I park my Mitsubishi in the empty space beside dad's car and kill the engine. A soft breath leaves me in the silence and I inwardly prepare myself for whatever the hell he's called me here for. I lean back in my seat, looking out at dad's car.

His police cruiser's only got a couple of years on it but it's got more wear and tear than my ride. Maybe it's cause he spends his time chasing after people in his car but still. He doesn't take care of it the way I do mine.

I only let myself stall for a few minutes before I get out of my car and start into the station. Clara greets me as soon as I walk inside and she tells me that dad's in his office waiting for me. I don't know why but the way she says it put me on edge. I nervously chew on my fingernails on my way down the hall and quietly knock on his door when I stop outside his office.

"Come in," dad calls from the other side and I drag in a shaky breath before I twist the handle.

Dad gives me a broad smile when he sees me and he rises from his desk. "Hey, kiddo," he says, beckoning me forward with a wave of his hand. "Come here, I got take-out from the deli across the street. I have a couple of calls I'm waiting on so I can't leave the office today but I wanted to spend a little time with you."

I push the door closed behind me and hesitate for a few seconds before I cross over to his desk. He gestures at the chair on the other side of his desk and I uneasily sink down into it. He sets a wrapped sandwich on my side of the desk and I busy my hands by taking my jacket off, tossing it across the arm of the chair next to me.

He settles down in his chair, still smiling as he looks up at me. "I didn't want you spending Thanksgiving alone. And… I realized a little too late that I should have talked to you before I decided to take a shift today," he says softly, offering up an apologetic smile as he sets down a bag of chips with a noisy crinkle. "I'm sorry, I didn't think about you being alone."

I shift uncomfortably in my chair, shrugging a little. I have no fucking clue what to say so I lean forward and snag one of the straws lying on the desk instead of responding. I fiddle with the paper wrapped around the straw for a few seconds before I glance up at dad with a shrug.

"It's okay. I wasn't alone," I mumble, leaning forward to snag the small bag of chips on my side of the desk. It makes a noise as I open the bag and for once, it's not scratching at me like it normally would. Maybe because I'm hyper aware of the noises dad's making instead of my own. I only take a few chips out to give myself something to do.

Dad's quiet across from me as I stare down into the bag, studying the individual chips, and wondering how Danny's doing now. Even though it hasn't been much longer than an hour since I saw him, I still find my mind wandering back to Danny.

"Did you spend today with your mother?" dad asks, pulling me from my thoughts completely.

I swallow hard, leaning forward to set the chips down on the desk, grabbing my drink instead. I force some of the soda down my throat to keep myself from panicking. I take a few measured breaths before I clear my throat and look up at him, shaking my head. "No… I didn't."

He nods, keeping his gaze on his sandwich while mine's on him. I study every small detail of his facial expression, trying to get anything I can from it. There's no telling if he's gonna snap and start kicking my ass. I really don't want today to end in bruises but I know dad. And it's really fucking hard to believe that he's just called me here to hang out.

"A friend then?" he asks, finally looking up from his food. He only gives me a fleeting glance but it's enough to get a full look at his expression. And as weird as it feels, he doesn't look pissed off. Considering one of the last times we talked about mom, I figured he'd get ticked off even if she was just mentioned.

I swallow another mouthful of my drink, dropping my gaze to his desk as I lean forward to set the cup down on it. This is weird. He's talking like he cares and he doesn't seem to give a shit that I could have been hanging out with mom today.

Dad leans forward to get his own drink and our gazes barely meet before I'm looking away again, training my gaze out the window to study the parking lot instead of him. Cause I can't think about how fucking weird this is anymore.

"Kwan?" he asks and I manage to hold his gaze this time.

I let out a breath, slowly shaking my head. "No, just another friend," I respond, running a hand down my face. Shit, I used to be better at dealing with questions from dad. He used to ask more often than he has lately. Or maybe I just remember having mom there to distract him if I started to get uncomfortable under his stare. But it's just me now and I'm not exactly uncomfortable. It's just weird.

Dad nods and we fall silent as he continues to eat and I stare out the window wishing I was still hanging out with the Fenton's instead. I think dad's trying to be a parent again, like he was after I fucked up my calf in the spring but… does it make me a complete asshole if it feels like he's waited too long to try again?


I leave the station almost as soon as dad finishes eating, making up an excuse about needing to get some homework done. Dad buys the line and I only feel a little guilty as I climb into my Mitsubishi and pull out of the parking lot.

The drive back to the house is shorter than usual cause no one's on the roads. Everyone has somewhere to be for the holiday and I'm going home alone. And my house feels cold when I pull into the driveway but I get out of my car anyway.

I don't really have a lot of homework to work on, other than some algebra that I'll definitely need Danny's help with. I figured out a couple of problems on my own but half of that shit might as well be Greek to me.

After I kick my shoes off and shed my jacket, I grab my laptop from my desk and crawl onto my bed. If dad comes home early, I'll tell him I'm working on an essay. Even though I'll most likely be bingeing on Supernatural or watching a football game.

My phone vibrates in my pocket almost as soon as my computer springs to life. I type in my password and let the desktop load before I dig my phone from my pocket. I'd be a complete fucking liar if I said that seeing Danny's name on my screen didn't make me grin.

From: Danny

Trying not to be that paranoid friend but… you okay?

A groan slips from me and I cover my face with one hand. Be that paranoid friend, Danny. I don't mind. At least you're thinking about me. …Shit, I'm in deep.

To: Danny

Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, just got home

I force myself to pay attention to my computer, opening up a couple of different websites and pointlessly checking my email, all to keep from staring at my phone screen, waiting around for Danny's response. Cause that would be completely pathetic. As compared to what I am now, only slightly pathetic.

From: Danny

Ahh, okay. Good, glad to know you're okay :)

I memorize his words a million fucking times before I start to type out my response. I don't get the chance to come up with anything that sounds casual instead of like I'm flirting with him before another text comes through.

From: Danny

Did it go okay with your dad? (I'm sorry, I know you'd bring this up if you wanted to talk about it, I'm just worried.)

I feel so wrong for the way my chest fucking aches at his text. Cause he doesn't have to care about my shit but he does and it makes me feel good knowing that someone cares. And it makes me feel really fucking good that that someone is Danny.

To: Danny

Yeah, it was okay

You don't have to apologize, I know you care about me ;P

I hate using emoji's. They're really fucking stupid. But throwing one into a text to Danny makes it feel like I'm less invested in this conversation. Like I don't care as much as I actually fucking do. And for now, that's what I need. Cause I don't want to do anything that makes him think I like him. Not while he's still so fucked up from what his ex-boyfriend did and the whatever shit is between him and his mom. Right now, he needs to deal with his shit and I need to deal with mine. Even if that means I have to wait a little longer before I can brush my lips against his collarbones and make him moan my name.


The weekend after Thanksgiving is a long one. Even though I get texts and photos from Danny, recounting his Black Friday adventures, and Kwan and I facetime again on Saturday, it's boring as hell just by myself. Dad's working all weekend and I only get a chance to see him on Sunday, just before he leaves for another all-day shift.

I spend most of Sunday lazing around and I finally decide to actually get my homework done around midday. I snapchat a picture of my algebra homework to Danny, feeling really fucking proud of myself, and he quickly sends me a text, saying that I messed up on a couple of problems and offers to help me out during our spare tomorrow. I barely think about the text I send back to him but reading over it again, the 'please' at the end feels really fucking pathetic.

Dad gets home pretty late on Sunday and I barely hear the door close after him before I'm finally drifting off, the faint sound of his footsteps fading away into the distance, as my body gives into the sleep it was fighting against for so long.


My alarm is fucking killer on Monday morning. I feel drunk when I wake up, stumbling around my room to get ready for school. I don't know how long I was actually asleep but it feels like fucking seconds ago that I heard dad coming in the door.

