Her team.
She had a team.
A real, permanent team.
They were due to meet in the next hour at training grounds three for a day of training and getting to know one another, and for the first time in so long, Sakura felt excited about training with others. For the longest time after Nawaki's death it was just a necessity. A normal part of her day – like bathing. Something she had to do.
But she was on a team now.
All the while calling herself ridiculous for being so eager, Sakura set out to the training grounds trying her best to hide the skip in her step.
It'd been roughly two weeks since being granted a break from missions. After hearing about the gesture, Tsunade also forbade her from working at the hospital, leaving Sakura with way too much time on her hands. So much free time that she didn't even know where to start, even feeling oddly intimidated by the rare empty schedule.
There was only so much training she and Tsunade could do with the blonde's very real fear of blood, though Sakura liked to believe they were one step closer to the activation of her seal. It was right there, the reserves filled to the brim and waiting – begging – to be put to use and granting Sakura an almost overwhelming sense of being indestructible.
If she mastered the seal and familiarised herself with the jutsu Tsunade had created and perfected while on the road, there was little she couldn't do. Sakura could heal herself even if she was on death's door, no matter how fatal the injury was. Alongside their loyal summon, Katsuyu, they could heal hundreds simultaneously. Unlike ordinary medics, they could fight on the front lines because they couldn't freaking die.
How the hell was she supposed to ground herself? To keep such knowledge from making her arrogant or reckless?
What would their deceased loved ones think of it all? Would her parents be proud? Would Nawaki? Dan?
Smiling as she entered the training grounds and spotted Kakashi already there, Sakura approached at a leisurely pace. She waited for him to finish his training with Pakkun before attempting to speak with him, her attention drawn to the puppy who darted off with a happy yapping, ears and cheeks flopping.
"Morning," she greeted cheerfully.
A huff of amusement had her focus coming away from the disappearing Pakkun once he reached the forest. "It's going to take a while to get used to your personality transplant."
"Don't be a jerk. I'm happy for once." Despite the scolding, it was clear she wasn't really upset and it had him smirking beneath his mask, the sight prompting Sakura to look away and assess their surroundings. "No Shisui-kun yet?"
Outside of running into each other around the village, their team hadn't spent any time with one another. Today wasn't only their first time training together, but being together as a trio full stop. The three of them had never interacted outside of saving Obito.
"Must be typical of an Uchiha to always be late," he remarked.
Speaking of Obito usually threatened to dampen the mood – Sakura could tell from the way Kakashi's shoulders tried to slump that the subject of his old teammate continued to be raw for him.
Last she heard (since she wasn't allowed to work in the hospital during her break and Tsunade was bound by patient confidentiality so couldn't share too much), he was still in his medically induced coma. Both Shizune and Rin had joined in the attempts to heal his shattered bones, but altogether, they had only repaired twenty-three percent of the damage.
He would have quality of life, Sakura reminded herself. While Obito would never be able to continue life as a shinobi (and, in turn, was now unable to fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming Hokage), he would still have quality of life. Whether that truly meant anything to him once the reality of all he'd lost came tumbling down, Sakura couldn't say (but in the darkest parts of her mind she knew that she would have rather died).
Disturbed by her own thoughts, she tried to find anything else to discuss. "How's the eye?"
"Still gone."
Sakura rolled her eyes and moved to stand in front of him, hands settling on her hips and attention fixating on his bandages. "Smartass. I meant how's it healing?"
The prospect of going out on missions completely blind on his left side was unnerving for him, she noted at the shift in his footing. Kakashi was a difficult (bordering on impossible) guy to read but that didn't mean she hadn't found any tells. She kind of had to learn to read him better, because the moron wouldn't take himself to the hospital to be healed if he was injured. Pairing that with his tendency to be a total wildcard to try and prove himself…
Gods, being on a team with Kakashi was going to kill her, wasn't it?
"What's to heal?" he shot back, snorting at her attempt to intimidate him into answering her.
Somewhere in the last year or two, her friend had shot up and managed to grow taller than her by a notable amount. It made going against him or trying to nag at him a little humorous to them both, though more so Kakashi than her. For whatever reason, he got a kick out of it (when he wasn't being serious and up himself, that was). Sakura suspected it was down to appearing as more manly now, that suspicion strengthening with puberty crashing into them all and oftentimes leaving her drowning in the idiot boys' clashing testosterone.
Boys were weird, Sakura thought despairingly. If they weren't hounding her back in the academy for being an outsider who could hold their own, then they were hounding her because they suddenly did a one-eighty and found her attractive.
What's worse was…
Her cheeks flushed horrendously at his unwavering attention. It reminded her too much of that fateful day when they almost lost Obito and how it was Kakashi's embrace that kept her grounded. All she could recall was how warm he'd been, and how he'd even hugged her a second time to express his gratitude outside of the operating room.
