A/N: Warning for potentially upsetting dialogue, including talk of injury, blood, and mention of past suicide attempts


I drive him home. It's awkward and uncomfortable and I'm constantly looking at him to make sure he's alright. But with every mile we drive, he seems to feel better and I just keep telling myself that he's okay. That'll he be okay. God, please be okay.

I'm running on barely any sleep and adrenaline at this point but Danny's the one to suggest we stop for coffee. Stopping for anything didn't even cross my mind but when Danny insists, I give in. Because I don't want to make him argue and because I don't fucking feel like arguing.

Even though we stop a few times because of a traffic accident we're stuck behind or for coffee, we still make decent time getting back to his place. It's just past eight in the morning when I pull my car to a stop at the edge of his lawn.

I'm sure his parents will have questions. They'll wonder why he was out with me all night and why he's coming home wearing pajamas that aren't his. I should let him go. I should just tell him that I'll text him later or something but I can never let things end that easily. And he doesn't leave my car even though nothing's keeping him here so I turn to look at him.

He's staring out the window, tension in his expression as he chews on his bottom lip. There's blood in his hair and I ache to wash it out for him. To remove every trace of this horrible day but there's not much I can do.

"I'm… really glad you're okay," I mumble, afraid to speak more than what a friend would. I just want to bury my face in his chest and hold him close again. I don't ever want to let him go cause I'm fucking terrified now that I'll never see him again.

Danny exhales out quietly, nodding as he turns his gaze from the window to look at me. He's quiet as he chews on his bottom lip again for a few seconds before he lets out a quiet breath. "I'm… really sorry about your car," he says softly, dropping his gaze from mine as he shrugs.

"Don't even think about that. I'm just… I'm glad you're okay," I repeat and he nods again.

Silence falls between the two of us and I'm not sure how to break it. I don't know what needs to be said in this moment or even what he needs to hear. I just know that my heart felt ready to burst when his stuttered voice came on the line this morning. And I don't ever want to feel that fear again.

"I'm guessing you're not showing up to school today," I joke, hoping he gets the humor.

Danny snorts, turning to look back at me with a shrug. "Thought I'd sit this one out. Tomorrow too probably." He leans his head back against the seat, blinking a few times in silence before he speaks again. "Are you going?"

"Not today," I respond, already knowing that as soon as he's out of my sight, I'll be a nervous fucking wreck. I need to be able to check up on him at any point. And being stuck in classrooms for eight hours isn't gonna help me.

He nods, looking away for a second before he meets my gaze with an almost sleepy smile. "If you go tomorrow… mind picking up my homework for me?"

"Sure," I respond, my tongue feeling like sandpaper in my mouth. "That's uh… you want me to bring it by when I come over on Thursday?"

He frowns for a second before his expression eases and he nods. "Right, Thanksgiving. Yeah, bring it by then if you don't mind," he says, letting out a quiet breath as he looks away from me. "I'll text you my classes later, okay?"

"Yeah, of course," I mumble in response, the familiar taste of tension in the back of my throat again. I don't know how to end this moment or say goodbye. I don't want to see him leave my car but I know that he can't stay with me all day. His parents want to see him. And they're gonna have so many fucking questions.

Danny turns back to me, a smile on his face that seems forced but it's always so hard to tell with him. "Guess I'll see you Thursday then," he says, picking up his phone from the center console. Tiny drops of blood have gathered on the back of his phone case and he tries to keep from seeing as soon as he notices but there's no keeping this from me anymore.

This feels like a moment when I'm supposed to tell him that his phone call scared the shit out of me. That seeing him covered in blood was like something out of one of my darkest nightmares. But I don't have the strength to speak and he doesn't seem to need my pathetic attempt at a conversation anyway.

He leaves my car and I wish I had parked closer to his house so he didn't have to walk as far. I wish I had the nerve to chase after him and insist on fucking carrying him into his house. But he makes it to the porch in one piece and when he turns back to give me a wave, I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding in.

I wave at him in return before I'm pulling away from his yard, my every nerve ending on fire. I don't know how I'm supposed to get through these next couple of days without seeing him. I keep reminding myself that I'll see him on Thursday but for my panic-riddled brain, it's not enough. And I know I'll end up texting him a dozen times over the next couple of days, just wondering if he's alright.


My house is dark when I pull into the drive. For a few seconds, I wonder if dad's left the power bill for me to take care of again. And as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I realize how little it matters. After everything that's happened today, losing the power in my home means absolutely nothing.

Every step I take up to my house seems to drag all the energy from my body. I'm exhausted by the time I've gotten my front door open but I know I can't sleep yet. There's no way I can fall asleep in these clothes, carrying these memories to bed with me.

My movements are slow as I gather my clothes for a shower and for once, it's not cause I'm in pain. At least… the pain I feel isn't for me. It's for a boy so badly broken, I couldn't hold him together this time. My own hands couldn't fix him and I don't know why that hurts so much but it hurts.

I get in the shower and even though the water's warm, I don't think I've ever felt so cold in my life. My hands shake as I wash my hair and when I'm rinsing the last of the suds away, I realize how dark my fingernails are. And I almost spew vomit when I realize that the darkness is actually blood. Danny's blood. Caked under my fingernails.

My fingers turn red as I scrub every last bit of it away and when my eyes get too blurry to see what I'm doing, I only scrub harder and pretend that the water on my face is just from the shower.


I'm a wreck on Tuesday. I know I get to all of my classes on time and I pick up Danny's homework and I eat lunch with the guys but I'm a complete wreck. I take notes for myself and I try to pay attention to Algebra but I can't. Everything my teacher says just passes right through me like I'm not sitting here anymore. Like I'm sitting far away from here, holding the hand of a boy I love just to make sure that he's okay. And I guess that's where my mind will be until I'm actually sitting with him again.

Kwan asks me a couple of times if I'm okay and I even attract Keith's attention once or twice. But I give them both excuses and I fly under the radar for the most part. Except in Mr. Lancer's class.

He calls on me specifically to see if I know where Danny might be and I end up saying that he's sick. Even though it's not entirely a lie, it stills sits at the back of my throat like one. Mr. Lancer thinks it's the truth but I have a hard time swallowing it down. Danny's not sick. He almost fucking bled out yesterday.

I collect Danny's English homework when the class is over and I slide it into my backpack with mine. My hands shake just a little as I try to keep my rattled brain focused on anything other than how warm his blood was as it soaked into my clothes. How terrified he was when it was all happening and how fucking little I could do to help him.

"Earth to Dash," Jeff says with a grin as I look up from my backpack. "You've been spacing out all day, dude. Ready for the holidays to start, or what?"

I shrug, slinging my backpack onto my shoulders. "Something like that," I respond, letting out a low breath before I look back at him. "I'm headed home so… I'll see you. Enjoy Thanksgiving."

Jeff calls my name before I can get far from him and he quickly cross over to me. He takes me by the elbow and steers me out into the hall. He waits for a couple of freshman girls to pass by us before he looks back at me, raising an eyebrow.

"What the hell is going on with you?" he asks, hesitating a second before he asks it. "Did something happen between you and Fenton?"

I shake my head, chewing hard on my bottom lip as I drop my gaze to the ground. I just want to get out of here before Kwan comes out into the hall and notices me. It's always so fucking hard to lie to Kwan and I know that I won't be able to do it this time. Cause I'm still fucked up from everything that happened.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong?" Jeff asks me but his voice sounds bewildered instead of irritated. He uses his one hand to turn my face a little, whistling quietly as he talks. "Your ear is bleeding, what the fuck happened?"

I push his hand away from me, swiping my hand down the side of my face. I didn't even feel it start. But my ear's pouring blood again and I guess my eardrum is still damaged. I put the drops in like mom told me to but I guess that's not enough.

When I look down the hall, I can see Kwan standing with Keith and I know it's only a matter of time before they look my way. But I can't talk to them and I need to get this blood off my face so I move down the hall just a little and duck into the bathroom.

Jeff follows me inside and I groan, dropping my backpack on the floor. "You don't have to stick around, you know. I've got this," I say with far too much bite in my tone. I know I'm pushing him away when there's no fucking reason to but I don't want him to ask. I don't want to lie.

"Did your old man do this to you?" he asks, coming over to the sink and giving me a look. "You know you don't have to put up with his shit, right?

I don't want to correct him cause it's a decent lie. He knows the truth about my dad and usually if I'm bleeding, it's cause of something dad's done. But I don't want to fucking lie and I really don't want to lie about this.

"Stay with me over the holidays. You can get away from him for a couple of days," he says, shrugging when I look back at him. "My dad likes you and mom always says that your manners are way better than mine so… come over. I promise I won't let them ask any questions."

I unroll paper towels from the dispenser and shove a wad underneath the running water, trying to think this through. If I let Jeff think that this has something to do with my dad, he'll never let it go. But it's not like I can explain what's really going on. I can't tell him the truth.

"Dash, look, I get it. You don't have to explain how it happened. But your dad is… he's horrible to you. And you don't have to spend time with him. Especially over the holidays. So just… come stay with me and my family. It'll be fine, I'll-"

I slam my hand down on the faucet, listening to the last few drops hitting the sink before I drag in a breath. I look at Jeff, feeling like I need to bolt from the room or fucking vomit. I don't know why my heart is slamming around inside my chest or why my stomach is dong somersaults. It's just Jeff. But I'm nervous as fuck and no amount of careful breaths can stop it.

"It wasn't my dad, Jeff," I respond, rolling my eyes when he raises an eyebrow in disbelief. "If it was my own fucking father, I could own up to it. I'd fucking tell you but it wasn't fucking him."

Jeff blinks, his eyebrows high on his forehead as he stares at me. When I get a look at myself in the mirror, I can see the flush rising to my cheeks and the blood still running from my ear. I look like a fucking mess and I sound like an even worse one. I don't want to be talking about this in the middle of the men's bathroom. I just want to go home and text Danny a million fucking times until the panicked heart of mine learns to breathe again in the space where he no longer is.

I try to ignore Jeff for a few minutes while I wipe up most of the blood that's run down the side of my face, and he stays silent while I work. It doesn't take me long to get the bleeding to stop and I breathe a sigh of relief as I throw away the last of the paper towels.

"I'm fine, okay?" I mumble, my voice a lot calmer now that I'm not trying desperately to keep the panic at bay.

Jeff still doesn't buy it, I can tell from the look on his face, but it's not like I have any other excuse to explain this shit away. Danny's fucked so I'm fucked. And I don't know how to make sense of it. I don't know how to find the words to tell my teammate that I'm not okay cause Danny's not okay.

"You know you can tell me the truth, right? This shit doesn't change anything about you to me. You're still Dash – reigning champ of beer pong." He waits until I look up at him with a sigh before he continues. "And… one of my best friends. So. If shit sucks, you can tell me."

A stuttered breath tumbles from my lips and I turn my back to the sink, leaning against it as I run my hand through my hair. I can't tell him the truth. But offering up another lie doesn't sit right in my bones anymore. Jeff's a good guy. A good friend. He deserves better than a lie and I fucking hate that it's all I have to offer.

"I don't want to lie to you, Jeff. But I can't tell you the truth either," I admit, chewing on my bottom lip as I think over everything that's happened.

Jeff groans softly, but he claps me on the shoulder. "Fine. But expect me to call your ass over the holiday break to make sure you haven't keeled over somewhere," he says, pulling his phone from his pocket and making a face. "I gotta go. I'm having dinner with Star and her parents tonight but I'll definitely call you over the weekend or something."

