A/N I'm alive! no really, I am. Sorry there hasn't been much un the way of updates, between the holidays, work, and being sick with Covid, it's been a rough time lately. I'm better now though. hopefully i'll get a more regular schedule figured out and sate your hungry demands for more. In fact, here you go! Enjoy.

38 Changes of the Moon and the Heart

"Gahhhh, it's no use!"

Harry opened his eyes and looked over at Remus. His honorary uncle was sitting cross legged on a mat; his hands currently trying to pull his hair out. They were currently sitting in a training room at Sirius's house, trying to help Remus find his animagus form. It was not going well.

"What's wrong, Remus?" Hermione asked, uncoiling from where she had been reading a book in the corner.

"The damn Wolf keeps scaring my animal away," he grumped, rolling back to stare at the ceiling. "Every time I enter my mindscape, it's there, waiting for me. It won't leave and I can't find my animal if it doesn't let them near me."

"So," Harry started, speaking calmly to help relax Remus, "You're saying that the only animal near you is a wolf, correct?"

"Yes. We've been over this." Frustration was evident in the man's tone.

"A wolf, not a werewolf?" Harry fought a smile as the man's head snapped to look at him.

"Yes." Moony's slow answer seemed leary, as if suspecting a trap or prank.

"You've been trying to find what is right in front of you," Hermione told him simply. She noted the confusion on her old professor's face and explained. "You see the wolf as representing your werewolf, what you are trying to avoid, right?"

"Yeah, it's pretty obvious."

"No, it isn't. Do we see Midnight or Shadow as representing our werecat side?" Harry countered. "No, they are part of who we are. Just as the wolf is part of who you are."

"I'm not following." Remus sat back up, looking at them inquisitively.

"Okay, look at it this way, you've gathered family around you. Even though none of us are blood relations, we are family to you, right?"

"Of course, Pup." Remus looked almost offended.

"You've created a pack." Harry laid a hand on his uncle's shoulder. "You have built your family, your pack, and being around them makes you happy. You care for each one of us, and would defend any of us were we in danger."

"Of course I would, but what does that have to do with this?"

"Moony," Hermione finally interrupted exasperated, "the wolf you meet isn't the werewolf, it's you."

"Me?"

"Yes, you," Harry confirmed, pulling him back up and looking him in the eye. "You are the wolf, the wolf is you. Yes, there may be some of the werewolf change affecting that, but that's ok. It's who you are."

"But we're trying to separate that part of me."

"No, we're not." Hermione contradicted him softly.

"We're really not," Harry confirmed at Remus's doubtful look. "The werewolf is part of who you are, nothing short of death will change that. It has changed you at a basic level, just as the werecat or whatever we're calling what we have, has changed us."

"But I don't want to be a werewolf." Remus's protests were almost whiny.

"Why not?"

"Huh?"

"What about being a werewolf is so bad?" Hermione continued to press. "You turn into a raging bloodthirsty beast once a month. Every girl I know turns into a raging hormonal bloodthirsty beast for four or five days a month."

"You're not that bad love." He withered slightly at her cocked eyebrow, "Ok, not usually."

"The point is, Remus," Hermione turned her attention back to their honorary 'uncle'. "You see lycanthropy as a curse, as a detriment to who you are, when it really is a gift."

"Some gift," he snarked, then winced when she knocked him upside the head.

"Okay, let's look at your complaints. What is it that is so bad about being a werewolf, other than the bigotry."

"The rampaging beast once a month." He tried again.

"Already covered that, but ok." Harry sat in front of him again. "You can control rage and bloodlust with the wolfsbane potion. Yeah, it wipes you out a bit, but using the potion you can just sleep for most of it. Reasonable accommodation can be made for it, as we saw when you worked at Hogwarts."

"I infected you at Hogwarts."

"We got ourselves infected. Several factors played into that, it was not an incident that is likely to be repeated." Hermione countered. "Next?"

"I am a danger to others."

"One night a month if you don't take precautions." Harry answered. "Really, the only reason werewolves are still a threat is because those who want to be evil with it are getting infected. The ones not taking precautions and treating it like it's a weapon are the ones making it a bad thing."

"The fatigue."

"Ok, I'll grant you that one for a few days a month, but the rest you are stronger and have more endurance than a normal witch or wizard," Hermione countered. "We did some discrete testing, all of us have heightened senses, quicker reflexes, and are stronger than we were before."

"That can be a bad thing," Moony pointed out.

"Not going to disagree completely, sharing a dorm room with my fashion obsessed roommates was hell, especially whatever it was that Lavender was calling perfume. On the other hand, we've used those same senses to help people too."

"I can't have children."

