I sleep through biology but Ms. Anderson doesn't give me a hard time when she wakes me up after everyone's left. She asks me if I'm okay and I don't really give her an answer. I just move from her class to economics, where I spending the first few minutes staring blankly out the window until movement disrupts me.
Kwan sits down beside me and his eyebrows immediately raise when he gets a look at my face. "You look exhausted," he says, dropping his backpack onto the floor. He leans back in his chair, surveying my face for as long as I let him before I turn my gaze away again.
Our teacher enters the room before Kwan can ask me anything else and I'm kind of glad. I don't think I have it in me to explain that I look exhausted cause I didn't sleep. And that I didn't sleep cause dad wasn't home and the loneliness set in.
I hate being alone but more than that, I hate feeling alone. I can be by myself for hours and never have a problem. I can spend countless amount of days working in the shop and have no one talk to me all shift and I'm fine. But there are times when being alone is suffocating. And I feel like everyone else is falling asleep easy or laughing with their friends. It's times like that where I'm lonely not because I have no one but because in those moments, I only have me and I really fucking hate me.
By the time we're set free for lunch, I'm barely talking anymore. Kwan walks with me to the cafeteria and though we're surrounded by our teammates who are all talking and laughing, I can't bring myself to join in the conversation. It's not that I'm too exhausted to talk, it's just that I can't. No words are coming to me and I'm not interested in thinking of anything to add anyway.
Kwan and I are the first ones to the table and I guess Jeff and Blake are used to my shit cause they keep to themselves and Kwan, never trying to engage me in conversation. Star joins us before any of the other cheerleaders are even in the cafeteria, and she sinks down on the bench next to me with a smile. Paulina will probably make her move as soon as she shows up.
When Dale joins the table, he starts telling us a story about racing his car against some Elmerton douchebags. Normally, I'd be interested and listening to his every word cause cars are literally my fucking life, but I'm distracted by Danny. Cause he's in the cafeteria and I don't think I've ever seen him in here before. Or if I have, I've never noticed.
Jeff notices my sudden interest and his gaze quickly finds where mine is. He grins and before I can stop him, he starts waving and calling out to Danny. "Yo, Fenton! We saved you a seat, come here!" He waves his hands and Danny's face slowly colors.
He stares in our direction for a few seconds, probably deciding what the hell he's gonna do, but in the end, he leaves the cafeteria, ditching his untouched food in the trash. He practically sprints out of the room and I guess my sigh is audible cause everyone at the table turns to look at me, their eyebrows raised expectantly.
"Dude, what gives? He totally saw us," Jeff says, batting me on the shoulder with the back of his hand. I know I must look like I need someone to hold my fucking hand cause Kwan's hand nudges my knee beneath the table, in a show of some kind of support.
I blow out a breath, dropping my gaze to my food with a shrug. "Danny's not really… talking to me right now." We don't really know each other and we're barely friends at this point but I wish I hadn't fucked up the situation so badly. I really liked getting to know him.
"Well, Paulina will be glad to hear that," Star says, nudging me in the side with her elbow. "I heard you two made up." She holds my gaze when I look her way but we don't get to stare at each other for long. Cause Jeff finally realizes what she said.
He practically vaults over Blake to slap me on the back, somehow making room between Kwan and I to sit next to me. "Dude, that's fucking great!" he says with a grin. I can't help but feel like he's way more excited about it than I am. Maybe if my mind wasn't still on Danny, I'd feel the same enthusiasm that Jeff does.
"Yeah, man," I respond, dragging my fingers through my hair. I guess Jeff can tell that I'm not ready to dive into how I feel about this situation cause he shuts up about it. He immediately starts talking about what we're doing this weekend and it's only when Kwan joins the conversation that I start listening to them again.
Kwan's nodding, glancing between Star and Jeff before his gaze meets mine. "Right, Dash?"
I have no fucking clue what the conversation's about but judging from the smile on Kwan's face, I'm guessing it's something good. "Uh… yeah?" I glance between the others at the table before raising an eyebrow. "I blanked. What'd I miss?"
My best friend laughs softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the movement. "I mentioned playing flag football this weekend. Like you said yesterday," he says, glancing at my teammates before focusing on me with a hesitant smile. "You're still up for that, right?"
