Most of the people not sticking around for another night are gone by four and I'm channel flipping when the last two, Dale and Seth, pull away from the curb. They didn't drive in together but when Dale offered him a ride home, Seth jumped at the chance to ride in his Dodge Charger. Hell, I think I'd give my left leg to ride in his car, too.
Danny joins me on the couch, a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand. He takes a slow sip from it before he glances toward me. "Anything good on?"
I give him a shrug in response and flip the channel again. Another commercial for a car starts and I let it play through before I switch the channel. Literally nothing's on and I don't know what I expected, it's Saturday.
There wasn't a chance to ask him before now so I cut the television off and flick my gaze to Danny, watching as he swallows. He looks hesitant, like some kind of cornered animal, and fuck, I hate that he knows how that feels.
"Are you sure you're cool with spending the night again?" I ask, exhaling slowly. "I can call a taxi for you, if you want."
Danny shakes his head, glancing behind him before he looks back at me, smiling. "No, it's fine. I like your friends," he says softly, his gaze dropping to the floor. His smile is hesitant but at least it's still there. I'm not really sure how most of them feel about him but… it's good to know that he likes them.
"Y-Yeah?" I ask, moving from the couch. I haven't eaten anything yet and I'm seriously craving some pepperoni pizza. I glance over my shoulder at Danny. "You want to get some pizza?"
Danny stays on the couch for a few seconds before he follows after me. "Sure, that sounds great." He sets his can of soda down on the counter next to the coffee pot and I find my shoes by the front door. Somehow, he managed to keep his on last night and I tell him where to find them. He disappears up the stairs and I tug my shoes on.
Star comes down the stairs with a box in her hands, Jeff and Blake trailing after her, and I glance between the box and her. She raises an eyebrow as she sets the box on the table. "Where are you going?"
Roxane's behind the three of them and crosses her arms as she moves through the kitchen, glancing at me over the breakfast bar. I look her way for a second before I focus on Star, jerking my thumb toward the front door.
"Danny and I are gonna get some pizzas. That place on the boardwalk's still open, right?" I ask, glancing between my teammates.
Star nods, pulling the lid off the box and she unloads a few board games before turning back to me. "Do you need some cash?"
I'm pretty sure I still have an 'emergency' fifty in my wallet. "Nah, I've got it covered," I respond, glancing at the four in the kitchen. "You guys cool with pepperoni?"
They're all quick to agree and Danny's back down the stairs within a few minutes. We leave the house together and the smell of the ocean hits me full-force. God, I remember spending weeks in the summer at this beach with mom and dad. Back before his hands were the only thing we knew. Fuck, life was a hell of a lot simpler back then.
Danny's quiet next to me and we easily fall into step beside each other as we move past the row of houses and onto the boardwalk. I don't know why I suddenly feel the need to play the role of tourist guide but I start pointing out all the places I've been – telling Danny that the ice cream parlor at the end of the boardwalk is the best place to get a waffle cone.
As we move further down the boardwalk, I point out a thrift store that really only has clothes and furniture from the fifties. It's either donated by the old people that live here or by their families, finally going through the attic after their grandparent has started pushing up daisies.
Danny points somewhere out and asks me what it is and I let him know it's the biggest tourist trap ever. They overprice seashells they find on this beach, claiming they're from other countries and shit. Paulina got me one of their shark-tooth necklaces a couple summers ago and neither one of us were sure if it's an actual tooth or just a sharpened shell.
"Next to the tourist trap is an art gallery," I tell him, glancing past him to get a look at the place again. I remember going there with mom one summer while dad slept off his drunk stupor. This beach is where it all first started.
He and mom had been fighting a lot about the financial pressure that trip was taking on us. Dad said it was cause mom didn't know how to budget money. Mom said it was cause dad didn't know how to stop drinking. I remember sitting at the top of the stairs, listening to them argue again and again, my whole summer like one fucked-up soundtrack on repeat. Until the day I got an earful of the remix.