"What's this? It's not like the Haruno Sakura to be lost for words." His smirk widened and he teased relentlessly, "…Or flustered."
She wished Shisui would hurry the hell up. While Kakashi had always been different from the others their age, Sakura knew those damned hormones affected him too. The look in his only eye was too sharp, too interested, for her to be oblivious. Even if he was only teasing her and there was no real emotion behind it, it was painfully obvious Kakashi could pick up on her struggles.
"Like hell I'm flustered," Sakura snapped, the words coming out too sharp to really be of much help in that moment.
To prove her hopeless thoughts, Kakashi chuckled. "We've known each other for almost an entire decade now. What makes you think you can hide anything from me?"
While the defiant part of Sakura wanted to argue that training through their grief in the same field hardly classed as knowing one another, she knew it was a lie. A poor lie, too. Even if they hadn't spoken much, Kakashi saw more of her following Nawaki's passing than anyone else in the village (Tsunade included) and vice versa after his father's death. They both saw the darkest parts of one another because of it.
Gods, she was overheating.
"Don't forget I have a strong sense of smell too–"
Whirling on him, Sakura stopped her fist just short of his stupidly perfect jawline, eyes hard and narrowed despite the furiously red face. But even as his hair was blasted backwards from his features in response to the abrupt halt in such a powerful swing, Kakashi remained unmoved, his smirk maddening.
"Are you nervous, Sakura?"
"Quit harassing me before I break your goddamn jaw," she warned, just barely holding back a pout. "See how easy you find talking then."
Kakashi grinned cockily.
For a guy usually all doom and gloom, Sakura couldn't help but focus on the easiness of his attitude in that moment. Hormones definitely played a part, but this change was pretty significant – more than his voice deepening and other bodily changes.
"Looks like I'm not the only one who underwent a personality transplant," she accused lightly. Finally deeming her point to be well and truly made, Sakura relaxed her stance and took a few steps back, playing up assessing Kakashi's body language through narrowed eyes. "You're weirdly happy."
The grin simmered considerably, though she found herself intrigued by the warmth in his eye as he told her, "They're going to try waking Obito up today."
They were? So soon? Sakura hated to be the pessimist in the room – really, she did. However, she could tell Kakashi wasn't clued in yet or had only had the information fed to him through others, rather than medics themselves.
To wake Obito already meant they'd hit a wall in the healing process. The medics – mainly Tsunade, Rin and Shizune – had done all they could to mend the shattered bones, repairing then protecting his organs from becoming more damaged. Still, only twenty-three percent of the damage was healed and Sakura sincerely didn't see that vastly improving anytime soon.
The grin faded away completely. "…It's not a good sign."
Sakura grimaced, though as Kakashi already stated: he knew her too well for her to hide anything. Trying was essentially disrespecting him and their bond. "It's not bad per se," she tried. "Tsunade-nee put Obito in the induced coma to ease the healing process – waking him now means they've hit a wall and keeping him under is pointless."
"How?" he questioned, frowning. "Surely allowing him to naturally heal while unconscious is better?"
"Or it could cause further deterioration of his muscles and other bodily functions, making the recovery harder for him." Sighing, Sakura reached out to her friend and took his hand, offering a small, reassuring smile just as he had for her before they set out to war. "Obito has quality of life," she reminded him. "This just means he needs to start putting some work in too."
The clenching of his jaw had her stomach churning knowing she was the cause of his upset, but then he murmured determinedly, "Obito might look and act like an idiot, but he's strong. He'll pull through."
Sakura smiled at that. That was the attitude Obito would need throughout his recovery and no doubt that rivalry he shared with Kakashi could play a hand in motivating him.
"…Thank you, Sakura," he told her earnestly. "I should have known Rin is too much of an optimist to be realistic about the recovery process."
The mentioning of their mutual friend had her releasing Kakashi's hand and stepping away to create more distance between them. "There's nothing wrong with being an optimist," Sakura told him in a mock scolding manner. "Just because we're pessimistic doesn't mean others have to be."
If the sudden change confused him, then Kakashi didn't mention it. Merely shrugged and said, "Some optimists have the tendency to lie to themselves about the reality of their situations."
Thankfully, they were distracted by the rustling of leaves at the far end of the field – coming from a completely different direction than where she'd anticipated, and it had Sakura wondering if Shisui was training by himself before their meeting. Not that there was anything wrong with that. She simply wished his timekeeping skills were better.
Then again, it was probably a major change-up for the Uchiha who wasn't only just ten years of age, but also used to working alone from what she'd heard (and even when the rarity of working with others happened, they were always his clansmen). She wondered if he was nervous or unsure of himself being a part of a team, or if he was struggling following the war and all he'd witnessed.
Time to channel you, Nawaki-nii, she thought, reminding herself of how at ease Nawaki had made her during the most major change in her life. She just hoped she was as comforting as he was.
