Chapter Eighty Four

...

"I'm going for a walk; I'll see you guys outside," Ry said.

Adam looked over his shoulder, a slight frown on his face. "Don't go over 100th Street, okay, man?"

Ry frowned, his head tilting. "I really don't get this rivalry between Maxville and Westville."

"It's not a rivalry, dude. Mugging people's like sport to Westvilleans," Craig said. "I think I'll have the bubblegum," he added. "No, wait, mint choc chip."

Adam groaned and turned his attention to his best friend. "Would you just choose already? We've been here for half an hour, dude."

Craig waved off Adam's complaint. "I'm almost done."

Ry shook his head and left the ice cream store, licking at the cone he'd bought earlier - funfetti and choc chip - as he walked down the street, trying to keep to the shadows in the midday sun. 100th Street was an enigma, with boutique stores and cafés at the lower end, only to be overshadowed by large towering business skyscrapers at the higher end of the street.

Ry looked at the boutique stores as he finished his double-scoop, his reflection still a little odd to see. The T-800 injection was doing wonders, his shoulders broadening and his breasts shrinking by the minute. Okay, slight exaggeration, but Ry swore that his binder wasn't as tight as it had been that morning.

Ignoring the clothes stores, Ry looked at the small alleyway between 100th Street and Westville. Surely Craig and Adam were just being overprotective and exaggerating with their horror stories about Westville?

Curiosity overcame common sense and Ry headed down the alleyway to look at Westville for himself.

...

Will was bored and annoyed. He'd spent the last two hours flying up and down Westville, looking for a villain to defeat. Instead of finding a villain, he'd had to rescue someone's cat from a tree (which resulted in several gouges in his outfit), and stopped two civilians from stealing someone's car. It turned out the car belonged to them and they'd locked their keys inside, but that wasn't the point.

Sounds drifted up on the air, and after being Westville's Hero for almost three months now, Will knew what a fight sounded like. Stopping his lazy loop, Will looked around to determine where the fight was coming from. He had a citizen to save, and if he was lucky, a villain would be there for him to defeat. Maybe they were trying to take the citizen hostage?

Will landed in front of the alleyway, his hands on his hips to Draw The Villain's Attention. No one looked at him, and as Will took in the scene before him, his hands fell to his sides as he stared in shock and awe.

The girl's long black hair flowed like a banner in the wind, her body lithe and moving like a dancer. She kicked one man in the face, and at the same time, punched another in the stomach so they both were out. The third man had a glint of silver in his hands - a knife, Will realised, too late to call out to the girl - and he slashed forward, his bloodied mouth set in a determined line. The girl grinned at the sight, caught the blade and with a complicated move, turned the knife back on her attacker. The man's eyes widened at the sight and he stepped back fearfully. The girl snorted and rolled her eyes as though she was disappointed, then threw the knife to the ground and punched the man so hard he fell to the ground, unconscious.

Will knew he should say or do something, but he couldn't bring himself to move. She'd fought with such grace and beauty that Will felt like a bulky ape in comparison, and worst of all, she hadn't needed his help. If the Mayor of Westville or Maxville knew about this random citizen who could take on three thugs singlehandedly, then they might think that they didn't need Airborne's help after all. He'd never have the chance to defeat a villain then.

Will watched as the girl untied the thugs shoelaces, tying the ends together and then dragging the three men so they were sitting back to back in a sort of Y position, then tied the shoelace rope around their chests to keep them there.

"Is that enough or do you need them handed to you on a silver platter too?" the girl asked, her voice deeper than Will expected.

She turned to face him directly and Will blinked in confusion. She wasn't a she at all; she was a he. Will didn't know why that realisation didn't make him change his mind about the guy's grace and beauty, but he couldn't bring himself to think of the guy as anything other than graceful and beautiful.

Ugh, what was he thinking? He sounded totally gay.

"Well, Airborne?" he prompted, rolling his eyes at Will.

"Oh. Uh. That's fine. Thank you for your assistance, random citizen," Will said, his hands on his hips again.

"Assistance?" he echoed incredulously, then scoffed and rolled his eyes again. "Whatever, man."

Before Will could say or do anything, the long-haired beautiful man turned and ran down the alley towards Maxville. Will sighed and gathered the three thugs up to take to the police.

...

"Dude, you have got some serious explaining to do," Craig said.

Ry sighed. "I went over 100th Street. I was just trying to look at Westville, not actually go in there, and then three guys decided to try to mug me."

