coney island disco palace

im not gonna even mention it in case i jinx it even further

heres a long chapter without any blanc in a story that has blanc in the title

also, thank you Christopherweeblingjr for pointing out i missed some section breaks last chapter :v


Noire can't believe that she almost completely forgot about the voice acting auditions today. It probably wasn't a good idea to go without preparing herself, either. She recognizes that as a result of her unreadiness, her plan to tag along with Uni and her friends to this convention, hoping they won't notice that she's been gone, is awkward at best. "Even though I told her I was going to go browsing on my own for a bit...Man, I'll look really bad if they do notice." In a hurry to get this audition over and get back to the others as soon as possible, she speedwalks out of the bathroom to her destination after putting on her disguise, not paying too much attention to her surroundings.

She steps into the small reception area, takes one last look at herself with her phone, and walks to the front desk. "Excuse me, is this where the voice auditions are?"

Even if she still doesn't understand how, the receptionist doesn't notice that she's his goddess. "Yep. Just fill out this form and hand it in along with your resume," he answers, handing her a clipboard.

"Alright. Thank you!" She sits down on a chair and starts quickly filling it out, having been through this process a couple of times. She only gets distracted when she thinks she caught someone barely in her view running by. When she looks up, however, whoever that was is already gone.

What she doesn't notice is someone else approaching from behind and sitting in the chair next to her.

Noire does a double take when she sees who it is. "K...Kei-" She quickly shuts herself up and tries to "undo" her reaction of surprise, realizing that she should not be drawing her Oracle's attention.

Too late, as Kei turns to who called to her. "Yes?"

She finds it incredible that, despite her legendary insight, it seems like she can't see through her disguise. "Oh, uh…" Though she should probably not continue this conversation, she is a bit curious about something. "...Say, aren't you Lastation's Oracle?" she asks with a higher-pitched voice.

"In name, yes. What about it?" she nonchalantly answers.

Still unaware, huh... "What are you doing here at a voice acting audition?"

"Well, I might be the Oracle, but, with everything being peaceful and such, I have had a lot of free time. With Noire's permission, I have been running my own business."

She knew that much. She also knew that she worked with VR technology and the sorts, leaving her confused on why she's here. "I still don't get why you're here, though," she asks while putting her clipboard aside.

Kei cracks an ever-so-slight smirk. "Well, that business happens to be starting a new multimedia project; that should make it obvious why I'm here."

"Uh…w-what?" It's been a while since she asked her about her work, so maybe she remembered it wrong, but she certainly would've remembered if she worked in this sort of industry!

"Are you auditioning today? Don't let me pressure you; I am simply here to quickly check up on something, then I'll be returning to my office."

"Uh, y-yeah…" It's difficult keeping up her fake voice. The idea of working under her Oracle makes her more uneasy than anything, and she's definitely going to need to check if there are any legal issues with that. Taking a moment to compose herself, she decides to take another opportunity this conversation presents. "So, as president of the company, can you tell me what you're looking for in candidates?"

Kei looks up in consideration, smiling again. "Well, while we allow our talents to choose their character, it would be nice to have someone under the 'tsundere' archetype. A hard worker, wants to hold high standards for herself and everyone around her...easy to tease, too, which means the VA will have to do a lot of screaming-like voices."

Okay, she has to be messing with her. "Is that so…" Wait, does that mean Kei knows that she's Noire and is just playing with her? She wouldn't do something like that, right?

As usual, her professional smile always makes it hard to read her intentions.

"That sounds a lot like Lady Noire…" she mentions.

She raises an eyebrow. "That's an odd way to describe her, isn't it?"

"U-uh…" She forgot that that trait of hers wasn't exactly public information, and, even if it was, why did she just ridicule herself? She can just feel Kei's silent mockery seering through her. "I mean, uh...sorry, I didn't mean to say that! Uh, I was just repeating what I've heard from others."

"I would assume so, unless you personally know her. Do you?"

"No, no..." At the very least, Kei isn't pressing on her too harshly, whether or not she's doing it intentionally. "A-anyways, I'm gonna turn in my form…"

"Of course. Good luck on your audition."

"Thank you." As she stands up, she takes one last look at Kei, hoping to find at least one hint of what she's thinking about.

She has already stood up and is walking out, paying no special attention to Noire.

"Hmm…" A close call, but she can't be anything but suspicious about why she showed up, even if she told her the reason. She almost feels tempted to look further into what Kei has been up to. Yet, she's already wasted a lot of time talking to her; Uni and the others will be waiting for her. She picks up the clipboard and heads to the front desk.

(-)

"I swapped them."

"Good job, Rom. Always so sneaky as ever," boasts Ram, taking and spinning the clipboard her sister stole from Noire in her hands.

"Pretty convenient that your handwriting is similar enough to your sister's, Uni." mentions Kei as she joins the group outside the office. "It's also convenient that she didn't double-check your clipboard right before submitting the form, either."

"Yeah, heh, convenient…" The idea of associating everything her friends told her to write down to her sister, even in her disguise, makes her shudder a bit. At the least, they're not seriously ruining her audition chances, she thinks. "More importantly, it really was unexpected of you to both run into us and help us, Kei. I thought your company was about developing VR technology, and I certainly didn't think you'd help with a prank."

"Oh, that's because I slipped in her real answers under yours, and I made sure to let the interviewer know."

Ram's glee immediately shuts off. "What? Why'd you do-?"

"Lady Noire's 'secret' may be frivolous, but I still wouldn't want to ruin it for no good reason," she explains with crossed arms. "Aren't you entertained enough that they'll see the fake entry at all?"

Even if it makes sense, the sudden reveal certainly ruins her mood. "...No. Hmph."

