The next morning, I woke up earlier than usual. Last night, I didn't eat much, so the drowsiness that one usually gets from eating didn't knock me out until noon this time. I stretched a bit, ridding the tension from my joints, and then got up, slowly tiptoeing across the futon so as not to rouse the band of nitwits from their precious beauty sleep.
As I made my way to the alarm clock, I checked the time.
6:00 a.m. Right on the dot.
'Geez,' I thought, 'it really is early in the morning…'
I contemplated whether or not I should go to bed, but eventually decided against it. I already removed myself from the warmth and comfort of my blanket, so why should I even bother trying to put myself through that again? There were more important things at hand to think about anyways.
I hadn't decided on what my next plan was going to be.
Yeah, yeah I know, I mentioned before that I had a brilliant set of plans that could have only been formulated by a charismatic, enchanting, and brilliant man such as I. And while I still had those plans in mind, what needed to be figured out was how to execute them properly. Like, since plan-A failed, what plan would be plan-B? I wasn't anticipating for plan-A to fail as it did, but I still made other plans in advance just in case. But I never really decided upon which one of these plans would go next if the first one failed! Damn it Shittymatsu! Making things only more difficult! Ah, he truly is a pain in my ass.
I had been thinking about this since yesterday, and, unfortunately I still haven't picked one. I gotta figure out something quick though – I can't just take a break from an ingenious set of plans that quickly. It will make things much more awkward!
'Calm down Osomatsu,' I told myself, 'Stressing out about this won't help your situation...you need to be smart about this!'
Alright, I think I'll take a break for a moment in order to recollect my thoughts. I was admittedly a little hungry from eating so little last night, so I decided that maybe I'd just go downstairs and eat a snack before mom starts preparing breakfast.
So, I silently crept down the stairs so as to not wake mom and dad up, (didn't need to hear them nag me about eating up all of the snacks again) but, as it turns out, somebody was already in the kitchen.
"...Mom?" I questioned, "Is that you? Why are you up this early?"
She quickly turned to me in surprise, not at all expecting that I be here. From what it appeared, it looks like she was in the middle of cooking breakfast. I was a bit stunned at the fact that she woke up at around this time, but then again, I usually wake up five to six hours after the current time right now.
"I should be asking you that question, Osomatsu. You never wake up at this hour unless you're trying to catch some event at the pachinko parlor."
"Well," I started, as I slyly glanced her way, "I guess I couldn't sleep all that well. 'Decided to get up and stretch a lil' bit if you know what I'm saying."
I could tell that she didn't really believe me, as she gave me quite the skeptical look.
"So no pachinko? No horse races?"
"Nope. Nada."
"Hmm…," her eyes narrowed slightly, "are you feeling alright?"
"Huh? What are you talking about mom? Of course I'm okay."
She put down the utensil in her hands, something that I had assumed she was using for cooking this morning, and slowly came over to me.
"Here," she demanded, as her hand outstretched "Let me feel your head,"
"Mooom! I said I'm fine~" I pushed her hand away and stepped away.
"Let me feel your forehead Osomatsu! You're not acting right!"
"No mooommm~ You're so embarrassing!"
"What's going on with you two?"
We both turned at the sudden sound of a new voice. Looks like Todomatsu was an early riser today too.
"Why'd you wake up Totty? It's only a little bit after six." It may be extremely unusual for me to be up this early, but it was also unusual for Totty as well. He likes to get his beauty sleep.
"Well~ I'm going out tomorrow with some lady friends of mine, so I have to go out and get ready. I need to go downtown to the shopping district and buy some more beauty supplies, like that new facial cleanser that I saw the other day, and that toner that just went on sale. Also wanted to check out this new sheet mask that people were totally raving about on Instagram last week. I heard it not only moisturizes your face really well, but that it also helps remove acne scars too~ I don't really have acne scars like that though!...Okay maybe a little but I will definitely try it out if celebs and Instagram models are using it in their daily care routine~ I just have too! There's also this retinol oil that-"
"Okay! Totty! We understand already!" I hurriedly interjected before he could continue on with his incessant maundering. My intentions weren't to be rude, but I couldn't take anymore of his little eulogy on beauty products. Why is he so obsessed with beauty products!? Just WHY!?
"Todomatsu! Your brother is sick and he's not letting me check his temperature! I'm afraid that he has a fever or something!"
"Mom! For the last time already, I'm not sick!" I yelled. Man, what is up with this woman? What is up with this insane family of mine!?
