The awkward moment just hangs there. Abby stands waiting for someone to speak first. Fitz and Liv look at each other as if needing a cue. Abby just stares at them.
"Should I come back or …."
Fitz stops her, "Please close the door and come in Abby. Obviously we all need to talk."
Abby closes the door. She slowly walks over to the table. Her eyes never leave Olivia's. She decides to ask the hanging question. "When did this start? Is this why you suddenly want to quit?"
Liv looks at Fitz. The words are spoken with their eyes. "This started 7 years ago and this is why I want to quit."
Abby stands there in shock. She thinks she couldn't have heard them right, "7 Years ago."
"This is going to be hard to explain," Liv starts.
"You are the bastard that broke her heart and took her virginity," Abby says to Fitz. It's all coming together in Abby's head. She then turns to Liv, "And you are the woman that he never fell out of love with…Oliveria…Olivia," she finishes. Fitz just drops his head. "Well, I'll be damned! I don't believe this," Abby says.
"I'm sorry Abby. I am," Liv says.
"And I am sorry too," Fitz added.
Abby shakes her head, "I can't believe I never put two and two together. And I guess I made this all happen."
"Abby," Liv sings.
Fitz looks at Liv and then back at Abby. "This is my fault. I pushed this."
Now Liv is feeling bad for him, she speaks up "It's not just your fault. We were both kissing."
Abby just looks on. Everything is running through her mind. As if reading Abby's mind, she says, "We need to talk but first I need to finish talking to Fitz.
"I'll be in my office," Abby says, quickly turning and walking out. She gives Fitz a look before leaving as if telling him they need to talk too.
Liv turns to Fitz, "This is exactly what I didn't plus, it was wrong. We shouldn't have."
Fitz starts toward her as she steps back, "I am not going to regret having you in my arms again after all this time."
"But we aren't two free people any more, Fitz. I'm not going to ruin my marriage or let you ruin yours," Liv spits back.
Fitz lets out a frustrated laugh, putting his hands in his pocket as he leans back on his desk, "I believe we would be together today if people hadn't gotten in the way of our relationship and I am going to find out what happened. Someone played fucking games with our lives and I want the truth. I lost you…..we lost each other."
Liv drops her head. She wants nothing more than to go to him. She knows she would just be inviting more wrongdoing into their space, "Maybe that's the way it was supposed to be."
"I don't believe that and neither do you," Fitz says as moves again toward her. She tries to move further back but he locks step in front of her. "Don't you want to know what happened to us?"
Liv drops her head. She can't look at him, "Don't do this."
"Answer me," he says softly, lifting her face to him.
"I told you before it doesn't matter now. Maybe they did us a favor. Maybe they saved us from heartache down the road." She thinks if she says this long enough she will believe.
"It didn't save us from the heartache now," Fitz answers.
Liv moves away from him again, "I have to go. I owe Abby an explanation and an apology."
"And what about us…"
"There is no us."
"So, this is it. And you are okay with this? You are going to walk out of the door and close it as if nothing is happening," Fitz says pointedly. "You and I both know our fathers did something to keep us apart and you don't want to know what that is. You just want to walk away."
Liv holds on to the knob on the door for dear life. It would be so easy to go back to what they once had, forgetting the present but she knows they can't do that. They both made decisions that changed the course of their lives and they have to live with the consequences. At least that is what Liv will keep telling herself. She takes a breath and turns, "You walked away from me all those years ago because you thought that's what you had to do," Liv starts.
Her words pierces him deep. He rushes over to her, "Because I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't know what I know now."
"We have people in our lives that we shouldn't hurt now," Liv finishes and she tries to walk out. Fitz grabs her arm forcefully. She wenches.
"I'm sorry," he says quickly. "I can't let you go a second time when I just got you back. We were tricked and we deserve to know how. I sure as hell want to know how I fucked up my life in one night."
"You do what you think you should," she says as he stares at her. He's shocked by her resolve. "Goodbye Fitz," she says as she goes out of the door. She stops again, whispering, "Please don't come after me."
