Chapter 3
He was impressive, she had to admit.
Completely unlike any ordinary child his age, Shisui needed no guidance and seemed comfortable using his initiative. There were no bursts of childishness or sparks of a naïve drive to prove himself that ultimately threatened to expose them to the enemy, though after a while Sakura found that although she appreciated his seriousness, she didn't like the lack of innocence in his eyes that undoubtedly made him that way.
The eyes were the window to the soul, after all.
What had he seen in his short lifetime?
Before separating from Team Minato, who had their sensei present for parts of their mission, she was handed one of Minato's specialised kunai. In return, he'd asked that she placed one of Katsuyu's seals on him also, saying proudly that Kakashi informed him of their plans. "Just in case," was all he'd said while pressing it into her hands and Gods, she couldn't forget the guilt and reluctance in his usually composed expression when they parted ways.
If anyone was to replace Sarutobi she wanted it to be Namikaze Minato. Out of everyone in the village, he was the most responsive, the most empathetic, towards others. He worked hard to make a change and protect their village. He wanted nothing but the best for not only his precious people, but everyone. To top it all off, Kakashi admired him greatly and trusted not just Minato's skills but his judgement also. And she trusted Kakashi wholeheartedly.
"We'll take a break here," Sakura informed Shisui after several hours of searching through the forest. They'd yet to find any signs of their enemy lurking or attempting to cross into their territory, and she felt comfortable resting for ten minutes or so as a result. "There's no use pushing forward if we're exhausting ourselves in the process. We're just going to end up creating openings for ambushes."
His nod was one of acceptance and as Shisui turned to take a seat amongst the roots of one particularly thick tree, Sakura lowered herself to the one directly opposite him, leaving a few feet of space between them.
The kid was pleasant enough, if not a little stiff in their interactions. They didn't talk much outside of mission details or her giving out orders, although she knew that to be the norm for the Uchiha Clan. Obito was the only exception she'd met as of yet.
"Here," she called out and before he even realised what it was that she was offering, Sakura was tossing Shisui a ration bar. He caught it effortlessly and blinked down at it in surprise. "Eat up."
"You don't have to–"
She gave a small smile. "I want to."
"…Thank you, Haruno-san."
With nothing to talk about, her mind wandered to Tsunade while they rested, and she wondered if her older cousin had woken from her alcohol induced sleep and read the note yet. There wasn't anything in particular on it – it was an affectionate goodbye note with an added promise of "I'll be home soon" to it. What worried Sakura was Tsunade's reaction to it, because without a doubt her cousin was going to be upset and feeling guilty about not saying goodbye in person or seeing her off. Sure Jiraiya was around for now, but he was surely going to be sent to the front lines soon enough, meaning he couldn't care for her as he had in the past. She truly was alone.
It made Sakura all the more determined to break the curse of her clan by returning home alive. She had to. For Tsunade if nobody else.
The thoughts of returning to Tsunade also brought forth the questions of who exactly Shisui was returning to. His parents weren't there to say goodbye, so she assumed that meant they were either dead or already on the front lines, though surely that meant Fugaku and Sarutobi were out of line sending Shisui out if the latter was the case? He was only ten, after all.
If not parents, then he definitely had that boy to return to. She couldn't ignore the image of his pleading eyes begging of the older Uchiha boy to return home. The clan heir Itachi seemed fond of Shisui, and she wondered if they were around each other often for them to develop such a bond despite the gap in age.
Her inquisitive thoughts were interrupted when a stray rabbit hopping out of the bush to her left had Shisui falling into a defensive stance with his sharingan activating instantly, hands twitching towards his weapons pouch before he realised there was no real danger.
Sighing, Sakura reached out for the rabbit but waited until it was tentatively sniffing her hand to offer it a gentle stroke on its head. They truly were out in the middle of nowhere for it to not display the usual distrust of humans.
"Relax," she instructed both of Shisui and the rabbit, smiling faintly. "Learn to sense the air around you."
"The air around me?"
It did sound a little vague when said back to her, Sakura thought with a chuckle. She looked to him warmly and said, "There was no killing intent in the air."
"Some shinobi are skilled enough to hide their intentions," he rightly argued.
"True. But not many can keep it up while launching an attack. More importantly, there were no changes to the air signifying an attack, such as distortions or smells," she informed him and leaned back into the tree. Her gaze was drawn back to the rabbit as it returned to its bush, disappearing from view entirely now that its curiosity was sated and her unannounced movements spooked it. "Your reflexes are impressive but being so tightly wound all of the time can make you paranoid."
She noticed that it took Shisui a couple more moments to relax back into his previous spot and she sighed inwardly, hating that as children, they were being forced to live such lives. Children were supposed to be carefree and happy, they weren't supposed to be involved in wars at just ten years old and jumping at the littlest of sounds.
While Sakura desperately hoped that there wasn't a repeat of the last war, that the children made it home, what would the mental scars be like? How badly would they all be damaged by what they'd seen and done? If Shisui was already nervously reacting to the sounds around them, would that be magnified? Would he develop some form of PTSD?
Was she overthinking it all?
Hell no. They were children. Their minds were fragile and weren't finished maturing yet.
"I've got your back," Sakura reassured Shisui gently.
He could only nod.
It was impossible not imagining it was Nawaki by her side as the hours dragged by.
Try as she might to remain focused, every time Sakura caught a glimpse of Shisui, Nawaki took his place. She imagined her cousin forcing himself to look like the tough guy, reassuring her that he was fine whenever she asked how he was holding up. She pictured him struggling to hide that completely natural and understandable fear of war and Gods, it stole her breath every time.
Was that how Nawaki really felt? For all his talk on being a man and being ready for war, he was just a child and he sure as hell wasn't ready to die. Had he acted in the same way as Shisui was currently?
