For the second time in as many weeks, Cullen was furious.

Oh, he was relieved, of course, that Kira and her companions had made it back to Haven in one piece. From their tales of their adventure, it was a wonder they had managed it, but here they were, and Cullen was truly grateful.

It was their acquisition of a free mage army that had given Cullen pause. What was the Herald thinking, turning a horde of mages loose in Haven? There were scores of civilians who would have no defense against blood mages or abominations. Besides, these were the same mages who had decided that an alliance with Tevinter was a good idea, for Andraste's sake! How could they be trusted in the Inquisition's base of operations?

In the days since one of the Inquisition's agents had returned from Redcliffe with the report, Cullen had thought of little aside from what a terrible idea it was to extend a full alliance to the rebel mages. He'd wracked his brain, mulling over his many late-night conversations with the Herald. When they had spoken about her time in the Circle, or even about mages and templars in general, Kira had always seemed reasonable. She'd acknowledged that there was some good in the Templar Order, that leaving mages unchecked wasn't necessarily the solution to their problems. And yet, when tested, she still chose to favor her own kind, to set them free.

The worst part was that Cullen knew his feelings weren't entirely sensible. Kira had procured assistance for closing the Breach, and he knew that they needed the help. Still, he had to admit to a certain feeling of betrayal. He'd thought they were friends, or something close to it, and so to have Kira turn her back so completely on common sense…

He supposed he shouldn't blame her. If it were him, he wondered, what would he have done? But he couldn't see past the dangers of free mages. It was easier to be angry than to sort through the complicated mess of logic and emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.

"It is not a matter for debate. There will be abominations among the mages, and we must be prepared!" Cullen insisted, running a hand through his hair with aggravation. He stood with Cassandra and Josephine in the chantry, his arms crossed over his chest. He'd been arguing with Leliana about this for days, ever since word had arrived regarding the events in Redcliffe. It was an argument that had renewed with interest now that the Herald and her companions had also returned.

Josephine sighed. "If we rescind the offer of an alliance, it makes the Inquisition appear incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst," she said.

Just then, Kira appeared in the chantry, and they all turned to stare at her.

Cullen scowled at her approach. "What were you thinking, turning mages loose with no oversight?" he snarled as soon as the Herald reached their group. "The Veil is torn open!"

"We need them to close the Breach," said Kira, meeting his gaze calmly. He recognized the look; it was her polite noble face, usually reserved for visiting dignitaries or Chancellor Roderick. Cullen wasn't used to being on the receiving end, and it set his teeth on edge. "It's not going to work if we make enemies of them."

"I know we need them for the Breach," he snapped, annoyed. "But they could do as much damage as the demons themselves!" He turned to Cassandra. "You were there, Seeker! Why didn't you intervene?"

"While I may not completely agree with the decision, I support it," Cassandra said, nodding to Kira, who offered a wan smile in reply.

Cullen stared at the Seeker. Surely he'd heard incorrectly. He would have expected Leliana to support Kira; the spymaster had made no secret of her feelings regarding the mages. But Cassandra? Had she lost her mind?

"The sole point of the Herald's mission was to gain the mages' aid, and that was accomplished," continued Cassandra, avoiding Cullen's mutinous gaze.

"The voice of pragmatism speaks! And here I was just starting to enjoy the circular arguments," quipped a voice from the shadows. Dorian emerged to lean against a pillar, regarding them all with a rather patronizing grin. He'd elected to stay with the Inquisition after Redcliffe, much to Cullen's chagrin. Something about the Tevinter man irritated him. It seemed that every time the commander turned around, Dorian and Kira were huddled with their heads together, discussing Maker-knows-what. Perhaps freeing the mages was Dorian's idea.

"Closing the breach is all that matters," Cassandra replied, giving Dorian a withering glare.

"I got a taste of the consequences if we fail," confirmed Kira, looking grim. "Let's make sure we don't."

Leliana nodded. "We should look into the things you saw in this 'dark future.' The assassination of Empress Celene? A demon army?"

"Sounds like something a Tevinter cult might do," observed Dorian. "Orlais falls, the Imperium rises. Chaos for everyone!"

