Daughter of Three Suns

Chapter 10

After first meal, I followed my sister out into the desert surrounding the island. Rosalie had shaped and twisted vines into large people-shaped figures that stood upright in the sand. She showed me areas that were more vulnerable––the knee, the side of the head, the elbow. Places where a strike with the weighted end of my staff could maim or disable. I practiced hitting them, whirling and dancing around and in-between the figures, and trying to remember her instructions.

My shoulders and arms were aching when we finally stopped for mid-meal. I listened to Rosalie speak of the many things she had seen on her journeys in the desert. Her tales made me want to wander our world, too. The cave was cool, and I was very tired, but I couldn't seem to settle nor could I eat. The food tasted off somehow.

"Are you not hungry?" my sister asked.

"I thought I was," I replied. "But the fish doesn't taste the same. Could it be that a different species lives here?"

"Maybe. Perhaps you should rest this afternoon."

"No!" I shouted.

"Bella?"

"I'm sorry. I just feel very strange. I want to continue. Please."

"All right," Rosalie finally answered after studying me intently.

We returned to practicing. This time, I used the blade at the other end of my staff to cut, stab, and slash. I did not hesitate, did not hold back my strength. By the time I finished, two of the vine figures lay in pieces upon the sand. Panting and sweating, I stood over them, more than a little shocked at how good it felt to destroy them.

"I think that's enough for now," my sister told me. "You go bathe, and I'll prepare last meal."

By the time I returned, Rosalie had fish cakes and fresh berries waiting on the table. I devoured everything she placed in front of me and asked for more. The fish still had an unusual aftertaste, but it wasn't as strong as before, and I was very hungry.

Irina joined us for last-meal. After we finished, she showed us a sheath she had made from fish skin to hold the longer knife. It tied around my upper leg within easy reach of my hand. Although it seemed too long and awkward, she assured me it would fit after my transformation.

Then, she took two strips of cloth and crossed them over Rosalie's chest. Individual pockets were sewn along the length, and she slipped a small throwing knife and a disk into each one. They adjusted the strips and pockets, discussed ease of use, and finally decided to make a studier one from fish skins. The holders seemed much too big when she put them on me, but, once again, she assured me they would fit after my Metanora.

I fell asleep listening to them speak of home, of exploring the desert, of basherters and children, and only woke briefly when Rosalie carried me to my bed.

…..

The wake times that followed were spent practicing with my staff and learning to throw the disks and small knives. I threw myself into the practicing, never holding back, always using all my strength. At times, I felt an intense need to attack, to destroy the targets I saw as the enemy of my people. Rosalie had to insist that I rest, eat, and drink. Sometimes I noticed her watching me with worried eyes, and other times, I saw her smile and nod her head. She did not tell me what she was thinking.

The knives were the easiest to master. Holding them by the sharp tip, I would draw back my arm and throw them straight at the target. They would flip end over end, the chipped edges flashing in the sunlight before embedding themselves in the vine figures.

The disks were more challenging to control. Most had been shaped to fit a woman's hand, so I found it difficult to hold them without the sharp edges cutting my palms or fingers. After one particularly tough practice when my hands bled from tiny cuts and nicks, Irina started wrapping them with toughened fish skins for protection. I finally learned the secret to throwing the disks with accuracy was in the timing of the wrist flick but not before Rosalie and even Irina had to quickly move out of the way when some of my throws went far off course.

Rosalie made me practice until I could use the disks, the knives, and my staff with either hand. "You never know when one arm might be injured or restrained," she told me.

Each wake time ended the same: with a shared meal and me falling asleep while they talked. The soothing sound of their deep, women's voices and the exhaustion of physical activity, made sleep impossible to resist even when I tried to stay awake.

It was after one meal when I dozed on the floor pillows beside my sister, that Irina's angry voice woke me. "This isn't right, Rosalie. I thought we agreed to tell her. She needs to know what you're doing."

