as unabashed shock overtook her features. "You're forty-six! As in forty-six years old? As in almost thirty years older than me?" She held up a hand. "Hold on. It's going to take me a second to wrap my head around this. I mean I thought you'd been acting a bit different lately, but I figured you were just…I don't know." Her head shook in disbelief.
A million questions were probably running through her mind. Bonnie waited for her to sort through them, pushing down on the nervousness bubbling up inside her. "Something bad must've happened. For you to come back this far?"
"Yes, though nothing bad happened to you, only to me, but I don't think I should tell you what that is. At least not yet. I'm trying not to change things too much."
It took a second for her to take in that information, and then she considered something. "How long exactly have you been forty-six?"
"Since April."
That took her off guard. "Since April?! And I'm the only one you've told? You've kept this a secret the entire time?"
Bonnie nodded, her gaze falling to her hands balled into fists on her lap. "Yeah, it's been...stressful."
"I can't imagine. It must've been hard on you having to go through everything that's happened all over again."
An exhausted breath left her. "It has. I wasn't supposed to be here this long, but I came back too far. Someone went back before me and did something that messed up my life, but what I came to stop isn't supposed to happen for a while yet, so I've been trying not to make too many changes. It's weighing on me though. Sitting back, watching people die, and letting people get hurt has been taking a toll, especially when I know that if I tried hard enough, I could've done something to stop some of those things from happening."
"I get it." Caroline nodded. "There's a risk that comes with changing things, and you can never be sure if that risk is worth it, so you shouldn't beat yourself up over it."
"But how could I not?" Bonnie's nails dug into her palms. "I knew Klaus was going to kill Jenna. I knew Stefan was going to become a ripper again. I knew Klaus was going to turn Tyler, and I could've stopped that. I could've saved so many lives. And there's so much more that happens Caroline, things that are even worse, and I want to stop it, but I want to get back to that future where we're happy, where I'm happy, and I'm so scared of what might change if those things don't happen." Her throat constricted and her eyes started to water again. "Does that make me selfish?"
"Oh Bonnie." Caroline moved to sit with her on the sofa and pulled Bonnie into her arms. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it as Caroline leaned back to meet her eyes. "You've done so many things for us, saved us so many times already, and you've had to sacrifice a lot. If anyone deserves to be a little selfish, it's you. I honestly can't say I wouldn't be the same way in your situation, so don't feel so bad." She grabbed her hand, and Bonnie squeezed it, but her mouth set into a grimace.
"You might not say that if you knew."
Her brow furrowed. "How bad does it get?"
"Bad, Caroline."
"And you still think changing things might make them even worse?"
"People like Klaus and his family are volatile. There's no telling what their reactions might be if I interfere with their plans, and for reasons that I can't reveal, outright killing them isn't an option right now. I'm going to let things unfold as they did, but I've decided that if there's little things I can do to try and make a situation better, I'll do it because I've already been messing things up."
"I guess I can't ask you why killing them isn't an option, but what have you messed up?"
All the time she had been spending with Damon was the first thing that came to mind. "I'd rather not talk too much about that either actually. Though there was a thing I stopped with Matt during the night Klaus turned Tyler. I thought I had ruined things then, but the timeline seemed to correct itself. And I don't know what sort of repercussions this conversation might have."
Caroline looked as if she wanted to ask more, but she held back. "Regardless, I'm glad you told me." She gave her a comforting smile.
"I'm glad I told you too." A little bit of the weight in her chest lightened as Bonnie returned her smile, allowing silence to fill the room for a few seconds until Caroline broke it again.
"I guess I don't have to tell you what Jeremy did today then."
Bonnie's face fell as she rolled her eyes. "No, you don't. I was expecting that, but it still made me mad all over again."
"He's a jerk. Anna has absolutely nothing on you, and she's a ghost."
"Ugh, don't remind me."
"Change of subject then." Caroline fidgeted in her seat. "Do I get married?"
Of course she would ask that. Bonnie's smile reappeared. "I…don't think I should tell you that."
She grinned. "But the way you smiled just gave it away. Who is he? Is he hot? Do I know him now? Is it Tyler? Please let it be Tyler." Her hands were clasped together in an unspoken plea for Bonnie to answer the question.
But Bonnie threw her hands up. "He's very good-looking and that's all I'm going to say."
"Okay, if you're not going to talk about me, then are you married?"