"One battle at a time," growled Cullen. "It's going to take time to organize our troops and the mage recruits. Let's take this to the war room."


The war council was long and tedious, with their attention focused on everything from how to feed and house the hundreds of mages who were currently en route to Haven to what their assault on the Breach would look like. Their discussion of how to monitor the mages for abominations and blood magic was limited; Cullen got the distinct sense that his colleagues were unsure how to proceed and therefore were electing to do nothing. The oversight was not lost on Cullen, who left the war room feeling more frustrated than he had felt in months. Didn't they know that ignoring the problem wouldn't make it go away?

He was not alone in his misgivings; he found an unlikely ally in Lady Vivienne, who had been waiting for him in the chantry.

"If Fiona and her malcontents are joining us as allies, we need to be prepared," she told him loftily, not bothering to lower her voice as Kira walked by. The Herald visibly flinched as she passed. "Abominations are inevitable."

"We don't have enough templars for the number of mages that will be joining us," said Cullen.

"Then some of the rank and file need to be trained," said Vivienne pointedly. "And the sooner the better."

"Of course. The last thing we need are abominations running amok."

"I knew you would have a proper grasp of the situation, my dear," said Vivienne. "We are reliant on your people absolutely. There has never been a greater threat to mages than the Breach. Until it is closed, no one is safe."

Over the next few hours, Cullen seethed. He tried not to think about why he felt so angry, so betrayed. He told himself it was because the Herald's choice made no sense, that she was blinded by loyalty to the mages and thus could not be trusted to think rationally about the situation. It was his responsibility to think of the safety of the rest of Haven, since she so clearly did not.

If he missed her, or their midnight talks, he kept those feelings carefully under wraps.

Somehow, he ended up at her door that night after dinner, fuming and aching for a fight, for anything to break the tension that had been building ever since he heard the news from Redcliffe.

She opened the door after his first knock - had she been waiting for him? - a hint of a smile playing on her lips. She froze when she saw his face, faltering under the scowl he hadn't even known he'd been wearing. In he stalked, his lips pressed into a thin line. She didn't even have to ask; she simply waved her fingers to ward the room so they wouldn't be overheard.

"What were you thinking?" Cullen demanded as soon as her hand dropped to her side. "Letting the mages loose? Have you lost your mind?"

"I didn't have much choice -" she started, but he cut her off.

"Oh, please," he sneered. "Of course there was a choice! Haven't they proven that they can't be trusted, running to Tevinter at the first opportunity -"

"I don't think that's -"

"And yet you're still willing to welcome them with open arms!" he shouted over her. "Did you even think about the consequences of your actions, or was it more important to free the blessed mages?!"

"Mages aren't monsters," snapped Kira. "We deserve a chance at freedom, to prove that we can control ourselves without any outside help."

"This is not an issue of self-control! Even the strongest mages can be overcome by demons in conditions like these!"

"The mages were doing just fine in Redcliffe -" Kira began, but Cullen's harsh bark of laughter cut her off.

"Until Tevinter came along," Cullen sneered. "They were perfectly happy to go along with blood magic and Maker knows what else when it was to save their own skins!"

"There is nothing to indicate -"

"It's Tevinter! What do you think they were planning to use the mages for, tea time?"

Kira held up a hand, that polite mask back on her face. It only infuriated him further, and he was satisfied to see that her nobility didn't quite hide the way her lower lip trembled. "If you are so determined to find fault with my decision, then there is nothing I can say that will change your mind."

"No," said Cullen. "I don't think there is."

And then he stalked from the cabin.

Over the next few days, Cullen threw himself into training his new templar recruits: men and women hand-picked from the trainees at large who had excelled in their basic training. Lady Vivienne was instrumental in their new training; she volunteered to assist with their magical education and provided several demonstrations with Cullen as her templar counterpart. For as cold and aloof as she was, she made an excellent teacher.

There were several times that Cullen felt eyes watching him, and he would look up to find Kira somewhere nearby, diligently working on something or speaking with someone. He found himself watching her in turn during the war council meetings, where she pointedly looked anywhere but at him. They barely spoke to one another after that night in her cabin, and Cullen tried hard to ignore the dull ache in his chest that came from her absence.