"Knock some sense into your brother, Todomatsu!" Now mom was trying to get Totty to come after me as well...just great...Man, what a persistent old bugger that woman is! Can't give it up for the life of me!
"Arrghhh!" I groaned in irritation.
"It is a little weird though…" Todomatsu rubbed his chin as he began speaking to me once more, "You're never up this early. Actually, you're usually the last of us to wake up. It's strange…"
It seems my plans for a snack before breakfast was not possible for today, but another idea came across my mind. Something that could possibly help me and this little issue of mine.
"Okay Totty," I replied to him in a rather curt and firm manner, "I'll tell you what's up. Let's go sit in the living room so mom can finish breakfast." Totty seemed a bit confused, but from the looks of it he was willing to come with me.
"If you're sick you better bring your ass up those stairs!" Mom called out to us as Totty and I departed from the kitchen.
"MOOOMM~!"
I sat down at the chabudai as Totty went and sat at the opposite end. Temporarily, he put his phone down and looked my way, evidently confused about my mannerisms and course of action.
"So what's up Osomatsu nii-san? What's the problem?"
"...As you know, Totty, I wasn't here yesterday. Well, at least in the evening that is." I began to recall, recollecting my memory from the day before.
"Yeah, I noticed that. That was too bad, since mom made such a nice dinner. So what gives? Were you playing pachinko yesterday?"
"No, I chose to go chill at Chibita's stand. I needed some time to myself."
He gave me an inquiring gaze, seemingly trying to scrutinize the intent behind my actions. I guess this serious behavior of mine was kind of off-putting to him.
"For what? Is something the matter?"
I paused for a bit before choosing my next words carefully. There was no need for me to reveal the gist of my motives with him anyways – don't want to spoil the plan.
"...Say Totty...can I ask you a question?"
"Umm...sure, go right ahead. Don't need to be all weird about it though."
"...when did Karamatsu come back home yesterday?" I questioned.
"...Huh? Why? Did something happen between you and Karamatsu nii-san?"
"Just answer the question."
He gave me another odd look – one that appeared more puzzled than the last. I guess he didn't think too much about it though, seeing as he shrugged his shoulders and began swiping through his phone again.
"He came home at around dinner time, so like, 5:30 last night."
"Did he say anything when he came back? Anything about me?"
Todomatsu temporarily tilted his head and put his finger onto his lip, trying to remember if Karamatsu said anything at all relevant.
"No, not at all really. Last night was pretty tame overall. Dinner was peaceful, and we all just bugged off after we ate. The highlight of the night was mainly Choromatsu nii-san and Jyshimatsu nii-san fighting over soy sauce. That was pretty funny I guess…Oh! Karamatsu nii-san did say something though, now that I remember it!"
"What'd he say?" I asked. Perhaps I hadn't noticed it, but there was a small feeling of excitement bubbling up inside of me.
"Well, he just went on and on about this song he sung at the park yesterday! It was, like, super annoying and totally cringe! I guess he was just trying to pick up some chicks and all, but he sucks major ass at doing so. He wouldn't shut up about how 'marvelous' and 'spectacular' his little song was either, annoyingly enough. It wasn't until Ichimatsu nii-san got tired of his shit and literally attacked him before he shut his damn trap up. Gosh, why are my brothers all so cringey? Especially Painfulmatsu...Christ!" Totty grumbled, his voice becoming more irate the longer he went on in his tirade of complaints against his brothers.
I really wasn't listening all that much to his story and instead chose to dwell on the information that I cared about. Looks like Karamatsu didn't say much about me it seems, even with my 'unusual' behavior. Deep inside, it irked me a bit – how dare that asshole ignore me!?
"Uh….Osomatsu? You there?"
I jumped and turned to a hand waving in my face.
"Uhh...oh yeah, sorry Totty. Thanks for the info."
"Hey...are you okay? You're acting like, really, really weird today. Did Karamatsu nii-san do something to you?"
Alright. Now's the time to ask.
"Hey, Totty? Keep this between me and you alright? I need some advice." I turned my head from looking his way and instead chose to glance at the window. Looking out the window and staring at the scenery outdoors helped me collect my thoughts better.
"Oh, okay…What's the problem?"
"So, I am having a little problem with Karamatsu-"
"So he did do something to you!" He yelled out, somewhat disrupting my train of thought.
"...errr...I wouldn't exactly put it that way but….Anyways! Look! That's not the problem at hand. I am 'mad' at him per say, and I want to get back at him – but not with some sort of violent or malignant revenge! I need something...say...a little more subtle. I want to go easy on him, and I want him to see his wrongs – don't want to pull the big guns on him yet. As you can clearly see, I attest to being a merciful and loving brother."
