Paulina orders pizza after we've exhausted each other and I lay beside her, running my fingers through her hair. It cascades down her back and falls into place again every time. It doesn't stop me from repeating the action and Paulina smiles at me as she speaks into the phone.

"Yes, that's right, a large," she says. Her sheer robe is slipping down her shoulders and I lean up on my elbows to kiss the bare skin it's provided. She pushes me back with a flushed face, gesturing toward the phone. "Right and a two-liter."

I flop back onto her pillows with an exaggerated sigh, going back to playing with her hair. It only takes her another thirty seconds to finish up the phone call and then she turns her attention back to me with a smile. "Pizza should be here in fifteen minutes."

Paulina holds my stare for a few seconds before she leans down to kiss me. Her hands move toward me but she stops just short of touching me. When I pull away to look at her, trying to figure out what's with her hesitation, she smiles at me, her gaze never leaving mine. Something's wrong.

"What's up?"

She shakes her head, running her fingers through my hair. Normally her fingernails on my scalp would distract me from anything but the hesitation is still on her face. I push her hands away from my head, holding her wrists gently in my hands. "What's wrong?"

Paulina lets out a pent up breath and looks down to my ribs. Oh. Kinda forgot it was still bruised. I glance at my stomach and see the purple-blue bruises dotting along my ribcage and even some left on my abdomen. "It barely hurts now," I tell her, my voice soft. We rarely talk about my dad and when we do, it's usually like this. Quiet. Hesitant. Like we're both afraid we'll scare the other.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. I want to tell her that it's okay if she touches them but something tells me she doesn't want to. That her hesitance isn't because she's afraid she'll hurt me. It's because she's not interested in this situation at all.

I shrug, rolling over onto my back. I stare up at the same ceiling I did most of the summer, intermittent with the ceilings of the summer house, and let out a breath. I don't know when things got so complicated between us but I wish they'd go back to the way they were. When it was just sex between us and feelings were optional. Now I feel like she expects me to say something back.

"It's fine," I tell her, keeping my stare on the ceiling. She puts a hand on the side of my face and kisses my lips softly. Her movements are still hesitant and mine even more so but at least we're still here. As fucked up as things get between us, we always somehow find each other again. As rocky as the seas get, our splintered boats find each other again.


I pull on my boxers and jeans when the doorbell rings and leave with the cash to pay for the pizza. Paulina disappears into the kitchen to get drinks and I head for the door, my stomach growling loudly in the silence. I can practically smell the pizza already.

Keith Montgomery, my teammate,is standing on the other side of the door and he does a double take when he sees it's me. When his eyes drop down to my chest I remember the bruises. And wonder why the fuck I didn't put a shirt on.

"Hey man," I say, leaning on the door frame, casually crossing my arms to cover up most of the bruising. I nod toward the pizza. "Didn't take you too long to get here."

Keith tears his gaze away from the bruises and flicks it up to mine. "Y-Yeah," he mumbles softly, handing over the two liter. I take it from him and Paulina appears suddenly, kissing the side of my cheek before she steals the two liter away. Keith watches her go and I turn to see her. She pulled a pair of shorts on underneath the sheer robe but her top is just her bra. Which I find sexy as hell.

I look back toward Keith with a grin. "Don't be checking my girl out, man." He splutters almost instantly and I laugh, waving him off. "I'm just playing." I hold out the cash toward him and he gratefully takes it, his face practically on fire as he hands over the pizza.

"H-Hope you enjoy," he says softly, his eyes immediately darting away when I look at him. "Th-The pizza I mean. Hope you enjoy it." Keith hesitates a second longer before he's sprinting down the driveway. He disappears into his car and I can just make out the look on his face as he speeds away without putting his seatbelt on first.

I push the door closed behind me and carry the pizza into the dining room, depositing it on the table. Paulina's pouring the soda into wine glasses and she pauses before adding a bit of alcohol to the drink. I make her squeal out of surprise when I'm suddenly there, sliding my arms around her waist.

She giggles and I swing her around, planting a kiss to her cheek. Paulina leans back against my chest with an exhale, her fingers dancing up my arm. I miss this. We used to spend our days like this. Pizza and a bottle of wine was as good a date as some fancy ass restaurant. She never cared about that shit before, it was just about being happy. But it hasn't been about that in a long time.