The mages arrived at the end of the week, right on schedule. Whatever they were expecting to find in Haven, it seemed that they were disappointed. Cullen found that a rather large portion of his days were suddenly taken up with complaints.

When the mages were unable to get what they wanted from Cullen, they turned to others. On the way to train his templar recruits one morning, he overheard an angry Cassandra telling off one of the mages.

"And what are we supposed to do, exactly?" the mage was asking, clearly affronted by whatever comment had come before.

"What you always do," said Cassandra, her face sour. "Complain."

"We've already spoken with Commander Cullen. No one listens. We want better quarters. We want the templars kept at a distance, and some respect for -"

"This is not the Circle. You mages are our allies, not our wards. Act like it," growled Cassandra.

The mage was not satisfied. "How are we supposed to -"

"Deal. With. It."

The mage, unsatisfied and affronted, left hurriedly, brushing by Cullen without so much as a glance.

Cassandra, watching the mage go, made a face. "It never ends, evidently." She sounded exhausted.

Cullen sighed. "You don't need to tell me that."

"I just don't know who told them I'm the one to yell at." She squinted at him. "Was this your doing? He said they spoke to you already."

Cullen held up his hands. "I told them much the same as you did. The mages are here as equals. They need to get used to what that means." He peered at her. "You could have stepped in to stop the Herald. You created this alliance as much as she did."

Cassandra tilted her head to one side. "I know it sounds like I blame her when we discuss the mages, but I don't disapprove," she said slowly, her eyes on Cullen's face. "She did well, you know. She made a decision when it needed to be made. I wish I could say this was my doing."

"Do you?"

"I do." Cassandra's voice was firm. She hesitated, looking at him. "We acquired the mages' aid. That was the sole purpose of our mission, and it was accomplished. I would not have gone so far as a full alliance, perhaps, but do you really believe that we should have conscripted them? We need them - and most of them deserve a chance."

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck absently. "We still need safeguards in place -"

"And no one has argued against that," Cassandra interrupted. She took a step closer. "Stop punishing the Herald for her decision. She did the best she could, and she did well." At Cullen's surprised look, Cassandra gave him a pitying look. "It's as clear as day that you two are at odds. You used to be friendly, and now you barely even speak to each other when you have to in war meetings."

"I - we - I mean -"

"Just fix it, Commander. For all our sakes."


Cullen didn't sleep. Aside from the usual insomnia and nightmares that plagued him, his nights were fraught with worry. He tossed and turned, uncomfortable and unhappy. When he did fall asleep, he woke at the slightest noise outside his tent, his hand going to the sword he kept by his cot, ready for a demon or abomination to burst in at any moment. When nothing greeted him but silence, he was forced to start the process of falling asleep all over again.

More often than not, he simply gave up on sleeping and wandered Haven. He refused to admit to himself that he was hoping to run into Kira; after all, he'd taken midnight walks long before they had begun having their talks. Yet, he still found himself on the end of their pier, staring out over the frozen water, trying not to listen for footfalls that weren't coming.

Was this how their friendship ended? A stupid fight about something that might never matter? Kira had spoken before about wanting to bring both the mages and the templars into the Inquisition. If she managed to do that, and they could bring peace, then perhaps this little hiccup would cease to be. Perhaps that had been her plan all along and he had simply misjudged her. It wasn't like he'd given her a chance to explain, he remembered painfully. He'd been too angry, and too content to be angry, to offer her that.

He didn't see her that night, nor the night after that. It was on the third night after the mages' arrival. He found himself wandering past old Master Taigen's cabin when, suddenly, he heard rapid footsteps, as though someone was running through the snow. He followed the sound to see her auburn hair, tinged silver in the moonlight, streaming behind her as she fled towards the druffalo pasture.

When he caught up to her, she was out of breath and red-faced, her gasps creating little clouds in the frigid mountain air.

"Maker's breath," Cullen said without thinking. "You look terrible."