Fitz bites his lip. He wants to hold her and never let go, "I will do what I have to do Livvie. I will find out the truth."
Liv doesn't respond, she just walks away.
Liv knocks on Abby's door. She has been wanting to have this conversation so many times but she couldn't. She didn't know how to explain it to Abby, let alone herself.
"Come in," Abby says.
Liv opens the door and walks in. The air is thick. Liv waits for a thrashing from Abby. Instead, there is silence. "Abby, I'm sorry."
Abby shakes her head, "I am sorry I didn't pick up on it. I mean all the clues were there and I never put it together. But honestly I didn't think…," Abby stops herself. "Nevermind..."
"No," Liv starts, motioning if it is okay for her to take a seat. Abby nods back. "It's time for truth and honesty. We've been outed. We might as well lay the cards out."
"I just reunited my married best friend with the love of her life, that's not her husband. It's already a screwed up situation," Abby adds.
"He's not the love of my life…" Liv defends.
"Who are we kidding right now?" Abby comments. "You loved him, Liv. I never knew his name but I knew that. The way your eyes would glisten, even through the pain when you talked about him. You found a fault with every guy after because he wasn't him. You loved him and you still do. I know what I saw in both your eyes there."
"You saw two people who got caught up in the past," Liv answers.
Abby gets up from his desk, "I saw two people who would have fucked each other's brains out had they not been interrupted."
"Abby…" Liv says.
"I am not trying to be crass. I am trying to be honest."
Liv knows that Abby is right, she turns away. She's too embarrassed by what she's going to say. "I can't live in the past Abby. It doesn't matter what it was. What matters is what is! We are both married."
"Not happily!" Abby retorts.
Liv shoots her a look. "I love Russell. I wouldn't have married him if I didn't."
"You wouldn't have married him if whatever happened with you and Fitz didn't go south."
"But it did and I am sorry I got you in this awkward situation. I should have told you the moment Fitz and I saw each other again. I just couldn't believe it for one. But, after all you did for me. I owed you the truth."
Abby looks at her, "I am surprised he just let you go. He's a determined man about everything. I can see it in his eyes. Just ask the people he's out-bidded in business. He's like a dog with a bone, especially if he wants it. What did he say?"
"He thinks our fathers had something to do with what happened to us. We know they did. We just don't know what they did. He wants to know."
"And you don't," Abby asks, very surprised by Liv's contriteness.
"What does it matter Abby? What's done is done! I can't tell my husband, I have to leave you because of something that happened years ago with the guy I gave my virginity to."
"Listen, I wanted to kill the guy that broke your heart. It hurts you deeply. And you hate to watch your friends in pain. But working for Fitz and knowing him how I've come to know him. He would have never hurt you on purpose. He's not that kind of guy. Something had to have happened, Liv. You and I both know that." Liv doesn't want to have this conversation anymore. She walks toward the door. "Liv, you can't ignore this."
"I have to go Abby," Liv says softly.
"Why are you afraid to know the truth?"
Liv goes toward the door. She turns to look at Abby, "I'm afraid to know the truth because it will make everything a lie."
"Maybe one thing was true and that's what you are afraid of," Abby says.
Liv stops. She wants to answer but she doesn't and she walks out of the door.
Fitz is taking a walk along the national monuments. He and Liv used to do that just for fun. It was a time for them to have some time alone, holding hands and just being together. He never thought they would get a second chance but here they are. He sits by the Lincoln Memorial and watches life happen before him, looking out at the water. He can hear Liv's laughter in the distance as he thinks back to a special night under the stars on those steps.
Liv is sitting in between his legs as he keeps kissing the side of her temple. She lightly moans in approval. "I would have loved history more if it was taught by you in high school," Fitz says.
"Then I would be your teacher and we couldn't be in a relationship," Liv lightly laughs.
"It wouldn't be the first time that's happened," Fitz defends.
Liv looks at him incredulously, "That's gross," she chuckles.
"No seriously, you ever thought about being a teacher. You are so good at explaining things and breaking it down. The kids would love you."
