(in which advance wars: dual strike)

Woah! Holy shit! After a moment, I was no longer hugging Hana— but…!

"Huh!? Brad!? Where'd you go!?" My head began lookin' around in a panic! An' then I myself made it look at Meiling…

Meiling blinked numbly! "...Huh?"

"Yo!" I said it through Hana's voice! "Holy shit! Hana, I'm inside you!"

"What!?" Hana replied to me! "Oh! What…!? How!?"

"Good question! Woah…!"

"I didn't know what was going on! But…"

Immediately, Hana's right hand drifted down one a' her thighs, and I realized:

Holy shit she is horny. It's insane. My mind is immediately slammed by a wall of sexual frustration the likes I've never seen before. Immediately my mind paints a visual of just, taking Hana inside onto one of the couches and just—

"Oh my god Hana why are you perpetually horny…!?" Her voice was squeaking when I finished the sentence!

An' then it dropped down to normal for her reply to me, and it was weirdly cute! "But I don't have horns!"

"That's not what I meant!" I channeled that cute energy into my counter-argument! "You're turned on! In heat!"

"Turned on? But— that doesn't make any sense, I'm not a lightswitch!"

Oh my fucking god. "Y'know what— just don't worry about it…"

Hana's lovely legs curled around my back, me pinning her down under the covers, her wings spread and twitching, her eyes uneven—

"Haaa~!" I yelled in sheer excitement, what the fuck! Pink heat billowed from my chest! "Why do you wanna have sex so badly!?"

"I don't knooow!" Aaaah!

Moving for the front door, I gave Meiling a wave! "Hey— bye Meiling! I'm gonna go have an identity crisis!"

"Uh…" Meiling scratched the bridge a' her nose! "Okay?"

Pushing the big doors open, a wave of relaxation and familiarity washes over me. Hana on her knees— don't even finish that thought! Don't let your kids watch it!

"It's time to push my 'resist intrusive thoughts' check skills to the limit!" I held both arms out!

She's becoming incredible! "Brad, let's go masturbate! If you can feel what I feel— we can feel good together!"

"No! It's No Nut November!"

"...It's not November!" I don't think she knows what a "nut" is!

"It's spiritually No Nut November," I decided, before we ran in a random direction!

We just kept running back and forth, so excited! Ho ho ho! Wait, now that I'm Hana…

"Hup!" I jumped up the stairs, using my wings to accent my hops! "Yup! Hoo!"

thump! At the top of the big stairs, I dropped onto my knees and elbows, doing a sexy pose, skidding to a halt on the carpeted floor.

There was a tall fairy before us, with pastel hair. She watched me wink up at her, lookin' absolutely goddamn devilish.

"Goodness." The big ara ara onee-san lookin' ass fairy gave us a haughty look! "You're making an awful racket."

Two more pastel-haired bombshells came out from around her, as if spawning from behind her. The blue-haired one asked, "Who is this, sister?"

The yellow-haired one answered, "It looks to be Hana, back from the grave yet again."

"Oh. You know, I'd always likened her to be your worse half."

"Half? She's hardly any of me. Lesser electric fairies are no better than dogs."

The enslaved kid commissar came out from around them. Oh, right! This was the party of chicks who dom'd him! "Uum…"

Standing up, I pointed at 'em. I could feel a twinge of indignation in the back of Hana's mind— and I was gonna make good on it!

Fwi- Click! Wielding Nikkou and Nari, changing into Hana's regular maid outfit, I strolled up to them. Immediately, I came up to the kid commissar, leaning towards him, which involved bending forward ninety degrees. "Heya, son." That was so cursed in Hana's voice.

"So— son?"

"Yeah." I forced Hana to wear the most downright sinister grin. "'Cause when I'm done with you, you'll be calling me mommy."

Immediately, the line was so cursed Hana herself recoiled! "Woah Brad— hey now…!"

"Hey, bitch." The fluffy-haired, yellow-haired thunder fairy came up to us! "How about you fuck off?"

"Yes, Hana. This boy is ours." The blue-haired fairy lady looked at us like we were trash! "If you simply want us to teach you your place, you ought to just say so."

"Girls, girls…" The red-haired beauty held her arms out. "I have an easy solution. Hana… why don't you kiss our shoes?"

The fairy raised her bell-bottom dress, revealing shiny, pastel-red heels to go with her white-red dress. "One long lick, from the tip to our ankles, one for each leg. Then I'll forgive you."

Slowly, I made Hana hatch a huge smile, and then I spoke, "Kiss my ass." Her voice sounded so smug!

Thump. Reaching out, the red fairy pushed me in the boob, forcing me back a step. An' then she took a posture, holding up both arms like she was gonna freakin' box my ears off.

WHISH! Diving down, I slipped between her legs and got behind her! Ooh— Hana's so fast! The adrenaline hit me after I'd moved. S'really incredible!

When the fairy twisted towards me, I leapt into the air using Hana's wings. As she properly faced us— I'd leapt so high I was able to just kneel down onto her shoulders.

"Hi! I'm Hana!" With that announcement, I thrust Hana's waist into her face.

Before she could react meaningfully, I had Hana snap into a forward roll. Her body's so much more weightless than mine.

Woosh- THUD! The fairy was thrown clear over me, sailed towards the railing of the nearby stairs, and hit it with her upper spine before fallin' past it an' outta sight.

"Wha— hey!" The blue-haired fairy with a freakin' seashell style hairdo hustled up to me when I landed on my dress shoes. "You little rat! How dare—"

THUMP! Leaping forward, I just thrust-kicked her in the stomach. She fell back onto her ass. Dude— how's Hana hit so hard!?

When she tried to get back up, electricity licked between my limbs, and Hana for some reason forced us to pivot! "Brad—"

WHAM! Even while I faced away, I was able to kick Hana's left leg backwards, into the air. We clocked the blue fairy behind us with a roundhouse kick! Hana is so damn nimble!

FWISH! Electricity fizzled in the air behind us when I snapped from the attack. I basically teleported before the now-grounded fairy, interrupting the momentum that would otherwise force me to regain my balance. Holy shit. There's being nimble— and then there's bein' lightning!

Pink heat exploded from my chest, and I realized what to do. While she was on her back on the floor, I slid around her and knelt down.

SPLAAASH! She sprayed a ton of water at us! But— reaching down through it, I grabbed her by her lower jaw…

My heart pounded, my chest bounced, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I did a handstand on her head, using her jaw as support. Her eyes were wide in terror.

With an arc of pink and lightning, I brought Hana's knees down onto the fairy's head, gravity helping the blow function like a pendulum's swing.

CRUNCH. The impact crushed her head into the floor, all of Hana's weight pistoning down through her palms and knees..

PI- Fwoosh- woosh- woosh! The regal water fairy exploded into a whirlwind of power upon death, the Christmas trees around us shuddering from the gale.

As I stood up, I immediately twisted towards the electric fairy, Hana's cyan hair flailing before me.

She's coming at us with a flying kick! I instinctively flinched and raised my sun gauntlet Nikkou to parry it!

Shi— Krack! The metallic-magic impact was ear-piercing. "Get outta here!" It was so fun to yell in Hana's voice!

"What possesses you?" The electric fairy landed, recoiling from the force of her momentum being reversed. She was so offended! "Fine. Electromagnetic Sign— Charitable Cradle!"

KRACK- KRACK- KRACK- KRACK! Oh, what the hell kinda noise was that…!?

Oh. Oh. This freakin' copycat! Plant hangers snapped from nearby walls, gravitating around her, forming multiple halos of cast-iron. "Please observe!" Placing a hand onto her generous bust, she used her other hand to blow us a kiss. "Mwah."

WOOSH- WOOSH- WOOSH! The plant hangers all began to arc towards, fanning out and becoming a cloud of projectiles!

Fwi- Click! Dispelling Nari specifically— the magic resistance would do no good here, I held Nikkou forward like a shield, and took to the air. "Lemme fly!" Hana suddenly yelled out, and I let her take the controls, and holy shit.

We began zoomin. This… was really flying. Her heart was pumping so hard. It was so different from when I did anything.

Hana was so afraid of getting hit. She rolled through the air, did flips—

Bam! Thunk! Ow! We got hit in the head! "Nnh!" Hana whined from the impact, and we bobbed around in the air.

Krack! I intervened, raising a gauntlet-clad arm, imperfectly guarding an oncoming hanger.

Reaching into the air, I claimed the hanger we just just parried! Hana kept track of flying for me while I flailed her arms around!

CLACK! Tossing the hanger forward, charged with some vague amount of electricity, it clanked against one of the opposing hangers and formed a small storm on impact! Both metal chunks stuck to one another!

Krack! CLACK! Krack! With a mixture of flailin' both arms, I keep Hana safe as we close the distance…

Fwish! Drawing an electric rapier, the womanly fairy beamed at us as we came closer. "Hehehe! Surpri~se!"

Whish! When she thrust it at us, Hana forced us to get down on our knees to dodge it!

Thump! Thrusting us forward, Hana began to stand when we slid underneath the fairy. We grabbed onto the chick's legs and began to take her around town!

"That's it—" we declared, "We're goin' downtown."

woosh. We leapt from the second floor walkway entirely, pulling on the fairy's legs. We tugged her so her legs would curl, placing her upper body beneath us.

The fairy resisted our wrestling move bullshit and began trying to fly against us, so our weird aerial drop attack became non-euclidean and we did loops in the air…!

WHAM! We ended up pressing her up against the under-edge of the second floor's walkway. The part where it hung over the first floor! "Fhu— ah…!" We just did a wrestling move on the ceiling!

thud! She fell away when we let go a' her. Hana hovered back onto the second story proper, landing on her shoes before freakin' kid commissar like freakin' Superman.

"Hah…" We let out a breath. Kid commie here was hidden behind a freakin' end-table, keeping safe from uh, the plant hanger storm.

Beholding all these scattered cast-irons, Ha-chan had an idea. Man— it's really hard not to internally refer to her as "Ha-chan." It's like a reflex at this point. Hana's such a nice name, though…

Reaching down, Hana picked up one of the plant hangers. "There's so many…"

"You're…" Kid commissar was still in hiding, man. "You're not gonna take me, are you?"

"Huh? Nah. I was kidding." With an easy smile, I crouched down and began instinctively reclaiming all the plant hangers from the floor. "Actually, I will enlist you to help pick all these plant hangers up off the floor for me. Pretty please?"

He nodded twice! "Just that?"

"Just that."

"I can do that…"

Sitting on the floor, criss-cross applesauce, I held the bag open for him to deposit them.

"Who were they?" Ha-chan was motivated to ask herself, for some reason.

"Uh. My, um, caregivers… I guess. They're pretty nice, actually. They just get mean when meeting other fairies or new people."

Kid commissar himself was done up with two ribbons in his short hair, a little yellow maid dress and he still had those freakin' cardboard wings on.

Hana and me spoke at the same time, Hana winking an eye shut, in a weird like… moment of identity crossover, I guess? "Wanna have fun with a cool older chick?"

He looked over me, lookin' confused. "...Uuh. What do you mean?"

"Your friends look a little old for you." Spreading my legs, holding one in the air, I winked another eye shut. "I'm fertile, Brad." I didn't even realize how surreal this statement was until I thought about it!