Bonnie chewed her lip again, wondering if she should just go on and tell her about Damon. "Yeah, I'm married."
Caroline squealed. "To who? And what was the wedding like? Where was it? What kind of dress were you wearing? Who was there? How did he propose? I need all the details. Or as many details as you're willing to give."
"I-," she paused, "I'll only say that the wedding was beautiful. You planned it actually and were my maid of honor."
"Just me?" She sounded shocked. "You chose me over Elena?"
"Yeah."
She sat back in her seat, cataloging that information with a pensive look. "I always thought that you would…never mind. Does she get married too?"
"She does."
Caroline raised a brow. "So which brother does she end up with then?"
She snorted. "That one I'm definitely not answering."
"Come on!"
Bonnie shook her head.
"What about Matt?"
"He was doing well." Sensing she was going to keep asking about people they knew, Bonnie headed her off before she could get to anyone else. "But I think that's enough questions Caroline, I've already said too much."
"Okay, but one last question. Is the person you're married to the guy who you and Miss Sheila were talking about? Is he a part of the reason you've come back?"
Bonnie wanted to tell her. She wanted so badly to just come clean and say out loud that she was in love with Damon, that he was the one she came to save, but the words were stuck on her tongue. If she went down that path with Caroline, she would end up telling her how she lost him, and Bonnie was not ready to revisit that. "As much as I want to tell you everything, I can't. Not right now."
It was written on her face how much she wanted to say more, but she let it go. "I get it. Sorry for pushing. You being Bonnie from the future is kind of crazy and unbelievable. It's the last thing I expected to find out today."
"I'm amazed you believed me so easily."
"Well, I am a vampire, you're a witch, werewolves exist, and we're dealing with vampire-werewolf hybrids. We've also just temporarily had ghosts come back to life. Believing you did a spell and time traveled isn't that hard, especially with the way you've been acting so aloof lately." She looked at the clock on the wall behind Bonnie's head. "But I should probably head home. It's getting late."
They both stood up, and Bonnie walked her to the door. "I know it's unfair of me to ask this, but promise you won't resent me?"
When she turned back around, her expression was warm. "I could never. And if you need help or just someone to talk to, I'm here. You're not alone Bonnie, and I wish you'd told me sooner."
"Thanks Caroline. I love you." She wrapped her best friend in a hug, and Caroline sank into it, hugging her back even tighter.
"Love you too."
After the events of the weekend, Bonnie took it upon herself to take a day off of school because she wanted a break and felt like practicing magic. She also didn't want to deal with Jeremy, who'd been calling and texting her, apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
He could stew for a while. She wasn't planning on forgiving him any time soon, nor was she eager to play the hurt ex-girlfriend.
In her room, she had Emily's grimoire open to a spell that allowed a person to hide their presence. It wasn't an invisibility spell, but it reduced traces of one's presence in the atmosphere so that if you weren't in someone's line of sight, it would be hard to tell if you were there. She was reading the spell over again when her doorbell rang. Rolling off the bed, she went downstairs to answer it, checking through the peephole to see one of the last people she felt like dealing with at the moment.
She opened the door anyway.
Jeremy's hands were in his pockets, his shoulders slumped and eyes low. He'd perfected the hurt puppy look, but when he raised his eyes, Bonnie could tell he had something to say. Maybe she should have kept the door shut.
"What do you want?" She could already feel the headache starting.
"For you to hear me out."
She leaned against the door frame, crossing her arms. "Fine. I'm listening."
"Can I come in first?"
"Whatever you need to say, you can say it right here."
He sighed. "I'm sorry for what I've done. It was wrong and I acknowledge that, but you have to understand that between us, you've been distant and acting strange for some time now. I mean, Bonnie when's the last time you and I kissed? It's almost like you've been avoiding me."
She blinked. "So you're saying I drove you into the arms of a ghost."
"That's not what-"
"Goodbye Jeremy." She slammed the door in his face, furious with him and herself. Him for having the audacity and herself for not anticipating he would eventually throw her odd behavior back in her face. Jeremy wasn't that dumb, he was bound to figure out something was off with her in their relationship. She was just mad at herself for not being able to pretend, but she really couldn't. The idea of even kissing Jeremy repulsed her, and thank god she hadn't been having sex with him around this time or they would've really had a problem. There was only one man she could ever want at this point.
When she was sure he was gone, she grabbed her keys and went out. She wanted to vent to Caroline, but Caroline was still at school and didn't answer her phone, so she went to the one place where she probably shouldn't have gone to see the one person she should've been avoiding.