He gives me another grin and roughly shoves my shoulder before he's heading for the exit. He's almost at the door when he turns back to me. "Oh and one more thing. If I see you bleeding again, I'm telling Kwan. Cause we all know he'll make you get it checked out," he says with another grin and then he's slipping out the door.

I lean back against the sink when he disappears and I flick my gaze up to the ceiling. I didn't have to lie to him but the taste of holding back isn't something I want to get used to again. I've always held back – from Paulina, Alex, my mom… I've never let any of them see how badly I'm doing and I don't want to fall back into old habits. I used to be okay with keeping people at arm's length but all I want to do now is hold them close. And I can only hope that it's not too late to do that.


I've come to learn that there's different types of anxiety. Some don't tear at me the way that others do. And I'm learning how to be okay with all of them.

There's the kind of anxiety I have before a game. The kind I feel when dad's angry and I'm avoiding his fists. The anxiety of being cornered by a friend who's worried about me but I know I have to lie to protect them. The anxiety that only comes when my phone rings in the middle of the night and I rush a friend to a makeshift hospital just to keep them alive. And then there's this. The kind of anxious only Danny can make me.

Waking up alone in my bed on Thanksgiving morning makes it feel like any other normal day. But I'm supposed to be at Danny's house in a few hours for lunch with his family which makes this anything but a normal day. I don't exactly mind this kind of anxiety. Maybe cause it feels more like butterflies than knives stabbing into my gut.

I kick my covers off and run a hand through my hair, taking a glance around my room. Everything feels out of place and I don't think I can stand looking at the absolute chaos that's been surrounding me since the summer.

After a glance at the various holiday texts from my teammates, I get out of my bed and power up my stereo. Dad chose to work a shift today and I heard him leave early this morning so I put on *NSYNC's greatest hits album without a second thought.

When Justin Timberlake starts crooning out the opening lines to Bye Bye Bye, I start gathering up the clothes I've left strewn all over my floor for the past few weeks. I start down the stairs to run a load of laundry, practically waddling down each step cause of how full my arms are piled.

Once I'm downstairs and I've thrown a load in, I grab a trash bag on my way up the stairs, intent on finally getting rid of the piles of shit I've had sitting around to drop off at the local charity drive since the fucking spring or something.

It takes me a good hour and a half to get all of my shit back in order and by then, my laundry has gone through the dryer. I bring up the load of clean clothes and while I start hanging most of it, I have a mini-breakdown in the middle of it, realizing for the first time since I woke up that I need to decide what the fuck I'm wearing to this lunch.

Nothing in my closet or on my bed looks good enough to meet Danny's parents in. I've technically already met them both but it doesn't count. Cause I met Mr. Fenton before I realized that I was in love with his son. The meeting with his mom happened more recently but it didn't go as well as I thought it would so… it doesn't count either. This time, it feels more official. Which is fucking crazy cause we're not dating. And meeting a friend's parents is nothing like meeting a boyfriend's parents. But my stupid, love-drunk heart decides to prepare like it's the latter.

I go through everything I own three times before I come up with a collection of acceptable options – completely freaking out on which one to go with. As I'm staring down at all my options, my stupid brain decides to remind me that I don't actually have time for this – I need to leave within the next hour and a half and I haven't even showered yet. Which is a great thing to be reminded of while I'm having a breakdown over a fucking outfit.

After several unsuccessful games of 'eeny meeny miney moe', I give up and find my phone buried beneath the pile of clothes I've yet to hang up. I nervously chew my fingernails as I type with one hand, hoping that he's not busy.

To: Kwan

I could really use your help

I stare down at the outfits laid out on my bed for about three seconds before I start taking photos, sending each outfit off for Kwan's approval. When I wasn't so lost in my own head on Tuesday, I mentioned that I was spending Thanksgiving with Danny's family and Kwan teased me just a little. I don't even know if he realized I was being serious. To be fair, I was a fucking wreck on Tuesday.

A breath leaves me as I lean against my bed, Monday's events flashing through my mind again. I spent yesterday doing nothing other than worrying over Danny and occasionally working through a math problem. I barely remember Tuesday, other than Jeff cornering me. I just remember Monday. In crystal clear detail.

Thinking about the shit that happened to Danny causes a different kind of anxiety to pick at my bones and I hate the way it feels. So I push that day from my mind and focus on the clothes I still have spread on my mattress instead. Nothing like the thought of meeting your not-boyfriend's parents to drive out the darker thoughts.

I look between the outfits again, remembering that I need a jacket since it's actually cold out now - the weather channel's predicting snow this weekend. Which is cool and all but… fuck what jacket do I add to any of these options? Is my letterman jacket too much? I have one in the back of my closet that makes me look like a fucking marshmallow that mom forced me to wear for two years in a row… I don't even know if that one will fit me anymore… fuck why am I overthinking this?

After about ten years of silence, my phone finally vibrates from a response. I snatch the damn thing from my bed, waiting while the rest of his rapid-fire messages appear on my screen.

From: Kwan

Omg, are you serious?

This is so adorable

Just wear what makes you comfortable. Remember, confidence is sexy ;P

To: Kwan

Shut up

If I wanted some cheesy pep talk I woulda put on fucking Oprah

Help me, now

From: Kwan

3 3 3

You're so cute, Dash

To: Kwan

Do I need to fucking throttle you?

Just tell me what looks good or I swear I'll drive to your house and strangle you

I chew on the inside of my cheek and glance through the outfits again. Why can't Kwan lay off the teasing for just a few fucking seconds and help me before I have another goddamn breakdown? Groaning, I send another message, finally going for broke.

To: Kwan

I've never tried to impress a guy before… I don't know what I'm doing

From: Kwan

Okay, okay. Can you Facetime?

To: Kwan

Only if you're not gonna make fun of me


It takes the two of us thirty minutes longer than it should to put together an outfit that Kwan thinks is good and that I don't feel like an idiot in. I've settled on the pair of jeans I wore on my birthday, in a pathetic attempt to impress him then too, and a black sweater with a tiny emblem or logo stitched at the bottom hem. Kwan says that the outfit is sharp. I'm just glad that I don't have to wear my stupid marshmallow jacket.

We decided that the letterman jacket wasn't too much and it actually provides a conversation starter in case I get there and feel awkward as fuck. Which eases some of the tension building in my gut and I feel less like puking up stomach acid onto my bedroom floor.

I thank Kwan for his help, and flip him off when he starts teasing me, before I end the call and then it's silent in my bedroom. I turned the music off earlier when I called Kwan and even though the silence is scratching at my brain, I don't have time to turn it back on again.

As soon as I find a towel, I get into the shower and go through the motions as fast as I can. I find my razor as soon as I step out and clear away the steam that's settled on the mirror, intent on taking care of this stubble I've let grow for the past couple of days.

During my search for shaving cream underneath the sink, I find some cologne that Paulina gifted me a couple Christmases ago. Once the stubble is gone and I've decided that the cologne actually smells pretty decent, I dot some of it onto my neck and the underside of my jawline, hoping that I'm not going overkill. Try to remember that mentally telling Danny you like him isn't the same thing as actually telling him. You're meeting your wannabe-boyfriend's parents. Not your actual boyfriend's parents.

I grumble as I shove the cologne underneath the sink again and check over my reflection with a sigh. I look okay. Not the kind of person that would make Danny's heart race but… I look okay.

Once I'm dressed, it takes about three tries to get a decent enough photo to send to Kwan on snapchat. I thank him for his help in the caption and he responds with a string of heart-eyed emoji's. I roll my eyes when he sends back a photo of his stupid grin with the caption, "If Danny doesn't want you, hmu hottie ;p", reminding me that as helpful as he can be, deep down, Kwan will always be a thirsty fucker.


Driving usually has a calming effect on me. I get lost in the way the road feels under my tires and the radio drifting softly from my speakers. But today's drive only serves to give the anxiety more opportunity to somersault inside my gut.

I get to Danny's place a little past noon and I coast to a stop at the edge of his lawn. Danny told me that lunch was at twelve-thirty… being early is a good thing, right? It's not too eager or pathetic, is it? Fucking chill, he's just your friend. Your really hot friend that you sometimes wanna kiss. Shit, I can't think that way. I'm gonna be sitting at a table with his parents, I can't think about how hot he is. ...Fuck, now I can't think about anything other than how hot he is.

After I double-check that the backseat is still covered with an old sheet I found in dad's closet this morning, I push out a breath and aim the rearview mirror toward my face. I still don't look 'sweep Danny off his feet' good but I don't look horrible. With a grumble, I get out of my car and take the stack of his homework assignments with me. I shuffle my feet in place, staring up at his front door instead of mustering up the courage to walk up and knock. Shit, why is this fucking with me? Why am I still so goddamn nervous?

There's a brief moment of panic where I wonder if I should have brought something with me, some kind of gift for the Fenton's. After I scroll back through the texts I sent Danny the other day, I'm able to convince myself that it's fine. I specifically asked if I should bring anything with me today and he said no. Actually, he said he'd kick my ass if I did which I take as the same thing. God help me if he was kidding.

Every step I take toward the door makes the nervous feeling in my stomach grow, ballooning out on all sides of me like a fucking bubble. I think of pins and sharp objects and anything that could puncture this film that's growing around me but I settle on letting out a pent-up breath and shuffling my feet before I ring the doorbell.

I don't even realize how much I'm straining my ears to hear movement from the other side of the door until I hear Danny's voice. I don't catch what he says but I recognize his voice. He's talking to someone that isn't close to the door like he is and I fucking hold my breath as he tugs the door open.

Danny's face breaks into a grin when he sees me and his gaze slowly drifts down my body. I feel self-conscious under his stare but the flush that quickly grows on my face is nothing compared to the pink that stains his cheeks.

"H-Hi," he squeaks out, stepping back to let me inside.

I step inside and kick my shoes off, gently nudging them next to a pile of abandoned sneakers, and discreetly check Danny out.

His hair is just as wild as ever, looking like he just rolled out of bed, and he's thrown on an oversized sweatshirt with a pair of sweatpants. Something sharp and ugly twists in my gut when I realize where he got those sweatpants. And why I recognize them.

Danny glances down where my stare is and he lets out a breath. "Sorry… none of my pajamas were clean and wearing anything else is still uncomfortable," he mumbles, dropping his gaze from mine when I look back at him.

"Are you… okay?" I mumble, already knowing the answer to that. Of course he's not okay. He's still in a fuck ton of pain and the last thing he probably wants is someone asking him if he's okay. Because he's probably been lying his ass off ever since I drove him home on Monday.

He darts his gaze away, pink rising to his cheeks again as he talks. "I'm doing… okay," he whispers, glancing over his shoulder before he focuses on me, taking a step closer. Instinctively, I grab his elbow gently and he relaxes a little into the touch. "Jazz is getting kinda suspicious but if she knew how much this thing has escalated with phantom, she'd get so pissed and there's no telling what-"

"Dash, hello!" Mr. Fenton calls, suddenly behind Danny. I drag my gaze up to his father instead, reluctantly letting go of Danny when he takes a step back.

I paste a smile on my face, extending my hand out toward him. "It's good to see you again, sir. Th-Thank you for… having me in your home, Mr. Fenton." I spare a glance toward Danny, trying to see if I'm being too much, but he just sticks his tongue out in response.

"Please, call me Jack," he says, offering me up a grin before he turns to Danny. He wraps his arms around Danny's shoulders and tugs him close. My heart climbs into my chest at the pain only I can see pass over Danny's face with the movement. No, you're supposed to hold him gently. Please, hold him gently.

"I-Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask, nervously fidgeting with the cuffs of my jacket.

Jack hesitates for a second before he pulls away from Danny, giving me a wide smile. "Sure. Why don't you set the table with Danny?"