Kei doesn't pay her any more attention and continues, "As for what happened to my VR ventures, my business went through a lot of development since I founded it. Acquisitions, new ideas, experiments that spontaneously took off, and now we stumbled upon this 'virtual idol' business. As for helping you all out…" Adjusting her collar, she tries her best not to blush. "Well, it has been a while since we've been in touch. Even with these...odd circumstances, it's nice to socialize with you all again, especially when I don't know when will be the next time we can meet."

Uni didn't expect her to answer like that. "That's nice to hear from you; I've wanted to catch up with you for a while, too! Noire and I probably should've checked in on you earlier…"

"It's fine. I probably would've been busy when you called."

"I still find it a bit weird that Noire's going to work under her Oracle…" notes Nepgear.

Kei simply shrugs. "I realized the possibility was non-negligible when I first started looking for talents, so I checked beforehand. It should all be legal, given that she distances her role as a goddess while in this role, which I think she knows how to do."

"No, I mean...well, I suppose Noire would look forward to working with Kei again."

"So, I'm guessing you two have more in mind, right?" Financier asks the twins.

Ram seems more engaged than she usually is with her pranks. "Of course, especially when Kei already ruined part of it. Also, there's no way we're gonna leave out the water bucket."

"Miss Kei?" asks Rom. "Can you let us in?"

"Not very likely. I'm not letting you tamper with my workplace," she immediately rejects.

Ram's enthusiasm immediately falters. "Aw, come on! We'll promise we won't touch anything!"

The others are keen on cheering up the twins. "Maybe you can come with us to make sure we don't do anything bad," suggests Nepgear. "Err, never mind. You said you were busy…"

"Let me see..." Kei looks at her watch. "Mhm. Indeed, I have something to attend to right now."

Nepgear and Uni's serious looks tell her that there is something unusually imperative to this prank. "Please, it's important for...reasons that we can't explain," pleads the former.

"Trust me; it's important that Rom and Ram pull off a prank soon," adds Uni.

"...If you stay especially careful, then…" Thinking about it more, she finds that these four Candidates as a group are usually less prone to accidents or destructive chaos than the four CPUs together, as ironic as that is. Must be the fact that there's a lot less rivalry going on between them. "...Maybe I will allow it. Come on, everyone." Kei invites everyone to follow her to the back entrance. "However, I only have the highest expectations from you all. Whatever prank you have in mind, it better not cause any destruction at all. Understand?"

"Yep, we got it!" Ram didn't exactly heed that warning, but she's nevertheless ecstatic to hear that she's still allowed to continue their hijinks.

"Yay!" Rom stays close to her, excited to enact part two of their plan.

Though not expecting Kei's approval, Nepgear is relieved that she could make an exception. She doesn't want to push her luck, but she also finds it necessary to ask, "Is it okay if we can borrow some things we find for our prank?"

Kei stops to think it over. "Hm...I-"

"That doesn't matter. We don't need anything else right now, right Rom?"

"But what if I come up-"

"Come on, let's go!" More determined than excited, Ram runs ahead of Kei.

"Hey, wait!" Uni tries to chase them, but stops herself to tell Kei before she forgets, "Oh, and uh thanks again for helping us. I'll make sure they won't get too crazy. We should meet up again and do something after Rom and Ram are done, yeah?"

"Of course."

"Right. See you soon!" Uni resumes her chase.

Nepgear and Financier follow behind her. Though particularly observant of how Ram cut her off, the former says with raised spirits, "I felt so bad seeing Ram feel so glum, so I'm glad that she's recovering from that! Hopefully, this is enough to raise their spirits for the next time they see Blanc."

"Me too, though...do they act this serious when it comes to pranks, Financier?" Always at the receiving end of their antics and never the other, she could only assume that there wasn't any planning behind their work.

"Hey, pranks are serious business," she jokes before thinking it over. "...Well, they seem a bit more serious this time."

"Right...Well, I'm still going to need to make sure they don't do anything too nasty to Noire."

(-)

Walking alone down the hallway, Noire takes a deep breath to shake off her previous encounter. As an experienced CPU, she can easily rebuff her confidence, pretending that exchange never happened and putting on a professional and friendly smile. Perusing the labels on the doors, she finds her designated recording room and comes inside.

Inside the room with carpet walls is a window and mirror on opposite sides, a microphone hanging from a boom, some headphones, and a script consisting of a few pages sitting on a stool. She already knows to take her spot on the chair, ready for instructions from the two interviewers on the other side of the window.

Both of them bear remarkably neutral expressions, if not a little bored. After she puts the headset on, one of them greets her with, "Hello, Miss...Zenny? Is that correct?"

She should probably make a better fake name. "Yep! It's nice to meet you!" she returns with the same peppy accent from before.

There's a bit of talking with their mic off, shooting suspicious glances at her.

"Is...something wrong?" Is her disguise failing only now?

"No, it's nothing. Just, uh, confirming some logistics before we start. Now, what's going to happen is we'll have you read some lines from that script, followed by an improv section. Are you ready to start?"

"Of course!"

"Alright. Just read everything on the first page."

Opening the leaflet-sized script and reading the section's comments, she clears her throat and starts reciting her lines in an alarmed tone, as her script warrants, "Wait up! You need to stop before you end up hurting someone!"

While she clearly knows about the interviewers in front of her, she doesn't see that behind her, on the other side of the one-way mirror, are Rom, Ram, and the others listening in on her. "Why do the recording rooms have a secret listening room on top of the normal one?" Nepgear wonders out loud.

"Who cares? It's convenient! Now, where are the headphones…" There are four under the window, and Ram immediately puts one on.

The other Candidates do the same, with Financier silently agreeing to not listen.

"I don't have time to explain, but please, trust me! There's…" Noire notices that her next lines are crossed out, replaced with words hastily and sloppily written in the margins. She supposes that they wanted to make some last-minute changes, but upon reading what's written there… "Uhh…"

The interviewers raise an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh...is this script...correct?"

"Yes?" one of them responds, confused and impatient.