"Ahh, I catch your point…" He looked even more disconcerted than before, finding my display at hand to be rather...inscrutable and hard to properly define.
"Great! So any ideas?"
"Hmmm...maybe the silent treatment?" It seems like Totty had just read my mind. I wanted some sort of affirmation before I went on with this course of action, and playing the 'silent-treatment' was one of my top choices. Glad Totty thinks that this is a good idea as well (he is related to someone as charming as me after all~). I'll continue to play stupid though, since I want to make sure that I am confident in my next plan before I take any further action.
"Why so?"
"Well, as you obviously know~ I watch a lot of reality T.V show dramas and am absolutely addicted to social media – meaning, that I am well versed in the art of drama and gossip. And what I do know, is that women who are mad at their boyfriends always seek out the silent treatment as the first type of punishment. And it's really effective too, seeing as most of the girls who post about their little 'punishments' online always talk about how their boyfriends do literally anything to get their attentions back – like buy them expensive gifts and stuff. It's like being a gold-digger but without all the hard work!~" Todomatsu spouted on rather cheerfully.
"...I'm not going to question why your into the stuff you're into even though I do worry about you...but that's irrelevant to the conversation anyways! Do you really think that the silent treatment will work?" I asked.
"I guess it should eventually. I mean, Karamatsu is such a narc anyways. I heard that narcs totally hate being ignored. Like, if you ignore a narc it'll be like stabbing them to death or something like that."
"But don't we mostly ignore Karamatsu anyways? Like, last week, he fell off the roof again apparently, but I only found out because mom told me...Though, I do remember hearing someone scream and cry for help….also wasn't he a bit bloody that day too? Huh... don't really remember…" I seemed to be asking myself that question more so than to Todomatsu.
"'Mostly' – that's the keyword. You have to completely ignore him. If you only ignore him mostly you aren't punishing him, now are you?"
"Yeah, I guess you're right…"
"In order to feel the full effect, Osomatsu nii-san, you need to pull through all the way. Not part of the way, all of the way. Those girls would never have gotten their Gucci purses or their Micheal Kors jacket from their attention hungry boyfriends if they had backpedaled on their word. Girls don't play. And neither should you. Not saying that Karamatsu is going to go so far as to buy you some brand-name outfit, but he probably will try to get your attention somehow if you keep on ignoring him, seeing how much of an unrelenting narc he is. He legit starves for attention."
"Thanks for the advice Totty. I just wanted to make sure to pick the right course of action...but then again Totty...if you claim that it works so much, then why don't you yourself do it whenever you get pissed off at us?" This is a question that had crept up in my mind as I had listened to him speak. I was very curious.
"Ah, good question!" he said this in a rather jovial fashion, which was unsettlingly eerie to say the least, "Well, you guys deserve much, much, worse than the silent treatment~. The silent treatment as a punishment doesn't satisfy me when dealing with the likes of you all~ It's totally lame for people as awful and as horrible as you guys are! When dealing with you assholes, I would rather plot out something more..heinous? Unscrupulous, maybe? Tee-hee~."
I shivered at his words and prayed to God that he hadn't noticed (Predators can smell weakness, I heard about this on the Animal Channel). Man, Totty put on this cute facade, but in reality, he truly was a sick and cunning bastard. He was scary, but I had to admit, it was admirable.
"Ahahaha….let's not go too much into that." I tried to change the subject matter as quickly as possible, "Anyways, thanks again. I owe you one. Also, keep this between you and me...actually, for that matter, it would be best if you pretended that this conversation never happened."
"Mmmm...well I'm not feeling particularly evil today, so I won't bait or blackmail you this time around. However, don't you for a moment abuse my kindness. You better be especially nice to me all month you hear? If you aren't, then I'm going to pay you back double for whatever you do –"
"Alright, alright, I get it," I interrupted him, quickly trying to steer his mind away from whatever nefarious thought he had on his mind. "But again, thanks Totty. I'm going to enact my plan once everyone is up for breakfast."
"But hey, why are you so mad at Karamatsu nii-san anyways? Really, I want to know. Did something happen between you two recently?"
"Hmmph," I rose from my seat quickly, as an impish leer spread across my face, "Karamatsu simply doesn't understand his place. That's all." And with that, I left the room leaving a dumbfounded and utterly baffled Totty behind. My words were condescendingly vague, but I didn't feel like telling him the details. All I need to worry about as of now were my goals.