Since she came back from wherever the hell she was the summer before our junior year, she's been into appearances and making sure the right people see us at the right places. I hate putting up with that kind of shit but sometimes, it's worth it for the few minutes that are just ours.

"Come on, let's eat, I'm starving," she says, pushing away from me. She leans up and kisses my cheek before grabbing her glass. She takes a long sip of the alcohol and I watch the way her throat moves as she swallows. The slight pink that appears when she realizes I'm staring at her. Her eyebrows draw down and her mouth frowns. God, I could trace the curve of her lips forever.

Paulina pushes me back by my chest. "What are you staring at?" she asks with a small laugh. I can see the question still in her eyes and I wonder if she'd push me away if I told her what I was thinking. If I told her that I've missed just being here with her. I wonder how she'd react if I told her that I think about kissing her more often than I actually do kiss her. If I told her what it meant to me in sophomore year when I asked her not to leave me and she said she wouldn't. She broke my heart when she did and I haven't let myself need her or anyone else like that since.

"Nothing."


Dad's car is in the driveway when I get home but it's just past midnight so I do my best to be quiet. The stairs squeak when I walk on them but dad doesn't stir at the sounds. I slip into my room and push the door closed behind me. Tomorrow's Friday, officially one week until our first game of the season. It's the last thought on my mind before I drift off to sleep.

I'm a little disoriented when I wake up and I realize someone's knocking at my door. It takes me a minute to realize it's probably dad. I tell him to come in and my voice sounds like I swallowed gravel in my sleep. Must be the alcohol from last night.

Dad eases the door open and gives me a smile. "Hey, how you feeling?" He leans against the door frame, like it's a casual conversation to have with your kid. And I guess in a way it is. We've gotten along more in these past few days than we did throughout the entirety of my high school life.

I flop back down onto my pillows and stare up at the ceiling, giving dad a shrug. "Tired," I tell him, one of the most honest things I've said to him. It's weird though, insomnia decided not to fuck with me last night and I was out like a light as soon as I hit the bed.

"I heard you get in kind of late last night," dad continues and I can feel his eyes on me. Is he trying to figure out where I was or what I was doing while I was away from here? Shit, I'll tell him. If he wants to know more about my life, I'll tell him what I can.

"I was with Paulina," I say, looking toward him just in time to watch the corners of his mouth lift upward. I nod once before focusing my stare on the ceiling again. "Yeah, her dad wanted you to call him sometime. Said he misses getting together with you."

Dad takes a step into my room and it's weird. I feel the tension as soon as he tries to close the distance between us. I'm glad he can't see my hands because they ball into fists almost immediately. I can't help it.

"I keep meaning to give him a call and invite him out for a drink but work's been busy lately," he says with a shake of his head. "You heard Payne is moving, right? With Bradford out for the next few months while he recuperates, that puts me out of two officers."

I nod even though I only know about Shawn Bradford because of the papers and Andrea Payne because dad's partner, Chuck Dower, told me so. Dad hasn't talked to me about work in months and I don't know why he's decided to tell me now.

"I should have Andrea around before she leaves town, invite her over to play some cards. You remember when I used to do that?" he asks and I nod again. Dad would invite some of the officers around for cards over the weekends. Mom would play the doting wife and make recipes Kwan's mom wrote up for her while I played the hard-working quarterback son.

Everyone loved to ask me about football or even my job at Alex's but if the conversation turned to college or my future, I'd shut it the fuck down. I hated having to tell them every time that no I wasn't planning on going to college and yes I understood that it'd make it harder to get a job outside of Alex's. Yes, I knew that meant I'd probably never leave this town and yes, I knew I could probably go pro with football if I wanted to.

"You should," I tell dad, making a mental note to stay at Kwan's the night he has her over. Because with dad, it's never just one person over. It's half a dozen and more cases of beer than they can drink in a single sitting. It's waking up in the morning with my dad still at the kitchen table, passed out on a deck of playing cards, vomit streaked down his front.