"You're late," Sakura pointed out playfully once he was closer and smiled. "Don't tell me it's a common occurrence for you Uchiha."
But Shisui wasn't in the mood for laughing, it seemed and his unease had her frowning in concern. She spared a glance with Kakashi when the younger boy came to stand in front of them with a troubled expression, and it seemed he was equally concerned.
Could it be because of the war? Was he struggling with post-traumatic stress? Just as Sakura opened her mouth to ask, Shisui spoke up.
"They sent him out to war," he whispered, in a clear state of shock and just barely able to meet their eyes before they fell away again. It was so unlike the boy who'd been by her side during their first mission that she was instantly unsettled.
"Who?" questioned Kakashi.
"Itachi," he broke her heart by telling them, and Sakura was unable to control the dropping of her expression when Shisui finally raised his head to show his heartbreak. "He's only four years old, but they sent him to the front lines and he's…"
The front lines…
He wasn't dead, she fiercely reminded herself, but it did little to ease the horrendous twisting of her stomach. It was rare to see the clan heir around the village, however, she had seen him briefly while he was grocery shopping with his mother. Just last week, if Sakura wasn't mistaken.
"That's…" Even Kakashi was at a loss for words, it seemed. Not that she could really blame him.
It was such a stupid question to ask and already, Sakura knew the answer to it. However, she still asked, "How is he?"
"A mess," Shisui answered honestly, brokenly. "I had to use my summons to…"
The paling of his expression had her guiding the young boy to the wooden posts of the training ground and he sat down heavily, lacking all the grace and power she'd witnessed up until that moment. She and Kakashi followed only a second later, sitting close enough to offer comfort but granting enough space should he feel he need it. From the way his head fell back to the post to allow himself the chance to savour the light breeze trying to dry his damp skin, Sakura knew the space was appreciated.
"What happened?"
"He…" Definitely a state of shock, Sakura noticed. Shisui was shaking and sweating and with deliberate movements that he was able to register, she reached out and checked his pulse, frowning as she found it was racing. "I think he was trying to kill himself."
No, she despaired.
"He's just a kid," whispered Shisui.
"Are you sure?" she asked, swallowing hard.
There was no mistaking it, his eyes told her long before he continued in a strangled sounding voice, "He threw himself off a cliff at Naka River."
They never would have known what happened to him if it weren't for Shisui, Sakura thought, horrified. "Where is he now?"
"My summons are watching him," he answered. "He's on his way home."
Shit, what was she supposed to do with that knowledge? On the one hand, a child's life was at stake and if he seriously wanted to die, then there would be other attempts – she couldn't expect Shisui to watch his every move, especially not with being just a child himself. But what would happen if she was to share what happened with his parents?
Clans were brutal, Sakura had quickly come to discover after moving to Konoha. The Hyuuga and Uchiha clans in particular. Anything less than perfection and they were cast aside or disowned.
Uchiha Itachi was their prodigious heir who was powerful enough and showed enough potential to be sent to the front lines at just four years old. If she exposed his actions, it could potentially ostracise him at a time he needed support and guidance the most. Even if Fugaku was partially to blame for the troubles his son now faced, he was still his father and Sakura had no way of knowing how close the two were. Separation could be the final push Itachi needed and the fact that he could simply up and disappear, going to a spot where they'd never find his body, at just four years old told Sakura she needed to tread carefully. He was clearly intelligent and wise beyond his years.
"What should we do?" questioned Kakashi, looking to her. "We can't turn a blind eye."
No, they couldn't.
Fingers tapping against the grass for a moment as she weighed the options, she glanced between her two teammates – two kids. They were all just kids. Yet thanks to that bastard Sarutobi, they were already surrounded by piles of dead family members and friends. They'd already taken part in killing and wars and now a kid who was barely out of the toddler stage…
But they had a new Hokage now. One who was so compassionate and determined to make their village a better place.
"I'm going to inform Hokage-sama," Sakura stated suddenly and stood up, wiping the blades of grass she'd subconsciously torn at on her skirt. Hating herself for burdening him with such a task, she requested of Shisui, "Hang around Itachi-kun until I've spoken with Hokage-sama. He may be in shock or try again."
Kakashi stood as Shisui did, telling her, "I'll stick with Shisui-kun."
She smiled at that.
"Forgive me for the intrusion," she said without really meaning it, granting herself entry to the office at the sound of her cousin's voice. They'd left the doors open so technically it was their own fault. If their conversation required secrecy, then they should have shut them. "I need to speak with you, Hokage-sama."
"Sakura–" Jiraiya began to chastise, but she cut him off.
"It's probably for the best you're here too, Tsunade-nee. You, however," Sakura added haughtily while dismissing Jiraiya entirely. "Have no reason to be."
