An early Christmas/New Years' gift from your resident Jewish writer. ;)
I tried really hard, but couldn't incorporate all of your prompts – it was actually very difficult from a technical perspective, which I didn't anticipate. However, I think I managed to get most of them! I hope you have fun reading.
oooooooooooooooo
In a time not long, long ago…
In a galaxy, not very far away…
Well really, it's only about a year later in London: October 1999
Hermione watched as Pansy turned her head from side to side, eyeing her hair in the mirror.
"This is the most ridiculous hairstyle I've ever seen. And that includes your fuck-ups in sixth year, Brown." Lavender scowled and Pansy continued without notice. "What a waste of a hair extension potion." She curled her lip and patted the massive amounts of hair, now twisted into buns on each side of her head. "We all look like we have cinnamon rolls covering our ears."
Ginny snorted and flipped through the magazine Hermione had provided them for reference. "Well, there's this picture with the braid wrapped around her head. Do you want to try that instead?"
Lavender peered at the picture over Ginny's shoulder. "Why is she always wearing white?"
Pansy scoffed. "Virginal white."
Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest, feeling the need to defend one of her favorite characters. "I'm hardly blaming Princess Leia for the Madonna/whore complex. She's still badass. It's either white clothing from the first and second movies or the whorish metal bikini from the third."
All three women turned to face Hermione, eyes wide in interest. Pansy pointed a red painted nail at her chest. "You're holding out on us, Granger."
"It's October, you'll be cold!" Hermione protested. Seeing as the weather didn't phase Pansy, she added, "And look ridiculous."
"Warming charms," Pansy replied with a dismissive wave of her hand. "And I'll be the judge of how I look. Show me."
Hermione flipped through the magazine they used as a guide to style their hair until she arrived at the movie poster for Return of the Jedi.
Ginny raised her eyebrows. "Forget the white gown and cinnamon rolls. I'm wearing the whorish metal bikini."
"The fuck you are, Weasley. It was my idea."
"We're all wearing the same thing now," Ginny retorted.
Lavender took the magazine from Hermione. "Aren't there any other female characters?" she asked, flipping the pages back and forth to compare the varying hairstyles of Princess Leia's long locks.
"A few smaller side characters that hardly anyone will recognize."
"But the men have all these choices!" Lavender protested.
"Smurfette Principle," Hermione grumbled, becoming annoyed that their options were so limited. Dressing up had seemed fun at first. Maybe she should go as a male character and be done with it. Even Lavender couldn't get Hermione's wild curls to behave and form proper cinnamon rolls.
"What?"
"Never mind. I'm changing my costume." Hermione waved her wand over Princess Leia's signature white gown, transfiguring it into Mandalorian armor. After adjusting the fit, she conjured Boba Fett's signature helmet.
There was only one Boba Fett.
"You could go as a fighter pilot – rebel or Empire – or one of those Storm Troopers," Ginny offered. "They can't all be male."
"No. She can't," Pamela Proudfoot denied the suggestion, while shifting uncomfortably in her own Storm Trooper costume. Being one of the Aurors that had secretly trained Order members throughout the war along with Ignatius Savage, Dedalus Diggle and Voldemort's spy, John Dawlish, she was entrusted to guard inmates on Muggle outings. Her wand had been Glamoured to look like a blaster and was currently resting in a thigh holster. "Only Aurors are dressed as Storm Troopers. Else we won't be able to tell who's keeping watch over the war criminals."
"Fuck you, Proudfoot," Pansy sneered. "You don't know what it was like."
"I know exactly what it was like," Pamela spat in reply. "You think my family wasn't threatened by Death Eaters? All of the Aurors were targeted but you didn't see me groveling before a genocidal maniac. You should be rotting next to Dementors, not taking field trips. I don't care what your sob story is, or how old you were. You tortured people and committed murder just like those sitting in Azkaban."
The five women stared at each other in the tense silence. Nothing Pamela said was wrong, but Hermione, and many others, didn't think Azkaban was an effective solution anymore. Not after Grindelwald. Not after the First Wizarding War. And most definitely, not after this one. The inmates weren't reformed if/when released, mostly resentful, somewhat unhinged, many times completely broken and unable to return to society. Others of course, were cloying for revenge.
Aside from that, no one really knew whether fear of Azkaban was an effective deterrent or not. It was only assumed to be.
"This is an integral part of their Muggle Studies," Hermione tried to keep the argument neutral. "And we already know the Muggle Studies courses have been effective." The safe house at Pinner had been expanded to incarcerate the younger generation of Death Eaters convicted of violent crimes, away from Azkaban. Those lucky enough not to be in a situation involving murder or torture were sentenced to varying lengths of wand removal and probationary supervision. "The focus is reformation and re-integration for the younger generation because many were coerced and some underage. They can't reintegrate into society after being subjected to psychological tort–"
"I've heard the arguments and they're all bollocks," Pamela growled. Hermione remembered how the Aurors had protested in a rage over what they saw as the hypocrisy in Tonks's eight-month long sentence in Azkaban by the IOC. Pamela Proudfoot had been among the most outspoken for her friend and colleague. "Sitting with Dementors for a few years is a deterrent to dark wizards. Not coddling them and taking them to Muggle museums."
The hot button issues of the day had shifted. There was still talk of Muggle-born and Muggle inferiority; however, those views were rapidly declining in popularity and some in wizarding society were ashamed to admit they still held those beliefs. Introducing Muggle items to the Wizarding World and tax incentives for taking the Ministry approved Muggle Studies course was slowly but surely having its effect.
However, the main issue being discussed in The Daily Prophet was what to be done with Death Eaters, their families, and collaborators who were coerced, threatened and/or bribed. Not only that, the question of what do with Azkaban, the long established and relied upon criminal justice institution, rose to prominence as well.
"It's alright, Granger. I don't need your sympathy." Pansy retorted with a small smile. "Pamela here would prefer to go on a rampage like her friend. It's only murder if you're on the wrong side of the Auror badge."
Pamela's eye twitched and she laid her hand on her blaster. Pansy knew exactly where her words cut the most.