"Alrighty, then…" Not wanting to waste more of their time, she resumes. "There's something they have that we don't: memes, the DNA of the soul." Still putting in that 110%, she has a hard time maintaining a serious composure.

The interviewers finally understand her initial concern. "Uh...did you give her the right script?" one of them asks his coworker while muting his mic to Noire.

"Of course I did!" she replies in a tone much more expressive than before, trying to double-check their copy of the script.

"Is everything okay?" Noire asks, seeing their break in composure.

"Uh, yes. Please resume," he hastily assures in his "professional" tone.

"...Okay." Raising her voice again, she recites, "They shape our will. They shape our culture! They are everything we pass on!"

As she tries to help her coworker find a solution, the interviewer stops herself when she hears Noire and returns to silently assess her skills.

"Hey, help me out, will you? We need to print her another copy or something," he needily commands.

"...Y'know, I think we don't have to." She beckons him to go back to listening and taking notes.

"What do you m-"

"Whatever script she has is similar enough to the original. It's not like we care that she exactly recites these throwaway lines I made up the other day, anyways; we just want to see her acting style, remember?"

Still trying to take this seriously, Noire puts on a resentful expression to better match her tone to the topic. She partially imitates the original voice actor, whose tone made it sound actually serious, while putting her own spin whenever she can. "Expose someone to anger long enough...they will learn to hate. They will become a carrier. Envy, greed, despair…, all memes, all passed along."

He looks at their copy, seeing that his friend is right. It might sound stupid silly, and the subject is completely unrelated, but the voice actor is certainly taking this seriously. To be frank, he already sees a lot of potential within her that he can't turn down just because she veers outside of the lines a bit. "...Alright. Gimme the headphones and clipboard." He sits down, bracing himself to keep a straight face at what she has to say next.

Judging by their actions and expressions, Noire presumes whatever was bothering them has stopped and continues. "You can't fight nature. Wind blows, rain falls, and the strong prey upon the weak."

Her sister and her friends have also been gauging the interviewers' reaction from the other side of the recording booth. "How did you know that they weren't gonna do something about your script?" Uni asks the twins, more impressed at how they safeguarded themselves from further suspicion than their prank. "In fact, how did you write all of that so fast?"

"It's something only real pranksters like us know," boasts Ram, still smirking at Noire as she recites the copypasta.

"To be fair, what she's saying doesn't sound too silly if you take out the word 'meme,' so they're probably just rolling with it since it's not that different," justifies a somewhat entertained Nepgear. "That's what you were going for, right?"

Rom wryly grins. "Maybe...maybe not."

"If that was the case, maybe you could've let us write in a few things," suggests Uni.

"No way! You already saw how close we were to getting caught!" Ram immediately shoots down. "We can't trust someone as inexperienced as you to keep it sneaky."

She isn't fond of her sudden abrasiveness. "Hey, we can be careful too, you know."

"Then it wouldn't have been that funny," responds Rom.

"Humor is subjective, so who knows?" Financier absent-mindedly remarks. "Looks like Lady Noire's almost done, though. What's gonna happen next?"

"You'll see." Ram points to Noire, redirecting everyone's attention to her.

"Hmm…" Both Uni and Nepgear grumble, choosing to forget about that exchange for now.

"...You can die with a clear conscience." Still oblivious to those behind her, Noire finishes her section and immediately tries to find what kind of impression she is leaving on her interviewers.

They seem generally pleased, if a little mystified. After some talking between them, one of the interviewers requests, "Alright, Miss Zenny. Could you read the next page? Again, from top to bottom."

"Alright." She quickly flips to said section, only to find more blacked-out words and margin writings. Casting aside her reluctance, a quick scan reveals these first few lines as much more normal than the last ones, and she begins with a casual and friendly voice. "Y'know, that reminds me of the time I saw Lady Noire at a grocery store. I guess she must've noticed me looking at her, 'cause she actually approached me! I've always wanted to take a picture with her one day, and I guess this should've been a good time, but, at the moment, I was a bit scared of bothering her too much." Her intonations perfectly match her lines, letting anyone who hears her clearly and perfectly imagine a typical high-school girl gossiping among her circle of friends, just as she had intended.

Again, her script doesn't match what they expected, but they continue to let it slide. "Y'know, she really does look like Lady Noire." One of them says to the other.

"All of a sudden, she's like, 'Oh, like what you're doing right now?' Crazy, right? I didn't know what to say except 'huh?' and stuff, and then…" her bubbly tone starts to falter as she reads ahead. "...she starts mockingly sputtering 'huh?' back at me over and over while closing and opening her hand right in front of my face. I started walking away, and I heard her chuckling from behind me..." Does this count as libel?

From the other room, everyone starts laughing, some more than others. "I didn't expect that copypasta, but…!" sputters Nepgear.

"Alright, I admit it's kinda funny to hear my sis say something like that, even if you're still just taking stuff from the internet," concedes Uni, mildly amused.

"'Just taking stuff from the internet,' huh? Wait until you see what we came up with next!" claims Ram with a toothy smile.

Noire suddenly changes to a more surprised tone, complete with taking a step back. She even jerks her arms back, not caring that she can't see her script because she had already memorized most of what's next. "W-what?! Lady Noire, what are you doing here? Me? We were, um, just talking about the time I saw you the other day." She pauses whenever "Noire" says something. "H-huh? Of course these are my friends! Unlike you, I'm not a loner!"

One of the interviewers furrows her brows. "She's deviating a bit more than the last excerpt."

The other one looks at their script to check. "Yeah. This time, the flow and tone is different." When he notes how she isn't looking at her script, he says, "...I think she's improvising."

A very odd proposition. "Really? She really doesn't like sticking to the rules...and she chose such a weird topic to improvise on, unless she's utilizing this audition to voice some sort of hatred for Lady Noire."