I don't know if that's his way of asking if dad beat the shit out of me within the few hours I was away from him yesterday but I'm fine. Dad didn't come home last night and I've tried to pretend that it doesn't bother me nearly as much as it actually does.
"Yeah, man, I'm good," I respond just as the cheerleaders enter the cafeteria. They move in a pack but they break up when they get to our table. Star instantly switches seats and Paulina slides in next to me, curling an arm around my bicep. I find myself leaning into the touch rather than pulling away from her and I guess she takes that as a good sign. She kisses my temple and exhales softly, a smile on her face when I look at her.
Maybe shit's fucked right now and maybe it will be for a while but our splintered boats found each other's again and this time, I don't want to see us drift apart again. We can do it this time. Not like last time, and not like some shitty romance movie. We can do better. And we will.
Danny's a no-show in English class and I know I'm not the only one concerned as Lancer marks him down as absent, a frown creasing his features. Jeff leans over to ask me what the hell happened between us and I don't respond. Lancer notices us and makes some passive-aggressive comment about being here to learn instead of socialize. Even if Lancer hadn't interrupted us, I don't think I would have come up with anything to tell my teammate.
I'm probably the first one out the door when the bell rings and it's not cause I was in the front row again. I'm debating on whether it's morally acceptable to skip practice and just tell Coach my leg's bothering me, when I'm suddenly tackled from behind.
"Daaash!" Valerie sings out, her arms wrapped around my shoulders as she hugs me from behind. Oh right. I forgot she's actually here on Tuesdays. Still here to take the dreaded Algebra. Only she's in advanced and I'm just a bonehead.
"Hey, Val," I respond, turning back to give her a grin. It takes me a few seconds to understand why the hell her expression changes so fast but then I remember that my face looks like I got into a fist-fight with Wolverine.
Valerie's eyes are wide as she rights herself, one hand reaching out to touch my face. "Dash, oh my god, are you okay?" Her worried expression searches mine and I can't hold her gaze for long. She exhales softly when I drop my stare down to the floor and as people leave classrooms, she pulls me by the arm into an empty one, closing the door behind us.
"What happened?" she whispers, darting a concerned stare toward the window on the door.
Isn't it obvious? I push out a breath and let my backpack hit the floor. "Nothing… y'know how it is," I say with a shrug. There's really nothing else to say. She already knows it's my dad and there's nothing I can do to hide the marks so there's no use denying it.
"Dash, have you…." Valerie trails off and I think I know what she's trying to ask before she's even said it. She's nervous and I don't need her wringing hands to tell me that much. "Have you thought anymore about talking to someone?"
Yeah. I figured it was something like that.
I shake my head, folding my arms over my chest. "No." She starts to argue so I keep going. "Valerie, I already told you, I'm not talking to anyone." I can barely tell my friends what the hell goes on behind closed doors. Why does she think I'll be able to tell a bunch of strangers? Besides, there's no point now. It'll all be over in a year.
Valerie blows out a breath, her gaze flicking around the room like somewhere inside a chemistry classroom, all the secrets to my problems will be revealed. Too bad real life doesn't actually work like that. I could use a magical cure-all right now. Just something so I don't have to go home or hate myself anymore.
"I just think-"
She's interrupted by the static-filled feedback coming through the school's intercom, the sound making both of us wince. She brings a hand up to rub at her temple but I turn my gaze to the speaker, listening to the quiet crackling still filtering through.
"Dash Baxter, please report to the principal's office. Dash Baxter, to the principal's office."
The static abruptly stops and I meet Valerie's curious stare with my own. What the fuck do they want me at the office for? I haven't done anything.
"Guess that's my cue," I say. I can feel her watching me as I stoop over to grab my bag, situating the straps before I meet her gaze as I force a smile onto my face. "Catch you later, Val."
"Dash, wait." She crosses over to me, giving me a sympathetic smile and I hate that I can tell. I hate that she feels the need to inject some kind of pity into a goddamn smile. I'm fine. I don't need her to try and make me feel better about the shitty situation with my dad.
She tilts her head to one side, more of a genuine smile coming out with the movement. "Dad and I could use someone to play cards with tonight."
She's just trying to get me over to her place so she doesn't have to worry about me while I'm home. But it doesn't matter. Dad's not gonna be there and even if he is, I know how to handle my own shit. I've been doing it for seventeen years. I would hope that by now, I'm pretty damn good at it.