He regretted it as soon as it came out of his mouth. It was the truth, though: her hair was a tangled mess, and deep circles were etched below her emerald eyes. She looked like he felt - and, since he hadn't slept properly in days, he suspected that he looked about the same.

"Oh, thanks ever so," Kira replied waspishly, glaring at him. "I don't suppose you've looked in a mirror lately?" she added, confirming his suspicion.

He couldn't help but chuckle; he deserved that. "I've been sleeping even less lately than the last time we talked." He winced, suddenly remembering how he'd treated her. His behavior had been abhorrent. She'd been through hell and back, being thrust into a future filled with demons and Maker only knew what else, fighting her way back to the present, and making a difficult decision quickly under unwelcome circumstances. She'd done the best she could, and he knew that, really, even if he didn't like the outcome.

He shouldn't have yelled at her.

Clearly, she had the same thought. "Good," she muttered petulantly.

Cullen grimaced. He deserved that, too. "I… wanted to apologize," he admitted. "I reacted poorly to our new friends, and you didn't deserve it."

Kira just looked at him, her gaze unreadable. After a moment, she said, "No, I didn't." She paused, her lower lip trembling. Her expression was sad and lonely, and he was relieved that she was no longer shutting him out even as he regretted making her feel that way. "I… I did the best I could."

"I know," he said, taking a tentative step towards her. "I'm sorry."

"You know what the worst part was?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her with a shiver. "In that horrible future… I… I watched you die. And when we made it back, I was so relieved." A tear slipped down her cheek. "You were alive! But then…"

"Then I was an absolute ass," he admitted.

She gave a watery chuckle. "Exactly."

Kira shivered again, and he realized that, not for the first time, she'd come out without a cloak. He shrugged out of his and stepped closer, settling it gently around her shoulders. "I am sorry," he said again. "I was… angry and afraid of what the mages might do, and I took it out on you."

"Afraid?" she asked with a sniffle. "Of the mages?"

"I've seen what damage unchecked mages can wreak on the world," he reminded her. "When I was in Kirkwall, an apostate blew up the chantry. Before that, I was stationed in the Ferelden Circle. Few who lived through that time like to speak of it," he said awkwardly, not quite ready to divulge the torment he'd lived through at the hands of blood mages and demons. "But I've seen blood magic and deals with demons firsthand. After our mages allied with Tevinter…"

Kira swiped at her tears with the back of a hand. "I had forgotten," she murmured. "I'm sorry."

Cullen looked at her incredulously. "What are you sorry for?"

Kira shook her head. "I should have talked to you. I want the mages to be free, but I don't want them completely unchecked in our base. If I had taken the time to explain, we could have come up with a plan and avoided this whole mess."

"That would have required me to listen, my lady," he pointed out drily. "And I wasn't exactly in the listening mood."

"Fair enough."

"But I'm listening now," Cullen said with a smile. "If you'd like to discuss it."

They made their way back to Kira's cabin, where they talked for several hours more. They spoke of the mages, of the trainee templars, and of how to keep Haven safe from any ill that might befall it as a result of the mages joining them. They talked of Redcliffe and what had happened there, and what steps they might take to prevent the dark future, as Leliana had called it, from happening. They discussed many things, some serious and some not, and before they knew it, the sky outside the cabin was lightening.

"What are people going to think, with you leaving my cabin at dawn?" teased Kira, startling a blush from Cullen.

"I - Well - I -" he spluttered, floundering as Kira howled with laughter.

"I'm teasing," she said finally, stifling another round of giggles. "But I am sorry to have kept you all night."

"Don't be. It was worth it."

They were silent for a moment, gazing warmly at each other. It was Kira who looked away first. She fiddled with her hands in her lap. "Commander… I - I hope you know what a dear friend you are to me. No, really," she added when he looked uncomfortable. "I just - I want you to know. Just - just in case."

Cullen was silent for a long moment, unsure how to respond. She was far more dear to him that he cared to admit, even to himself, but he wanted to say something. In the end, he went with humor. "If we're such good friends, isn't it time that you called me Cullen?"

That earned him a chuckle. "I suppose you have a point. But only in private and only if you call me Kira. No more of this Herald or 'my lady' nonsense."