Danny gives me a tired smile when I look his way and I wonder how much this tears at his sanity. Pretending to be okay when he's really not. Hiding bruises and lying about pain and- shit, I guess we really do have this in common.

I follow Danny into the dining room and he hesitates by the table before he exhales out a breath. "Come on," he gestures toward the kitchen and makes a face when I look at him. "Better to get this over with."

He steps into the kitchen and starts for a cabinet. "Hey, mom. Dash is here," he says casually as he passes by his mom. She's standing in front of the stove, the same one I cooked stir-fry on fucking ages ago, and I watch her posture stiffen at the mention of me. She practically prickles as she lifts her gaze to stare at him and it only takes a second of the death stare between the two of them to kick my ass into action.

"Let me get those," I say, crossing over to Danny. I feel Mrs. Fenton's eyes on me from the moment I speak and with every step I take closer to her son. I try not to let it fuck with my nerves but holy shit, what the hell does she have against me?

Danny starts to argue when I reach for the plates in the cabinet but he shuts up when I give him a look. He'd have to stretch up to reach them and no way in hell am I letting him do anything that could hurt him worse.

Mrs. Fenton meets my gaze when I turn around and I slowly exhale out a breath. She keeps watching me even as I leave the room and I try to ignore. When I step into the dining room, Danny tries to take the plates and I won't let him.

"What?" he asks innocently, a slight flush on his cheeks.

I give him a look. "Seriously? You're still hurting, I'm not letting you do anything." I start setting the plates out, ignoring him when he starts to tell me that he's okay enough to help out with this and that his family will get suspicious. I don't care. It's just me in here right now. He doesn't have to pretend for this moment.

He finally exhales out with a sigh and gives up, just standing around while I set plates and forks out for six people. I wonder if there's a specific chair that Danny sits in and if I could somehow make sure that my spot is next to his...

A prickling sensation registers in my mind and I slowly glance back at the kitchen. His mom looks away as soon as my gaze is on hers and she returns back to cooking, pretending that she wasn't paying us any attention. "Hey… Danny?" I wait until he looks at me before I ask. "Why the hell does your mom hate me so much?"

Danny makes a soft noise in the back of his throat, shaking his head before he looks away. "Please don't… take it personally, I promise it's not you." His face flushes when I hold his stare and I guess he realizes that I need more than that. "It's just cause… since my ex-boyfriend I don't… really bring home any guys other than Tucker."

A breath passes between us and his entire face turns red. "N-Not that you're a guy I'm bringing home. I just mean… y-you know parents assume all kinds of stuff a-and… sorry. I-It's not you, that's… what I was trying to say," he mumbles, dropping his gaze from mine with his face still bright red.

Shit. In all of the craziness of this past week, I almost forgot about what he told me on the balcony that night. About his ex-boyfriend. God, that feels like forever ago that he brought me a blanket and sat beside me while we talked about life and love and fucking everything with my teammates.

I start to say something – finally broach the topic of his piece of shit ex – but my tongue is tied and his eyes are so fucking blue I lose the nerve and I can't talk. Nothing intelligible spills from my mouth no matter how I try and he kills me when he tilts his head to the side, silently encouraging me to keep going. I would Danny. If I wasn't choking on the lump in my throat just thinking about you, I'd say everything running circles in my mind.

He takes a step closer to me, taking my hand in his and I picture being the one to kiss his knuckles this time. If I was anywhere near as cool as he is about all this shit, I'd be daring enough to touch him carelessly and he'd fall for me the way I have for him but… I'm a dying star and Danny's the fucking galaxy.

"Lunch is almost ready, you two," Jack says, suddenly in the doorway. He gives us a puzzled look and Danny pulls his hand from mine, his face flushed again the second the awkward silence settles over the three of us.

Jack glances between the two of us before a smile quickly pulls at his expression. "Danny, why don't you go introduce Dash to Tucker and Jazz? And make sure the two of them find their way to the table. Your mother and I'll be finished in a few minutes."

"O-Okay," Danny mumbles in response, taking a step away from me when his dad disappears from the doorway. He pushes out a breath, glancing my way with that flush still tinged across his cheeks. "I mean… y-you never officially met Tucker before, I don't think… but you know Jazz s-so…" he trails off, nodding toward the exit.

After a few seconds of trying to remember how to fucking breathe right, I follow after Danny into the living room. Before we're even around the corner, I can hear Jazz's voice. She's laughing at something Tucker's explaining and I don't know why but I steel myself before the two of them come into view.

Jazz is sitting on the couch that Danny and I shared the night I made him dinner and we watched a movie together, her back against the armrest and legs stretched across the seats. She's looking down at Tucker, sprawled out on the floor with a mass of textbooks surrounding him. He's got his elbows propped up, chin resting in his palms as he explains something about whatever he's reading.

Danny gives me a final glance before he clears his throat, making the other two in the room aware of our presence.

Jazz looks up first, her face spreading into a grin when she sees me. "Hey, Dash!" she says, getting up from the couch and immediately crossing over to me. Tucker watches from the floor, his gaze flicking to Danny when Jazz pulls me into a hug.

"I heard you've been making good on your promise to me," Jazz says when she pulls away from me, a wicked grin on her face when she turns to give Danny a sly look. "I heard a little rumor that you got this one to spend the weekend with you at an away game?"

Danny's face flushes immediately and he scratches at the back of his head awkwardly. "Y-Yeah, you… should have heard mom afterwards…" he trails off, nervously flicking his gaze toward mine like he's waiting to see my reaction.

"She'll get over it," Jazz responds, easily becoming my favorite person right now. Cause she's right. I don't know why their mom is so protective of Danny and why she was so pissed that he took off for the game but it shouldn't matter that much. Cause Danny was happy and I wonder how often he gets to smile the way he did while we were away.

Tucker rises from his position on the floor and shoots a grin Danny's way. "She went off on you again?" he asks, jerking a thumb in my direction. "I thought she went off on you when you were out with him all day. You know, when you were completely ignoring a friend in need."

"H-Hey, I wasn't ignoring you… a-and besides, I can't help you with your homework, Tucker. You really suck at explaining what you have a problem with," Danny mumbles, his gaze straying toward me. I wonder if my face is as red as his is. Cause holy shit, it feels really fucking hot in here.

Danny draws in a breath, glancing toward Tucker. "A-Anyway, you two know each other by name but… Tucker, Dash. Dash, this is my friend Tucker," he gestures between the two of us and panic splits through me for a second as I try to figure out what the hell to do. I shook Jack's hand when I first met him, Jazz hugged me, and Mrs. Fenton just gave me the death stare. This is his friend. What the fuck do I-

"Hey, man. Glad to finally know who's dragging my best friend out of the house more often than I managed to do," Tucker says, going in for a fist bump. He grins when I return the gesture and glances at Danny, his expression falling a little. "She really lectured you, huh?"

Danny glances over his shoulder toward the dining room before he looks back at Tucker with a shrug. "Yeah… she went on forever, too. You know how she is."

I wish I knew what they were talking about. I do on some level but whatever pushed Danny away from his mom happened before I knew him and I don't have the balls to ask him. Cause I figure that's something he'll bring up when he's ready. I think I've pushed him enough to last a lifetime.

"Kids, come on!" Jack calls out and Tucker practically tramples Jazz to leave the room.

Jazz laughs when I glance at her. "He's in love with our mom's bread rolls, you'll have to forgive him. Tucker loses all semblance of manners when it's time to eat."

"Hey, I heard that!" Tucker yells over his shoulder.

Danny nudges my hand with his own, jerking his head toward the dining room. It only takes a small smile from him to remind the butterflies in my gut to fly around again, settling comfortably around my heart and throat. Cause I'm following after Danny into the dining room where we're gonna eat with his family. And despite the butterflies and the knowledge that neither of my parents wanted to spend the day with me, I'm not gonna let anything fuck with me. I'm spending the day with the boy I love. That should really be enough.


Lunch with the Fenton's and Tucker isn't anything like what I imagined. I guess I expected there to be some kind of awkward silence, considering the way Mrs. Fenton was staring me down earlier, but the conversation isn't stilted at all.

Tucker and Jazz keep up a steady pace, talking about school and upcoming finals and all the joys of being a college student. Danny occasionally adds his thoughts into the conversation and Jack teases his daughter a few times. Mrs. Fenton is mostly quiet but I catch her smiling at something one of her kids says every now and then.

Like Kwan said, my letterman jacket is pointed out and Jack asks how the season went. There's a round of congratulations when I start talking about the championship game and even Mrs. Fenton gives me a smile. I'm exhilarated from the praise and I can't stop from grinning as I tell them about the season and how long it's been since Amity Park won.

Somehow during the conversation, the topic of Danny's birthday comes up and I didn't realize it hadn't passed earlier in the year. Two weeks seems so close and I'm incredibly aware of how little time I have to plan something for him that's as good as what he did for me.

Jazz and Tucker bully me into putting their numbers into my phone, insisting that they'll text me with birthday gift suggestions for Danny. Even though I pretend like I don't need their help, I'm really fucking grateful that they're offering cause I have no clue where to start with Danny. How do I do enough for him so he knows he means the world to me without basically asking him on a date? Even if that is what my stupid, pathetic heart wants to do.

Once lunch is over with, Mrs. Fenton bans the four of us from the kitchen while she bakes pie but she makes her husband stick around for cleanup duty. Danny makes some joke about how his dad's just sticking around to get the first slice of pie and Jack kicks us all outside.

Tucker insists on the stereotypical Thanksgiving activity – a short game of tackle football. I'm all for it, intent on kicking their asses, until I remember Danny. Who's still hurting from the injury my mom stitched closed three days ago. There's no way in hell I'm letting him play.

I suggest something about making it touch or flag instead since there's just four of us but Tucker insists that it's not football unless it's tackle. I start to argue, insist that we change it, but Danny cuts me off before I really get going.

"Nah, Tucker's right. It's not football unless it's tackle," Danny says with a smile, turning just slightly so only I can see his face. He raises his eyebrows and mouths, "chill out" at me but I don't know if I can. Cause I'm picturing how badly I ached after I played with my cracked rib during the championship game. I can't stand the thought of him feeling even a fraction of what I did.

Jazz wants to be pitted against her brother and I want to protect her brother so I make some crack at being able to take her down easily and that instantly puts me on Danny's team. He gives me a look like he knows what I'm trying to do and I only respond with a shrug. If he won't let this game go, I'm gonna protect him.

The game gets off to a good start and I manage to catch every ball that Tucker or Jazz tries to throw past us, immediately putting Danny and I ahead by a fuckton of points. Even with as careful as I'm being around him, Danny still takes a pretty hard dive to catch a ball that I miss and it makes me wince when he doesn't immediately get up.

Danny bounds over to me, a grin plastered on his face and I know that must have hurt him. But he keeps a smile up and even manages to throw a few teasing jibes toward his sister. She responds by sticking her tongue out and then the game is back on again.

We're almost halfway to the score we settled on and Jazz and Tucker are losing horribly. Tucker keeps insisting that it's unfair to have me on Danny's team since I actually play ball but Jazz responds that only losers whine about unfairness and the game continues regardless.

I've just blocked a ball from getting past our goal and I'm currently chasing it down when I see Jazz heading straight for her brother. I don't have time to find my voice before she's tackling him, rolling across the grass with him, her laugh floating into the air. I wonder if I'm the only one that can see the rigidness in his body and the slight pain hidden behind his smile.

He jokes it off with his sister but I can tell how careful he is when he gets up. How every step he takes is done gingerly and how hard he's trying to pretend that he isn't hurting. God, Danny, why couldn't you just sit on the sidelines instead of playing?