"We don't murder innocent people."
"Right," Pansy drawled. "Only teenagers forced into battle by wandpoint."
"We don't murder," Pamela ground out. "But we're not going to endanger ourselves when someone forced into battle by wandpoint threatens to kill us either. That's why there are rules of engagement."
"Maybe you don't, but Ton–"
"Can we drop it?" Ginny interrupted, her voice coming out a lot shriller than Hermione had ever heard.
Pamela faced Lavender, Ginny and Hermione, and her eyes hardened. "Forget the ethics of reformation and punishment for now. The Dementors need a source of happiness or they'll start feeding off our villages like they did centuries ago. That was the reason Azkaban was created in the first place. Better criminals than the rest of us."
"Well, the older Death Eaters are still there," Lavender offered.
"Mark my words," Pamela said, crossing her arms awkwardly over the plastic armor of the Storm Trooper costume. "You think you have a solution now, but it'll backfire. Once their sentences are up, the Dementors will leave Azkaban and start preying on all of us."
Hermione recalled Remus teaching her to throw off the Imperius Curse, and of learning from failure. The Wizarding World was poorer, not having the benefit of someone as wise as he was, who could balance differing factions and points of view. She had long learned from him to prioritize the problems she dealt with to prevent the crippling anxiety that came from tackling everything at once.
Wizarding society wasn't any different.
"Well, we have time before that happens," Hermione said with a lift of her chin. "There are more urgent issues to address in the meantime, and rebuilding is the main one. We can't do that if everyone who served Voldemort, even tangentially, is in Azkaban. Younger people especially, they come out as shells of themselves."
Pamela was about to respond but Ginny interrupted, pausing in the transfiguration of the white gown into the slave girl costume. "Look, there isn't a day that goes by where I don't see two empty chairs at my mum's table. I want to have fun tonight. Can we all pretend that the war never happened and we're just a bunch of Muggles going out to the cinema?"
Pansy and Pamela eyed each other angrily; a reluctant cease-fire hung between them.
"I'll do your hair like the picture with the metal bikini," Lavender offered, changing the subject. Ginny turned to her in relief. "It's a complicated updo with the braid but I can manage. Pansy, do you want me to style yours?"
Pansy and Pamela continued to glare at each other in silence, and then Pansy turned her sneer to Lavender, eying her wand enviously. She hadn't had use of her wand since the final battle. "Anything is better than the cinnamon rolls."
"I like them," Lavender replied, busying herself with styling charms as Ginny's long red locks, unnaturally thickened and extended via potion, began to unravel by themselves and form new braids and knots. "And I'll keep the virginal white gown."
"Whorish metal bikini for you, then?" Hermione asked Pansy.
"Always," she replied with a huff.
Hermione felt a warm sensation in one of the cargo pockets of her Boba Fett costume and pulled out her Galleon.
Where are you?
Still getting dressed and doing hair.
No lesbian orgy then?
You wish.
Constantly.
What is it with men and lesbians?
It's hot.
We'd be ignoring you and getting ourselves off.
So I'll wank and enjoy the show.
Maybe you could learn something.
Are you questioning my technique?
There's always room for improvement.
Says the woman who screamed so loud I had to recast my Silencing Charm.
You love it when I scream.
You love it when I make you scream.
"Granger, what are you doing?"
Startled, Hermione jumped to see Pansy eyeing her Galleon with a raised eyebrow.
"Nothing."
Ginny turned to Pansy. "She flirts with Malfoy on that Galleon."
Hermione couldn't compete with the reflexes Ginny honed by playing Seeker last year, and before she knew what had happened, Ginny had her Galleon.
"Hey!" Hermione protested while Ginny held the Galleon far above Hermione's reach. She grabbed her wand, but Lavender was quicker, wand already out to style Ginny's hair, and disarmed Hermione with a wide grin.
Pamela rolled her eyes while Pansy cackled.
Hermione turned on Lavender with a shriek and tried to pry her wand out of Lavender's grip while Ginny thumbed the Galleon. Pansy tugged the Galleon down, peered at it, and then burst out laughing.
Hermione growled and charged after Ginny who leapt up onto her bed.
"Give it here, Weasley!"
Ginny tossed the coin over Hermione's head to Pansy, who caught it one handed and thumbed the Galleon with a maniacal laugh right as Hermione barreled into her, knocking her onto the other bed.
"Oof!"
Pansy squealed a grunt as Hermione climbed over her body, straining towards the outstretched hand containing the Galleon. Just as Hermione was about to grab it, the Galleon whisked out of Pansy's hand and shot into Lavender's. Thoroughly frustrated, Hermione sat down on the mattress with an irritated huff and crossed her arms, watching as the three took turns laughing, reading each other's messages and sending more back to Draco.
"Are you finished yet?"
Lavender giggled. "Almost."
"How much damage am I going to have to repair?"
Ginny glanced up with a grin. "Don't worry, Hermione. He's totally into this."
"A lesbian orgy?" Hermione scowled.
Pansy scoffed. "Is he still carrying on about lesbian orgies?"
"Your boy wants to be smacked around and pegged," Ginny taunted, and held the Galleon out with a smirk. "You'll thank us later."
Flaring her nostrils in annoyance, she grabbed the Galleon and stared down at the glowing letters.
Right then. I'll tell Potter, Wood and Theo to assume the position.
ooooooooooooo
The troop of women walked around the back of the Cineplex to see the long line of Muggles, eagerly awaiting tickets for the entire trilogy, many dressed up in costume, and acting out their favorite scenes. Hermione surveyed her friends, almost all in costume, but couldn't find Draco. Blaise and Ron were fighting with lightsabers, each dressed as Han Solo. She narrowed her eyes. The lightsabers looked a bit too realistic to have been made solely from plastic and battery powered electricity. The Aurors didn't seem to notice.