Chuckling sheepishly and standing from his seat, Minato held his hands out in surrender and looked between the three of them, soon offering his sensei an apology and promise of catching up later. It prompted the old man to shoot a pouted glare in her direction on his way out and in response, much to his amusement, Sakura narrowed her eyes, foot tapping impatiently until the door was finally shut.
It was with a sigh that Tsunade glanced over her shoulder at Sakura. "It seems Jiraiya has been a bad influence on you."
Probably, but they weren't there to discuss her blunt attitude and the reminder of the struggling child had Sakura straightening up and approaching the desk, telling Minato in no uncertain terms, "That old man was a horrible Hokage."
Amber eyes went wide. "Sakura!"
She met her cousin's gaze levelly, unfazed by the disbelief. "Don't pretend like he wasn't when we're all casualties from his shitty leading skills. In one way or another, he's royally screwed us all."
Fortunately for her furious sake, Minato seemed to catch on that she was leading up to something, rather than interrupting a potentially serious meeting just to trash talk the Sandaime. He waited patiently for her to continue, quietly telling Tsunade that her attitude was okay and valid. They were safe to talk freely in his office.
Minato's office.
Sakura inhaled deeply, reassured by the reminder, and continued with a blunt, "For the children who did miraculously survive his time as Hokage, we're struggling." The response to her words was immediate and what she was aiming for the entire time, and she felt her heart clench when Tsunade drifted over to the window to keep her back to them both. The sight had Minato sighing in regret before he nodded, agreeing with the words. "And whether you like it or not, as Hokage it's now your job to step up and fix your predecessor's mess. The children are the future of this village and to put it frankly: we're all being raised to be screwed up, unfeeling or overly feeling messes."
It hit a nerve with her cousin, but Sakura had learned not to mince her words. Sugar coating how badly they were all struggling wasn't an option. Not when a four-year-old boy was trying to end his life. It was one thing for them all to sweep their problems under the rug until they mentally couldn't handle it anymore, but she refused to watch history repeat itself. She was going to make damn sure the children of Konoha were treated better. So much better. A thousand times better.
"What happened, Sakura-chan?"
She set her jaw, staring him down as she told him sharply, "A four-year-old boy was sent to the front lines."
Tsunade turned on her heel in shock, the paler shade of her skin and returned trembling not going unnoticed by either of them. "What the hell did you just say?"
"I heard rumours," murmured Minato, unsettled. "Uchiha Itachi-kun, right?"
Sakura nodded once.
"That bastard…" muttered her cousin darkly. Her shaking hands came to her biceps to try and still the obvious tell of her cravings, squeezing tight enough to leave her skin raw. "After everything…!"
Oh, but it was only going to get worse and Sakura had absolutely no regrets in telling them, "And Shisui-kun just stopped him from trying to commit suicide at Naka River."
In order to create change, she had to be shocking enough to make them pause. Make them realise the gruesome ways that was only setting the village up for failure. They had a long way to go to right all Sarutobi's unforgivable wrongs and Sakura knew that there were potentially some wrongs that could never be rectified. In cases such as Nawaki's and Obito's, it was much too late.
But not for Uchiha Itachi. Not for other children like him.
Damn it, even if it killed her, she was going to make sure they were treated like real goddamn children. They were not pawns. They weren't tools for their wars. They were fucking children who were supposed to be innocent and carefree.
"Where is Itachi-kun now, Sakura-chan?" Minato asked, already on his feet and retrieving his flak jacket. It struck something within Sakura to find that he dismissed his Hokage robes entirely, almost like he was refusing to go into the matter as Hokage. "Is he safe?"
"I sent Shisui-kun and Kakashi to watch over him."
"Good thinking," Tsunade told her as she moved away from the window. She looked to Minato questioningly and demanded, "What are you planning?"
He sighed heavily at that, shoulders dropping like the weight of what she'd told him was physically weighing him down. "I am going to speak with his parents regarding his mental well-being."
"From there?" the blonde pushed.
"From there…" Once more, Minato sighed, clearly troubled. "You know yourself I cannot interfere with clan matters." Just as Sakura opened her mouth in outrage, ready to cuss him out for being so disappointing, he held up his hands to make her pause and said, "But I can't overlook this or turn a blind eye."
That was what she wanted – no, needed – to hear.
He was ready to make the changes they desperately needed too.
Exhaling with visible relief that had Sakura's tensed shoulders relaxing, she looked to her Hokage with great respect, telling him, "Thank you."
The look they both received when entering Obito's hospital room was carefully veiled heartache and Sakura found herself quickly looking away. Despite knowing of Rin's upset of their arriving together, however, Kakashi had asked her pessimistic ass to accompany him (his actual words, much to Sakura's amusement as she replayed the short conversation in her mind).