"Oh, yeah, we know that. Adam followed you on the street cameras, we saw the whole thing. I'm talking to you, dude," Craig said, poking Adam in the chest. "What the hell were you thinking, getting peanut butter ice cream with mint choc chip?! That was a horrible decision and I'm disappointed in you."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Like you having bubblegum with rum and raisin was any better?"

"Dude, they taste good together."

Ry stared as Craig and Adam continued to argue over their ice cream flavours. They'd seen the whole thing? And that was it? No interrogation, no questions, nothing?

"Wait, that's it?" Ry asked when there was a lull in the argument and he'd finally overcome his own shock.

"What's it, dude?" Adam asked, frowning.

Craig grinned at Ry's confused expression and clapped him on the shoulder. "We've known you were going to Sky High since your dad enrolled you, dude. If you didn't want to talk about your powers after my little show or Layla's display, then we weren't going to force you."

Ry didn't really know what to say to that.

"Now, come on, important things are being discussed here! What's worse: peanut butter and mint or bubblegum and rum and raisin?" Craig asked, grinning.

Ry couldn't help but feel relieved that they weren't going to make him talk about his power, and he grinned back at his friends. "They're both gross, but bubblegum and rum and raisin is totally worse, dude."

Adam laughed at Craig's betrayed expression. "Told you, dude."

...

Connor stepped through his sixth tai chi set for the morning, frustrated and unable to stop thinking about Victor. He'd text him almost five days ago and still hadn't heard a response. Craig had told Ry that Victor was working on a new case, so Connor knew he was still alive, at the very least. But five days without a response was wearing down on him.

Maybe Victor was no longer interested and trying to let him down gently?

His phone chimed with an incoming text and Connor forced himself to finish the last ten steps of the set before going to check his phone. It was from Ry, and Connor tried not to feel too disappointed.

Ry: I'm safe at Craig's. Can you pick me up at 2pm, Papa?

He started typing a response, but before he was halfway through, another message came through.

Ry: Can you come over now?

Ry: Victor looks like hell & refuses to sleep.

Ry: Edith left a note; says he hasn't been eating either.

Connor: I'll be right there.

Grabbing his keys and wallet, Connor locked the front door behind him and ran for the car. He wanted to run there himself, to let out some excess energy and get his emotions under control, but the car was faster.

The drive to Edith's was practically a blur, and he was amazed he hadn't been pulled over or crashed by the time he arrived.

Connor saw Ry's worried expression and hugged his son briefly before going to the lounge room where Victor was sitting, watching Elijah and Elliot in their playpen. Craig was playing with them, though his eyes kept going to Victor every so often. He seemed relieved that Connor had arrived.

"I haven't seen him like this before," Craig admitted, worry making his voice thick. "I just... I don't know what to do," he said, running his hand through his curls.

Victor hardly seemed aware of their conversation, his bloodshot eyes glued to his sons. His face was pale, his hair greasy and unkempt, he was unshaven, and he was still wearing his suit pants and shirt.

"I'll take care of him," Connor promised. "Victor? Victor, darling, look at me," he murmured, cupping his cheek and feeling the rough stubble against his palm.

Victor turned his face to Connor's, a brief smile on his face. "Hey."

"Hey yourself. Did you sleep last night?" Connor asked.

Victor shook his head. "Needed to work."

"Did you sleep the night before?"

Victor blinked, frowning. "A few hours?"

"When was the last time you ate? Come on, darling, think for me," Connor murmured when Victor looked back to the twins.

"We had Chinese."

"Dude, that was Thursday. It's Saturday," Craig said, sounding horrified.

Connor sighed and stroked Victor's cheek. "I'll clean him up and feed him. Can you boys put something together for me? Soft and easy to swallow without too much chewing," he added.

Craig nodded, trusting Connor to look after Victor, and split himself in two so he could still look after the twins. They laughed at seeing two copies of their uncle, Elliot babbling happily and Elijah waving his plush giraffe.

"He's got an ensuite in his bedroom. Second floor, third door on the right," Craig said. "C'mon, Ry. I reckon we've got some strawberries we can cut up."

Ry looked from Victor to his Papa, then hugged Connor firmly. "Victor will be all right, won't he?"

"Victor will be fine, I promise. He's just a little overworked," Connor said, though 'little' was an understatement.