"Thanks, Val. But I've got a lot of homework to do," I respond, giving her a smile. Though mine aren't pitying, they're definitely forced most of the time. I guess I can't really be angry at her for sympathetic smiles considering mine are either forced or fake. Unless someone catches me on a good day or I'm drunk.
Valerie's expression softens but doesn't fall completely. She just nods, hesitating a few seconds before leaning forward to give me a hug.
I let her fit me against her body, dropping my head to rest my chin on her shoulder. She rubs at my back like she thinks that I need some kind of support. If I wasn't so goddamn tired, I probably would. But nothing really matters when I'm this exhausted.
"Next week, for sure," she insists, smiling warmly when she pulls away. I can't really do anything but give her a smile in response. And regret the day I ever told her about my dad. Valerie has enough of her own shit to deal with. She really shouldn't have to worry about me and mine. But if I've learned one thing throughout this whole mess with my dad, it's that I make selfish look like a fucking form of art.
The secretary gestures for me to go inside the office and after I tap my knuckles on the door, the principal calls out for me to come in. The knob sticks a little but I manage to get it open without too much of a hassle.
As I step inside the office, Principal Ishiyama looks up from her computer screen. I don't understand the expression on her face but I have a feeling that it's supposed to be a sympathetic one. Why the hell would she be looking at me like that? Shit, did Valerie tell our principal about my dad? Or did Kwan? Why the hell would-
"Have a seat," Ishiyama tells me, gesturing to the chair across from her desk. I don't know why but something about that action feels final.
I cross the room and drop my backpack to the floor before sinking down in the chair. I haven't done anything stupid or reckless in a long time. I'm wracking my brains trying to come up with the reason why I'm called in here today and I'm guessing that humor will go a long way to keep my ass out of trouble.
"If my teammates told you anything, my red cups were filled with soda this weekend." I grin and though she smiles, I'm guessing hers is a little more forced than she's trying to make it look. I look away from her, focusing on the desk instead. I don't know what I'm called in here for but I have a feeling I'm in some kind of trouble.
Despite being in and out of trouble throughout the first half of my high school life, I never really had to deal with any kind of consequences. I've known our principal since I was like twelve – she was always one of my mom's best friends. Which is probably why I feel so weird sitting here now.
Ishiyama leans forward, setting her clasped hands on the top of her desk with a sigh. Her hands are just at the edge of my vision and I can see her fingers fidgeting and twitching as the silence stretches on in the office. Shit, what the hell did I do wrong?
"Dash… your mother called."
I'm pretty sure my neck almost snaps at the speed I look up. Holy fuck, what? Did I hear her right? My heartbeat is pounding in my ears, I must be misunderstanding what she just said. I try to get my mouth to work, to form some kind of response, but nothing comes out.
After a few silent seconds, Ishiyama draws in a breath, standing up from behind the desk. "She asked to speak to you and I told her I would call you into the office." She moves closer to me and hesitates before leaning against the desk as she folds her arms over her chest. "If you want me to, I can tell her you've already left."
Why would she tell her that? I'm sitting right here. God, I can't believe mom's called. I can't believe she's actually on the other line, waiting for me. I want to pick up the phone and talk for hours but something keeps my hands in my lap. Prevents me from reaching across the desk and picking the phone up just to talk to mom.
Ishiyama hesitates next to me for a second before she leans over to pat me on the shoulder. "I don't blame you if you don't want to talk to her, Dash. She… never should have left you," she says softly, squeezing my shoulder to be supportive I guess. "She's on line one if you decide to talk."
She crosses through her office and when the door shuts behind her, I stare down at the phone. My palms are sweaty and I let out a shaky breath as I lean forward. After two false starts, I manage to pick the phone up. It's heavy in my hand and I slowly bring it up to my face, drawing in a breath before I push the button with a one printed on it.
"H-Hello?" I stammer out. I'm trying to ignore the fact that my hands are fucking shaking but it's pretty hard to pretend. I can't believe mom called. I can't believe she's on the phone with me. She's actually on the other end and-
Mom exhales softly and I can hear it rattle across the line. I commit the sound to memory, replaying it over and over in my head in case that's the only noise she makes before she hangs up. After all this time, she's actually on the phone with me and she could change her mind any second.