But one important point she couldn't overlook was the returning of Kakashi's metaphorical mask once they were around others. Rather than standing alongside the boy who'd teased her so relentlessly earlier that day, she found he'd returned to the stoic, closed off boy who refused to let people know even a fraction of how he was feeling. It was a sight that had Minato sighing when he also joined them with his wife by his side, both eager to be there for the moment Obito was brought out of his coma (part of her itched to demand answers about Uchiha Itachi's well-being, but now was Obito's moment, she reminded herself).
"I don't know why you're all here," grumbled Tsunade irritably, mood continuing to be sour hours after the news of the Uchiha heir's suicide attempt. "It could take hours for him to wake up."
"We'll wait by his side until that moment," Kushina argued.
Amused by her cousin's gritting teeth, Sakura looked between the two hard-headed women and wondered who would come out the victor should their strong personalities clash as they were threatening to in that moment. The woman with a monstrous strength that could reduce entire mountains to dust and couldn't die, or the woman with a literal monster residing within her?
Sakura's thoughts were brought to a stuttering halt when Rin breezed by her to grab a washcloth without meeting her eye, dampening it at the sink in the room. A few seconds later and she received the same cold attitude when she returned to Obito's side to wipe down the exposed portion of his face.
As childish as it felt losing a friend over a boy and getting caught up in the drama, she couldn't deny that the cold shoulder hurt. Why was it her fault that Kakashi showed her more interest than Rin? Why did Rin seem to blame her?
The coldness wasn't missed by the older two women, who parted from their clashing to share knowing sighs. That mutual exasperation only deepened noticing Minato and Kakashi were completely oblivious.
Still, Sakura pointedly ignored them and wished they would remain unknowing like the two men.
"How are his vitals?" she asked to try and divert their attention.
"Strong," Tsunade answered. "The kid's a fighter."
A small smile finally graced Rin's otherwise unwelcoming expression and she reached out with her free hand, brushing the unkempt hair off Obito's heavily bandaged face.
Most of his body was wrapped up in bandages and would remain that way for a while. From what she'd seen before going on her break from the hospital: the wounds were horrific, and some had reoccurring infections that only made them all the more difficult to look at. They reminded Sakura of the example photographs shown to the medics when the war was declared – only the most shocking cases were used to prepare them all.
"He'll bounce back," Rin proclaimed with an unshakeable conviction. She stepped away to allow Tsunade room to work, brown eyes never missing a beat as her cousin used her chakra to gently bring Obito out of his coma. "Obito always does."
Just as Kakashi opened his mouth to argue, prompting Minato to look at him with an almost pleading warning, Sakura swatted the back of his hand. The last thing Obito needed to wake up to (when it was already possible he could hear every word they were saying) was their arguments about his recovery or where his life was now headed. The adjustment period was a huge one – the journey of recovery despairingly long and draining. Obito was going to need their strength to fall back on in his darkest times. How could he rely on them if they were bickering amongst themselves or speaking about him like he wasn't even present? How would he feel if they weren't hopeful about his recovery?
Kakashi shot her a dry look and she could tell he was ready to argue, but she dared him to try with the mere raising of her eyebrows. There was no use in fighting her, Sakura silently warned him and promptly caused his shoulders to drop, his responding sigh one of resignation that thankfully, only Minato heard. Like hell they needed Rin noticing any more of their interactions if she was already freezing her out, Sakura thought miserably.
"Am I too late?" came Shizune's breathless yet strangely polite demand. Her head of dark hair poked through the doorway, almost hiding her flushed features that told them all she'd been rushing. "My rounds went on longer than I anticipated and I ran all the way here–"
"Calm down, Shizune," sighed Tsunade. "We're still waiting for him to wake up."
Knowing her older cousin, she would have already checked for brain damage before allowing them all access to the room. However, Sakura knew that didn't mean Obito was going to be one hundred percent. They had a long way to go and an unholy number of tests remaining to know if his brain was fully functioning, or if that too was scrambled when he was crushed. Only so much could be done while he was unconscious.
"You've got this, Obito-kun," Shizune encouraged with a smile, giving his uninjured arm a squeeze.
Being a medic really did suit her oldest friend, Sakura only belatedly realised and she couldn't help but smile at the sight of her so at ease with herself.
After Dan died, Shizune had struggled so badly that she was kept back a year at the academy, although she suspected the sensei had wanted to keep an eye on her more than anything (since being held back was so incredibly rare). She was completely lost and distanced herself from everyone until she heard of Tsunade leaving and leapt at the chance of escaping too.
Now look at her, she thought proudly. Leaving the village was exactly what Shizune needed to find herself and now she was excelling as a medic. Guidance was still necessary and like Rin, she had only recently received her license to practice, but Sakura believed that was solely down to being away. Had Shizune studied under Tsunade in the village, she would have qualified years ago. There was no overlooking that level of talent or ease.
They caught one another's eye and Sakura's smile widened at the peace she found in the dark-haired girl's gaze, prompting her to smile too.
She was healing, she happily noticed.