Liv smiles, "So me tutoring you….you fell for me. Living out some old teacher crush."
"None of my teachers were half as cute as you. And they certainly didn't have the body," Fitz winks.
Liv playfully punches his shoulder, "I grew up with a teacher, who's now a Professor," Liv says.
Fitz is intertwining their fingers together, "Your dad!"
"Yes and I can't tell you how many times I got the lecture that hard work and studying always pays off," Liv turns to him. "And then I would get the speech that I couldn't just be good. I had to be twice as good," Liv finishes.
Fitz lightly kisses her lips, "You are a brilliant, beautiful, woman that makes me want to learn things I am not even interested in."
"Are you not interested in the history of slaves and their freedom?" Liv says a little confused.
He touches the tip of her nose, "I am always interested in the history of people, their earned and deserved freedoms and even those that exploit it."
"Perfect answer," Liv smiles
"We come from two very different worlds but underneath skin colors we all have the same thing in common," Fitz starts.
Liv taps his chest, "Heart…and most of all humanity. We are all human."
"I'm in love with you, you know that," Fitz says.
Liv plays coy, "Are you? I don't think so."
"You want me to show right here in front of Honest Abe," Fitz says as he pulls her coat lapels.
Liv lets out a loud giggle, "Fitz stop it."
"I am serious. I know you have a hard time believing me young lady but I've fallen completely in love with you and you better love me."
"I do," Liv smiles. Her eyes get teary.
"Why are you crying? Don't cry Sweet Baby," Fitz says.
"My parents think I am too young to know what love is. Let alone be in love," Liv starts as she never looks up at him.
Fitz lifts her chin up, "What do you think?"
"I think I know what love is and I am sure I am in love with you too. I promised I would never lose my virginity to someone I didn't love and …"
"You can't have it back," Fitz winks.
Liv gets serious for a moment. She stares at him, "I don't think I could survive it if you ever hurt me Fitz."
Fitz can see the sadness in her eyes and the plea, "Do you believe I could survive if I ever hurt you?" She doesn't answer, although she knows in her heart he never would. She drops her head in embarrassment. "Look at me. Do you believe I would hurt you? That I would willingly hurt you." He repeats.
"No, I don't think you would," she answers barely above a whisper.
"But…," Fitz finishes
She turns her face away from him. He doesn't want to push her. He wants to know what she is feeling. "But, you could have had any girl. A girl older than me. A woman more experienced than me. And you chose me," Liv continues.
"And if I had to choose again, I would choose you," Fitz smiles.
"Why?"
"My answer is not going to change. I fell for you because of you. To be honest, you are nothing like the other women I've been with. And I think the fact that you didn't like me for my name. You got my ass in gear to study and you weren't afraid to tell me no about anything that made me want you more. I'm glad you are such badass woman."
"You've never been turned down," she smiles wide. She checks him up and down, "I can see understand that. You are disgustingly sexy and…," she stops, reaching down between his legs, grabbing his wood, "You can't have this back either. It's mine now."
Fitz moans a little bit as she nuzzles her lips with his, "We are in public Ms. Pope. I don't think Honest Abe wants to watch this kind of show."
"And I don't want an audience either," she winks.
"Well, why don't we get the hell out of here and back to my apartment?" He suggests.
"Lead the way," she says as they get up and start making their way back to his apartment.
Fitz is smiling as he comes out of the memory. It's one of those nights he will never forget. Liv showed him just how much she loved and trusted him that night. A night he knows he will never forget and he knows she will never forget it, no matter how hard she fights the past. He was startled out of his memory by a familiar voice. He looks up to see Eli Pope standing there.
Both men stand, looking at each other with shock and uncertainty. "Mr. Pope," Fitz says.
"Mr. Grant," Eli answers.
"It's been 7 years," Fitz says.
Eli puts his hands in his pocket, "Yes! I sometimes take a walk around here to clear my head. Lincoln was a complicated man and usually everything I'm trying to figure out is complicated."
