Cockroaches:
Ghost discovers the meaning behind his spirt animal, the cockroach.
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Ghost remembered every inch of the cell he'd been confined to during his six-month stay with Roba, including his small cellmate, the cockroach. He'd called it bug. Bug had been his companion, the one thing in that hell hole that had not tried to hurt or take him. Bug had simply existed, occasionally exploring Ghost's skin, crawling over his hand in those moments when he couldn't find the willpower to move and always scuttling away quickly at the sound of the door opening.
A small, simple creature that had brought Ghost the echo of comfort.
Once Ghost was free of Roba's clutches, he often thought of Bug. Wondered if they were still alive or had been crushed by their next, less friendly roommate. Too trusting for such a tiny creature or maybe Ghost was too gentle.
Tom had tried everything to help him recover, even delving into spirituality. This was when Ghost found out the meaning behind the cockroach.
Resilience and survival. Yes, he supposed he could relate to that. Bug had been strong too, surviving that place and even thriving in it. Fearless in their approach and daring to even touch a human. Ghost often wished he could've saved the little creature and brought it back with him.
In the end, he took the totem bearing the cockroach, if only as a reminder of Bug. It made him feel better, having the small wooden carving. Maybe there was something to spirit animals after all.
He looked up more about cockroaches, learning they also represented darkness and renewal. They apparently indicated you made peace with your darkness. Ghost wouldn't go as far as to say he had done that, but he'd certainly accepted what had happened and was trying to move forward with his life.
It wasn't to be though. Roba came back with a vengeance.
His family dead and on the run, Ghost found himself back in Mexico hunting down Roba. Eventually, he returned to the facility and stood in his old cell. If Bug was alive, would he still be here? Ghost had his prisoner occupied in the adjacent room and knew he had time to spare so he sat down and waited.
Sure enough, ten minutes had passed when the tiny creature came scurrying over, not hesitating to crawl into his waiting hand. Ghost picked it up gently and examined it. Maybe it was Bug, maybe not he couldn't be sure. Either way, he was saving the creature this time and gently put him in the special jar he'd brought, just for Bug.
Bug came with him to Roba's secret jungle empire and watched the whole thing burn to the ground. They were the only two survivors of the man's experiments.
When Ghost joined task force one-four-one, so did his little companion. Bug got a nice new cage and all the food and water their little heart could desire. Ghost had looked up how long cockroaches could live, five years if cared for. He didn't know how old Bug was but hopefully, he was young. Ghost didn't think he would be ready to say goodbye to his companion for a long time yet. His cage soon grew into a terrarium. Ghost was constantly adding new things for Bug to explore.
Then the FNG arrived and Ghost learned his callsign was Roach.
They hit it off immediately. Roach was a lot like Bug in Ghost's opinion, small, unassuming but all the more interesting for it. Before long, their friendship had evolved and Ghost realised how much he cared for the other man and was delighted to find the feeling was mutual. He'd long given up on love.
The first time Roach entered his room, he was immediately drawn to Bug. Commandeering his chair, Roach peered into the terrarium and Ghost tried not to get too defensive. He didn't like people getting too close to Bug. Most people considered them pests and he wouldn't allow Roach to harm his companion.
"Do you know what cockroaches symbolise?" Roach asked, watching Bug curiously.
"What?"
"Community or family I suppose." Roach turned to look at him and smiled. "German cockroaches live in colonies. They keep each other safe and warn the others about danger. Go out in teams to get food, that kind of thing."
"Sounds like you know a lot about them."
Roach shrugged and his eyes followed Bug's movement across the latest addition to the terrarium, a new rock. "I looked it up after getting my callsign."
Ghost sat on the edge of the desk, watching Bug too. They'd made it to the top of the rock, antenna twitching in a way that Ghost knew all too well. He reached into the drawer and pulled out some food. Roach's eyes widened in delight and he snatched the bag away.
"Hey!"
"Can I?" He asked excitedly. "I promise I won't hurt..."
"Bug."
"Bug." Roach echoed and he smiled. "Nice name, creative."
"Shut up." Ghost carefully lifted off the top and glared at Roach. "Don't overfeed them."
"I won't." They watched as Bug quickly devoured the treats. "Where did you get them?"
"An old roommate of mine from my time with Roba."
Roach looked at him in surprise. "You saved a cockroach when you escaped?"
"No, when I went back I took Bug too." His eyes narrowed as Roach smiled. He'd never told anyone where Bug came from and if he laughed Ghost would hate it. "What?"
"Nothing... It's just really sweet is all. You saved them."
Ghost watched Bug settle down to nap. "They saved me."
Roach got up and hugged him from behind, hands resting over Ghost's chest. "I didn't realise you were such a softy."
"Only for cockroaches."
"Does that include me?"
"Sure thing, Roach."
He laughed, leaning down to kiss him.
Family, the final meaning behind the cockroach. Ghost had found that too in the comfort of another Roach.