I somehow manage a bleary-eyed shower but my attempt at shaving doesn't go quite as well and I cut the shit out of the underside of my chin. It takes me about ten minutes of patting the area with the shirt I slept in last night but eventually, the bleeding stops and I leave the bathroom.

Dad's sitting at the kitchen table when I move downstairs, jacket and shoes in one hand and my backpack in the other. He gives me a bright smile but I barely manage more than a weak nod, shuffling over to the coffee pot in silence.

"Good morning," dad says, laughing at whatever expression is on my face when I glance over my shoulder. He sips from his mug and I only look his way for a second before my mind is focused on coffee again.

I grunt a hello in response and find my travel mug. I take my time adding in sugar and milk to my cup before I snap the lid on and turn back to dad. He's looking over the newspaper, sipping from his coffee mug, but he meets my gaze when I look his way.

He leans back in his chair, setting the newspaper down. "How'd you sleep?"

I can't remember the last time he's asked me a question about that or about how I'm doing at all. I've barely seen him since our bizarre stilted conversation on Thursday. Even though I want nothing more than to just tell him I slept fine and leave before he has the chance to get under my skin and fuck up my day, I cross the room and collapse in a chair across from him.

"Not bad… a little shitty," I mumble, running a hand down my face. I rest my forehead in the palm of my hand, letting out a breath as I lean on the table. Fuck, I'm so tired. I take another sip of coffee, knowing that I should be out of here soon or I'm gonna be late. And I know how much Ms. Anderson fucking cherishes getting to bust my balls every time I come in late.

Dad lets out a soft breath, his eyebrows drawn down in concern when I glance up at him. "I'm not working today but I am running a few errands later. Do I need to pick up some sleep aids or anything for you while I'm out?"

What the fuck?

I slowly sit upright, blinking to try and figure out if I'm fucking dreaming. Sleep aids. He's asking if I need fucking sleep aids. This is the same dad who told me I was making this shit up in sixth grade, right? Nobody's replaced him overnight and is waiting around to see how long it takes me to notice?

"No, it's… okay," I respond, still not entirely convinced that this is the same guy who told me to 'suck it up' during the long nights of middle school when I just couldn't fall asleep.

The concern on dad's face increases just a little. "You sure? Anything else you need?"

Seriously, what the fuck? I feel weird telling him to get anything for me but he's asked twice and I don't want to be an asshole and say I don't need anything from him. Even though I've learned to quit relying on him, he's offering and fuck, I don't want to make this awkward between us.

"Uhh… yeah, sure. You could… pick up some batteries for my… xbox controllers," I mumble, running a hand through my hair before I push away from the table and stand. I can't keep sitting here or the tension slowly building in my gut will spread to my fingertips and he'll see that I still can't control the trembling in my hands. I'm trying dad, I'm really fucking trying.

I hold my travel mug in one hand and plunge my other hand into my pocket to look as casual as possible. "I'll just… text you the brand later?"

Dad nods, his expression lightening to make room for the smile across his lips, and I quickly take my leave. I don't know what the fuck is going on with him. He's offering to get things for me and wishing me a good morning and… fuck. I don't know how to deal with this version of dad. I'm used to the one that settles things with his fists and doesn't care if he leaves me with bruises that aren't just skin-deep.

I grab my jacket from the stairs and slide it on, jamming my feet into my shoes before I sling my backpack onto my shoulder. Even though it makes my gut clench, I glance over my shoulder and call out to dad as I head toward the front door. "See you later."

He looks up from the paper again, offering a wave and more words that just make this whole situation feel way more fucked up than it should be. "Have a good day, kiddo."


I hang out in the parking lot as soon as I get to school, just watching as everyone arrives. I'm sitting on the trunk of my car, draining my coffee, when Kwan parks his car in the space next to mine. He gives me a grin from the window before he's climbing out of his car.

"Hey man," I greet, my voice gravelly even to my own ears.

Kwan gives me a look as he slides up onto the trunk and scoots closer to me. He lets out a breath and stares out at the parking lot in silence. I sip from my travel mug, intent on keeping quiet until he talks. Cause he's got shit his own to deal with and I'm tired of dragging mine out and making him think about me when he should just be focused on himself. God, I'm trying so hard but I know I'm fucking seconds away from snapping under all this goddamn pressure.

"Things are… weird," I mumble, gulping down a few swallows of coffee when Kwan looks at me. I hesitate way too fucking long before I meet his gaze but I manage to actually look at him and I can't stop myself from spilling my fucking guts into the space between us. "Dad's being really fucking nice but it feel like some kind of trap, and my mom is… god, it's weird with her too. And I know you've got your own shit to deal with and I know I talk too much about mine. I'm sorry, I don't… I just can't…really. N-Not by myse-"

Kwan stops me instantly with a hand on my arm and I let out a shuttering breath, my eyes falling closed. "Don't worry about whatever I'm dealing with," he says, and I try to let his voice ease the tension coiling in the pit of my stomach. "Talk to me, what's going on?"

He patiently waits for me to sort out what the hell is in my head and I wish I could just tell him everything. But I don't know how to say it. I've spent so much damn time trying to get better with words but I don't think it's worked at all.

"I don't know, it's a lot of different shit," I mumble, weakly shrugging one shoulder.

Kwan tsks softly, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and guiding my head to rest against his shoulder. "It's gonna be okay," he says, his grip on me tightening when I sigh. "I mean it, Dash. All this shit we're both dealing with… it'll get better, okay? It has to at some point, right? Laws of nature and all? What goes up must come down?"

I snort, rolling my eyes as I push away from him. He gives me grin that cracks a smile on my face. "Whatever, man." I run a hand through my hair, giving him a sideways look. "Your stupid jokes never get any funnier, you know that?"

"I know. But you can't resist my great sense of humor," he says, batting his eyelashes at me and making me laugh again.

He nudges his shoulder against mine when I turn my gaze out to the parking lot. "Seriously, it's gonna be okay. If things get bad or whatever, you can always come to my place, you know that. And if something happens… you know we'll figure it out."

I can't deny that he's actually making me feel better but I still stick my tongue out when he looks at me. His laugh makes me grin and I let my stare drift through the parking lot, trying not to think about all the shit with either of my parents.

Across the lot, Keith is looking at me and Kwan but he quickly darts his gaze away when I look at him. It's hard to tell from the distance but I'm pretty sure he's blushing. Oh right.

"Hey, Kwan…?" I ask, keeping my gaze away from him. I have no clue where to start with this but I'm guessing that outright asking if my best friend likes our teammate wouldn't be very subtle. "Have you… thought about what Danny said after the game? Out on the balcony?"

Kwan shifts next to me, giving me a puzzled look when I look at him. "What do you mean?"

I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to figure out how to phrase it. "Like… when he was talking about not dating until he's in college…" I swallow past the lump in my throat. God, no wonder Danny doesn't want to get involved with anyone until college. With an ex like his, who wouldn't wait a while longer? "Um… y-you said that you might try that." I shrug, hoping I've put every ounce of subtlety I can manage into my tone.

Kwan makes a spluttered noise beside me and his face is flushed when I look at him. He averts his gaze almost immediately, exhaling out with a nervous laugh.

"Yeeeahhh," he says, looking at me with a sheepish grin. "I totally planned to but… I saw this really cute guy's profile on Grindr and well… I-I'm too much of an obnoxious flirt to give up dating for the rest of this school year," Kwan admits.

I can't help the snort that leaves me as I roll my eyes. He's right. I don't know why I ever thought he'd actually give it up. Kwan's way too much of a flirt to give up for that long.

"Maybe your next boyfriend could be someone you meet in person," I respond, sticking my tongue out at him when he gives me a funny look. "You know, someone you don't meet through that shitty app."

"Hey, it's not shitty," Kwan responds, nudging my shoulder with his own. It brought him to Jared so… I beg to differ.