Tonks approached, holding Teddy's hand. Both were dressed as Ewoks in full body costumes. Despite the eyepatch and scar across her face, mum and toddler looked surprisingly cute and wholesome. The ex-Auror appeared a lot healthier recently, and her cheeks had regained their color. Hermione had a suspicion that her new career had something to do with it. While the Auror office gave Tonks a dishonorable discharge before her sentence in Azkaban, MACUSA held a different view on Tonks' war tactics.
And promptly recruited her.
Hermione wrapped her arms around the padded bulk of the Ewok costume to hug Tonks, and she bent down to press a kiss on Teddy's cheek, which he returned, and smeared her with drool. "Every time I see you, I feel guilty for not facing the IOC."
Tonks lifted Teddy, supporting his weight on her hip. "Saving you from the IOC was the one decision I made in the war that didn't have negative consequences," she said with a wry grin. "Every time I see you, I feel guilty for not removing you as Draco's handler sooner."
"Don't be," Hermione blinked in surprise. "I don't know that we'd have made out so well otherwise." So much had happened since their spy/handler days. She grinned, thinking about her days working with Draco in the secret subsidiary branch of the Portkey Department. The excitement of new discovery was helping them just as much as their Mind Healers. "Things worked out alright," she added, grin widening.
"Yeah, they did." The scar running across Tonks' face and under her patch lifted up, but her smile wasn't as bright and cheery as in the days before the war. She was still mourning Remus' loss. Tonks continued with a smirk, "I've heard rumors that a few select Muggle governments will institute a separate level of classified information for their space agencies next year."
"Tonks!" Hermione shushed her, but she couldn't keep the smile off her face. The Ministry was going to collaborate with Muggle space agencies. It was a long road ahead absolutely mired in red tape. But only Kingsley, Arthur, Draco and herself were aware of the trajectory. "How did you even know that?"
"Eh. I've got sourc– Oi! Nott!" Tonks glared over Hermione's shoulder.
Theo jumped and turned around from where he was standing next to Bulstrode and Goyle, both dressed as Chewbacca, each flanked by Storm Troopers. His eyes widened in alarm.
"Give it here!" Tonks ordered him.
"Give wha–"
"Shut your gob and give it here!"
"I don't know wh–"
"Now," she commanded, and held her hand out. "Or I'll remove your bollocks with a spoon."
"Why do your threats turn me on?" Theo retorted with a flash of teeth.
"They won't if you have no testicles."
"Point taken," he nodded, dragging his feet as he walked reluctantly over to Tonks. Hermione watched curiously as he shoved his hand in his trouser pocket and reluctantly pulled out a gun.
"You brought that to a movie?" she whispered loudly.
"Robards!" Tonks called out. A masked Stormtrooper turned around and walked over, hand on his blaster. "Cover me."
The Auror blocked Tonks from view from the other Muggles in the area with his body and she surreptitiously waved her wand over the handgun, Vanishing it.
"That's the second one you've swiped," he pouted.
"Where do you think you are? Texas?"
Theo leaned in close to Tonks and waggled his eyebrows. "I'm beginning to think it's not just my gun you're after."
She glared at him. "Balls. Gone."
He leaned back, but looked supremely satisfied with himself.
"You know," Tonks turned to Hermione, pointedly ignoring Theo, "I was only four when the first movie came out, but I distinctly remember standing in line and a man in front of us bragging that he had already seen Star Wars in the theater twenty-three times. Twenty-three times!" Tonks repeated in disbelief, surveying the long line of costumed movie goers. "People are nutters."
"Says the woman wearing an Ewok costume," Hermione teased.
"The Ewoks are the best thing about the movies!" Tonks retorted with a light punch to Hermione's arm.
Hermione winced. That hurt.
"You're kidding me," Theo said, cracking a grin.
Tonks paused, and then slowly turned to face Theo. "No. I'm dead serious."
"The Ewoks?" Theo repeated. "Ruining what could be an otherwise darker tale? Are you telling me that a tribe of glorified teddy bears could defeat a space-age army?" He threw out his arms and Tonks' face darkened. "It made no sense! Storm troopers dying all around, but one sodding Ewok gets sixty seconds of bloody screen time to dilly-dally on his way through the veil."
Tonks lowered her voice. "Excuse me?"
Her voice sounded dangerous, more terrifying than the half-serious tone she used when she threatened to castrate him.
"George Lucas just wanted more kids buying his… uh…" Theo stuttered as Tonks bared her teeth, encroaching menacingly into his personal space. He continued explaining nervously, "Uh… buying his m-merchandise." Tonks reached out, dug her fingers into Theo's wrist and twisted as he released a high pitch shriek. Theo backed away in horror and she let go. "Fuck, you're serious."
Hannah Abbott and Ernie MacMillan, also dressed as Ewoks, appeared behind Tonks, flanking her sides.
"Say that again about the Ewoks, Nott," Tonks said in a dangerously soft voice.
Hannah cracked her knuckles and Ernie snarled. Teddy stuck out his lower lip in defiance. Theo looked over to see Neville standing behind the trio of Hufflepuffs, furiously making cutting motions across his neck. Theo gulped and glanced back down at Tonks.
"Well, uh… maybe the Ewoks aren't so bad."
"Aren't so bad?" Tonks repeated tonelessly.
Neville mouthed, 'Badass' to Theo from behind the trio of Hufflepuffs. He looked down at Tonks. "Badass," he said, his voice lilting upwards in question. "The Ewoks are badass."
"Say it again, Nott," she whispered with a sinister smile.
"The Ewoks are badass," he repeated with more conviction.
Tonks patted him on the chest. "Yes, they are." After giving Teddy a kiss on the tip of his nose, she turned back to Theo. "Enjoy the movies kids!" She walked away, Hannah, Neville and Ernie behind her.
Theo ran a hand through his hair, making it spike upwards. "Fuck me," he breathed, and turned to Hermione. "I really thought she was going to gut me in front of everyone. My wrist fucking hurts."
"It's best not to test her."
"Normally I like taking the piss," he glanced knowingly at Hermione.
"I'm well aware."
"But that was," he gulped. "They're vicious bastards."
"Hufflepuffs or Ewoks?"