"I make no promises on that front, my lady," he teased. "But I'll do my best."


Preparations for the assault on the Breach were well underway. Cullen was pleasantly surprised by how easily everything began to fall into place once he and Kira were no longer at odds. Over the next few days, the mage became a figure at most of their templar training sessions, giving lessons alongside Lady Vivienne in magical theory and sparring with the trainees to help them develop the skills that would be needed against her kind.

During a break in one such session, Cullen approached her. "How are the mages handling this?" he asked, genuinely curious and perhaps a bit concerned. They didn't want to completely alienate their new allies, after all, even if training a new batch of templars was really for everyone's benefit - including the mages.

Kira made a face. "About as well as you'd expect," she admitted. "The mages came to Haven expecting to be left to their own devices, but they are learning that they need us just as much as we need them. We all have to make concessions in wartime."

Cullen didn't like how tired she sounded. He stepped closer, lowering his voice. "Are they giving you much trouble, my lady?"

She smiled wanly. "No more so than I suspect they are giving you." She raised an eyebrow. "From what I hear, you and Cassandra are quite unaccommodating."

It was Cullen's turn to make a face. "If by 'unaccommodating,' they mean unwilling to coddle them, then I suppose they're right."

Kira laughed. "I'm just teasing you, Commander. We're all doing the best we can. The mages need to understand that we are all in this together. That means compromise."

Indeed, compromise became very much a part of the day-to-day life of the Inquisition. Between Haven's occupants, the growing Inquisition forces, and the addition of the rebel mages, the village was bursting at the seams. Women and children overflowed from the cabins in the village, so much so that Kira insisted on giving up her own to house some of those without shelter.

"I can survive in a tent just as well as the rest of our troops," she said stubbornly when Josephine protested. "They need a cabin more than I do."

The mages set up their own tents in neat rows outside Haven's walls, on the other side of the gate from the Inquisition soldiers. They kept mainly to themselves, save for Fiona, who joined the Inquisition leaders daily in the war room to help plan their march on the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Kira spent as much time helping the mages settle in as she did training the Inquisition's new templar recruits. She worked to set up tents, deliver food and water, and soothe any tensions that arose as the mages settled into life in Haven.

Cullen, too, made it a point to help in the mage camp as often as he could. He pointedly ignored any suspicious glares from the mages as he helped to organize the camp and train with the mages who would be assisting them to close the Breach. However much the mages resented his presence, it was all worth it when he found himself on the receiving end of Kira's grateful smile.

As they grew closer to the planned assault, Kira grew quieter and more reserved. She disappeared for long walks in the afternoon, avoided the company of her companions, and went to bed early. Sometimes, while they were working with the mages or training the new templars, Cullen would catch her staring into space, her eyes a million miles away. When he asked if she was alright, her answer was always the same.

"I'm fine, Commander," she'd say with a forced smile, and then she'd go back to work.

She wasn't fine, and that was what concerned him. What worried him the most was that she'd stopped appearing at their pier, and he didn't think it was because she'd begun sleeping better. He wracked his brains to try to determine if he had done something to offend her or put her off, but could think of nothing. She was perfectly polite and friendly throughout the day, and there was no indication that something was amiss between them. She simply wasn't there.

And so Cullen worried. He worried about her from the time he woke up in the morning till he fell asleep in the evening. He worried as he watched her in training, as she worked in the mage camp, and whenever she disappeared from camp for a walk in the woods. He tried to catch her alone to no avail; she seemed to always be surrounded by people who needed something from her, and he knew he needed to be careful. Their friendship was a private affair that could easily be mistaken for something inappropriate, or used against them if reported to their enemies by any spies in their camp. It was important to both of them to be as secretive as they could.

Still, when the night before the assault came and he'd not seen her for hours, Cullen determined to get to the bottom of whatever was troubling her. They couldn't afford for her to be distracted when they marched on the Breach and, more importantly, she couldn't afford to keep carrying the burdens of the world on her own.

That night, Cullen tied up his tent flap to allow him to keep watch on the goings-on outside his tent. Kira's tent had been set up nearby, next to Cassandra's and some of the other higher-ranking Inquisition officials. From the entrance to his tent, Cullen could watch the entrance to Kira's, and when she finally came back, he planned to ask if they could talk.