I sip my coffee in the brief silence that falls between us. "All I'm saying is… don't close yourself off from guys you meet in person yet, okay? There are plenty of guys in Amity Park that you wouldn't be half bad with." I shrug when he glances my way and I try to play it off as casually as I can. "I don't know, maybe there's a guy you already know pretty well. Someone that you would have never considered before now."

Kwan gives me a look and I only briefly meet it before I return my stare to the parking lot. "Are you flirting with me?" he asks with a flustered laugh and I feel my face heat up instantly. I turn to defend myself but he cuts me off, grinning wickedly.

"I mean, I know you want in Danny's pants but mine too? Sheesh, you're becoming quite the player." He winks, forcing me to give up the pretense that I'm not embarrassed.

I roll my eyes and look away from him. He's the obnoxious flirt out of the two of us, not me. Even though I did almost kiss that bartender, Gregor… and I actually went home with Kitty… Ugh, he might be a flirt but I'm fucking hopeless with this shit. "Oh shut up."


Danny doesn't show up for school on Monday. He sends me a text halfway through my biology class to let me know that he's not planning on coming in today or tomorrow. He apologizes for not being able to help me with my homework but I couldn't give less of a shit about that. I respond as soon as the class is over, asking if he's okay. And even though I send him a few texts throughout the day, I don't get more than a text or two from him until Tuesday.

I'm in my bedroom, trying to work on my homework but mostly just rewatching Supernatural, when a notification from Facebook dings in the tab open beside Netflix. I don't bother pausing the episode I'm on before I switch tabs.

There's a chat notification in the bottom tray of the site and I open up a window that's blinking red. My breath sticks in my throat as I see Danny's name, my heart jumping as another message lights up our chat window.

Danny Fenton: Hey! :)

Danny Fenton: missed you yesterday… it was pretty boring at my house lol

I'm stunned for a few seconds, just staring at his words, but I realize I should probably respond instead of dopily fucking staring at my screen. It takes several attempts to sound casual and I hope to whatever god is listening that Danny doesn't question why it takes me three years to type back one stupid message.

Me: yeah? What'd you do without having to face the bullshit of school?

Danny Fenton: not much… just kinda lazed around the house :P

Danny Fenton: how've you been?

God, he makes this sound so easy. Simple. Like it should be fucking easy to respond to a stupid message but it's not. At least, not for me. Cause my heart is constricting with every word I type and immediately erase in his chat window. I want to say everything's been good and not even think about how it's been with my dad but I can't drag my mind away from how weird it's been between us.

I run a hand down my face and switch tabs to pause Netflix. The screen stops with an image of Dean looking off into the distance and I stare at it for a few seconds before I find my balls and switch back to Facebook.

Me: good, just trying to get through the beast of my homework lmao

Danny Fenton: I feel that

Danny Fenton: Do you have Skype?

Fuck, my heart actually constricts. He wants to skype with me? Like video and shit? I don't know if I can handle seeing his face right now but I quiet that part of myself, hurriedly typing back a response.

Me: yeah I do

Me: why? You wanna talk?

Danny Fenton: Kinda

Danny Fenton: Add me? I'm danTHAman

Danny Fenton: Tucker's idea lol

Me: Okay one sec

I nervously drum my hands against my desktop as I wait for Skype to load. The blue image fills my screen momentarily and I listen to the sign-in noise before I get the chance to search for his username.

I've only ever used Skype before when mom wanted me to talk to my grandparents or when mom took a few vacations without dad when I was younger. It's been at least six years since I used it and if not for Danny, I wouldn't be powering it up now.

The profile picture Danny has on Skype is definitely him but he looks way younger than the photo on his Facebook profile. He's wearing a baseball cap turned sideways, his tongue stuck out as he gives the camera a peace sign.

I hit add contact and send off the generic message, waiting a few seconds before I add, "nice profile pic ;P"

DanTHAman: omfg

DanTHAman: I totally forgot about that, it's so cringey

**Incoming call: DanTHAman**

I blow out a breath, steeling myself before I move my cursor over to click the answer button. I practically hold my fucking breath as I listen to the call jingle ring out a few extra times before it clicks and Danny's face fills my screen.

He grins broadly, exhaling out a nervous laugh. "Hey!" Shit. Why do you have to be so fucking cute, Fenton?

"Uhh, h-hey," I respond, awkwardly scratching the back of my head with a shitty grin. "How's… everything?"

Danny tilts his head to one side, shrugging. "Not bad. I'm just bored and my parents aren't gonna be home for another couple of hours." He exhales out, his gaze darting away from his screen for a second before he's looking back at me, fucking killing me with the way he chews on his bottom lip. "I hope I'm not interrupting your homework…"

"Nah," I dismiss with a wave of my hand. "I was mostly watching something rather than working. That shit can wait until later." You're way more fun to pay attention to.

A smile lights his face up again and he leans forward to prop his elbow on his desk, resting his chin in his hand. "So, things have been good?"

"Y-Yeah," I mumble, hoping that the flush I can feel on my face doesn't show up that well on his screen. Things have been good. Even though I can't figure out how the fuck I'm supposed to act around dad when he's not angry, and I don't have the balls to give my mom a call, things are still good. At least… they're okay.

Danny's smile disappears after a second and he glances over his shoulder like he's worried someone might overhear. "Listen…" he says softly, turning back toward his screen with a pinched expression. I hate that I'm not next to him right now, holding his hand while he talks through whatever's fucking with him. "I overheard my parents talking last night."

He shifts a little in his chair, letting out a shaky breath. "They were talking about the whole… phantom thing," he says and I feel the tension suddenly a part of our conversation, making us both hesitate.

I try to make it as casual as I can manage, leaning forward until I can rest my elbow on my desk. "Yeah?" I ask, leaning my chin into my hand. He chews on his bottom lip and I try to school my heart into not fluttering.

"Yeah… My mom said that…" he exhales, his words coming out in a rush. "She was talking about some kind of evidence they have against the phantom and mentioned the search for him is still on…"

Danny meets my gaze, fear tugging at his expression. "Dash… the government agents… they're looking for that place I called you from. The woods by the outlook? They're trying to find it because… because after they shot me, I tried to just disappear but I was bleeding and they almost got me," he breathes out slowly, dropping his gaze as he braces his palms against his desk.

His shoulders are squared and he breathes in deep before starting again, his every word more of an effort than before. "One of them had a bag over my face and I couldn't breathe and… I don't know how I got away but when I did, I ran faster than they could and I hid out until they started looking in another direction." Danny drops his shoulders and looks up at me again. "But they… They have some samples of my blood now. From where I was standing when they shot me but my mom said something about them being contaminated? I don't know… I didn't hear all of it but they're looking for where I ended up, hoping to find some of my blood a-and it won't be long before they do. And they'll find out who the phantom really is."

Shit.

I blow out a breath, leaning back in my desk chair. I thought all of this shit was supposed to calm down now. Danny said he's gonna stop this but I guess it's too late. They have evidence against him and even if it is contaminated, I wouldn't put it past them to use it anyway. I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't even know where to start but fuck, I can't let those agents get their hands on him.

"Okay," I run a hand down my face, pushing out a breath. "What do we do from here?"

Danny's gaze leaves his screen and he shakes his head. His bangs fall into his eyes and I curse the fact that we're not next to each other right now. I ache to push the hair back from his face and try to ease his fears but I can only do one of those things over Skype.

"We'll figure this out," I say instead of touching him the way I want to. My words do little to help and he sighs, seeming to lose a little bit more strength with the exhale. I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to placate his fears as well as he's always been able to with mine. "I mean it. I… know you're scared. But you don't have to face this alone. I'm gonna be here. N-No matter what you need, I'll be here," I promise, my voice shaking when he looks up at me again.

He stares back at me without a word and the silence between us is long enough to scratch at me. I exhale softly, disturbing the quiet that's settled over us.

"I never use Skype anymore," I mumble, distracting him before I'm even aware of what I'm doing. "My mom set this account up for me back when she had me Skype my grandparents."