Dad pushed mom and she almost fell over backward. She'd caught herself on the edge of the couch when he hit her across the face. I remember my fists clenching and even though I couldn't have been older than five, I wanted to protect her. I hated hearing the pain in her voice.
Mom called for me and I was flying down the stairs instantly. We left that night and mom said that things might be a little rough for us. She kept telling me that she loved me and we'd figure everything out. We stayed in a hotel that night but dad found us in the morning. Mom put the TV on a cartoon channel and they stood just outside the hotel room. They tried to keep their voices low but I heard every word they exchanged.
Dad begged mom to come back, said he'd fucked up and he'd fucked up bad. He told her he never meant to hit her and that it wouldn't happen again. Mom resisted for a long time but by the end of the conversation she gave in. We went out for ice cream as a family and that night, we stayed in the beach house again.
I lean my arms on the railing outside the pizzeria and let out a breath, staring down at the water I spent a lot of my childhood years in. I've never told anyone that I used to come here as a kid. It isn't really something I like to think about so I never brought it up.
Danny joins me at the railing, leaning his arms on it too. His gaze stays on the ocean and I wonder what's running through his mind. This place holds so many fucked-up memories for me and they're twisted up with some really great ones too. I wish I could learn to separate the two but this place will always remind me of both pain and happiness. Bruises and ice cream. The warm sun on my skin, the scent of the ocean in the air, clashed with the pain of my father's fists and the sound of my mother screaming.
I don't know how long we stand outside the pizzeria but eventually, we make our way inside and order three large pizzas, two with pepperoni and one Danny convinces me to try called "cheeseburger." I didn't think the two could be combined but what the hell, it's worth a shot.
We sit on stools near the front of the shop, staring out at the ocean again, as we wait for the food. I think we say a few words to each other, but we mostly watch people passing by out the window until the pizzas are ready.
I start to give the guy behind the counter my fifty but Danny lays down one first, glancing toward me with a smile before he looks back at the guy. "You can keep the change, I don't care," he says, taking the pizzas from the counter. "Thank you."
We leave the shop together and I have to ask. "Why'd you uh… why'd you pay for that?" I glance toward him, raising an eyebrow. He meets my gaze before shrugging. "I was gonna pay for it, I told Star I was when she offered me some money."
Danny shrugs again, letting out a breath. He glances back toward me with a grin. "Believe me. My parents don't even notice when a fifty goes missing. Not even when several fifties go missing." He turns his gaze back toward the ocean but I think I catch a touch of sadness passing over his face.
The more he talks about his parents, the more it sounds like they're straight up ignoring him. Jesus, I can't even imagine that. My schedule usually conflicts with dad's and we're home at opposite times but at least he acknowledges me even when we're not fighting.
"I'm sorry, man," I mumble, feeling like that's the worst thing I could say right now. There are probably a million better things I could say but I can't think of any of them. I don't know how to tell him that if we'd been friends before now, I wouldn't have let him grow up thinking that he was boring or uninteresting. I wouldn't have let him be ignored and I would have given him the attention he deserves. Cause Danny's the farthest thing from uninteresting. I just hope it's not too late to make sure he sees that.
He exhales but doesn't say anything in response. I wish I could tell him everything my brain's come up with but words aren't easy for me. They've never come to me quickly or at the right times and I really wish it was the thought that counts in these situations. But he'll never know what goes through my brain cause I don't know how to say it.
"It's fine," he finally says, exhaling out as he speaks. I wonder if anyone's said that to him before now or if I'm the first to even think it. God, I wish I could say it. I mean… I could make an incredibly shitty attempt…
"D-Do you need some help carrying those?" I ask, offering to take one of the pizza boxes from him. Danny lets me take the top one before we fall into step beside each other again. Silence usually isn't uncomfortable between us but this feels awkward. It feels like the kind of quiet where we're each waiting for the other to break it. To make it okay again to talk about normal shit. I'm not sure how to make the tension ease between us again but I'm pretty sure poking around in his life isn't the way… but curiosity gets the better of me and I can't stop from asking.
