Edited 11.01.2021
A New Friend
Hana was right in the belief that she would regret her impromptu hugging of the two rivals. The regret started as soon as the hug finished, her thoughts racing a mile a minute at how stupid she was. You just don't hug people like that— she wasn't even friends with Kise and hardly considered Kuroko anything other than an acquaintance. This was a series of facts that Uoya was forced to listen to as she repeated the whole way home.
Finally, he'd had enough, "It was a hug, Hana-chan. I hug you all the time."
"Yeah, but you're you know, you," she waved a hand toward his messy hair, "You don't count!"
"… Okay," Uoya lifted his eyes to the night sky in resignation, "Stop thinking about it, you're being stupid."
"Easy for you to say," she sulked. They were enemies for gods-sake. She couldn't let herself forget that no matter how nice Kuroko was or how Kise reminded her of her childhood puppy. Catching sight of her pout, the boy beside her stifled his exhausted groan.
"You're thinking too hard," Uoya scolded, "It's easy. You were happy and you hugged them, problem over."
"Problem not over!" Hana looked up at Uoya in betrayal, "What if they get the wrong idea?"
"God, Hana. They won't get the wrong idea. Trust me," Uoya snorted. It was almost comical how farfetched that idea was. As if they could see Hana as anything other than terrifying.
"Whatever," she turned away from him in defiance. Her scuffed tennis shoes dragged on the sidewalk, kicking at a yellow pebble. He just didn't get it.
Side-eyeing her, Uoya almost laughed out loud, "You're blushing! Do you actually like one of them?" He questioned gleefully.
His glee promptly died when she lashed out, "Absolutely not, you moron!"
Uoya danced away from her punch and chuckled, "You're being mighty defensive there, Hana-chan. I'm sure their fan-club would welcome you with open arms!"
"I'm going to murder you and sell your body parts to the black market," she growled. Her eyes were an alarming shade of vibrant green and Uoya had the sudden realization that he might have pestered her a tad too much. He gulped, watching the way she stalked toward him warily.
"Ha-ha, you know I was kidding! Hey—" he squeaked, "Come on, calm down! Do not pick up that rock! Hana!"
xXx
The binder sat on her desk, staring her down. Hana bet if it could speak that it would be chastising her. Kise's profile was laid out in front of her, and she glared at the tiny picture of the blonde in the corner of the page. She'd been revamping his page for an hour, fixing the few areas she'd miscategorized about the blonde.
"Since when was he so smart?" she murmured to herself, pencil tapping at the next bullet point.
The blonde had caught her off guard in the locker room and she had no desire for that to happen again. Thinking back, it was almost impressive how Kise had flipped that situation around on her. He'd played on her sense of guilt and succeeded in making her fumble. It was a ruthless tactic for such a golden child to employ.
Not to mention he'd been scarily close to figuring out her weakness.
If he had paid any more attention to her reactions he would have noticed for sure. Which was most certainly not good. Not good at all.
"I'll need to work on that," she sipped on her chamomile tea, "Probably best to avoid one on one confrontations with all of them. Maybe even Kuroko-kun too…"
The blue haired boy was an anomaly. Physically, he wasn't strong enough to intimidate her like the others, but mentally, that boy could overpower her in a heart-beat. He was smarter than her and she'd dare to admit almost more observant. That had been a massive blow to her ego.
"Honey!" a voice called from downstairs, "Dinner!"
"Coming!" she glared once more at Kise's picture before slamming the binder shut. I didn't want to look at your face anymore, anyway. Grabbing her now lukewarm tea, she made her way to the steps and heard her father bustling around in the kitchen. The scene that greeted her was, sad to say, normal.
"Hey, how'd the game go?" her father was dressed in his normal tee-shirt and jeans attire, but the floral apron tied around his waist clashed terribly. His hair had remnants of flour and egg and his crocked nose was speckled with icing. "You guys win?"
"It was good," she answered as she surveyed the damage, stepping over a broken egg near the refrigerator, "Cupcakes?"
"Yup! I'm trying out a new recipe, I need you to taste test them for me," he gestured to the odd colored mishmash of pastries behind him. If you could even call them that. They had no discernable form and there was an odd smell radiating from the blender.
"You know they're green, right?" She questioned.
"They're lime flavored with a carrot flavored icing," he corrected proudly.