Now it is time...time to enact my second plan:
– Mission II: Operation Blackballing, Cold Shoulder –
Around forty five minutes later, mom was finishing up breakfast. I leaned backwards in the chair by the kitchen table, slowly rocking myself back and forth as I prepared myself mentally for the day.
'I'm not gonna lose this time, Shittymatsu!'
And with that purposed thought of mine, a new found ambition roiled turbulently inside of me, as if I had just reached some sort of epiphany – a resolute answer that would solve my problem.
Yes, Karamatsu...I'll show you not to make a fool out of me. My determination never exhausts – rather, it is brilliantly burning passion that grows brighter by the day. You'll be calling me 'Onii-chan' before you know it!
"OSOMATSU!"
At the sound of my mother's voice, I squealed and crashed into the floor, bumping my poor head in the process...Looks like I was so intertwined with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed her trying to get my attention.
"Ouch! What gives mom!?"
"I've been calling you for the past two minutes and you haven't heard a thing that I've been saying! And you've had this really weird smug look on your face as well! After you eat, I want you to go straight upstairs young man! You are sick and you need to rest!" She demanded. Seems like the old bastard really doesn't know when to give it a rest with that sick stuff.
"Alright mom...anyways, is the food done?" I asked of her as I rubbed my sore throbbing head. That fall really hurt me a lot.
"Yes, the food is done. Go get Totty and help set the food on the table. I'm going to wake the rest of those NEET brothers of yours up."
"Okay ma', will do~."
By the time Todomatsu and I finished the table, the rest of those dolts started coming down the stairs.
"Morning sleepy-heads~" Todomatsu chirped as they started to crowd the room. Choromatsu was the first to speak, seeing as the rest of them were still somewhat groggy (They had just waken up, after all).
"Breakfast smells good~ You really outdone yourself today mom!" Choromatsu delightedly beamed, as he took a seat next to me by the table. He looked really eager to try out mom's breakfast today.
"Anything is alright...as long as it's not natto...yuck." Ichimatsu mumbled under his breath, taking a seat at the opposite end of the table.
"Now, now, now! I better not hear you complain about my food! Do you hear me? Everything on that table better be completely gone in the next thirty minutes!" Apparently, mom had taken ear of Ichimatsu's complaints.
Jyushimatsu and Karamatsu subsequently followed the rest in sitting down at the table, with Jyushimatsu sitting on the other side of me, and Karamatsu sitting on the other end of the table with Todomatsu and Ichimatsu.
"Osomatsu nii-san, Totty, why are you two up so early~? Isn't that somewhat strange~?" Jyushimatsu inquired, gazing happily towards the both of us.
"Well, I have to leave out in a bit. I'm going shopping today~." Todomatsu replied in an cheery manner, seemingly excited at the chance to go on a shopping spree.
"What about you Osomatsu? You're the last person who would wake up at this time." Choromatsu stopped eating and looked at me questioningly.
Gotta play this cool.
"...Just felt like waking up early. Wasn't really all that tired last night anyways." I said this in a rather bluntly succinct kind of way, returning to eating my breakfast soon after.
There was a brief silence, and I could feel their gazes becoming fixated on me. I didn't give them the benefit of the doubt though – I continued eating as if I hadn't said something unusual or odd.
"Huh. Okay...Well, anyways, I'm just as excited as you are Todomatsu! Comiket just started today so I'm heading out as well!"
"Ew…is that the dorky anime convention that you kept on raving about? Totally G.R.O.S.S." Todomatsu grimaced at Fappymatsu's enthusiasm.
"It's not just anime, I'm going there for the doujinshi. Things like artbooks and merchandise~. It's my favorite time of the year! I'm really excited! My favorite artist is having a panel there this year too~."
"Disgusting! Can you please not enlighten us with your little dorkish endeavors? I don't want to have an upset stomach before I go out today!"
"Hmph, I believe that such dazzling passion is of the utmost beauty, since it is one of strong endeavor. May we all aspire to be as flatteringly and fervently ardent towards the things that we love ~ " Karamatsu chimed into the conversation as well, his eyes sparkling coruscatingly, like the myriads of shinning luminaries that be-speckle the night sky.
"…"
"…"
"Hmm….what's up with the silence? Bruzzahs is everything alright? Are you taken aback by my flowery use of language? My awe-inspiring ambition? Or perhaps it is my never faltering spirit driving me that astounds you all?" Karamatsu inquired. That smug grin of his was still plastered onto that shitty face of his. It was really painful!
"OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! PAINFUL! PAAIIINNFFFULLL!" Jyshimatsu screamed into the air, feigning pain by jumping up and down, clutching his head in supposed agony.
"...why the hell did I remain seated next to shittymatsu? The poor decisions that I make in my life…no wonder why I constantly yearn for my imminent demise…" Ichimatsu groaned, mumbling to himself.
"Just, why the hell are you so cringey, Karamatsu nii-san!? Gosh! We are TRYING to eat here! Don't you see!? Please for the LOVE of GOD, shut the hell up while we're eating!" Todomatsu chastised him.
So breakfast went by normally, with everyone being overly excited and rambunctious as they are usually. It seems like only I was being rather lax and quiet today…
A couple minutes later, the subject has changed once again, and for the most part, everyone went back to finishing their meal.
"Hey, Osomatsu-"
My ears perked at the distictive voice who called my name. He spoke before, but now his speech was directed towards me.
"Osomatsu, can you pass over the soy sauce?"
I pretended that I hadn't heard him, continuing to chow down on my meal that was close to finishing.
"Uhhh….Osomatsu…? Did you hear me?"
I still chose to ignore him – I will not pay him any mind. This is a game between me and him, and only one will become victorious in the end.
"Hey, Osomatsu," Choromatsu called to me. Him and the others chose to shoot their gazes at me once again. "Karamatsu was asking you for the soy sauc-"
I quickly shot up and leaned back, stretching my back.
"Ahh, looks like I'm done with breakfast!"
I grabbed my bowl and went into the kitchen with mom, leaving the rest of them behind, flabberghasted. I then proceeded to dump my bowl into the sink so that mom or whoever has dish duty today could wash them. After that, I hurriedly headed up the stairs, grabbed my clothes out the closet and went into the bathroom.
'Damn Shittymatsu,' I thought to myself, 'trying to get me to lose by sparking everyone's attention huh? Well I won't lose this little battle of ours that easily! What kind of fool do you take me for!?'
Everyone, with the exception of Totty of course, may have found my behavior concerning, but they're going to have to put up with it for now. Karamatsu is going to call me 'onii-chan' whether he likes it or not...(I would prefer him to willingly and loving me call me so, however).
I took off my pajamas, and threw on some more clothes to go outside in. I planned to make an excuse to go out today, so that avoiding and ignoring Karamatsu could be an easier chore. Why make things harder for myself by sticking around here all day?
I went back downstairs and told mom that I would be off.
"Where do you think you're going young man? Didn't I tell you to bring that behind of yours straight up those stairs!?"
"Ummm…" I quickly pondered over what excuse I should give her, "Well! I noticed that we ran out of beer when I opened the fridge, so I thought that it'd be a good idea for me to grab some more. Oh! And also, I am sick! So...I'm going to the store to buy some medicine alright?"
"Hmmm…" She had this really bad habit of squinting her eyes whenever she was skeptical of my actions. Man, she always seems to do that doesn't she? It's like she doesn't trust me at all.
"...What's...what's wrong mom?" I questioned her, worryingly.
"...I can go get it. Me and your father are planning on heading out today anyways...you need some rest Osomatsu."
"No, no, no, that's okay mom. I need some fresh air. The crisp air of the mornin' always lightens the day you hear? It'll only be just a minute, I'll be back in no time, seeing as the store is just down the street." She was rather doubtful of me, so I tried to ease that feeling by joking around with her a bit.
"...Okay, but you better be back home within the next hour. You hear me? I want you home in an hour, or else I will have one of your brothers go snatch you up and bring that behind of yours back here!"
"Okay ma...geez." Christ is she annoying.
And so, before anyone could stop me, I ran out the door to go grab some of that sweet, sweet, alcohol. But most importantly, I needed to try and avoid Karamatsu as much as possible.
I had dawdled and loitered around the store for quite a bit before I actually picked up a pack of beer and some snacks. (Kit-kats were on sale today~) Coincidentally, the moment I walked out of the store, I saw Totty walking past with bags in his hands. Looks like he already had done his shopping.
"Well gee~," I called out to him, "looks like somebody already picked some things out already."
He turned my way, surprised by the fact that I would be out and around in this area. Seems like he wasn't anticipating my presence at all.
"Hey Osomatsu nii-san, where have you been? Did you just come from out of the convenience store?"
"Yeah, I went to go pick up some more beer. We were runnin' out of the ol' good stuff so I decided to pick some more up." I purposely neglected to tell him about the Kitkats in my pocket. (Nobody could have them, they were mine!)