Danny shifts in his chair, his gaze leaving his screen again. There's a second of silence before he speaks, his voice shaky on the one word. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," I reply, leaning back in my chair with a sigh. "And you know grandparents, they go on forever about stuff. And they barely know how to work technology so it was painful as fuck."

He exhales out a quiet laugh, shaking his head before he looks at me again. "Yeah, my… grandparents were the same way. One Christmas, I had to explain my phone to my grandfather just so he could call my parents while they were out. He acted like it was the second coming or something."

I snort, scratching at the stubble patches I missed when I shaved yesterday. "Yeah, grandparents are… man, it's weird to think about like… how at one point, the technology they're used to was considered modern. And that next generation is gonna think our phones and shit is primitive compared to what they're using."

Danny laughs, nodding. "Yeah, definitely. Then again, who's to say that next generation will be human?" he asks, his lips twisting into a smirk that has no right to make my heart flutter over a damn Skype call. "Who knows, maybe robots will be populating the earth."

"I seriously doubt that," I dead-pan, trying to keep my heart under control. It's almost impossible with the grin he's giving me but I manage to stop myself from blushing like a fucking idiot.

He leans back in his chair, his eyes falling closed with the small breath that escapes him. "Yeah… I only ever really used Skype with Tucker, really. I mean… I used to be on here all the time when my sister and I would Skype with our uncle as kids. And I can promise I had a better username back then," he says with a dry laugh.

Danny opens his eyes and looks back at me. There's something about the expression on his face that makes me think this is about more than just his username. I make it as casual as possible as I force a smile onto my face. "Yeah? You guys don't Skype anymore?"

His expression loses all semblance of lightness to it and he pushes out a breath. "No. We don't."

I chew on the inside of my lip, trying to read the situation. I've fucked up in the past cause I let my curiosity control the situation but I'm so fucking past that. I can be stubborn as fuck when I need to be but I don't have to try to get answers from him every conversation.

"Is it… okay for me to ask why not?"

Danny exhales out a quiet breath but a smile tugs at one corner of his mouth. "Yeah… it's okay," he mumbles. It's hard to tell over a webcam but I think he's blushing. What the fuck, Fenton? I'm usually the flushed mess in this friendship.

"To be honest with you… I don't really know why we don't anymore. My parents put a stop to it when I was fifteen. They… never told us why, we just weren't allowed to talk to him anymore," he says, as he pushes his hair away from his face, his eyes falling closed as he tightens his hand around strands of his hair. "I was pretty close with him too – closer than my sister ever was – and now… my parents refuse to talk about him. Last time… that Jazz and I brought him up at dinner…"

He breathes out, his eyes falling closed. "We heard our parents screaming at each other that night. You know… the kind of arguing and screaming that goes on for hours." His voice shakes as he talks and I bite down hard enough to draw blood on the inside of my lip, trying to keep myself from whispering words of comfort to him. You can do this, Danny. It's okay, you can be honest with me.

Danny slowly opens his eyes, releasing the death grip on his hair. "We've… vowed not to bring him up again cause that was… horrible," he mumbles softly, his gaze dropping from his screen.

I don't know what to say but something is better than nothing. A shitty apology isn't gonna help him right now and I don't feel like forcing one out anyway. It'd lose its sincerity somewhere between the open air and his ears.

"Parents," I say, shrugging when he looks up again. That one simple word cracks a smile on his face and he lets out a laugh. It's not as carefree as his laugh normally is but right now, I'll take what I can get. Even if that means it makes me blush like a fucking idiot.

I drop my stare from the computer, my gaze landing on my homework. The past two days have been brutal without his help. If my teacher could get away with it, I'm sure he'd let me know how much of an idiot I am at this subject. Shit, I really need Danny's help getting through this. "You uh… coming to school tomorrow?"

I glance up at the wrong moment and the breath catches in my throat as Danny sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. It's hard to see clearly over Skype but I just barely make out the flash of white against his lip and it fucking kills me.

"Not sure yet… I'm gonna talk to my dad when he gets home," he mumbles with a shrug.

I lean my elbow on my desk again. "Yeah? Why'd you skip anyway?" I ask as bravery sparks alive in my chest and falls out of my open mouth. "I m-missed you these past couple days."

Danny's smile looks genuine but his expression doesn't lighten at all. "I know. I'm sorry, I promise I'll help you with your homework soon. It's just… been pretty hard for me these past few days," he mumbles, his voice hardly above a whisper as he talks. He chews on his bottom lip in the silence, completely destroying my attempt at caging the butterflies up again.

"I've just… had really bad anxiety," he says in one breath, his gaze darting away from me before it returns almost immediately. He draws in a breath, shaking his head. "I tried to kinda… tough it out but my dad told me to stay home. I'm… doing better today but it's still hard. But t-to answer your question, I'm planning on coming in tomorrow. I just… don't know yet."

A breath leaves me in the silence and I slowly nod. I don't know if he wants to be distracted or not but if there's one thing I'm good at, it's pushing all of the fucked-up shit out of my mind long enough to find breathing room.

I don't want to bring up any of the shit I'm dealing with to distract him so I talk about anything other than our shit. I tell him a little more about the colleges looking into me and he comments a couple of times about the bigger names. It takes a long-ass moral debate on my part but I eventually tell him about Keith's crush on Kwan and if I was surprised by it, Danny's shocked.

We talk about his sister for a while and he tells me about what his life was like growing up. We talk about how the holiday season is upon us and Danny bemoans holiday shopping with his sister. Somewhere along the way, I find the balls to bring up his birthday and I ask if it's okay to plan something the way he did for me. It takes a few thousand 'please's but he says okay. And it reminds me that I only have a little under two weeks to figure out what the fuck I'm doing for him. No pressure like wanting him to fall in love with me, right?


Danny and I are on Skype for hours and he only logs off when his parents call him for dinner. As soon as his image isn't on my screen anymore, I realize how late it actually is and I leave my room to eat something too.

Things are still really weird between dad and I but I talk myself into sending him a text to ask if he'll be home for dinner. He responds almost immediately, saying he's working late but that there's some lasagna in the fridge leftover from what he made last night.

I practically have a heart attack when he sends me another text with the words "I love you" at the end. I lean against the counter next to the microwave and it takes me half a fucking year to manage to type out 'love you too.'

My hands are trembling too badly to hit the send button and I curse under my breath, pushing my fingers through my hair. Fuck. It should be easy to just respond to his message with the same words he sent me but… I can't. Something's stopping me. God, why the fuck can't I just send this stupid fucking message?

The microwave scares the shit out of me when it finally stops spinning my plate of lasagna and I realize I've been holding my phone in a death-grip. I slowly erase my message before I uncurl my hands from my phone and put it away, talking myself out of staring at my screen any longer. Cause as good as it's been between dad and I lately… he always gives up after a while. I fuck up, he gets angry… it always ends in pain. As much as I want to just have my arms wide open for his affection… I think I have the right to keep my walls up for just a little longer.


I lie awake late enough to hear dad open the front door before I pass out, my dreams some twisted up version of my childhood where I was happy. Where I didn't know bruises before I knew my own goddamn name.

It's no surprise that my sleep is shit. I barely feel like I've slept when my alarm goes off but I force myself to crawl out of bed. I fumble with my phone but manage to send a text to Danny, even making the effort to be sure what I'm sending is actually intelligible.

To: Danny

Hey, any idea yet if you're coming in?

I only take the time to shower cause the water's warm and outside is cold as fuck. Amity Park is expecting its first snow-fall of the season in a matter of days and my letterman jacket won't cut it today. Which is fucking perfect considering I only have one other jacket that's actually attractive to wear and it's definitely seen better days.

My phone lights up with a new text as I'm leaving the bathroom to get my shit and I only pause to read it once I have my shoes and jacket.