"I wouldn't call it hatred. It's...too weird to consider it a normal dislike. I think it's just improv based on some sort of sore spot from being mistaken for Lady Noire all the time."

She has nothing to say about that. "I guess that makes sense."

Noire isn't sure if she can take this any longer. Trying to put on her best smug voice, she says, "Yeah? You're pretty high for someone who's in range of getting NepNowa fic slammed in her face." After another pause, she changes to shock. "What do you mean, 'Don't threaten me with a good time?!'"

The back room is in hysterics; the soundproof walls and glass do a very good job at keeping in their otherwise drowning laughter. "I...I don't know how she can take that so seriously…" wonders Nepgear between wheezes.

Uni's reaction has taken a quick 180 right when she mentioned that dangerous term, however, and she shoots a glare at the twins. "Okay, really?"

Ram smirks at her reaction. "What?"

"Why do you even know about that stuff?!"

"Hey, that stuff is everywhere. It's impossible not to run into it nowadays. And we're not kids anymore! We can handle it," Ram defends herself. "I mean, actually, we're older than you! So, we should be asking YOU why you know about that!"

"Wha-stop lying!" That's no way that's true, right? "A-and of course I would know that, especially when crazy people send her that crap!"

Nepgear almost gasps. "Wait, people really do that? Neptune never personally received anything like that."

"That's even more-" Uni decides that she doesn't want to talk about this anymore. "At least...Don't tell me you wrote anything else about...that."

Rom simply smiles. "Okay, we won't."

Her sanity slowly decays as they continue to silently stare at each other.

"You know, you could give me your headphones if you'd like," suggests Financier.

Uni immediately does exactly that, switching spots with her while she's at it.

Just as she puts them on, she hears Noire say in an amazed tone, "Wow, Lady Noire. I never knew you were so well-versed in those fics!"

Financier immediately giggles, finally understanding what they're talking about. "I certainly wasn't expecting that!"

Slightly trembling, Noire unconfidently asks, "Y-you want me to help you write NepNowa fic?" Glancing at the script, there is only one more line she has to recite. She's heard about the kind of non-idon-like quips that come from the girls working in this company, but this might be even worse than all of them. She tries to gather as much enthusiasm as she can, but, ultimately, her mind is going to shatter if she reads any more. Her arms droop to her sides, and her back slouches to a hump. She does the bare minimum to keep her disguised voice. "I...I'm done..."

While everyone else continues to laugh, Uni silently stares at how miserable her sister looks. The longer she looks at her, the more she can feel her pain, but it feels like she can't do anything about it when everyone else around her finds it so funny.

Nepgear takes off her headphones, more than amused at the twins' work. "Imagine if Neptune was here."

"Don't even think about it; Planeptune and Lastation's gonna implode if she knew about this!" cries out Uni. "I would've stopped you if you didn't write all of that so quickly!" She could've suggested something that she found funnier, at the least.

"Then it's a good thing we write stuff quickly! Man, I would've recorded this if I knew how good this was gonna be!" Ram still takes out her handheld, just in case something else pops up.

"Y'know, when it comes to comedy, you two are better wri-" Financier immediately quiets down.

Rom tilts her head. "Huh?"

"...Err, I mean, They're gonna move on to the next phase of her interview, so let's get prepared for that." Just like Nepgear and Uni, she has a feeling that mentioning Blanc too soon can cause them to worry too much and ruin today's fun.

"You're right. Uni, do you know what they're going to do next?" asks Rom.

She has her arms crossed. "Do you really think they're not gonna boot her after everything you did? That's just one of the many reasons I wanted to stop you in the first place."

Meanwhile, the interviewers are more perplexed than amused by Noire's voice acting. "So, um…" Yet, instead of being irate that she wasted their time, they still think highly of, perhaps even admire, her voice and the control she exhibits.

His coworker shrugs. "...W-well, it's not like we haven't heard worse lines from our current talents, r-right?" She found the one time they talked about yaoi to be surprisingly hilarious. "She just might be a perfect fit in the end."

"I was thinking the same thing, but...you think Miss Jinguji would allow someone like her?"

"No," she confidently answers. "Not that her opinion seems to matter, anyways; remember the last audition round? If you ask me, I think she'd make for a great addition."

"Same." He starts writing down a little bit of notes, trying to gather his final thoughts.

Meanwhile, Noire is still concussed by what she just read, paying no attention to her interviewers. There's no way this could be allowed in a professional setting! Yet, the bizarreness of it all somehow intimidates her from just yelling and berating at them, as if it partially convinced her that she's in the wrong and bragging about fanfic is a societal norm.

He stares at his paper for a while before putting it down. "...You know what? Let's just drop her off to the next interviewer and let them handle her." He speaks into the mic, "Alright, Miss Zenny, that was an...excellent performance. Though unprompted, your spontaneity in your voice acting skills have shown us more than enough, so I think we can skip the improv section and send you straight to the next stage. Now, please return to the waiting room, and we'll call you when we're ready to ask you some questions in about thirty minutes."

Noire blankly stares back at them, unsure of what to feel. Regardless, she would like to get out of there as soon as possible. "Uh...okay. Thank you." Putting the script back on the stool, she takes off the headphones and speedwalks out of there.

Her sister is identically speechless. In what world do professional interviewers hear "NepNowa" and just ignore it? "...What the he-"

"Hey, no time to waste!" Ram is already skipping towards the door, pulling Rom by the hand.

"Hey, Ram?" Nepgear speaks up. "Do you already have something in mind?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"We should come up with this next part together!" she cheerfully asks again.

"Mmm..." Rom hesitates. "There's not a lot of time for talking. I'd rather just do what we have right now..."

"You sure? They might have some really funny ideas that you would've never thought of," says Financier.

"Yeah? Like what?" asks Ram, not wanting to waste any more time.

"Uh…" Nepgear nervously chuckles. "I'll think of something when I see something."