"So that's where you crawled off too huh?" Totty said as he played with his hat a bit. "The others were really wondering about you...though, Karamatsu didn't say too much."
Of course he wouldn't say too much – he's in total shock!
"Wow...aren't I good at this?" I smiled brightly, as I lauded in favor of myself, "Looks like I really got him. Too shocked for words, huh Totty? Aren't I just great?"
"Yeah yeah yeah," Totty acknowledged, albeit disinterestedly, (he was most likely lying) "You kind of made it very obvious that you were ignoring him though...but it doesn't matter, he probably didn't fully understand that since he's an idiot anyways. And I guess that's your intention too huh? You want him to know straight off the bat that your ignoring him."
"Yep! No need to prolong this more than I than I intended to. Well, anyways, I'm going to head back home and crack open a beer. What is everybody else up to?" I questioned.
"Nothing much...Choromatsu is getting ready to leave, and I think the rest of them are just lazing around. Maybe Karamatsu nii-san will go screech and fail at playing guitar on the roof again today."
"Ah, I see...well thanks Totty. I'll leave a cold one in the fridge just for you." I winked and gave him a thumbs up before taking my leave.
I came back just in time, about an hour later, and headed right into the living room after setting the beer down. Before I could sit and watch T.V, Fappymatsu entered into the room. He was dressed up very nicely for someone who was going to spend the bulk of their money on crappy otaku-themed merchandise and pornography.
"Oh...hey, Osomatsu nii-san…
"What's up Fappyski?" I decided to feign ignorance and tease him a bit. Getting on Fappymatsu's nerves was always fun.
"Hey...HEY! Don't call me 'Fappyski' you asshole!" He nagged.
"Huh~? What's wrong? Is that name a little too...'personal'?" I cooed.
"Why, why you-!"
"I'm just messing' with ya Fappymatsu," he growled at my incessant usage of his nickname, "Anyways, what do you want? Are you here to watch T.V with your 'big bro'? Your, 'onii-chan'?"
"I think you heard me already this morning, but I'm planning on going to Comiket today. I don't have time to lounge around and watch T.V today."
"Aww….why do you have to do that to me? Why'd you get all my hopes up Fappyski? Your onii-chan wants to play with you~"
"For the LAST time! Can you stop calling me that!? And anyways, I just came to check in on you. You were acting pretty weird this morning at breakfast. Are you okay?"
"Dawww, Fappyski really does care about his onii-chan~." I really enjoyed the feeling of making him angry.
"OKAY, THAT'S IT, if you call me any iteration of 'Fappyski' or 'Fappymatsu' one more time-"
I turned from him and resumed to staring at the television screen, fiddling around with the remote.
"I'm fine. Just felt like leaving...that's all." I murmured as I disrupted his little tirade. That answer didn't seem to appease him though.
"...Osomatsu? Are you really okay? You really don't sound like your usual self. You're really acting different from your usual self..."
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Go have fun today okay? Come back home so Onii-chan won't feel lonely alright~?" I remarked, reassuring him. Fappymatsu is pretty persistent but I can handle him no question. He stood their silently for a brief moment of time, deciding on whether he should continue to press further or not. In the end, he made the decision not to.
"...I still don't believe you but I'll leave you alone...for now that is. See you later." And with that, he began to leave the room.
"BYE FAPPYSKI!"
"GOD DAMMIT I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!"
Quite a while had gone by since Choromatsu left. During the time between then and now, Mom and Dad had also gone and left for the day, claiming that they wouldn't be back until night time. Apparently, they were going shopping in a nearby city.
I sat in front of television, switching through various channels rather absentmindedly. I had no plans for the day other than my mission of course, so I didn't really have any idea of how to spend my time. Nothing on T.V was really interesting for me, so I got up and started pacing throughout the house. Oddly enough, I didn't really hear any noise coming from upstairs, which was abnormal since supposedly Karamatsu, Ichimatsu, and Jyushimatsu were still home. Due to this realization, I decided to satiate my boredom by sneakily climbing up the stairs and spying on them. I wonder what they were doing.
When I finally reached the top of the stairs, I hid and quietly and peeked inside of the room. Karamatsu was doing the usual, as in he was peering inside some shoddy male fashion magazine. Ichimatsu was playing around with stray cats again, (which I honestly found to be really cute...hell, anything is better than him pretending to be a cat and trying to have sex with them again.) and Jyushimatsu was no where to be found. Perhaps he crashed out of the window again to go play baseball. He seems to be using the door less and less nowadays...