"Am I still on forced leave, Tsunade-nee?" she questioned after only thirty minutes of waiting, itching to be useful. Standing around simply wasn't her and she longed to help somehow. "Can't you make just one exception for me and let me help?"
Whereas others found her workaholic nature amusing, the questions had Rin's head lowering enough for her short hair to shield her features, shoulders rigid.
"It's not necessary," the brunette responded distantly. "We have everything covered with Obito."
Shizune's eyes were wide while snapping to Tsunade's, head ducking like she was anticipating a harsh response. Truthfully, there should have been one. The question was directed at the best medic in Konoha – the medic who rightfully should have been leading the hospital following her return, had it not been for her phobia of blood. Forgetting the fact Rin had spoken over her superior and answered for her purely because of personal feelings, Tsunade's temper was awful and continued to cause many to flee with their knees knocking together.
It was the latter that had Sakura swiftly saving the brunette, catching Tsunade's arm just as it raised with a clenching fist. The movement was enough to capture everyone's attention minus Rin, who continued to pointedly ignore her, and she prayed that the blonde would take note of the minute shaking of her head that told her to leave it be.
Rin wouldn't be spared for long, but she was for the moment and that was selfishly enough for Sakura. While she seriously didn't want the others in the room finding out why Rin was so pissed with her, Sakura also knew that a patient's care was top priority. Their personal feelings couldn't join the fray, like Rin's currently were. She needed to be reminded of what it meant to be a medic.
Although blatantly irritated at the lack of professionalism on both parts (because she knew she wouldn't be spared either), Tsunade dismissed the rude behaviour with a shake of her head before returning to her tasks.
There were so many questions in both Shizune's and Minato's gazes until she returned to Kakashi's side and met his frown with a heavy sigh. Apparently, that was all they needed to understand the messy situation, though Sakura was relieved to find that they didn't seem angry with her like Rin did.
Hell, as sad as he seemed for his female student, Minato looked relieved too and she wondered if that was because of how distant Kakashi usually was around others. The fact he took notice of the uncomfortable interaction and chose to question her (even if it was wordlessly) seemed to make the blond happy and he smiled down hopefully at his wife.
So much for them not finding out, she thought gloomily.
It wasn't like anything was happening between them. Although the others in their generation threw themselves heads first into romantic relationships the second puberty struck and appeared genuinely happy when with another, Sakura simply… She just didn't feel it. Of course, she could admit she felt attraction towards another, but the thought of falling in love in a world like theirs was terrifying.
After all, it was after Dan's death that Tsunade was well and truly broken beyond repair. Even after so many years, she couldn't move on.
She couldn't be broken like that. She couldn't. She refused.
Besides, she didn't need a boy to be happy. She didn't need someone to buy her flowers – if she wanted flowers, she would buy her own damn flowers and at least that way, she would always have her favourite bouquet. She didn't need saving or protecting or whatever other reason people used to when falling in love. She was strong. She had money. She had friends. She even had a career outside of being a kunoichi. What use did she have for a boy when she could provide everything herself?
But how did she convey all of that to Rin when the other girl refused to speak to her?
"We should call it a night," announced Tsunade hours later when there was no change in Obito's vitals. "You can all come back first thing."
"It's not a bad thing," she told Kakashi when he looked ready to argue, keeping her face turned towards him and voice a quiet murmur so they wouldn't provoke her cousin's foul temper. That shaking of her hands had returned (even though she was greatly skilled at hiding it from the others, she'd grown equally adept at looking out for it), warning Sakura that the blonde needed her crutch. "His breathing and heartrate are both stable and there's brain activity – we're just waiting on Obito to be ready now. Don't forget it's a huge trauma."
His sigh was full of impatience but thankfully, Kakashi didn't push the matter further. It was their first day as an official team – she'd hate for Tsunade to kill him before they even landed their first mission. As impressive as the prodigy was, he was no match for Tsunade (no matter what her state was).
The other medics busied themselves with tidying Obito's room and once more checking over his vitals, filling out the notes resting at the end of his bed. It once more left Sakura feeling utterly useless as she lingered by the doorway, watching first as Minato and Kushina said their goodbyes to Obito and left, followed by Shizune disappearing for more rounds.
"There's no point hanging around," Tsunade told them bluntly. "Visiting hours are over now."
She rolled her eyes at the words and turned on her heel, only to pause when Kakashi called out and asked, "Want to walk home together?"
Her initial response was to turn and playfully narrow her eyes at him in mock suspicion of his intentions, but Sakura's stomach twisted painfully at the frozen form just behind Kakashi.
With hand outstretched like she was in the process of touching him before falling limply to her side and eyes wide and pained, Rin was the picture of heartbreak.
A weary sigh from the other side of the room told Sakura the interactions weren't unnoticed and she ached at being stuck in such a troublesome situation. What upset her more was Kakashi's total lack of understanding – no, not lack of understanding. It was like he didn't notice whatsoever and it had her hurting for Rin.