I forced Hana's head to twist to the right, as if talking to Hana! "Excuse me, Hana?"

Hana forced her head to the left! "Excuse me!? Excuse you! That wasn't me!"

"Well— it wasn't me either!"

"Is being fertile— a good thing!?"

"Um… are you okay?" Kid commissar was worried!

"No, I have schizophrenia! I'm off my meds!" Taking a cross-legged stance again, I jerked the bag around! "Keep 'em comin', boy!"

When he was halfway done, my eyes caught one of the Christmas trees. Then, I looked at the cast-iron plant hangers, and how the shimmering lights reflected off of their black and sand-red metals…

Waving my left hand's fingers around, Hana and I worked together on an idea.

zap- zap- zap. Electricity crackled amongst the remaining hangers. Waving my left arm around, a devious smile hatching across Hana's features, when I pulled my arm—

Clack, clack! The hangers were jerked with the motion. Kid commissar jumped!

Clack! Clack! Clack! Waving my hand back and forth, I brushed all the plant hangers back and forth as well!

ZAP- ZAP! Hana's wings flared out like lightning bolts. Drifting into the air, I waved both arms around. Forming an aerial ecclesia of metal and lightning, the plant hangers began to form a halo around us. Hana's eyes glowed a malevolent pink as she stared ahead at the boy.

"Hehehehe…" So much energy all of a sudden, holy shit! I could feel my cheeks flood with color and life, adrenaline circulating through my veins…

With all of the plant hangers caught in Hana's focus, electrically bound to us, we simply pivoted into a hallway and took flight.

"Yeaah!"

PATATATATAT! We landed and broke into a sprint, Hana's limbs moving lightning-fast as we accelerated down a hallway hohoholy shit!

My mind thought of a rainy England day— a rainy mid-American day in New England— then the bright holy white of a mid-December's frosty, overcast morning. Hana seated on a cold grey wall with an urban backdrop, holding both legs up, showing off her ass—

We saw Komi ahead, with Koi and Namori.

FWRAR! Hana's wings roared to life, vibrant and pink. They stared ahead at me in horror, watching me explode down the hall.

KABOOM! When we reached Komi, we flipped ourselves upside-down with an ascending kick to her jaw, lightning striking the impact, blowing Komi limb-from-limb in a single frame.

Pi~chun! After she died, the conga line of plant hangers behind us were shot ahead, rapid-fire, one at a time, fed through Hana's electric wing thrusters.

PATAT- PING- BAM- PLATAT- PANG! The plant hangers sprayed around randomly, smashing furniture, embedding into walls, bouncin' around and destroying shit!

"Aaaa~!" Namori yelled, hiding on top of a couch, using the cushions as a shield!

Koi actually dodged shit, swirling around before us! "Woah woah woah woah…! Woah!"

We flipped back around, descended for her, and tackled her with our crotch, squishing her head with Hana's thighs. "Hi! I'm Hana!" Hana had such a wicked, self-indulgent smile, turning Koi's catchphrase back on her.

"Mmgh!" Koi struggled, trying to pry herself from Hana's thin thighs—

Thud! We landed on the floor, and inspired by an instinct which crossed my mind, Hana twisted her thighs—

CRUNCH. Oh my god we snapped Koi's neck.

Pi~chun! Wahaha! That was so unnecessarily violent!

vrr. The conga line of basic plant hangers began to conglomerate behind us again…

Chink- chunk, chank! Additional plant hangers were supplied, snapping from this ornate hallway's sides, joining us! Oh god, some of them even actually had plants. Most of 'em were used for trim decor, and a lot of them were of many different shapes and sizes.

"Not that we don't have the money to replace these…"

haah. Sakuya brushed our right shoulder with a hand, before drifting out before us. She briefly exhaled as she revealed herself— and it chilled Hana to the bone…!

"But, it's kind of a pain." Sakuya affirmed! "Can you not go ripping all the decor out of the walls?"

"You're so pretty, Sakuya…" Hana and I could hardly control ourselves! "Pretty like porcelain. Do you ever think about sex?"

Sakuya shrugged, unphased and unassuming. "Doesn't anyone?"

Holding up a hand, I caressed her cheek. "It's so strange to imagine. You're all about composure, but sex is about… being open."

Sakuya considered that. "I'm more open than most would believe. I don't mind looking like I have high standards, however."

Hana somehow came to a conclusion based off of this! "I see. Yeah… sex is about the contrast. The context. The pizazz. Then…"

I took both of Sakuya's hands, interlocking my fingers with hers. "Sakuya— wouldn't it be so interesting if we had sex?"

She looked bored. "No, not really."

Hana laughed! "Hehehehe~! Maybe you're right. I'm looking at this the wrong way."

Sakuya snorted, "I'm glad you realized."

"We just met. No, we need… a throughline. I gotta—" Immediately, I interjected on the thought process! "You just can't handle the Neutron style…!" Using my hands to part my hair back, I began to try and strut around Sakuya, despite floating!

Sakuya just adjusted to be in our face again. "Have you become a sex pest, Hana? Is this what you've learned from your journeys with Brad?"

"No! Yes! I mean— nyeso!" Ooh! "...That sounds cute. Nyeso!"

"Don't."

Oouh. "Well… anyways, um, not really. Like, uh…" Seems like she thinks I'm only Hana! "I'm sorry about the walls! And, I'm just… I've just been thinking. I love Brad so much, but at the same time, I'm not very smart. And I told him this, and I got him to understand… but, I don't know. I just wish there was an easy answer."

"Is it physical attraction, or actual love?"

"Well… both?" Hana guessed. "But… Brad doesn't love me the way he loves Genkan. He loves me in my own way… but I want what Genkan has. I hate to admit it. I know it's just not good to think that. I want to be more like Genkan…"

I chipped in, sidelining Hana's thought process. "And Genkan wants to be more like me." By "me" I meant Hana, not myself, 'cause I'm still speakin' as her! "She wants to let go of the parts of herself that hold her back. She wants to be free. Someone told her earlier that those inhibitions made her a bad girlfriend, and it hurt her. So I'm sure she looks up to me in a strange way… or maybe… maybe she's jealous of me too."

The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. "I'm always by Brad's side, without fail. No matter what. And I might not help him fight, and I can't always save him or be useful, but… I'm at least always there. And I think Genkan can't get over that sheer effort I put in, especially when I can't put in enough effort to be a little more like her. Maybe if I was, she never would've had a chance to begin with."

Sakuya's expression seemed to focus. "Those are some awfully heavy thoughts for a fairy."

"Well— I'm sick of being a fairy. What's all this freedom for if I can't get the one thing I really want?"

That made Sakuya smile. "That's…"

Smiling myself, pink heat burned from Hana's core. "You're better at this thing than me, chief. Please… if you have any advice, please tell me." Landing, I promptly bowed before her.

"How cruel." Sakuya landed, folding her arms. "To put all this weight on my shoulders. Still as careless as ever."

Weight? Oh, no, did I… did Brad feel a similar way? Woah— Hana's thought was so fierce that I thought it too! Holy shit!

"Sorry." Standing from my bow, I smiled at chief. "Um. No pressure?"

Sakuya snorted. "I'm only joking. Look… your party is quite unorthodox. It might be quite a sex pest thing to say, but perhaps you could suggest the three of you try and get along? Brad plays things surprisingly safe when it comes to women, so you may want to target Genkan and suggest sharing strategies. If Genkan is as vulnerable as you say, then if you leverage what you have that she doesn't… perhaps you can make a trade. Through that trade, you'll negotiate sharing. You must not keep any secrets, however. The terms of your relationships with him must be obvious to both… and, since you're coming second, you'll have to concede if Genkan is ever uncomfortable with you."

Chief's so smart too. I wish I could've come up with that. It's a lot like what Brad told me. Doesn't hurt to get a second opinion, I guess. "I see. Thanks, chief."

"Do be careful. Don't push too hard. Don't—" Sakuya sighed. "You know what? Just try your best. I can't do this for you, unfortunately, so you'll just have to… keep your eyes open, listen to them carefully, and do what you think is right."

That made me laugh. "Thank you, Sakuya. I'm sorry for always being such a handful…"

"That's not a very fairy-like thing to say. It's okay. Just don't tell your fellow fairies about this, okay?"

Hana blinked! "Oh? Why?"

"I have a reputation, you see. My authority partially banks on my ruthless discipline. I can't have them go thinking I'm too good of a person."

"Hehe…" Hana smiled at that. "Can do, chief!"

With that, Sakuya began to move, walking along. She gestured for me to follow, so I did. "So, where is Brad today?"

Uh oh. "Uum. He's getting a rutabaga." Yeah man.

"A rutabaga?"

"Yeah!"

"Are they going to cook with it?"

"No, he's gonna shove it up his ass."

Sakuya gave me an unimpressed look for my vocabulary. "...While that may be true, I think he's been a bad influence on you."

"Hehehe!" Ah… "Hey, Sakuya, do you have any sex tips?"

"No~." She whapped me in the head with a duster, all of a sudden! "No sex talk. I'm so sick of hearing the mansion's fairies talk up sex. Listen: only animals consider sex that important, and most fairies are hardly anything but."

Oh! I think Brad was trying to tell me about this! "Yeah— Brad said something like…" Not only did Hana start to forget it, but I forgot it myself, shit! "Something about only weird people, like sex pests, being into sex so much… because I asked him what casual sex was!"

"He gave you an actual answer? Hmm." Sakuya considered that. "Anyway, yes. Sex isn't really the point. It's just something extra on the side."

"But, if it's not necessary, then… why not have fun?"

"If your partner is okay with it, then… that could be fine. But, you must realize: it's very easy for people to embrace sex because it feels good. In doing so, they may forget or purposefully ignore real relationships. Therefore, it's considered a large red flag. This mansion's fairies are the same way. Many are quite captivated with the pleasure and the idea of finding a man, but few are the kind a real man would love. It's a desperate man's paradise, but a bother for actual people. That is why they don't leave the halls to hunt for lovers."

Wait… "So, was fairies learning about sex a thing the mansion did?"

"Mhm. Inadvertently. You see, fairies, as natural entities, have an inclination towards instinct. Though even in the wild, you'll rarely see fairies be so licentious. In the mansion, however, the liminal nature of the architecture is so distinctly unnatural that things do become somewhat distorted. Occasionally natural fairies are also simply perverts regardless, but it's rarely as intense as it is here."

I see. "...Do you think they'll ever learn?"

"Maybe if they had a Brad like you did. He's a rare kind of person. However… Gensokyo does tend to attract rare kinds of people. Who knows?"

Hmm. I guess I'm luckier than I thought. This world… is so strange.

Remilia appeared, strolling down the halls. She was power-walking, intent on doing something.

"Sakuya, I'm going out for a walk."

"So suddenly?"

"Yes."

When she blew past us, Sakuya twirled to face her. "May I ask why?"

Pausing, Remilia twirled to face us. "Well, first—"

WOASH. Space distorted around her—

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Thud! Oh, shit! I got ejected!

"Ooh!" Hana fell back onto her ass. "Uhf."

Sakuya's eyes widened when she noticed the both of us were here! Remilia chuckled, foldin' her arms! "There's no fooling me. I see you're making good use of nature's gift."