"Um, I-I kinda had a question for you," I say, glancing toward him for a second before focusing on our feet. I don't really want to look at him when I ask this. "I uh… I haven't seen your friends in a long time. I was wondering what happened… to you guys. I thought you were really close."
Danny exhales heavily and it sounds annoyed. I look up at him and he's frowning. Shit. I didn't mean to piss him off, this was supposed to ease tension. Ease, not make it worse.
"S-Sorry man, I don't know why I asked that. I-" He stops me by giving me a look and suddenly everything I was trying to say dies on the tip of my tongue. We come to a stop in the middle of the boardwalk and the sound of seagulls and lapping waves slowly dies out as I listen to him draw in a breath. Fuck, the sound is mesmerizing and I can't stop hearing it on repeat even after he starts talking.
He glances away from me before he speaks, a twinge of sadness in his voice. "Tucker got into college early. Just before our junior year. He's a sophomore right now, at a college in Oregon." He blows out a breath, glancing back toward me with a shrug. "Sam quit high school in the middle of our junior year, comes back every now and again to check in. I'd tell you why she's gone but it's not really my story to tell." He shrugs and starts down the boardwalk again like it doesn't matter but I'm guessing from his reaction, it does.
I jog to catch up with him and before I can open my mouth, Danny glances toward me with another sigh. "Don't say you're sorry and don't say that it sucks. I don't need any kind of sympathy, okay?"
Shit, I really shouldn't have brought this up. I open my mouth to apologize and he raises an eyebrow, almost challenging me to do so. I bite down on my bottom lip instead and turn my gaze toward the row of houses, the one on the end being Star's. It used to be a bright yellow but last year, her family had it repainted into a lonely sort of gray color. I try to focus on that instead but I end up giving a sidelong glance to Danny again.
He rolls his eyes, a small smile pulling at his mouth. "It's fine. Just don't apologize, seriously," he says as we step off the boardwalk. He waits until I look at him again before he bumps his shoulder against mine, letting out a nervous laugh with the movement. I don't feel like the tension's completely gone between us yet, but I'm able to return his smile and nudge him back, and I guess that's a good start.
We're welcomed back like fucking heroes when we bring the pizzas in. Jeff was kicking Blake's ass in Monopoly but they clear the table in a few seconds when they get a look at the pizza boxes Danny and I set on the counter.
"You should try the cheeseburger first," Danny says, grabbing two plates from the cabinet. He passes one to me and shrugs off my thanks. I slide a slice of cheeseburger onto each of our plates before dishing out a slice of pepperoni as well.
Everyone that's decided to stay for the night falls on the pizza like a pack of locusts and Danny and I barely make it out of the feeding frenzy. They're all in the kitchen, talking and laughing really obnoxiously loud, so we move to the living room, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the couch. We're sort of facing each other and Danny points out a tiny container of pickles on the edge of his plate. "You gotta have some of these on top, they really make it taste like a cheeseburger."
I give him a look and he insists, popping the top off and holding it out toward me. I'm pretty sure I'll never hear the end of it if I don't give this thing the 'full experience' or whatever he'd come up with, so I swipe a few pickles and lay them across my pizza, flicking my gaze up to him. He's not bothering with his own pizza yet, intent on watching my expression, and it makes me snort. "Alright, Danny. If this sucks, I'm gonna kill you."
Fuck me, I can't believe my own taste buds. Forget killing Danny, I want to fucking marry him for introducing me to this. What the hell is with him and finding these amazing foods? He's ruining my life really, that's what his plan is. Turn me off from every other version of the same food.
"Ohmyfuckinggod," I say in one breath, immediately diving in for another bite. This is some of the best shit I've ever tasted and it might even rival that hot dog place he showed me. Danny's grinning and I realize he's still watching me. I reluctantly drop my pizza back onto my plate and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. "Stop staring at me and eat."
Danny laughs softly, finally dropping his gaze to his pizza. "Fine." He places pickles across his pizza before lifting it into his mouth, biting down through it with a grin. He runs his tongue along his top lip before he chews, his gaze falling to his plate as we eat.