Until those brown eyes met hers and anger shone bright again. Then, her own irritation began to overshadow the sympathy.
Why the hell was it her fault the guy was so goddamn clueless? Why was she to blame for his feelings or wants?
Still, she couldn't stop from trying to protect what was left of their seemingly shaky friendship.
"I don't need you to walk me home," she argued lamely, much to Tsunade's snorted amusement, those amber eyes full of laughter when Sakura happened to look her way with barely veiled despair. She discreetly begged of her cousin to save her from the embarrassing moment, but apparently, Tsunade was enjoying the torture.
Kakashi was undeterred. "Fine, then. Walk me home."
There was no stopping the reluctant smile at his persistence and once more meeting his eye damned her, for there was no resisting the cheeky stubbornness that met her there.
As wrong as it was for her to act on impulse, it was the continued anger and furrowing of Rin's brow that made up Sakura's mind.
Just as Rin was supposedly her friend, Kakashi was too. He was struggling with Obito's condition just like her – the only difference being that he was trying to open up for the first time since… Well, ever.
After his father's death, Kakashi closed himself off and refused to let anyone in. He was cool and distant and always pushing himself to the limits, choosing to train over everything else because in his mind, he had so much to prove. He had so much to make up for and no amount of arguing could change that perspective for him.
But he was letting her in. Minato's disbelieving hope told Sakura that.
Her friend and teammate needed her.
So, with a nod and a smile, Sakura accepted the offer and waited for Kakashi to lead the way before braving herself for meeting Rin's eye again. It stung seeing the betrayal there and what made it worse was knowing that at that point, she really did deserve to have it directed at her. But what was she supposed to do? Stand by the girl who so easily turned her back on their friendship because the guy she liked wasn't giving her the attention she wanted? Ignore the friend who was there after Nawaki's death (and she for him after his father's)?
Without another moment of hesitation, Sakura chose the friend who'd remained by her side even when he saw the ugliest parts of her, because that certainly trumped someone who could turn their back on her over something so minor. If Rin stopped being her friend over a boy, then was she really a friend to begin with?
Without another word, she turned and left the hospital room, demanding herself to shut away the pain she felt at undoubtedly losing a friend.
The walk was quiet and peaceful.
Although it hung in the air between them, they didn't discuss Rin or her feelings and for that, Sakura was grateful – knew that Kakashi was too. Too much was going on. So, as they learned how to do so from the adults, they swept it under the rug until they were ready to deal with it. If they wanted to deal with it at all. Ignorance was bliss, after all.
"Do you think he'll cope when he wakes up?"
When, Sakura repeated fondly in her mind. "You know Obito better than I do," she reminded him, then sighed at the sadness dampening the mood. "Still… We should be prepared for this to keep him down at some point in recovery. It's natural for patients to lose motivation when faced with all they've lost."
"He wanted to become Hokage," Kakashi uttered, his voice nearly lost in the night as they traipsed the streets.
It was mostly empty by that point in the evening, granting them more privacy to talk about such a sensitive subject. "I know," came Sakura's softened response.
There wasn't much else either of them could really say after that, though she was pleasantly surprised to find that comforting edge to the walk hadn't dissipated like it would have with anyone else. Like they didn't need words to be there for one another – which, Sakura supposed, had always been the case with them both. Even back when they were children lost in grief, they'd silently been there for one another.
The sight of her empty home coming into view had her resisting the urge to sigh or recklessly ask that Kakashi continued to hang out with her for a little longer. She needed to continue being tough. Couldn't grow soft just because she had a team now.
But damn, it was tempting to cave to her wounded heart once they reached her front door. That temptation only grew all the more difficult to ignore the longer they lingered there, and vaguely, Sakura wondered what Kakashi was waiting for.
Quietly, she teased, "I was supposed to be the one walking you home."
"He'll get there," he surprised her by saying with a minute frown. "Right?"
"Someone as stubborn as Uchiha Obito?" Sakura tried her best to smile. "When you won your last spar with him and I won our last whose-shitty-experiences-outdoes-the-others' competition?" Kakashi offered a single, weak chuckle. "You know he'll be back just to spite us."
There was a contemplative silence as he watched her for a moment. Then, "…I was a shitty captain."
It wasn't her place to say whether he was or not, even though a part of Sakura longed to take away the guilt in his expression. "You did the best you could in that fucked up situation – we all did."
Kakashi sighed and turned to lean back against the wall of her home, gaze drawn to the full moon that washed them of their colours. Around her area, there weren't too many streetlights. There didn't need to be now that the majority of her neighbours – most of them once being her clansmen – were all dead. The neighbours who remained were assholes she always hoped to avoid, so the lack of lighting at night was a blessing.
She copied his example, their arms brushing in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. However, try as she might to recall how Nawaki had effortlessly comforted her, Sakura struggled. Thinking back was agonising, especially when she was alone and had no way to ease that crushing loneliness.