When I stop being Hana, the incredible sexual high of simply being her is gone in an instant, and it's almost physically painful. "Holy… crap."

"Secondly, I want to see the winter lights." Remilia twisted an' began walking off. "Nothing urgent."

"I… see." Slowly, Sakuya panned to the both of us! "Brad?"

"Ha— hi." I had a headache. Being Hana was so damn intense.

"What?"

I chuckled! "Whaddaya mean, what?"

"You know what I mean."

Oh. "Well…"

"Me and Brad united!" Hana exclaimed!

Sakuya's brows were raised! "...Sexually? Or…?"

"It may as well have been sexually, goddamn…" My mind was still reeling! "But, no. It was a really long hug. See—" I thought of a simple explanation. "Fairy powers."

"Ah. Your fairy wings, right." Sakuya noticed my spread-out, vector-like wings. They were a dull color, now that my energy was depleted… although s'kinda weird that they're still out and about if I'm so tired. "Then… you must have been here the whole time."

"Something like that!"

Sakuya wasn't even mad, she was just taken aback! "...That has some seriously dangerous potential."

"I know!" S'got me excited! But, holy crap, the brainshock. "God— Ha-chan, Hana baby, you're so fucking horny all the time. Goin' in and outta your head is so hard 'cause of it!"

Hana felt at her head! "I keep telling you, I don't have horns!"

Sakuya sighed. "He meant aroused. Physical sexual arousal."

"Oh. Oooh." Hana comprehended! "Um, yeah. Oops."

What! "Whaddaya mean, 'oops'!? Yeah man— box of thoughts-o's, oops: all sex."

Hana's mouth hung open! "I can't control myself!"

Sakuya parted her bangs, letting out a breath. "...How does it work?"

"It's a democracy," I decided! "But when Ha-chan feels particularly strong about being in control, it's like, mostly her. Other times it'd be me… or sometimes it was us both and we both got really confused 'cause the body does or says something neither of us thought we voted for!"

"I just, like…" Hana looked at her hands. "I just do whatever I want. And my body does whatever it wants! But whatever it wants isn't always what I would do!"

Sakuya had a half-smile! "That sounds like a scary amount of self-control to lose."

"It is!" I agreed!

"But…" Hana had such a huge smile. "It's so cool. It's so… free."

Hana stepped over to me, getting on her knees and looming over me. "Can we go back? Just for a little longer?"

Before I could do anything, she took me by the hands, fingers locking with mine, pressing her forehead to mine.

"I— I love you, Brad!"

Before I could even interject, she kissed me, and—

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: DUAL PERSPECTIVE: BRAD & HANA ====

I woke up hyperventilating, my body jolting with power…!

Sakuya was kneeling next to us! "Are you okay?"

Woosh! Doing a backflip up off the floor, I gracefully floated to land on my feet. "Uhp! Ten points, yeah!"

Promptly, I ran a circle around Sakuya! "Hey Sakuya— if you had a dog, what would you name it!?"

Suddenly, I ran into Sakuya headfirst! But— she stopped me with her hand, pushing me away. "Hana."

Ouch! "Okay, I walked into that one. Literally…! Hehah!"

"Good luck with your fairy problem. Both of you."

"Fairy problem?" I curled a brow. "Hairy problem!"

Uhp. Sakuya disamappeared! Oouh.

Hey, where's our buddies? C'mon, buddies!

zap- zap- zap. Using my electricity, I rallied the line of like, twenty-something regular plant hangers.

"Star Fox, returning to base!" As I moved, the plant hangers snapped into fan formation behind me. Taking flight, we hovered off the edge of… wait, where are we?

Sakuya had taken us to a carpeted, hallway-like catwalk overlooking some big marble room. Beneath us, there was a big Christmas tree, and a bunch of nice-looking beige leather couches.

Many fairies were congregated here, looking casual and personable. They didn't seem to take exception to my aerial presence.

"Wow…" The flashing lights and the twinkling star atop the tree awed me. "It's so pretty." It made me feel like I was in a fancy Christmas store, except without people trying to sell things to me. "We truly live in abundance."

Eying my plant hanger formation, I opened my bag and summoned them inside. I didn't need to go apeshit right now.

Landing before the other fairies, I decided to talk with my people. "Hana, did you have many friends?" I spoke low enough to not sound like a crazy person.

"Not really…!"

Guess we're just asocial schizoids, then! Hoh…

Picking a bench rather than a couch, despite all my energy, I sat down and just enjoyed the atmosphere.

Even though I was calm, pink heat gently burned from my chest regardless, brightening in response to the atmosphere. Hana seemed most at peace in times of hyper ADHD excitement, or moments of total calm. Kinda reminds me a' myself…!

Standing before the beautiful tree, in this wealthy-lookin' plaza, I flared my cyan hair out. "I feel like a fucking celebrity in this mansion." Kinda said that just 'cause I felt like saying it! "With a car, you can go anywhere you want!"

What was I doing? I came to the mansion to look for something, right? I think it was just to think. Well— I've thought enough! My brain's gonna pop out of my head!

Snapping into car seat posture in mid-air, I held an invisible steering wheel and pretended to drive away while I flew! "Vrooom! Vrooo~!" While I rode away, the wealthy-lookin' fairies around us just kinda stared at me with vexation!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

"Vroom. Vrrrr." I 'drove' across the Misty Lake, flicking on my imaginary turn-signal.

The Misty Lake at evening was really beautiful. It was so nice to just fly across it! Man— the fact Hana can just fly is incredible! Flying on your own is incredibly liberating, Jesus Christ.

I half-consider, in my mid-car ride logic, if I should have spoken with mistress Knowledge— I mean Patchouli. I kinda feel like I would have jumped her, or jumped Koakuma, and both scenarios are things I am really not ready for. Like, Brad might be able to fight Koakuma, and Koakuma can't even deal electric damage to me like this… but I think I'm not mentally prepared!

…What's a car? You know what— I fucking hate the idea of a car. Nevermind, can we go back to not knowing what cars are? Maybe Genkan's right about humans!

"The urban aesthetic is pretty." That's totally Brad.

"Nuh uh."

"But it is though!"

"Concrete's icky."

"It's broody an' moody! And the lights are such a nice contrast."

"But it smells like gas and concrete!"

Yeah, there's no winnin' this argument, fairies are natural things and urbanization is literally a middle finger to that.

"The lights would be pretty, I guess. But that doesn't make up for all the smelly and sad stuff." Yeah, that's a good compromise.

Where do we go? Home?

Wait, crap! I was— we were— gonna meet Maria back at her place! We totally forgot! I wonder if she's asleep already…

FWRAR! Jetting across the lake, water rippling beneath my feet, I roared off for the Human Village.

It was just empowering. Roaring like a jet, ripping through the night sky. Nothing mundane like a looter on the ground could hope to stop me. Whatever lived in the forest's shadows would fear my brightness and volume!

As we near the village, I slow, letting myself become less bright and loud. Let's uh, just hop the fence and not screw with anyone. We're pretty suspicious now!

When we reach one of the walls adjacent to the gate, I just… pretend to walk into it, before stepping onto it and just walking up the wall.

Instead of flying into the village, I stop on the top of the wall and look around. Huh. Never really been up on one a' these. It's kinda spooky.

So as to not attract attention, I just walk onto the inside of the wall and into the village. Holy shit, I just realized how bad this defense is. You know, it seems a lot more comforting when you can't fly so you don't realize how shitty the whole setup is. In reality, this wall is stopping nothing. The only reason it stops fairies is 'cause they're idiots. …No offense!

I tried sprinting normally, without being freaky with it! Oh, woah. Hana's not that much more endured than me, so I get winded almost as quickly…

zap- zap, zap. Augmenting my movement with electricity, however, moving ceases to wear me down.

As we move through the alleys, this big older dude gets in our way! "Woah, hey, hey. Youkai lady. Hey—"

"Hyah!" We leap into a dropkick as he gets in our way!

WHAM! Not only does our shoes connect with his face, but after we bowl him over, we accelerate through the air. We like, never have to stop dropkicking, so we just fly away! For added effect, I make us ascend into the air, rotating around, still mid-dropkick!

With disheveled awe, the guy watched us ascend into the night sky, before we descended back around where we needed to be.

CLACK! Connecting my feet with Maria's front door, I bounce off of it, doing a backflip, landing on my feet. "Ooh! Wow…" With both hands, I part my locks back behind my head. "Hehehe."

There's no answer!

Wham- bam- wham- bam- wham- bam! Walking into the door, I bang my fists and elbows against it and tackle it and kick it!

Creak. "What the hell do you—" Woah! Maria came out aggro! "Hana?"

"Woaah! Someone's moody." Finding a grateful smile, I let myself in. "What's up, Maria? You look out of it."

"...I'm pretty tired." Maria admitted. "It's been a long day."

Maria is so fucking cute. Closing the door behind me, I keep walking towards her, and—

"Ah…!?" I hugged her, pressing her into my chest. "Hana— hey."

My mind cycles: pinning Maria down, making her wiggle and writhe, Hana and Maria licking my—

Thump. "Maria…" Pushing Maria into the wall, keeping her there with an arm planted to the wall next to her face, I exhaled. "Wanna learn— how to eat a girl out?" Her eyes widened in shock, and my face spread in glee. "You'd look so damn cute between my legs."

bonk. Maria took out a tiny wood mallet and hit me with it! "No horny."

"Ah…" But… "Whaaat."

Slipping easily under my arm, Maria got away. "I'm studying, Hana. And—" her face was growing red from the suggestion, the perversion hitting her on a delay. "What's gotten into you? That's not how you talk. You don't even know what sex is."

I leered down at her. "I learned what sex is."

My eyes caught the counter behind her. "I— I wanna just plant you on that counter and fuck you. Oh god— that cute little ass of yours."

bonk! Ow! She hit me harder! "Heyyy…"

"Go back to being innocent please."

For some reason, being extremely forward with my desires hasn't been working out! "I'm sorry… it's just… all this power— I don't wanna hide it."

Maria sighed. "I'll tell you what. Whe— when I wanna go to bed tonight… um… if you wanna do things with me then, you're allowed to."

I'm sorry what I didn't actually expect her to relent! "Huh!?"

"...What do you mean, 'huh'?"

"I didn't expect you to be okay with it…!"

"What? Then— why even ask me!?"

"It just came into my head and…"

Maria's face was really red. "I— I think you're cute, Hana. And, if you really wanna like, do that with me, and not with Brad first… then— I guess so."

Oh! "If I wanted to fuck Brad, would you help?"

Maria had a vacant expression. "What the heck kinda question… I don't know? Probably not? Ask Genkan, not me."

"I mean— assuming Genkan was okay with it."

"...I guess I would. But— that has like, no chance of happening. Sorry."

No chance, huh. We'll see about that. I'm going to show Genkan my resolve. She's going to see— I want to love Brad just as much as she does. I'm gonna show her how to love Brad in ways she doesn't even know.

You know— isn't obsessin' over me this much kinda weird!? I'm not a patron saint or anything! I'm just— Brad.

"It…" I almost spoke aloud. I guess it is kinda weird— but I don't care! I just wanna love you! I wanna be loved back! I'm in love!

"Hana?" Maria spoke quietly. "I didn't hurt your feelings, did I?"

