Only, he picked the wrong door.
Allen didn't know if it was because he wasn't paying attention, but he'd actually gone past the room he stayed in and instead went to the one aligned with it just further down the hall. At first, he didn't notice since the room looked so much like hi-the one he was currently staying in. However, more than a brief look made apparent small changes in the room's layout that differed from the other.
I must be feeling really off, Allen thought to himself. Can't even choose the right door in such a small house. He shook his head at himself.
Just as he was turning around to leave, Allen's curiously roaming eye settled on...something leaned up against the wall in the corner. He didn't tell his body to stop, so much as it just...did.
What was that? It looked like...a cauldron? A pot? What?
It was heavy-looking and dark black and huge. It was definitely large enough for him to stand in it. There was a large paddle of some kind sticking out of it, too. It was a strange sight that Allen puzzled over for a few minutes, staring at and trying to comprehend it. Was it used for cooking or something else? Was it normal for people to have things like that in their bedroom? All Allen knew was his life with Lavi and Kanda and he at least knew they were much better off than the average person. Certainly more than an elderly lady who lives alone. He shouldn't be judging her living space like this, he decided.
He stubbornly turned on his heel and strode back out into the hallway, closing the door carefully behind him. Miracle of miracles, he didn't choose the wrong door this time as he found his way to hi-the room he was currently staying in. He huffed as he sat down on the bed, feeling aimless.
He was so used to doing things with his days, he didn't always get to do something exciting but he was always doing something from the moment he woke up to shortly before he went to sleep. He was used to spending a good amount of time eating instead of the short meal he had that morning.
He went to the library to comb over the endless supply of books, knowing that no matter how much time he spent reading, he would never run out of material and Lavi could always get more as time passed. He spent so much of his days with Kanda, meditating or walking or chatting or just sharing space. Each day felt like an event, looking back on it and Allen only felt that way now that he knew what nothing felt like.
Life at the mansion had felt slow, like time itself worked differently, and perhaps that was because things didn't change very quickly around there, even the weather. But even if Allen had felt lonely and out of place there sometimes, it was very different from the kind of alone he felt today and it made him look back even more on what he had left behind.
He was feeling very out of place and he was starting to worry that he would feel that way everywhere he went. After all...with how he had come into being, he probably didn't belong in this world at all. It would only make sense if he didn't feel comfortable anywhere. Maybe that was just his lot in life at this juncture and he would soon be forced to accept that. He'd admit, he was afraid of the moment that happened, because what would he do then?
He could still go back.
Well, he probably could, anyway. No telling how angry Kanda was, but he could always offer a groveling apology and hope the demon wasn't violently angry. He almost hoped that they were angry, because if they were worried and it was his fault...he was afraid to go back. Not afraid of Kanda, no, but afraid of facing them again.
Maybe he was just being a coward, but he didn't think he could stand to face them yet. He wasn't even sure if he was mad anymore, but...now that he'd started running, he wasn't sure if he could stop.
"Have you figured out what you want to do with yourself?" The old lady asked that night at dinner. The day had gone quite slowly for Allen with him seemingly having nothing to do and feeling impossibly uncomfortable walking around outside his room.
The only thing he could consistently content himself with doing that day was wondering what that cauldron was doing in her bedroom. There seemed to be nothing in it and it was so large. Surely such an old woman could not pick up and carry something like that herself? He'd never come to a probable answer, but it had made the slow day pass a little less slowly to puzzle over it.
Their dinner was more soup and even though Allen was grateful for the food, he found himself missing Lavi's meals already. Especially because...he could see and feel how much thought and effort was going into the meals he ate, but here and now he could tell that the old woman didn't care about him at all.
Sure, she let him into her home, but she wasn't thinking about what he would like or dislike or how he was feeling as she made it. Allen felt a little spoiled as he thought it and concerned himself with shoving the food into his mouth to drown out the thoughts. That was until she asked him that.