They told her he hadn't a felt a thing. It all happened so fast that Nawaki was dead the moment the explosives were detonated. Body so mangled that even someone as wretched as Orochimaru advised neither she nor Tsunade view it, and very little got to that snake.
"Haruno-san?"
Clearing her throat as she found it to suddenly be clogged, she hummed, "What is it?"
Shisui brought them to a halt and turned to stand directly before her, and even with his haunted gaze and attempts to remain calm and composed, all Sakura saw was a child staring up at her and needing guidance. All she could imagine was Nawaki in Shisui's place, and his superior in hers. Trusting them with his life as he fought for Konoha.
She'd told Sarutobi their blood was on his hands, but really, if Shisui died his blood would be on hers. She would be the one who failed to protect him.
Stop it, she begged of herself and only just stopped short of slamming the heel of her hand to her head. Stop showing me these things!
"You're shaking," Shisui informed her politely, gaze directed at her hands that were, in fact, trembling. "Should we take another break?"
Considerate like Nawaki.
"No," she assured him with a watery smile. "We need to keep moving."
"We can spare five minutes."
Persistent like Nawaki.
Shaking her head, Sakura walked around Shisui and continued on ahead, knowing her point was made when the boy rushed to stay by her side. It warmed her heart how he never strayed too far, continuously stealing glances both at her hands and expression to make sure Sakura was able to keep going. She should have been the one taking care of him since he was her subordinate, but for those few seconds of her mind deceiving her, she could almost pretend like Nawaki was the one by her side and looking out for her.
Inwardly, she smiled at the reassurance and the calmness it brought her heart.
"So, why did they want to send you out?" she asked curiously once another patch of land was deemed as safe.
Being so deep into the forest meant they couldn't hear much in terms of battle or other squads, though Sakura knew not to let that comfort her or lure them into a false sense of security. Noise didn't travel all that well in such a dense area and they ensured to remain fully alert as they drew closer to the border, gazes sweeping to what little parts they could see in the darkness now that sunlight was blocked by the trees.
"I am the youngest user of the mangekyō sharingan."
Holy–
No way!
Startled, she looked to him in a state of disbelief that shortly made way for awe as he proved his words by activating said mangekyō, staring back calmly like it was no big deal.
Nawaki had admired all the Hokage, but Tobirama especially after he left such a mark on the village by going all out to protect it (no matter how heatedly she and Tsunade disagreed with his views, they never succeeded in making him see sense). Due to his admiration, he'd always had something of Tobirama's in his possession, whether it be a scroll, personal item or his research.
After his death and in a sad attempt to feel closer to her cousin (wishing when it was all too late to understand his admiration just a tiny bit), she'd borderline obsessively read through everything Tobirama had to offer – even hounding Jiraiya requesting forbidden scrolls until he relented and worked his magic on Sarutobi.
The majority of his research focused on the Uchiha Clan and their abilities. While certainly interesting reads, Sakura was quick to determine a great deal of the material to be biased, especially after Tsunade filled in the blanks about how viciously the Uchiha Clan and the Senju Clan fought before Konoha was established. Too close to the case after losing the lives of his loved ones at the hands of the Uchiha, it showed in his terminology and notes.
One interesting piece that was hopefully unbiased was the details on the sharingan and how it manifested after great trauma.
It certainly explained why Shisui didn't possess that innocent look most children wore.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Sakura murmured, frowning.
"How did you…?"
She sighed at the question. "My great-great uncle was invested in your clan. The sharingan is a manifestation of chakra following trauma, right?" She offered a small, painful smile at his nod then asked, "What's more traumatic than losing someone you love?"
Looking to her with his own frown, Shisui questioned quietly, "Have you lost someone too?"
Everyone.
"My older cousin, Nawaki-nii," she replied, commending herself on managing to keep her voice clear while saying his name. Sometimes she could barely even think it without that godawful ache in her chest squeezing so tight she couldn't breathe. "My parents, too."
"I lost my parents too," he admitted and returned his attention to the rocky terrain threatening to trip them. "Then my friend."
"I'm sorry," she repeated earnestly.
They'd both been dragged through the ringer, Sakura thought sadly.
Bumping her side into his and causing him to look up at her in surprise at the gesture, she told him, "We'll make them all proud."
And then her heart lurched at the sight of his first genuine smile, the wary hope in his eyes hardening her determination to protect him with everything she had.
"Yeah," he agreed enthusiastically and finally grinned.
She simply hoped it wasn't necessary.
"Clear over here," she announced.
They were officially into enemy territory by that point and she couldn't deny that the knowledge made her tense, despite the previous advice given to Shisui. Every noise was beginning to get to her, and it'd been a while since her heart had beat a steady, normal pace.
At any moment, they could be targeted by the enemy – the kid in particular, given his surname and abilities. Other villages were desperate to get their hands on the sharingan and byakugan and there he was, a seemingly defenceless child ready to be taken. Of course he wasn't defenceless, but he was just a child irrespective of what he'd been through.
She hated Sarutobi for putting them at such risk.
Pressing up with her hands to her knees, Sakura glanced over in the direction Shisui was investigating. Being separated from him made her antsy as hell, especially with how extraordinarily quiet he was, but she reminded herself that the kid was insanely talented. Having the mangekyō at such an age was…
Shit. She still couldn't wrap her head around it.
"I've found something."
Regardless of his being insanely talented, Sakura followed his path quickly and without a flicker of hesitation, heart once more palpitating with fear. Attention darting around the area she shot through, she ensured there was no one lurking, comforted by the continued noises of wildlife surrounding them. Everything was ordinary – even Shisui's footsteps were covered expertly and forced her to rely on her senses to finally find him.