"Maybe both?" he chuckled.
Hermione craned her neck, surveying the crowd. "Have you seen Draco?"
Theo quirked his thumb at a tall, brooding Darth Vader standing next to Blaise. "That arsehole?"
She swatted his arm and they walked over to Draco.
"Only a tosser like you would be arrogant enough to dress up as the Lord of the Sith," Theo taunted, puffing out his chest. Without replying, the costumed figure slowly turned to Theo, placed his hands on the plastic mask and lifted it up. Theo made a slight squawking noise as the chin length black hair of Severus Snape revealed his ex-Head of House, who raised an eyebrow in irritation.
"Nott."
"Oh. Sorry, Professor. Good costume choice. I'm ah…" Theo looked around, trying to escape. "I'm famished. Off to get food!"
Without another word, Theo turned on foot in search of something to eat. Snape nodded his head at Hermione and replaced his mask.
Hermione whirled around looking for Draco but couldn't see him among the crowd. How hard was it to find his tall, blond, brooding form? She thumbed her Galleon.
Are you here?
Yes.
Where?
No answer.
Hermione continued scanning the crowd of moviegoers, and weaved in and out, around groups of people, avoiding elbows and narrowly getting plowed over as a boisterous lightsaber fight broke out. Draco was nowhere in sight.
"Nice costume."
Irritated, Hermione glanced up to see a tall Muggle in a Boba Fett costume. Exactly like hers.
"Hmmph. So much for originality."
The costumed Muggle lifted the helmet and shook out his pale blond hair. Hermione smiled and stood on her tiptoes to kiss the smirking lips.
"Great minds think alike," he murmured onto her mouth.
She pulled back, eying him up and down. "You look pretty good in Mandalorian armor."
"I was hoping you'd come in the slave girl outfit."
Excited at the promise of some fun role playing, she pressed up against his body and offered, "After the movies?"
His hand slid down to rest on her lower back, and his fingers dipped underneath the waistline of her trousers. "Bring Pansy and She-Weasel, too. You can make good on the lesbian org– Father!"
Head jerking up excitedly, Draco broke away from their embrace and strode off, dragging her behind him as Lucius, Narcissa, Andromeda and Ted approached the crowd, accompanied by a Storm Trooper. Lucius had finally adjusted to life in Azkaban several months prior and stopped losing weight, but his frame was much thinner and weak looking than how she remembered him from the battle.
Draco made like he wanted a hug, but backed off when his father extended his hand. Hermione's heart broke a little when she saw Draco force a smile to cover his disappointment and shake his father's hand. It hurt to watch. Even though they seldom met outside Azkaban with the opportunity for physical contact, Draco wanted more affection than his father was willing to give.
Narcissa was free in her affection, eyes bright at the opportunity to be out with her husband. Even if it was to see a final showing of the trilogy before it was removed from theaters.
The Storm Trooper inspected Lucius after the contact to ensure Draco hadn't slipped him anything.
Narcissa eyed the Auror in distaste. "Is that really necessary?" The Storm Trooper was at least six inches taller than Narcissa, but somehow, she managed to look down on him.
"Yes, Madam. After every contact."
"Completely unnecessary," she sniffed. "If I'd slip my husband anything, it would be a vial of Baruffio's Brain Elixir in the hopes that brain damage would improve the Auror Department's competency. Will you examine his mouth each time I kiss him?"
Lucius' lips quirked.
"Madam," the Auror was affronted.
But Narcissa pretended the Auror didn't exist. She exchanged pleasantries with everyone, and kissed Draco's cheek before bending down to kiss Hermione's.
Lucius' eye twitched and he gave a curt nod in Hermione's direction. "Miss Granger."
Lucius tolerated her. Resentfully. He knew his role as the Malfoy patriarch had completely vanished, and he had little power over the direction of his family. He was bitter about how the wizarding world was changing, but could do nothing from inside Azkaban to change anyone's minds.
Least of all his son's or his wife's.
"Lucius," Hermione smiled, but it wasn't genuine. She could appreciate what he did for his family and felt badly for Draco and Narcissa, but he deserved every single day of his long sentence in Azkaban. Hermione's opinion of Lucius was one topic she and Draco did not discuss. She could hardly expect him to agree with her.
"It's good to see everyone together," Narcissa added hopefully, and turned to Andromeda, back facing the Auror as she defiantly took her husband's hand again, and kissed his cheek. The Auror sighed behind his mask. "I'm excited to see these… films?" her voice lilted around the unfamiliar word, "that you and Draco told me about."
"They're classics. We took Nymphadora to see them when she was little," Andromeda's tone softened as she recalled fond memories with Ted. "Over twenty years ago."
Narcissa fixed her gaze on her sister. "I wish Lucius and I had enough sense to join you back then."
"You're here now, aren't you?"
The two sisters shared a glance, and then Narcissa turned back to Lucius and stroked his hair. "We are."
Lucius' eyes darted between her and Ted. Still wary, still unaccepting.
Draco's mother was much more optimistic about Lucius' regard for the Muggle-born his sole heir was so devoted to, but Hermione knew better. Draco's father both admired and despised her. He knew his family was alive and safe because of her, but unless she and Draco separated, the Malfoy Pureblood legacy was finished.
"Let's do the assignment," Narcissa suggested as Lucius shifted his icy gaze from her to Draco. "What is it this time?" she asked, rubbing his arm and sneaking a triumphant glance at the Auror, who had resigned himself to not checking every time she touched her husband. "I learn something new each time you're out."
Draco insisted on letting Narcissa run interference between Lucius and Hermione and the Tonks family, and Hermione agreed. Narcissa's mastery of the art of diplomacy could have prevented both Muggle World Wars.
"A vending machine." Lucius spat the words as if they caused a foul taste in his mouth.
Narcissa looked to Hermione for help and Hermione led the Malfoys inside the theater, leaving the Andromeda and Ted outside. Draco explained the simple mechanics and they watched Lucius grumble, eyeing the vending machine like the remnants of a Blast-Ended Skrewt.