"Great…" shoulders slumping, she leaned against the counter, "I hope they aren't dinner?"
"Nope, I picked up some take-out from Aiko's on the way home," he jerked his shoulder toward the back of the kitchen and her eyes caught sight of the greasy bag on the table, "Go get what you want, I need to pop these in the oven."
"Thanks, dad," Hana walked to the table and dug around the bag for a cheeseburger, snagging a couple of fries as a reward, "Have you heard from mom?"
She heard a crash before her father answered, "I'm okay! Ouch—" the oven slammed shut, "And yeah, she got that promotion she was talking about. Mentioned something about having sent you a letter?"
Hana chewed tentatively on her cheeseburger, "Nu-uh," she swallowed, "Haven't got anything yet."
"Ugh," he wiped his hands off on the floral apron with a huff, "I hate sending mail to America, they always lose it."
"They've only lost it like, five times."
"Five times too many!" He grumped from the refrigerator. She heard a curse and a loud smack, "Do you think you could go buy some bug killer tomorrow? That's the second one today."
"Gross. I'll need money." Her father walked in and pouted at her as he grabbed a burger. Mixed with his five o'clock stubble and wrinkled cheeks, it was disturbing sight on a fifty-year-old man.
"You always want my money. Go get a job," he poked her shoulder as he passed, shoving the burger between his teeth.
Hana's lip curled up, "Do you remember last time?"
In an effort to offer her "worldly experience", her father had hired her at his bakery shop. It was an easy job and it had its perks. Free cake anyone? But she hadn't been able to hold the job for more than a month thanks to one tricky customer. He'd been a college student, judging by his Tokyo University sweatshirt, and had mistakenly believed Hana was old enough to be flirted with.
Her father's badly hidden smile told Hana he did, in fact, remember her last job. He tsked, "Don't throw cake at customers and maybe you wouldn't get fired from your own shop."
"I'm thirteen and he asked me on a date. Repeatedly," she defended. It would have been excusable if he'd stopped when he learned of her age, but if anything, it'd made him more persistent. Which was disgusting.
"Yes, I recall. Your mother was quite proud," his wrinkled face was struggling to appear stern. Despite the chastisement, she had a feeling he appreciated her actions too.
"That was good, by the way," she crumpled her wrapper up and tossed it into the trashcan, "Tasted better then yesterdays."
"You eat too fast," her father scolded as she moved to the sink to wash her hands, "Slow down or you'll choke."
As the soap trickled off her hands, Hana let a secretive smirk cover her face before replying, "That's what she said."
"Imamura—" her father choked, coughing out the last bit of her name, "Hana!"
"Thanks dad! Gotta go study now!"
"But the cupcakes!"
xXx
Turns out ditching her father hadn't been a great idea. The following morning, she'd tried to be sneaky in her escape, but he was a man well accustomed to her deceits. Before she could register it, her father had cornered her as she left to go to the store and practically shoved the box of cupcakes into her hands.
She gawked at the smushed box, "I can't eat all of these!"
"Make some more friends then," was his cheeky goodbye, "Lord knows you need them."
Because of that impromptu gift, Hana was now stomping down the street, barely avoiding the people walking around her. She held the box a good few inches away from her face, the occasionally smell of lime forcing her nose to wrinkle uncomfortably. Stupid cupcakes. Who wants lime flavored cupcakes anyway?
Her first choice had been to find Uoya, but he wasn't at his regular basketball court. Kitano had been her second, but she had no idea where the second-year lived. Now she was just wandering random streets and sidewalks hoping for a miracle. As each step passed with the cupcakes still in her possession, she felt her temper growing stronger.
"Damn it," she rolled her eyes at a mother covering her child's ears, "I'd rather be sleeping."
It was during her anger fueled monologue that she noticed a familiar blonde teenager walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk. He stood out like a sore thumb, nearly regal compared to the rest of the population on the street. At first, she debated the pros and cons of ducking into the nearest ally way but then her eyes landed on the large box of pastries in her arms.
She had a brilliant idea. It seemed a literal miracle had appeared to answer her prayers, "Kise-san!"
The blonde halted and looked around for the caller. He squinted through the bright sun before catching her eye, "Imamura-san?"
Hana made her way over to him, avoiding a hasty man on the phone who almost knocked into her. Smiling a tad too eagerly, she said, "How are you today?"