I slowly cross over to the two of them, purposefully dragging my feet to give Danny a longer time to recover from it. I guess it's just a sibling thing cause they make it seem like it's normal to casually tackle each other.

Danny's expression is pinched and his lip fucking trembles when Jazz has her back turned and I can't let him play. I can't watch him grit his teeth and white-knuckle his way through this game like I've done in the past. It's not that Danny's not as strong as I am, that he can't handle it like I can… it's the opposite. I'm not strong enough to watch him hurting.

"H-Hey, I'm gonna go see if mom needs any help inside… try to mend fences," Danny says before I can call this game off. He talks with a joke in his tone and Jazz waves him off with a quiet 'good luck' before he's heading toward the house.

As soon as he's gone, Tucker mentions calling his own mom and wanders away from me and Jazz. She abandons the game entirely and we settle for tossing the ball back and forth between us.

"So," Jazz starts with a grin, easily catching the ball again. She tosses it between her hands for a second before she hurls it my way. "What are you planning on getting Danny for his birthday?"

I fumble on the catch but I still manage to grab it. I know my face is flushed when I straighten back up and Jazz's fucking grin doesn't help me. I try to push the butterflies down, convince them that now is not the time, but they explode within my gut and it's a losing battle.

"I'm… still thinking over a couple of possibilities," I say, exhaling out as I pass the ball between my hands. If I had known how close his birthday is before today, I would have the proper amount of time to freak the fuck out over what to do for him. Considering I had to call Kwan over a fucking outfit choice, deciding what to do for Danny's birthday is gonna be torture.

Jazz crosses over to me and I realize I still haven't thrown the ball. "Well… there's a planetarium not too far from here. You could take him there," she suggests, chewing on her lip.

"He took me there a while ago… a-actually, the day I met you we were there," I mumble.

She grins. "Good. At least you know how important space is to him." She glances at her house, concentration on her face. She makes various 'hmm' and 'huh' noises as she tries to make another suggestion and I start to rapidly lose hope in this situation. If I can't measure up to what he did for my birthday… he's gonna think I don't care about him. And god, it's just the opposite.

"I'll just… give it some thought and come up with something." I shrug when Jazz looks my way and she gives me a sly look like she knows something I don't know.

She folds her arms over her chest and apparently can't hold back a grin any longer. "So, Dash… when did you realize you were falling for my brother?"

Holy fucking shit. I think the ground drops out from under me or at least sways cause for a second, I can't breathe. I thought I was being subtle. I thought no one could tell that I like him. I lied to Alex for a while. I even managed to fool Kwan… fuck, how is-

"I'm majoring in psychology and you're like textbook infatuated with him. Don't take it personally," Jazz says, laughing at whatever expression is on my face. "Seriously though, how long have you been interested in him?"

Hey ground, it's me, Dash. Mind opening up and swallowing me for a while?

I push out a breath, dropping the football on the ground to rub my eyes with my fists. I don't know how the fuck to tell Danny's sister that I love him. It's blown well past being interested by now. She was right the first time. I am falling for him. Have fallen for him. And it's not just the thing he does, it's who he is. His kind nature, his passion and love for all things space, his willingness to miss sleep to sit with me on the hood of my car while I endlessly bitch about life. Danny is a taste of stardust to my endless black skies.

"God… I don't… a long time," I mumble, running a hand down my face. I look away from Jazz when she grins again but I get the sense that she's not trying to tease me. It still doesn't stop me from fucking blushing but whatever. It's the thought that counts and all that bullshit.

Jazz makes a few more birthday suggestions before Tucker's jogging over to us again. I barely know him and I guess it's the nerves eating away at me from the conversation with Jazz that make me ask him how his mom is.

Tucker pulls a face. "She's upset cause I didn't want to come see her and my step-dad this weekend. But they're in Egypt… like hell am I spending my Thanksgiving in a sweltering heat. Besides, I've missed hanging out with Danny these past few months." He glances up toward the house with a smile. "He's way better company anyway."

I want to ask about Tucker's family but it's none of my business. If he asked me why I'm with the Fenton's today instead of my own family, I'd probably shut it the fuck down. Thankfully, Jazz doesn't keep us in silence for long, her exhale quickly disturbing the quiet.

"They still bitching at you about your major?" she asks, her eyebrows drawing down when he nods. "Well… screw them, they'll get over it."

Tucker exhales out a breath, his eyes falling closed as a muscle in his jaw works. I wonder if shit's bad for him. I wonder if he calls Danny late into the night, asking for advice. I wonder if Danny does the same to Tucker.

Jazz toes the ground with her shoe, nudging her elbow into his side. "Come on, don't think about them. Let's play some ball and forget about shit for a while." She bends down to scoop up the ball and the two of them start tossing it back and forth for a couple of turns.

Occasionally they toss it to me and we start a brief game of monkey in the middle before I notice that the front door has opened. Danny steps out onto the porch and uneasily sinks himself down onto the steps, looking like every movement is causing him more pain than the last one.

I immediately abandon Tucker and Jazz, and they don't seem to notice. It only takes me a couple of seconds to get to Danny and his face flushes when I get close to him. I collapse onto the porch step beside him, letting out a breath.

Jazz and Tucker keep up their tossing, making fun of each other when they miss, and it quickly turns into a competition of who can throw the ball furthest. I watch the two of them for a few seconds, giving myself the time to even my breathing out before I speak.

"You okay?" I ask, keeping my gaze away from Danny for as long as I can stand it before I have to look at him. Just to make sure that he's still sitting next to me and to attempt to convince myself that the pain I can hear in his inhale is just my imagination.

Danny's teeth are gritted and he slowly pushes out a breath. "I'm managing." A groan slips from him and he hesitates a few seconds before he turns to look at me, agony written across his face. "I… ripped one of my stitches out just now."

Fuck.

I swallow hard, mentally running through how to sew wounds closed again, and wondering if he even has the supplies I'll need, before I decide to ask if he even wants my help. "Do you want me to take a look at it?"

"No." He shakes his head, his gaze flitting toward Jazz for only a second before he's looking at me again. "I think I fixed it but… it still hurts a lot. I've been so careful lately but that was… too much, I guess." He unconsciously puts a hand over where the injury is and I glance down at the movement.

Danny looks up at me again, his teeth sunk into his bottom lip and for once, it doesn't attract my attention. Probably cause I can see the pain in his expression. "I-I'm okay… I promise."

"You're a shit liar," I mumble.

He softly groans, dropping his head into his hands. He jerks his fingers through his hair, letting out a quiet breath. "Believe it or not… I've been worse before. This, I can handle. It's just… really painful right now. The worst of it will be over in the next couple of days."

I hate the thought of him handling any kind of pain. It's not right. Pain isn't a word I want to hear associated with Danny for the rest of my life. Cause he's so fucking important to me, I can't let anything happen to him. Not anymore.

"Hey, you guys playing or what?" Jazz calls from the yard, her hands cupped around her mouth like a make-shift megaphone. Danny exhales out softly and looks like he's about to force himself to get up and rejoin the game. I grab his elbow before he can move.

"Nah," I call back, giving her my best grin. "I'm bored of winning."

Jazz flips me her middle finger before she's focused on Tucker again. They discuss some kind of rule before they're back to tossing the ball further and further away, constantly chasing after it. I watch them for a few seconds, forcing myself to find the strength to say what I know I need to.

"I… want you to give up the phantom thing," I say, surprised my voice doesn't shake. I glance toward him after a few seconds of silence. He's looking away from me but something tells me that the pinched expression on his face isn't just from the pain radiating through him.

After a few seconds with no response, I draw in a breath and force myself to keep talking. Cause I need to say this shit as much as he needs to hear it.

"D-Danny… seeing all that blood on you… i-it scared the shit out of me," I mumble, turning toward him more. He slowly draws in a breath and flicks his gaze up to meet mine. I draw on some unknown source of bravery and cup his cheek with my hand. "I can't… watch anything like this happen to you again. Please… j-just let all this phantom stuff go."

He gives me a wry smile and I can see the exhaustion in his expression as I drop my hand from his cheek. "And here I was, thinking over your offer to help me practice this shit," he says, the grin losing strength when I don't return it.

Danny sighs, readjusting himself until he can drop his head against my shoulder. He's quiet for a few minutes, the two of us just staring out at Tucker and Jazz in the silence that's settled between us. When he finally speaks, his voice trembles and the sound tears at my heart.

"I k-kind of lied to you before, Dash… I-I said that I started this phantom thing by accident but… th-that was a lie," he mumbles, pulling away from me. He rubs at one eye with his fist and I feel like I've been punched in the gut when he sniffles. Why didn't I notice when he started crying?

He lets out a soft breath that hangs in the air between us. He's so cold, he's starting to shiver and even though he has a hoodie on, I shed my letterman jacket and tuck it around him.

Danny gives me a look like I'm being excessive but I won't let him give the jacket back to me. Even though he argues at first, he snuggles down into the warmth of my jacket and lets out a quiet breath. He draws his knees up to his chest with a small wince and loops his arms around his shins, dropping his chin onto his knees.

"I started this thing cause… the accident that gave me these abilities… i-it was my parents fault. And I just… I wonder sometimes how much they think about that. How often they wonder if I've been changed since then," he says, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of his hoodie. "I started doing this shit cause they study things like me. Ghosts and spirits and… whatever you want to call them. And because of their machine… I'm part ghost… and I wanted to make them see me. Notice this change in me. Cause since the day I came home from the hospital, they've barely mentioned it. S-Sometimes… I wonder if they even care that much about me."

He sniffles again, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He hesitates a second before glancing my way. "I don't… want anything like that to happen again either. And trying to get my parents to notice me this way wasn't the best idea, I guess." Danny drops his stare from mine, letting out a breath. "The government's noticed me by now and they'll probably still be looking for me. S-So… you might still hear things about the phantom for a while. But… I-I'm gonna quit this."

I lean closer to him, immediately gaining his attention. I brush my thumb along his cheek and he shivers under my touch, his eyes practically sparkling as he stares back at me. I want to ask him to stop thinking about his parents. To stop thinking about every fucked-up thing about his life. I want to be selfish and ask him to just be in this moment with me. But he needs someone right now and my words will be more sincere if I don't punctuate them with a kiss.

"Don't let your parents control your life, okay? I know you want their attention but you're right. This isn't the way to get it." I gently run the pad of my thumb across his cheek, watching his every twitch with the movement, and his response makes me feel brave. "I… r-really like you… wh-when you're not covered in blood, Danny."

He exhales out a broken laugh, his face bright red under my touch. I can't help but picture his face the color it is now but we're not sitting on his front porch in my imagination. We're somewhere far more comfortable, with our skin touching and his fingernails scraping down my back and our warm hands clasped in each other's and -

The front door bangs open behind us and I jump at the sound, scrambling to put distance between the two of us. My heart's hammering in my chest as Jack steps out onto the front porch, brandishing a tray of four mugs.

"Kids, I have hot chocolate!" Jack calls out to Tucker and Jazz. They immediately abandon their game and jog toward the porch.

Danny and I barely have time to scoot out of their way before they're thundering up the stairs to get to Jack. I manage to duck around them and I sit next to Danny again. His dad hands a mug of hot chocolate to both of us and I watch the delicate way Danny licks the foam until he catches me staring. Then I have to pretend to be interested in my own drink and act like the flush I can feel creeping up further on my face isn't there when there's no doubt it definitely is. How am I supposed to keep my face from coloring when Danny's sitting so close to me, that our knees are touching?


After the hot chocolate has been completely demolished, the four of us relocate inside and end up in the living room. Tucker bemoans his fate of college subjects again and Danny rolls his eyes before he moves to the floor next to him, easily explaining what Tucker doesn't understand.