Oak trees had long since made way for large bamboo that towered over her and Sakura's stomach sunk realising how far Shisui had strayed. They were on the verge of crossing paths with Team Minato if they weren't careful and they couldn't, in any way, jeopardise their mission (whereas she and Shisui were ordered to search the area for enemy, it was more to backup the other team's mission to ensure it went smoothly and without interruption). It was vital for Konoha's success in the war, for they had the daunting task of destroying Kannabi Bridge – Iwa's only pathway for their supplies. They–
Wait.
Frowning and retrieving her map, she double checked the path she'd taken and even placed her finger to the parchment to make sure she wasn't straying off course. While still worryingly close, they were technically still in their own section. Which meant…
"Looks like another team has moved into our territory," Shisui explained from his kneeling position, fingertips grazing the footprints. "They're being sloppy, though."
"They might be injured," stated Sakura uneasily. Looking in the different directions they'd headed in, she murmured, "Looks like whoever it was separated at some point."
But why were there only two sets of footprints that seemed to exit the area? Teams typically travelled in three-man cells.
The questions were shoved to the backburner when a familiar young pug burst through the bamboo hurriedly only to try and come to a skidding halt when he belatedly realised that he'd already found his target. He ended up tumbling into her legs and Sakura grimaced at the slamming of the poor dog's nose to her shin, though knew not to reach out and coddle him. Kakashi was strict with his training and his first summon had a long way to go.
"Pakkun," she greeted seriously and inwardly commended the pug for shaking off his pain and falling into line. It was only then that she noticed the strip of material from her pyjamas wrapped around his paw, no doubt to help Pakkun remain on task and track her more easily. "What happened?"
"Rin was taken by the enemy," he wheezed, but fortunately managed to compose his panting a few moments later. "Obito rushed off."
She held back her disappointed sigh, understanding now why the two sets of footprints went in different directions. They were Kakashi and Obito's and while the latter undoubtedly immediately gave chase to try and save Rin, the former was a stickler for the rules and would have continued with his mission, even at the cost of his friends' lives.
Stop trying to unnecessarily make up for your father's brave actions, she mentally yelled at him.
"Lead the way," she ordered and nodded once to Shisui, informing him simply, "We're going after them."
They were too late.
She was too late.
Even when movement felt impossible, she managed to put one unsteady foot in front of the other like she was on autopilot, stomach churning horrendously at the harrowing scene they'd rushed to.
How…?
Her eyes stung so viciously that sight was nearly stolen from her, but somehow, Sakura remained focused on Obito as the boy lay motionless, trapped, beneath the boulder. What struck her the hardest was his ability to continue smiling just as he always had, completely unperturbed by the agony she knew he could no longer feel. Shock was definitely kicking in, though how anybody could remain so calm beneath a boulder was insane to her.
It wasn't even like she could smash it to pieces – it would cause more harm. The pieces could…
Could what? Puncture something? What the hell was even undamaged by that point, aside from his heart possibly? He should have died instantly considering half his skull was beneath it also.
What the hell happened?
"Sakura…" came Kakashi's broken plea of her name once he realised that she was there. "Is there…?"
Hearing the raw fear and grief in his voice threatened to shatter her already shaky composure and it took her a moment to realise she was sucking in sharp breaths that made her chest ache.
What if Nawaki…?
What if it hadn't been instantaneous for him? What if her dear beloved cousin – no, her older brother – had suffered like Obito was currently suffering? Whether he was feeling any pain or not wasn't the point. Obito knew it was over for him. She could see it in his eye. He knew he was dying. At just thirteen years old.
Just like Nawaki.
No.
No!
Sakura skidded down into the collapsed ground with that powerful rage that overshadowed everything else, vision blurring around the edges as she viciously damned Sarutobi Hiruzen to the deepest pits of hell for all that he put them through.
No more children were dying for their village.
He wasn't killing anyone else she cared for.
She came to stand over Obito who could barely even concentrate on her by that point, clearly only clinging to consciousness out of sheer stubbornness. Unlike any other time they crossed paths, they didn't trash talk one another, didn't offer a single smile or word. She didn't even look at him – or acknowledge the others as they hovered – for fear of it shattering the rage she usually directed at Sarutobi.
They were all going home.
Gritting her teeth and screwing her eyes shut, Sakura stunned them all with her raw display of desperate strength. Fingers grew blood within moments of crunching into the boulder unforgivingly and she heaved with a vicious growl even as vomit clogged up her throat, features flushing red as she put her all into saving the child laying crushed beneath it.
They were all going home, damn it!
"Rin-chan," she snapped through clenched teeth, uncaring for the unladylike expression she was sporting. "Stop the bleeding."
"What can I do?" Kakashi half-begged, half-demanded.
"Unravel all our scrolls," Shisui instructed before she spent any more energy explaining the plan. Gods, she was so thankful that he knew what to do. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out for and she damned herself when her sandal slipped in the damaged ground. "We'll create a makeshift gurney."
C'mon, she demanded of herself when she began to grow lightheaded. Just a little bit longer!
"It's going to be okay, Obito," Rin assured him, the green glow strong and determined. "We're all here. Focus on us."
"R-Rin…"
Save him!
Her muscles screamed in protest the longer she held on, and she knew from the tell-tale heaviness blanketing her that she was going to pass out if she didn't regulate her breathing. But it was impossible. If she exhaled in that moment, she was going to drop the boulder on him or herself. She couldn't. She couldn't. She had to save him.
Shannaro!
"We've got him," Shisui announced with palpable relief. "Haruno-san–"
She didn't even realise she was crying until the boulder left her grasp with a thunderous crash that reverberated in her mind and instantly, Sakura was on her knees and covering the blood soaked ground with the contents of her stomach, entire body shuddering and convulsing with the intensity of her vomiting.
