Searching
They only had two days of classes before the weekend came. Something the students, especially the first years, were gratefully for. Sunday morning at Hogwarts found all the first year Gryffindor girls heading down to Breakfast together. They were thankful to have Jane and Marlene with them. For whatever reason the two of them seemed to pick up the layout of the castle the fastest.
"You should see Jane's house if you think this is confusing," Marlene remarked as the 8 Gryffindor girls sat down for dinner. They were the only first years there. (Probably because they were the only first years to have found the Great Hall without getting lost. Or perhaps because it was a Saturday.) "I swear hers is like a literal maze."
"I think one of my ancestors thought if they couldn't figure their way around it a trespasser wouldn't either." Jane shrugged.
"Why would they think they'd be trespassed?" Emmeline Vance asked.
"It was the medieval times, who knows." Jane shrugged again even though she knew that wasn't entirely exactly why.
"Even so, it's probably not as big as Hogwarts." Mary laughed.
"I wouldn't bet on it," Alice Fortescue muttered under her breath.
"What was that?" Dorcas Meadowes asked.
"Don't worry about it," Alice replied with a sheepish grin after Jane had given her an unladylike kick from under the table.
"I swear someone needs to make a map of this place!" Sirius Black groaned as he sat down across from Jane a several minutes later.
James Potter squeezed himself in between Jane and Lily. Peter Pettigrew sat next to Sirius on the other side of the table.
"You should get right on that, mate," James huffed as he slumped down as well. He started piling food onto his plate and shoveling it into his mouth. Lily looked at him in disgust.
"You might want to think about chewing some of it first, Potter." She wrinkled her nose and scooted farther away.
"Thank you, Mother, I didn't realize you would be coming to Hogwarts with me," he said with his mouth full.
"James," Jane nudged him sternly.
"I think I've lost my appetite," Lily pushed away her food and stood up.
James quickly swallowed his food. "You really shouldn't be skipping Breakfast. It's the most important meal of the day."
"Who's the mother now?" Sirius snorted.
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Relax, Potter," she said. "I've finished anyways."
She grabbed her things and marched out of the Great Hall.
"I get the feeling she doesn't really like us, mate," Sirius said.
"Where's Lupin?" Jane said after they had all watched Lily leave.
The three of four dormmates shrugged.
"He was gone before we had even woken up." Peter said so quietly Jane almost didn't hear him.
"We aren't his keepers," Sirius said with a wave of his hand.
Jane shared a look with James. He hadn't spoken to Lupin yet and she could see the guilt peeking through his slumped shoulders. He had hoped that he would be able to find him soon and talk to him. The other boy had been avoiding all of his dormmates all weekend.
As the Owl Post swooped in one dropped a letter in front of Jane. But she didn't open it. Instead she tucked it away. If her mother had responded to any of the inquiries Jane had sent the other day, she knew that she would need to be sure to not read them in a place where someone could easily look over her shoulder.
After breakfast James pulled Sirius and Peter into an unused classroom. Desks were pushed to the side with chairs stacked on top of it. It was clear the room hadn't been touched in awhile. They could see dust clouds in the air and layers of it on the surface.
"Oi!" Sirius said as he straightened out his clothes. "What's the matter with you?"
"It's Lupin," James said. "We have to find him."
"I don't think he wants to be found." Peter said quietly. "You've been trying all weekend."
"Yeah, mate, the bloke just doesn't like us." Sirius shrugged.
James glared.
"Yeah, because we got him into trouble on the first day!" James exclaimed.
"Woah!" Sirius said, surprised at James's outburst. He held up his hands as if to defend himself from James's anger. "He didn't get into any trouble, I did."
"But we caught him in the middle of it and he thought he could've gotten expelled." James argued.
"Well that's just dumb," Sirius said. "No ones been expelled before."
"That's not true," James said. "At least two people have before. Jane told me."
"Oh and she would know." Sirius said, rolling his eyes.
"If anyone would know, it would be her," James countered.
"Either way Lupin sets his clothes out the night before, he's not the type to get expelled." Sirius said.
"What does this have to do with us?" Peter asked.
"Thank you, Pettigrew!" Sirius pointed around him in agreement. "Yes, Potter. So what? He doesn't want us in his business so we leave it."
"Look. We're all going to be living together for the next seven years. We can't just let the poor kid spend his entire time at Hogwarts avoiding us. He should feel comfortable in his own room. And around his classmates. Hogwarts is supposed to be a home away from home. For everyone." James answered.
Sirius and Peter blinked at him. One in surprise and one awe. James had spoken with earnesty and such conviction that it was almost inspiring. For the words of an eleven year old anyway. Sirius started to understand how the Potter's had such great influence over many in the wizarding world. They were good with their words. Peter started applauding.