"I'm good," he was still confused. His stare flickered between her and the rest of the crowd, "Did you need something?"
"Actually, yes," her smile cut into her cheeks almost painfully, "I've been looking for you all morning!"
"… Really?" Hana tried to ignore his disbelief.
"Yeah! I knew I couldn't find Kuroko-kun so I had hoped to find you instead. I just wanted to thank you guys and Akashi-san for the help yesterday," she shook the box in her hands in explanation, hoping the faster she talked the less he'd understand.
"Okay, well you're welcome, Imamura-chan!" Kise's face changed to one of practiced happiness, but Hana could still sense his lack of understanding. It was time to go in for the kill.
"See, I bought these cupcakes for you guys, but I didn't want to wait until school to give them to you," she grinned up at him, "They might not taste as good by then."
"Oh… that's alright I don't really—"
"Here!" she shoved the box into Kise's bewildered face. He stumbled to grab them before they fell to the floor, snatching the box by the rumpled corners, and Hana took the convenient chance to escape. It wasn't meant to be, however. She was slipping by him when an iron-clad grip fell onto her wrist. Following its path up to his face, Hana cursed.
Kise gave her a pretty smile, but she could she the predatory glint in his eyes, "Thank you, Imamura-chan. But why are you really giving these to me?"
Hana deflated and tried to shake his hand off her wrist. It didn't budge, "Okay, so maybe they weren't for you originally."
"Clearly," he teased. As the situation registered in her mind, Hana became rattled. It was one thing to be teased by her teammates, but this was out of her realm of comfort. Her mouth began to move before her brain had time to process.
"My dad made them, and he wanted me to try them for him but they're green," she began to babble, "He said they were lime flavored and it just sounded disgusting. He told me to share them with my friends, so I was gonna shove them down Uoya-kun's throat but then you appeared, and it was just too good an opportunity to pass up and they have carrot flavored—"
Kise let out an amused huff and released her wrist, "Calm down. I thought you were supposed to be good at lying. That was terrible, Imamura-chan."
"I am!" she defended, "It's just…"
"You know most people wouldn't take that as an insult," he cut her off, smirking at her angered blush.
Realizing she had officially lost control of the situation, she shot him a weak glare, "So, what? Anyway, can you please keep the cupcakes? Doesn't Murasakibara-san like sweets?"
"He does," Kise nodded, but his expression still hinted toward devious, "You should come with me to give them to him tomorrow."
Now that sounded like the worst thing she could ever do. Murasakibara-san was huge— it'd be a one way ticket to death. She shook her head frantically, "Nope, no thanks. Just hand 'em to him and leave it at that. He doesn't need to know anything more."
"But, Imamura-chan," Kise teased, "It's your gift! You shouldn't be so cruel!"
"No, that's okay," she argued. A foreboding sinking feeling nestled in her gut. She remembered this expression; he was about to do something to piss her off.
"If you're sure…" he trailed off and glanced to the sky. Letting out a pleased sigh, he continued, "I'll just tell him they're from his secret admirer. Hopefully, Akashi-cchi doesn't look into it and discover the truth."
That was surprisingly more devious than she expected, and Hana gaped at him in shock. Nothing in his expression hinted toward regret and the feeling of dread turned into all out horror. They always did say the devil was handsome.
"That'd be super embarrassing, wouldn't it?" Kise finished with a faux smile. Hana felt her hand twitch and begged it not to curl up into a fist. She was sure Kise wouldn't appreciate a black eye to accompany his modeling career.
"You have no idea how badly I want to punch you right now," she stated honestly. It would be so satisfying.
"Oh, I do," Kise laughed, "But after seeing you on the court yesterday, you're much less intimidating now. Almost like a wet kitten."
It took a second for his insult to register, but when it did Hana snarled, "That's ironic. Because I've been equating you to a mentally stunted puppy for a while now."
"So mean!" He gasped out and let the fake tears build. They twinkled in his eyes, dipping over long lashes as he pouted down at her. Hana stared at him for a moment before huffing in aggravation and turning away. There was no point in arguing with this boy, since he seemed to enjoy it.
"…Okay," she ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "I'm done. You win. I can't handle fighting against someone so annoying."
