A/N I'm still not dead! And still not JKR. Hope you all like the new chapter and thanks again to by Brilliant Beta. Unfortunately, I looks like the end of fifth year will be a stopping point for a while. This story will be on Hiatus until I can get my Muse back on her ADHD meds and finish the story. It WILL continue, just take a break for a while. For those that are counting, chapter 59 will be the last chapter in fifth year, so we are getting close.

54 Escalation

Winter gave way to a very wet spring and March brought days upon days of the weird rain-snow-slush combination that was unique to Scotland. Classes continued as usual, Umbridge pursuing her reign of terror, and Dumbledore let it happen. The Defense classes were silent, students were asked to simply read a given chapter then regurgitate it on the homework. Both McGonagall and Flitwick continued to work with Harry and Hermione in both preparing the tutoring sessions as well as their own advanced studies. All in all, the situation was getting intolerable.

"Mr Potter."

Harry looked up from the effectively useless Defense text at the rare spoken word from Umbridge.

"Yes, Professor?"

"Detention, tonight, for failure to follow directions," she snapped, turning away from him and moving back to her desk.

"Ma'am, what direction have I failed to follow? I am reading the chapter as you directed, and I have not spoken until you spoke to me. I don't see what rule I have failed to follow," Harry countered evenly, savoring the warmth of Hermione in his mind as she was sending her love and support to help keep him calm through their link.

"You are not reading, you have not turned the page in over five minutes," Umbridge crowed triumphantly. "As such you are not reading and therefore not following my instructions."

"I was considering the ramifications of the theory posed by Mr Slinkhard concerning the use of varying power to effect different results from the same spell. Combining this with the effect wand motion can have on the outcome of a spell could have very interesting results. That is what I was considering and why I had not turned the page."

"My instructions were to read the text Mr Potter," Umbridge grinned evilly. "Not to daydream. As you have admitted to not following those directions, there will be another detention for disrupting the class in addition to the one you already have."

"Yes Ma'am." Harry cringed internally. After almost seven months she'd finally found a completely made up yet seemingly valid reason to give him a detention. The peace had been nice while it lasted, but she had finally done it.

It took all of five minutes after they left the Defense classroom before they had a plan for that night. They had heard rumors of what happened in Umbridge's detentions, and dealt with what they thought was the aftermath of them, but now they could get evidence. Hermione would follow under his cloak, keeping out of the way yet observing. She would do nothing, even if the rumors proved true, and then they would use her memory as evidence. They suspected that Umbridge was compelling students not to speak of their detentions, so it would take some independent confirmation. Ten minutes later they stood outside McGonagall's office, waiting for permission to enter and tell her about their plan.

"Enter." McGonagall looked up to see the pair standing in her office, then cocked her head in confusion. "I thought our meeting wasn't until tonight."

"It is, though we'll have to reschedule," Harry confirmed, sitting before the large paperwork covered desk. "Madam Umbridge finally found a reasonable sounding yet completely unfounded reason to give me detention."

"Oh?"

"Yes, she claims that he failed to follow her instructions," Hermione explained. "He was considering something written in the chapter we were assigned to read in class, so hadn't turned the page. She claimed that proved that he hadn't been reading. He explained he was considering the implications of what he was reading and she took it as an admission and assigned a second detention."

"I see. You know I can't get you out of this one, right?"

"Oh no Professor, we actually want this to happen."

"What? Whyever for?"

"We've noticed some things, and want a chance to confirm our suspicions. The detentions assigned by Umbridge seem to be bound by some secrecy spell, for we can't get anyone to speak of them that isn't a pureblood in Slytherin. They claim she is very understanding and lets them out early as they were 'fine upstanding member of society and couldn't possibly have performed the acts they were assigned detentions for.'"

"Oh really..."

"Yes Professor, it seems she's been taking a lot of detentions from other professors, especially those served by purebloods and muggleborns. The purebloods always seem to get off, while the muggleborns seem unable to speak of it. I'm also using a lot of dittany and murtlap essence on their hands afterwards, as if something is scratching them." Hermione's face expressed her opinion of how bad those particular events probably were.