It was well past midnight when Kira finally appeared at the entrance to her tent. She didn't look in the least surprised when Cullen emerged from his own tent and asked for a word. If anything, she looked a little relieved.

"Come in, Commander," she said, tying open the entrance to her tent to avoid any rumors of impropriety. When they were both inside, she lit a candle and cast a silencing ward. Anyone passing by outside would be able to see them, but not hear them.

Cullen spoke without preamble. "What's wrong, my lady?"

"What do you mean?"

The commander looked at her, exasperated. "Kira, I know you. You haven't been yourself these past few days. I just want to make sure you're alright."

Kira had the good grace to look abashed. "I'm fine, Cullen, really. I just…" She fiddled with her hands, looking down. "I'm scared," she finally whispered, glancing up at him with round eyes filled with tears. "What if I can't close it?"

Cullen stepped closer. He started to reach for her but, remembering the open tent flap, put his arm back down by his side. "You can, and you will. The mages are here to help. It will work. I'm sure of it."

"But what if it doesn't?"

"Then we're no worse off than we already are," he said, matter-of-fact. "Solas believes we will succeed."

"Even Solas can be wrong."

Cullen sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. What can I do to help?"

Kira blinked, taken aback. "I… no one has asked me how they can help, these past few days."

Cullen winced. "Then we should have done, but I'm asking now. What do you need?"

"I… I just need a friend." She hesitated, then gestured to two chairs in the corner of her tent. "Would you sit with me for a while? Tell me how our recruits are coming along."

They spoke for a while of the Inquisition's soldiers, then of how to best train the templar recruits. They discussed lyrium supply lines and contacts that might be useful, and ways to safely store and manage their supplies once they got them. Finally, Kira glanced at their candle. It had burned halfway down.

"I shouldn't keep you. You need to sleep," she said regretfully.

"I don't mind. This wouldn't be the first time I've gone without sleep."

Kira was silent for a moment, drumming her fingers on her thigh. "You know, ever since I stepped out of the Fade, everyone has had all these expectations of me. Everyone thinks that I'm some kind of chosen one. Everyone expects me to close the Breach. The people out there -" she gestured out of the tent, "- think I'm going to save the world. It's… overwhelming. I'm just one person. Just one average person. What if… what if I fail?"

Cullen gazed at her thoughtfully. "I don't have the answers, Kira. I wish I did." When she looked away, disappointed, he grasped desperately for anything to make her feel better. He leaned forward, reaching out to take her hand. "For what it's worth, you are anything but average. You're smart, and kind, and brave, and capable. If anyone can do this, it's you."

Kira glanced back at him, surprised. A pretty blush mantled her cheeks, but she didn't pull away. "Cullen…" she whispered, but didn't seem to know what else to say.

Cullen watched her, his own cheeks flaming, embarrassed that perhaps he had overstepped. But she seemed pleased by his words, if a bit taken aback, and that was all that mattered to him. She deserved to be happy, and he was glad that he could make her that, if only for a little while.

Her hand was warm and soft in his, and he was suddenly aware of how closely they were sitting. Her emerald eyes met and held his, something warm and inviting in them, and he found himself drawn in entirely. His gaze flickered to her lips; if he just leaned in a little more…

He suddenly cleared his throat uncomfortably, sitting up and letting go of her hand. This was the Herald of Andraste, for the Maker's sake! She was a trusted colleague and a dear friend. Why in the Maker's name was he suddenly thinking of kissing her?

Kira's blush had intensified, and she was looking everywhere but at Cullen. He stood abruptly. "I should let you rest, my lady. You'll need your strength tomorrow." He almost tripped over himself in his haste to retreat to his own tent. "Please get some rest."

"I will," Kira said. As Cullen stepped towards the tent entrance, she spoke again. "Cullen?"

He paused, turning to look at her, his face crimson with shame.

"Thank you."

He stammered something akin to a good night and hurried back to his tent. It was only once he was safely entrenched in his own quarters that he thought to wonder just what she was thanking him for.