Bursts of monster strength while battling was one thing, but lifting and maintaining the hold of a solid boulder thrice the height of her and who knows how wide, forced to allow it to rest somewhat on her chest, was a whole other thing that she just…
How the hell had she even done that?
The tremors had yet to subside even when Shisui tentatively grabbed her shoulders to ease Sakura back onto her haunches, and she glanced to him through her watery vision when he urged her to look his way. A canteen was being pressed into her hands insistently, but she couldn't focus on it over the ragged breathing to her right, knowing from that alone that the battle wasn't over yet.
What the hell did she do? How could she save a guy who'd been crushed? Medical-ninjutsu was impressive but it wasn't magic. They couldn't save everyone.
But she had to try.
Obito wasn't joining that list. He couldn't.
Her reserves were… They were nearly full, meaning if she really needed to, she could rely on her Byakugō no In. She could activate it for the very first time and perform Sōzō Saisei. However, Sakura wasn't sure how to perform it on another person. She needed guidance–
Katsuyu!
Hands shakily flying through the hand signs, she used the blood from her mangled fingers to summon a considerably large piece of Katsuyu's body. It was enough to surge them all from the ground as they clung desperately to her head, Rin and Kakashi clinging to Obito and attempting to keep him as still as possible as the change in pressure had him passing out – the only reason no one was overly startled was due to the severity of the situation. They didn't have the time to be afraid. They had to save him.
"Katsuyu-sama," Sakura greeted hurriedly, thickly and she knew from the silence that met her that her summon understood it was important. "I need your help to heal Obito – he's badly injured. Please, help us save him."
She almost sobbed with relief when her body separated directly beneath his motionless form, Katsuyu's reassurances of Obito being safe within her body silencing Kakashi and Rin from making any further objections. Thankfully, Shisui helped her in meeting her summon halfway and Sakura placed her hands on either side of the smaller version, able to sense just how severe Obito's injuries were.
"I'm not sure how he's even alive," Katsuyu murmured honestly to her. "But we must get him back to the village immediately, Sakura-chan. Without your Byakugō no In being activated, there isn't much we can do out here. I am unable to channel such a large amount of chakra from you – your ordinary chakra reserves are too small for this procedure."
There was muffled crying behind her that she could only just place as Rin's, drowned out by the expectant stares fixated on her and Katsuyu. The pressure was intense and she felt as though she was suffocating under it. It didn't help that time had yet to slow down for her, everything rushing by in flashes of blood, mangled flesh and sobs.
"Sakura-chan," urged Katsuyu, tone tinged with concern and desperation.
Focus, damn it!
"Y-You…" The shaking wouldn't stop, not even with her holding onto her summon. "Reverse s-s-summon…"
"Minato-sensei," Kakashi realised, relief flashing in his eye. It was only then that she noticed the shoddy bandages slapped over his left eye, but there was no time to focus on it as she felt the dip in Obito's vitals. "Sakura marked him with a seal."
Why couldn't she focus?
It was like she was trapped in her own mind. Banging and screaming to be released, to put herself to use and save Obito's life. But it was pointless. Nothing she did was breaking her out of her panicked mind, leaving Sakura to stare at Katsuyu's smaller body with wide eyes and heavy panting that made her lightheaded.
What the hell was wrong with her?
Of course, had she been looking at the situation as a medic – no, better yet, had it been another in her position and she was the one diagnosing, then Sakura knew exactly what was happening. Classic trauma. Anxiety. Maybe some kind of PTSD knowing her luck. Alas, that wasn't the case. And so she kept hyperventilating, continued shaking, could only picture it was Nawaki within Katsuyu's body who was suffering.
And just like back then, there was absolutely nothing she could do.
All she could do was wait.
"Sakura-chan," Katsuyu repeatedly called her name to try and get through to her. "Sakura-chan, breathe."
Nawaki-nii…
"N-Nawaki-n-nii…!"
Was this how Tsunade felt on a daily basis?
Whoever grabbed her suddenly was her lifeline in that moment and Sakura showed her gratefulness for their support by sobbing into their chest. In her mind, the hands that came to her shoulders weren't wary, they were soothing. It wasn't uncertainty that had the person hesitating before holding her close, it was concern and she soaked it all in greedily. And when it felt like the embrace wasn't tight enough and that she was about to unravel, she told them as much through her gestures of squeezing closer, thankful when they understood and quickly obliged.
"It's not him," came a careful reminder in her ear, and it was only then that she realised Kakashi was the one comforting her. "It's not Nawaki-san."
Had she been saying his name out loud? "N-Nawaki-nii–"
"Nawaki-san is gone, Sakura," Kakashi reminded her lowly. "They're both gone. But Obito isn't. He needs us right now."
Both…?
His father.
Belatedly, Sakura realised she wasn't the only one shaking in fear and anguish and she peeled back by only a small amount to look up at Kakashi's despairing features, the edge of his mask darkened by the tears that seemingly couldn't be stopped.
As always, Kakashi understood.
"Breathe," he ordered, and she kept her fearful eyes fixed on his equally wide one, thankful that he didn't loosen his hold one bit. "Breathe with me."
The breathing techniques didn't help. Not really. But knowing Kakashi was also struggling in that moment, that he understood perfectly what was going on inside her messy mind, allowed her to relax ever so slightly. She wasn't going crazy.
"Minato-san understands the situation and is on his way," Katsuyu informed them. "He will teleport using the kunai he has given you, Kakashi-kun."
He didn't look away from her until he was certain she could handle it and for that, Sakura was grateful, especially when Kakashi seemed to understand she couldn't handle letting go just yet. Instead he kept one hand on her bicep, grip firm and reassuring and keeping her grounded.