"Well said Potter!" Sirius clapped slowly, joining Peter. "McGonagall would be proud of that speech. Alright fine. We'll help you."
"Really?" James said, surprised. He figured it would take more convincing from two random boys he just met and happened to share a room with.
"Really," Peter said. "You're right. We have the next seven years together. Might as well."
"Besides, what else are we supposed to do on a Sunday," Sirius said with a shrug. "I'm bored."
"Alright I say we split to find him. I'll take the grounds. Sirius takes the first four floors and Peter you take the top three." James said with determination. He pushed his glasses firmly on his nose.
"Got it!" The other two said together. The three put their hands together in the middle and threw them up in agreement.
"Wait. How do we know when someone's found him?" Peter asked.
Sirius and James looked at each other and shrugged.
"I don't suppose any of us know how to send those flying note things," Sirius offered.
The other two shook their heads.
"Right then… meet back in the dormitory before lunch. And whoever finds him brings him there." Sirius suggested.
"What are we supposed to do if we find him hours before then?" Peter said.
"Not likely," Sirius said.
"Learn how to cast that flying note charm." James said at the same time with a grin and a shrug.
—
To my lovely daughter Jane,
I hope you have the sense to read this privately. Your mother has told me that you asked about the name Lupin. And I must ask you why? You see, one of my old friends from Hogwarts was named Lupin. Lyall Lupin. I haven't heard from him in years. I unfortunately can not tell you much out of respect for my old friend. But it does seem strange that you are asking about the name. As far as I am aware there shouldn't be anyone your age with that name. You were probably too young to remember him, but you did meet him. He used to have a son your age but there was an accident involving his son not many people knew about. After which he cut off all contact with me and others. As far as I am aware he lost his son from the incident. So there shouldn't be a Lupin at Hogwarts.
However if there is a Lupin at Hogwarts I must urge you to err on the side of caution. To have survived such a thing… well my apologies I really shouldn't say out of respect for him. Just be cautious of who you are around. And if his son is there do not tell your mother or she'll probably show up to either pull you out or curse your headmaster.
The letter hadn't answered a single one of Jane's questions and instead confused her even more. She was so tired of her parents telling her to stay away from her housemates. People who she knew to be kind. First Sirius. Now Lupin. Sirius, she understood. The Black family was certainly one to be cautious about. But Lupin? Father had mentioned that they used to be friends. So what had happened? It was clear that it had something to do with Remus. What was stranger to Jane was that her father said that she and Remus had known each other. But she didn't remember him at all.
Her mother had also written her and mentioned something about the Lupins:
Yes I know of the Lupins. They weren't a significant pureblood family but I did work with one a few times at the ministry a few years ago. I believe he married a muggle. Your father knows more, I'll see to it that he writes you.
She found her way to the Library. If her parents weren't going to answer her questions, she'd figure it out herself. Both her mother and her father knew the Lupins. Which meant they must be important enough to have some kind of record of them somewhere. Knowing that he worked at the Ministry with her mother made it easier to narrow down. She started in the Legal section.
The librarian had been incredibly unhelpful. She had given Jane a suspicious look when she had asked to be shown that section of the library. But Jane simply smiled politely and said that she wanted to learn more about her Mother's job. She didn't think Madame Prince believed her. But it didn't matter. She had found the place.
She quickly became confused; she didn't know what exactly Lupin's dad did in the ministry and her mother, well, being the Queen, was involved in a lot. She pulled any books that looked like they mentioned her mother's name or her Father's name. She found the Pureblood directory, though she wasn't sure what it was doing in the Hogwarts Library and especially in this section. It was something she had already been forced to read by her mother. But she hadn't quite memorized it and her mother did say the Lupins had been purebloods at some point. So perhaps they were in it. So she added it to her pile.
She got as much as she could carry and went to find a spot at a table. As she made her way there, she bumped straight into someone and she toppled backwards with books flying everywhere.
"Oh Jane!" A familiar voice said. "I am so sorry!"
She looked up to find Sirius holding his hand out to her. She graciously accepted it and he pulled her to her feet. Then he began to gather her books for her.
"Thank you," she replied. "What are you doing here? I didn't think you would be one to go to the library."
"I'm not but I figured Lupin would be." He answered with a shrug. "You haven't seen him have you?"
"No. But I'm under obligation from James that if I do see him I'm to hold him hostage until he can talk to him."
She accepted the books he was handing her. Sirius snorted and helped her carry books to a nearby table. His eye caught sight of a particular title.
"The Pureblood Directory?" He squinted at her with some notable distaste. "What on earth are you reading this for?"
"It's not the only book I have." Jane defended. Sirius began flipping through her pile.
"Notable Families in the Wizarding World, Wizards with Connections, What happens in Wizarding Courtrooms, the Basic guide to the Ministry of Magic, Wizengamot Trials of the 60's, A History of Magic, Extraordinary Wizarding Trials. Who's Who: Connections to the Wizarding Royal family," he read each book out loud. He gave her a strange look. "Isn't this stuff you're supposed to already know, Your Highness."