Since both their cars were missing, Bonnie figured both Rebekah and Stefan were still out as well when she walked up the steps to the boarding house's porch and opened the door. He was there though. She could feel it through her tether to him, and she rolled her lips between her teeth as she closed the front door and he caught sight of her from across the room.
He looked slightly surprised at her arrival, but didn't move from where he sat in the leather chair in front of the fireplace, book in hand.
Bonnie walked past him straight to the liquor cabinet and pulled out one of the better bourbons, Damon's eyes warming her as she did so. Putting ice in a glass she pulled from another cabinet, she glanced over at him, their eyes briefly meeting as she poured herself some bourbon. She noticed he wasn't drinking anything.
"Do you want one?" She asked, and he inclined his head.
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" It was strange how just hearing his voice made her feel better.
"I am." She finished making his drink and grabbed both of theirs, walking over to the couch. On the way, she passed Damon's drink to him, and he put his book down to take it form her. She glanced down at the open page. He was rereading Call of the Wild.
"So then to what do I owe the pleasure?"
She took a seat at the end of the couch closest to him. "I just needed a drink."
"It's not even lunch time," he said with mock disapproval.
"You're one to talk."'
"Something had to bring you here." He closed the book, leaving his thumb in to mark his spot while he gave her his full attention.
She toyed with a loose strand of her hair that had fallen from the messy bun atop her head. "Did you hear what happened yesterday, what Jeremy did?"
"No, but let me guess. Considering the whole ghost debacle, I'm sure it has something to do with Anna." He drank a bit of his drink.
Her lips curled into a sour frown. "He kissed her, and then he had the nerve to come to mine this morning and act like it's my fault he did it when he would've done it the first chance he got anyway."
"So you finally kicked him to the curb," he assumed.
"Yes, and I slammed the door in his face earlier, so hopefully he'll leave me alone now."
The way his lips tilted up in approval made something in her chest dip.
"Anyway," she crossed her legs, and Damon's eyes flicked down for a second, briefly taking in the short denim shorts she wore. "How have things been here with Stefan and Rebekah?"
His face twisted in annoyance. "Absolutely wonderful. It's been a dream living with a shell of my little brother and a type A brat."
"So would you say you miss the old Stefan?"
"Marginally. In so much as the old Stefan didn't leave a trail of bodies in the living room."
"Hm, have you made up with Alaric yet?"
"Not yet."
"And Katherine? Have you heard anything from her about the Mikael situation yet?"
"No."
Neither of them spoke for a moment.
Her eyes went to the book in his hand. "So what were you planning on doing today besides reading?"
"Relaxing, then making myself scarce when those two get back. You?"
She shrugged. "I was going to practice magic, but then the whole Jeremy thing gave me a headache." A headache that had finally gone away.
"Right." There was another lull in the conversation, and she stared at the little bit of liquor in her glass, more clearly feeling a tension between them since her headache had cleared. It rolled through her, familiar and foreign and dredging up emotions she would have to keep in check.
Bonnie finished off her drink.
"Well I don't want to get in the way of you relaxing." She uncrossed her legs and started to stand, intending to make her way over to the sink.
His eyes followed, heavy on her back. "You can stay…if you want." Damon hesitated over the words.
She turned back to look at him. Surprise showed on her face. "Okay." The answer was deliberately given after a beat. He couldn't know how much she wanted to stay, how much she liked the tension slowly but surely cloying the air between them every time they interacted. How she wanted to suffocate in it.
Bonnie took a quiet deep breath.
Instead of going to the sink, she went to refill her glass, then wandered over to the bookcase. She expected him to go back to reading, but he continued to watch her. The weight of his gaze made her hyper aware of herself as she perused a few of the novels, stopping over one she had never read. "Is The Princess Bride any good?" His eyes were still on her, watching. He hadn't gone back to reading his book yet, and the room grew smaller when their eyes met again.
"The movie is better." There was an intensity behind his gaze that made her skin tingle.
She ignored the sensation.
"Do you have the movie?"
"Somewhere around here."
She rolled her lips between her teeth and gave him a sidelong glance. "Wanna watch it?"
The question floated in the air for a moment. Then for some reason, he fully closed his book and got up. "Give me a second to find it."