Fortunately for Obito's sake more than anyone's, Minato didn't waste any time when he arrived. He took a swift couple of seconds to assess the situation and bundle them all together, speaking in clipped sentences of the risk they were taking by travelling in such a large group as he'd never done it before. Too traumatised by the events that had transpired, nobody argued or showed any fear. It seemed like her, their minds were simply done.
They all just wanted to go home.
"Everyone grab onto me as tightly as you can," Minato stated seriously, already placing one hand on Katsuyu and the other through her body to no doubt hold onto Obito just in case. "Prepare yourselves. We're taking him straight to Tsunade-sama."
Tsunade.
Relief almost overwhelmed her.
He would be okay.
Nawaki–
No, she snarled at herself with annoyance. It wasn't Nawaki.
"K-Keep him in Katsuyu-sama's body," Sakura managed to warn thickly. She slumped back into Kakashi's chest though maintained as firm a grip as possible on Minato's leg, the material of his pants crinkling and spilling over her shaky fingers. "She can't… see blood after…"
Understanding and concern shot through his blue gaze before they narrowed and Minato nodded once. "Understood."
"Sakura!"
She should have known no matter how the news was shared, Tsunade's anxiety would twist it in her mind and have her fearing the worst. That was proven for all in the room as the blonde faced her fears head on and entered the operating room for the first time in years, clearly overwhelmed but fighting through it until she found Sakura leaning against Katsuyu weakly.
That struggle… Gods, she could understand it. For the first time ever, Sakura felt like she could truly understand how badly Tsunade struggled. But why now? Why not when Nawaki first died? Or when she healed or lost other patients? Was it tied to the war, she wondered? Was her mind tripping?
As per her instructions, Obito remained in Katsuyu's body and until Tsunade's arrival, the slug was reluctantly channelling Sakura's ordinary chakra to start the healing process.
As they should have expected from a seal and a jutsu that was rushed to completion, she was unsure how to use it all to its full extent, seemingly still in need of storing away more chakra before her second reserves were full. That was the best way Katsuyu could describe it, anyway. Her seal needed more nurturing before it reached full capacity and until that happened, they were unable to access the reserves.
"I'm okay," she assured her older cousin as Tsunade dropped to her side.
The stench of sake saturated the air between them but she pretended not to smell it, instead smiling reassuringly when hands faltered in the air before grabbing her shoulders first, then the sides of her face delicately. All the while, Sakura was unable to look away from the sight of Tsunade's relieved tears, the shaking of her shoulders and chest giving away to the others just how badly effected she was. It amazed her to see such vulnerability in front of outsiders.
"When I got the news, I couldn't… I thought…" Barely even able to choke back her sob, Tsunade yanked Sakura to her and finally, finally, she felt like she was home. Kakashi's comfort was great and more importantly wanted and welcome, but Tsunade's was on a whole other level. It was what she needed more than anything. "I'm so glad you came home, little cousin."
"I'm sorry to intrude, but Obito needs urgent medical attention," Minato urged as gently as possible.
Sakura nodded and inwardly chastised herself for being selfish at such a dire time. Hands coming to Tsunade's arms, she separated them carefully, knowing exactly how her older cousin could react to such a request.
"I know you can't heal right now," she began quietly, brow puckering at the flash of fear in Tsunade's eyes. "But…" Chin dimpling and tears starting afresh, she begged brokenly, "But my friend really needs you, Tsunade-nee. He was badly injured a-and I don't know how to help him. Please. Please, help him."
Warily, almost like she didn't want to look at their mutual summon at all, she asked croakily, "Is he…?"
"Yes, Tsunade-sama," Katsuyu responded, head and tentacles dipping. "I can heal the majority of Obito-kun's injuries without you having to see him, but I will need you to activate the healing network."
Relief shot through her amber gaze and she nodded determinedly, allowing Sakura to assist her to the ground properly. She situated her older cousin directly in front of Katsuyu, heart palpitating with hope and relief when Tsunade shut her eyes in concentration. Knowing she could potentially be in the way, Sakura backed up and offered Minato a faint smile he returned warmly, hand coming to her shoulder and giving a reassuring squeeze.
Up until Tsunade's arrival, he'd shown her a whole new side to him as he paced the operating room with palpable concern for his student's welfare. The others seemed equally surprised to see the new side to him but somehow appreciated it simultaneously, and Sakura didn't fail to notice how Kakashi also gravitated closer to his sensei, silently seeking comfort in his own strange way.
"We'll begin now," Tsunade and Katsuyu murmured together.
Had she not been so exhausted, Sakura would have lingered to see the remarkable sight of the healing network in use, to see her cousin finally returning to her greatest passion. However, she knew medics were no good half-dead or even worse, with fried minds, and so she thanked Shisui for assisting her out of the operating room, the whole of Team Minato remaining behind.
"Haruno-san?"
Patting his shoulder once, she inhaled a shuddering deep breath before leaning against the nearest wall, eyes shutting in relief. Both at their survival and Tsunade's step in the right direction. Obito couldn't have been in safer hands than her cousin's.
She was doing it. She was healing again.
"Obito-san will no longer be useful as a shinobi, will he?"
Sadly, she shook her head though couldn't vocalise it just yet. All she wanted in that moment was to hear that he'd pulled through. Shinobi or not, she wanted him to live. That was all that mattered.
The sweeping of the doors opening once more had them both looking to the operating room, and Sakura straightened out of respect when Minato left abruptly.
"Did something happen?" she demanded. "Is Obito…?"
"Tsunade-sama is certain he will survive," he assured them both. "However, I have to return to the mission. Kannabi Bridge is still intact."