We're pretty silent as we eat, the only sounds really being the people in the next room. It sounds like they're fighting over the last plate and I know Jeff is probably just holding his pizza in one hand. Every time we have pizza at his house or anywhere, he just eats it straight out of his hand. I remember when I was over at his place for the first time and his mom commented about my manners being better than his. He flipped me the bird under the table and his parents couldn't figure out what made me laugh so hard.
"So." I swallow a hunk of pizza before I drain a few sips from my Coca-Cola and glance toward Danny. "Where the hell do you find shit like this? It's fucking amazing."
He laughs softly and leans back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know. I just find the best things in random places," he says softly, exhaling. I don't know when the hell he has the time to find all this shit but I'm guessing it's on the nights he doesn't stay with his parents… God, I want to broach the subject so fucking badly but I can't. Not after how badly the questions about his friends went. I can just imagine how well he'd react to me asking if his parents are beating the shit out of him. So I stay silent and he keeps his pain inside.
We only get about half an hour of silence before the others move into the living room, abandoning half-eaten pizza slices on the table and on the counter. Jeff and Blake dive onto the couch behind us and Danny and I move out of the way when they start to wrestle.
"You know what we should do?" Star asks and everyone turns to look at her and she grins. "We should build a fire and sit outside for a while."
Jeff raises up from where he's tackled Blake, the springs in the couch squeaking with the movement. "And do what? Tell ghost stories?"
Danny lets out a snort and I glance toward him but I don't get the chance to ask him what's funny. Star scoffs, talking over Jeff as he starts in with a barrage of most likely god-awful ghost puns.
"No, Jeff," she responds, rolling her eyes. She places one hand on her hip as she glances around the group of us, all staring up at her. Her grin widens a little. "We play guilty party." While the rest of us give her blank stares in response, Danny lets out a small laugh. Star meets his gaze and she grins. "So you've heard of it?"
Danny rolls his eyes. "'Course. It's the best way to play," he says, glancing around at the rest of us. His eyebrows slowly draw down and he seems to realize that we have no idea what they're talking about. He opens his mouth like he's gonna explain but Star claps her hands together and my attention is back on her.
"So, basically, you all know how to play Never Have I Ever. It's like that, except with a twist," Star says, gesturing for us to follow her. One by one we stagger up from where we're spread across the living room floor and trail after Star.
She's reaching underneath the sink for a box of matches and spins around toward us. "So basically, whoever says 'never have I ever' is judged by the rest of the group to find out if they're telling the truth or lying. Whoever's wrong has to take a shot." Star glances around at us. "Sound good?"
"Sounds fucking awesome," Blake says with an overzealous grin. He's practically bouncing on his heels again as he glances around at all of us. He hesitates a second or two before he moves to the back door. "I'll start gathering up firewood."
As soon as he's disappeared, Star assigns us all tasks. She tells Jeff and I to help Blake and I head for the door before I toss a glance back toward Danny. I want to ask him to come help me find firewood but I'm pretty sure Star won't be awful to him. I think she can already tell that Danny and I are gonna be great friends. At least, I sure as hell hope we will.
The guys and I gather the firewood in about half an hour and Jeff darts inside the house to get the matches from Star. Blake and I surround the pile of wood with stones before Jeff returns, dousing the top of the wood in lighter fluid. He digs a rolled-up newspaper from his back pocket and lights the tip on fire before tossing it onto the middle of the pile of wood.
Flames shoot straight up into the evening sky and we all take a few steps back, giving the fire less of a chance to singe our eyebrows off. Jeff grins at the two of us and behind him, I see Danny and a girl from the cheerleading team, Anna or something, carrying a cooler. Danny grins at me when he looks up and I shoot him a thumbs up.
"Nice fire boys," Anna says, dusting her hands off when they set the cooler down a little bit away from the fire. She takes a few steps closer to the fire and holds her hands out toward it. Danny joins her after a few seconds and he keeps his gaze on the flames.