Draco approached. "I can–"
"No," Lucius sneered. "They'll know. The assignment is for me to successfully operate a vending machine, and I have no desire to repeat it. It can't be that difficult."
He narrowed his eyes at the coin slot and fumbled with the assortment of pounds and pence in his hand.
"They're not so bad, you know."
His father turned back to face Draco with a raised eyebrow. The sallow look on his face from nearly a year in Azkaban vanished when his snobbery returned. "Processed sugar and flavoring made on their… machines? I'd sooner drink the furniture varnish that masquerades as Firewhisky at the Leaky Cauldron."
"No," Draco continued, and cleared his throat. "Muggles."
Lucius stared at his son in silence, shifted his cold gaze to Hermione, and returned to peruse the colorful candy and chocolate options. She didn't know if he would ever change, but it had only been a year. The Muggle Studies program had been wildly successful with the younger generation.
Coins clinked as Lucius inserted them into the slot one at a time. After curling his lip in distaste, he chose a Flake bar. They waited while the whir of mechanical gears pushed the bar towards the edge and came to a stop. The bar was stuck.
Lucius rolled his eyes. "Even their machines fail them."
"Magic backfires too," Draco countered softly. "We're all human. Fallible."
Lucius' jaw clenched, but he didn't reply as he calmly counted out more coins from his pocket. Just as he was about to try again, Tonks appeared and banged the side of the vending machine with her fist, making them all jump. The Flake bar jostled forward and fell down.
"Come to Auntie Narcissa!" Teddy wobbled over to Narcissa's outstretched arms and she lifted him up with a big smile while Draco lightly tickled his cheek. "He's getting so big, Nymphadora!" she rubbed her nose on his. "Who's getting so big! You are! But never to big to hold you!"
Hermione's heart was light as a feather as she watched Narcissa and Draco take turns tickling, poking, pinching and kissing the pudgy toddler while he squirmed and laughed.
Tonks bent over with difficulty, the bulk of her Ewok costume made it hard, and extracted the Flake bar from the machine. Holding the chocolate out to Lucius, he recoiled. She shrugged, removed the wrapper, took a bite with exaggerated relish and handed it to Teddy, who squealed in delight.
"How's Azkaban?" Tonks asked after making a show of licking the chocolate from her fingers. "Even Muggle-made chocolate tastes better than the porridge they serve there. Any benefits from good behavior? They allowing you to take a piss by yourself yet?"
Hermione glanced at Draco and Narcissa, they were too preoccupied with Teddy and hadn't heard Tonks' taunting.
"The same as when you were there," he replied coldly. "Do you intend on ruining the evening for them?" He shifted his gaze to his family.
"You're right. I'm sorry." She didn't sound sorry at all, continuing to smile meanly at Lucius.
Teddy, also struggling with the bulk of his costume, reached out to Draco, face covered in chocolate. Grinning from ear to ear, Draco took the giggling toddler from Narcissa and took a bite of the bar, now shoved into his face.
Lucius observed Draco interact with Teddy, pure joy on his son's face, and stiffened his posture. "For what it's worth, I don't think you belonged there."
Tonks swallowed and after a few moments replied, "I did it for my family."
"Likewise."
The two stared in silence at one another and then turned to face Teddy, Narcissa and Draco. Tonks spoke softly without facing him. "I hope you think your choices were worth it."
Lucius eyed his son, and after a short silence where Draco struggled to chew and swallow while simultaneously taking another bite of the bar Teddy pushed past his lips, Lucius answered, "This one was."
Tonks had no reply. Without another word, Lucius straightened his shoulders, and walked away.
"Lucius?" Narcissa called after her husband. "Lucius?" Turning back to Draco with a small smile she chastised, "Your face is covered in just as much chocolate as Teddy's."
Hermione looked up to see that he did indeed have a smear on his upper lip and across his cheek. The results of Teddy force feeding him faster than he could eat.
Wordlessly, Tonks pulled a baby wipe out of nowhere and Narcissa wiped Teddy's mouth, chin and cheeks with practiced movements. Tonks held out another wipe which Draco took. He grinned, shifting Teddy's weight so he could carry him one-armed, and wiped his face. Teddy pouted, and Draco blew a raspberry on his cheek, re-igniting the squealing giggles.
A warmth spread up and outward from Hermione's chest when watching the two of them. She was quite unprepared for how content the sight of Draco playing with Teddy made her feel. On the occasions she caught Draco staring at her while she cuddled with the happy toddler, she knew he felt the same.
Patronus fodder.
Tonks leaned against the vending machine and sighed. She still sounded somewhat tired. Hermione wondered if the effects of staying in Azkaban would ever leave her.
"I never properly thanked you three."
Reluctantly tearing her gaze from Draco, Hermione glanced back to Tonks, "What for?"
"Being there for my mum, dad and Teddy while I was inside. And for visiting. Those visits meant everything. It was hard," her voice became tight. "Azkaban was hard."
Narcissa leaned over to place a light kiss on Tonks' forehead. "We're family now. Of course we'll be there for you. I'm going to find Lucius."
Narcissa strutted off, eyeing all the costumed figures in interest and sneering at the Aurors. Draco stared at his cousin. "We take care of each other, Tonks. You'd do the same. You already have."
The ex-Auror nodded. "I worried that Teddy would miss out on…" she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and closed her eye, turning her face to the side. "On active and involved male figures in his life."
Hermione's eyes burned, and she blinked away her tears, wishing Remus could be a part of the family they built from broken pieces after the war.
Tonks composed herself, sniffed and wiped her nose, looking up at them again. "But he has you and Harry. I couldn't ask for better role models."
A tear escaped Hermione's eye and she glanced at Draco to see his Adam's apple bob. With a wry grin he added, "What a horrible thing to say. I'm a much better role model than Potter."
Tonks huffed a laugh and Draco set Teddy down when he started wriggling in his grip. After running over to Tonks, mother and son walked away to rejoin the rowdy crowd of fans just as Theo and Pansy came from inside the theater, accompanied by a Storm Trooper, shifting uncomfortably underneath the full body costume.