Jazz and I are on the couch, her legs stretched across the seat Danny just vacated, and she keeps grinning every time I look Danny's way. Which really doesn't help the butterflies going nuts in my stomach. Or the pounding of my heart every time he just fucking smiles.

Tucker abandons his textbooks after a while and the four of us start swapping stories from when we were kids or even shit that happened this past week. I hear a ton of stories about people in Tucker's classes and Danny interrupts him multiple times to correct a few details he's overexaggerating.

"So, anyway," Tucker continues, flipping Danny off for the hundredth time. "That's why my English teacher was forced to give me an A even though I probably averaged like a C minus in her class."

Jazz scoots down further on the couch, her toes digging into my thigh with the movement. She lets out a breath, lolling her head back on the armrest. "Sounds like you need more tutoring sessions with Danny," she teases, glancing at Tucker, who rolls his eyes.

She smirks before looking back to me with a nod. "Did Danny tell you about the trip he and I took a couple summers back?"

Danny bristles, looking up from Tucker's textbook to glance between us. Apparently, he deems whatever she's about to say as unimportant cause he returns his gaze to the textbook, his eyes scanning the page he's on.

I'm busy watching him from the corner of my eye but I manage to glance toward Jazz with a shake of my head. She slouches down further on the sofa, her eyes falling closed as a smile passes over her face. "We went to Florida, originally destined for Disney World but we stayed a lot longer than that. We were away from our parents for the whole summer and I swear, half of our time there, we spent on the beach. Danny even got a tan for once," she teases, blinking an eye open to look his way.

His face is tinged red but he ignores her, slowly licking his index finger to turn the page. He keeps his gaze on the textbook but something tells me he's not reading. "Yeah, well…" he mumbles, running a finger down the page. "Tans are overrated." He glances up with a roll of his eyes. "Besides, that was right before everything went to shit and my body lost all hope of ever tanning again. My pale skin is never getting any darker thanks to my fucked up genetics."

Jazz's eyes widen and she sits up a little, her gaze darting toward me. "Danny… you're still perfectly normal. Some people just don't tan." She fidgets nervously and I think I might have missed something.

Tucker chews his bottom lip before he quickly nods, glancing my way before he's focused on Danny. "Yeah, Jazz is right. Plus, we'll all still like you even if you are paler than a sheet," he says with a joke to his tone but he's not given a grin in return.

Danny shoves the textbook off his lap with a rough sigh, almost glaring as he looks between the two of them. "Relax, okay? Dash knows about the accident."

All eyes are suddenly on me and Jazz repeatedly opens and closes her mouth as she tries to make sense of what her brother just said. That's right. I do know about the accident. And there's no way I'm gonna let either of these two think that he made a mistake by opening up to me.

"Yeah, he told me a little while ago," I say, sliding off the couch and onto the floor, my back against the front of the couch. I let out a sigh and lean my head back against the cushion, staring up at the ceiling.

Jazz lets out a soft breath and glances between me and her brother. Tucker doesn't take nearly as long to recover as Jazz does and I wince when he leans over to punch Danny on the arm.

"You told someone else the secret and didn't bother telling me?" he demands, placing a hand over his heart and giving Danny a look. "Tsk, tsk. Next thing we know, you're lying to us about who you've been hanging out with and making up excuses for why you suddenly have new interests."

Danny's face turns red and he shoves Tucker, nervous laughter sputtering from him. "Shut up."

Tucker grins and continues teasing Danny. He shoves Danny back and Jazz cocks her head at Danny's pained 'oof' when his friend climbs on top of him, attempting to wrestle with him. I sit up straighter, my hands balling into fists in my lap. I count the seconds in my head, hoping that Tucker cuts it out before I reach ten.

Danny lets out a pained groan. "S-Stop… Tuck…"

He's so quiet, I'm not surprised that Tucker didn't hear him. But since that phone call on Monday, I hear every sound Danny makes, no matter how quiet. And I'm moving from in front of the sofa before Jazz even opens her mouth and her quiet 'hey' is lost in my actions.

I give Tucker's shoulder a shove, trying to stop this before it gets any worse. "Hey man, come on. Get off of him."

Tucker flips me off with a laugh. "Getting Dash to defend you now, huh? Can't beat the wrestling champ anymore?" he asks, before he pulls away from me, trying to pounce on Danny again. He only gets a split second before I grit my teeth and push him away again, more forcefully this time.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Tucker demands, stumbling back a few paces before he gives me a look.

Danny's teeth are gritted and he breathes out quietly before he attempts to sit up. I kneel beside him and his face flushes. He looks at me like he doesn't want my help but I take his hand and help him sit up anyway.

The quiet has fallen over the living room and I don't know which one of us should break it. It's Danny's shit, he should be the one to talk about it. He probably doesn't want them to know about this but… they know about the phantom stuff. So maybe it's a good thing if they know about this. There'll be someone else to look after him over the next couple of days when I'm not here.

Jazz looks between us, her eyebrows drawn down in concern. Tucker keeps shooting me 'what the hell' looks that I choose to ignore. I'm not usually an asshole like this. I don't know you but I will hurt you if you hurt him.

"What the fuck was that about?" Tucker asks, finally breaking the silence that settled over us.

Danny pushes out a breath, looking up at me. There's a pleading look in his eyes and I don't know what he's trying to tell me. Is he asking me to stay quiet? Tell the truth so he doesn't have to? These two know the truth. They should know about this too.

I draw in a breath, holding Danny's gaze despite the nervous feeling building in my gut. "Danny's… hurt."

"Dash," he mumbles softly, his stare dropping from my own. I follow his gaze down and realize that I'm still holding his hand and somehow, I've curled my other arm around his back. I didn't mean to look so protective over him but… I am. I always will be from now on.

Jazz moves from the couch, crawling on the floor over to us. "Hurt?" she questions, her eyebrows drawn down and her expression pinched. "Hurt… how?"

Danny flicks his gaze up to meet hers and lets out a heavy breath. "I'm fine, Jazz, really."

"He had to have stitches," I add, giving him an apologetic look when he glances at me with a glare. "Come on, isn't it better that someone else knows?"

He sighs, shaking his head before he pulls away from me. He glances up at Tucker and after a second of hesitation, the latter sinks down on the floor next to Danny. They share a look before Danny flicks his gaze toward Jazz again. "It's not that big of a deal, honestly. I'm okay."

I want to interrupt him, tell these two about how he was bleeding out in my car and I had to get my mom to stitch him up but… I don't want to relive that day. I've seen a lot of shit with my dad and what he's done to my mom but… I don't think I ever knew real terror until I was standing in mom's office, watching her stitch up the boy sitting in front of me.

"Can… we see?" Tucker asks.

Danny sighs but he leans back, tugging the hem of his shirt up high enough to show off the line of stitches. A few bruises have formed alongside it and I can tell where his stitches were ripped in the middle, the skin a little pinker there. He didn't really do a terrible job of fixing it but I still hate the thought of him fixing his own wounds. I wish he'd asked me to help him.

He meets my gaze, chewing on his bottom lip, and he starts when Jazz puts her hand on his stomach. His stare quickly shifts over to his sister and he pushes out a breath. "It… barely hurts now."

"Stop bullshitting," I grumble, scooting closer to him. He tosses me a glare in response and I choose to ignore it. I look up at Tucker and Jazz, risking another glare from Danny. "He almost bled out in the backseat of my car."

Jazz's eyes widen and Danny elbows me in the side. He scoffs when I look his way, his eyebrows drawing downward. He flicks his gaze back to his sister, shaking his head with a groan. "I'm fine, Jazz, seriously. Don't… don't listen to Dash."

She hesitates a second before she looks at me. "Dash, was it… really that bad?" she asks, her voice wavering in the middle. I want to be able to tell her no. That her brother didn't really get that close to bleeding out in the back of my Mitsubishi. That I didn't have to fly through every red light on my way to Dryden and that my mom didn't have to stitch him closed. But it's the truth and I'm a shit liar.

"Yeah," I respond looking at Danny when he elbows me again. "What? You want to me lie?"

Danny grumbles, mumbling something about how he'd prefer it if I lied but Jazz interrupts him. She keeps her stare on her brother as she talks, but it's clear the question is meant for me. "What happened?"

I drag in a breath that shakes and it causes her gaze to shift to me. I consider how much to tell her, how much should just stay between me and Danny. I don't want to lie to her but I don't think telling the whole truth is gonna help either.

"He… told me he'd been shot. That's the only explanation I got," I mumble, glancing toward Danny. He responds with a glare that softens after a few seconds.

Danny exhales out, moving his hand to place over top of mine. "I'm fine," he says, flicking his stare to Jazz. He shrugs, his hand tightening on mine. "It's just… I ran into some trouble while I was practicing…"

Jazz gives him a look and he ducks his head. I only hesitate a second longer before I flip my hand over and thread my fingers between his. He responds by squeezing my hand tighter, barely glancing my way before he's addressing his sister again.

"Everything's fine now, okay?" he mumbles.

There's a split second of tension in the air, where he draws in a breath like he wants to say more but something is stopping him. He lets out the breath, chewing on the inside of his cheek and he won't look at any of us.

I let him have a few seconds before I tug gently on his hand. "What is it?"

Danny meets my gaze and I'm surprised by the fear I can see in his expression. He captures his bottom lip between his teeth and once again, it doesn't distract me the way it usually does. Cause he's fucking terrified and I can't tell what he's thinking.

"There's… something else," he mumbles, glancing between Tucker and Jazz. They're both wearing similar expressions of concern but he doesn't let it stop him, drawing in a deep breath before he continues. "Whatever I was shot with wasn't… exactly a bullet."

He nervously chews on his bottom lip, tugging his hand from mine to run it through his hair. "I don't know what it was really but… th-there was something else left in the wound. Dash's m- uhh…" he shoots an apologetic look toward me. "I-I dug it out and it's kind of got me worried…"

"What was it?" Tucker asks, crowded around him the same way Jazz and I are. His eyebrows are drawn down in concern and I wonder how much he knows about this phantom stuff. Do I know more than his friends cause I'm around him more often now? Or do I only know part of all this shit while they know everything?

He expels out a breath. "I have it in my room." He leans forward like he's gonna stand and I grab his wrist before he can.

"Let me," I tell him and the blush that spreads across his face is so pretty, I'm almost able to forget how fucked up this situation is. And I called Kwan a thirsty fucker…

Danny drops his gaze from mine but he quietly mumbles that he put it in the top drawer of his dresser, under a few shirts. As soon as I'm given the directions, I tell him I'll be back with it and I quickly leave the room.

I hope to whatever god is listening that I don't run across either of the Fenton parents on my way up the stairs. For once, someone's listening to me and I don't bump into anyone. I make it into Danny's room easily and I push the door almost closed behind me before I cross over to his dresser.

He was probably trying to make sure his parents wouldn't see it but it takes me twice as long as it should to find it. My hand finally closes around the tube mom gave me and I study the tiny square through the plastic of the bottle for a few seconds, exhaling out quietly before I leave his room and start down the stairs again. I stop just outside the entryway to the living room when I catch my name quietly mumbled under Danny's breath.

"Yeah, his… mom helped. She sewed my wounds closed and got a hotel room for us so I could sleep for a couple hours afterward," Danny mumbles. "She had to give me some morphine though so I've been exhausted these past few days."

"Days?" Tucker's voice has a tone of anger to it and I can't say that I blame him. If Danny was secretly dealing with shit, I'd probably get pissed off too. Not that he has to tell me everything but after all the shit we've been through together… I think I'd care if he didn't tell me. "What do you mean days, Danny? Tell me this shit didn't just happen."