I kept very still, hoping to hear what they were saying about me.

"I'm preparing her," my sister answered. "You've seen how much bigger and stronger she's gotten since we've …" I held my breath waiting for her to finish. The silence continued until I heard her sigh.

"We know you're awake, Bella. No need to pretend."

"How did you know?" I sat up, glancing between the two of them.

My sister chuckled softly. "Because our hearing is as keen as our eyesight. So, you might as well join us."

"What is it that you're not telling me? What did you mean when you said you were preparing me? I can feel myself changing, but I don't know why." My voice rose with my anger. I could feel it burning inside me. "You want me to go to this evil place and rescue our women, but you keep secrets!"

"I'm sorry," my sister finally said. "You and Irina are correct. I need to tell you what we're doing here and why."

She shifted around on her floor pillow to face me. "You know that until a girl endures her Metanora she cannot become a woman. We grow very slowly, and because of that, we would never change enough to be able to have children. The …" She frowned, trying to find her words. "The strength of Daughter Sun's light makes all things, including us, grow and change faster. This change doesn't just begin when you walk into the desert, however. It begins before Daughter rises. It begins at the Anamnesis."

Rosalie reached out and took one of my hands in hers. Her fingers lightly traced my brown scar. I knew she was choosing her next words very carefully. "Have you noticed, little sister, what the women and the older girls are doing just before the basherti arrive?"

"The herbs," I began. "You crush the leaves and breathe in their dust. You let it cover your head and shoulders. Three times, you do this."

"Yes," Rosalie agreed. "The herbs start a change in us. It's a burning in the blood, a hunger, a longing deep within. For the women, it makes us want to become one with our basherter. To …" She stopped, searching for that right word again. "To take them into ourselves. For the girls, it makes the Metanora easier, less painful. We think that is why our foremothers began using the herb, to lessen the pain.

"But some of us …" She glanced over at Irina, who nodded her encouragement. "Some of us think that by using the herbs in small amounts over a longer period of time, it might make our daughters grow more quickly without having to endure a Metanora."

"That is … That is against Grandmother Spirit. It is not our way. How could you consider such a thing, Rosalie?" I demanded, pulling my hand away.

"Because I believe it was the way things were before Daughter Sun changed our world."

"But who would you …" I stared at my sister. The answer was obvious. "Me. You've been giving me the herbs," I finally whispered. "That's why the fish tasted differently. That's why I feel so … so …" My anger bubbled within me, and I stood quickly. "You should not have done this, Rosalie," I shouted at my sister as I paced the room. "This wasn't your decision to make. You should have asked me."

"I know, Bella, but you need to be ready for what is waiting on that world. I thought this would make you stronger and make your change easier."

"Will I still go through the Metanora? What will happen to me then."

Rosalie and Irina both stood and faced me as I paced. I recognized that burning inside she had spoken of. Her explanation made sense of all the strangeness I'd been feeling.

"You will still offer yourself to Daughter Sun," Irina answered my question. "We hope it will be easier and not as painful, and we believe it will only make you stronger and more powerful than you have already become."

"Who is the 'we'? Did Mother agree to this or does she even know what you're doing?"

"She knows," my sister answered. "She was not happy about it but finally agreed."

"Did you convince her?"

Rosalie sighed. "No," she eventually answered. "The, uh … seers."

"Alice. This was Alice's idea, wasn't it?"

"Not just hers," Irina finally spoke. "But she did see it."

I huffed at her answer. "Is this what you meant by 'experiments,' Irina? When you said they did things to you without your permission." I knew the answer even before she nodded. "Then I guess you know why I'm angry."

Before either of them could speak, I stomped from the room. My steps quickened as I neared the entrance to the rock island. Then, I was running across the sands, trying to leave behind all I had just learned.

…..

It felt good to run. My feet flew over the sand—sure and steady and strong. A very large, very tall sand dune blocked my way. I ran up it, only pausing to catch my breath when I stood at the very top. I had never felt so strong or so free.