"What are you guys gonna do, anyways?" Uni finds it hard that they can top whatever they just did in terms of ridiculousness.

"Heh heh, it's gonna be a classic." Ram starts rubbing her hands together. "As soon as I get the bucket…"

"...Is this going to be another door water bucket?"

Rom nods energetically. "Uh huh, uh huh!"

Everyone else blankly stares back at them, not reacting particularly positively.

"Hey, it's a classic! She's never gonna expect something so simple after that, which makes it that much better," Ram defends herself. "I bet it's better than anything you can come up with."

"I don't think she's expecting anything. Are you sure you don't want to try anything else?" asks Nepgear, a bit hurt at how the twins are acting.

"Mhm."

"Of course!"

She frowns, but ultimately chooses not to push further. "Oh, okay…"

Uni, however, takes a more assertive stance. "Well, I think I'm going to put my foot down here. I'm not letting you dump water on Noire or anything like that."

Rom asks, "Huh? But why? You were fine with it before..."

She crosses her arms. "Like, what you did with the script-switching was weird enough, but I guess it worked out...somehow. But using a water bucket on her right after? I just know something's going to go wrong."

Ram stands up to her. "No it won't! We already told you we know what we're doing."

"And I know what sis will do: she'll probably freak out, especially after everything you've already done to her, and I won't put it past her to actually lash out on them in some way or another. If our prank was just the bucket, which I thought was what we were doing, then sure, but did you see her face as she left? As much as I didn't like her disappearing on us without saying anything, this is doing way too much damage to her psyche."

When she hears this, Nepgear starts feeling a bit bad for laughing at Noire. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yes. If Noire was making that face, that means something's gone terribly wrong," she answers without hesitation.

"I see…Sorry about laughing at your sister like that." Now that she isn't having a laughing fit, she can see how everyone laughing at her could've hurt Uni. "Is there anything else you think we can do to her?"

"Now that sounds ridiculous; we can totally use the water bucket and be fine," interjects Ram. "You always boast how she's really good at keeping her cool, don't ya?"

Before Uni can rebuke her, Financier surmises, "Won't the water bucket wash away her disguise? That'll definitely put her in a tougher situation than you'd like, I think."

Ram opens her mouth, right about to refute her question, but suddenly freezes. "...Uh…" Against Nepgear's and Uni's expectations, neither of them didn't think about that. "That won't happen…" she attempts to answer.

No one else moves or replies, expecting a better response from her.

She's had enough of everyone's patronizing stares, rebuffing her confident exterior. "Look, it just won't happen! Can't you just leave us alone and let us have our fun?" She takes Rom's hand and slips out of the room. "Let's go, Rom!"

In the middle of studying her friends' serious demeanors, she almost trips when her sister pulls her along. "Uh, right!"

"Hey wait!" Nepgear stands up and tries to follow them. She looks both ways in the hallways, yet they're already out of sight. "How are they so fast?!"

"We should split up to find them!" proposes Financier. "We just have to make sure to avoid Noire while we look."

"Screw that! I'm telling Noire what's been going on." Uni tries to exit, but Nepgear blocks her.

"Aw, we can still let them play a prank on her, can't we?" asks Nepgear.

Uni sighs, highlighting her exacerbation. "Can't we think of something else other than these stupid pranks? I know you want to cheer them up, but this is getting too destructive, and I can guarantee you that no one's going to be happy after what they're going to do."

"We just have to convince them to let us help decide on the prank!" reminds Nepgear. "That way they can be happy without hurting anyone too much."

Uni raises her voice. "That's the thing, though! Have you noticed that they've been so hard-headed with us? Please, tell me that they're normally not like this when they play pranks, Financier."

Taking a moment to remember, she nods solemnly. "That's about right; they should've been ecstatic to let you two help. I even remember multiple instances where they were daydreaming about how great your pranks could be. I can only imagine that what caused them to change their mind was something related to yesterday..."

"I see…" Nepgear came up with the same vague suspicion as early as the clipboard-switching scene, but she had been hoping that they would eventually change their mind and let them have a say. "Can't we at least talk to them about that? Maybe then they'll listen to us."

At this point, this compromise will have to do. They've already wasted too much time arguing. "Fine, let's find them. Remember to stay quiet so that we don't disturb too many people here," reminds Uni before beginning their search.

"Of course!"

"Right!"

(-)

When one looks at her sitting, an employee might be reminded of their goddesses from how composed and ready to work she looks. In reality, however, Noire has been spending the last several minutes recomposing her sanity from that disaster of an audition. She resists the urge to just slouch on the lounge sofa for optimal emotional recuperation, but she still wants to keep a refined image up. Just the room's silence as she waits for her interview is enough for her to meditate. Yes, the occasional raised voice coming from rooms multiple walls away breaks that quietude, but in a sense, it's part of a workplace ambiance that she has well adapted to and can tune out.

What she can't phase out, however, is the sound of running nearby. What could they possibly be doing out there? She might have been spurred to investigate in any other instance...but definitely not right now. She'll just have to assume that someone else will take care of that soon and continue relaxing in peace while trying to ignore the noise. Maybe she'll check it out if it's still around in a few minutes.

As she sits there motionlessly, Nepgear and Uni peek around a corner from a doorway behind her. "Do you hear that stomping?" the former whispers to the latter.

The running footsteps, complemented with some metal clanging, appear again in front of Noire.

"Yeah, that must be Rom and Ram. Are you sure we can't tell Noire what they've been doing?"

"We can do that if Rom and Ram aren't cooperating. In the meantime, let's avoid getting seen by her, too."

"But that means we'll have to find a detour to get to them..." The hallways aren't that much like a maze, but she worries if the place is built so that this lounge is the only way to get to them.

"Right." Nepgear makes sure that Noire isn't looking back, then leads Uni to the other side of the entrance behind her back.