Allen looked up in surprise at her question before looking down at his bowl of soup in shame. He had no idea what he was or where he was going to go next or even what he wanted to do with himself. He knew he couldn't stay here with this lady for much longer...and honestly, he didn't think he wanted to.
There was something so cold about this place and it was so peculiar. The mansion had been cold physically, but he had come to know it as a place where he could feel warm despite that. This place was just the opposite. The air here was warm to his skin without the dampness or the strangely dark weather of the home he had left and yet he had strangely never felt so isolated and chilled. His body was warm, but his soul was less so.
He didn't know what was wrong with him to feel this way, he couldn't even pretend to understand it.
The old woman, for her part, avoided him for the entire day up until this point. Allen barely left his room, but she hadn't appeared any of the times he did. He didn't know where she was or what she was doing, but maybe she had been in her room. At any rate, this was the first time he had seen her since breakfast that day, and just like during breakfast and dinner the night before, it was very quiet.
She mostly ignored him and when she did say something, the statements were short and decisive. He couldn't tell if she outright didn't want him here or if this was just how she was with anybody. She did live alone, so it could go either way and Allen had only really known two people in his whole life up until this point. One of them was incredibly friendly and seemed to always be happy to talk even while they were working, while the other was aggressive and distrusting, but still willing to argue with a complete stranger at length
He didn't really need to read a book about it to know that that didn't give him a well-rounded view of the kinds of personalities Allen turned his mind away from them quickly, it hurt to think about them when he was here.
"I don't know," Allen admitted, unsurely. "Try to find…" His voice cut off then. He couldn't say what he wanted to say. He couldn't say that he wanted to find where he came from, even if he thought that might be what he wanted. He couldn't say he was looking for his home either, because it didn't feel like that was what he was heading towards.
"You don't know." The elderly woman stated more than asked, still milling about the kitchen and not really looking at him as she spoke. Allen shook his head in the answer without thinking about the fact that she wasn't looking at him, but she continued right after he did as if she had seen it. "You can stay here for another night." She stated sharply.
Allen flinched back a little at the suddenness of it.
The old lady took no notice and continued. "However, you need to do something for me in return for it."
"Something in return?" Allen asked, confused. He had no problem doing some work for her, but he didn't really know what skills he had or if he could actually do something for her that would be worth his stay here. Maybe he should just leave…
"In a little bit, I am going to head out. I will be gone for a few hours only and when I return, I want something done for me." The woman continued on. Now, she turned her gaze to him and gestured towards the floor in the corner of the kitchen. Allen had to sit up a little and crane his neck to see what she was pointing at.
It was a pile of dirt. How did he not notice that was there when he came in?
"Mixed in with that pile of dirt over there are some seeds. I want you to separate them. When I come back from my trip, I expect to have a pile of dirt and a pile of seeds. Not one bit of either mixed, got it?" She ordered.
Allen could only stare at the pile and then drag his gaze back to the old woman. She couldn't be serious, could she? No one could do that! Never mind that the seeds looked black and practically invisible in the dark clump of dirt!
The old lady took his lack of reply as an agreement and nodded her head before she quickly moved to leave the room, saying she needed to get ready to go out. This jolted him.
"Oh! Wait!" He stumbled as he jumped up from his chair. "What happens if I can't do that before you get back?" He asked, worriedly.
The woman stopped as he spoke and stayed still for several seconds after he did. Then very calmly and without making any attempt to turn around and look at him, she spoke. "If you can't do the task to completion by the time I get back, you will still stay here." Then without giving him the chance to ask at all about that, she left the room.
He was left alone.
Allen sat back down in his chair, staring at where the woman had left. He felt unsettled all of a sudden, even though he couldn't say what in particular made him feel that way. It was a strange demand, to be sure, but with so little life experience, what right did he have to say what was normal? Still, he couldn't get rid of the crawling feeling of discomfort that had been dogging him all that day and had now grown much stronger. He couldn't help but wonder about it all, even though no answer made itself apparent.
What is going on here?