Ry nodded and hurried after Craig. Connor let his hand fall away from Victor's cheek reluctantly, then moved to pick him up in his arms, carrying him upstairs to his bedroom and the large ensuite bathroom.

Filling the bathtub, Connor made quick work of Victor's clothes. He looked over his naked body quickly to ensure he hadn't hurt himself in some way, then kept his eyes fixed on Victor's exhausted face. "Why did you do this to yourself, darling?" Connor murmured.

Victor blinked slowly as though his eyelids were six-tonne weights and each movement was a struggle. "I needed to finish, to prove they were innocent."

"And did you?" Connor asked, his voice soft.

Victor smiled and nodded.

"That's good, darling. When's their court case?"

"The 8th," Victor quoted.

"June?" Connor asked, turning off the taps when the bath was full, testing the water, and guiding Victor into the water.

He moaned softly as the water enveloped him, his eyes closing. "July."

Connor bit back an angry response, forcing himself to breathe. "Victor, darling, that's practically a month away."

"I know. The more work I do now, the more time I get with the kids later," Victor admitted.

Connor sighed and wet a washcloth, washing several days of sweat and grime from Victor's body. He cleaned him carefully but quickly, not wanting to delay Victor's food or sleep. He'd linger another day, when they were both coherent and emotionally ready. Connor certainly wasn't, far too worried about Victor's wellbeing.

When Victor was clean and his hair was washed - Connor had thought of Ry as a child, him tipping a jug of water over his child's hair to wash the shampoo out carefully - Connor emptied the tub and dried Victor off, again quick and careful.

"Come on, darling. You need to eat," Connor murmured, wrapping a bathrobe around Victor's body and leading him to the bedroom.

As he was settling Victor on the bed, Craig and Ry knocked on the door with a plate of cut fruit and some crackers, and a glass of water.

"Is he okay?" Craig asked as he handed over the plate and glass.

"He's okay. He'll be better with food. Thanks, son," Connor said, hugging Craig and then Ry. "I'll get him fed and settled, and I'll be down soon, okay?"

Craig sniffled and nodded, but let Ry lead him downstairs to watch over the twins.

Connor coaxed Victor to eat and drink slowly, making sure he ate every morsel and drank every drop. Victor managed to swallow the last piece of strawberry, falling asleep a heartbeat later. Connor sighed and stroked Victor's hair gently, then settled a blanket over him and went downstairs to reassure both Craig and Ry that Victor would be fine.

...

"Maj? You okay?" Will asked.

Magenta nodded briefly, though she felt like complete and utter crap. Whoever decided that periods were necessary needed to be kicked in the kidney. Several times, in fact, because periods in summer were worse than anything else in life.

"I was thinking we could have sex," Will said.

"I've got my period, Will," Magenta said, watching as his face twisted in disgust. "You could've used the front door, y'know," she added, grumpy that he'd made her get out of bed where her cramp-easing hot water bottle was, just because he was at the window instead of the door.

"I just, y'know, really wanted to see you," Will said.

"You mean you really wanted sex," Magenta said, the words sounding bitchy to her even as they left her mouth. "I'm sorry, Will. I didn't really mean that. Do you want to come in? We can watch a movie," she offered.

Will shook his head. "I'd better go patrol Westville. Those villains can't defeat themselves," he added.

"You've fought a villain?" Magenta asked, her eyes wide.

"Well, no. But I will," he said. "I'd better go. Bye," Will said quickly, flying off before she could ask any more questions.

Magenta closed her window and wondered why Will had even bothered to try to have sex with her if he was meant to be patrolling Westville.

Though she doubted that the world would've ended in the three minutes he needed, Magenta thought to herself with a roll of her eyes.

Another cramp twisted her stomach and Magenta groaned in pain, heading back to her bed and hot water bottle.

...

"Hey, can you show me that move you did against those guys?" Craig asked Ry once the twins were asleep.

"Which one?"

"I dunno, all of them?"

"What moves and what guys?" Connor asked.

Ry winced. "I almost got mugged by three civilians in Westville."

"Are you all right?" Connor asked, looking his son over for any bruises or scrapes.

"I'm fine, Papa. And so are the civilians," Ry added. "Airborne stood there staring like an idiot for most of the fight; I'm presuming he dealt with the civilians after I left," he added, shrugging.

Craig snorted. "Dude, he totally wasn't watching the fight."

"What?"