It's only quiet outside for a few minutes before the others start trickling out of the house and join us at the fire. Roxane's carrying more liquor and she pops open the top of the cooler to drop some of the cans down inside. She pushes the lid shut again before another cheerleader, Sadie Cooper, appears with more ice.
Danny moves away from the fire and back into the house. I consider going inside too, see if there's anything else I can help with but I decide not to. Especially since Roxane tosses a beer can my way. She gives me a smile as I crack it open and drain nearly half of it in one go before lowering the can to my side.
A couple more girls from the cheerleading team make their way outside and within ten minutes, everyone's standing around the fire, Star being the last one out. She pushes the back door shut behind her and joins us at the fire, passing out empty Solo cups and shot glasses.
Once we're each given one of each and the Solo cups have all been filled, we're instructed to sit on one side of the fire. Apparently this game is all about reading facial expressions and body language because Star insists it's very important to watch someone as they're talking. We make a circle on one side of the fire and I grab my beer can from the other side.
"Alright, so," Star says, plopping down next to Danny. He's sandwiched between her and Jeff but he doesn't look uncomfortable at all. In fact, he looks pretty interested in whatever Jeff's saying. My teammate talks a lot of shit but at least his stories are actually worth hearing. "Dash, sit down."
At the mention of my name, I glance up at Star and move to sit beside her. Danny gives me a smile as I sink down in the sand and I nod toward him, still nursing my can of beer. I'm sure by the end of this game we'll both be as drunk as he was last night.
"Play will start with Dash since he's on my right and I make the rules," Star says with a grin. "The way it works is simple, you say something you've never done and everyone in the group takes a sip if they've done that thing. Then, you all vote on if you think Dash was telling the truth. If he wasn't, he has to take a shot of vodka. If he was, then anyone who said he wasn't has to. Got it?" Star glances around at all of us before grinning widely at me. "Dash, start the game."
"Make it a good one!" Blake calls from down the line, his hands cupped around his mouth. Like he needs any kind of amplifier for his loud-ass voice.
I push my cup of beer down in the sand to make it stay upright before I lean back on my hands, staring up at the evening sky. Summers here are hot as hell but autumn is pretty nice. Like the wind has nothing better to do besides blow across all of us, keeping the heat from the fire from being uncomfortable.
"Never have I ever…" I run my tongue across my teeth before grinning toward the others. "Done a keg stand." I know half of my teammates have and Star was known throughout our freshman year as 'the keg stand girl.' It's a reputation she worked really hard to live down.
"You dick," Star mutters, holding her cup with one hand as she takes a sip, her other hand flipping me the bird as she drinks. Her reaction surprises a laugh out of me and Danny glances between us like he's trying to figure out the story behind that response.
After drinks are taken, Star flicks her gaze toward me. "I feel like you would have told me if you'd done a keg stand. At least at some point, it would have come up." She glances toward Danny and he shrugs. "You have to give your answer."
Danny's cheeks are slightly flushed and I know it's not from the fire. It's not that warm and it's barely reaching me even though I'm the closest to the fire. "Um…" He glances down into his cup before shrugging. "I think you probably have."
"I know you haven't man, you woulda told me," Jeff says with a grin, leaning back on his hands to look at Roxane. She doesn't think I have either and the more people that think that, the more I grin. Over half of the people around the fire think I have but the ones that don't are pretty insistent. Even going so far as to say that it's not something I'd be able to keep from anyone.
When the play is back to me, I let out a laugh and tip my cup at them all. "Well, I'll have you know that I have done a keg stand. After freshman year. Remember Blake? During the summer, when we were at that dive bar together in Miami?"
Star and Jeff start arguing with me, trying to say that I purposely said something they'd never witnessed before but I'm too busy paying attention to Blake to really hear what they're saying. His whole face flushes as the memory hits him again and I'm pretty sure he tried to block that from his mind. He was so high off whatever he'd been smoking before we met up that he ended up making out with the bartender for a while before he came to and realized that said bartender was a guy. He nearly had a breakdown and spent the next six weeks texting me to help him figure out if he was gay. I don't really care if he is or isn't, doesn't make a difference to me, but the look on his face tonight is priceless.