"Bullshit." Harry's simple rebuke cut straight through Remus. "That is bullshit and you know it. Hermione and I had a rather frank discussion about it with Madam Pomphrey. She even did some tests. The odds of a werewolf siring a born werewolf are insignificant. Hell, there have been werewolves for thousands of years, and there has never been a record of a born werewolf. Even for us the closest we come to facing birth issues is the fact that Hermione will probably tend towards multiples, twins most likely. But odds of them having our condition? Effectively zero."

"You mean…:"

"No, we aren't at that point yet, but it was discussed. Hermione doesn't seem to go into heat per say, just normal monthly cycles. I also do not seem to share a normal Toms desire to broadcast procreate. Both points were raised and discussed… Much to our embarrassment. The point is, however, that you can have children. You will have children unless we can't remove your head from your third point of contact." Harry was flush, but still speaking firmly to his uncle.

"As enjoyable as this is to watch," Sirius's voice interrupted their session, "I need you three to read this so I can get it back to Dumbledore."

"He cast the Fidelius?" Harry asked as he read the slip Sirius handed him and passed it to Hermione.

"Yup, still not sure why I allowed him to make himself the secret Keeper."

"Because we all know you wouldn't tell Snape and Dumbledore adores his ass?" Harry offered.

"Harry, Language," his wife scolded him.

"What? It's true. He also trusts him unreasonably." Harry continued unrepentantly. "So what if he was his spy, did he make a difference? What is to say Snape wasn't spying on him in return? Or would?"

"Point." Sirius conceded, accepting the note back from Remus. "You two are still coming tomorrow night, for the full moon, right?"

"That's the plan, but I think Pomphrey and Bones want to do some testing first." Hermione confirmed picking her book back up.

"What kind of tests?"

"Well, since Moony here is having a hard time accepting himself," Harry tried to elbow Remus but was blocked. "We are going to see the effects of Animagus shifts during the full moon. Probably see if being in our animal form prevents the change, or is affected as well."

"Sounds fun."

"It will at least be a proof of concept for Remus to follow." Hermione offered. "If we can show that we are unaffected by the moon in our animagus forms, it might motivate him to try harder."

"Best of luck then; I'd better get this back to Albus before he comes looking. Don't want him to know you're here." Sirius waved as he left the room.

"Well, my concentration is shot," Remus announced with a huff, "and, apparently, I have some soul searching to do, but that can wait a few days."

"Why?"

"Cause it's getting late and I promised your parents I'd get you home soon?" Remus poked Hermione in the ribs. "Come on, you can take the book with you."

"We had some other things to work on before we go home," Hermione protested, "besides, we can take ourselves home."

"Shadow jumping? Or whatever it is it's called?"

"Yup," Harry confirmed, "Madam Bones added a note to our DMLE files that we have permission to use it, just with restrictions under the Statute of Secrecy."

"What did you plan on doing?"

"Just some practice. We can't really do much while we're at home, not until Madam Bones gets our underage licenses for us, which she has to be rather circumspect about. Actually I'm not even sure if she's going to do it at all to be honest." Hermione stood after placing a bookmark in her book and began to stretch.

"And just what are you going to be practicing?" Moony was getting suspicious now.

"Playing with stinging hexes mostly," Harry told him innocently.

"Stingers? You've known that spell for years, you two could probably cast it silently by now."

"We can, but we've been playing with some, well, call them side effects," Hermione continued the innocent tone.

"Side effects?" Remus crossed his arms, knowing he was being played. It took less than ten seconds before he gave in and asked, "Ok, I'll bite. what side effects?"

"Cast one at me," Harry demanded, grinning like James used to before playing a prank on Snape.

"Are you ACELEUS!" Remus brought his wand, which he'd drawn hidden from their sight, and a crimson bolt shot straight at Harry's chest.

Moony's jaw dropped at what happened next. Rather than jumping away or shielding, Harry merely cocked an eyebrow and the Marauder before batting the spell aside. With his bare hand. Moony thought it had been a slightly hurried action, as the deflected spell shot straight at his wife. She on the other hand, just grinned evilly as she caught the spell. Her grin grew as she cocked her head, then threw it back at him.

"Here, I think this is yours." Her laugh as the spell caught him in the arm, stinging only a little less than it would normally, was only a little less evil than her grin.

"What... how…?"

"It's difficult, but fairly simple actually." Hermione started to shift into lecture mode before catching herself. Shaking her head a little as if to clear it, she instead asked a question. "What is a spell?"

"It's... " Moony started to answer then sensed the trap of a leading question.

"No trap," she assured him, seeing his suspicious hesitation, "At its simplest, most basic, what is a spell?"

"It's a spell." Remus's confusion was evident.

"What might a muggle call it?"

"I'm not sure, magic?"

"How about energy?" Harry offered.

"I suppose they might. I can see the argument."

"Okay then," Hermione conjured a magelight, a glowing ball of light about an inch in diameter. "Let's assume for a second that they are correct, that a spell is, at its basis, a form of energy. What is easier; directing that energy or opposing it?"