"Adam and I recognised the expression on his face. It was the same one he had around Gwen Grayson, y'know, before the whole Royal Pain thing. He was totally gaga over you," Craig said, waggling his eyebrows.

"Ewww! Wait, so you know who Airborne is?"

Craig rolled his eyes. "Trust me, Ry; on your first day at Sky High, you'll find out who Airborne is for yourself. The idiot can't keep his mouth shut about it."

Connor was surprised at all of these revelations, but he couldn't help himself from looking at Ry a bit more closely, trying to ensure that his son really was all right. His phone rang, loud in the quiet, and he hurried to answer it before the noise woke the twins or Victor. "Hello?"

"Hi Connor, it's Honey. Can you take Ry and Craig out to the Hive, please?"

"What? I'm..."

"Looking after Victor, I know, and I know you don't want to leave him alone, but it's a half hour trip at most. Trust me, Victor won't even know you're gone. I'll pick the boys up in the morning and bring them back, but Victor just needs some time to get over the last few days of malnourishment and dehydration.

"As Edith's out of town, my mother will be there in a few minutes to take the twins off your hands. They'll be perfectly safe and spoiled in her care," Honey added, sounding as though she was smiling.

Connor inhaled and exhaled slowly, remembering Jewel's words: just go with it. It seemed to be his new mantra when dealing with Honey. "You're sure Victor will be all right?"

"Positive. Write a note if that will make you feel better, but I swear, he's not even going to roll over in that time."

A knock at the door had Craig and Ry looking to Connor with a frown.

"It's Frieda. She's come to take the twins for the night; Honey wants me to take you both to the Hive," Connor said.

"Okay. C'mon, Ry. I'll pack the twins' bag and toys if you'll let Frieda in," Craig said.

Ry nodded, handing him the elephant by his foot before heading to the front door.

"Anything else?" Connor asked Honey, hoping he sounded amused rather than annoyed.

"Victor's allergic to watermelon. Oh, and don't forget to eat and drink something yourself; I don't want to have to send Ida for both of you."

Remembering that Ida was a doctor, Connor shook his head. "I'll do that when I get back, okay?"

"Okay. Leave by 2:15pm or you'll have to deal with traffic," Honey said, then hung up.

Connor looked at the time on his phone: 2:10pm. "Honey's good with advanced warning, isn't she?"

Craig snickered. "You'll get used to it: go with the flow, but be prepared for anything," he said, grinning. He shouldered the twins' bag and carrying it out to Frieda's car, kissing his nephews' cheeks and then Frieda's.

Frieda hugged him firmly, then looked to Connor. "Thank you for looking after Victor, dear. He doesn't usually do this."

Connor nodded. "It's the least I can do."

Frieda smiled and then said her farewells, intent on getting back to her house before the twins woke up.

"Ready, Papa?" Ry asked.

Connor wrote a quick note on the notepad by the front door, then grabbed his keys and wallet. "Ready. Do you two need clothes or pyjamas, or something?" he asked before he closed the door.

"Oh, good point. You'll need my keys to get back in, too," Craig said, looking around before flying up to his bedroom window and climbing inside. He was out in under than a minute, a bag on his shoulders and keys in his hands. "You okay with shorts, Ry, or do you want pants?"

"Dude, it's too hot for pants."

Craig nodded in agreement, then waved goodbye to Frieda and the twins, and sat in the backseat of Connor's car. "Here's my keys. The blue one's for the front door."

"And the others?" Connor asked, checking the time and glancing to the back seat to ensure both Ry and Craig were belted in before driving off at 2:13pm.

"Decoration and confusion for anyone who tries to steal my keys."

Ry laughed. "Do you really need six keys for that?"

"Yep!"

Using Maxville's side streets to avoid the metropolis itself - the repairs from Jetstream and the Commander's fight from the day before were still being completed - Connor eventually arrived at the Hive, parking in the lot and looking to the two teens in his back seat.

"I'd like a word with Ry. He'll be there in a sec," Connor added.

While he was restless to return to Victor, Ry was his son and his wellbeing came before everything else in Connor's eyes. Even someone as special to Connor as Victor wouldn't change that.

"Sure thing. Thanks for the lift, Mr. K," Craig said, getting out of the car with his bag. "See you inside, Ry."

Ry nodded, his cheeks red as he was certain he was going to get into trouble for fighting. Craig shut the door and headed to the Hive, lingering on the pathway.