From: Danny

Yep! Gonna try to suck it up today. can't guarantee that I won't see the nurse at some point :P

I scrub the heel of my palm against my eye, letting out a breath as I hear dad downstairs, opening and closing cabinets. Fuck, his text from last night still makes my chest constrict when I think about it. I don't want to have to see him today… not yet anyway. Maybe later I'll be able to stand being in the same room with him and not feel the tension clawing its way up the inside of my throat and spewing like acid at my feet but right now… I definitely can't deal with it.

To: Danny

You want some coffee?

I only pocket my phone long enough to slide on my jacket, an old army style looking thing passed down to me by my grandfather, and put my shoes on. Once I grab my backpack from where I left it beside my desk, I'm good to go.

Danny's response makes me smile and I can only hope his sleep wasn't as shit as mine was.

From: Danny

Please! :)


Danny's already in the parking lot when I arrive, hanging out on the hood of his car and playing some kind of game on his phone. He barely looks up at me when I approach him and the breath he lets out is a little shaky when I stop next to his car.

I want to ask if he's okay or if he needs me to do anything for him but I don't think that'll help him right now. I can't do anything to fix this shit for him and even if I could… I doubt he wants me to fight his battles for him.

"Move over," I say, climbing up onto his car without waiting for him to respond. He keeps his stare on his phone screen but scoots over enough for me to sit next to him. He loses in his game again and lets out a groan, looking up at me.

The bags under his eyes could rival mine and the surprise I feel is reflected back in his knowing gaze. He offers up a tired smile, his lips twisting into the expression like it's the only one they know.

"I didn't sleep at all," he says, reaching to take one of the coffee cups from me. He downs a few scalding mouthfuls before he looks back at me with a heavy exhale. "I don't think I ever explained really but I'm on a daily anti-anxiety drug as well as an 'as needed' one."

He swallows down another mouthful of coffee, roughly swiping the back of his hand over his mouth when he breaks away from the sip. "I ran out of the second one last week and I forgot to get them filled. And then I overheard that shit my parents were talking about the other night so… these past few days have been fun," he says dryly, looking up at me with a smile that holds more amusement than his first one did.

I push out a breath, dropping my gaze down to my coffee. I barely understand anxiety beyond his trembling and my own. But I don't have to understand everything to be here for him.

"That sucks," I say, swallowing down a gulp of coffee before I meet his gaze again with a shrug. "Guess it's a good thing I offered you coffee then. As far as… the sleep goes."

Danny snorts, nodding. "Definitely," he says with a wink and my fucking heart stops. Cause he's never winked before and it's doing things to my heart that I have no right to feel. Fuck, Danny. I hope you bring flowers to my funeral cause you're gonna be the death of me.


Biology is boring as always and even though I could doze off, the coffee is starting to kick in so I doodle in my notebook instead. I'm supposed to be taking notes but everything Ms. Anderson says usually goes in one ear and out the other.

"…which brings us to the second point. Using sodium hypochlorite can essentially erase DNA evidence."

I trace over my rough doodle of a coffee cup again before I realize what the hell the teacher just said. The only thing I remember from last year's finals is the term that my teacher's just throwing around the classroom? Sodium chlorite… as in, bleach?

I slowly look up at Ms. Anderson, blinking once to make sure I actually heard her right. She's drawing something out on the chalkboard and though my hand shakes, I raise it in the air. Ms. Anderson stops mid-sentence before she looks my way with a raised eyebrow. "Yes, Mr. Baxter?"

My throat is dry and I swallow twice before I'm able to speak, distantly aware of everyone's eyes on me. "I just… have a question," I say and she nods for me to continue. "Uhh… the… chlorite. What you said about the chlorite does that… like… would it apply to blood?"

"Yes, exactly," she says, a smile lightening her expression as she glances at the rest of the class. "Dash is correct. If the blood is contaminated with sodium hypochlorite, it can essentially be destroyed." She beams brightly as a couple of brainiacs in the room take notes before her gaze shifts back to me. "Anything else you'd like to ask?"

I think she's relieved that I finally give a shit in her class and I hate to burst her bubble but I'm only asking cause I'm going out of my fucking mind trying to figure out how to help Danny. "No, that was it. Thanks," I mumble, dropping my gaze to my notebook again.

Ms. Anderson waits a beat before she moves back into the rest of the lesson and I wish I could pay her attention but I can't. Cause my mind is running and I think I might be on to something. She might not be able to answer all of my questions about this but I think I know someone who will.


Kwan is trailing after me as we leave history class together and he's going on about how little success he's had on Grindr lately. I want to listen to him, give him more of my attention but I can't right now. I have something else to handle that's a little more important than my best friend's latest crush.

"Dash, are you even listening to me?" Kwan asks before I have the chance to say anything and I can only exhale in response. I shake my head, glancing at him.

"No, sorry. My mind's everywhere right now… we'll talk about this later, okay? Seriously, I wanna hear what's up with you I just…" I glance toward the clock on the wall and slowly draw in a breath before I look back at him with a shrug. "Sorry, I'm gonna head out. I'll catch you later, okay?"

Kwan catches my arm when I turn to leave. "Hey, wait… Where are you going?"

I let out a breath, only turning back to him when he gives me another insistent tug. "I'm… gonna go see Valerie at work. Tell… Tell Danny for me, huh? I think he wanted to see me over our spare but… just let him know that I can't, okay?"

Kwan gives me a funny look but after a few seconds, he lets go of my sleeve with a small nod. "Okay… text me when you're headed back?"

"Sure," I respond, giving him my best attempt at a smile before I'm headed toward the door. I don't have anyone to turn to about this shit but I have Valerie. Even if she doesn't want to help the phantom, she'll at least help me. At least… I'm hoping with everything I've got in me that she'll still help me.


Even with a stop at Valerie's favorite Chinese place, I'm parked outside the building her dad gave me the address to when I texted him earlier with still an hour before my next class. The roads started feeling familiar the closer I got to the address and it wasn't until I turned my Mitsubishi into the parking lot that I realized why.

I'm parked in front of the government building those officers took me to after I pulled that stupid fire alarm. After I held Danny's hand in the gym and told him everything was gonna be okay. I can't fucking believe I'm back here but I refuse to let myself think about it. I refuse to think of those pictures those agents took of my parents and how they'd be willing to inflict some serious damage to one or both of them to get me to talk, or what they'd do to-

No.

I push out a breath, killing the engine before I open my door and grab the bag with Valerie's lunch in it. I don't know what she planned on eating today but now she's having this. Even if she won't help me, I'll still leave it for her. If she lets me leave.

The glass door I tug open feels cool beneath my hand and I try to push back the bout of nerves I can feel suddenly flooding through me with every step I take toward the receptionist's desk.

A woman with long black hair pinned back in a bun is tapping away at her computer and barely glances up from her screen at me before she holds up one finger. She talks into a headset she's wearing and it only takes her a second before she's finished.

"What can I help you with?" she asks, glancing at the bag in my hand.

I try to give her my best, "it's cool, I wasn't one of the people you might have seen dragged in here for doing something stupid" smile but I'm not sure how well it works. "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine. Valerie Gray?"

The receptionist frowns, typing onto her keyboard for a second before she looks up at me again. "Valerie Gray?" she asks, not waiting for me to say anything before she's talking again. "She's in one of the back offices on the fourth floor but she may have popped out for lunch," she explains, her gaze straying toward the paper bag I'm holding. "I'm gonna need to see what you've got there."

"I just brought her some lunch," I say, handing the bag over for her to take a look. She opens the bag and shifts the containers around before she passes it back to me.

"Alright, elevator is to your left. She's in office 724," she tells me, settling back down at her desk. Her gaze returns to her computer screen and I quickly take my leave.

The nerves are eating me alive now and I'm practically shaking in the elevator ride up to the fourth floor. I try to remember Danny's breathing trick but it's not coming to me and the nerves are starting to claw at me.

Stop freaking out. You have nothing to be fucking scared of. You're doing this for Danny. He's the one that's got something to lose if this shit goes bad. Chill the fuck out.