"Oh? No way. I was just… lost in thought. I'm gonna show Genkan how I feel. I'm tired of letting this go unsaid. Whether she accepts me or not— I want her to know my true feelings. I want something to happen."

Maria nodded. "...That's a good dream. Just— try not to be as forward as with me, okay? Part of why we found you cute was your innocence. If you're really transparent about just wanting sex, you're just gonna make us mad. 'Cause it's like, not about the sex. It's about… us. If that makes sense."

That lines up with what Brad and Sakuya said! Man— I keep hearing that, but it's really hard to keep it in mind when I see them and just wanna make love so bad.

"I got'cha. It's just… hard, when I'm this sexually frustrated." I held my head, running my hands through my hair. "I'm in physical pain Maria. My mind's just full of you and Brad and me and Genkan and—"

"And who would you be, if you were satisfied?"

Huh. "I dunno."

"Do you think you'd be empty?"

"...No. I'd wanna play Twister. Or Connect 4. Or maybe Brad knows some computer game we could play."

Maria had a half-smile. "You really think it's that easy?"

I nodded. "I know it is that easy. 'Cause sex is… pointless. But it's fun! And so is playing games! It's because of that— that I want it so badly. Because if it is pointless, it shouldn't be this hard to get it!"

"...I see."

Before I left for the door, I paused, facing her. "Hey. How's your mom?"

Maria looked surprised I asked. "...She's doing good. She has to stay at the hospital for a little while, but she's doing good."

"Cool. Wanna come with me to Brad and Genkan's?"

"Um, sure. Are they home now?"

Hehehe. "Yep. I know so." I always know where Brad is. I know where Brad is because I know where he isn't!

"Let me get some things. I'll probably be sleeping at their place…"

"Mmm."

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Ooh. So this is how the construction's been going! "The house was under construction? Wait— yeah, it's been under construction, duh!"

"Right. You guys were getting it… refurbished." Maria was in my arms. I'd been carrying her through the forest, because the terrain is fucked up and evil. Carrying someone always felt weird, but you quickly got used to it. "Brad and Genkan told me briefly at the hospital."

"Mmm…"

We landed before the structure. This seems like… more than I asked for!

The wood-steel structure stood a few stories high, almost as tall as Genkan's ice cave itself, which stood behind it. It took up most of the lawn that used to be out before the cave, the building's edges kissing the foliage.

"I asked for a house, not a skyrise apartment!" This is a bit much!

Maria snorted. "You asked?"

Oh, shit. "Um… hehe, yeah. Brad like, made a joke about apartments, and, yeah…"

"Guess he went with the apartment idea. I'm still surprised he checked with you first. …And I'm not surprised he didn't listen, I guess."

I rolled my eyes! "Hehe, yeah!" Whaddaya mean, you're not surprised I didn't listen!?

There's some cat dudes standing at the front of the structure. When we walked up, they got in our way and put their hands up.

Maria spoke immediately. "We know Brad and Genkan. It's me, Maria."

The bigger, brown-haired one nodded his head. "Dunno of any Marias. And you?"

"...Brad." I nodded confidently. "It's me, Brad."

"Ooh. Okay." Nodding acceptingly, he moved aside.

The other cat dude still got in our way! "This guy ain't a Brad you dipshit! He's a— she! Don't you know names!?"

The big brown-haired cat dude bristled! "I don't fuckin' know American names you cocksucker! I heard a Brad, and a Brad's who I'm listenin' for!"

"She's got blue hair and wings! That can't be Brad!"

Actually! "Um, hey. Do you guys know a Hana?"

They gave me numb looks. "No," the big guy said.

That's fucked up! "...But, we're some of Brad's closest friends."

The littler guy snorted. "Yeah? Well, if you were, he woulda said somethin'. So beat it."

"Who said only Brad and Genkan were allowed?" I was curious.

"Orders from our man Silver himself. So you better not go fuckin' around. Kitty's got claws. See— Silver struck us a deal. Those two got us the supplies, and we let 'em live in our base."

Oh? "...Your base? I don't remember Brad saying you all could live here."

"Well, whatever. Terms've changed. They get a top room floor, all's well ends well. And you— you can buzz off."

Something was wrong. "Lemme in."

"No."

"Lemme in!"

"No!"

"Lemme memme!"

"Fuck off."

"Um…" Maria pulled at my shoulder. "Maybe we should… like, go back and strategize or…"

Reaching forward, I put my hands on both cat guy's shoulders.

ZAP- ZAPZAPZAPZAP! Electricity surged through my arms, and they both began to wither and collapse from the power of my taser arms.

"Eghh— uu— fuck! Fuck!" The little guy was the first to drop onto his ass.

The big guy slid at me to tackle me. "Hrrah!"

Fwish! Going horizontal in the air, I slid a circle around his torso, ending up behind him, planting my heels on his spine.

THUD! Bouncing off of him, I pushed him into the floor, taking flight.

"Heyah!" Doing a forward flip, I landed on his head, heel-first on his scalp.

CRUNCH! His face was embedded deep into the muddy snow outside the front door.

Krk. I twisted my foot, a sickly crack coming from his neck. "Mrrmh!" He whined, yelling against the snow his face was buried in.

Maria was in mild awe. "...Ha— Hana?"

"I've had enough a' this shit." I gave Maria a dangerous leer, and beckoned her to follow. "C'mon. We're finding Brad and Genkan!"

I ran inside. There wasn't a front lobby at first, just a hallway with branching rooms. Eventually, we came to a eighties-looking booth; a desk built into the right wall with glass protecting the person behind it.

It was an older cat girl. "Why's our place got clerical operations!?" I gestured to the old cat lady! "...Also, hi grandma!"

"Oh, hi." The clerical lady was at least nice. "You two should sign in."

Sign in? "Oh okay. Uum, I'm Hana! And this is Maria!" I gestured to Maria, who looked really lost and intimidated by the architecture!

"Hana and Maria… okay." The clerical lady gave us a nod. "You're all signed in." I dunno what that means but alright!

"Yeah, let's go!" Moving for the stairwell, I gestured for Maria to follow! "C'mon, Maria."

"Oh— okay."

We made it to the first floor. Immediately, I ran into the midst of the dim hallway, spun and heel-kicked a door.

BAM! "Silver!" I yelled, barreling into the room!

There was a blue-haired cat boy on a bed in here! "Hu— huh?"

"Ooh. Sorry!" I smiled gratefully, slowly drifting out.

"No— wait! Ya kicked in my door! I just built that thing!" He ran for the door!

WHUMP. In a flash, I kicked him in the jewels. "Ee—" He leapt back so hard, his head hit the ceiling—

BAM! Oh my god, he got his head stuck in the ceiling. "Nngh! Nnn!"

…Backing out of the room, I gave Maria a sweet smile. "Um. Let's try the next one."

"Uuh… Ha— Hana—"

"Genkan!" Yelling out, I spun around and heel-kicked another door open!

BAM! When it swung open, I barreled inside!

whump- whump- whump- whump. The room was empty. Two fluffles were here, the leftmost one headbutting the other at light speed, the recipient stuck in a cringing state.

Then, they saw me, both returning to standing.

whumpumpumpump! The fluffle that was stuck in stunlock began headbutting the other one really fast, and that one got stuck in the stunlock instead.

"Oookay." Gently closing the door— hard to do since I busted its hinges— um, I let them be.

Maria tried to stop me. "Hana, I think—"

"Brad!" Spinning around, I kicked another door open!

WHAM! Barreling into this room, I— oh shit!

A huge cat man got me by my head, pulling me inside!

Thud! I rolled around on the floor, and—

WHAP! Cat guy D kicked me in the ribs.

WHAM! Cat guy C stomped on me.

THUNK! Cat guy B stabbed me.

"Aaa— aaa~!" Holy shit holy shit! Flying into the air, I swirled around the ceiling fan, looking down at them all—

SHUNK! Leaping up, cat guy B thrust his knife into me mid-air, forcing me to bounce against the wall.

The big guy got me by my wings as I blew past him, and I flared them to life.

FWRAR— ZAPZAPZAP! Despite my force, despite their power, despite his skin sizzling from the electrical energy, he endured, and—

BAM! Oww. He hit me head-first against the bedframe. "Aah…"

WOOSH! Picking me up entirely, he threw me into the bedboard at the bed's head.

WHAM! I hit it head-first. "Ahn…" Fuck…

"Hehaha! Nice!"

"Kicked that fuckin' fairy's ass."

"Forest's dumbasses oughta show respect."

"Open up that dress, let's see what's inside."

Oh, shit. "Aa—" This is bad! Um—

Maria stepped into the room while they crowded around the bed. "Thunderstorm!"

krrk. The air sizzled. Oh…

THWASHKABOOMBOOMTHWASHBOOM! The room flashed with seizure-inducing white lights for a full ten seconds.

"Huuaa—"

"Aaa—"

"Ghhaaaa—"

The inhuman roar of crying cat noises and manly wails was deafening. Lightbulbs exploded, glass shattered, and wood was left cindering.

FWOASH- FWOASH- FWOASH! As for me— I was healed to full! …Oh my god, my head's bleeding. I can bleed now? Huh.

…Oh my god. The scene of the charred, serrated and electrocuted kitty gangbangers was almost depressing. The room was trashed. You can hardly recognize their clothes, and their wailing is discoherent.

I made a sexy pose on the bed, holding one leg up so Maria could see up my skirt. "Aaw. I could've handled it, eventually. Just could've taken a while…"

"Uh huh." Maria doubted that. "They're probably on the top floor. We don't have to rampage the whole place. If— if I wasn't here to save you, they could've taken your first, you know."

"Aah…" I was kinda numb to the idea, but—

THUMP! The moment I passed the big guy, I stopped to stab the heel of my shoe into one of his now-glassy eyes. "It crossed my mind." I had enough stuff in my arsenal to escape, but I guess Maria wouldn't know that.

So, I guess I'm not as good at close-quarters crowd fights like this as Brad would be on his own. Maybe if I had more room to move… or more practice being quick in tight quarters. They kinda got the jump on me too.

Maria moved back to the stairwell, and I floated through the hallway after her.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

It started snowing when we reached the top floor. That, or we couldn't see the snow from within the Forest of Magic.

A universe of stars was cast by the illusory glitter created in the evening air by the Magic Forest's gaseous canopy.

"Huuh… huuh…" Zack was up here, puffing, kneeling, his glowy stupid sword stabbed into the floor. "You… you asshole…"

Shouji was laying on his back, frowning hard, his bow broken again. Stiffly, he jerked his head to behold Zack's confrontation…

Sarah was KO'd, with Fred kneeling down to support her, holding her by her shoulders.

"Your level ain't shit compared to mine." Silver leered down at Zack's party, grinning victoriously.

Zack heaved, barking back. "Whe— where do you get off!?"

Silver held his head high. "I could say the same about yourself. You know not where you tread. Your dreams die in cold shadow."

Zack tried to stand, but couldn't relying on leaning into his blade again. "Fuck…" He was bleeding heavily!

Silver walked closer. "Gensokyo does not belong to you. The outside has no place here, in our hallowed land. Has it taken this long to sink in?"

"You're a monster! All you do— is waste!"