I strain to catch Danny's response and a few long seconds of silence pass before he sighs.

"Look, I was gonna tell you later, once Dash leaves but… he beat me to it," he says, groaning loudly. "Alright, I get it. But what was I supposed to do? Send you a casual text 'hey by the way the government agents my parents work for just shot at me'?"

Government agents… his parents work for?

"There's… something else too," Danny mumbles, a breath tumbling from him. "When she was stitching me up, sh-she tugged this thing from me and I… i-it made me scream and it was like I couldn't stop screaming. Dash was holding me, t-trying to get me to calm down but god, I was starting to panic. And… guys… my screams have gotten worse… I-I made his ears bleed."

Silence crashes across the three of them and I lean closer to the entryway, straining to hear anything anyone responds with. Other than Tucker's quietly mumbled, 'fuck', neither of the other two know what to say.

I almost give up and come into the living room but Jazz clears her throat before I get the nerve. "Danny… are you sure telling Dash was a good idea?"

My heart stops at the silence that follows and I hope that Danny doesn't regret letting me in on this. I'm gonna help him from here on out and do everything I can to make sure he's never hurt by anyone again.

"He just saved my life, Jazz. If I hadn't trusted him with this shit, we wouldn't be having this conversation," Danny responds, some level of annoyance in his words. Relief floods through me when I realize that he doesn't regret telling me.

Tucker exhales quietly. "Yeah but… you said he talked to his mom and you have no idea what he told her. You sure that he like… didn't tell her everything?"

"It doesn't matter if he did," Danny responds almost instantly. "Besides… I trust him, Tuck."

My heart soars for about three seconds before Tucker interrupts with a scoff. I hate how easily he dismisses Danny's faith in me while I'm still fucking elated over it.

"Yeah, well. He gets a point for saving your life but if he can tell his mom this shit so easily, who else is he gonna spill this to?" Tucker asks, talking over Danny when he starts to argue. "I'm just saying. It's not that I don't want to trust the guy but you gotta agree that he's-"

I don't want to hear what else he has to say. Danny's friends can think whatever the fuck they want about me but they weren't there when he was bleeding out in my backseat and I didn't know how to save him. I did what I could to keep him alive and if that's not enough… I don't know what else I have to do to earn their fucking trust.

Danny looks up when I step inside and I wordlessly hold the tube out toward him, hoping my thoughts aren't written across my face. He takes it and mumbles a soft, 'thank you' in response. His voice probably shouldn't dislodge the anger settled around my chest as easily as it does.

"I don't know what it is," he mutters, turning the tube over and over in his hands as he studies what's inside. "I'm hoping you'll know cause I looked up some stuff online but… I don't want to jump to a conclusion," Danny says, passing the tube over to Tucker.

Tucker glances at it for a second before he uncaps the tube and shakes the square into his palm. He squints at the object a couple of times, gently poking it a few times before he exhales out heavily, glancing up at Danny.

"When did all this happen again?" he asks, his voice laced with brewing anger.

Danny lets out a low breath, dropping his stare. He shakes his head, darting his gaze away from all of us. "Monday," he mutters, running a hand through his hair.

Tucker scoffs, shaking his head when Danny finally looks at him again. "Monday. You've had this in your room since Monday and didn't tell me until now?"

Danny drags in a careful breath. "Yeah, so?"

"You're so fucking careless," Tucker mutters under his breath, sliding the square back into the tube and replacing the cap again. He swaps it from hand to hand for a second before he looks up to meet Danny's gaze. "I'm pretty sure this is some kind of tracking chip. Possibly with recording capabilities, I don't know."

It takes the three of us a few seconds of silence before Tucker's words really sink in. Tracking… chip? Someone wants to track Danny? Those… government agents want to… track him? Why?

"Fuck," Danny exhales out, jerking his fingers through his hair. His hands are shaky with the movement and I ache to reach for him. I want to take his hand in my own and place gentle kisses against his skin until he's not shaking anymore. But I don't think my touch is gonna fix it this time.

Tucker exhales out an irritated sigh. "There's no telling how much information they've already gotten from you just cause of this." He glances toward me for a second or two, his eyebrows drawing down before he looks at Danny again. I try not to let his look fuck with me but I don't understand it. What did I do to him that was apparently so fucking horrible?

"I can look over this a little while I'm here but I'll probably be able to tell you more once I'm back at school and I have my monster computer," Tucker says, jerking his thumb behind him. "I'll go upstairs and start scanning this thing as best I can." His gaze drifts toward me for a second and I try not to read too much into it, before he looks back at Danny. "You want to come up with me?"

Danny chews on his bottom lip before he slowly nods. I want to help him to his feet but I don't. Partly cause I don't want to embarrass him but also cause I know Tucker's watching us. I can only imagine what he'd say about me if I insist on helping Danny up.

Tucker jumps to his feet and extends a hand down to his friend, poking at the jealous creature resting on my heart-strings, playing me like a fucking violin as I watch them leave the room together. I keep my stare trained on where they disappeared, trying to stop myself from going after them. Cause I don't want Tucker trying to convince Danny not to tell me this shit anymore.

I'm so focused on staring at the exit that I don't see the pillow Jazz chucks at me until it collides with my shoulder. I shift my gaze to her and she offers up a grin.

"Relax, would you?" she asks. After a second of hesitation, she gets up from in front of the sofa and crosses over to a bookshelf against one wall. She hums softly to herself before she slides a couple of books from a stack.

Jazz moves back to the couch and collapses into the cushion with a sigh. She props the books on her lap and pats the seat next to her. "Come here." I must hesitate too long cause she squints her eyes and grabs another pillow. "Don't make me hurl this one at your face."

That gets a begrudging laugh from me and I get to my feet, crossing over to her and sinking down on the sofa. She waits until I'm sitting before she puts the rest of the books in the floor and opens the first one, propping it on our laps.

After a split second, I realize they're not actually books, they're photo-albums. And they're completely filled with one picture after another of fucking adorable baby and toddler Danny.

Jazz grins at the noise that unfortunately escapes me and she nudges my shoulder with hers. "He was so cute as a kid. All bright eyes and wild hair… though that last part hasn't really changed," she says with a laugh, pointing to a photo of little Danny outside, clutching a plastic baseball bat in his chubby hands, a look of determination on his face. God, he's so fucking adorable. Why is she torturing me like this?

We flip through the albums filled with younger Danny relatively quickly and then she brings out the ones from his freshman year of high school until now. There are a lot of photos of Jazz and Danny but there's a ton with Tucker and that girl they hung around, Sam.

Something about the earlier photos bugs me the further we go in and I end up flipping back a few pages once we've reached his sophomore year. After a few seconds of glancing between two similar photos, it hits me how skinny he is. He's even smaller now but even just looking at the difference between his freshman and sophomore year is weird as fuck.

"Danny… lost a lot of weight after the accident," Jazz says softly. She's quiet as she runs a finger down one of the photos and I wonder how different he was before. How much has really changed with him? What else is different other than the new abilities and the dramatic weight loss?

Jazz sighs as she turns the page and we're faced with a lot of blank spots where photos were removed. The cheesy captions that usually go along with every photo have been completely scratched through and Jazz doesn't offer an explanation before she flips the page.

The next two are similar but they have a couple of photos dotting the page. One of the first ones I see is Danny with his arms slung around his friends, a wide grin stretched across his face and… a black eye.

I glance at Jazz for a second and she exhales out, shaking her head. Danny's bruised here… almost like he was at the beach. He told me that during his sophomore year, he was dating that abusive ex-boyfriend… and the sight of it fucks with me more than it should.

Jazz is nervously chewing on her lip when I slowly turn the page and immediately zero in on the next photo where he's bruised, a few dotted along his jawline. He said his family didn't know what was going on at first but… I don't understand how. The evidence is clearly here on his face.

"T-Tucker's in a lot of these photos," Jazz comments softly when I flip the page. "They've been inseparable since they were kids."

I nod, my gaze not lingering on Tucker. I'm focused on Danny again, several dark bruises on his upper arms. It's hard to tell from the tiny photo that's stuck into the album but one of them looks almost like it's in the shape of a handprint. It makes my heart ache looking at it cause I can picture Danny terrified. I can hear the panic in his voice as he tries to talk his way out of another stupid argument and I want to fucking kill whoever made him that afraid.

"Jazz," Danny calls out and I glance toward the sound. He's lingering in the doorway, staring at the two of us with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyebrows are drawn down when I look up at him and I can almost feel the anger radiating from him with every step he takes toward the sofa.

He glances from his sister down to the album spread open on my lap. He yanks it away from me and snaps it closed with one hand, giving his sister a look. She almost shrinks under his gaze and he tosses the album across the living room where it clatters to the floor with loud noise.

Danny tugs a different album from the stack and drops it onto Jazz's lap. "Here. Look at this one," he says, plopping down on the cushion next to me. He slouches down further, sinking back into the sofa, as he crams the remainder of a cookie into his mouth, barely glancing his sister's way as he mumbles. "Mom and dad made cookies, by the way."

Jazz silently opens the album and I glance down at it even though I've already seen all the photos in that one. It's filled with his baby photos, only going up to when he was about three or four. Even though he's fucking adorable, I was more interested in the ones when he was older.

"Y-Y'know… most people would rather show photos when they're a little older instead of baby photos…" I mumble, trailing off in the hopes that he brings up the bruises so I don't have to.

Danny won't even look at me as he shrugs, delicately licking a few crumbs from his fingertips. I guess he's not gonna bring up that shit right now. I can't really blame him but… god, I want to help him. Cause I know what it's like to keep that ugly shit a secret and feel like no one understands your pain. I understand, Danny. Let me in. I know it's fucking hard but please… let me in.


An awkward silence settles over the three of us and it doesn't really go away even after Tucker returns to the living room. He didn't have a whole lot of luck with the chip so he says he's gonna look at it when he's home again. Which doesn't make for a long conversation and we're immediately plunged back into an awkward silence.

I'm so fucking grateful when we're interrupted by Danny's mom, who announces that the pies are done and we can have a slice if we want. Tucker and Jazz practically vault over the couch to get to the dining room but Danny's slower to follow and I keep pace with him. Better for his parents to think we're involved in a conversation, even though it's dead quiet between us, instead of questioning why their kid is walking like a zombie.

Danny's parents join the four of us at the table, dishing out slices of pie. The conversation easily flows and after a few minutes, I find myself relaxing into it. Occasionally, Tucker or Jazz will hesitantly glance in Danny's direction and I guess they're wondering how he's doing. Not that I blame them… I'm sitting next to him and I still look at him every few minutes.

Jack broaches the subject of college and asks if I've applied anywhere yet. It takes Danny's hand brushing against my knee beneath the table to break the awkward silence I accidentally slipped into. I'm hesitant but his touch convinces me to talk about the scholarship opportunities that continue to come in for me. Since the championship game, I've gotten a total of nineteen colleges interested in me. Coach said that most of them want to meet me in person and he's setting up for me to go to three of them over winter break.

I start pretty fucking hesitantly but eventually, I'm spilling my guts about the colleges. I don't give more than a few names but Jack's impressed by the ones I do mention. Even Danny looks proud, smiling at me when he nudges my knee with his hand again.

The conversation moves on and Tucker complains again about his college assignments. Mrs. Fenton takes interest in what he's saying and the two of them start discussing the subjects he's taking.