I let out a shaky breath as the elevator shutters to a stop and I uneasily step off of it, my stomach convulsing with my every step. I start down the hall, my breath catching at every agent in a white suit I have to pass by. One of the agents looks like he recognizes me but I keep my head down as I pass by him, only glancing up to check the door numbers.

The anxious feeling in my gut has completely wrecked me by the time I make it to Valerie's door, at the end of the hall. The brass numbers hanging on the door are faded – like this place has seen a lot of people come and go from it.

I breathe out a few times, trying to school myself back into some bullshit version of calm before I raise my knuckles to her door and knock softly. There's a few seconds of silence before I hear someone else's voice call out for me to come in.

My breath sticks in my throat as I turn the handle and I try to expel all the nerves out of me as I exhale heavily, swinging the door open in one movement. Valerie's at one end of the office, her gaze locked on her computer screen, a pair of headphones on her ears. She doesn't notice me standing in the doorway so I shift my gaze to the only other person in the room.

The blonde girl that was with Valerie the day the agents were at Casper High is sitting behind a desk, a pencil stub tucked behind one ear. She arches an eyebrow as if to ask me what the hell I'm doing, before she decides to accompany the expression with words. "Can I help you?"

I clear my throat, my gaze straying toward Valerie again. "Uhh…" I glance back to the blonde, holding up the paper bag. "I brought lunch for Valerie."

The girl glances at the paper bag before she twists in her chair to look at Valerie. "Hey, Val, your boyfriend's here with lunch," she calls, completely rendering me a spluttering mess. I try to explain that I'm definitely not Valerie's boyfriend but she ignores me with a grin, finally chucking a paper ball to get Valerie's attention.

Valerie loops her headphones around her neck, hitting a few keystrokes before she turns to glance at her coworker. "What is it?" she asks before catching sight of me still in the doorway. Her expression brightens and she slides her headphones off, ditching them on the desk. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

She gets up from her chair and takes a few steps toward me, her gaze falling to the paper bag with a grin. "That better be for me, Baxter."

I force a shitty grin onto my face and hold the bag out toward her. She eagerly takes it and glances down inside with a short laugh. "Excellent! I was planning on raiding the vending machines again in half an hour – I forgot to bring lunch again," she says, glancing toward her coworker at the last statement.

The girl looks between the two of us with a raised eyebrow, a smirk on her face. "So, Val," she says, leaning back in her chair. "Who's your friend?"

Valerie rolls her eyes. "This is Dash, Tiffany," she says with a laugh, looking at me again. "Dash, this is Tiffany, my very nosy coworker." She crosses over to her desk again, setting the food down. "Thanks for this, I've been wanting it lately."

"I-I got extra… fortune cookies," I mumble, scratching the back of my head with a shrug. Valerie glances back at me with a hesitant expression. I can only imagine what I look like but I feel like I'm gonna be fucking sick.

Tiffany perks up in her chair, clearing her throat to get our attention. "Can you stick around to eat? That way Val has to share with me too."

Valerie balls up a napkin and chucks it at her coworker. "Shut up, you know I share most of what I bring here anyway." She rolls her eyes, folding the bag closed again before she picks it up. Her gaze shifts over to me. "Seriously, you should stick around and have some of this with us."

Shit. I didn't plan on sticking around or hanging out with one of Valerie's coworkers. I didn't even think that she might be with someone else… Fuck, I just wanted to talk to her, get her help, and get my ass back to school. I didn't plan for any of this.

I drag my phone from my pocket, pretending to check over the time as I try to summon what little courage is left in my ragged bones. I remind myself why I'm doing this, why it's worth this, before I look up at Valerie with a smile. "Sure, okay."


The three of us leave their tiny office together and Valerie leads us down the hall to where the break room is. Tiffany keeps up steady chatter with Valerie but when we get to the break room, I leave them both at a table. I cross the room over to the vending machines, inserting quarters until my hands stop shaking and I've got a can of soda for each of us.

"Thanks," Tiffany says as she opens the top on the can she takes from me. She gives me a bright smile as she sips from it before lowering it again. "So… if you're not Valerie's boyfriend… you interested in grabbing some drinks with me later? I get off at seven."

Valerie snorts behind us and I just barely glance at her before she laughs, louder this time. "Dash is eighteen, Tiff," she says, looking my way with a smirk. "And besides – he is with someone, just not me."

"Val," I call softly and she laughs again, beckoning the two of us over to the table.

Tiffany gives me a sly look as she settles down at the table and I practically collapse into my own chair. Nerves are racing through me like this situation is more dire than having lunch with a friend and her coworker. And maybe it feels that way cause I know the conversation that has to follow this or maybe it just feels that way cause I'm in the same building I was questioned in for hours for the same damn reason I'm here today.

I help Valerie take the containers out of the paper bag and I know my clumsy hands don't go unnoticed. I know Val wants to ask. She wants to know what's gnawing at me but she doesn't say a word. Maybe she thinks I'll bring it up. Maybe she'd ask if we were alone. Fuck, who knows?

As the three of us start eating, the girls settle into easy banter and I try to focus on not throwing up whatever food I'm shoving down my throat. I'm not even tasting it anymore – it's all just mush to me. Valerie glances toward me whenever there's a lull in the conversation, like she's waiting on me to say something, but Tiffany doesn't let the silence invade for too long. Relief courses through me that at the very least, I'm not being forced into keeping up with the conversation. But I know my cotton mouth will dry up and my tongue will tie itself with silence when the time finally comes to talk. So I force words past my trembling lips, hoping they don't die on the table before they reach anyone's ears.

"I'm visiting a college on winter break," I mumble, flicking my gaze up briefly enough to meet Valerie's surprised gaze. Her expression is caught between confusion and disbelief so I offer up a shrug and will my splintered voice to keep going. "Coach… set it up. S'part of a… scholarship thing. They want me on their team."

My words are stilted and lose a lot of their meaning with the shuttered breath I drag in but I force a shitty smile on my face, mumbling the few words sitting on the back of my tongue. "Couple other places are interested too. I'm seeing some of them over winter break and over a couple weekends in January."

"Shit, Dash," Valerie says, scooting her chair closer to me before she lightly punches me in the shoulder. "I'm so proud of you." She's grinning and I'm fucking dying inside, wondering how proud she'll be of me in a little while. When I have to tell her what I've done and who I've been protecting.


I answer a few questions that either Tiffany or Valerie have about the college opportunities that have come my way but I only make it through ten minutes before my porcelain tongue cuts my words off and I settle back into silence.

Tiffany picks up on my stilted responses before Valerie does and she turns the conversation to something else. She keeps Valerie talking and I only have to join in once or twice before they're both finished with their lunch and I can breathe again. Fuck. Time to get this over with.

"Thanks for coming by, this was fun," Valerie says, gathering up the remnants of our lunch and ditching the containers back into the paper bag before she shoots me a grin. I try to let her expression combat the discomfort settling in my chest but it does little to ease the fear shooting through my veins.

I manage a shaky smile with a hollow laugh, running a hand through my hair with a heavy exhale. "Yeah… much better than… battling the cafeteria at school," I mumble, watching Valerie's hesitation at my own.

Valerie shoots Tiffany a look before her gaze strays to me again, a smile on her face. "Let me walk you out?" she asks, jerking her thumb toward the door. "Just let me grab my jacket from my office."

I watch her go before I force myself up from the table. I pull my own jacket on and pick up the empty paper bag, crossing the room to the trash can. Tiffany leaves the room and I don't know if it's out of some kind of courtesy but it makes my heart race.

Valerie appears in the doorway again, pulling her jacket on, and she gives me a small smile. "Ready to go?" she asks.

No. I'm nowhere close to ready. I don't want to have this conversation with you. I don't want to ask you what to do. I don't want to have this fucking conversation with you, Val. But I have to. I fucking have to and I don't want you to fucking hate me.

We're silent as we move down the hall toward the elevators together and I couldn't find words even if I wanted to. They're jumbled up and sharp inside my paper heart, threatening to cut anyone that gets too close.