"Hey baby," she says softly and I fucking hate myself for the way tears gather in my eyes. "How are you?"
How am I? She calls after nearly nine months of silence and wants to know how I am? How the hell does she expect me to be? I don't even know how I am anymore. Right now, I'm terrified that this is all some kind of dream that I'm about to wake up from.
"I-I'm okay," I choke out, releasing a pent-up breath. I can't think straight and I look around the office, my mind running a thousand miles a minute. I somehow find my voice long enough to ask her the same. "H-How have you been?"
Mom sighs and I can't tell if it's because of the question. "I'm doing as well as I can." Static crackles over the phone before she speaks again. "I miss you, baby."
Fuck. She can't say things like that. She can't tell me she misses me and make me feel like I'm breaking all over again. It was so fucking hard to pick myself up after she left, I don't think I have the strength to do it again.
"I need to tell you something." She exhales again and this one sounds more exhausted. Like every word takes more of her energy with it. "Did you get my letter?"
Her voice is a hell of a lot stronger than my own and the weak 'yeah' I respond with sounds splintered and broken. I sure as hell feel like I'm breaking and splintering all over my fucking principal's office.
"There's a lot that I need to explain but… not over the phone. I want to meet with you soon, okay? I don't know when but I'll come find you. Is that okay?" she asks, her voice soft on the question. Like she's wondering if my answer could be anything other than yes.
She wants to see me? The breath sticks in my throat and I can't respond. The words form in my brain but my tongue refuses to speak them. 'Okay, sure,' should be easy to say but not for me. I can't speak and I guess my silence goes on too long for her.
"Dash?"
I let out a breath, jerking the hand that isn't clenched around the phone through my hair. "Y-Yeah, okay…" I don't know how the hell I'm gonna handle seeing her again after it's been so long but I guess I'll have to figure out a way to.
There are so many things I want to say to her before this conversation ends but my tongue won't cooperate. I want to ask her why she left without me and if there's anything I could do to come with her now but I don't. And we talk about surface shit for the last few minutes we're on the phone together. I try so fucking hard to be angry at her but I can't be. If I had the chance to get as far away from this town as I could, I'd take it. I can't blame mom for not being too scared to try.
I don't think I really know where I'm going until my car stops at the lookout Danny showed me. It's the only place I could think of that's outside of Amity Park but maybe the distance is what I need right now. I don't know when I'll be seeing mom again, all she said was soon. I have until whenever that is to get my shit together long enough for her to not want to immediately leave.
The high school's parking lot is pretty much empty as I stare down at it but a few stragglers are still leaving the building. My phone rings half a dozen times and I get several texts while I'm sitting in my car, watching the storm clouds rolling overhead. I don't check any of the notifications. I'm still too lost in my own thoughts, drowning without anything to grab onto.
My mind's running a thousand miles a second and yet, at the same time, it's standing completely still. Like I'm thinking about too much shit all at once so my brain's just shutting down.
It finally starts to rain and I guess the noise and movement of the drops hitting my windshield is enough to drag even me from my thoughts. I pull away from the abandoned lookout and head back to Amity Park, straight for the only place that can help me now. Alex's garage.
Stephen's working the afternoon to evening shift along with Keith and they both give me a curious look when I punch my time card in. I'd say my face doesn't hurt as bad as it looks but I don't actually want to talk. That'd involve responding to whatever they say and not getting lost in my own thoughts again and I'm not into that right now. I'd rather just sulk on my own and fix some busted-up cars since I can't do the same to my heart.
Keith moves next to my bay, despite not being finished with the Toyota Highlander he was working on when I came in. He plops down on the stool the next bay over, whistling as he cleans the grease off his tools. I'm pretty sure he's only moved next to me with the assumption that he can get me to talk. But if words are oxygen, I'm fucking suffocating and no one can rescue me.
My coworkers settle into a casual discussion and though they try to engage me several times, I don't take the bait. My head is still too full of everything mom said. Everything she didn't say. So many questions crowd up my brain and I know the moment I see her, I'm gonna want to ask her all of them. I don't even know if she'll have the answers to half of them but I'll probably ask anyway.