"To think he sent a kid out," came his lowered mutter that sounded, dare she say, disappointed.
Sakura supposed that was how many in the village felt about the Sandaime. Unlike her, who received nothing but blow after painful blow, loss after unbearable loss, the others seemingly had reasons to like him. They were blinded by their lives there in the village, with parents and other family members admiring him and gushing about Sarutobi's brilliance. The kids didn't know any better. They couldn't. They were brainwashed.
Luckily for her, she'd spent the first few years of her life being a part of a real village.
"They – we were all kids," she argued. Tiredly, Sakura leaned more heavily into the wall and shut her eyes, the silence of the streets just as discomforting as she'd found in the days following the end of the second war. "Can you hear that, Kakashi?"
Frowning, he asked, "Hear what?"
"When I first moved to Konoha, the streets surrounding our home were never this quiet. It's not a district, but every house here belonged to a Senju clansman." She met his eye wearily, unafraid to express her mental exhaustion with him given all they'd been through. "They've been empty since the second war when Sarutobi recklessly sent them out to fight battles they couldn't win."
"You–"
"I know people die in wars, but some of these people were genin, Kakashi," she cut him off just as she registered his argument. "They were children who'd barely even graduated from the academy."
His voice was quiet. Gentle, even. "…Like Nawaki-san."
It took a great amount of effort to stiffen her bottom lip, though the dimples on her chin continued to show as she forced herself to say, "…Like Nawaki-nii."
When would the pain lessen? When would she be able to say his name and not feel so overwhelmed with grief and loneliness? Sakura had a sneaking suspicion that day would never come for her and even after so many years, her knees grew weak at the daunting reality of facing a lifetime of such agony.
Sensing him turning his head towards her, Sakura copied his example and breathed a sigh at what she witnessed in his haunted gaze. Looking into Kakashi's eye was like looking into a mirror, and she found comfort in knowing someone else could understand her pain.
Whatever moment was building was effortlessly shattered by the abrupt arrival of another, his footing light but more than enough to break their leaning forms apart. They jolted like coming out of a trance and Sakura tucked her chin towards her chest, willing the pounding of her heart to vanish before it gave her away.
"I didn't mean to interrupt–"
"You didn't," Sakura insisted and offered the young boy a smile. "What is it, Shisui-kun?"
He hesitated in approaching further, but soon did so anyway and tried his best to return her smile. Any idiot could see that it was foreign to him, however and in response, she felt her stomach sinking, because it shouldn't be that way. Shisui's smiles should have been effortless and bright and happy.
She would make sure they were one day.
"I wanted to thank you both for understanding earlier," he stated, looking between them both. "And for helping me when I couldn't."
"You were in shock," was Kakashi's light response and he shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Regardless, I wouldn't have known what to do in that situation. So, thank you."
"How is Itachi-kun?" she asked with a tinge of worry to her tone.
After informing Minato and Tsunade about his suicide attempt, Sakura had taken a step back knowing her part was done. It wasn't so much washing her hands of what happened, more so knowing that to push for updates or to question Minato in front of others (since in Obito's hospital room was the only time she saw him after their meeting) wasn't only overstepping boundaries, but essentially exposing perhaps the darkest part of Uchiha Itachi's little life.
She refused to worsen an already difficult time in his life.
There was so much potential that had yet to be tapped into. So much happiness and warmth he'd yet to experience. She was going to see him grow into a fine shinobi with friends and goals and likes and dislikes. More importantly, it was going to be within a reformed village that valued the lives of said shinobi, rather than carelessly tossed them into wars as fodder their leader couldn't care less about.
Goddamn it, they were so done with being fodder.
"Withdrawn," Shisui informed them with a notable tension in his shoulders. "His mother remained close after her meeting with Hokage-sama, however."
Uchiha Mikoto was gentler than her husband and Sakura was glad Minato spoke with her. Hopefully, it was a step in the right direction for the young boy.
"I better get inside," she announced when they fell into a short silence. "We have training first thing tomorrow."
"We do?"
Grinning wickedly at the frowns directed her way, Sakura sauntered over to her door and warned over her shoulder, "Last one there pays for lunch."
A real team, she thought happily to herself, warmed by their positive responses to her teasing.
She had a real team!
A/N - Sorry for the lack of updates! I had a baby and the whole pregnancy and adjusting now has been hard.
Also, don't worry! Any KakaSaku interactions will be minor and they won't affect the future ItaSaku - it's just life experience and as the summary states: Sakura no longer believes in love.
If you'd like to see my fanart (both SFW and NSFW), feel free to give my Twitter account a follow (RiseOTBlossom). I did originally post them onto my Ko-Fi but someone reported a NSFW drawing and had my account suspended until I deleted most of my artwork off there.
Anyways, hope you all enjoyed!