The receptionist greets Valerie when she sees the pair of us but they don't speak for long before Valerie's heading outside with me to my car. She tugs her coat around her tighter, making a face at the wind blowing against us.

"Ugh. Winter's definitely settled in," she says with a heavy sigh. "I swear. The season doesn't switch over until the last few weeks of December but leave it to Amity Park to jump the gun. You know we're expecting snow over the weekend, right?"

A hollow laugh cuts on the way out but I manage a shitty grin that convinces her I'm not as shaky as I really am. "Funny… you used to love this shit when you were a kid."

She rolls her eyes, a short laugh leaving her. "Yeah cause I didn't have to drive in it." Valerie shakes her head, looking out into the parking lot as we continue toward my car. "Seriously though, I heard the roads might be icy today so be careful heading back, okay?"

It's my turn to roll my eyes as I look at her. "Alright, Val. I've got tires that can take a beating in the snow, alright? You haven't gotten yours changed out in forever," I say, laughing at her expression when we come to a stop beside my car.

"Your job is working with cars. Of course you'd take care of yours immediately." She glances toward my car before she gives me a bright smile. "Thanks for coming today," she says, hesitating a second before she leans against my car, a guarded expression on her face. Fuck, here we go. "Is… something bothering you though? You seemed kind of… out of it."

Fuck. All of my efforts to keep my tongue from tying itself into knots around the silence ringing in my bones is crumbling around me and I'm almost choking on everything I need to say. Anxiety is clawing at my heart and I try to cough it out with the rough breath I exhale to disturb the glass quiet that's trapped us like caged animals.

"Yeah," is the one word I manage to expel out of me and Valerie seems to recognize the effort it's taking me to hold on. She looks like she wants to reach out and hold me but she doesn't. She stops herself from touching me and I can't decide if her closeness would help or not.

I exhale out again, clawing at the depths of my fucking soul for a shred of courage. I don't think there's anything left in me but I picture Danny's face the night he told me about all of this. I remember the way the blood ran like a river from him when I cradled his broken body in my arms. I remember the hitch in his voice yesterday when he told me that the government had found evidence against the phantom. That they'd found his blood. And that sparks something in me akin to courage but built on fear and the sheer need to protect him.

"Val, I gotta… ask you something," I say, steeling myself when my voice breaks. I need to do this. I have to do this. For him. Always for him.

I look up at Valerie, knowing that I would help her in the blink of an eye if she needed me. Remembering the way I held her when her mom lost the battle to cancer. I remember feeling Valerie's hands carding through my hair when I told her that my mom had left me behind. I can only beg whatever god is listening that she'll still help me the way I'd help her.

"I know… what the agents have found on the phantom," I say, watching the way Valerie's eyebrows draw down. She hesitates a moment before she pushes away from my car, her arms folding across her chest. Shit.

Valerie arches an eyebrow, letting out a soft breath. "You do?"

I swallow down the bile threatening to rise out of my stomach and spew on the pavement between us and manage to nod. "Yeah. I know that the blood you guys have is contaminated. And that… their plan is to find the place phantom came to rest the day they shot him to get… a different sample of blood to test."

She gives me a curious expression when I meet her gaze, her eyebrows slowly drawing down again in the silence. "Right… and you know this… how exactly?" Shit Valerie. I just know it.

I didn't want to drag Danny into this, never wanted to spill his secret to anyone but I think I knew I had to. From the second Valerie's name crossed my mind sitting in the back row of my biology class, I knew. I'm gonna have to tell her everything.

"Cause I know the phantom," I say, my voice like a gunshot to those glass walls of silence. They shatter around us and the shards cut into our skin, staining the pavement beneath our feet with red. The sharp edges tear at Valerie's expression, morphing it from shock to sadness, a brief flash of anger mixed in before she utters the one word.

"Who?" she questions, completely fucking breaking me. The shards turn inward as they rain down, scratching at my throat and my lungs, preventing me from speaking a goddamn word. I don't want to tell her who it is. I can't breathe with the thought that she'll know. Please Valerie. I want to trust you. Please don't make me regret this.

I draw in a breath, turning my gaze to the sky. I wish it was raining. I wish I was in my car on the way back to school. Or the garage. Or to see Danny. God I want to fucking see Danny.

"Valerie… I need you… to trust me," I breathe, meeting her gaze for a few seconds before I put a step of distance between us. I need space. Or air. I don't even know if I remember how to breathe or not, I just know that my lungs are desperately begging for oxygen that they can't drag or claw in.

She scoffs, closing that distance between us again. "If you know who it is, why haven't you told anyone? Even if it's just a suspicion, you know that at least I'd take it seriously and try to figure out if there was any reason why we should consider that person." She hesitates before uncrossing her arms, placing a hand on my arm with a gentle breath. "Why haven't you told me?"

"Cause I'm trying to protect him," I spit past my broken teeth and shaking lips, watching her expression morph into some cross between horrified and so fucking sad. "Valerie, I have to... stop this. I can't let those agents… find out who he is. They can't… get their hands on him, I can't let-"

Valerie steps away from me, her expression unreadable as she stares up at me, and the last few shards from those glass walls scrape down the veins in my wrists, spilling my fear at her feet. "Valerie… please."

"What have you done?" she asks, shaking her head. Her expression is horrified as she looks up at me and it tears at my sanity, reminding me that she's supposed to be one of my best friends. We're supposed to trust each other and goddamn it, I want to trust her. "That day we were at school. You pulled the alarm for the phantom, didn't you?"

"Yes," I choke out, begging myself to stay standing and not break right in front of her. "I-I lied to the agents about him. I h-helped him get away. Cause I can't fucking… watch anything happen to him."

She breathes out and looks away from me. I can't calm the shaking this time and I drop my stare to the pavement, chewing on the inside of my lip as I claw at the edges of my sanity. I've spent so much damn time always knowing that I'd never tell anyone his secret – fuck I was so pissed at his friend Tucker for assuming I'd tell a fucking soul and… here I am. Choking over words that have to come out one way or another.

"Valerie… he's just a kid," I say, looking up at her. She won't look at me again and I don't know how to make her see this my way. I don't know why she's even against the phantom in the first place. He hasn't done anything to anyone. So he stole some shit but he put it back. Or maybe he didn't, I don't fucking know. Why does that petty shit warrant… this? Why did it mean that he had to be fucking shot?

"He's our age," I try again before she looks back at me. I can feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes but I try to hang on as hard as I can to stop myself from breaking the fuck apart. "Valerie, he's… he's not the monster you think he is."

She lets out a breath, her eyes falling closed for a few seconds before she opens them again and all that bullshit from earlier is gone. She's not guarded or hesitant or asking for the agents. She's just my friend in this moment and that unbridled honesty is shining in her eyes as she asks again. "Dash… who is he?"

"Danny," I breathe his name easier than I do air and I see the recognition tick in Valerie's face. She knows why I can't let the agents have him. She knows that I'm so fucking wrapped around him that he could commit murder and I'd still be by his side. But he hasn't done anything worthy of all of this shit. He's innocent. He's fucking innocent and even if he wasn't, I still couldn't tear myself away from the position I've put myself in. I'm protecting him now – despite everything, I'm protecting him.

Valerie draws in a breath that she slowly exhales out and I can't tell if she's on my side or not. I can't let her walk away from me and tell those agents everything. I have to convince her before she can slip away from me and ruin all my efforts to protect him.

I open up the backdoor of my Mitsubishi with shaky hands and step back, meeting Valerie's curious stare. "Lift the sheet," I say, holding her gaze for as long as she'll let me. After a few seconds, she darts a look toward the sheet and raises an eyebrow. "Trust me, Valerie. Just take a look."

She hesitates for a few seconds longer before she lets out a breath and steps closer to my car. She pinches the edge of the sheet between her index finger and thumb and inhales before she lifts it. I don't know if she freezes the way I do when I see that blood stain again but the noise that leaves her is close to the ones I keep trapped inside my heart when I remember that day.