Pansy held her head high at the male stares directed at her costume, acting as if it were her due, and yet pointedly not acknowledging any of them. Theo leaned on her, covering his mouth with a towelette.
"What happened?" Hermione asked.
"Tacos," Pansy replied with an eye roll.
Hermione raised her eyebrows. "I thought you liked tacos."
"I do and they were excellent," Theo croaked. Pansy shot him a scolding look. "I may have added too much hot sauce," he amended.
"Your stomach's too delicate," she said, gently wiping the sweat from his forehead with another towelette. "You're too delicate,"
"Am not. I'm an," he gurgled. "An alpha male."
Pansy snorted and held out a paper cup. "Drink the ice water, it'll help."
"But I am," he protested after obediently swallowing the water. "I mark my territory with piss."
"You do actually," Draco replied. "Right after your father went missing."
"Men cower before my penetrating gaze." Despite his sickly appearance, Theo leaned into Pansy's ministrations.
"Cower in hilarity?" Draco quipped
Theo shot him a half grin. "Star Trek is better than Star Wars."
Hermione gasped in mock horror. "You take that back!"
"There's no," he glanced surreptitiously around and continued in a stage whisper, "There's no Ewoks."
"An Alpha male scared of speaking in front of Hairymuffs," Draco's lips lifted mockingly. Then he paused, and glanced around, probably checking to see if any Hufflepuffs had heard the derogatory name.
Eyeing the vending machine, Pansy tilted her chin in its direction. "What's that?"
"A vending machine?" Draco replied, thinking the answer obvious.
Pansy scoffed. "I did the vending machine assignment three months ago. What is that." She repeated, pointing to a coin flattening machine.
"Muggles seem to love those things." Everyone turned around to see George wobble over, dressed in a Jabba the Hutt costume that Hermione was sure would have fallen into pieces if not for the obvious use of magic. Despite the presence of Aurors, everyone seemed to be playing fast and loose with the Statue of Secrecy tonight. "I saw some using it before."
Theo gulped down the water Pansy held for him and wiped his mouth. "You put in a large value coin and a small value coin, paying to flatten the small value coin and imprint it with a picture." George nearly tripped and fell over the bulky costume tail in his attempt to inspect the mechanics on the inside. "In this case," Theo bent over to look at the side of the machine, "it's the Star Wars logo. The coin is rendered useless. But you come away with a souvenir."
"A souvenir," George repeated thoughtfully.
Theo nodded, and the greenish tint in his face subsided as he explained. "With a one-time investment, the movie theater makes a pound every time someone wants to flatten a two pence coin."
"I could do this in the shop," George said, rubbing his chin.
"Wizards aren't as stupid as Muggles," Pansy replied, picking at her nails. "Who would pay 494 Knuts to smash a Knut?"
"Pansy!" Theo chastised her.
"Well, it's true!" she retorted, crossing her arms.
"Oh, I love these!" Ron bounded over excitedly, pulling along Susan, another Princess Leia look-a-like with the cinnamon roll hairstyle. "Give me one of those pound doodads and the coin with a two on it."
Susan fished around in her purse and extracted a few coins. "For what?"
"It's flippin' amazing! Watch!" Susan handed Ron the coins and they all watched as he inserted them and activated the machine. The gears creaked and turned and Ron bent over, bouncing on the edge of his heels in anticipation. The machine flattened the larger two pence coin to Ron's outward glee and deposited it where it could be retrieved.
Ron grabbed the coin and inspected it while squinting. "Look it's got Darth Vader on one side and the movie logo on the other!" With a whoop he ran off, abandoning Susan. "Harry! Ginny! Look what I've got!" Susan stared at them apologetically and followed after him.
"Alright," Pansy said, red lips curving upwards. "I stand corrected. Muggles and Weasleys."
Ignoring her barb, George stared at the coin flattening machine in thought. "If I bought that for the shop, I'd have it stamp our logo, but modify it so kids could pick different colors and flashing lights. Maybe a few choice impolite sounds."
"For that you could charge double," Theo added.
"Right," George agreed. "One galleon for the logo, two for colors, flashing lights and farting noises."
Theo turned and pointed at George's chest. "Five to make one of those Galleons Hermione uses to flirt with Draco."
"Hey!" Hermione protested. Did everyone know about them? Draco chuckled next to her.
"Genius," George nodded, sizing Theo up as if seeing him for the first time. "Problem is I've nothing to invest."
Theo looked taken aback. "What happened to the funds from your Order of Merlin? Wasn't your family compensated?"
"Barely. They didn't cover the damage to the Burrow, the shop and restocking. I had to take out a loan to cover the rest. I can't handle another loan, we're barely making ends meet as it is."
Theo shrugged. "I'll buy it. We'll split the profits fifty-fifty."
George snorted. "Sounds like a shit deal to me. I'm the one doing the work and supplying the location."
"You're right," Theo replied smoothly. "Eighty-twenty in my favor since I'm fronting the cash."
"You're barking."
"Most likely." Theo shoved his hands in his pockets. "Have you ever considered selling modified Muggle guns? They're fun to play with."
oooooooooooooo
Hermione and Draco stepped away from George, Theo and Pansy, leaving them to discuss future business ventures, and almost ran directly into Yasmin and Kingsley. Yasmin's posture was regal, and she wore the burn scars running from her left shoulder up her neck and covering half her face like a queen would fine silks.
The confrontation was awkward.
Hermione had Kingsley under her thumb. They both knew it. But if she ever threatened him, truly threatened him, Yasmine would kill her.
Albeit reluctantly.
Not that Hermione would threaten Kingsley. So far, he had been helpful in pushing her agenda of collaborating with the space agencies, and open to the long-term goal of combining the Wizarding and Muggle worlds again. There was no reason to threaten him. For now.
Yasmin narrowed her eyes at her.
Kingsley bowed his head slightly. "Hermione, Draco. Nice to see you both here. And in matching costumes?"
Yasmin flashed her teeth. "Draco is very fond of costumes. Has he told you, Hermione?"