"Hey, you're not in trouble, okay? Breathe, Ryuu," Connor murmured, turning in his seat to face his son. "You said you didn't want anyone to know about your powers, so I'm just surprised, that all."

Ry inhaled and exhaled, then nodded. "Yeah, I know. They saw the fight, but didn't ask about my powers, so they don't know what I can do."

"Okay. I feel a 'but' coming on there," Connor said with a gentle smile.

"But I would've told them if they'd asked. I trust them. They're my friends," Ry said.

Connor was stunned at his son's words. Even after living in Mississippi for the last five years, Ry hadn't had anyone he'd really call his friend, and he certainly hadn't trusted anyone enough to show or tell them about his power. "You trust all of them? Or just Craig and Adam?" he asked, knowing that the three had spent the most time together.

Ry thought about it for a long moment. "I trust all of them. I'm not as close to the others as Craig and Adam, but we've still got the rest of summer," he said with a shy smile.

"Are you attracted to any of them?" Connor asked. "I'm not going to say anything to them if you are, I'm just curious," he added quickly.

Ry shook his head. "Nah, I don't think so. I think I'm gonna spend some time loving the me I've been waiting for since I was a kid, then I might find someone who deserves me," he said, grinning when Connor laughed.

"Good on you, son. You let me know if you change your mind, okay? I'll want to meet them and see just who you deem to be worthy of your wonderful self," Connor said with a broad and warm smile. "Okay, out of the car now."

"Huh? Why?"

"Because I'm feeling emotional and want to hug my son. Good?"

"Good," Ry said, his smile turning to a wide grin as he got out of the car.

Connor practically felt crushed by Ry's embrace, but couldn't stop from smiling at the firm hug, hugging his son back tightly. "You're a good kid, Ry, and I trust your judgement and sense of character. If you trust them, then I trust them too."

Ry pulled back and smiled at his father. "Thanks, Papa. Love you."

"Love you too, Ryuu. Have a fun night, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

"You have fun too, yeah? Don't spend the whole night worrying about Victor; he'll be okay," Ry said, his voice firm and certain.

"I'll try," Connor said, unable to promise a thing when it came to Victor.

Ry kissed his cheek, hugged him briefly one more time, and headed down the path to the Hive.

Connor ran a hand through his hair, slid into the driver's seat, and headed back to Edith's home.

...

"Are you two okay?" Craig asked, seeing how pale both Layla and Warren had turned when he and Ry walked in. "I told you we were coming; we didn't interrupt anything sexy, did we?"

The vines under their skin were sharp at Ry's presence, and both Warren and Layla knew that he was ready to be permanent. How and why it had changed in such a short amount of time, they didn't know, but it had.

Warren composed himself and rolled his eyes at Craig as he set his book aside. "Yes, Craig. I've been reading for the last hour and Layla's been organising the money for next week's opening; we're getting our own porn channel."

Craig laughed. "Aw, man, I wish. You could totally make reading look hot."

"And counting money isn't?" Layla asked with a teasing lilt, fanning herself with a wad of cash.

"There are things involving cash and sex that are definitely sexy. Counting isn't one of 'em, though you'd be the first one to change my mind," Craig said, winking.

She laughed and made her way over to hug him. "I love you, too. Is everything all right with Victor? Your message worried me."

"Connor's looking after him, so I trust he's in capable hands," Craig said, hugging Layla back. "Big, strong, capable hands," he added with a snicker.

"Dude, that's my Papa you're talking about," Ry said, wrinkling his nose.

"Hey, I have eyes and your Papa could totally be a daddy," Craig said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ewww."

"Your daddy issues can be left at the door along with mine, Craig," Warren deadpanned.

Craig laughed and moved to hug Warren. "Fine by me. Speaking of, how much has Mr. Phillips managed to mine away from daddy dearest's accounts?"

Warren lifted Craig until his long legs and arms were wrapped around his body comfortably. "It's taking a little longer than expected, since it needs to go through Honey's front companies, but we've got about four million so far."

"We're aiming for twelve so we get one each. Honey's suggested a few ideas for the remaining money in the future, so Mr. Phillips is working on increasing the interest on them."

Craig hadn't really expected them to be quite so forthcoming or honest in their answers with Ry standing right there. He pulled back to look between Warren and Layla. "So does this mean I can show him?"

"Did you just say twelve million dollars?" Ry asked, his jaw dropping.