Unfortunately for my need for entertainment, nothing was out of the ordinary. It was a normal, typical, and, sadly for me, monotonous day. Karamatsu seem to not care about my lack of presence at all too, irritatingly enough. I opened the door and went into the bedroom – with them hardly paying me any mind. Looks like I'll just chill here for a bit and go play pachinko as usual.
I went and sat by the bookshelf while I watched Ichimatsu play with the cats with a little toy in his hand. I would have watched Karamatsu instead, seeing as my goal is for him to cry for my attention, but he was way too into that magazine of his for him to really notice me – he just ignored me.
So I watched disinterestedly as Ichimatsu played and cuddled with his friends. Sometimes it really amazes me of how much of a different person he is when he's around cats. He doesn't seem dark and and vicious at all right now – like, when I look at him right about now, there's a feeling inside me that Ichimatsu can actually be a nice and caring person.
When I looked a little closer, Ichimatsu appeared to have multiple toys at his disposal. However, upon closer inspection, I realized those weren't exactly toys…
Those were sunglasses.
"Nyaa, nyaa, nyaaaaaaaaa~" Ichimatsu cooed playfully to his cats, twirling a pair of sunglasses above one of their hands.
"...nya...NYA!" One of them grasped at the dwindling pair of shades from above, and knocked it out of Ichimatsu's fingers. It then proceeded to destroy the accessory piece once it got a hold of it. The sunglasses made an audible crack, and shattered into dozens of pieces onto the floor.
"...good boy...good boy...you're doing a great job...nyaaaaaa~, " Ichimatsu cooed once again, "Here, here, let's play again, meow~." He proceeded to lift up another pair of sunglasses into the air. This pair looked different from the rest. I wondered if it was some sort of luxury brand of glasses.
This time, Karamatsu caught sight of this and detracted his attention from the magazine. He first had a bout of confusion, as seen by the expression plastered on his face, but then it grew into uneasiness and worry.
"Hey Ichimatsu, my dear little brother...would you be so kind as to… uhh...not break those glasses…? All my glasses mean a lot to me….but those in particular….I payed a lot for them…" Karamatsu stammered, his voice raising in pitch. He truly knew what's best for him, since he tried not to get on Ichimatsu's bad side.
Ichimatsu didn't reply though. He ignored him and resumed playing with the cats.
"Uhhh...Ichimatsu? Did you hear me? I'm sorry if I wasn't loud enough...but please do not play with those glasses...I payed a lot for those and I do wish for you not to break them…" Karamatsu continued to quiver a sweat droplets began to pour down his skin. Looks like somebody is getting anxious.
Inside of my head I groaned. He's so nice and timid around the others, but he treats me like a piece of garbage even though I show such unconditional love towards him. How could you treat your onii-chan so terribly Karamatsu!? One who loves you very much~?
Ichimatsu continued to ignore him, but this time, his expression became slightly disfigured. I could feel the darkness coming off of him. He was getting very annoyed at Karamatsu bothering him.
"….uhhh...Ichimatsu…" Karamatsu whined once again. Hasn't he gotten the clue that Ichimatsu is becoming upset? Man, he really is persistent and clueless at times. But mostly, he's a moron.
No reply.
"Ichi...Ichimatsu?"
Uh oh. Here we go again.
Ichimatsu let out a low guttural growl, like that of a feral beast. The look he had on his face screamed that he was absolutely livid. Ichimatsu was in no mood to be bothered at the moment and he was about to explode.
"God do I absolutely hate shittymatsu." Ichimatsu growled under his breath, really enunciating the 'hate' part of his sentence. Regretably for both him and his victim-to-be, Shittymatsu didn't hear him.
"...what was that, my dear brother? Are you going to return to me my glasses now? I really do appreciate the gesture, as I payed quite a bit for those flattering shades of mine. Those aren't just any plain old shades, being that I saved up a lot of my hard earned money just to get my hands on those. Don't you think those would look absolutely stunning on me, Ichimatsu? I think they make me absolutely dashing, riveting as a matter of fact – totally irresistible. Who could escape my mysteriously handsome charm with those shades of mine? That is why, my dear little brother, while I know you wish to play, it is of utmost importance that those glasses of mine are exposed to no harm and safely –"
"shut it."
Looks like the fuse cracked. Guess, my earlier sentiments about the cuddly Ichimatsu all amount to moot right about now.