"Waste?" Silver frowned. "The only wasteful one here is you. Dragging these people out here to die. Dragging yourself out here to die. All my people want, and all I want, is freedom. Freedom to love, learn and live. Someone as wasted as you could never even imagine."

Stepping from the stairwell, I marched up beside Zack.

Silver saw me, and snorted, smiling widely. "Speaking of wastes…"

Clack! I kicked Zack's sword out from underneath his arms! "Uhf…" He collapsed onto his face!

"Hehehe." Giggling the stupid exchange off, I saw Genkan.

Genkan stood next to the rail at the roof's edge, looking peaceful, but discontent.

"Genkaan!" Beaming, I ran straight towards her!

"Ha— Hana?" Genkan was surprised to see me! So I leapt straight into her! "Oof!" She caught me!

Immediately, I kissed her. The idea of her on our couch, waving her ass at me teasingly, her and Hana hugging me in bed, Genkan's hands on Hana's waist, helping as Hana rides—

She pushed me away. "Hana— what's gotten into you?"

I felt up one of her breasts, and my other hand traced down to her ass. "I love you, Genkan!"

"Huh…!?"

I kissed her, pushing her back against the rail, the pink aura from my core burning so bright. Genkan pushed me back again. "Get— off of me."

I wanna push her down and just fuck her silly. Fuck her until her moody stare is totally ravished. Wait…

Despite my blush, I stepped back and shook my head! "Um, sorry! But— I wanna talk with you about Brad!"

Genkan snorted. "I could say the same. Where is he? Weren't you watching him?"

"He's at the laundromat." I could literally say whatever bullshit I wanted and she'd have to believe me because it'd be in character.

"Wait…" Maria stepped up to us! "Brad's not here? I thought he was."

"He's at the laundromat!" I insisted! "Getting some milk!"

Genkan smiled strangely. "What's that even supposed to mean?"

"I thought you were taking us to him!" Maria was befuddled! "And why's Genkan here on her own?"

I had my own question! "Why's this a big apartment complex and not a family home!?"

Genkan sighed. "...I wasn't strong enough to do anything about this on my own."

Silver approached us. "I decided this would be a better deal. I'm sure Brad won't mind either. We use the materials to establish a new headquarters, and you all get your own floor at the top. I don't make much use of my hideouts or penthouses, so it can be all yours."

"But—" Genkan tried to interject!

"You and your boyfriend simply aren't powerful enough to live alone safely in this world." Silver affirmed! "So I'm doing this for the both of you."

"I was fine in my cave."

"But you want a house. A house on what you think is property that was yours, no less. It's hard to reconcile."

I chipped in, "You just wanted a place to appease your goons. And Genkan and Brad will have to live with them."

Silver shrugged. "So be it. They won't get in their way. That, and this way, they won't get fucked with either. There's four floors of bodies between them and the wild."

Genkan shook her head. "I… I do think he's right. I don't like it, but it's already built… and even if I think it's ugly… Brad would want us not to get over-anxious about it, probably."

Silver snorted. "If he doesn't?"

"I don't know."

Silver shrugged. "I'm sure I could convince him. As for these intruders," he gestured to Zack's party! "I'll find a quiet place for them."

Whatever, we'll deal with that next. Most importantly…

"Genkan," I took one of her hands. "I— I… I love you, okay?"

Genkan looked worried. "Where is this coming from?"

"I love Brad. I really, really love Brad." I braced myself. "...And I want to love him with you. I want to share Brad with you. I wanna have sex with Brad too."

Silver paused at the sheer audacity of my affirmation, twisting to look at us.

Genkan had such a vague look on her face.

"I know what sex is," I shut my eyes. "And I want my first to be… with him. Because I love him. I wanna make him feel good. But— only if you're okay with that… because I love you too. And, I wouldn't wanna get in his way. I don't want you to feel bad."

Genkan leaned forward, leveling her eyes with mine. "You don't want me to feel bad?"

"I don't."

"Then why do you give me this trial?"

Huh?

"You're an eyesore," Genkan declared.

Maria interjected. "Genkan— no. You'll hurt her feelings!"

Hana panicked— but I didn't. I helped her keep a cool face. Hana didn't know what to do— but I did, so I gave her my strength.

"...Perhaps that's a little harsh." Genkan admitted. "I've just wanted to say that for a long time. I'm sorry, Hana. I just don't know if I'm strong enough to watch you make love to my partner before me. Can you blame me?"

That's… a good point! Hana swallowed. "I—... you can join in…"

"Hah. That's such a stupid fantasy." Genkan shook her head. "That sounds like something Brad would dream up in bed while we were both teasing him."

An' that's a really bad point! I held my arms out! "That's literally a step removed from an orgy! I bet Brad won't even treat me that differently— and I wouldn't want him to, 'cause I love you too!"

Genkan's mouth hung open! "I mean… being together in bed is one thing. Sex… is another."

"What, are we gonna make a hubbub about holding hands next? I can't even get pregnant!"

"If he held hands with you before me? Yes, I would take exception."

"But what if we all held hands!?"

"But what if you stopped?" Genkan frowned at Hana. "That's enough."

I took a glance at Maria on the sidelines. Poor Maria. Hana opened her mouth to suggest we let Maria in on the fun— but I shut it right quick! Shit's delicate, Hana! Don't sabotage yourself!

Maria interjected by herself, sensing Hana's intent. "We already sleep in piles. I know it's not… a little thing. But… I don't think Hana would ever lay claim to your relationship."

Genkan scoffed. "I don't want to deal with the artifacts of her taking our time and attention. When I envision a future with myself and Brad, I hardly envision her."

"Just like you didn't envision a Christmas where we had fun," Maria contested her. "You envisioned… something. I don't even know what."

Genkan's breath hitched, and she glared back at us. "...This is not the same. This is not the same! I'm not letting you back me into a corner on this!"

"...I mean—" Maria clammed up. "Ge— Genkan—"

Silver interjected. "If you want my opinion, Brad is the one to blame here. Not any of you. If your romance is true, this would have never occurred. In my eyes, whatever is happening here must come to an end eventually."

Genkan furrowed her brows. "You don't know us."

Hana bristled on my behalf! "Hmmh."

Silver nodded. "That I don't. But what I do know is that romantic partners should be faithful."

"And what would a scheming cat scam artist know about faith?" Genkan challenged him! "At least Hana is honest about her greed. You disguise it."

Silver narrowed his eyes. "Doesn't everybody? This is a greedy world. You have the people who know better, who keep it close to themselves, and you have Hana, who can't control herself."

Genkan thought on that. Hana bristled again to contest that. "That's not true! I've been controlling myself! But… I wanted to open up! If I never told Genkan, if I kept wanting and wanting until wanting reached its end— I'd have to totally give up on my dream! Or I'd have to betray Genkan. I don't wanna do either of those things!"

Silver held his head high. "In the mortal world, fairy, that kind of behavior is considered lechery. It is an insult. Do you know why?"

"Mmh. Why?"

"Because one can only devote so much care and attention to another. One is a lonely number, but also free in its captivity. Two is the next best thing. Three? Four? Five? Ten? If freedom through the captivity of one another's embrace is not a cold justice, Hana, what is?"

"What are the limits of friendship!?" Hana yelled! "I don't wanna be Brad's wife! I wanna be him and Genkan's friend with benefits!"

Genkan frowned somberly. "I'm sorry, Hana. That's enough out of you." Her eyes began to glow a gentle blue.

Fwi- Click! Before anything could happen, I changed from my maid outfit into the generic kimono I'd given Hana, and the ice crown.

FWASH! Genkan tried to freeze me. It didn't work.

After seeing the flash, Genkan looked at my waist, seeing Brad's bag. "That's…"

"I took it from him," I had to assert this.

She glared. "You… you idiot! That's how he survives. Where is he?"

"He's at the mansion."

"Without his bag?" Genkan scoffed. "You claim to love him— and you took that from him, just to come here to tell me this?"

"I asked permission. He'll be fine. Chief's with him."

Silver nodded confidently. "How suspicious. Genkan… are you sure you can trust this fairy maid?"

"Brad will be happiest if we work together!" Hana yelled!

Genkan held her hands to her heart. "Maybe he doesn't need what makes him happy. He wants me to be happy— and if that means shutting you up, he'll listen."

Silver spoke up. "It's not about what makes him happy. It's about what makes you happy."

I heard footsteps on the snowy rooftop behind me.

whish. I slid aside, before Silver could stab me in the back with his cane. I'd just barely reacted fast enough, Hana's body just barely fast enough for it to only cut through my billowing sleeve.

His eyes glimmered silver like the white LED lights on a Christmas tree.

"Brad makes me happy." Hana was pumped, her own eyes glowing cyan! "This conversation's between me and Genkan. Butt out, kitty litter."

"Kitty litter…?" Silver grinned and began to walk into my way. "I think she's heard enough shit out of your mouth."

I looked at Maria. She looked stressed-out, but didn't want to say anything.

Genkan drifted up next to Silver. "I'm going to talk with Brad about this, Hana. You can't be making scenes like this."

"I'm not! I just wanted to talk!"

Silver cracked his neck, standing between us. "I'll help you. It's the least I could do. This is my property, after all. I can't let this fly."

I held an arm out. "This bullshit isn't what Brad would want! Genkan—... I remember the struggles, the things we've done! I remember that we're friends! I remember the lessons Brad's taught me— and I won't be turned away just 'cause you're mad and can't see!"

"You—"

"I am Hana— fairy staff of the Scarlet Devil Mansion, and I'll… I'll show you just how much I love you all! I've wanted to tell you for a very long time!"

Silver sneered. "Give it a rest."

Genkan took a posture, ready to dance. "I'll beat that optimism from you. Sink into the dreams of sleeping souls."

Maria stood back, as if refusing to help, looking incredibly conflicted.

This was going to be a fucking battle. Suddenly, Nikkou and Nari didn't feel so unfair to use anymore.

Fwi- Click! Summoning them, I threw a few lame practice punches! "Ohp, oh yeah, let's go!" I dropped and gave 'em twenty! "Doin' some pushups, doin' some pushups…!"

"You really think you can use those?" Genkan mocked me.

As I sprang back into standing, Silver's muscles rippled.

WOOSH. He slid up real fast, trying to skewer me with his cane's tip.

Shi— Krack! A galaxy of light erupted when I held up Nikkou, the gauntlet, and parried the brutal strike.

He went sliding back, kitty eyes wide with new adrenaline.

"I'll distract her." Genkan came at me, ready to dance. "Huu!"

Shi— Krack! I farmed a parry off of her first spinning maneuver.

"Hah!" She leapt at me, to knee me in the face.

Shi— Krack! It was really slow, so I was able to parry that too!

"Haah! Yeehaw!" Snapping into a handstand, Genkan spun towards me, her expression beaming violently.

Shi— Krack! Can I parry every attack!? As Genkan spin mid-handstand towards me, she tried to smash me with her feet and forelegs.

Shi— Kra- clank- clank- Krack- Krack- clank! I parried most of the strikes!

"What the hell…" Genkan was surprised, dropping to her hips, about to twist back into standing.

"Death comes from above!" Silver leapt over Genkan, and thrust his spear down!

Instead of parrying it, I took to the air and dodged him as he descended.

THOOM! He landed hard against the floor, eyes wide, embedding his cane in the rooftop. Genkan stumbled away from the massive impact.