"Yes, we did. And yes, Craig, you can," Warren said.

"Now, please climb down from my boyfriend. It's my turn," Layla said, grinning.

Craig laughed in delight, pressed a smacking kiss to Warren's cheek, and dropped down to his feet. "C'mon, Ry. You're going to fucking love this."

Layla and Warren watched as Craig opened the trap door in the library with a flourish, Ry's eyes widening at the sight. He looked a little pale and shocked, but there was excitement in his expression too, and he didn't hesitate to follow Craig down into the lower Hive.

Warren grinned at Layla. "How many permanents do you think we'll end up with?"

"As many as it takes," she replied.

Warren leaned down to kiss her hard. "Now, you said something about climbing me?" he asked, his voice thick with lust.

Layla jumped up, his hands sliding under her thighs as she kissed him hard enough to bruise, her hair flowing over her shoulders. Warren grinned against her lips and let them fall backwards into a fern he grew. Layla laughed at the sudden fall, her eyes bright and beautifully green, and Warren felt himself falling in love with her all over again.

...

Victor woke up, his eyes opening slowly as he struggled to hold onto the dream he'd had. He'd been floating in a pool and Connor had been with him, his strong hands gentle as he washed Victor's naked body. He'd dried him off and dressed him in a warm robe, then led him to the bed where he'd murmured sweet nothings and sweeter somethings as he'd fed Victor. His fingers and thumb had brushed against Victor's lips with each bite, a sweet explosion of flavour on his tongue. Victor had wanted to taste Connor as well, certain he'd be even sweeter still, but he'd been too exhausted, too warm, too filled with love to move. Connor had made him drink too, a cool elixir that tasted like the freshest and cleanest water he'd ever drunk before. From there, it got a bit hazy, but dreams were like that, unfortunately.

Victor sighed and sat up, looking to his bedside table where his clock was showing the time as almost 5am. Summer's early dawn meant that some light was already coming through the gap in the curtains, and Victor saw Connor splayed out on the chaise beside the bed. He frowned and blinked at the sight, his brain trying to figure out whether it was real or if he was still dreaming. It was then that Victor realised he wasn't wearing pyjamas, but instead, he was dressed in a fluffy bathrobe.

His 'dream' came back to him in full force and Victor's mouth dropped open. It hadn't been a dream at all. Connor had really bathed and fed him and put him to bed.

Holy shit.

Victor thought of the sweet nothings and sweeter somethings Connor had murmured to him. Connor had told him he was a silly idiot for getting to this stage; Connor had promised to look after him; Connor had told him that he needed to take better care of himself so he could be there for his children. Connor had murmured something even softer at the end, so soft that Victor doubted he was meant to hear it: that he'd be distraught if Victor hurt himself like this again, if he wasted away to nothing, especially without a kiss between them.

Looking over to Connor, who was wearing one of Victor's largest shirts - yet it still managed to be tight around his torso and broad shoulders - Victor wondered how Connor was going to think of him now. Would he still be interested, or would he be disgusted, constantly reminded of a man who apparently couldn't even eat or bathe without help?

Connor's eyes opened and he looked straight at Victor, an intensity in his eyes that Victor wasn't sure if he wanted to run away from or run towards.

"Are you all right, darling?" Connor asked, his voice rough from sleep as he sat up, the blanket falling to expose a bare hip.

Victor felt his mouth go dry at the sight. It wasn't even an expansive amount of skin, barely more than five centimetres, but Victor wanted to touch it, to feel if Connor would be hard or soft, or if he'd melt under his touch, as Victor had done when Connor had bathed him.

"Darling?" Connor murmured, then glanced down and rearranged the blanket. "Sorry. It's too hot to wear an excessive amount of clothing."

Victor wondered if that meant he hadn't had any underwear on in the first place. He shook his head and finally found his voice. "I'm the one that needs to be sorry, not you. I'm... you shouldn't have seen me like that. I swear, it doesn't happen often, and I'm sorry you had to look after me like I was a child, but I just - "

"You don't need to explain, darling. You scared and worried me, but you don't have to be sorry for me seeing you like that or for caring for you. I'd be honoured to see you in any way, shape, or form you're prepared to show me. And caring for you is something I'd love to do forever, if you'd let me," Connor said, his words even more intense in the early morning and low light. "But, darling, if I can help it, I never want to see you hurt yourself like that. It was unnecessary and terrifying. I've never seen Craig so pale before."