I always have to herd him into the shower and provide the medication when he realizes just how hungover he is. Then he lays down in his bed, claiming it'll only be a few minutes but he doesn't resurface for at least twenty-four hours. Still, I'd rather play the role of nurse than punching bag.

Dad hums softly and takes another step inside. It makes my hands clench tighter but I don't stop him. How can I? I should just get the fuck up and go take a shower. I'm probably already running late for school. If I pull another tardy in Ms. Anderson's class, she'll probably have my head.

"You should join us. I could teach you how to play poker."

The offer throws me for a minute and my brain scrambles for a reason why dad would teach me. What does he gain out of me knowing how to play cards with him? Is it a way to humiliate me when I suck at the game? A way to prove how much he's better at it? Jesus Christ, he probably just wants to play cards with his kid.

"Yeah, that sounds like fun," I tell him, rolling onto my side. I prop my head up in my hands, my elbow crushing my pillow in this position. I feel like any second now, my hands will start shaking and he'll see and Saturday will happen all over again. But I don't shake and he keeps smiling.

My phone startles me when it vibrates against my floor and I grab it up. The screen flashes Danny's name across it and I lift my gaze to dad. "Guess that's our cue to get going," I tell him.

Dad nods, leaving my room with a soft, "I'll see you after school." I wait until I hear him reach the bottom of the stairs before I open the text message. I doubt Danny's texted me with anything I don't want my dad to see but there's always the chance that he'd have problems with it. Kwan brought a guy over to my place once and dad picked up on it. I don't think I've gone a month since without hearing some kind of homophobic slur from my dad.

From: Danny Fenton

Um… Dash?

Yeah…? Why would he be texting me if he didn't want to be reaching me? Who else does he think it is? He gave me his phone, he should remember. Oh wait… that's right. I forgot I put my name as something vague. Though, to be fair, mechanic is fucking hilarious in the right context.

To: Danny Fenton

What's up?

I resituate my pillows into a more comfortable position and glance around my room again. It's been so long since I've been able to just lay in my bed in the mornings without dad barging up here and telling me to get going.

From: Danny Fenton

Do you have any spares today? I have two so if you can, we should try to meet up in the tutoring center today. If not, we can probably meet at my place next weekend.

I stare down at the screen for a second, wondering why he didn't just talk to me at school. I don't give a fuck if he comes up to me and asks about- Oh. He'd probably get shit from my friends. Whatever, I don't care. If all he can do is meet up at school, that's fine by me.

To: Danny Fenton

Sure, I have a free period after lunch before the dreaded algebra. Think you can prepare me for the class in an hour?

My phone drops onto the mattress again and I roll over toward my door. I should probably get up and get moving but ugh. My bed's so warm and it'd probably be easier if I just skipped. I could go back to sleep and pretty much forget everything. Alex isn't expecting me in today. I could just sleep for a little while longer.

Another text comes through and I groan, forcing myself up from the mattress. Maybe I'll stop by the garage after school. Make up for my shitty behavior yesterday. God, was that really just yesterday?

Dad's pretty loud downstairs and I think he's trying to make sure I stay awake. I gather up my phone and clothes and head into the bathroom, taking a quick shower. The water is cold but only because I'm too lazy to turn the dial anymore. It sticks sometimes so I have to really jam it to get it to turn and I'm way too tired to deal with that this morning.

I'm toweling off my hair when there's a knock at the bathroom door. I stare at the knob for a second before turning back to the mirror. "Come in, I'm decent." I drop the towel into the laundry basket and run my fingers through my hair, trying to get my hair to just stay down. Jesus, why the fuck does it look like a rooster right now?

Dad opens the door and smiles when he sees me already showered and dressed. "I made you some coffee. Left it in your travel mug on the table," he says, lifting his own mug to his mouth. His swallow is loud in the silence and I clear my throat, tearing my gaze away from my reflection.

"Thanks." I don't really know what to do with this side of dad. I never got to see it before and I wonder if this is still making up for what happened or if this him trying to make an effort. It probably won't last but my stupid desperate heart wants to believe that maybe it might.