Unbeknownst to Hana, Kise began to sulk at her easy surrender. The fake tears dried as easily as they came, his fake pout being replaced with a real frown of displeasure. That had been the most fun he'd had talking to a girl in a long time. Normally, the girls at school would fawn over him and compliment him at every turn, which had its perks of course. Still— despite most of her words being fueled by hatred, it was refreshing to see someone so open toward him. Not to mention how easy it was to rile her up. That was the metaphorical icing on top of the cake.
Speaking of icing... Kise peeked inside the box he still held, "Ne, have you even tasted one of these?"
Hana looked at the box of cupcakes warily, "No. Why?"
"I'm not giving these to Murasakibara-cchi until I know they don't taste bad! He'll crush me!"
"Well, that's your problem now, isn't it?" she smirked at him in satisfaction.
Kise shot her a quick pout before he remembered her submission to the earlier argument, "Nah-uh~ you surrendered, remember? It's your problem too!"
Hana narrowed her eyes, "Please do not make me eat those, Kise-san."
"But your dads the one that made them!" He laughed incredulously, "You know what to expect!"
"… I'm above begging but I will ask again. Please do not make me eat them."
"Awh, you'd look so cute begging though!"
Hana's eye twitched, "Kise—"
"If you eat one, I won't make you go with me to give them to Murasakibara-cchi~" He dangled the final offer over her head with a triumphant grin.
Hana scowled at him and grumbled under her breath. That was too good of an offer to pass up. She tenderly reached a hand toward the black cupcake box. Lifting the lid, she was assaulted with the overwhelming stench of lime, causing both her and Kise to flinch back. After she recovered, Hana took a steading breath and grabbed a soggy cupcake.
While this was happening, Kise was watching her with glee and Hana shot a sharp glare toward him as she lifted the monstrous cupcake, "I hope you're happy," were her last words as she took a tentative bite of the cupcake. As the taste registered, she barely restrained the urge to gag, "Jesus Christ—"
In the meantime, Kise had practically fallen to the floor in laughter. Watching her mouth pinch, eyes squint as she fought off tears of disgust was the most entertaining thing he'd seen all week. Her cheeks bulged as she finally swallowed the foul cupcake.
After recovering from her distress, Hana stared down at Kise unamused. She hissed, "You think this is funny?"
Kise tried to stifle his laughter but couldn't. He was barely able to offer out an amused, "Yes!"
The taste of lime still flooding her poor tastebuds, Hana face's darkened over and her eyes zeroed in on Kise's open mouth, "Well, I hope you'll find this just as funny."
His eyes flew wide at her wicked tone, "Wha—"
Before he could blink, Hana shoved the rest of the disgusting pastry into Kise's mouth. It spilled over his face and onto the sidewalk below, but it got the job done. The blonde choked and began to cough, hands flying desperately to his mouth and trying to claw the remnants out. He mentally wailed in pain; he'd never tasted something so horrible!
In return, Hana began to cackle. Kise narrowed his eyes on the manager as he spat the last of the cupcake out. His hand slowly snuck into the fallen box and retrieved another cupcake with a grim smirk. Using the skills learned in basketball practice, he aimed the cupcake straight at her face and launched it.
The cupcake hit its mark and Hana squawked in outrage before wiping her face off as best as she could, "Did you just—"
The two teens had a quick stare down, gold and green hues turning into thin slits, before both raced toward the remainder of the cupcakes. Hana reached it first and shoved her revenge into the smug jerk's face. As the cupcake smacked into his cheek, Kise threw his own in retaliation. Soon, cupcakes were being hurled at random and passersby forced to take cover.
xXx
"You got it in my hair…" Kise's melodramatics distracted Hana from her self-survey in the mirror. Curious green eyes flicked to him, and Hana let out a snort. He was right, she had certainly got it in his hair. The blond mop on top of his head was layered in specks of green cake bits and orange icing dribbled onto his forehead.
"I see that," she snorted, "You know for a basketball player your aim really needs work," Kise had hit her in the face twice, but the remainder of his assault laid on her shirt in multicolored splotches.
Kise huffed at her in indignation and ran the wet paper towel through his hair again, "This is never going to come out."
Hana let out another satisfied snort and wandered over to him. He looked up at her from his seat on the public toilet and pouted. For a second, she thought he looked almost adorable, but she shoved the traitorous thought away as quick as it came, "Hand me the towel, you suck at this."