Making a left towards what should be in front of Noire, Uni wonders, "How are they even going to use the water bucket? The interviewer's going to be with her, which means when they open the door…"

"They're not that mean that they'd want to mess with a complete stranger. Usually, their victims are someone they know, like us."

Uni returns a glare; she swears she's seen them mess with random people before.

Her doubt is enough to convince Nepgear to reconsider her statement. "...Let's just hurry and stop them." She speeds up her walking, but doesn't resort to noisy running.

"Yeah, yeah." Uni walks ahead, listening very carefully for signs of Rom and Ram. Despite the multiple twists and turns that Uni had anticipated, them being the only real source of noise makes it easy to locate them.

Sure enough, the twins are not too far from them, with Ram giggling while carrying some rope. She's certainly a lot giddier than when they were arguing with the others. "Come on Rom, pick up the pace! Don't you want this thing set up?"

"R-right. Sorry…"

Just as they spot them, Nepgear steps out from around the corner and calls out, "Hey! You two!"

Ram immediately sours upon hearing them. "Aw, come on! We were almost finished setting up!"

"Ram, please! Uni really does want you to stop," pleads Nepgear.

"No!" she answers as bluntly as she can. "It's just a little water, just like I said before."

"Then what do you need rope for if you're supposedly just going to prop a bucket on a door?" interrogates Uni rather harshly.

"...Well, you said that just the bucket is too boring, so we decided to add some extra parts." Her uneasiness shows that she wasn't expecting to be caught. "I think it's called a leg snare-"

Uni steps in front of Nepgear with conviction. "Alright, this is where I'm really putting an end to this. I'm personally going to stop you-"

"Wait!" Nepgear calls out. "Remember what we wanted to ask?"

Did she really have to interrupt her? "Ugh, fine." Turning to the twins, Uni asks, "Financier told us how you've always wanted us to come up with your pranks. So, what gives?"

Though questioning how she knew, Rom widens her eyes when she realizes her hypocrisy. "...Hm…I don't know..."

Ram, on the other hand, doesn't skip a beat to deny that. "That's not right! Why would I ever just say that?"

"Don't you remember gushing over how Lady Nepgear would be a prank master because she both can build gadgets really quickly and probably has a lot of pranking knowledge from Lady Neptune?" insists Financier.

"E-eh…" Such a vivid description is something she can't deny. Yet, she doesn't back down. "Even if I did say that, I could've, y'know, changed my mind?!"

"In order for you to change your mind, there must have been a reason. What was it?"

"Huh?" Both of them turn around to find Kei, holding up their water bucket.

Despite her everyday neutral expression, almost everyone present already knows how Kei really feels. "I expected better from you all, really."

Nepgear bows in apology. "We're sorry! Things sorta got too out-of-hand for us…"

Ram is still rather oblivious and tries to grab the bucket. "Hey! Put that back! Why'd you take it down?!"

She simply holds it outside of her reach. "I believe I asked a question first."

"You...you jerk!" Ram doesn't see her as anything but a bully, using her physical advantage to humiliate her. Of course, she's never been that strong or agile, but she's always had another way of getting what she wants. "If you don't give it back…" Stepping back, she pulls out her staff.

"Ram! What are you doing?!" Both Nepgear and Uni shout while preparing themselves to intervene.

"Ram…" Usually quick to help her sister in combat, the idea of escalation in this situation only creates a deeper pit in Rom's stomach.

Kei does not react to her threat at all. Instead, she stoically adds, "Is it because you are personally targeting Noire? Have I missed some conflict going on between you and her?"

"W-What? No! Just…Rom! Help me out!" She shouts out.

"..." She looks at everyone else around them. Realizing that they're encircled by a ring of disappointed, desperate, or pleading looks, she finds herself in a moment she had never wanted to see again. Antagonizing all of her friends in favor of what she thought was right was undoubtedly a painful decision. This time, she can't bring herself to do it again, and she decides to lean towards caving in to the pressure. At the same time, it's a bit scary to provoke her sister… "...Ram…" she quietly squeaks.

Not even a "no," but her response is enough to shock her out of current anger and redirect her attention completely from Kei to Rom. Whether it'll bring her to her senses or further into rage from betrayal, not even she knows. "...Wh-What…? Don't tell me you're not with me anymore!"

"It's, it's just…" She manages to almost take a minute to choose her words carefully, but, in the end, she finds herself needing to express one specific sentiment, unable to consider what kind of reaction from Ram it will get. "...I'm tired, Ram. I don't wanna have to argue with everyone anymore. Everyone is so mad with each other, and...I don't even know why. I just want us to make up already. I don't care about this prank anymore."

"What? That's ridiculous, we've been having lots of fun until..." As she looks at Rom, Ram is thrown off by her unchanging exhaustion. She's never seen her like this, and it forces her to hold her tongue and really think about her sister's feelings.

"And, and...I know we've been saying that we're not doing anything wrong, but...it's not like I don't even want to be right if it's making everyone else sad."

"But, but…" Beneath her need to always claim that they're innocent, she agrees, if only a little bit, that there's something wrong with always having to be cross with her closest friends. At the same time, they've always been told that as goddesses, they should always carry out what's right...does that apply in this situation?

"Whatever qualms you have with Nepgear and Uni, do you have any reason to believe that they must be wrong?" Kei asks, unprompted.

She's about to repeat that they know how to handle their pranks. Yet, given how Rom's stance has placated her, she realizes exactly what went wrong; a potential source for all of her problems for the past few days. Instead of being elated over making a breakthrough, though, all that she feels is a blanket of shame and disappointment in herself weighing her down. Backing away from Kei and everyone else, she near-inaudibly mutters, "...It happened again…"

"What happened again?" Nepgear carefully asks.

She shakes her head. "It's...it's nothing! Just...I'm sorry about pranking your sister, Uni. Let's do something else! You can choose!"