I zone out at some point, watching the attention Mrs. Fenton listens to her kids with, the way Jazz interacts with her parents, and the soft way Jack speaks whenever his words are directed at Danny. The four of them make such a family, I can't help but feel the pangs of jealousy clawing at me. I've never had this kind of interaction with anyone. Even when mom was here, it was never like this between us. Maybe we were too busy nursing our bruises and taking care of each other to have this kind of carefree atmosphere between us but… fuck, I feel like I was robbed of something I never even knew was supposed to be mine.

Time moves so much faster when I'm around people I actually give a shit about but it doesn't last for long. We've only been crowded around the table for about an hour when my phone starts ringing.

"Sorry," I mumble when Jack looks at me as I tug my phone from my pocket. He shakes his head like it isn't a big deal and I glance down at the screen. Dad's name flashes back at me and I swallow hard before I look up with a forced smile. "Uh… I should probably take this. I'll be right back."

I excuse myself from the table and Danny gives me a concerned look before I manage to slip from the room. I cross through the foyer before I answer the call and press my phone against my ear. "H-Hello?" I onehandedly tug the front door open and step out onto the porch. The evening has gotten even colder and a shiver runs through me as I pull the door closed behind me.

"Hey, where are you? I sent Chuck to the house to get you and he said your car isn't there," dad says. He only pauses for a split second before he continues without waiting for a response. "Can you meet me at the station?"

I want to tell him no. I want to end this call and go back inside with the Fenton's. Cause it's warm inside and I'm only getting colder the longer I'm away from them. They're a real family and my pathetic, stupid heart can barely recognize what that's supposed to look like. I want to blow him off and stay with Danny until this coldness seeping into my bones is no longer a part of me but… it's dad.

I chew nervously on my thumb nail as I cross the porch over to the railing. I lean against it, thinking over what dad's asking of me. I don't want to leave the Fenton's yet but I don't want to overstay my welcome either. "Uh… maybe. Why?"

Dad lets out a breath, speaking to someone else but I don't hear what he says. His voice comes back on the line, a hint of amusement to his tone now. "Because I want to see you. I know I'm working but it's still a holiday. There's a lot of downtime here."

A groan tumbles from me as I pinch the bridge of my nose between my index finger and thumb. I don't want to see him right now but he's my dad. And the Fenton's will get sick of me soon and I'd rather leave before that happens. "Okay, yeah. I'm a little far away right now but uh… I'll come by soon. Might take me a while to get there, though."

"Sure, no problem. I'll let Clara know to watch for you, she's working the desk today. I'll see you soon though, okay, buddy?" dad asks and I almost groan again at the way he's talking. He's trying again. Maybe he's just trying to be nice cause it's a holiday or maybe he's trying to fix this shit between us again but either way, it stings. I don't even know if I want to fix things between us anymore.

"Y-Yeah, dad. I'll see you soon," I manage to mumble before I end the call. I stare down at my phone for a few long minutes of silence before the cold really does get to me and I shuffle over to the front door. The warmth instantly welcomes me back in again and with the way the cold keeps ringing in my bones, I feel more out of place than I have since I showed up.

The conversation is still going pretty strong when I start for the dining room. I hesitate in the hall just outside the room and have to mentally prepare myself before stepping inside again.

Everyone is involved in some kind of debate but they're all wearing grins so I assume it's a good kind of debate. Danny turns to look at me when I step further into the room and he offers up a hesitant smile, watching as I take a few steps toward him. "Hey… good call?" he asks, a hint of concern poorly concealed behind his smile.

I can't help the smile that tugs at my mouth at his worry over me. I don't get a chance to respond to him before Jack takes notice of me.

"Everything alright?" he asks, offering up a smile that holds a little of the same concern that Danny's smile does. The other three at the table hear the tone of his voice and they all turn to look at me at once.

The words stick in my throat and that nervous feeling stabs at my gut again. I want to slink back into my seat, say everything's fine, and forget about my dad for the next couple of hours. But it's not Danny or his family's responsibility to help me through this shit. And I don't want to hide out from dad.

"Y-Yeah… everything's fine," I mumble, jerking my thumb toward the hall. "That was my dad so… I gotta get going." I glance around the table, forcing a smile as I look between Mrs. Fenton and her husband. "Today's been… it's been great, thank you for having me."

Jack rises from the table and takes a few steps toward me before he places a hand on my shoulder. "It was good to have you here, son. My children seem very taken by you and I'm glad I've finally had the pleasure of seeing why," he says, giving me a bright smile.

I don't know what to say in response and I'm frozen with a stupid, half-ass smile on my face. Thankfully, he doesn't seem to be waiting for a response. He drops his hand from my shoulder and barely turns to glance back at the table before he's facing me again.

"Can you spare a few more minutes? There's something I'd like you to see."

Danny pushes away from the table, his chair scraping along the floor with the movement. He nervously fiddles with the cuffs of his sleeves, looking between the two of us. "D-Dad… h-he probably just wants to go home. I'm sure he's got other things to do."

Jack hesitates a second before he reaches out and squeezes Danny's shoulder. Something passes between them that I don't understand as they stare at each other. After a few seconds of silence, Danny silently nods and drops his gaze. He doesn't look at anyone as he leaves the room and I watch him go for as long as I can until Jack turns back to me.

I'm met with another smile and Jack exhales out a breath. "I won't take up too much of your time, I promise. Can I show you something?"

I glance toward where Danny disappeared to, wondering what the fuck just happened. I want to go after him instead but Jack's still looking expectantly at me and I give him a nod. I follow him out of the kitchen and I slow down when we start to pass the living room. Danny's curled up on one end of the sofa, that photo album he threw earlier open on his lap.

"It's through here," Jack calls to me, earning my attention. I only look at him for a second or two before I toss a final glance in the living room.

Danny's looked up from the album and has turned a little toward me, a worried expression on his face. I only hold his gaze for a few seconds before I'm following after Jack, nerves eating away at me with every step we take.

Jack leads me through a hallway and down a set of a stairs. He hesitates at the foot of the stairs for a second or two before he crosses the room in a few strides. I'm still on the last few steps and I take a glance around the room as soon as he turns the light on.

Stacks of papers and folders are left in piles on almost every surface of the room. Two desks are against one wall, both looking like they've seen better days. One chair is pushed away from the desk like whoever was sitting in it left in a hurry. Various beakers are spread across the top of the desk – each one of them filled with a varying amount of colored liquid.

I stop at the bottom of the stairs and sweep my gaze around the room again, staring at a giant hole in one wall. Something is dangling down from the top of the hole and when I take a step away from the stairs, I realize that it's some kind of wire. And that it's less of a hole and more like… some kind of tunnel?

"This is the lab my wife and I do most of our work in. I should probably have cleaned up a little bit," Jack says with a laugh, giving me a smile when I turn around to look at him. "How much has Danny told you about our work?"

"N-Not a lot, sir," I stumble over my words, palming the back of my neck as I think it over. The conversation I overheard earlier is playing in my head. The one where Tucker said something about government agents and that Danny's parents work for them. "I uh… I know that you… work for the government?"

Jack nods and gives me a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. "That's right. We haven't always but… for now, we are."

His gaze drifts toward the gaping hole on the wall and he lets out a breath, taking a few steps toward it. "This was our greatest invention ever. Almost twentyyears of research and trial and error went into creating this machine. We worked hard days and long nights to see this thing come to life and finally. We managed to build it. Almost four years ago, my wife and I created this."

Jack has a faraway look in his eyes when I come to stand next to him. I watch his expression for a few seconds before I turn my gaze to the… machine in front of us. Twentyyears of research went into this thing? What the hell even is it?

"Since college, we've been working on creating a portal from our world into the world that belongs to the ecto-entities we've spent our lives studying," Jack says, glancing at me. "Or ghosts as my son calls them." He lets out a small laugh before he looks back at the machine with a shake of his head.

I swallow past the lump quickly growing in my throat as I realize exactly what the hell this thing is. This is what fucked Danny up. The thing that made him the way he is now. Made him able to do the things he can do and made people fucking chase after him and shoot at him. This is where it all started.

Jack lets out a heavy breath. "When… Danny was fourteen… he was down here with Tucker and another friend of his," he says, his expression darkening with every word he speaks. "He was explaining things about this portal. And he got too close to it… ended up getting hurt."

He drops his head, running a hand through his hair and that same pain I've seen in Danny, I see in Jack now. This pain is different from his son's. It's quieter, hidden better. Because Danny's pain is just his own but Jack's isn't only for himself, it's also for his son. For the things this family's been through. For everything they lost the day of Danny's accident.

"We rushed him to the hospital and the doctors and nurses fought hard to stabilize him… but they weren't getting any brain activity. For three days straight, a team of doctors worked on him, trying everything they could to keep my son b-breathing," Jack's voice hitches and the sound makes the lump in my throat grow.

If this was Danny talking, I'd put my arm around him or reach to hold his hand. But this is his father and I don't know how I'm supposed to console him – if I'm even supposed to. If it was me talking about my shit, I'd want to just stand there stoically and not cry but… truth is, I probably wouldn't be as pulled together as Jack somehow still is.

"It was… touch and go for a long time there but at the end, I was able to see Danny's smiling face again." He sniffles loudly and in the silence, it's startling. I thought adults were supposed to be better at talking about this kind of stuff but… maybe it's different when it's your kid.

Jack runs a hand down his face, letting out a pent-up breath. His gaze flits around the lab before he looks back at me with a smile that's definitely forced. He nods toward something behind me. "Come here, I want to show you something."

He leads me over to a small table where a row of beakers are set up. He nudges them aside to get to a framed photo propped up against a beaker half-full of green liquid. He stares down at the picture for a few long moments, finally letting out a breath as he hands it over.

I immediately drop my gaze to the photo, grateful to have something else to look at. The picture is of Jack, standing with Danny in front of a ferris wheel, and the only reason I can tell it's from a couple years back is that Danny actually looks like he has some meat on his bones and he doesn't have a carefully hidden terrified look staining his expression. He… actually looks happy.

"This was taken two weeks before his accident… I'm sure you don't need me to point out how different he looks now," Jack says with a soft breath.

I swallow hard, passing the frame back to him as I nod. "Yeah…" I don't know what else to say and everything I'm thinking of is tied up with what Danny told me about his powers… he said his parents don't know anything. I don't want to slip up and have to come up with some kind of lie to cover for him.

Jack looks over the picture again for a few more seconds before he puts it back. He traces the frame with one finger and exhales out before looking at me with another smile. "I just wanted to show you that Danny's… been through a lot."

"I-I know," I mumble. Fuck, I know more about what Danny's been through than his own parents do. I was the one there to help hold him the fuck together when he opened up about phantom and he called me when he was bleeding out on Monday.

Jack suddenly leans over to put a hand on my shoulder. "I know how important you are to Danny and I appreciate how careful you're being with him. I can only assume that he's opened up to you about some of the things he's been through. I don't know how much he's told you but I'm glad to see that he trusts you. It hasn't always been easy for him to open up but… I know he cares about you."

I drop my gaze, nodding as I inwardly tell the butterflies to fuck off. I can't fucking blush in front of Danny's dad while we're talking about him. "Y-Yeah… he uhh… yeah."

The quiet only lasts for a second before Jack squeezes my shoulder. "I mean it. My son doesn't exactly… talk to a lot of people. Even online, I think he has a grand total of one friend. The fact that he invited you today says a lot about how much you mean to him."

Fuck you, butterflies.

I awkwardly smile despite the blush I can feel creeping across my face. I drop my gaze, too afraid to see the look on Jack's face when he sees me blushing cause I'm thinking about his fucking son. Or more accurately: fucking his son. Shit, don't go there.

After a few seconds of making sure I'm not about to spontaneously fucking combust, I look up at Jack with a genuine smile. "Danny means a lot to me too. And… I'm really glad he invited me today."