Whapapapapap! Running up his back, I unleashed a fluttering kick against the back of his head!

Woosh! When he tried to grab me with a quick backward snatch, I flipped forward, and while I was upside-down, I shot lightning at him.

ZAP- ZAP! "Nngh." As I expected, unlike his goon counterparts, the lightning magic didn't do shit except for make him wiggle his nose.

Fwish! Summoning an ice shotgun, Genkan came at me, looking innocently violent. "Die."

KABOOM- Krack! Using Nari this time, I parried the oncoming chunks while righting myself in the air.

Shi- Krack! Silver gave up on using his cane, leapt at me, and tried to clobber me with a slow fist, but I parried that too!

"Fira!" Suddenly behind me, Maria betrayed me!

Woosh- Shi- Krack! Twirling, I used Nari to parry the fireball—

"Hrrgh!" Silver threw an uppercut, but I leapt into a handstand, standing atop his fist with my own palms at the apex of its ascent.

"Yeehaw!" I did a forward flip over Genkan—

KABOOM! KABOOM! She shot the shotgun into the air, unable to line-up her shots.

"That's it…" Silver reclaimed his cane, and wound it up. Orange heat began to burn from his body. "Girls! Keep her busy!"

"Waterra!" Maria began casting an absolutely massive water glob!

Genkan slid up to me, shotgun ready.

Krack! She tried to plow me point-blank, and I braced the shot with Nari—

WHAM! Ow! She punched me in the face outright! Just up an' socked me!

As the water globule roared for us, I slammed myself against Genkan.

KABOOM! She fired, but it went into the air past me 'cause we were in grapple range. Letting go, she began trying to grip my face to crush my head—

SPLAAASH! Maria struck us both with the water glob, which exploded into a miniature rainstorm on impact!

"Aaaa~!" Genkan yelled in surprise!

FWRAR! My electric wings flared wider— and I embraced Genkan tight.

ZAPZAPZA- SHKRICKKRACKRACK! The crackling of lightning roared— and I hugged Genkan so tight she spread all her limbs out.

thud! Tossing her frazzled form aside, I spun around, hyperventilating when I landed. "Holy—"

"Compassion has no place on the battlefield!" Silver whipped his huge cane around, coming for me like a hurricane. "Bleed! Power Strike Gamma!"

Nikkou shook on my arm with energy, and my eyes snapped wide when I stood, feet planted in the cold water at my feet.

SHI- THOOM.Sliding forward with my thrusting punch, I met him in the gut as he swing at me. His cane bounced off of me, Nikkou's blessing enabling me to power right through and deliver all of that stored force right back.

CRUNCH. Silver was launched into the air.

Nikkou and Nari flaring with power, I took into the air after him. "Haah—"

WHAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAPAP! Landing countless lightning-fast blows into his now-broken ribs, I propelled him even higher.

zip. Traveling the wind and lightning, I ended up behind him.

Fwi- Click! Summoning my Yin-Yang flail, I whipped it around, and—

THOOM! —planted it right into the base of his neck.

KABOOM- CRACK- THOOM! When he descended, he was thrown straight through the floor on impact.

Genkan sat up on the floor below, her hair all frizzled out. "Uugh..."

Descending past her and Maria, I—... oh!

Coming up to Zack as he struggled to stand, I kicked the sword out from under him again, and took it myself! "Thanks! I owe you!"

thud. Zack collapsed into a depressed heap again. "Uuhf. Fu— fuck… you…"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Fifth floor.

Splash, splash. Silver pushed his way to the surface, having landed in a penthouse hot tub. It seemed to be recently vacated of the cat dudes and cat girls who were using it.

I descended into the room with Zack's Infinimetete— whatever the fuck it was called. Zack's holy sword! Holy club, I mean! Drifting above the water's surface, I glared him down.

"Not bad…" Silver leered. "You're just a fuckin' fairy. Yet…"

"I'm a fairy with a whole lotta heart, mister!"

WOOSH. Silver threw his black cloak off, as well as the shirt beneath.

His body was covered in tattoos. On his back was a tattoo of a white tiger.

Hana's mind informed me— this was a tattoo of a raiju, a white tiger of lightning. Why'd she know that? Oh, it was in a picture book, I guess.

Twirling his cane around, Silver roared at me. "Your heart— shall be judged!"

Clack! I braced his first swing with Nari, the magic gauntlet—

Shi— Krack! Nikkou parried the second swing in his combo.

WHAP! A sudden sweeping combo-finisher struck me dead in my gut! He'd swung his cane wide and I just didn't see it coming.

SPLAASH! Ending up underneath the hot tub's surface, unable to breathe, I flailed my arms around—

thump! Reaching in, Silver got the back of my hair, keeping my head underwater.

FWRAR! My wings flared to life— and I began to try and make swimming-like motions!

They carried us a short distance, almost to the surface, but soon my wings began to fail, getting choked out by the water. Dammit, dammit—

Fwi- Click! Switching out Nikkou and Nari, I summoned the Bawmber and Red Scare.

KABOOM- BOOM- BOOM- BOOM! Using the Bawmber, I shot it against the floor! Either the floor will be mined through or I will push Silver outta the water! Either way—

krk. KRK. Looks like it's gonna be the former…!

KATHOOM! The floor gave away!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Floor four. The ceiling gave way into a service room mounted beneath the hot tub.

"Kuh— kaugh— aagh! Woohoo~!" I yelled into the absolute roar of noise as the ceiling gave way into a typhoon of water and ceramic! "We're goin' on the boob's cruise, son!"

WOOAAASH! In the roaring waterfall, I flipped backwards, while Silver still had a hold on my hair.

He looked to his left, seeing his hold on the ends of my locks, but not me.

WHAM! I slammed the Bawmber down into his head.

KABOOM! The explosion blew us apart.

Thud! Flopping around in the tide, he rotated onto his knees, skidding to a kneeling stop inside the service room.

Splash- splash! Spinning in the air, I came to a stop amidst the raining globules and ceramic, soaked to the bone.

We were trapped together in a totally sealed area, metal fences boxing us into a small arena, a locked door resting behind me.

zap- zap, ZAP! ZAPZAP! The electricity of various generators around us began to work into the flowing water which covered the whole of the floor beneath us.

Silver's body burned orange again. "Heh…" Sneering, he reached for a nearby pillar…

CHUNK. CHANK! He tore two metal pipes from the wall, steam erupting from the new tremendous gaps in the previous connection!

woosh, woosh, woosh. Swinging them around, he did a like ninety hit combo on the air…

Clank! He smacked 'em together so fuckin' loud! That sound was piercing! "The fool flaunting gallantry reaches none with his vanity…" I think the electricity was feeding him.

zap, zap. Landing in it too, allowing myself to be electrocuted, I felt my wings grow large again. "Hehehe. I'm gonna shit."

Silver snorted. "It would do you good to be afraid."

Aiming both dart guns at him, I unloaded!

Patatatatat- BOOM- BAM- KABOOM- BOOM- BLAM! …Oh. He does not care. Every blast which hit him seemingly did nothing.

"Hrrah!" Running at me, he brought both pipes overhead and leapt at me!

Swish! Sliding along the water beneath him, I rethought my attack.

Fwi- Click! Trading Red Scare out for Nikkou, I stood behind him.

BAAAM! He smacked the ground with the metal pipes so hard they left dents. In both the ground and the pipes! "Hrruuh!"

When I was behind him, I saw his tiger tattoo close-up. Before he could turn around, I slid right up to it…

Nikkou blared piercingly bright. I thrust Bawmber right into Silver's spine, basically up his ass.

KABOOM. On impact, we all yelled. "FREAKIN'—"

Whish- KABOOM! Hana's form flickered away, becoming my own.

Whish- KABOOM! My mind flashed— 'cause I briefly flickered into Nikkou's body as I ascended, each transition drawing out a new blow against his tiger tattoo.

Whish- KABOOM! Hana regained control, and the fourth impact was landed. "—IMPACT!"

BOOM! Silver was launched so hard he hit the ceiling, shattered it, rebounded—

KABOOM! He was smashed through the floor, holy crap!

"Woooo~!" Spinning around, I let the void below claim me!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Thud- thud! Silver landed on his ass, looking depressed. "Ho— ho ho… ow."

Second floor. We're in one of the rooms I hadn't kicked into during my initial infiltration. "Eeaaa~!" A cream-haired cat girl stood on her bed, naked, screaming at us! "Wha— whahat the hell is going on!?"

Abandoning his pipes, my attack having skipped an entire boss phase, Silver stood up to face me. "What possesses you, fairy? To fight so hard?"

I pounded my chest! "I wanna have sex with my cool girlfriend and play video games with her!"

Clackack! Oh. Zack's sword which I abandoned— it rode the electric water-ceramic-concrete mess, bouncing to the floor beside me.

"Hah…?" Silver was somewhat moved by how stupid my reason was! He stood back up, holding both arms out, flexing his abs. "Such selfish reasoning…"

As he channeled magic to his abs, he closed his eyes. "You will learn my Rules of Survival…"

BOONG. A loud-ass bell sound rang out for some goddamn reason— whahahaha! Is that the sound for his self-buff!?

"Son— ya need a better sound effect for that!" I know it's supposed to be like, a death knell bell, but it kinda sounds like the fuckin' Taco Bell "bong" sound.

He had no idea what I was talkin' about, of course. "Come unto me…"

Clack. The door to the room opened, various cat gangsters prowlin' in with weapons an' shit.

Oh, come on. "What happened to our manly duel?"

Silver jerked his head back. "Duel? I'm afraid you're mistaken. I'm a free man." While he flexed, a blue aura joining his orange one, he closed his eyes. "Let me regain my strength, and then we'll talk."

This isn't fair! Freakin', you know what!?

Holding up Zack's dumb sword like a staff, I thrust it into the air. "Light!" Closing my eyes, I summoned…

Fwish! From the aether, I summoned Sharaku, the small boy snow boy pimp— he has a fuckin' handgun!

"I'm mister snow miser!" Dancin' from the snowy aether, he spun around! "Whatever I touch… turns to snow—"

I grabbed 'em by the shoulders and shaked him around! "Hey Sharaku I need your help I turned into a woman and now I'm in a gang fight help me!" Technically incorrect, technically correct, and also the simplest way to put it!

"Huh!?"

One of them had a spiked bat, holy crap!

CLANG! Parrying it with my sword, I stopped it!

"Dude, boss—" one dude had a chain sickle, but not enough room to swing it! "How'm I s'post to swing this here!?"

Sharaku slid forward before me, into action!

WHAM! He uppercut the bat-wielding cat into the air!

Spinning around, Sharaku drew his handgun, aiming it at the sickle dude. "Oh! Heya, Silvey-wilvy!"

Silver blinked idly. "Sha— Sharaku?"

POW! POW! Sharaku put two in the chain-sickle cat's guts! "Whaa— aagh, damn, awwh! Fuck!" He fuckin' dove outta the room!

Thump! When the bat-wielding cat landed, lookin' dazed I ran at him and ran up his torso, stepping onto his face!

BAM! "Woohoohoo! Wah!" Leaping off a' him, I did a flip in the air, spreading both legs out—

WHAM- WHAM! Forming a triangle in mid-air with my body an' legs, I kicked two adjacent cat guys in the face as I descended. All three of 'em went down as I landed on my stomach!