While he searched for the movie, she rummaged around the kitchen pantry, looking for some popcorn. It would've been on the shelf in front of her in the future, but she supposed they had yet to keep things stocked for the abundance of human visitors they were starting to get. They did, however, have a few canned foods scattered about, but she was about to give up when Damon appeared. He'd intended to catch her off guard, but she knew he was standing behind her when he asked what she was looking for.
"Tell me you have popcorn?"
He moved back through the pantry doorway and Bonnie followed him out to watch him open up a random kitchen cabinet and pull out a bag of popcorn. He threw it, and she caught it and went straight to the microwave.
When it was done, she met him back in the living room. The silence between them was only borderline comfortable as she sunk into the couch seat next to him.
She blinked. A sense of deja vu hit her, bringing a small smile to her face.
"What are you all smiley for?" Damon was back to watching her intently.
She sat down next to him. "Nothing. It's just who would've imagined you and I getting ready to watch a movie like this?"
He snorted. "Somewhere hell has probably frozen over."
Her smile stretched even wider. "Somewhere pigs are probably flying."
They looked at each other and her smile faded a bit at the way he stared at her with something akin to barely concealed wonder. His confusion or curiosity or both had slipped through to flit across his face for the briefest of moments. Then it was gone again, and it was as if the moment never happened.
Bonnie took off her white tennis shoes and curled her feet underneath her. She kept the popcorn in a bowl in her lap, and Damon sat close enough to reach over whenever he wanted.
The movie started and she turned her attention toward the screen. She didn't have any notion as to what it was about and thought it was odd at first, but the silliness of it all lightened her mood. Damon also quipped a joke every now and then, making her chuckle. She had never seen it with him before, so this was a new experience, and it reminded her that there were so many things she still didn't know about him, so many things she had yet to experience with him. She was robbed of having more moments like this with her Damon, and yet here she was having one with this one. It would never be exactly the same, but it dulled some of that constant ache in her heart.
They finished the popcorn, Bonnie eating most of it, and with the bowl no longer between them, she stretched out a bit. In stretching, her feet brushed up against Damon's leg. She expected him to move, but when he didn't, she kept them there just for the comfort that came with being in physical contact with him, though keeping her toes warm was also a nice bonus.
During the movie, she managed to keep her gaze mostly on the TV screen with only the occasional glance at him. Relaxed, he was slouched in his seat a few feet away from her, one arm hanging over the back of couch. She found herself so content in his presence doing something that they'd done so often in the future, and she was grateful that for all she thought this Damon was different, she could see a glimmer of the reasons she fell in love with him in the way he let her stay, the way he watched the movie with her, in the way he had this self-satisfied air whenever he made her smile.
When the movie ended, she knew she should leave because Stefan and Rebekah would be coming back, but she didn't want to.
"That was a good movie," Bonnie said, sitting up straighter and pulling at the navy blue shirt she wore. It had wrinkled a bit with the way she was sitting.
"Told you so."
"Stefan and Rebekah will probably be back soon, so I think I'm gonna go back to mine." She checked her phone, and stood up, starting towards the door.
Damon followed. "Afraid of what they'll think of us coexisting without being at each other's throats?"
"I'm not afraid. I just don't want to upset the status quo."
"In other words, you're afraid."
Bonnie rolled her eyes as she opened the door. "And you just want the brownie points it'll give you with Elena once she hears that we can actually get along. But don't you think it'd be more interesting to keep this between me and you?"
Damon grabbed the edge of the door, staring down at her with suspicion and a smirk. "You're all about secrets these days. Makes me wonder what else you're hiding."
"I don't know what you're talking about." She feigned innocence.
"Right."
For the rest of the week Bonnie avoided the urge to visit the boarding house and focused on school. The others were busy trying to figure out the meaning of the symbols on the wall of the cave Alaric and Damon found after the ghosts returned, and with the story Elena heard from Rebekah, they were able to discover that Klaus was the one who killed the Original Witch and not Mikael.
The revelation was not exactly consequential to the homecoming plan to kill Klaus that Damon chose to enact on his own with Mikael and Stefan. With the flood at the gym, the homecoming dance was held at Tyler's house, and Bonnie was getting dressed for it alone. Elena had invited her over earlier to decide on outfits, ensuring her that Jeremy wouldn't be there, but Bonnie wouldn't put it past her to try and fix things between them. Even on the phone, she'd been pushing her to talk about him, and Bonnie refused. He was her brother. She would always have bias, and Bonnie didn't want to hear her make excuses for him.