"Good," Jack claps me on the shoulder before stepping back from me. "You're always welcome here. Any friend of Danny's is welcome under my roof."

I can't stop the grin from spreading across my face at his words. I really fucking like Jack. No wonder Danny speaks so highly of him. He's an incredibly kind person and the gentle way he treats Danny lets me know that he means every word he just said.

It's so quiet between us that I start a little when my phone vibrates in my pocket.

From: Dad

Drive safe, kiddo

That text message brings the lump back in my throat for an entirely different reason and I stare down at his words on my screen for longer than I should. Eventually, I look back up at Jack, letting out a soft breath. "Th-That was my dad… I should… head out."

Jack nods, smiling as he steps back to let me pass by him. I only get about two steps away from him when he calls my name. I turn back instantly and that smile disappears from his face.

"You should know that if that ever changes… if you stop caring about Danny... you better let him down easy," Jack says, taking a step toward me, his expression unreadable. "I picked up the broken pieces of my son once, don't let yourself become the reason that I have to do it again."

I'm sure my mouth is hanging open as I stare at Jack, completely unsure of what to say in the silence. His eyebrows draw down as he watches me and after a few seconds, he gives up on getting a response.

"I like you, son. I like the way you get Danny out of his head. When he's focused on you, he's not retreating inside himself again and I can't even begin to thank you enough for that. But… if you ever hurt him, you'll have me to answer to, you understand that? And I can promise you, I won't be letting you down easy at all," Jack says, somehow managing to look both protective and menacing as fuck. Holy shit, note to self. Never piss Jack Fenton off.

"I-I… don't want to hurt him," I say, keeping myself from stuttering more than once. It's the truth, I'll never hurt Danny. Even if I never get to hold his hand and tell him that he's beautiful and place gentle kisses along his fading bruises… I could never hurt him.

Jack stares me down for a few, long seconds before he seems to accept my words. He reaches over to pat me on the shoulder again before he steps back to let me go. I only hesitate for a second before I'm walking across the lab to the stairs, trying really hard not to fucking sprint across the room. Cause I'm still processing everything he just said. Despite the fact that he essentially told me that he'll kill me if I hurt Danny… he also told me that I'm really fucking important to Danny. And my pathetic, love-sick heart decides to focus on only that as I climb the stairs out of the lab.


I'm followed up the stairs by Jack and a round of goodbye's are exchanged. Jazz hugs me tightly and softly thanks me for watching out for Danny. She pulls away from me with a smile that holds every ounce of concern I feel when she glances toward her brother.

Tucker seems hesitant at first but he holds his fist out for another bump. I meet the gesture before Jack extends his hand toward me. Mrs. Fenton surprises me by shaking my hand with an actual smile on her face, that look of annoyance I've always seen her with is gone in this moment and I weakly shake her hand back.

Danny looks up at me and he hesitates a second before he takes a step toward me and gently pulls me into a hug. I'm careful with the way I hold him cause I know he's still in pain and cause his parents are right-fucking-there… It's not like I could subtly bury my face in his hair so I could memorize the way he smells. I'm sure Mrs. Fenton would keel over.

I don't want to go but as soon as I leave Danny's arms I force a smile and thank them again for having me over. I tug open the front door and step out onto the porch, smiling as Jack calls, "Take care!" after me.

The door closes and I push out a breath, looking out at the front yard. The football we played with earlier is abandoned on the grass and the sight of it reminds me of Danny ripping a stitch out. He's gonna kill me with how fucking hard it is to watch him in pain. With a sigh, I start down the stairs but I only get to the bottom before the door opens behind me.

Danny steps out onto the front porch, my jacket in his hand, and offers up a tired smile. He looks like he wants to descend the staircase but decides against it, tossing my jacket down to me before he leans against one of the columns at the top instead. "Hey," he says, his voice soft.

I can't help the smile that immediately appears on my face and though I want to take the stairs up to him, I only step onto the last stair, shrugging my jacket on. I lean against the railing, giving him what I'm sure is a fucking dopey smile but Danny doesn't seem to care.

"I'm really glad you decided to come today. Even though… I know my parents can be insane sometimes but… they mean well," he says, offering up a shrug. He glances back toward his house, shaking his head.

I watch him chew on his bottom lip for as long as I can handle it before I let out a breath, running my fingers through my hair. "They weren't… that bad." Well… his mom was. His dad was cool though. Even with the vague threat he made in the lab.

Danny gives me a look. "You don't have to lie. I live with them, okay? I know what spiel my dad probably fed you and I know that despite how well today went, my mom still won't trust you for a while. And no matter how-" He stops suddenly, letting out a soft groan. He shakes his head, giving me an apologetic look. "Sorry…"

"It's fine," I shrug, glancing back toward his house. "She seems like she hates me to be honest."

He nods, dropping his gaze from me. "Yeah… I'm sorry." He gives me a sympathetic smile before he looks away again. I watch him start to retreat in on himself for only a moment before I step up to the second stare, swallowing hard when he looks at me.

"Earlier… you got kinda… um… wh-when Jazz and I were looking at the photos," I mumble, knowing I'm doing a really shit job at trying to explain what the fuck I'm asking about. "You got… really upset about it."

Some kind of darkness takes over Danny's expression and he pushes out a breath. He folds his arms across his chest before he responds. "I didn't want you to see that shit. And Jazz should have known better than to drag that album out."

The breath sticks in my throat and I try to convince myself to just leave it there. To let that small explanation be enough but I'm so fucking selfish, I can never let anything go.

"You know… it wasn't that big of a deal," I mumble with a half-assed shrug. "You didn't like… look bad or anything in the photos. I know… what happened when you were a sophomore, with… your ex-boyfriend and everything. I hope you know that you don't have to… hide that part of yourself away."

Darkness isn't an accurate word for the look on Danny's face anymore. Darkness is far too light to describe the way his eyebrows draw down and all hint of light drains from his face and eyes, leaving behind someone so raw and so filled with anger, it holds his frame together.

"That was the lowest point of my life, Dash. I never want anyone to see anything from that shit year." His arms fold over his chest like he wants to protect himself from whatever judgement I might pass but… I'm not gonna judge him for anything.

I try to find the words to tell him that it's gonna be okay but they stick in my throat and refuse to spill from my tongue. I end up opening and closing my mouth half a dozen times before I suck in a breath and force myself to say something. "I'm sorry, I-"

"I tried to kill myself that year."

Danny arches an eyebrow at the look on my face and for a few seconds, all we do is stare back at each other. I can't even form a coherent thought about what the fuck he just told me as I stare up at his face, still so devoid of emotion.

He lets out a hollow laugh, shoving away from the column and taking a step down toward me. "I was in the psych ward for three weeks after and once I was finally out of there, my parents were advised to find me a therapist. Which they did." He lets out a breath, shaking his head. "These past two years have been so fucked-up and I never wanted you to see that."

I don't know what to say. I don't know what the fuck to say. He's listened to me bitch about my dad, about my mom, about my stupid fucking algebra, and he's been dealing with this. How the fuck does he put up with someone like me?

"I-I'm sorry," I blurt out, unable to stop myself. I want to say that I'm not just sorry for the shitty hand he's been dealt but that I'm sorry for me too. I'm sorry for being another thing that weighs on his mind. I'm sorry for adding any kind of stress or tension to him simply cause I can't stop myself from bitching around anyone that'll listen.

Danny shakes his head, descending the last stair between us. He's still one above me and he takes the height to his advantage, placing his hands on my shoulders. I hold his gaze even as he bites on his lip but a breath leaves me when he slowly drags his teeth over his lip.

"I don't want… what I just told you to change anything. Us, this… friendship… nothing can change because of this. Promise me… that nothing's gonna change." Danny stares down at me, trepidation in every line on his face, and I don't know how I could ever say no to him.

I take his wrist gently in my hand and guide his hand forward until his palm is resting against my chest. My heart's pounding like crazy because of him but I have to show him somehow that he still means everything to me, regardless of the shit he just told me.

"Nothing's going to change," I tell him, my words drawing out a hesitant expression on Danny's face. I take his hand in my own again and drag it away from my chest, squeezing his hand gently. Some unknown bravery flares alive in my chest and I lift Danny's hand to my mouth before I can stop myself. I brush my lips against his knuckles the way he did to mine in the backseat of Tatiana's car.

Danny's eyes have widened a little and he lets out a soft breath when I repeat that nothing's going to change. Cause it isn't. I won't let it.

A faint blush is staining his cheeks and this small, asshole part of my heart leaps – trying to convince me that his face is flushed because of the kiss and not because he's embarrassed. But he is embarrassed. Cause I know more about him than he probably ever planned on telling me.

He nods, dropping his gaze to our intertwined hands. "Thank you," he mutters softly, glancing up at me. We hold each other's stare for only a few moments before I recognize the want for contact on his face and I easily pull him against my chest.

Danny exhales out a shaky breath, sliding his arms around my back and curling his hands around my jacket. "Did your dad… really call you?" he asks, and I feel every second of hesitation in between his words. "You c-could stay… for a while, y'know."

I draw in a breath, resting my chin on the top of his head as I turn my gaze to the sky. I'd love to stay with Danny and his family and just never let this day end. But this is his family and even though I know he doesn't mind me hanging around, I want him to have some time with just them.

"I know. But I need to go see him," I mumble, barely managing to keep myself from kissing his hair. I got away with it in the hotel after mom managed to stitch him up but I don't think he'd let it go this time. He'd ask why and I'd have to tell him that I've completely fallen for him.

Danny makes a face when he pulls away from me. "You don't have to see him…" He groans softly when I shrug and he takes a step back. "At least… text me when you're done?"

That asshole part of my heart jumps at the concern in his tone and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning. He's concerned cause he knows my shit, Jesus Christ, chill out.

"Yeah… I'll text you," I mumble, running a hand through my hair before I take a step backward too. One corner of his mouth lifts and I return the almost-smile before I climb down the stairs and start for my car. I don't want to leave Danny but I can't hang around him all day. He's got his shit to do and I've got mine. I guess it's just nice to know that at the end of the day, he's as concerned about me as I am him. Other people have asked me to text them once I'm home but Danny makes it feel like the first time anyone's cared about me this much. And I could get used to the way his concern rolls over me like a warmth no winter could ever freeze out.


A/N:

Yoo! Happy early New Years, everybody!

Man, it's crazy to think it's been almost two years since I started writing this fic. I still love it and even though it takes a while to edit each chapter, the process is worth the results. I'm happy with the way this chapter turned out and I hope all of you like it as well

So… after the angst that was 61, all of these characters definitely deserved a break. So you get fluffy Thanksgiving goodness to help you get through that. If you still don't hate me for the hell I've been putting these characters through… well… you will

By the way... what do you think of Jack's conversation with Dash in the lab? I'd love to hear your thoughts about that tbh. It was one of the scenes I had the most fun with throughout the entirety of writing this fic so far

To everyone that was guessing it after last chapter, you have your answer. That thing Dash's mom pulled out of Danny is in fact, a tracker! Kudos to those of you who guessed it, I was actually surprised most of you thought it might be that. I guess that wasn't as subtle as I thought it was haha!

The inspiration for this chapter's title comes from Roses by Shawn Mendes. If that's not a fucking Stay song, I don't know what is. Seriously, it's so Dash's thoughts toward Danny

Anyway, I'd love to hear any thoughts you have about this update – it's been a long time coming and I'm happy that it's finally out there for everyone to read! So please let me know either in the reviews/comments or over in my tumblr inbox!

Thanks for reading this story, everyone, and I hope you've all had a great break from school or work or what have you. Here's to a brand new year of this fic!