"How can I suck at this? That makes no sense," he retorted, shoulders slumping.
"We've been in here for fifteen minutes now and you haven't been able to make a dent in it," Hana snatched the cloth out of his hand, "Obviously, you suck at this."
Gold eyes looked her over in reluctance, "I don't trust you."
"Back at you, cupcake," she smirked at him as she wrung the towel under the sink again. Quick hands tried to snatch it back, but Hana was faster. Kise blinked at her, his face adopting an annoyed mask before crumbling in resignation.
"You're not funny," his complaint was cut short as she roughly grabbed his head and began to scrub, "Aghk!"
Kise tried to twist out of her hold, but Hana grabbed his shoulders and forced him to sit still. After restraining him, she pulled his head closer to her and began to pick at his blonde hair with the towel. Unluckily for Kise, some of the icing had dried and several strands of hair were stuck together in tacky strips. At least the cake bits were coming out.
"Stop being so rough!" Kise whined, "I thought girls were supposed to be gentle!"
"That's sexist," she replied distractedly. There was one big chunk of icing over his left ear and no matter how much she rubbed the towel, it wouldn't budge. She lifted it up to examine it, only to pause at the slight shine of metal. Tilting her head, she looked closer, "I didn't know you had your ear pierced?"
"Well, I do! Ow…" he trailed off and lifted a hand to his head. His head was burning from Hana's harsh treatment of his hair. He was about to shoot another complaint at her, but when he turned to face her, he stopped at her annoyed frown.
"God," she whispered, "How much about you do I not know?"
Kise struggled to hear her, "I'm sorry?"
Hana threw the towel into his face and spun away from him. Ignoring his annoyed protest, she began to pace the length of the bathroom, "First off, you're not as clueless as I thought. Then, you outsmart me! I mean I expect that from some people, but I never even thought you would! And your stupid mind games, are they even mind games? Or is that just your personality?"
"I— my what? What are you talking about?" Kise stared at her bewildered. He forced himself to ignore his wounded ego, too overwhelmed with the sudden barrage of anger from the manager.
"And now! You have your ear pierced!" She twisted back around and pointed an accusing finger at him, "How do I miss all this!"
Kise eyed her finger warily and pushed it away from his face, "Is this all over an earring?"
"No, yes, I don't know!" Hana groaned. She couldn't look at him anymore without wanting to scream.
Turning away from him and his confusion, she went to the sink at the other side of the bathroom. Her reflection stared back at her wildly— her face bewildered and eyes searching for an answer that wasn't available. In the corner of the mirror, she could see Kise watching her intently from his seat on the toilet.
"Kuroko-cchi told us about how you have information on all us," he began cautiously, "Is that what you're talking about?"
"Sort of," Hana looked down into the dirty sink, "Everything I had on you was wrong. It's been driving me insane."
Kise didn't know what to do. Angry or upset females were not his forte, especially ones that tended to reside on the violent side. He didn't understand what the big deal was, it was just a notebook. How could she even have the correct information when they'd never had a conversation until recently?
"You're being silly," he stated as nicely as he could, the punch from yesterday still strong in his memories, "You know where you messed up, just fix it. There's no need to be dramatic."
She let out a deep breath before looking away from the sink. God, she really was being dramatic. Hana eyed him, "You're one to talk."
"Rude!" he grumped and stood up from the toilet; his knees were absolutely killing him. Standing up and stretching, he sauntered over to the sink next to Hana. As he eyed himself in the mirror, Kise frowned at his reflection, "You didn't get all the icing out!"
The manager blinked at him from below, "Well, I certainly can't now."
To demonstrate her point, she lifted her arm as high as she could, but her fingertips only reached the tips of his ears. Kise let out a surprised laugh, "You're as small as Kuroko-cchi. You two would make such cute, tiny babies~"
"Jesus—" Hana's cheeks erupted into flames as she smacked at his arm hard, "Don't say things like that!"
"No need to be embarrassed, Imamura-chan!" Kise shot her a happy smile, "It's cute."
Despite the compliment, Hana's face morphed into a defeated expression, "I'm leaving. I've had enough of you today," she kicked him in the ankle as she passed.