"Shh, keep your voice down," she whispered. "And don't call me that."
She grabbed his arm and forced him to sit down next to her. She couldn't tell him that she was trying to find out more about Lupin. And well he was still a Black even if he did seem different from his family so far. She had to choose her words carefully.
"I know I should already know this, but to be honest I never really paid attention in any of my lessons before." Jane shrugged. "They're boring."
Sirius snorted.
"Can't say I disagree, Mother's made me memorize the Directory," he said. "So what exactly are you looking for?"
"I'm not exactly sure," Jane confessed. "Mother's been mentioning some odd things about the old families in her letters. I don't exactly remember much about any of them. I think there's something going on that she's not telling me. I overheard my parents talking before Hogwarts about all those muggle attacks—"
She stopped herself. She hadn't meant to tell him all that. It wasn't what she was actually looking up. But it wasn't exactly a lie either. Her mother had mentioned some things about the old families and she was curious about it. (Although not curious enough to actually be looking it up in the Hogwarts Library at 11 years old). And it most certainly wasn't the smartest thing for her to bring up in front of the Black Heir. She watched his reaction carefully. His eyes widened. So he did know what she was talking about. But she didn't know what he had thought of it.
"Why on earth would you be looking up that!?" He said in a harsh whisper. "You shouldn't be meddling in that."
"I'm not!" She said defensively.
"You just said you were!"
"No! I said my mother mentioned some things about the old families." She repeated. "And I wasn't finished. She was telling me to stay away from some of them. I only figure it has something to do with what's been going on. I'm just looking up some of the families she warned me about."
She looked him up and down as she said that as if she could scan him for answers. It was clear he must know something. Being the heir of one of such families.
"She told you to stay away from me didn't she?" Sirius said softly.
Jane nodded guiltily. She didn't see any point in hiding it.
"Look, she's probably right. You've got to be careful." Sirius said. "Please don't meddle in this."
He thought of the rumors he overheard. His eldest cousin Bellatrix praised some mysterious new Dark Lord a few nights before he came during one of their family dinners. Apparently he was determined to bring back "true honor" to the Wizard World. He thought of the way his father would grunt in approval each time a muggle killing was listed in The Daily Prophet. The idea that this quiet yet assertive girl being anywhere near his cousin and her new friend made him sick.
"Look. I don't know much." He started. He looked around to make sure no one was listening. He even grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him to force her to look him in the eyes. "Only from listening in on my mother sometimes. She agrees of course with this group. The one behind the killings. Sympathizes with them. Course she'd never join. Thinks it's... not classy enough. Not that she really knows anything about class, anyways. She'd never follow someone who hasn't even shared his name. Names have power. Especially in the wizarding world. You know that."
"So no one knows who this leader is?" She asked. She squinted at him, confused.
"Nope. When they talk about it they just call him `you-know-who'." He said.
"That sounds kind of silly." Jane scoffed in disbelief.
"Quite," Sirius agreed. "But anyone who's been close enough to find out his name... is well. No longer with us I should say."
Jane felt a chill down her spine and pulled away from him to hug herself. How did they get to talking about this?
"Please. Jane," Sirius grabbed her hand again. "Don't get involved. Listen to your mother and watch out for whoever she said to. Including me. It's probably for the best."
Sirius grimaced as he stood up and walked away. He hadn't lied. He needed to stay clear of Jane. If his cousin Narcissa reported back to his Mother that they had gotten close. Who knows what his Mother might do. And if his cousin Bella found out… Well he hoped it never came to that.
He left her there feeling more confused than she was before. She was meant to be looking up stuff on Lupin not… whatever Sirius was talking about. She had to stay focused on that.
—
Remus Lupin was well aware that his dormmates were looking for him. It was easy. He was a werewolf who had very keen Hearing. He would leave as soon as he heard one of them barging to a room in the castle shouting his name. Sirius was right about one thing. He was in the Library. However, as soon as he heard him ask Jane if she had seen him he bolted, blissfully unaware of their very dark conversation. A part of him was touched that they seemed to care so much. He pushed that part of him aside. Once they found out he was a monster… they wouldn't be trying so hard.
He looked at his watch. Tonight would be his first full moon at Hogwarts. He wondered how early it would be acceptable for him to go to the hospital wing and for it to start. He was tired and his body already ached. If he was at the hospital wing he wouldn't have to keep running from the others. He was tired of running away from the friends that he wished he could have.
AN: Sorry all for the delay in updating. I rewrote this chapter at least 8 times. I meant to update by Halloween or Sirius's birthday but alas I failed. I hope you like the chapter though! and thank you for your patience.