"F-Fuck, I remember that man," he says, gesturing for Star to pass him the bottle of vodka. She obliges, glaring at me as I watch Blake pour himself a shot. I'm sure he's washing down the memory of that bar, especially considering how quickly he throws it back.
Shots make their rounds and the play moves to Star. She chews on a hangnail as she thinks of one, her gaze fixated on the water in the silence. No one talks while she thinks and just as Jeff leans across Danny to nudge her, she comes up with something.
"Ooh, I got it!" she says, batting Jeff's hand away. "Never have I ever been to Hawaii."
Danny takes a tentative sip of beer, his cheeks flushing when no one else has. "Y-You guys have seriously never been?" he asks, glancing around the group before his gaze drops to the sand. "It's a great place. Really beautiful." His face is still flushed and he won't lift his gaze from the sand but conversation resumes around him.
I know Star's never been because she was supposed to be there for a cheerleading competition this spring, but she broke her ankle the weekend before. I came over to her house a lot during that week and she surprised me with an impressive collection of video games. And again when she kicked my ass at several titles.
Jeff and Blake are the only two that have to take shots again cause most of the girls know she wasn't at the competition and I guess Danny's just going with popular vote this time. After the boys have downed their shots, the attention turns to Danny and his face is flushed as he speaks.
"Uh… n-never have I ever…" He flicks his gaze up to the group before dropping it again with a small exhale. "Been to space."
Jeff scoffs. "Are you serious, dude? No one here's been to space. You kinda wasted your turn," he says with a shake of his head. "You're telling the truth, obviously. You're too young to go."
Everyone agrees with Jeff and even I have to. Just from what I saw in his bedroom, he's obsessed with space but my teammate's right. He's probably too young to have been in space.
We're all wondering why the hell he decided to waste his turn when Danny suddenly looks up, grinning at all of us. "Actually, I have been. I'm the one and only kid born in space." He glances around the group, laughing at the looks on our faces. "No, I'm not shitting you. Google it if you want to."
I'm pretty sure none of them move faster than me but my phone's not in my pocket. Fuck. I must have left it in my bag. Star notices that I'm looking around for my phone and she leans in closer to let me see her screen. The search results that pop up all read something along the lines of, 'Daniel James Fenton – first baby born in space'. A few other headlines read his name followed with, 'Alien or Human?'. Holy fuck. He was actually born in space?
My gaze meets his and he gives a shrug, a small smile on his face. "My mom was pregnant… and she wasn't supposed to be aboard the shuttle." He exhales softly, his gaze falling again. "But she snuck on at the last minute. It… caused a lot of complications during the travel… The trip was cut early after I was born."
It's silent around the circle, the only noise from the crackling fire. None of us are sure where to go from here and to me, the evening feels colder suddenly. I didn't even know it was possible to give birth in space. But apparently, Danny's a miracle. I got that just from a couple headlines about him. God, I can't imagine how he feels. He's gotta be so fucking lonely. The only human ever born in space? That'd sure as hell make me feel like some kind of outsider.
Danny lifts his head and it's like the conversation never happened. A grin stretches across his face and I'm pretty sure he's perfected the art of pretending.
"Looks like we all have to take shots!"
During the next hour of playing, night falls and by then we've all learned a little more about each other than we wanted to know. Jeff tries to bullshit that he's never gotten so drunk that he can't remember his own name. But Star brings up our first end-of-season party in freshman year and even he can't deny how shitfaced he was that time.
Roxane's apparently part of the mile-high club as is another cheerleader – Kallie Newman. Neither of them will tell us who helped them join the club and I'm pretty sure Kallie's is a guy from the football team.
Turns out, Blake was lying when he said he'd never been overseas. He and his sister apparently took a trip to Africa in his freshman year. My teammate, Mitchell has actually taken food out of the garbage and eaten it. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's grossed out by that fact.