"Life is complicated," Fitz says as he gets up to leave. He doesn't want to talk to him. He doesn't want to confront him yet with no proof. "Well, it was good to see you. I gotta get going."
Eli wants to let him walk away but he can't, "I've always wanted what was best for my daughter. I know she doesn't believe that and you probably don't either."
Fitz takes a breath and turns around, "I know that but I was never going to hurt her. I loved her….I love her."
"I know you did," Eli admits.
Fitz gets closer to him, "Then why? I know why my father never wanted us together. But you, I don't understand. You and my father ruined our lives for no reason. Bigotry is the only thing that makes sense to me. And before you deny it, I know you and my father did something. I saw you two together a few days ago. I'm going to get down to the bottom of this."
"You both have families now…"
"We are both living a life that may have not been our lives to live if it weren't for you and my dad and I suspect my precious wife. You loved Livvie enough to break her heart and you knew me hurting her the way I did, would make her hate me forever."
"She doesn't hate you and…"
"But she may never trust me, even if.." Fitz stops himself. He looks at Eli, drops his head. He looks back up at him, "I hope it was all worth it," Fitz finishes as he starts to walk away.
Eli speaks up, "For the record, it's me she will never trust again."
Fitz turns around with one answer, "The truth is often complicated," he answers as he walks away, leaving Eli alone in his thoughts.
Liv is sitting at the Hamilton restaurant at the bar. She didn't want to go home just yet. She can still feel Fitz's lips on hers. She asks for a glass of red wine.
"Would you like to order any food Mrs. Emory?" The bartender asks.
At first Liv is confused that he knows her name and then she remembers, "Umm, not right now."
"I'm sorry! I recognized who you were. Mr. Emory is looking good out there. They are going all the way this season," he finishes.
"I think they are too. The team is good," she adds.
"We needed your husband," he adds.
Liv smiles. She has to admit, the town has been very accepting of their new player and his wife, "He worked extra hard after that injury."
"It shows," he says as he pushes the glass of wine to her.
Liv smiles, "I guess I should put something on this," she says as she taps the glass with her fingernail. "How about something light? The Herb Grilled Chicken Salad and the Truffle Rosemary Fries," she adds. She begins to chuckle. The bartender looks confused. "I said light. The fries kind of defeat that purpose."
"The fries are my favorite," he smiles. "Coming right up!"
Liv rests her head on her crossed hands and rests her elbows on the bar top. She takes a breath when she hears a familiar voice, "You still love french fries with that killer body."
Liv whips her head around to see Andrew sitting there. "Oh my God!" she says. "I can't believe it."
"Fitz said you were more beautiful than ever," Andrew says as he gives her a kiss on the cheek.
Liv can't help but blush but she stays silent. "It's good to see you," Liv says, giving him a hug.
"It's good to see you too," Andrew smiles.
"You and Fitz stayed friends. That's good. You were a good friend," Liv says.
"He was always a good friend to me. He's a good guy," Andrew says.
"You are a good guy too, you know," Liv smiles.
"Tell my wife that when she's screaming at me about the toilet seat," Andrew jokes.
Liv chuckles, "You men…you can never get that right," she nudges. "A wife..who's the lucky lady?"
"Georgia," he answers proudly. "I met her in grad school. Fucked up a lot along the way and then got my ass in gear and married her before she got tired of the games," Andrew says. He pulls out his phone, showing her a photo of Georgia.
Liv smiles at the picture, "She's beautiful."
"Yes she is. I was so anti-marriage when she came along. I was anti relationships after what went down with you and Fitz. If you two couldn't make it work, then there was no hope for the rest of us," he says without thinking. He can see Liv's eyes shift. "I'm sorry."
"No problem," Liv says. "We were young," she answers.
"You were in love," he answers. "He punished himself for a long time. He drank for a while. He didn't care about anything but wanting you back." He can see a shift in Liv's eyes again. "Yeah, all he cared about was drinking and making reckless choices."
"Reckless choices," Liv repeats.
"He was on a crash course," Andrew answers, offering no other explanation.