I gesture toward my bedroom and he steps out of the way, following me into my room as I gather my shoes and backpack. I sink down onto my mattress and roll my phone over, tapping on Danny's message as I untie one shoe.

From: Danny Fenton

Okay, see you after lunch

I debate on typing anything back but in the end, I just click the screen off and start pulling my shoes on. I can feel the silence between us and I'm trying to figure out what to say when dad breaks the quiet first. That's another thing that's different. He doesn't usually notice the awkward tension between us. He never did with mom.

"So you and Paulina, huh?" dad asks and it takes me a second to remember that I never told him when we started dating. He was spared hearing the dramatic tale of our fucked up relationship.

I shrug, tying my shoe before looking up to dad. "We're not really dating," I tell him even though last night confused me. Last night was how we used to be. Tangled in each other's arms and staring in each other's eyes like we could find the secrets to the universe in them.

"You're not?" dad asks and he sounds surprised. Like we couldn't be anything other than together. I guess he picked up on at least something different about me in sophomore year. Mom actually talked to me about it but dad never asked. Until now.

"Not exactly," I say, picking my words carefully as I rise from my bed. My backpack groans as I sling it onto my shoulder and I trudge toward the door, stepping past dad. He follows after me and we're down the stairs before I speak again. "To put it frankly, at the moment, we're just fucking."

Dad's eyebrows rise on his forehead and I realize it's been a long time since he's been able to hear me swear. I always choose my words carefully around him. Letting that slip from my mouth wasn't the plan at the beginning of the sentence but it's out now and I can't take it back.

"Well… alright then," he says softly, seemingly unsure of what to do now.

I shrug, turning on my heel to head into the kitchen. He hesitates a moment more at the bottom of the stairs before he's following me again. "Honestly, it's working right now so I don't care." It's a lie but whatever. I can fool myself into thinking that I don't care about her that much. She's just a body when we're together, nothing more. But I remember when that wasn't all she was. I remember when she was soft lips whispering words of comfort and hands that dried my tears. There was a time when she was gentle words and delicately placed kisses. I remember when she was kind and things weren't so complicated and god, we were so much more than just fuck buddies.

The travel mug is just within my reach and I snatch it up from the table, gulping down a few scalding mouthfuls to drown out the taste of Paulina's kisses before dad speaks again.

"If you're happy… then I'm happy for you," he says softly and I think my heart stops. I can't remember the last time dad wanted to know if I was happy. I still don't know if this is making up for lost time or the fact that he crushed my ribs last weekend but fuck, I like it. I don't mind coming home to him waiting up or hear him ask where I was the night before. He's starting to feel like a parent again and I could get used to this.

"I am, dad," I say, my voice threatening to break and betray me. But it's not Paulina that I'm talking about this time. "I'm really happy."


Oooh poor Dash hoping for some kind of affection from his dad. Deep down he probably knows that it won't last but he's still hoping that it does. Poor child, he doesn't get anything from me. It's no fun if it's easy for him.

So things are starting to be set into motion here, Danny's coming into play more often from now on and his role becomes pretty vital to Dash fairly early on, so stick around for that. As for Paulina... eh, you'll have to read to see how that plays out. I imagine some of you will be both proud and disappointed in Dash multiple times when it comes to the two of them.

For those of you that don't know me through the blog, you can find me on tumblr as textsfromghosts. It's a Danny Phantom themed blog where characters text each other. It's kind of cool...? I don't know man, check it out if you want to. Just thought I'd give you all another place to contact me if you wanted to.

The title of this chapter comes from the song 'Keep Lying To Me' by Real Friends. It's off their new album 'The Home Inside My Head' and I can't say enough good things about that album. You know when you hear music and you can look back months or even years later and remember how you felt when you first heard it? That's how I feel about this album. I already know that when I look back years from now, I'll remember what I was thinking and feeling my first listen through of this album. Real Friends is a great band regardless but this album really hit close to home for me. If you haven't heard of them, you should check them out, they're amazing. And if you have heard of them or you listen to them because I mentioned them, let me know. I'm always up for talking about music so feel free to message me.

Thanks for reading this chapter and I hope to hear your thoughts either in a review or a message. Thanks a ton, your thoughts and reviews make my day!