I can feel my phone vibrating again and I dig it out of my pocket only to silence it. There's several missed call alerts from Kwan, a handful of unread text messages from both Valerie and Paulina, as well as several notifications from Facebook. I don't have the energy to look at any of it right now so I just pocket my phone again, moving back to switching out the battery on a beat-up Taurus. The thing looks like it's held together by hope and duct tape and I fucking relate. I've never seen myself reflected in anything as well as this shitty, broken car.
"Kwan's really worried about you," Keith abruptly says, pulling my attention from the car. I must give him a semi-interested expression because he continues. "He's been texting me non-stop since I left school. You weren't at practice and you're not answering your phone so I'm sure he's assuming the worst."
If 'the worst' is getting a call from your mother and ending up so lost in your own fucking mind that you can't even think anymore, he's not wrong. Hell, if Kwan's hit the nail on the head, I'm not even sure how I'll respond. He's usually able to guess what's bothering me but I doubt even he could see this curveball coming.
The rain is still pouring down outside, the smell drifting through the open garage as I lean my forearms against the car. I don't really know what to say to Keith. I'm used to Kwan being a little overprotective and worried but Keith probably isn't. They're teammates, not best friends. Typically only I witness the paranoid, frantic caller that Kwan becomes when I haven't responded in a little while. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that my best friend has branched out into calling and texting other people multiple times when I don't respond to him.
"You should give him a call, Dash," Keith says softly. "I told him you were here but he's probably still worried."
It really should be that easy. But I'm a selfish prick and I can't just do what's expected of me. I always have to make things more difficult or ask someone else to take care of my shit for me. Which is exactly what I can use Keith for.
"Can you text him for me?" I ask, my voice a little scratchy. I don't think I've said a word since I left Casper High and I guess my vocal cords aren't used to the extended break.
Keith's silent for a few seconds before he pulls his phone from his pocket. "Sure." He opens up the text and I slam the hood closed on the car. The new battery's installed and I could easily just go home now. Sit in silence for a few hours or hell, maybe I'd do my homework.
"Just… tell him I'm okay, please?" I ask, looking toward my teammate. Keith's eyes take in the bruises on my face but he doesn't say anything as he drops his gaze to his phone with a nod. I probably owe him and Kwan an explanation for the way I've been acting and ignoring everyone's calls but there's nothing to say.
Keith pockets his phone again and he and Stephen share a look before I speak. I'm afraid if I don't, they'll start telling me how I can talk to them or how they'd understand or whatever bullshit they're thinking. "Listen, I'm gonna take off early. If Alex comes around, will you tell him I'll make up my hours next week?" I'm definitely gonna need the garage whenever mom shows up.
Stephen nods before Keith can say anything, leaning against the car he's working on. "Sure, no problem." He hesitates a couple of seconds before he asks. I knew one of them was going to. "Is something going on?"
I haven't even told Kwan about the letter mom sent. I can't tell Keith and Stephen either. The only person I can talk to right now that already knows would be Valerie. But I don't want her worrying or trying to talk me out of seeing mom. I don't even know when the hell she's gonna show up but I know one thing. What she wrote in her letter doesn't matter, I still have to see my mom.
"No," I say, moving away from the car as thunder rolls overhead. My footsteps are the only noise in the shop as I move to punch my time card again, giving a half-hearted wave as I turn to exit the garage. Other than the truth, there's nothing to tell my coworkers that'll explain the way I've been acting. And I'm not giving anyone the truth.
By the time I pull into my driveway, the rain is pouring down and I'm soaked before I've even made it to the porch. The door sticks again and though I slam my body against it twice, it still catches both times. Only on the third time, it decides to open and when it finally does, I'm able to get inside my house, hanging onto the doorknob to stay upright.
The tile of the foyer is slick underneath my shoes and I try my best not to slip. It takes actual effort to stay upright but somehow, I manage to lock the door behind me and kick my shoes off without falling over.
I flip the switch for the living room light but the damn bulb must've blown. Great. Just my fucking luck today. I don't even know if dad kept the ladder he borrowed from Paulina's dad a couple months ago but goddammit, I don't think I can reach the living room light without it.
There's no telling if we even have any light bulbs so whatever. I'll fix it tomorrow or the next day or hell – maybe not at all. It's not like dad's around to care if a stupid light doesn't work anymore.
My mind is still on mom and everything I want to ask her the next time we talk and none of the questions I'm coming up with are gonna be easy. Fuck, I don't even know if I'll be able to ask half of the shit I'm thinking.