When I looked back toward the little island, I was shocked to see how far I had come. Grandmother's small face peeked over the horizon behind the island, and I realized it must be time for sleeping. I wasn't tired though.

I turned, letting my gaze sweep over the land around me. The desert stretched as far as I could see, only interrupted here and there by other bare-rock islands. Everything was bathed in Mother Sun's golden light. It shimmered and sparkled in a way I had never seen before. My world is beautiful, I thought to myself and wondered why I had never noticed. Because, as a child you were never allowed to wander so far from your home. It was too dangerous for you to do so. My thoughts supplied the answer, and I knew they were true. But in this new body, this almost-woman's body, I could run this far and climb this tall dune. How much stronger, faster, and tougher would I be after my Metanora?

The breeze lifted my hair and cooled the sweat on my body. It rippled the sand around me and brought with it the smell of the desert—a scent of heat, of baked sand, a whiff of plant life. "Thank you, Grandmother," I whispered.

I heard a faint cry and looked up to see a basherter high above me. It circled once, then flew away toward Grandmother Sun. I watched until it disappeared in the distance. As I had so often in my life, I wondered what it would feel like to have the freedom of the skies. To ride the thermals, to see the land spread out below me. A fierce longing for something I never had but somehow knew I was missing swept over me. Tears pricked my eyes, and I shook my head. If this was what it felt like to be a woman, I wasn't sure I wouldn't choose to remain a girl.

I thought of the other girls—the ones my age who would never be allowed to change, to find their basherter, or to learn their destiny until the doorway to that evil world was closed. I thought of the women trapped in that world. Irina had said they were locked in rooms and terrible things were being done to them. I did not want to be the one to save them. I did not want to change our world, but both Mother and Rosalie had said it was my Moirai, my fate, to do so.

My gaze roamed the land around me. How tempting it was to just disappear into this vast wasteland, to find a rock island and make a home for myself. It was with these thoughts in my head as I contemplated the world around me that my attention was suddenly focused on something in the far distance. It was a red glow. I could only see a little, and it was very faint, but there was no mistaking that it was there.

Quickly, I turned to check on Grandmother Sun. She was still in her place just above the horizon behind me. Turning back, I found the red glow again, and this time, I had to accept what I was seeing. It was the opening Rosalie had spoken of, the one that would take me to another world where my basherter and my people needed rescuing. I had not changed into a woman yet, I shouldn't be able to see it. Yet I could.

Glancing up at Mother Sun, I realized that more than half her great bulk had already slipped below the horizon. Soon, she would disappear and start her long sleep. The time for Anamnesis was almost here, and then Daughter Sun would rule the sky. I would make my offering, emerge from my Metanora, and journey through that doorway. And because of what my sister and Irina had done, I knew what waited for me there, and I was prepared.

I was still upset with Rosalie but no longer angry. The herbs had given me this stronger body and allowed me this time alone in the desert. I would take this good memory with me when I went to that bad place.

I sat down on the top of the dune and watched the world turn around me. Sand shifted in the breeze and quietly sang of measureless time and endless life. There were soft rustlings and faint squeakings of small animals. A shape flew high overhead. It was followed by several more, and I traced their flight as they disappeared into the deep desert. I wondered what animal they could be. Grandmother Sun continued her endless circling.

I fell asleep, warmed by the sands that crept over me and guarded by the two suns in the sky.

…..

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by Grandmother's welcoming red face. It was time for waking, time to start a new cycle. I stood, stretched, and allowed myself one last lingering look at the land around me before turning my back to its beauty and facing the small island where Rosalie and Irina waited for me. My Moirai waited for me, too, and because of those two women, I was prepared for whatever it had planned for me.

Breaking into a run, I hurried toward my future and my fate.

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AN: Thanks to Sally and to everyone who is reading and reviewing.