"I think I get it," Remus's experience with the non magical world came to his aide, "You're saying that you can use a small amount of energy to redirect the spell, even without a counterspell."

"That was mostly the idea, but we've discovered a few things ." Harry held out his hand, and a thin shimmer of power seemed to cover his palm. "By directing a small field of pure magic into my palm, I can use that barrier to move the spell."

"Ok, I can see that." Remus touched the field and got the equivalent of a magical static shock. Shaking his hand, he turned to face Hermione. "That explains what he did. What about what you did?"

"Same concept really, but instead of covering my hand, I covered the spell." Hermione held up the magelight. "Imagine the light is the spell, what I did is effectively like adding the outer globe to contain it. It's like… It's like turning the spell into a cricket ball, or better yet, a water balloon. The water is the spell, while the balloon is the energy that I encase it with. Once I encase it with energy, I can control it without affecting the spell inside."

"I… that's genius, how do you…" Remus paused, glancing at each of them before he became very light headed. "You don't have your wands out. You are doing this wandlessly."

"And that is the hardest part about this," Harry agreed, moving Moony over to take the chair Hermione had abandoned. "While the energies for deflection are lower than what is needed to cast it, and it can be done with a wand, the best use is wandless with your off hand."

"How hard is it? And what about catching it?"

"For us it's not bad, but our magic sense is dialed up to eleven." Harry grinned. "That catching seems to vary, and there is some energy bleed we're still working on."

"Energy bleed?"

"Did that stinger feel as powerful as you cast it, or was it a little weaker?" Hermione asked, conjuring a bluebell flame that hovered in the air.

"Weaker I guess." Remus considered as Hermione grabbed the flame and tossed it to Harry. He caught it and tossed it back. It wasn't until the third pass that he noticed what they were showing him. Each time they caught the flame, it got a little dimmer. Now that he knew about it, it was obvious. "The flame, each time you catch it, it gets a little weaker, dimmer."

"Right, and the same thing happens to other spells. Something about interacting with the containment bleeds a little energy off each time it happens." Harry caught the flame and held it. Remus watched as a sphere of light encircled the flame, creating an orb around the fire. Harry tossed it to Hermione and this time the light stayed the same.

"My current guess is the energy containing it bleeds a little bit off to identify and counter the effects initially, like taking a sample." Hermione juggled the flame orb. "Only seems to need to do it initially."

"So you're taking up juggling?" Remus tried to joke, but it just wasn't in him.

"No, we're refining our technique before we move on to things that really hurt, like cutting curses or stunners." Harry assured him.

"Plus we're working on extending that draw off, seeing if I'm able to absorb that energy. I did something similar in the cemetery, gathering energy from a spell. If I can do that, I could probably shrug off a stunner." Harry grinned, and watched as Remus's mind finally threw in the towel and he fainted.


The next night went pretty much how Harry and Hermione expected it to. Minerva, Poppy, and Tonks all showed up for dinner, then they sat down and explained the process.

"Since you have both attained your animagus forms, we can see how they are affected by the full moon." Pomphrey began, pulling out a sheet of parchment with notes on it. "As we discussed before, we will be starting with one of you in your animagus form and one of you normal. When the moon rises, you will be tested, then both shall switch and you will be tested again."

"Harry will be Shadow," Hermione said instantly, "He has the more extreme shift with the full moon, plus it still hurts."

"You think he's closer to a werewolf than you are?" Minerva asked with concern.

"Not sure about closer magically, but his shift is closer physically. He changes size, whereas I only change appearance. I think it honestly has more to do with being male than anything else, but I think it will be a better benchmark."

"If nothing else, when I shift back it should tell us whether it is as painful as the normal way." Harry agreed. "Even if the werewolves can't maintain their animagus forms during the full moon, maybe the shift will be easier from animagus to were vice human to were."

The actual results were just as Hermione and Harry had predicted. Hermione whimpered a little as her body became covered in hair and shifted to her normal full moon appearance. Shadow merely appeared unsettled and cuddled into Hermione as she underwent her change. Afterward, Pomphrey scanned them both, and finding nothing out of the ordinary, they shifted.

Hermione's transformation into Midnight was seamless, with no apparent effort or difficulty. Harry on the other hand, ripped the shirt he had been wearing and was stressing his pants a little as he shifted from Shadow to his normal full moon appearance.

"Note to self, remember the size difference." He muttered to himself as both George and Anne gasped at the change. Harry glanced at their shocked expressions before understanding appeared. "That's right, you haven't seen my change yet have you?"

"Well, it is quite… dramatic." Anne tried to insert humor into her voice, but concern overrode it.

George on the other hand, leaned over towards Minerva and stage-whispered "Any ideas on how I'm supposed to be the intimidating father to a boy who can turn into a panther and that?"

"Well, as they are both feline, I suggest a spray bottle of water." McGonagall's face cracked at the shocked look of indignation on Harry's face.