"And your proposal?"

"Hermione is going to follow me under my cloak," Harry explained. "She'll watch without interrupting anything unless it's a question of life or death. Then we'll send the memory to Amelia."

"I see. You realize that unless you find a witness who can testify, she'll just claim it's a forgery?"

"She can try, but she took great glee in scheduling the second detention during this weekend's Quidditch match. It is our intention to invite Madam Bones to witness the second herself, with the option to take action if she deems it necessary."

"Seems like a well thought out plan."

"We thought so, but we would like your input if you have any. Also, possible permission for Hermione to be out after curfew if the detention takes as long as we suspect it will. Oh, and if it is as bad as we suspect, we intend on turning the Weasley twins loose on her."

"You're the reason they haven't already been making her life hell?" McGonagall seemed surprised they could control the twisted twins.

"We pointed out that unless we could prove she deserved it, she'd take out any pranks on the innocent. Then we promised to help make the pranks they did pull untraceable to them," Hermione blushed, looking to the side and refusing to meet the Transfiguration mistress in the eye.

"I'm not going to ask how you intend to do that, but unless she starts retaliating against random students, you have my unofficial blessing to prank the… to perform your little operation."

"Thank you, Professor."


"I can't believe that bitch!" Hermione stormed later that night in their quarters.

"We knew it was likely bad," Harry pointed out less than enthusiastically from where he was soaking his hand in essence of murtlap. "But I'll admit that even I never thought she'd use one of those blasted quills."

"It's illegal Harry, those quills are considered dark objects outside of Gringotts. The Goblins have a very specific exception and hold a record of every time one is used. They are only for extremely high level contracts and such." Hermione continued to pace, and Harry was afraid he'd get whiplash if she continued much longer.

"Come here love." He gently grabbed her hand on the next pass and pulled her down into his lap. "We have a plan, and we need to stick to it. She's fair game for the twins however, and I for one intend on helping them anyway I can."

"Oh, she is so getting pranked, and much more." Hermione had a fire in her eyes that Harry had never seen before, and prayed he never found aimed at him.

"I know how you feel about the house-elves, but do you think Dobby or Tippy might be willing to help? They can get around much easier and I don't think she can blame us for things that occur in her quarters, or her office, both of which she personally locks."

"What are you thinking?" Hermione knew the tone Harry was using, he had something specific in mind.

"The twins are working on a new invention, not sure what they mean to use it for but it's a portable swamp. It starts as a small box, maybe yay big," he held his hands about a foot apart. "Maybe a bit bigger. And it expands when opened to encompass a rather large area. I thought if we can figure out a remote activation, it'll flood the Defense classroom as well as her office."

"Harry!" her indignant cry was ruined by the laughter in her voice. "You can't do that in the Defense classroom! If Professor McGonagall gets her pipedream, that will be our classroom soon."

"Good point," Harry seemed to consider for a moment. "Guess we just have to move it into her quarters instead."

"Precisely, that is a much better location," she tried for prim and proper, which lasted all of four or five seconds before she dissolved into giggles. "They seriously figured out how to package a swamp?"

"Yup, the only issue so far is they have trouble cleaning it up, which honestly seems pretty perfect to me."

"True, plus it is fitting if she has issues with the swamp it would point to her shortcomings as a teacher."

"Not likely, she didn't have any trouble starting as a teacher without any qualifications. Although, it would look bad for her if we were able to take care of it when she isn't."

"Think I could take a look at what they have so far?" Hermione snuggled into her husband, looking up at him with her best puppy eyes. "Please?"

"I'm sure they would love to have your input," Harry melted at her look, just as she knew he would. "There was also discussion of several other options, including arming Peeves and sending her anonymous gifts of some of their more severe products."

"Such as?"

"Puking Pustules and an as yet unnamed delusion inducing product were the top mentions. Given the unseemly closeness between her and the Minister, the idea was floated to send her laced chocolates from the Minister as a thank you for all her hard work."