Then, I came up to Silver while he was healing like an asshole, standing there with his muscles flexed…

Fwish! As I approached him, my pink wings flared brighter.

Holding Nikkou to his face, I used the stored-up energy in her to create a sun orb…

FWAAM! An' I just shot 'em point-blank in the face with it, hehah!

"Nngh!" The bright, burning magic hurt his eyes!

Fwi- Click! With both Nikkou and Nari, I leapt forward.

CRUNCH! I began gripping both sides of his head with my gauntlet-aided knuckles alone.

Fwi- Click! Equipping my gravity boots, I turned 'em on for extra power so I could leap backwards.

WOOSH! I pulled his whole body along, forcing him out of flexin' posture.

WHA— Krack! Silver's head was brought down on my knee when I snapped into kneeling.

"Hfuh…" The blow was so abrupt and electric that he snapped back into standing, his nose now a faucet as he staggered back. Ooh, that one hurt him.

"Woah…" As I stood, I sighed. "You've got a hard head."

click. He snapped his nose back into place. "Is… that so?"

POW! POW! There was another cat dude comin' at me, but Sharaku shot 'em to the ground! "I~ don't know what the hell is going on!" Sharaku's face was frozen with shock!

Silver had a hard stare. He seemed to recognize how capable I was at doin' stupid bullshit to him now.

THOOM- KABOOM! He stomped the floor— voluntarily breaking it through himself!

"Ooh!" I rode a chunk of carpeted floor, descending down to floor one.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

First floor. We ended up in a big common room with couches and a marble table.

Boing! I bounced off of one of the crimson couches!

KABOOM! "Hrrra~!" Silver landed on the marble table and bounced off it himself, coming in to grapple me directly.

I avoided most of the grab— but he got my collar with one hand.

"Hoooh!" Spinning around, he hurled me.

BOOM! "Aack!" Spit flew from my mouth when I met the wall. I'd been thrown like ten meters, holy crap…

THOOM! I dropped board-stiff on the floor, when he roared up like lightning to try and thrust his leg through me. He put his foreleg through the wall!

zap- zap! Crackling with electricity, body caked in water and sweat, I came up behind him…

Fwi- Click! Summoning Fallen Comrade, I clubbed him in the head with it!

WHAM. …Oh. Wow. That hardly did anything on its own.

CRACK! He broke from the wall, twisting to face me. He ran at me, trying to grab me, but I kept further away this time. "Ehehe…"

Taking a big-ass leather chair from nearby, he picked up the entire goddamn thing overhead, and threw it at me. "Haaa~!"

Shi— Krack! Parried that too! Woah— look at it fly! It returned to sender!

thump! The entire chair fuckin' booped him on his bloody nose, and the painful impact caused him to fling himself back into the wall! "Nnh— ugh…"

His nose had become a weak point. Knowing this, I flew right at him—

thump. He stopped my swing with Fallen Comrade before it met his head.

KABOOM! He threw the plant hanger away with such force that it broke open the door outta the room, holy shit.

Aah— crap! He got me by the leg! Woah—

THOOM! Aagh! He slammed me to the floor.

Standing over me, he took both of my legs, and began to sit on my back, curling them backwards— oh god— ow ow ow ow!

KRK! "Aagh!" Saliva drooled from my mouth, and I scraped at the carpet.

KRK! "Nnn- haah!" Fuck!

Silver got a kick outta this. "Your moans— are like sugar!"

KRK! "Aaah!" Holy shit…

woosh! Leaping off of me, he pulled on my legs to flip me back into standing.

WHAM! Like that, he was able to punch me across the face.

He loomed over me, as I laid in a broken heap at the base of a yet-to-be-used fireplace down here.

"My…" He huffed, smiling down at me. "You're a beautiful thing. Not like the forest's fairies."

I chuckled. "Nn— not… bad lookin' yourself."

Kneeling down, he felt at some of my limp features. "You're quite adorable when you're not being annoying."

He pulled on me, forcing me back into standing, but I could hardly stand. My wings flickered unevenly.

Fwi- Click! All of a sudden, I summoned something from my back. It was my old 3DS.

"Om!" Biting onto it, putting it between my teeth, I stole its battery life. Small sparks shot from the console as I ate its life.

Tossing it aside, I dug through my bag, and found the 3DS charger I got from Eientei long ago.

Shink! Stabbing myself with it, I let it feed electricity into my veins.

It was just a little, but a little was enough. Taking a deep breath, head light, I found the strength to support myself.

"What the hell…" Silver shrugged his arms out. "Hasn't this gone on long enough?"

"I could say the same thing!"

All of a sudden, he had the couch.

Shi— Krack! My mind reeled when I snapped to parry it with Nikkou. Man, if I didn't have Nikkou I'd be so fucked!

Shi— Krack! Enduring the second sweep of the couch, I saw him reel it up overhead…

Then, he canceled the slam he was going to attempt, abandoning the couch, snapping forward to grab me with both arms.

Swish! Landing on my ass on the wet carpeted floor, I skid underneath him.

Thump! He stomped on my kimono's edge.

BAM! The couch he abandoned landed in front of me!

Fwi- Click! I changed into my space suit to break free.

Weaving around the couch, I stood back up. Claiming Zack's dumb sword again, I ran for the door out of the room.

Plap! I also slapped myself on the ass! "Come an' get me!"

CRUNCH! Vaulting over a chair, breaking it into twenty pieces in the process, Silver fuckin' came at me!

click. I slowly closed the door in his face, an' got outta the way.

KABOOM! He shattered the door into pieces with his fists, and leapt out into the hall!

WHAM! Like it was a Tom and Jerry short, I smacked 'em across the face with Zack's big dumb holy sword as he came out!

sss. "Agh!" Oh, I hit his nose by accident! It also burned his skin. He staggered back into the room.

woosh. Using my fairy powers of flight, I ascended over the doorway and did the splits!

Silver stomped back out, looking left and right, ready for an attack this time.

WHAAM! Cleaving the sword down from above this time, I smacked it against his face again!

"Fuck! Rgh…" Wahaha!

Landing in the hallway, near the stairwell, I had an idea.

He bound into the hallway, this time shielding his face with his arms, keepin' it protected from all directions!

"Strike Raid!" Charging the sword with energy, I threw it at him!

He watched the sword spin through the air, whirling and bobbing towards him.

Thunk! He let it bounce off him, grunting a little. "Grh…"

But it came right back to me! "Hehehah! C'mere, son!"

Woosh! Thunk! He was actually slowly pushed back by the holy sword's impacts. Every time it clattered against his muscles, he took another step back.

Woosh- thunk! Woosh- thunk! Twice more, my holy club met him, pushin' him back more an' more "Yeah!" Charging it with more power this time, I threw it one last time.

Woosh- woosh- KABOOM! When it struck him this time, it exploded into holy-electric magic.

"Nngh…" Silver ended up back-first against the front door.

"You're done now!" Running down the hallway, gaining speed, Hana leapt into a dropkick. "Hiyah!"

KATHOOM! We struck like lightning, blowing him clean through the double-doors.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

THOOM! Silver flapped his arms and kicked his legs, flailing as he got his ass kicked clean outta my house!

Warm, copper-tinted light from the building's front was illuminating this entire front yard. The still sorta blown-away kitty bouncers got outta the way, beholding Silver as he rolled around in the snow.

Thud, thud, thud! Rolling to a stop, Silver slowly fought to his knees. "Hfuhh… ngh— uh…"

Sauntering outside, Nikkou and Nari pulsing with power at my wrists, only one wing working, I stood ready.

Silver shook his head. "I— just don't understand… the point of all your suffering."

"It's because I love everyone! I might be an idiot— but at least I'm not a bad guy!"

Silver chuckled. "Just… what is a bad guy?"

"Someone selfish. Someone wasteful." I took a deep breath. "You might not even normally be a bad guy… but right now, you're my bad guy. So I've gotta beat you."

"All of this—" Silver was incredulous, laughin'! "All of this, because you want to have sex!?"

"No! You misunderstood me!" I yelled back. "I wanna have sex— with the people I care about! Not for the sex! But because I love them! And only we could make each other feel good!"

Silver's mouth hung open in strange awe. "Hah…?"

"You know what you said earlier?" I remembered something… "All you wanted was freedom, right? For you and your gang cat people?"

"You… were listening?"

"Yeah. I was. And I thought, that was rich. Because we're the same. You were stepping on other people's freedom… just to keep your own safe."

Silver stood up tall. I stood ready. "That's how I know… you're wasteful. Like you can't even imagine. Because what it takes to keep yourself safe— means other people can't exist."

He had a bitter smile. "Fine. Then, since we're the same, looking for the same thing… let's make a deal."

"Huh?"

"If I win, your lover will be me, fairy girl. If we're the same, then this will be a pleasure for us both. If you win…"

"If I win, this house is ours, and you leave us alone."

Silver smiled and nodded. "It's a deal?"

"It's a deal."

Silver closed his eyes, and held his hand up.

His flashy black pimp cane returned to it, and he waved it about.

"'Tis an omen, that snowfall draws dear…" His eyes grew sharp.

FWOOM! A massive, orange aura of heat and smoke exploded off of him.

"True Silver—"

His pimp cane became a massive, alloy sword of silver.

"SLASH—"

FWISH.Before him, a matrix of Crissaegrim-esque slashes expanded towards me. Nikkou burned white, searing my hand, and I punched into the storm. Nikkou reinforced my body, the sun's light consuming the maelstrom of violence.

Crunch. Silver's fist met my cheek. My fist met his stomach.

Genkan and Maria were there, on the ground level, watching on with incredulity.

"Uhp—" Silver vomited. "Uuha… aah…"

He fell straight onto his back. "Damn... it…"

In reality… it hadn't been a deal. It had been an offer. It was Silver's final plea.

I staggered back. There was a big bloody hole in his gut. There was blood all over Nikkou.

Before I knew it, Hana had commanded us to keep going. Kneeling down ontop of him, we kept pounding Nikkou against his face.

Wham. Whap. Wham! With the pounding, thumping rhythm, we pounded his face and head into the snow.

Whap! Pap! Wham! "Never—" Wham! "—again!" Hana's desperation was fleeting, 'cause she quickly slowed to a stop, huffin' and puffin'...

…We were hardly doing anything to him, funnily enough. We sprang back into standing, staggering back.

Genkan slowly approached, brows furrowed. Maria approached too.

I gave 'em a dangerous look. They stopped.

"What," I held my arms out. "You scared?"

"Kind of," Genkan admitted! "Gods, Hana…"

"You went on a rampage." Maria was awed. "I didn't know you had this in you. I— I'm… I'm sorry for fighting against you. No hard feelings. I just… wanted to stop this from getting bigger. Because, um, wow…"

"It's okay. It'd be crazy to bet on me." I beamed. "...Genkan?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry. For making you feel bad. For making you afraid. But…" I held my ribs, ow. "I— I'm afraid of you too. So afraid. So, please… why don't we work together? I don't even care anymore. About the sex, I mean. I just want to be your friend…"

Genkan sighed. "I'm sorry for getting angry back there. I'm rather irritated by this apartment situation. That cat man was, admittedly, getting rather annoying."