As she was, she would be of no use to him. Her mind was too unpredictable and chakra completely spent. She'd only be a liability. However, she knew that Shisui still had relatively full reserves and he'd assured her several times since returning that he was okay and uninjured. Just shaken up.
Her main concern was how his clan would react to his returning home so soon after pushing so hard for him to be deployed. Would they push once more? Would Sarutobi put him on the front lines to appease them?
Like hell.
"If Shisui-kun is okay with it, I would like for you to take him with you," she suggested bravely and stepped forward. "I know he'll be safe with you."
Please see the deeper meaning, she implored with her eyes. Please don't make him report back to Sarutobi and his clan yet.
Minato faltered just before agreeing, and she felt her heart warming as he perfectly read what her concerns were for Shisui. Sakura could tell by the way he knowingly nodded, the flash of understanding mixed with disappointment and determination.
"What do you say, Shisui-kun?" he asked with a smile. "Care to assist me?"
The young boy seemed stunned before he nodded quickly, breaking her heart by shooting her a look filled with relief and gratitude while approaching Minato and placing a hand to his arm.
She could tell by that look that he'd feared being sent out again too.
Hopefully having a part in destroying Kannabi Bridge was enough to appease the others. Fugaku could brag about a ten year old prodigy in his clan taking out Iwa's only road for supplies, and Sarutobi could potentially end his stupid war.
Yeah, right. If only.
Sakura highly doubted that either of those stubborn Kage could back down at that point. The war was already vicious and she had the feeling they were in it for the long run. Hell, she was probably going to be sent out again in the next few days.
Could she really handle it, though? Mentally. Could she handle it? Sakura didn't think so. She sincerely didn't. War was filled with casualties even more gruesome than Obito's – not that it was the type of injury that got to her. Any one of them could be Nawaki and she just…
What if she wasn't surrounded by friends? What if the enemy stumbled upon her in such a state? Gods, she'd gotten so lucky. So incredibly lucky.
"Sakura."
What was wrong with her? How long had she been lost in her head for? Wearily, she blinked through the haze that had blanketed her and found Kakashi standing barely two feet away, features relieved but pained and she knew instantly why. Obito would survive his injuries – Tsunade's prowess, particularly when combined with Katsuyu's abilities, was otherworldly – however, he would never be one hundred percent. Hell, he'd be lucky if he could even walk again after what happened.
It took a few moments to notice Rin lingering at the end of the corridor, watching them silently until they met each other's eye. Sakura opened her mouth to reach out to her in some way, but words failed her. It didn't even seem like the brunette wanted to talk anyway, for she was gone barely a second after their eyes connected.
All wonderings about Rin's almost cold attitude snapped straight out of her mind when arms came around her without warning, crushing Sakura to a chest she recognised by the scent that flooded her senses. Neither of them could talk but she preferred that. Emotions were running too high for her to be able to formulate a single coherent sentence never mind conversation. So she held on just as tightly, burying her forehead into his shoulder in the hopes it would help banish those dreaded, haunting images from her mind.
"Thank you," came Kakashi's gruff whisper. "Thank you for saving him."
Don't thank me, she wanted to yell – to scream – back at him. I don't deserve it.
Everything was a blurred mess to her. Did she save Obito because he was Obito and innocent and deserved to live? Or had she saved him because her twisted mind truly thought it was Nawaki? Sakura couldn't even tell. One minute she was looking at Obito, the next Nawaki. Then all she saw was Nawaki.
Who was she trying to save back there?
Was she a bad person for not knowing?
Unable to voice the concerns, Sakura eventually leaned back out of Kakashi's grateful embrace and smiled weakly. Like herself he was at a loss for words and they both heaved a sigh of relief suddenly, laughing at themselves for their awkwardness.
Two damaged souls. Two haunted minds. Two broken hearts.
"Thank you," Kakashi repeated earnestly. "He's a loser and a pain in my ass, but…"
Swallowing down the guilt threatening to suffocate her, Sakura replied with the first thing that came to mind. "Life would be too boring without you two going at each other."
"…Yeah."
"Sakura."
She was thankful for the interruption and looked to Tsunade, heart warming at the self-pride written all over her features though it gradually made way for relief once more at the sight of her. The pause in the doorway allowed for the blonde to take in the sight of her, alive and physically well and Sakura's shoulders slumped, too wrapped up in the whirlwind of her mind to take note of the knowing glint that soon entered her older cousin's eyes when she purposely directed her attention to the embrace, a single eyebrow arching.
"I think I'm going to head home," Sakura said at length, gingerly pulling out of Kakashi's arms. Looking to him, she asked quietly, "What will you…?"
"I'm going to stay with Obito," he murmured determinedly. "I owe him."
It wasn't her place to ask how or why, so she merely nodded. "Tell him I'll drop by at some point."
"He'll appreciate that."
Cackling at the momentary lapse in conversation had her shooting Tsunade a disapproving glare but that only seemed to amuse her further. "Let's go home before things get truly awkward, Sakura," she teased while walking down the corridor. "We can talk about you leaving without saying goodbye."
She almost wanted to stay. Almost. But instead Sakura heaved a sigh and said her goodbyes to Kakashi, quickly following on her cousin's heels.
"So Hatake Kakashi, huh?" the blonde hummed playfully. "Is he the one you went on dates with?"
Oh Gods.
Maybe she should have stayed behind after all.
"I hate him," she whispered to her cousin later that night, voice thick.
"I know," came her softened response and for once, there was no bottle mere inches from her grasp. Sakura knew she craved her crutch, though. It was in the continuous glances to the cupboard. "I have… mixed feelings for him, too."
