"Welcome back to Drama Island Total, where the lose-... I mean campers are sitting in the Pissmas lodge and relaxing… a lodge that totally exists and will be brought up again in the story!" Piss smiled at the camera.

"Wait what huh?" Caleb jumped up out of a chair he was sitting in, "Weren't we just at the top of a cliff for a challenge? What the hell happened?"

"Yeah, and where's Maddie, Austin, Raven, Larisa, Repsac, The white-haired horndog, and Sophie? They were also with us!" Kaz asked, looking around for the missing campers.

Piss sighed in annoyance, "Look Kaz, this is a minisode! We don't have the word count to include everyone you spoiled brat! Anyways, Fres- I mean… I… picked the people who I figured deserved to be in today's episod- minisode!"

"Ok, but why is Picollo here?" Elodie raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Piss looked to his side, where Picollo was sitting down in a chair.

Picollo looked up at the host and let out a small 'hey'.

Piss clenched his fist, "HEY!" He stomped over to the clown, "Get your ass back in Unlawful!" Piss then slapped Picollo, causing the clown to disappear from the room.


FreshmEn: Yeah, I think it'd be really funny to have that scene.

GirlPower52 (goddammit Fresh, remember your co-writers name for fucks sake!): Yeah lol.

FreshmEn: Alright, I'm putting it in the doc now.

Girlpower52: The joke or our conversation?

FreshmEn: …yes.


"Anyways," Piss turned to face a non existant camera, "Welcome to the Pissmas special! Featuring everyone who matters minus Repsac!"

"God I love Pissmas! It's my favorite holiday ever!" Becky happily sighed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Caleb looked at Becky with a confused face, "This has literally never happened before! He just made it up!"

Piss shot a glare at Caleb, "...Take it back Caleb…"

"No! It's not a real holiday, you just made it up!" Caleb crossed his arms.

"That's it ghost boy! You asked for this!" Piss clapped his hands and Caleb was now… on a train?


Caleb: Huh? Where am I… and why am I talking in script format?

Don: Uh… hi…? …and welcome to Total Drama To-

Caleb: Man, where am I?


Back at the Pissmas lodge, the rest of the campers where staring in shock at Caleb being sent to who knows where.

"Woah… where did he go?" Alissa sat there with wide eyes.

A commercial popped up on the screen.


"This possible public murder is brought to you by Pillage: Light Stories!"


"Hey! It's not the break yet, get out of here!" Piss yelled at the commercial, which grew legs and ran away.

"You know… today has been really crazy." Elodie got up, "Too crazy for my tastes, I'm gonna go to bed."

Elodie walked over to the door, but was stopped by Piss, "Not until you open your Pissmas present first!"

"Pissmas present?" Elodie turned around and, sure enough, there were 7 gifts on the table. One gift for everyone, including Caleb but god knows where he is now.

"Open them…it's the only to free your souls!" Piss gave a wide smile.

"Oh, I love opening Pissmas gifts! It's the best thing ever!" Becky pulled her gift off the table and tore it to pieces, inside of her gift was a bat made of pure gold, "Awww, you know me so well Piss… I'm gonna kill some squirrels with it!" Becky bolted out of the door.

Elodie sighed and opened her box, revealing a 'how to make pretty explosions for dummies' book, "Alright I opened it, can I go to bed now?"

"I don't, can you?" Piss grinned.

"Let me sleep or I blow this place up…" Elodie growled.

"You may!" Piss yelped.

Kaz sighed as he held his box in his hands, catching the attention of Alissa.

"What's got you in a bad mood?" Alissa asked the salaryman.

"Oh, not much, just the fact that the reviewers are gonna kill us for uploading a Pissmas special and not part. 2 of episode 1." Kaz opened his box, revealing only a note that read 'Screw you -Alexis'. "This does not help." Kaz threw the box away.

"Aw cheer up!" Alissa opened her box, only for a swarm of bees to come out of it and start stinging her, "Oh! This is perfect!" Alissa shouted with joy as she passed out from the bee stings.

Kaz sighed and looked over at Courage who was playing with the wrapping paper, "Anything cheering you up?"

"I down't know! i wike thiws wwapping papew!" Courage threw that wrapping paper of to the side and pulled a book out from the box, "No way! The newest chaptew of my hit manga couwage!?"

"You have a manga?" Kaz raised an eyebrow, "That's… uh… totally sick chick!" Kaz tried his hardest to be like a fellow kid.

"I've heawd in thiws chaptew obwama uses ten pewcent of hiws powew! I gotta wead thiws!" Courage ran out of the Pissmas hall.

The last camper with an unopened present was Chase, who was holding his hands together and praying.

"Please be a hot woman… please be a hot woman… please be a hot woman…" Chase repeated to himself as he opened up the box, revealing that inside was a vacuum cleaner.

Chase threw the vacuum cleaner to the floor, "Oh, hardy har har!" Chase rolled his eyes, "It was one time!"

"Oh just be thankful for your gift!" Piss frowned at Chase.

"No! This is just a joke at my expense!" Chase pouted, "This sucks!"

The exact second Chase said that word, the world around suddenly changed into a void.


"Wait wha?" Chase got up, "Where am I?"

A bolt of lightning struck in front of Chase, and out came Repsac… but red!

"Wait Repsac? Is that you?" Chase looked over at the ghost.

"Yes… I am the Repsac of Pissmas Past… and I'm here to teach you about being grateful for the gif-"

"No! I just want a girlfriend!" Chase impatiently tapped his foot, causing the Repsac of Pissmas Past to sigh and disappear.

Another lightning bolt struck and out came Repsac… but blue! "Hello Chase, I am the Repsac of Pissmas Pres-"

"I don't care, take me back to the island and give me a chick or something!" Chase rudely interrupted the ghost.

"Fine… if you want to talk to him… it's your funeral." The Repsac of Pissmas Present disappeared.

"Whatever you say Rep." Chase groaned, annoyed at being stuck in a void.

A third and more powerful lightning bolt appeared, with Repsac… but green! Popping out of it.

"Chase Walker…" The green repsac towered over Chase, "I am the Repsac of Pissmas Future!"

"Ah cool, so you're the last one?" Chase got excited, "That means you can send me home right?"

"I can indeed, but that doesn't matter…" The Repsac of Pissmas Future growled, "What matters is that you're going to die some day, Chase…" The Repsac of Pissmas Future threatened Chase.

"Aw did you figure out how life works buddy?" Chase sarcastically clapped his hands, "Hey readers, give it up for Repsac for figuring out what happens to everyone!"

The Repsac growled in response but Chase stopped him, "Look man, I just want a big titty girlfriend and to get out of here, and we'll be all good. Can you just do that?"

"Oh my god fine! Since you won't take the life lesson seriously!" The final Repsac scowled in annoyance before snapping his fingers, causing Chase to appear in the Pissmas hall again.


Next to Chase was a very attractive woman, who was hugging him, "Oh my god…" Chase mumbled to himself, "Dreams do come true!" Chase shouted.

Chase grinned ear-to-ear, "HA! FUCK YOU JOHNNY AND YOUR TWO DISCORD ROLEPLAY GIRLFRIENDS! I HAVE A REAL LIFE ONE!" Chase screamed in triumph, "OH WHAT'S THAT? YOUR RIGHT HAND IS YOUR REAL LIFE GIRLFRIEND? SUCKS FOR YOU! MERRY PISSMAS AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! WOOOOOO!" Chase ran out of the Pissmas lodge with his new girlfriend.

"Ah… I love Pissmas," Piss turned to the audience, "Oh yeah, uh… tune in next time so we can finish episode 1! Uhh… bye now!"