So when she was ready, Caroline came to get her and they went together. There were people already everywhere after they arrived, but not many they could recognize. And there was an actual band playing outside.
"Who are all these people? And there's already a band here?" Caroline looked at Bonnie who shrugged. "This is weird. I'm going to go and find Tyler."
And Bonnie was going to go and find the drinks. She wandered outside over to a table and grabbed some fruit punch, which she could tell was spiked as soon as she tried some. Oh well. She wasn't trying to have alcohol tonight because Klaus would appear soon, but one cup wouldn't hurt. While she stood by the table, a guy approached her, one she had never seen before who was cute and wore glasses. He started to pour himself a cup of fruit punch. "Great party, huh."
Bonnie smiled politely. "Sure."
The band finished up their song, and Klaus appeared on stage, giving a short speech. The next thing she knew, Caroline was back in front of her. "You knew this was going to happen, didn't you?"
She fessed up. "I did, Caroline."
"So what are we supposed to do about this? What is Klaus after?"
"Caroline, I couldn't tell you that even if I did remember what exactly his goal was, which I don't." Though she did know the people she didn't know there were hybrids.
She disappeared off again and Bonnie stared into the crowd, trying to count the number of hybrids present in case things went left to the point where she had to deal with them. In doing so, she ran into Damon walking inside with a bloodied hand that was most likely from ripping someone's heart out. He was about to say something to her, but something over her head caught his attention and he sped over to Tyler, shoving him into a nearby room. Bonnie followed them, walking in on Tyler trying to bite Damon, and Damon getting ready to stake him in retaliation. She gave them both aneurysms, forcing them to stop in their tracks, but while she knocked Tyler out, she left Damon conscious.
"You weren't supposed to witchy migraine me," he said through clenched teeth as he went to stand.
"You weren't supposed to kill Tyler."
"He tried to bite me."
"It's because of the sire bond and you know it."
Damon was there to kill Klaus, but Bonnie knew it wasn't going to work, and she contemplated on just telling him that. But how could she go about it without sounding suspicious? Hey, Damon, killing Klaus tonight is a bad idea. If you do, every hybrid in this place is going to kill everyone we know. He'd probably ask her how she knew that, and Bonnie wouldn't have an explanation though she could just say that she overheard Klaus talking about it. She chewed her lip and hesitated.
He leaned over and picked up the white oak stake.
"Damon, if you're planning on ki-"
He cut her off with his non-bloody hand over her mouth. "Shush. They can hear you," he mouthed in a near silent voice. His head moved closer to hers, his breath fanning against her cheek. "You should get out of here," he said only slightly louder. "If something goes wrong, even you can't take on all of these hybrids. And if Klaus manages to get his hands on you, the entire plan is over."
And then he was gone. Bonnie went after him, but by the time she found him at the front door, he had already gone for the killing blow. She hung back, watching as Stefan appeared from nowhere to stop Damon from pushing the white oak stake into Klaus' heart. Stefan pinned his brother, the white oak stake falling to the ground, and Klaus picked it up. The original hybrid launched himself at his father through the front door, slamming the stake through his chest. It burst into flame and so did Mikael's body, killing him for good.
Klaus, in return for saving him, gave Stefan his freedom, but Damon was not happy. His brother had just ruined the one chance they had to kill Klaus.
Little did he know, Stefan had saved his life, had saved all of their lives.
Immediately after, Klaus left with his hybrids, and with one last look at his brother, Stefan ran off too, leaving just Damon and Bonnie in the Lockwood mansion's foyer.
"We had him. Why the fuck would he do that?" Damon seethed as Bonnie came to stand next to him.
"Stefan hates Klaus as much as you do, so knowing Stefan, it was probably to save your life. Klaus may have died, but there were a ton of hybrids who were sired to him here. What do you think they would've done if their sire had died?"
"The bond could've broken."
"Maybe he didn't want to take that chance."
He looked over at her with an irritated expression. "You might be right, but it doesn't change the fact that I'm pissed right now."
"Pissed enough to not give me a ride home? Caroline drove, and I don't think she'll be able to give me a ride back."
They stared at one another, and Damon relented, losing some of his anger. "Fine. Come on, judgey."
She smiled at him, her fingers lightly touching his leather covered arm. "Thanks Damon."
A/N:
No excuses this time, just thanks for still reading y'all!
Chapter title from "Another Lover" by Little Dragon.