It's late already. No point in doing anything but sleeping. If my stomach wasn't bitching for food, I'd just collapse on my bed and forget this day ever happened. It's just been bullshit from the start. And maybe it's cause I didn't sleep last night but I'm so fucking drained.
The freezer light doesn't come on when I open the door and there's a sinking feeling in my gut before I even touch the inside of the freezer. Fuck. It's barely cold. Did everything just decide to fucking break tonight? When the kitchen light won't turn on either, it's pretty obvious. I'd have to be some kind of moron to not figure it out by now. Dad didn't pay the fucking power bill.
Goddammit, this is just like him. He's pulled this kind of shit before, taken off without paying any of the bills – leaving mom and I to clean up the mess. He always insisted on handling the finances so he could pull crap like this. When mom was here, she always took care of it. But I don't know how to do any of this shit or even where to pay this shit and goddammit, is this my fucking life now? Picking up my broken pieces and cleaning up whatever mess dad leaves in his wake?
I don't know if it's cause I'm really that fucking tired or if it's the phone call with mom, but I can't hold it together anymore. Ugly sobs claw their way out of me and I sink down on the floor, my back against the fridge. It's probably too late to go anywhere and figure out where the hell I'm supposed to pay this shit at. I'm stuck here in the dark for the night and there's nothing I can do.
Alex or Kwan would probably let me stay with them for the night but I don't want anyone's pity anymore. I can't handle it tonight. I should be able to just sleep when I lay down and I sure as hell shouldn't be pathetically sobbing on my kitchen floor. All cause a fucking power bill wasn't paid on time.
It's past midnight by the time I force myself up the stairs and though I trip over everything on my floor, I make it to my bed in one piece. I'm mostly dry from the rain earlier but I still strip off my clothes and crawl under my sheets in only my boxers.
The house feels colder without the lights and I don't know if sleep or sadness takes me first.
A/N:
Yooooooooo!
I haven't updated this story since last year! …too soon to make that joke? ;p you know you still love iiiiitttt. Honestly though, I feel a little out of sorts, I guess? It's only been two weeks though, isn't it too soon to have lost the rhythm of this?
So hi, hey. How's it going? Were your holidays good? Have you started the dreaded school back? Good luck with that, thank god I'm already out of there
No Danny yet but with an ending like last chapter's, did you guys really expect him to return so soon? Naaah, there's still some angst to be had there. But in the meantime, how about that angst with his dad, huh? Preeeeetty shitty situation I've put him in, eh?
(please don't hate me)
The title of this chapter comes from Bring Me The Horizon's "Drown". The full lyric is, "The weight of the world's getting harder to hold up." Like, is that not Dash?
"Drown" fits Dash and this fic pretty well, actually. If you haven't heard it, you should check it out, it's good stuff. Also that reminds me, would you guys want me to make a playlist including all the songs mentioned in this fic on Spotify or 8tracks or something? I don't know that much about Spotify to be honest but if that's something you guys wanna see, I can figure it out.
Okay, so, speaking of music. I heard a song the other day that I'm just so in love with. It doesn't fit Stay at all so unfortunately, I won't be using it for a chapter title but it's still an amazing song. Like 40 million people have already jumped on the band-wagon of this so I won't be surprised if you've heard of it but still. If you haven't, go hear Ed Sheeran's "Castle On The Hill". It's fucking amazing, okay? It just… gives me such a nostalgic feeling and reminds me of why I love music. Why I write lyrics. Why it's such a huge part of my life.
I can't put into words or describe how much I love this song and it's okay if you listen to it and don't like it. Opinions and preferences and all that. Just saying, from my standpoint, it's amazing. (Side note: doing an art piece off it and I can't wait to hang it up on my wall)
Anyway, back to the reason you guys are even here, the fic. Or perhaps more importantly, the angst. Trust me, there's plenty of it to come.
Whaaaaat'd you guys think of this ending? Do you hate Howard Baxter? What about his mom? Gimme your thoughts in general, they keep me young. (I'm like Spectra only with angst)
So, that's chapter 32. I hope you guys enjoyed it and are looking forward to the next one. It's a fairly angsty one so, keep your eyes open for that. Thank you for continuing to support this story and leave feedback, I really do appreciate all of you.
Until next time, enjoy the angst!