"I held him in my arms while he almost bled out," I say, my voice barely above a whisper as I speak. The memory of that day drags feelings up inside of me that I thought I'd buried. I never want to feel that afraid again but standing in the parking lot with Valerie, I know fear like I know my own name. "He was dying, Valerie. He… wouldn't have made it if I hadn't shown up."

Valerie steps back from my car, her gaze lingering on the backseat even though the sheet has fallen over the stain again. She lets out a sigh but won't look at me. She hasn't said a word since I spoke Danny's name and fear is ricocheting inside my failing lungs.

"He… told me that he's gonna stop this. All of it. You never… have to worry about any more shit from the phantom again," I mumble, hoping that some of what I've said penetrates through whatever the fuck these agents have taught her. I'm not some random person looking for a favor. I'm a friend. Begging another friend to help me.

She finally meets my gaze again and the look on her face makes me lose a breath. She looks just as scared as I feel but it's mixed with enough hurt to stir the guilt sitting comfortably in my gut. I'm sorry, Valerie. I'm so sorry.

"Please…" I whisper, taking her hand in my own, practically melting when she doesn't pull away from me. "I need you… to get rid of that… evidence. Th-The blood a-and whatever else they managed to get. Valerie, I don't have… I can't do it. Please, I… I need you, Val."

Valerie's eyes are filled with tears as she stares back at me and she still hasn't said a word. The ground is starting to shake beneath me as I picture her ripping her hand away from my own. Marching back into the government office and telling the agents she works for everything. I can see them showing up at Danny's house, dragging him out, doing more damage to him than he can handle, I can't deal with him being hurt, I can't fucking-

Her hand drops from mine and shatters the moment, a pained gasp leaving me. I can only stare back at her, brokenly uttering the one word my mouth remembers how to speak. "Please."

She suddenly drags me into her arms, a quiet 'fuck' mumbled under her breath and I can't stop from breaking. I tremble in her arms like I'm the one that's in danger, not Danny. But it's just my tangled-up heart that's in trouble. Cause I want him more than I ever thought I would. And I need him to be okay. I don't know how to be if he's not.

I know my weathered, beaten soul will never deserve his – not because he's made of starlight while I'm barely more than a blade of grass. But because he deserves to be with someone that can lift a match to the fireworks in his eyes and not burn to pieces in his light.

Danny deserves more than I'll ever be but knowing that I'll never get to hold his hand and call him mine isn't gonna stop me from protecting him. Even though he'll never lie in my arms and compare my eyes to the constellations in the sky above us, I'll protect him with everything I've got in me. Cause despite his starlight and my burnt out soul, I love him. More than any metaphor that I could ever come up with. And that's it. That's enough.


Valerie pulls away from me when my phone starts ringing. I only tug the stupid thing from my pocket to silence it but I make a face at the missed texts and the call from Kwan I'm currently ignoring.

"You should probably head back, huh?" Valerie asks, meeting my gaze when I lift mine back to her face. I think a thousand words are spoken in the one look we give each other.

I hate that the breath I draw in is shaky but I can't do anything to disguise it. And even if I could, it's not like she'd believe it for a second. She knows how scared I am. She knows that the thought of anything happening to Danny tears at me like it's my own life on the line. She knows I'm in way too deep with a boy I don't even have the right to call mine.

"Yeah," I mumble, running a hand through my hair as I try to think of what else to say. I don't know how to ask her if this is too much. I don't know how to question if she's on my side or not. If I've made a mistake and she tells the agents everything… then I just made this shit worse.

Valerie lets out a breath, putting a hand on my arm with the sound. "Drive carefully, okay?"

Shit, she makes this so simple. Like I could just give her a shitty grin, get in my car, and drive away. But it's not that simple. It'll never be that simple. Because all of this is for Danny. Because I'm willing to risk my friendship – I'm willing to risk everything for him.

"I will," I promise, grabbing her hand in mine before she has the chance to completely pull away from me. She hesitates a moment before meeting my gaze and I hope she hasn't changed her mind. I hope that she hasn't already reconsidered all of this. I need to know that she's still gonna help me. "Val, can I… Can I count on you?"

Valerie looks away from me and my stomach drops with the noise that leaves her. She slowly shakes her head as she looks back at me, offering up a small shrug as a response. "Dash… I don't know why he's doing these things and right now… I don't really trust him." She squeezes my hand in hers, swiping her thumb over the back of my hand. "But I trust you. And if this is important enough for you to show up here… then it's important. You know you can always count on me."

Relief courses through me and I can't stop myself from pulling her into another hug. She breathes out in my embrace and I mold her against my chest until I can rest my chin on top of her head, letting out a shaky noise. "Thank you," I breathe, feeling her quiet breath rather than hearing it.

She rubs my back a few times before she pulls away, offering up a small smile with the action. I'm quick to return it before we put distance between us and I dig my car keys from my pocket. I fiddle with my backpack, moving it from the passenger seat to the floor to give myself something to do, before I look back at Valerie. "Text me when you get home?" I ask and she nods, taking a step back from my car.

"You too. And when you get to school," she says, folding her arms over her chest to lock in body heat. She offers up another smile before I turn to my car, climbing inside and slamming the car door shut. I start the engine and get the heat running before I hear her call my name.

Valerie comes up to the window and waits while I roll it down. She darts her gaze to the backseat before she lets out a breath. "When did that happen?" she asks, slowly glancing toward it again with a nod. "The bloodstain."

I exhale out, my gaze dropping from hers. "A couple days before Thanksgiving."

Valerie whistles softly, her gaze on me when I look up at her again. "Try some bleach on it. It might fade the color of your seats but it should take out the bloodstain at least a little," she says, meeting my gaze again with a quirk of her lips. "Wouldn't want you to get pulled over or anything and have to explain that," she says with a snicker that's so her, I lose my breath for a second. Cause she sounds like my friend again and I'm not scared anymore. She's gonna help me with this. Cause she trusts me. She trusts me enough to go against what she's been going after for months.

I disturb the quiet I let us settle into with a heavy exhale, followed by a short laugh that relives the tension ringing in my bones. "Thanks, Valerie. For all of this." I roll up my window again when she nods and steps away from my car. She watches me pull out of the space and waves as I leave the parking lot.

My stomach's in my throat and my heart's on the fucking ground but I tell myself it'll be okay. With every mile I drive further away from her, I promise myself that everything's gonna work out. Cause Valerie trusts me enough to do this so… I can trust her too.


A/N:

Oh boy. The angst is really hitting Dash from all sides now, huh? ;p

Yoooo! Thanks for checking out this update, it means a lot to me. Hard to believe I haven't updated this story since last YEAR! … no it's not too late for that joke, shush

So Dash here has gotten himself into a sticky situation. If he trusts Valerie, there's a chance that the evidence the government has on Danny will be destroyed. But by telling Valerie the truth, he's gone behind Danny's back… but if it's for a good reason, Danny will understand, right? ;p Also how convenient was it to have Dash hear something that would help in this situation in his Biology class lmao

I'd love to know what you guys think of the choice he made here. Also can we talk about how I tortured Dash with that Skype call? Poor boy just wants to be near Danny all the time but I won't let him be

What do you think of Dash's father being nicer to him? Almost supportive in a sense? Do you think it's a genuine effort or is it just a waiting game until things get bad again in your mind? I'd love to know what you're thinking about that

The inspiration behind this chapter's title is Fall Out Boy's "From Now We Are On Enemies." The song is killer but the line really did me in when I was thinking about this update's title. There's a lot more in this song that I could use for future chapter titles but I felt that this line really fit this one

Anyway, thanks so much for checking out this update! I really appreciate you guys coming back every time and letting me know what you think. As always, you can leave a review here letting me know your thoughts or you can hit me up on tumblr

I hope you enjoyed this update and I'll see you for the next one!