Date Disclaimer: I was a little confused about the timeline of the Christmas special when they moved to the farmhouse. While it aired in 2016, based on all the dates we knew beforehand and a few lines in the show, it seemed like it should have taken place in 2015 so right or wrong, that's what I went with. Special thanks to my researcher who double checked dates to confirm I'm not completely losing it.
Christmas 2015
"Did you hear my mum complaining about the room they've been 'allocated.' She tried to manipulate me into giving her our room."
"Speaking of our room, we'll need to have to have that tree outside our bedroom cut down, I noticed it is starting to rot," said Kate.
"One more thing to add to the growing list," groaned Caroline.
"Yes but I thought we could plant an apple tree there, maybe a pear tree. It'll be fun in a few years when we can pick the fruit, think how much Flora will enjoy it."
"Do you think we will have a partridge in the pear tree?" Caroline joked.
"Ah, for my true love, I will arrange it," said Kate as she wrapped her arms around her wife and kissed her.
"There are lots of birds in that song, where will we fit all the swans a-swimming, geese a-laying, calling birds, French hens, turtle doves and swans can be mean, not good around Flora."
"Okay, a partridge in a pear tree, some small birds, no swans…" said Kate before Caroline interrupted her.
"And drummers drumming and pipers piping will make a lot of noise and they'll wake Flora when she's napping."
"Okay, a partridge in a pear tree, some small birds, no swans, no drummers or pipers…" said Kate before Caroline interrupted her again.
"And lords a-leaping and maids a-milking, that a lot of strangers around Flora and presuming the maids are milking cows and not goats or something small, where will we put them? Well, maybe one but over at Gillian's."
"Okay, a partridge in a pear tree, some small birds, no swans, no drummers or pipers, no lords a-leaping or maids a-milking but possibly one cow or goat but only over at Gillian's…" said Kate before Caroline interrupted her yet again.
"And gold rings, I don't need any others, I only care about the ones we exchanged and I certainly don't need to see any other ladies dancing, just you. Nine really is overkill, don't you think?"
"Okay, a partridge in a pear tree, some small birds, no swans, no drummers or pipers, no lords a-leaping or maids a-milking but possibly one cow or goat but only over at Gillian's, no rings and only me dancing for you but if we ever go to Hebden Women's Disco, we will see more than nine ladies dancing," said Kate. Before Caroline could interrupt again, Kate kissed her and whispered. "Anything for my true love. We have time, I can dance for you now if you wish; Flora just went down for her nap."
"Hmmm, anything?" Caroline asked wide eyed.
Kate looked at her wife with hunger in her eyes, "Yes and about those drummers and pipers and lords and such, I'm sure they could be euphemisms for other things," said Kate and she began to kiss Caroline's neck in that spot that made her melt.
Caroline moaned but could manage no words.
"Pipers and drummers, they are musicians and if played properly, their instrument will sing and geese a-laying, who doesn't like a good a-laying. For everything else, I'm sure we'll think of something."
Over the coming days, they were diligent and thought of something, 12 things to be specific.
Christmas at the new house was a bit rustic but Caroline didn't mind, she had her boys, her girls and the rest of the family. Life was chaotic; a far cry from the orderly, picture perfect life she appeared to live while still married to John but with Kate by her side, it was a good kind of chaos, a marvelously imperfect adventure that she wouldn't trade for anything.
While everyone was dozing or watching the telly, Kate and Caroline were busy tidying up the kitchen when Celia and Alan walked in. "We came in to see if you needed any help but looks like you are almost done in here," said Alan.
Kate nodded and said, "We can always use the extra company and conversation."
"Did Raff show you that 12 Days of Christmas video he found?" Alan asked. "A couple of lads acting out the song, very creative and quite entertaining. Celia liked the pipers piping."
Kate and Caroline did their best not to burst out laughing before Caroline finally cracked, "Kate likes a good piper piping too."
Trying not to laugh, Kate said, "Caroline is really into the Lords a-leaping."
"But Kate, you know I really like a calling bird as well."
They were laughing so hard they began to cry.
Gillian walked in on their conversation, amused by the laughter from Kate and Caroline and the clueless look on Alan and Celia's faces. "What's so funny, what are you talking about?"
Celia looked at her, "these two are losing it. Come on Alan; let's go back into the other room before they go completely mad."
"Must be good to send Celia away, what are you talking about?"
Trying to hold it in, "The 12 Days of Christmas," said Caroline before cracking up again.
"Did Raff show you that video?" Gillian asked. "I liked the partridge in a pear tree."
"Kate really likes a partridge in her pear…," started Caroline but she was laughing so hard, she couldn't quite get the words out.
"Ohhhhh," Gillian exclaimed. "I'm not exactly sure what that means…I mean, I know what it sounds like and it must be something dirty."
"Nope, it honestly is not," snickered Kate.
As they were getting ready for bed, Kate turned to Caroline, "Thankfully Gillian didn't say five gold rings was her favorite."
"Wait, which was that?"
"Wednesday in the family room after we dropped Flora at Gillian's and your mum and Alan went shopping."
With a satisfied smile as she recalled the events, "oh yeah, that was the best kind of dirty."
With a sly grin, Kate responded, "that it was."
"Today was a good day but I'm exhausted," exclaimed Caroline.
"Yeah, me too. Shall we tonight, a partridge in a pear tree?" Kate asked.
"Yes." As they snuggled in bed, Kate held Caroline who whispered, "I love you my pear tree."
"Aww, I love you my partridge, but how did I get to be the tree in this?"
"This was all your idea."
Kate happily said, "yes, yes it was," before pulling her wife just a little closer, "we have the French version to get through next week."
Note: The 12 Days of Christmas has many variations and is believed to be French in origin. Depending on the language and version, there are pipers or fifers, bells or drummers, hares and peacocks, colley birds, collie dogs and five gold rings may have nothing to do with jewelry but might be about ring necked pheasants.