Uni stops her. "That's nice and all, but we all know it's not nothing. I think everyone here would like to know as well."

Ram can't bring herself to even explain how to vocalize her feelings, instead looking at Rom to do it for her. "Umm…"

"I don't even know how to say it…" Or rather, she feels like they'll laugh at or scold her for being so nonsensical if she tells them. She already feels dumb that she and Ram felt that way in the first place.

"You two were just being stubborn, isn't that right?"

Yet another newcomer that everyone turns to. "Huh, it's…" Looking at the neatly dressed voice actor candidate with her hands placed on her hips, Nepgear isn't sure how to address her.

"Oh, it's...Zenny isn't it?" Kei addresses with her usual polite smile. "Your interview is coming soon, right? I apologize for any inconveniences we've made from this noise."

"You can drop the act, Kei," Noire commands while taking off her fake glasses. "It was pretty easy to figure out what was going on once I saw you all here." Then, to Uni, she asks, "And don't worry, Uni. Let's talk about this whole audition situation after this."

"Noire…right." She reluctantly agrees that talking about the twins is more urgent.

With that out of the way, Noire makes it very apparent that she has a handful of choice words for the twins. "And you two...what in the world were you thinking?! This isn't just something you can mess with all willy-nilly. I've been waiting for this opportunity for a long time, and you think you can just embarrass me by making me recite all of that...garbage?! It was already embarrassing enough that you all found out about my auditions, but...I swear, if my chances of getting in are ruined because of you, I'll…!"

Both of them are used to getting scolded for their pranks, but their epiphany has weakened their emotional guard, and her chastising is really getting to them, as if she's using their remorse to repeatedly stab their hearts.

"What do you mean by that they made you recite something?" asks Kei, seeing as their silence implies that Noire's accusation was right.

"They wrote all over the scripts that she was supposed to say during the auditions," answers Uni. "And they wrote some really...dangerous stuff."

"I see. Even when I specifically told you not to...I heard that Mina has returned, so she, Blanc, and the rest of the Basilicom might be receiving a letter from my company about this," she warns with furrowed brows.

"No, p-please don't! We…" Mina was strangely quiet about punishments last night, but Ram doesn't want to push her any further, even if she hasn't been their caretaker for several years.

"That's starting to get a bit harsh," comments Nepgear. "They've already been through a lot these past few days. I really don't want them to feel even worse…"

Thinking it over, Noire can see what she means; it really has been rough for them. She obviously can't agree with their actions, but...Actually, there is something awfully familiar with how they acted. It has a nostalgic quality that calms her down, in that she could see a younger version of herself being in the same situation as them. Perhaps Nepgear is right…

"So I've heard, but that doesn't-"

Noire interrupts Kei. "Fine. I suppose we could just forget about everything that happened today, but…"

Rom looks up with tired eyes. "But?"

"...But…" She looks back at them while continuing to think over what they've done. With a sigh, she switches to a different topic. "When I said you were stubborn, I meant that you're really protective of what you hold closest to you. Is that right?"

"Nn…" Despite the criticism, it's a perfect start to describing Rom's feelings.

"That makes sense. Even before I was telling them not to set up the bucket, they've been unusually petty about listening to our ideas," confirms Uni. "Being protective over your pranking skills...I still think that's just a bit too weird."

"You don't have to say it like that…" To Ram, it still sounds like they're all taking turns to complain about her and Rom.

"Well, we're all protective to an extent, aren't we? We're goddesses; it's what we do."

"That's what I thought, so why…"

Noire takes a more sympathetic tone while smiling assuringly. "To be honest...what you two are feeling right now? That was a problem I had as well. Back in the Console Wars, when we, y'know, were at each others' throats, I made a lot of mistakes. Why? Because I was just...too protective of my own decision-making skills to admit that I could be wrong! I was convinced that I always knew what was right."

"Really?" Rom asks quietly.

"Yes," attests Kei. Unsure of what Noire's anecdote is about, she still helps out by explaining, "During my first few years with her, which was also her first few years after the, uh, Deity of Sin's first attack, she definitely gravitated towards a one-woman approach to leading Lastation. This was usually justified by claiming that being the CPU that has collected the most shares in all of Gamindustri history gave her reason to ignore any advice and, well…"

Noire squinches her eyes, but ultimately decides to admit for the sake of teaching a lesson, "There's a reason Vert won so easily against me back then. There were so many staff members at my disposal to consult, all willing to help me, but I ignored them all." She claps her hands, rebuffs her poise, and demands, "So! Can you guess why I mentioned all that stuff and how it applies to you two?"

Just as she intended, her question reminds Rom of when Mina was lecturing her. "We should always listen to our friends' advice?"

"But…" Ram really needs to know something, but it sounds too...offensive to ask. "...we were supposed to know everything about pranks, so-"

"No one can know everything, no matter how much you try," interrupts Kei. "I learned that the hard way. In most situations, you can't be strictly better than someone at something, either. They might know less, but they nevertheless can hold valuable information that you don't. As such, it's still in your best interest to listen to what they have to offer."

"I, I guess you're right…" Thanks to Noire and Kei, Ram now fully understands what she was feeling when she shoved away Nepgear and Uni when they wanted to help. They've managed to explain it so clearly. Yet, she still doesn't understand why she felt that way. "I'm sorry for all the pranking stuff, Noire. I wasn't trying to be mean, honest. I just...I don't even know what happened..." she weakly mutters.

"Me neither. I don't even want to make everyone mad like this again," says Rom.

"It's alright. We've all made similar mistakes, haven't we?" Noire assures.

"Mhm. Nepgear certainly remembers the first time we met…" answers Uni.

"I always get carried away with my inventions," answers Nepgear, more than happy that this whole situation came to a peaceful conclusion.

"I…" Rom never thought they experienced the same feeling, especially since it's such a foolish thing to do. As she said before, she'd never want to do it again, but she can suppress some of her self-loathing.