It's my turn again and I'm laughing so fucking hard at one of my teammates' friends and his story about jumping off a roof, that my sides are aching. Why the fuck did he think it was a good idea to jump at the height? And how the hell did he not break every bone in his leg?
"Come on, Baxter, give us a good one!" Blake yells at me from across the circle. I'm a little tipsy already but I manage to flip him the bird, coming down from my laughter high. I'm still sporting a wicked grin as I try to think of something I haven't done.
"A-Alright, never…" I take a breath, a small laugh escaping me. "Never have I ever gotten stitches."
Danny's the first one to tip his cup and his cheeks flush again when he catches me looking at him. He ducks his head and scratches at the back of his head. I really hope his parents aren't the reason he's had to get stitches. Dad's hands are only part of the reason why I've had to get stitches before but fuck. I really hope the bruises Danny's sporting are as bad as it's ever been.
Blake takes a sip of his drink and I know that's from when he picked a fight with a guy in a bar. The place was seedy as fuck and we'd both seen the guy swipe Blake's wallet. I told him we could call the police but Blake insisted he handle it himself. Didn't realize the jackass had a knife on him.
When Jeff takes a sip of his drink, Star glances at him, raising an eyebrow in question. His face turns red almost immediately and he lets out an embarrassed laugh. "I uhh… I was playing with my little sister when I was like twelve or something. She threw a toy truck at my face."
Jeff leans forward to give Star a look at the scar that runs through his eyebrow. I remember seeing it before but I never asked him what it was from. I guess I kinda assumed he was born with it.
When everyone votes whether or not I'm telling the truth, I get on my knees and yank my shirt up, showing off the scar running up my pelvic bone. I was swimming with Kwan when we were fourteen and I went a little fast during one of our races. I didn't even feel the pain until Kwan started screaming about the blood in the water. That was the only time I've ever heard my best friend drop the f bomb.
Danny's looking at me when I let the hem of my shirt drop and I'm not cold anymore. My whole body feels too warm and I grab the bottle of vodka from Star before anyone else can. I throw back my shot before passing the bottle. I don't know why but the look on Danny's face is keeping me rooted in place. And shit, I need to jump in the ocean, I'm so fucking warm.
The play moves to Star and the sound of her voice finally pulls my attention from Danny.
"Okay, never have I ever been too sunburnt to wear a shirt," Star says, her gaze flicking between me and Roxane. We've both regaled our friends with the time we were too drunk to remember sunscreen and ended up passed out on the sand for half the day. God, that was when mom was still living with me and dad. She gave me a long talk about sun safety and the chances of getting skin cancer before she finally insisted on applying some cold-ass cream on my skin that hurt more than the burn itself.
I drain the last of the alcohol in my cup and press it down into the sand before I get up. Several heads turn my way and I purposefully don't look toward Danny.
"M'gonna take a piss," I say, walking around the circle to get back to the house. Star left the door unlocked and the dining room light is the only one on. I don't bother to turn anything else on and spend most of my time inside the house tripping over everything left on the floor.
Once I flush the toilet, I splash cold water on my face and take a few even breaths to relax. I can't stop picturing the fucking bruises on Danny's chest and I want to tell him that I saw them last night. I want to tell him that I get it. More than anyone else, I get it. And I just want to help him. No one should ever be alone with that shit. But if I bring it up, then I'll have to explain that I get it so fucking much because I've got the same shit to deal with. I can't talk about my dad here. Not in front of everyone else. My only choice is to force a grin onto my face and pretend that I'm not using the alcohol passed around to numb the way I feel. Thankfully, I've gotten really amazing at bullshitting.
I return to my friends after only a couple minutes inside the house but by then, most of the group is broken up. Half the girls are in the water with my teammates and a handful of guys, while the only people remaining by the fire are Roxane, Star, and Danny. I sink down next to Danny with an exhale, my gaze lingering on the fire. It glows almost purple against the night sky and I try to let it keep my focus rather than Danny. But fuck, it's like the universe is plotting against me.