Kise let out a pained whimper before trudging after her. As he stood behind her, he watched in amusement as she peeked her head out from behind the restroom door and looked for any passersby. Apparently seeing no-one, she cautiously tipped toed out of the doorway. Kise let out another muted laugh as he followed her before slamming the door closed behind him.
Hana whipped around and brought her finger to her lips, "Hush!"
"Why? Don't want to be seen with me?" He teased, "Most girls would be honored."
She scoffed at his audacity, "We're leaving a public bathroom together! I don't want people to get the wrong idea."
"In case you've forgotten, you're the one that assaulted me earlier," Kise sang out beside her, not even trying to keep his voice down.
"How was that, in any way, considered assault?" Hana whispered furiously, sticking her head out behind the hallway. Where are his fan-girls when I need them?
"Denial doesn't become you, Imamura-chan," he was having way too much fun with this.
Hana glowered at him before darting from her hiding spot. She had been hoping to escape Kise, but sadly the blonde easily kept pace with her. A scowl graced her lips as Kise walked step in step with her, "I don't like you."
Kise smiled with unrestrained glee as he walked beside her, "You can't lie to me, Imamura-chan."
That statement stumped Hana for a moment, and she shot a panicked glance at Kise. The boy was still smiling, but Hana could tell he meant nothing more from his statement then to tease her. A relieved sigh left her lips. He's just teasing you, Hana. That's all.
"Where are we going?" Kise asked as they left the store.
"Why are you still here?" Hana shot him an annoyed grimace, "There is no we, but I am going to go get some roach killer."
"Well, I'll tag along then!"
She sighed, "Please, dear God, don't."
Above her head, Kise laughed silently. She was living up to her image as a wet kitten. He could imagine her fur prickling and everything. Reining in his amusement, he replied, "I've got to buy new shampoo anyway. I don't have enough at home to get this mess out of my hair."
Hana didn't deem him worthy of a reply and continued marching down the street. Kise kept pace with a joyful walk, even going as far as to hum under his breath. As his impromptu song continued Hana could feel her nerves slowly tick down, signaling she was moments away from exploding.
"Kise-san," she growled, "Shut up."
Kise pouted, but he ceased his humming. He looked over at his companion, "Kuroko-cchi never mentioned how uptight you were. It's no fun."
"Well Kuroko-kun doesn't drive me insane like you do," she shot him a disgusted glance, "I think you enjoy it. That's the only explanation I can think of for your parasite behavior."
He didn't even try to deny it, "It's fun to tease you. You just blush so much, it's hilarious! But that's not what I'm talking about," he paused contemplatively, "You're a lot meaner to me then you are to him, it's not fair~"
"I don't know what you're talking about, me and Kuroko-kun are only kinda friends—" she trailed off. She was realizing she didn't have a good reason why she was so mean to Kise other than ingrained habit. Sure, the male was annoying. But at the same time, his personality reminded her of a more arrogant Uoya and she certainly didn't hate Uoya like she tried to hate Kise.
"But aren't we friends too?" The blond hurried his pace and stepped in front of her with a well-practiced pout, "I mean I did help your team at the game yesterday, isn't that friendship worthy?"
"…I guess," Hana had a sinking feeling she wouldn't like where this conversation was going.
"So, you should be nice to me too! Like Kuroko-cchi!"
She sighed, "If I say yes will you move out of my way?"
"Yup!" He shot her a pretty smile, "But you have to call me Kise-kun, like you do with Kuroko-cchi!"
Hana stared at him. He was still blocking her path and subsequently the other people around them, but all she could focus on was how he looked. The sun was shining onto his blonde hair and making it sparkle obnoxiously. Even his teeth were twinkling. But the fact that he looked like a literal ray of light wasn't the issue.
It was the way his smile appeared as close to genuine as she had ever seen it directed toward her. He wasn't playing around for the moment, though his eyes sparked with a mischievous undertone. She couldn't sense that he was trying to hide anything or pull one over on her. It was odd, to say the least.
"Alright," she glanced to the sky to conceal her regretful blush, "… Kise-kun."
His returning grin was even brighter than the first as his hand latched onto her wrist and began to tug her toward the nearest store. As she focused on the dried icing in his hair and the back of his shirt, she let her thoughts drift away. In less than a week, she'd become saddled with two new friends. She heard Kise talking in the back of her mind, but she didn't bother to understand his excited babble.
God, I'm begging this isn't the start to a new pattern.