"You don't think that's a bit tame?" Harry looked at her, and he shuddered at the evil gleam in her eyes.

"For an opening shot, no. Besides, remember our plan for the swamp."

"True. Why don't we…"


Tuesday dawned bright and early with half the castle waking to piercing shrieks. Milling students tried to figure out the cause, but even as more joined the throng for breakfast, no one knew. Soon they had confirmation from other students that it had not originated from any of the dorms, nor could anyone identify where in the castle it had come from.

It was the end of breakfast when the answer was found. Ten minutes before the meal ended, the much hated Defense professor strode into the hall. Her normal appearance was marred by her normally dull grey hair radiating a neon blue glow. It was a truly incredible shade, actually glowing and giving off an eerie light as she made her way up the aisle between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables.

"Misters Weasley, two hundred points each from Gryffindor and a month's detention." she spoke with a barely contained rage.

"Excuse me, Professor, but what for?" One of the twins asked, clearly struggling not to laugh.

"You are well aware of why, Mister Weasley."

"Actually Professor, we really don't," the other twin answered her. "And I do believe that the school rules state that you must state your reason for awards or penalties, especially such extreme ones."

"You did this to me!" her facade falling as rage boiled.

"No, we didn't."

"Of course you did, I know you did."

"Do you have any proof?"

"I don't need any, I know you did it and that is enough!"

"Excuse me, Dolores," McGonagall spoke softly behind the confrontation. "Did I just hear you admit you had no proof, yet gave such an extreme punishment to students?"

"It doesn't matter, they did it and must be punished."

"You know yet have no proof?" McGonagall asked sternly. "I'm afraid that without proof, this is not a legitimate punishment. Such extreme punishment for a harmless prank is also very out of order. Such a prank, assuming these two were responsible, would be worth ten points each at the very most and no detentions."

"They undercut my authority! They broke into my quarters!" Umbridge bellowed.

"Yet you have no proof of any of it happening," Minerva pointed out. "I also know you place your own personal charms to secure your quarters. Were they disturbed?"

"Of course not, no one can get through my charms," huffed the Defense professor.

"Well, then how did they prank your quarters? Either your charms failed, or they didn't. As you claim they were undisturbed, they could not have done this."

"I want them PUNISHED!"

"I can see that, however, by your own admission, they could not have entered your quarters," McGonagall spoke evenly as she destroyed the accusation. "Since they could not have entered your quarters, and that is where this occurred, they can not be guilty."

That afternoon, during the seventh year Defense class, someone turned every pink item in Umbridge's office neon blue. Reports stated that it was the exact same shade as her hair was. She tried again to accuse the twins, yet they pointed out that they had been in her class, under her eye, the entire time.

Wednesday saw water running down the stairs from the wing housing the professors quarters. Harry and Hermione had to stifle laughs as a fish swam by them. It lasted most of the day, with every professor commenting on the lack of ability to dispel the swamp that had appeared in Umbridge's quarters.

Thursday there was an anticipatory air at breakfast as the school waited to see what new attack had occurred against the hated Professor Umbridge. Stifled chuckles ran through the hall as the answer walked in. The terror of the school paced up to the head table, ignoring the noises around her. Poking out of her newly restored hair were a pair of cat ears, much like Harry and Hermione sported, but noticeably larger. As the prank occurred in her quarters, she could not accuse any students without admitting she couldn't defend her quarters. The Umbitch was powerless to accuse those she believed responsible, for McGonagall had proven again and again that she had no proof and could not punish them. Harry had heard rumors that teachers had been seen to crack smiles when Umbridge was raging, and had seen Flitwick send for Umbridge to remove a prank from the hall outside his classroom. Her outrage at being summoned had been amusing, and Flitwick's explanation that as the Defense professor, it was her purview to counter such potentially dangerous items was hilarious. The gales of laughter that had followed her failed attempts to remove prank, some laughing gas clouds, had further enraged the witch.