She pulled Kingsley away and Hermione looked up to see Draco's cheeks redden. Her eyes widened as the blush spread up to his hairline. She had never seen him so embarrassed before.
"What was that?"
He coughed, laughed awkwardly, and then coughed again. "I told you, I was a sick fuck when I was fifteen. I wanked to everything."
She poked his ribs and he jerked, grabbing her wrist. "Which costumes?"
Letting her wrist go to run a hand through his hair, he looked to the side. "Never mind."
"Which costumes?"
"Let's start with the slave girl and go from there?"
"Now I'm cur–"
"Are they from the movies we're watching tonight?" Lavender appeared behind them, motioning to several movie posters featuring scenes from the trilogy.
"Yes, of course," Hermione replied, eyeing Draco with renewed interest. What fantasies did he have in mind?
"So, we're going to watch that?" Lavender pointed to a poster of the Death Star exploding.
"Yes?" Hermione answered, not understanding her fixation. "Your real-life explosions are much more impressive though."
"But Muggles need to make the explosions in order to film them."
Hermione swiveled around to see Lavender's excited brown eyes. "Are you thinking of a career change?"
"I am. My grades weren't high enough to work at the Romanian Dragon Reserve, but I could stage explosions for Muggle films."
"You're deranged, Brown," Draco drawled.
Lavender ignored him and tugged on Hermione's braid, loosening it. "He's just upset because you haven't pegged him yet." She flounced off before Hermione could retort and Draco flushed for the second time that night.
"Does everyone know?"
"You're not as subtle as you used to be."
Neither one of them Occluded anymore. Healers' orders. But Draco was so used to hiding his emotions that it was hard for him to accept that he occasionally let his guard down around others.
"I'm subtle," he retorted in mock offense.
"Your face is beet red."
With a bashful grin, he ran a hand over his face. "That bad, 'eh?"
She slid her hands around his torso, feeling his abdominals under the fabric. "I like embarrassing you."
"That's not all you like doing," he lowered his face to hers and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips.
"Very true."
They broke apart and he tugged on her hair. "Brown undid your braid," he said, fingers getting caught in her plait, and turned her around to face the crowd.
He hummed, and undid the hair tie, gently unwinding the curls and then regathering her hair. She allowed herself to sway backward as he pulled gently, running his hands over her head and braiding her hair again. She enjoyed the feel of his fingers, and his hot breath fanning atop her head when she caught Harry, Ginny and Ron watching them from amongst the crowd.
Draco was oblivious to her best friends' stares and continued tying back her curls into a neat braid. Harry shifted his gaze to Draco, concentrated on braiding her hair, lowered his stare back to her, and smiled. Ginny sighed dramatically, batting her eyelashes at Hermione and laid her head on Harry's shoulder. Ron rolled his eyes.
Despite it all, she was so lucky. She had her family, but Harry had to build his from scratch.
Harry knew what it was to love, and he knew what it was to be loved. That's all he wanted for himself, that's all he wanted for any of them.
Draco rested his hand on the back of her neck and she leaned into him, closing her eyes with a contented smile while they waited to be let into the theater.
His voice rumbled above her, disturbing her happy thoughts. "My father might die in there."
She reached for his hand, pulled it across her body, and squeezed. Lucius had deteriorated, but the odd mix of love, devotion and spite seemed to keep him in better condition than most.
"I don't think he will," Hermione offered. "He's doing much better than other inmates that have been in for the same amount of time. And the Muggle Studies course and frequent family visits have mitigated some of the psychological effects."
"I miss my friends, too."
Millie was going to be released from Pinner soon. Greg and Pansy's sentences were longer.
"We're going to be alright," she whispered as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "It's not perfect. Not by any means, but I think we're going to be alright."
His muscles flexed against her body, and she nestled into his heat.
"I'm not so sure," Draco rested his chin on her head with a sigh. "I don't think I can live with myself anymore. This blushing has to stop."
ooooooooooo
A loud cheer broke out and Hermione opened her eyes to see Ginny and Harry facing off, each with a light saber. She with her slave girl outfit, he dressed as Luke Skywalker. They held the lightsabers out, and circled one another.
As they approached, Draco called out, "She-Weasel handles that length better than you!"
That prompted some laughs.
"Fuck off, Malfoy!" Harry called back while Ginny swung.
Harry blocked her strike and thrust at her torso as she dodged. "Ferret-boy is right though!" she taunted, whacking him in the arse. "I can handle any length -Oh." Ginny bit her lip, briefly panicked as she parried Harry's thrust. "Are Mum and Dad here?" she called to Ron.
"No, they're inside getting popcorn. But I don't want to hear you blabbing about Harry's meat either. It's bad enough I have to see you dressed like that."
She stuck out her tongue just as Harry hit her upper arm. "I don't think you can take a sword of this size," Harry taunted.
"Size doesn't matter," she quipped, whacking him upside the head with a twirl. "Only skill!" She hit his leg. "Which you lack!"
Ron groaned. "Ginny!"
"Is that what you tell yourselves at night?" Theo taunted them.
"It's the girth that matters, not the length," Ginny replied with a cackle, as Harry hit her knee.
"For fucks' sake!" George cried out. "You're my baby sister!"
"So, Pothead lacks length, girth and skill, is what I'm hearing?" Draco smirked.
"He's very filling!" Ginny retorted, with a thrust to Harry's chest.
"Fuck me, I don't want to hear this!" Bill cried.
"But 'Arry is–"
"Don't encourage them, Fleur."
"The Chosen One has some Chosen Skills!" Harry smiled as his light saber collided with Ginny's with a crack of plastic.
"The Chosen One is referring to himself in the third person now?" Hermione snorted.
Ginny swung and watched in satisfaction as the impact broke Harry's lightsaber off the handle, clattering on the ground.
"The Chosen One chose the wrong weapon," Ginny quipped.
"Looks like a failure to perform," Draco said with a smug grin.
"No judgement here, it happens to the best of us," Theo added.
Ginny shifted her gaze to Pansy. "My sympathies, Parkinson."