"Yeah…" I let out a breath. I'm so tired. Hana was too. "Agh. Haha… I've never hurt like this before. The pain— feels so good." Hana? "Genkan… I still don't know what sex even is. What it looks like. What it feels like. Brad knows… and told me… but those memories don't mean anything to me. It's meaningless if it's not with him… or you.

"I get it. What I was trying to do is weird. Really weird. Brad thinks so. He doesn't think I should try to be a third wheel. He's very guilty about the position I'm in. He wants you to be happy more than me. Because I can take it. And I… don't want to accept that. He doesn't either. He's torn. Just… not that torn. That's why I'm here. That's why the only person I can go to is you. He can't solve this on his own, we need to decide.

"So, um… I'm sorry." Hana put her arms in the air, as if surrendering. She knelt down, halfway running outta strength. "So very sorry. I'm sorry I'm so… into him. I'm sorry he's still into me enough to not just shut me down, 'cause that would save you the trouble. I'm sorry I'm just not good enough. I'm sorry I'm an idiot. I'm… a real sorry-ass. God…

"Can we at least be friends? For— for real this time. I don't know anything about your snow sisterhood or whatever, but that's how close I want to be. And since I'm just a fairy, you don't even gotta try all that hard yourself. You wouldn't have to change much to like me."

Genkan retained a very cute, stubbornly deciduous look. "...You say all this, but you still want to have sex with my boyfriend."

"Yeah. Well… it doesn't have to be now, or ever, if you'd prefer. But— I'm not… a threat. I don't think I am. I'm just a stupid fairy. That doesn't excuse me from the responsibility of being someone you can trust. But…" I shivered. I was getting really cold. "I— I love you guys. I wanna like you more than just because Brad likes you. I wanna like you for you. I want you to like me.

"Yeah, I am an idiot. But… we're all idiots about something. All of us. Sometimes you gotta speak to people in their language. No matter how smart we think we are… or wanna be… it always comes back to this. Sometimes, a fairy's gotta be a little stupid."

Maria shared a look with Genkan.

My eyes fluttered. I was quietly dying. My arms began to sag, my wings barely visible anymore. Hana's smiling lips trembled.

Death felt good. Hana liked how it felt to die. Pain was sickeningly fascinating to her fairy mind, free of any other inhibition except for raw pain itself. Escaping hunger, age, wealth and permanent consequences, she found herself drawn to pain's carnal stimulation like it were the thread to a puzzle which no longer existed. It was like staring down a fourth-dimensional object, able to see one angle of it in our three-dimensional world, but whenever you tried to lock your eyes on it, the light and space itself shifted to obscure what was not refracting light on our plane.

Despite all my courage, despite all my shitassery, I'd look at concepts like these and still wish the world were a little more like a game. So I could toy with and fight these weird anomaly. So I could hold it in my hand, take it as my own, play with it, and find out how its joints would bend. The kinda poses you'd want it to strike.

Where I forgot about the outside's trials, traumas and stresses, Hana lusted to know them, because they were unknown. My mind kept warning her not to, and that made her own mind send a signal back that it wasn't enough. My memories of hunger and pain weren't enough for her to be satisfied.

I didn't have enough magic to switch outfits. If we froze to death, I was going to die.

Maybe, Brad, it would be better if we both died here. Then I'll finally know for real, and I might begin to understand everyone.

Genkan picked me up, able to detect my light was burning out. "In whatever case, this argument can't continue out here. Let's get inside and get you warmed up. It'd be inconvenient if you popped and forgot about this exchange."

Hana opened her mouth, but was now too cold to speak. No— let me die. Let me die! It feels so good! I'm about to figure it out! I'm about to learn what you know! No!

Damn it! Damn it damn it damn it!

Hana, I think, began crying numbly in Genkan's embrace.

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

Maria stuck a thermometer in my mouth. I had a blankie all wrapped around me. My own cyan nails drew my eyes as I shivered before the fireplace. Some were cracked, and otherwise the paint was peeling off. I forget when I even painted these. Did I ever? When I heal, do they just… paint themselves again?

creeak. We were on the… first floor, yeah. Above us, four stories worth of holes in the ceiling groaned and howled to the tune of the drafty evening wind. The red carpet beneath us was soaked, shining and glistening, slowly freezening. Freezening?

Maria patted the brown blanket she'd draped around me. "...Are you okay?"

"No." I sniffed.

Genkan was sitting by the fire next to me. Brad's warm feelings towards her and the icy way she's acted towards me— I mean Hana— keep mixing up in my head and it hurts. She was giving me a somber but analyzing look.

My jaw chattered, my body jolting with shivery jitters.

I wish the sun would come up already. I want this night to just end already. I'm reminded of the times I was tracking down Brad in the dark of the night. Totally lost amidst beautiful, deadly snow fields. Death would come slowly, and it would start with my fingers and feet. Then my arms and legs. Even my head. And finally, my heart, and I'd break apart into snow flakes and magic.

I'd spend ten hours so many days just staring up at the night sky, hissing curses at the moon and the stars and the night time wind. It was so beautiful and not meant for me. I'd die out there repeatedly. Hours of dying in the cold. Hours of this fake pain that isn't even close to what Brad or Genkan feel. Hours of being stuck.

Hours of waiting my turn. Hours of trial and error. Hours spent 'cause just maybe, the sun didn't need to rise, didn't need to help me. I could do it myself.

I was touched by the kimono Genkan and Brad got me. But… I don't want it. I don't need it. I wanna be good enough to never freeze on my own. You might call that stupid, stubborn or dumb, but… yeah.

I stood before the fire. I shivered violently, and flexed all my joints. Blue electricity shivered along all of me. "Haaah…" I shuddered an exhale, and static visibly jittered in the air where my breath was visible.

Maria took a step back. "Hana…?"

"You should have let me die." I wanted to die! "This is the first time I ever hurt this bad. It's… so…"

Bad? Good? If I die, it'll stop. If I don't die, it'll keep going. But maybe if I die, it'll spike, and I'll suddenly know. Or maybe I won't get to know ever again.

Suddenly, I couldn't look straight anymore. I had to shift my gaze a whole lot to see Maria clearly, staring at her from a weird angle.

"What's wrong?" Maria was scared. "What can we do?"

"Hana…" Genkan swallowed, but didn't know what to say.

I stared up at the sky, and saw the daytime air. An airy, infinite void of yesterday, tomorrow, things that are invisible. It was beautiful.

I expanded my wings. I was going to fly into that beautiful sky and die up there. With the wind, with all the world and houses and trees and sunlight in my eyes.

Maria took out her taser and poked me in the but with it.

KztKztKztKztKzt! She turned it on, and the jolts gently fed into my butt.

The illusion of the beautiful cold daytime sky was gone. The pain was ebbing away.

Hana— what the hell is wrong with you? Brad's first thought made me recoil. But I know he didn't mean anything bad by it.

I held my own head. "I'm sorry, Brad!"

That wasn't me dying. That was Brad dying inside me. And when we were fed with life, he came back. I was going to find out what death really felt like by making him commit suicide!

"Waaaah!" I fell to my knees and began crying.

Genkan smiled in discomfort. "It's… okay?"

"Hana…!" Maria didn't know what to do— and how could she?

Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?

That's it I'm sorry Brad but you have to get out right now I'm having a moment!

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO: BRAD'S PERSPECTIVE ====

Fwish! Oof! I got ejected! I rolled to a stop on the floor, laughin' incredulously!

"Haaaah!" Hana let out a roar and kept crying, pressing her face into her knees and just lettin' it all out.

Genkan and Maria double-took when they saw me eject!

"Haha… ow." I just spread out on the ground, freakin' defeated. "Wow."

"What—" Genkan was in awe! "What the hell?"

"You…" Maria began to put the pieces together! "Huh?" But it was still incomprehensible to her!

I looked up an' realized snow would sometimes flutter down through the many holes in the complex's floors, when the wind spared it. Just a few would trickle down to us from the evening sky, but it was magical.

I smiled at the sky. Man, Hana's… got issues! Fairies've got some real issues when you give 'em a higher IQ! Damn.

There was part of me which wanted to speak for others, to teach them, to show them the way. But the pain I felt from even Hana's shoulders was… so much. Much more than I bargained for. I knew others' pains would be great, and I knew I could never comprehend how much greater than just mine it was, but it cannot be understated: it is a level of pain not meant for mortal human minds to interact with. I don't know if any sentient mind could take that.

Suddenly, the obtuseness of the afterlife's sorting systems made sense. It was for a structural, technical and magical incapability to truly parse the weight of sentient souls and minds in their entirety.

To think Maribel wanted this herself. I realize it now— she's having what I'm having, 'cept she uh, doesn't got the fairy bullshit. So she wants to design the world around people instead… so she can learn this very same weight.

It's not worth learning. It's not worth it. It's not worth the trek. Bein' in Hana's head was fun for recreational purposes, sure, but fixing that? Even beginning to think about fixing that? Even punishment gluttons like me aren't ready for that! And I know trying! I'm the trial and error king when I decide t'be patient with it. That's what humans are best at, after all. But… some things are just too chaotic.

How can you use your trial and error to fix someone else's trial and error… errors? That's not how this works at all. That's not a problem you just stick your dick into and call it a day. Literally, in this case!

That's besides the point! Point is, assfuck.

Hana is and will always be herself, and that freedom came with one great responsibility: when she didn't change herself to be more happy when the world wouldn't change to make her happy, she'd have to live with being sad. Suicidally idealistic, even. That would just be how it is.

I sat up.

"Brad?" Genkan gave me a very confused expression! "Would you mind explaining?"

Heheheh. "...So! Agh. It all started a few hours ago, actually! Hana brought it in for a big ol' hug 'cause she was talking with Meiling about this stuff, and uh…"

==== FREAKIN GENSOKYO ====

END OF CHAPTER 126

NEW SKILLS:

Fairy Style - Pummel foes with controlling skills and incredibly long combos by joining forces with Hana. Once they're all buttered up and open, go for the felling blow! Struggles against tough crowds. Focuses less on equipment or traps and more on physical skills.

Twenty-one Hanger Line-Up - Using Hana's electric magic, wield twenty one stock plant hangers and use them to unleash incredible long aerial and ground combos. Only available in Fairy Style.

Free Flight - Hana can fly forever free in the chaos! Only available in Fairy Style.

Gift of the Fae - Enjoy extremely increased agility, heightened endurance and slow passive regeneration. Only available in Fairy Style.

Fantasy Style - Brad's most basic style, and easiest for him to use. Unleash incredible combinations of physical and magical attacks to surprise foes, or to support party members as they lay on the pain.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

what a chonker!

this was a hell of a chapter! somehow! y'know, sometimes, character conflicts and logic really write themselves.

god i wrote 10k words today and i'm gonna hafta write like 10k more jesus we're skatin' fast eatin' ass

but anyway, i really like this chapter, can't wait to tear it limb from limb in editing 'cause of the action sequence and ongoing uncertainty over how heavy and sacred genkan considers the topic of sex

this entire chapter's character conflict, climax and resolution is black magic of the most characteristic caliber— and, funnily enough, there's very little solo brad in this entire chapter, and way much more hana than in like the previous couple batches combined

i really don't know how i keep doing it! but i can sure feel how!

as always, see you all next time!