Danny leans closer to me, his voice hushed as he speaks. "Are you as cold as I am?" he whispers, giving me a small smile when I glance toward him. I consider telling him to move closer to the fire but I don't want him to leave my side. I'm not cold. Especially not with the gentle smile on his face and the memory that just last night, we almost-
I exhale roughly, glancing away from him with a shrug. "It's a little cold out here." I keep my gaze on the fire cause I can't look at him. I can't think about last night. We were both so fucking drunk, we couldn't think. Jesus Christ, today would have been so weird if last night had ended differently. But it didn't, so I just need to stop thinking about it.
He falls silent and I won't let myself look at him again. I don't want to get caught up thinking about all the shit running through my head so I just don't. I can hear the sound of my friends' laughter and the sound of the water splashing from the ocean. I close my eyes to the sound, trying to let it distract me for a little while longer. But Danny's breath hits me as he leans closer once more and the hitch in his voice makes my chest ache.
"I-I moved to Amity Park in the fourth grade. C-Cause reporters were chasing after me and my parents. They all wanted to know about the boy born in space." He exhales slowly, sounding like he's getting ready to start bawling. Fuck, I can't hear him cry again. "I-In the third grade, kids wouldn't talk to me. They all called me 'the alien.' Th-They wanted to know when I was going back to my spaceship a-and I couldn't really deal with it all. I switched schools twice but it happened everywhere. It finally stopped when I came here." Danny sniffles and the sound is deafening in the midst of the laughter from my friends. "I-I thought it'd be worse because it was a small town but no one here has ever heard of me."
I have no fucking idea what to say to him basically giving me a rundown of his shitty childhood. He's dealt with that shit on top of his parents? Jesus, I'd just quit at this point. I think I'd lock myself in my house and never leave. I'm surprised he's even here right now.
"Why'd you bring it up tonight?" I ask, finally opening my eyes and looking toward him. There are tears brimming in his eyes and fuck, it actually causes me physical pain. He's been through so much shit and I've been feeling sorry for myself cause, what? My dad didn't come to my game last night? Why the fuck should I care about that shit?
Danny smiles and it just looks wrong with the tears still in his eyes. "Because I'm tired of hiding out," he says softly, exhaling like he's relieved to finally have it off his chest. "This is my last year in this town and I'm not going to spend it pretending to be someone I'm not." His smile widens and a tiny laugh leaves him. "This year, Amity Park gets to see who I really am. No more secrets."
Fuck, I wish I had that kind of courage. If I was myself and let my secrets go, pretty sure the town would only get a glimpse at the fact that I'm a massive fuck-up. I don't know how to keep myself from asking him if the bruises spreading across his body are one of his secrets, so I just give him a soft smile in response.
I lean forward to look at Star. She's got her gaze on the fire too but next to her is the cooler. She glances my way when I lean out and I point to the cooler.
"Will you toss me a beer?" I don't care how many of these it takes to get me drunk, I'm forgetting this weekend ever happened right now. Cause if I don't, I'll start asking Danny questions and telling him I understand about his fucked-up home life and I won't stop. I'll keep running my mouth and trying to help him until I'm out of oxygen.
A/N: Yooo readers! How's your week been? Thanks for coming back to this fic!
Ahhh, sorry this is being posted late in the day. Life gets in the way, y'know? (or in this case, someone adorable was distracting me.)
So, it's been a week since I started NaNo and I gotta say... it's not going as expected. I'm behind by about 3k words. But I'm planning on doing some writing after this is posted so hopefully I manage to put down a few thousand words. Fingers crossed!
What do you guys think of this update? There's a bit more plot in this one versus last week's, though overall, it's still slowly progressing. One thing's for sure, the boys are interacting more, huh?
This chapter's title comes from another song by Troye Sivan. This one's called "Fools" and it's so fucking great? I put it on the Stay playlist because it fits the fic pretty well - in my opinion anyway. (Which btw, the playlist should still come up on 8tracks if you search "Stay".)
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please let me know what you think of this update, your thoughts really are motivating. For now, I'm gonna log off, enjoy a nice cup of coffee, and get some writing done! See ya next week!