Financier would like to add something as well. "Think about it like this. Lady Nepgear, Lady Uni, all of the goddesses and our friends… we don't have any reason to do something bad to you, right? I don't think it's possible for everyone to agree on absolutely everything, so when your friends do disagree with you on something, it's for a good reason. Don't just turn them away because they sound wrong; come to a consensus, even if it means you have to change your mind!"

"You know, doesn't Noire usually brush off anything Neptune says?" wonders Nepgear.

"What? I-I mean, yeah, but she knows that she's just joking…" Her confident leader air immediately evaporates as she whines, "Ugh, I had something going on here and you just...!"

"Sorry, I just, uh…" She chuckles a bit, along with everyone else. She's not even sure why she pointed it out in the first place, but it's nice that it lightened the mood.

"Heh, yeah, Neptune can be silly sometimes…" Rom is certainly starting to cheer up.

"Mhm!" adds Ram, also feeling better. "But yeah, we'll try to listen to everyone better!"

"Good." Kei is more than satisfied by her lecture's effects. "If no one else has anything else to discuss, I'd like for you two and your servant to leave immediately. You too, Nepgear."

Even if her smile is nearly identical, they can still tell that she still isn't very pleased at all the ruckus they caused in her office. "Right. Sorry again…"

To Financier, Kei asks, "And I'd like you to report to Mina what happened today."

"Of course!" she answers with a grin, glad that she chose to show mercy to the twins.


complete comedy gold this chapter amirite? its always fun trying to write something funny and then looking back at it and finding it cringe

ive had too much trouble writing rom and ram in this chapter; i came up with a boat load of ways to end this chapter, but too many of them involved some form of outburst or more escalation from them, and i think that a lot of you are getting tired of that

also, the fact that this is 9k+ words long is scuffed cus i felt too compelled to keep everything here together; combined with being detached from blanc, i probably couldve uploaded this as a one-off with very minimal changes
i think in the future, i will try to go back to 5k words per chapter. maybe then itll get me to upload more
(fun fact: the longer i take to upload, the more i forget about what i wrote for a chapter, which means ill need more time to recall / look back at what i wrote)


"Alright, you two. Ready to head back home?" calls Financier.

"Home? You mean with…" Despite it only being one day, such an eventful trip made Rom and Ram forget that they'd eventually have to see Blanc again.

"How do you feel?" Nepgear asks carefully.

"I...I still want to feel a little mad at her and...but…" Ram doesn't have any of her fervent anger she had last night, or even this morning. "You don't want me to, do you?"

Definitely true. "...Well, you can at least talk to her and Mina and anyone else without fighting, right? Remember what Noire said?"

"I think so. How about you, Rom?"

"Uh huh."

"That's good! Mina and C-sha must've missed you already!" At the front entrance of the mall, she transforms into her CPU form and prepares to carry everyone's purchases from today's trip.

Rom and Ram do the same, ready to lift Financier for flight. "They've gone longer without seeing us, so they're fine," reminds the latter.

"We'll see you soon, Uni, Noire, Miss Kei," says Rom while looking back.

"Yep. Let's talk tomorrow!" Uni says back while everyone has their goodbye waves.

"Hopefully you two will make up with Blanc soon!" adds Noire as they take off. When they're out of sight, she addresses her sister in a more unsure manner. "So, uh we can talk about…"

"So, Vtubing, huh?" starts Uni.

"Yeah…" her sister answers sheepishly. "I still remember that time you looked into my dreams and got angry, but, hey! At least I can still be a CPU if I get in. I can do this part-time and still have time for Lastation."

"What do you mean by that she looked into her dreams? When did this happen?" wonders Kei.

"Wait, who told you that?" Uni certainly wouldn't have admitted to doing that.

"K-sha mentioned it off-hand. It's kind of hard to explain in a few words..."

It's great that she's doing this out of consideration for her, but does she really have what it takes to be a popular streamer? She'll have to find out later; she really does want to talk about today. "Anyways, first, I want to say that I'm sort of glad you ditched us after how everything turned out. Your advice was really helpful, too," recalls Uni in retrospect. "Though, it wasn't like you to, y'know…"

"To what? Admit my own faults? I'm not that conceited," she tries to deflect. "I just figured that teaching them that lesson was the better move, that's all. Honestly, I don't know why Mina or Blanc hadn't taught them that kind of stuff."

Uni already knows that isn't entirely true. "They reminded you too much of your past, didn't they?"

Noire thinks she's getting too good at reading her thoughts. "Maybe...Look, I'm your senior, so I ought to at least dispense some knowledge from experience!" She clears her embarrassment for a moment to add, "Besides, if they don't learn this lesson...I've seen Lowee make the same mistake. Honestly, I'd prefer that they learned this now rather than in some serious accident like before."

Kei isn't aware of Blanc doing anything like that. "What are you referring to?"

"It's not that important. Anyways…" There's something more pressing she has to say to Uni right now. "I'm sorry about leaving without telling you. I know it's really not like me, but I completely forgot that the auditions were today, and they won't be open again for a long time. I promise I won't make the same mistake again."

"Totally uncharacteristic, I'd say," comments Kei. "Speaking of which, we're still waiting for your interview."

"Uh…" Seeing the position she's in, Noire looks at Uni for approval.

With closed eyes, she takes a moment to consider. "I was mainly annoyed about you disappearing on us since I've been looking forward to this for a while, but given how everything turned out...I suppose I'm fine with you going on with the auditions. But, you have to promise that we can hang out afterwards! I even convinced Kei to join us afterwards!"

"Wait, really?" she asks with slight surprise, earning a nod from her. She's equally eager as Uni to catch up with her.

"It may be for only an hour or so, but yes. It's been perhaps too long since we've talked. If you're interested, these past few years have been pretty interesting for my company."

"Of course! We've got a couple of stories to share as well."