Victor winced, flinching back from his words as though they were a physical slap across the face.

Connor sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, through his short hair. "I'm sorry, darling. I don't want to make you feel bad, I'm just trying to tell you the truth. You said you wanted to work hard now so you'd have time with your children later, but you can't have time with them when you're like this. You were too weak to stand on your own," he added. He held the blanket tight around his waist and moved to sit beside Victor, cupping his cheek. "You can't do that to yourself again, Victor. Please, for your sons' sakes, promise that you'll look after yourself. If you can't, then I'll do it for you," Connor said, his voice firm and tender.

Victor couldn't stop staring at Connor's mouth. He lost his voice again, unable to make a promise he wasn't sure he'd be able to keep. Instead, he leaned forward to press a kiss to that soft mouth, wondering if it was to seal something between them or to thank Connor for all he'd done, or perhaps both. Victor could practically feel Connor's groan reverberating in his own chest, Connor's hands cupping his face gently as he kissed him back eagerly.

Connor pulled away far too soon for either of their liking, his chest heaving, and something primal in his chest at the sight of Victor's swollen lips and the way he swayed forward to him, as though he needed more, everything.

God, he so wanted to give Victor everything he had ever wanted or needed.

"Darling, I would love nothing more than to kiss you for hours, but we can't. I don't know if you're trying to distract me from the promise - trust me, it's working - but even if you're not, I don't feel that either of us are ready for this. I can be... intense, for lack of a better word, and I'd hate myself for the rest of my life if I hurt you by doing, being, too much too soon. You need to get over your ex-wife in a healthier way than this, darling, and I still have things I need to deal with myself," Connor admitted.

Victor licked his lips and the warm taste of Connor. He knew that rejection stung worse than this, so it wasn't an actual rejection. He also knew that Connor was right, but he wasn't letting him down in a way that made Victor want to bury himself under his blankets and hide from the world and pain for days on end. This rejection hurt like a future promise. The promise was one that would always be there, but for the longest time, it would be out of their reach and that was the part that hurt. Victor wondered if this was how people in an oubliette felt like: staring out at the rest of the world alive and living, while they were trapped with only their own company and thoughts.

"If you don't have a therapist already, I could recommend mine to you. Doc is great and takes phone appointments," Connor added.

"You have a therapist?" Victor asked, surprised at both the admission and his need.

Connor nodded. He thought of Ry and his trust in these people, and his own trust and gratitude for these people in being friends and making his son laugh again. "Shrink appointments are mandatory after being tortured. It was about five years ago now, but I kept going to the appointments after they stopped being mandatory; that sort of thing doesn't really leave you," he said, stroking one of his tattoos that hid the more prominent scarring.

Victor's eyes widened. "Holy shit. Are you... okay?" he asked weakly, unsure what to do or say, only know that he felt horrified that this amazing man had been something through so awful. Despite what he'd been through, Connor was still so gentle and loving.

"I'm better than I was, and I owe that to Doc."

Victor couldn't stop himself from hugging Connor then, trying to provide some form of comfort without the words. Connor hugged him back, his embrace warm and trembling. They stayed that way for a long time, providing and drawing comfort from each other.

"Can I get Doc's number from you later?" Victor asked when they finally pulled away.

"You'll talk to her?"

Victor nodded. "If Doc's taking on new patients and we get on, I'll make weekly appointments if I have to. I," he paused, trying to think of how to explain what he was feeling properly. "I want to be with you, Connor, and I'm willing to do what it takes so we're both comfortable and ready."

Connor smiled and took Victor's hand, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. "You know exactly what to say to make a man go soft on the inside, darling. And hard elsewhere," he added with a lustful purr and a wink.

Victor couldn't help himself and immediately looked down, his eyes widening. "Holy shit."

"I'd better take care of it or I'm going to be a total bear later," Connor murmured. "Can I use your shower or do you want me to use the guest bathroom?" he asked, kissing Victor's cheek.

Victor swallowed. Knowing that Connor would only be a few metres away would be torture, but having him elsewhere in the house would be even worse. "Mine."

"Oh, it's all yours, darling," Connor said in that purring tone again. He headed to the bathroom, dropping the blanket on the chaise on his way, and Victor stared at his ass unabashedly.

He couldn't wait for the day when he'd get to have all of Connor. Victor wondered what it would feel like to give all of himself to Connor in return.

...

End of the eighty-fourth chapter.