"Hmm...my dear Ichimatsu? Are you enchanted by my dazzling use of descriptors? Perhaps you became so enamored by my words, you are pushed and tempted to try on the sunglasses yoursel-" Before Painfulmatsu could utter another despicable phrase out of that disgustingly annoying mouth of his, Ichimatsu, enraged, rushed and tackled him onto the ground, grabbing and squeezing him by the throat.
"SHUT. THE. F*CK. UP!"
"Eeek!" Karamatsu pathetically squealed in horror.
"I SAID SHUT THE F*CK UP! SHUT THE F*CK UP! SHUT THE F*CK UP BEFORE I KILL YOU SHITTYMATSU!"
I simply watched on as Karamatsu screamed and cried in terror as Ichimatsu had him by the throat, chocking him and bashing his head repeatedly into the carpet. The cats, picking up on the dark and disturbed aura emanated by Ichimatsu, started to snarl and hiss at Karamatsu as well – like little demon devotees impersonating their disturbed and vile, devilish master. I kind of felt bad, but this is all a part of Karamatsu's punishment. I have to ignore him, so I can't possibly help him out here.
"O-Osomatsu…" Karamatsu whimpered finally taking note of my presence, "Please, please tell Ichimatsu that he shouldn't break my precious sunglasses..." Tears were starting to well up in his eyes, and personally, I thought he looked sickeningly adorable begging for me to help him. I have strong self-restraint though – he isn't going to win that easily. I'm going to disregard his begging and go play pachinko.
And with that, I got up, and started to leave once again.
"Bye Ichimacchan~ I'm heading out...will be back in a bit~." I called out to Ichimatsu before leaving, deliberately leaving Karamatsu's name from my farewell.
Both Ichimatsu and Karamatsu looked rather astonished. (Albeit Karamatsu more so...he actually looked pained, as if he were just betrayed by me.) Ichimatsu reverted to his usual deadpanned disposition for a moment, quietly observing me while still sitting on top of Karamatsu – his hands still clenched around his throat.
"Bye. See you later." he muttered softly, as if he currently wasn't in the act of murdering his brother. Man, Ichimatsu was really something huh? Warm and cuddly in one moment and a psychotic homicidal maniac in the next.
"O-osomatsu…" Karamatsu whimpered in a barely audible gasp, as he silently sobbed and cried. He tried to reach out to me with an extended arm, before Ichimatsu went back to attacking him again.
" DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU TO SHUT THE F*CK UP SHITTYMATSU!? SHUT! UPPPP!"
And so again, time passed once more, and finally it was close to the end of the afternoon. 4:00 to be exact. I had been playing the pachinko machines for quite a while before deciding to head back home. And boy, was I sure happy today – my winnings amounted to over 30,000 yen!
"Oh boy, what am I gonna spend this on? Ero-mags? AVs? A horse racing bet? Ah...so many options." I excitingly murmured to myself, as I enthusiastically toyed with the chunk of bills in my hand. Things truly were in my favor today weren't they?
However, I couldn't monetarily 'purchase' what I wanted the most though, with that being Karamatsu dying for my attention. When he cried for me to help save him from his little unsavory predicament with Ichimatsu, I was truly thrilled. Before you know it, Shittymatsu willl be put under my submission in no time! I have to thank Ichimatsu as well, his bullying antics against him will no doubt lead to Karamatsu pleading for my favor – no coaxing from my end needed!
I wonder what he'll call me...maybe he'll refer to me as 'Osomatsu nii-san' like the others. And while, I'd be satisfied with that, I really want him to refer to me with something cuter – like 'onii-san~' or 'nii-san', or perhaps even 'onii-chan'! How adorable would that be!? I think I'm totally gushing right about now!
I don't want to wait, but I have to be patient. I haven't exactly won yet. But I can taste the end. I can see my efforts amounting to something!
So I continued walking on home, pride in my heart and determination on my mind, parading the same emotions from earlier this morning. My course of action was set in stone – I am going to win! I'll win against you Shittymatsu! Yes! I already see the end in sight! You will regard me as your one and only big brother!
But right at that minute, my bout of glory over assumed victory was cut short as I saw Todomatsu running towards me. His face was flushed, and fearful tears wet his cheeks. His eyes were red and they looked very panicked.
"What's the matter Totty? Why do you looked spooked?" I was pretty concerned, it was undoubtly a very urgent issue. That glorious feeling from a moment ago was replaced with apprehension, with me being ill at ease. Something bad had happened.
"It-it's Karamatsu nii-san!" He bawled.
"What's wrong with Karamatsu!?"
"He-he's about to die! He's dying! "