It was harder for Tsunade to outright hate the guy, Sakura knew it was. There was too much history and too much bonding as student and sensei for it to remain so black and white. But trying to tell that to her broken, irrational heart was like explaining to a toddler why they couldn't go through with their reckless ambitions of jumping off a high surface simply for the hell of it.
Bottom lip quivering without any hopes of stilling anytime soon, Sakura told her with a cracking voice, "I saw him. Everywhere I went. When I was trying to save Obito. I-I saw…" It hurt them both and they recoiled when she eventually managed to utter his name, "Nawaki-nii."
Determinedly, Tsunade directed her gaze back to Sakura just as it began to drift to the cupboard, fists clenching. "I'm so sorry for leaving you alone in this."
"Don't be," she tried to assure her, but there was no weight behind her words. It was like they fizzled out travelling the distance between them both. Trying again, she barely whispered, "You're grieving too."
There was no resentment towards her cousin for needing to escape. Sakura had known within just a couple of years of both Nawaki and Dan's passing that Tsunade couldn't handle being in the village anymore. She'd accepted it and saw her off herself. And it wasn't like she couldn't have gone too, because Tsunade had requested as much, but Sakura knew that without her cousin there in the village, they'd need her to step up. So she had. She'd done her best to fill Tsunade's boots. Worked her ass off to ensure nobody bothered the older woman as she healed from her trauma.
Sakura simply hadn't realised that, in the process, she'd disregarded her own trauma.
"My grief shouldn't take priority over yours," she soon responded. "It doesn't."
That wasn't the case though. It was just that neither of them wanted to admit it. Tsunade couldn't care for her in her condition – couldn't even care for herself and Sakura was in no position to be the parent.
A hand coming to hers brought Sakura out of her head and she met the other woman's eye with a heavy sigh.
"I made a promise when I first took you in to always take care of you," Tsunade reminded her and sat back, hands trembling faintly. She recognised it as a sign of addiction. "I haven't been doing a good job of keeping it lately, but I intend to do better by you. By us both."
She could only nod thanks to the thick lump in her throat.
The smile Tsunade tried to give her was weak and shaky at best, but the resolve in her eyes made up for it. "I promise you, Sakura. Things will get better. I will make them better. Just…" She released a shuddery breath and dropped her shoulders. "I'll just need a little patience while I find my way again."
It was at the destruction of the dam she had in place that Tsunade made her way around the table to bring Sakura to her, arms coming around her comfortingly while she sobbed.
"I'm here now, little cousin," she softly murmured into her hair, cheek soon coming to rest atop her head. "You can rest now. I'm here."
"I-I can't…" Odd strangled sounds left her as she tried her hardest to speak and she hoped it was coherent enough for Tsunade to understand as she all but begged, "I can't go back out."
"You won't," came the fierce promise and the hold tightened until Sakura was certain that was all that was holding her together. "I won't allow it. You're in no fit state to be fighting in this war and I refuse to lose anyone else."
The war didn't last more than a month after Kannabi Bridge was destroyed by Minato and Shisui. Starving shinobi didn't make for the greatest fighters and soon enough, the Tsuchikage and Hokage agreed to a meeting with the other Kage, who all bore witness to the new truce that ended the war.
Fortunately, Tsunade made a strong case when only a few days after the incident Sarutobi attempted to deploy Sakura to the front lines with Jiraiya and Orochimaru, though she wasn't entirely sure just how gritty the conversation became. All Tsunade shared was that she had to hit him where it hurt to get her point across and when he tried to be stubborn about it, she struck repeatedly and involved others. Sakura wondered who those others were to leave such a damning mark because not long after the war ended, Sarutobi officially retired and announced Namikaze Minato as his successor.
She'd never cheered so hard before.
For once, Sakura didn't dread being requested by the Hokage and she stood opposite the doors waiting for him to be ready for her with an indescribable weightlessness to her shoulders she'd never experienced while in the Hokage Tower before. It was surreal how at ease she felt in that moment, even with all the lingering problems and concerns in her mind.
Tsunade was keeping her promise so far, however Sakura knew she'd yet to quit drinking. At first it was heavier than ever as she came to terms with remaining in the village for good that time, and Gods, the guilt that came crashing down on Sakura seeing her cousin going through such a tough time was nearly enough for her to push her into leaving again. But they both needed Tsunade to stay. They needed each other to get through the trauma losing Nawaki (with her added loss of Dan) created.
There wasn't much support out there for people struggling mentally, they quickly came to realise. All they could really do was rely on one another and promise to always be open about how they were feeling or what they were going through. It was going to be a long journey but ultimately a rewarding one. She hoped.
"Oh, Sakura-chan," the Hokage's wife, Kushina, greeted her kindly. Smiling as she left the office, the redhead stepped to the side and kept the door open for her. "You're on time."
"That's because I'm not Obito," she shot back, making the other woman laugh. "I know how to tell the time."
"Well then maybe we can get him a joint get well soon gift," came her light-hearted chuckling. "A huge clock he can't ignore."
An encouraging hand patted her shoulder when she passed Kushina and she felt a part of her relax not only at the gesture, but at the warmth in Minato's gaze at the sight of her seemingly fully recovered. It was relieving seeing him wearing the Hokage robes rather than Sarutobi and part of herself waited to wake up from her dream. It was all too good to be true.
But she didn't.
"Sakura-chan," he greeted, smiling. "I'm glad you came. I know you don't like coming to the office–"
"Not the office," she corrected and ducked her head upon realising she'd interrupted him. While she hadn't respected Sarutobi as Hokage, she respected Minato. She needed to start showing it. "Just that old man."
Lost for words for a moment at her blatant dislike, Minato could only nod until he stammered sheepishly, "Well regardless, I'm glad you're here. We have much to discuss."