Pansy narrowed her eyes as Ginny and Harry high-fived each other.
Hermione chuckled and looked around at the group of her friends. Her generation would make it, but they paid a huge price to get here. The happiness was true. Everyone was celebrating life, survival, and looking forward to a bright future. Hopefully one without divisive hatred.
There were still signs of trauma, if you knew where to search.
Hermione noticed how truncated the Weasley family felt. Ginny had looked around, almost expecting Charlie and Fred to yell at her too, but they never would again. George still turned to an imaginary person next to him, ready to share a joke, before remembering Fred wasn't there.
Her Hogwarts class was the smallest in 300 years; so many had died.
Although Teddy had male figures that would be involved in his life, he wouldn't ever know his father.
Minerva was gone. Hermione would never forget her courage in the face of so many Death Eaters.
Hot tears pricked her eyes. She wiped them away, but Ginny caught her in the act.
"Penis," Ginny whispered with a slow smile.
Harry looked at his girlfriend questioningly. "That's a bit too on the nose."
Hermione laughed and wiped her eyes. "Penis," she answered more loudly.
"I thought it was just innuendo." Draco looked around to see if anyone was staring.
"Penis!" Ginny called out.
Theo cracked a confused grin. "What are you–"
"Penis!" Hermione yelled back with a laugh. More people turned to face them.
"Penis!"
"Penis!"
"PENIS!"
"Vagina!"
Ginny and Hermione burst into loud guffaws.
"Amateurs."
They turned to see someone dressed as C3PO tsking and shaking his head.
He removed his helmet to reveal perfectly gelled and combed red hair and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses.
Ginny raised her eyebrows in challenge. "You won't win this time."
Percy extracted his wand and pointed it at his throat.
Hermione's eyes widened. "There are Aurors here!"
"Do you really think, after all that's happened, that the Ministry is going to punish a Weasley over something as silly as this? You ladies don't know when you can break the rules."
"You wouldn't dare," Ginny said with barely concealed glee.
"Wouldn't I?" Percy cleared his throat, cocked an eyebrow and whispered, "Sonorus."
"This is crazy!" Hermione grabbed Draco's hand and they ducked, covering their ears as the word 'PENIS' reverberated above the crowd.
Everyone was craning their necks and laughing, wondering who brought a megaphone. Percy looked around in incredulity just like everyone else. If she hadn't just seen Percy fucking Weasley trounce them all in The Penis Game, she never would have believed it.
And he got away with it, too. That sneaky little shit.
"Holy fuck," Draco exclaimed.
"I know. I can't believe he did that either."
"No! Over there!"
Hermione turned around to see what he was looking at. It was a movie preview poster picturing a boy walking, surrounded by desert.
"A poster for an upcoming movie?" She couldn't tell what he was excited by. "With… sand?"
"No. Look." He grabbed her shoulders, turned her bodily around to face the poster and walked her forward.
"I don't– oooooooh." The shadow behind the boy was in the shape of Darth Vader. "It's a new Star Wars movie!"
"It's a new Star Wars movie," he repeated. "Do you think it'll be just the one or a lot of movies?"
The two of them scanned the poster and Hermione read the title aloud. "'Episode I.' I bet they're making a lot of movies. Prequels from the look of it. Maybe they'll do sequels too." They stared in excited silence for a few moments, holding hands.
"God, I hope they're not terrible."
~fin~
Chapter end notes:
Yes, I really did end a behemoth war epic with dick jokes. :D
Just so you all know, there may humor in this chapter, but I'm crying right now. I'm going to miss writing this story, I'm going to miss sharing it with all of you. Our pandemic book club has been like therapy for the past year. Life has been really hard. It still is. My kids struggled a lot during school closures and we're still dealing with the psychological effects of that. This little world has been an escape to retain my sanity and I can't tell you how much it means that you've all come along with me, providing little bits of happiness along the way.
And I STILL can't believe how much of a readership this story has. Right now it's almost at 3100 kudos? That's insane! And there is a lovely translation team working on making this story available to Russian readers as we speak. I came out of nowhere, didn't know how to use social media, and only had one fandom friend when I started.
And now? Look at this! I can't describe how wonderful you've all made me feel.
And the comments. I said it in the previous chapter A/N but I'll say it again. I ADORE THIS COMMENT SECTION SO MUCH. You all are the best readers. The absolutely best. I feel like the luckiest person in fandom right now and your feedback has been a true gift. If you were in Boston, I'd invite you all over to my house for drinks in the backyard.
So what's next for me?
I have a ton of ideas (one-shots in the FWWL universe, epilogue part 3 to Blackmailed, a continuation to Draco's Body, some fic fests I want to do, a few multi-chapter ideas) but I need a break. The next few months I'd like to support the friends I've made along the way (you know who you are WIPtember and Jumanji crew!) by alpha'ing/beta'ing their stories, maybe gifting some fanart if it's good enough.
If you'd like to stay in touch, I'm chatty:
mistresslynndramione on tumblr
mistresslynn42 on instagram
Lynn Dramione on facebook
And mistresslynn#1535 on discord
So what's next for you? Would you like something excellent to read now that this is finished?
My beta, Bek_48, is the best kept secret in the Dramione fandom. You'll read her stories and be shocked that you've never heard of her before. If you liked the complex action-y plot of FWWL, you will love /works/28943325/chapters/71018049, Notorious. A trope subverting, cleverly told mystery/adventure that's Dramione endgame with a ton of morally grey characters.
Did I tease you with pegging without following through? (it's a bit of an inside joke between Bek and I) She's actually got the juevos to write that pegging porn, /works/31860313, Unforgiven, and it's one of the best one shots I've read. That's right, one of the best one shots I've ever read. By the time it's finished you'll be floored that it wasn't just pegging you've read, but a philosophical take on war and about four separate trope subversions while trauma fucking.
She's that good.
Happy holidays to those of you that celebrate. Hopefully we'll meet here again when I start writing in a few months. Much love to you all, thank you for making my writing experience an absolute joy.