Many knew of her hatred for Sarutobi Hiruzen. Improper as it was to show it, Sakura didn't care. She made sure he knew it. Knew of her despising him, knew that he had the blood of her clansmen on his hands, the blood of other innocents that he callously sent to fight his wars. His skill set was phenomenal without a doubt, but it was a shame he seemed so empty headed at times. That or old age had made him senile and he didn't know what the hell he was doing.
Maybe that was what Tsunade had done? Maybe she threatened him or officially diagnosed him with some kind of disease that made it impossible for him to remain as Hokage?
Gods, she wished she'd tell her already.
"I haven't seen much of you since that day," he started and removed his Hokage robes, placing them onto a coat stand to the side of the office and revealing his familiar jōnin uniform. "I wanted to thank you once again for going to such lengths to save Obito." Chuckling, he added, "No matter how many times I say it, it never feels enough."
His healing process was excruciating even with Tsunade and Katsuyu working tirelessly over him. It'd been almost two whole months and he was still in and out of consciousness, though Sakura knew that was for the best for now. His body was simply going through too much for it to handle – his mind too. So, with the agreement of his team and patriarch of his clan, Uchiha Obito was placed in a coma while they worked themselves to the brink of exhaustion attempting to repair his shattered bones.
Around twenty percent of the damage was healed successfully and although that didn't sound like much when said aloud, it was enough to grant him quality of life. He would be able to move eventually if he stuck to his physical therapy and attended regular healing sessions to see if they could perhaps continue the healing process.
Still, she knew he was going to be devastated over his condition. Both Kakashi and Rin had taken a few weeks to come around to Tsunade's reports and even now, it remained a difficult subject. He wasn't going to be the same old Obito anymore.
She should have done more.
"I didn't do anything," she admitted softly, so tired of receiving praise for something she barely had a hand in. "I froze and kept freezing and–"
"Without your strength, they never would have been able to move the boulder that was crushing him. Kakashi said himself that it was too heavy and to try and shatter it could have instantly ended Obito's life." Minato walked to the space behind his desk though didn't sit down like she presumed he would have. Rather, he retrieved a scroll and placed it to the centre of his desk. She wondered if it was a mission. "You also summoned Katsuyu when you realised you couldn't heal him yourself, rather than potentially waste your chakra or attempt to under duress."
It didn't sound impressive like she knew he was trying to make it sound. To her, it sounded like nothing more than a desperate child who didn't know what the hell they were doing or up against.
Sighing deeply like he could tell what she was thinking, Minato assessed her stance for several moments before continuing. "Shisui-kun informed me it's the first time in a while that he's witnessed such open human emotion," he informed her quietly and she sighed unhappily at the reminder of how spectacularly she'd broken down. Their vulnerability was so embarrassing that neither she nor Kakashi knew how to talk about it, so it remained in the air, hanging awkwardly. "He was deeply moved and even claimed his time with you reminded him he's more than just their prodigy."
What…?
Smiling, he came to stand before her and leaned back against the desk she was so happy now belonged to him, telling Sakura, "He requested that you be his captain from this day forward, and he stated there is much to learn from you."
He really…? "A-Are you sure?"
He nodded once, smile dimming somewhat to show her the troubled look in his eye she'd caught glimpses of but never pushed to understand. And her silence was rewarded as he finally said what she'd always longed to hear, "In all the years I have known you, you have never had a stable team, Sakura-chan. That changes today. I want you to be able to experience the happiness and strength that comes from having a team to call family."
Family.
Tears stung her eyes.
"Doing this also allows me to keep a closer eye on Kakashi, now that I am Hokage."
"K-Kakashi is…?"
"Going to become your third teammate." The smile saddened considerably and Minato sighed, shoulders slumping. "Obito can't continue life as a shinobi in his condition and Rin has decided to officially retire to become his permanent caregiver, leaving Kakashi without a team."
Wait… Rin had retired? Without telling her?
She hadn't seen much of the brunette since that day in the hospital and after endless teasing from Tsunade about her closeness with Kakashi, Sakura deduced it was because of that. They all knew Rin had a thing for him and she supposed they had looked a little too familiar back in the hospital. But to more or less cut her off like that was… It was cold. Sakura knew she hadn't been the greatest friend in the past couple of months with all that was on her mind, but it still stung that she hadn't reached out either.
"Before any of this, however, I am placing you on a much needed break from missions. You can work at the hospital if you choose to but know that this is your time to relax. Go out and enjoy your childhood."
Enjoy her childhood.
Dumbfounded, all she could do was stare up at the blond until he chuckled at the expression and patted her head.
"Rest now, Sakura-chan," Minato gently ordered, his smile warm and filling her with way too many emotions that threatened to get the best of her as she teared up before him. "You deserve it."
Did she?
A/N - Hmmm, I can't decide how the next chapter should go. I'm feeling a time skip, but I want to include the break and Obito's recovery, Rin's silence, Kakashi's awkwardness etc. Oooh maybe even the new team's first mission! Somebody please tell me what to do haha!
I also want to apologise for the sudden disappearing act. I know not everyone follows me on Tumblr or checks my profile for updates, so I'm going to add this note to all of my next updates: I've been severely sick and in and out of hospital for a couple of months now and when I'm out, I've been spending every okay-ish moment with my son. He doesn't understand why he's not seeing me as much and it's really knocked him off balance (for those of you who aren't aware: he's non-verbal autistic and can't understand much of what we say, so to him, I've just disappeared and he's been a little lost because of it). His nursery and support worker noted a change in his attitude and say he's become withdrawn and prone to more emotional outbursts so right now as I'm sure many of you understand, he's my priority.
Thank you all for your understanding, patience and kind messages checking in on me!