The bartender returns with her food, "Here you are Mrs. Emory," he starts putting the plates down. He looks over at Andrew, "Can I get you something sir?"
"A beer! The Hamilton Burger with Truffle Fries," he answers.
"I will get that going for you sir," the bartender says as he leaves.
Liv is reveling in her fries, when she looks up. She knows Fitz is going to tell him, "I quit today."
"You quit what today?" Andrew asks.
"Fitz's company," she answers.
He turns to her, "You did! Why?"
She shakes her head, "You know that was a collision course too."
"But he tells me you are good. Your work is good."
"Maybe so," Liv answers. "But that would be two married people just asking for trouble. You and I both know that," Liv defends.
"So you are just going to walk away," Andrew says.
"I'm walking away because it's the right thing to do. It's the right thing for everyone involved," Liv answers.
Andrew looks up at the television screen at the bar. Russell is on the screen on a report. Liv notices what he is looking at, "A basketball wife."
Liv looks at him, "Who would have thought?"
"I certainly wouldn't have pegged the brainiac as a basketball wife. You certainly look the part," Andrew explains.
"How does a basketball wife look?" Liv asks inquisitively.
Andrew takes a swig of his beer laughing, "You know, cute and glamorous and totally unworkable," Andrew finishes. He knows he's gonna get in trouble.
"You mean lazy," Liv squints.
"Unworkable," Andrew chuckles.
"Well I will have you know, I am no typical basketball wife. Whatever you think that is. But…I support him," Liv explains.
Andrew studies her face, "But do you love him?"
Liv stares, "Why do you ask that?"
"Just a question," Andrew says as he studies her body language.
"I better get going. I have to go be a basketball wife tonight," Liv winks.
"I hope he has a good game," Andrew says.
Liv smiles, "Thanks!" as she was getting her wallet out to pay.
"Lunch is on me," Andrew says.
"Andrew.."
"It's no problem. I am so glad I got to see you," he answers.
"I'm glad too," Liv answers. She gets up, patting the top of his hand, "Take care of him"
Andrew looks at her. Her heart is on her sleeve. "Only one person can do that," he answers.
Liv shakes her head, "See you around!"
"See you around brainy," Andrew chuckles as she leaves.
Abby is about to leave her office when there is a knock at the door. She is packing her bags when she tells the person to come in.
Fitz comes in, not really knowing what he should say. Abby looks up to see him standing there. "Do you have a minute?"
"I guess so," Abby says.
Fitz has his hands in his pocket. That's his trademark when he doesn't know what to say. "I should have told you once I knew it was Olivia."
"Yes you should have," Abby answers.
"I didn't know how to tell you. Liv didn't know how to tell you," Fitz searches for his words. "I never would have dreamed your best friend was…"
"The love of your life. The one that got away," Abby finishes for him.
Fitz walks over to the window, "You have to believe me Abby. I loved….love her too much to ever hurt her. Even Though that's what I did. But I think it wasn't just all my fuck up. I believe my dad and her dad had a hand it and I want to know what happened."
Abby wants to scream at him but she sees he's just as hurt as Liv is. But she agrees with him, the truth is out there. "I think you should know what happened. You and Liv deserve that."
"She doesn't want to know," Fitz says sadly.
"I think she does but I think in her head, too much has happened. She's afraid," Abby answers.
Fitz looks defeated, "Maybe she's right. We are both married. I have a son but I don't want to lose her again, even if she's not mine to keep."
Abby grabs his hand, "I can't tell you what to do. I know I am nosy but I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. "But, Abby picks up her bag, going for the door. "The worst kind of love is one that is built on a lie." She starts out of the door.
"Thank you Abby," Fitz says.
"No problem," she smiles as she leaves.
Fitz walks out of Abby's office, stopping at his secretary's desk. "Can you call Quinn, our nanny? Tell her I need her to stay a few more hours. Make a reservation at Capital Grill for me and Mellie."
"You got it sir. A little romantic time," she smiles.
"Something like that," he smiles back as he goes back into his office.
Liv gets home. The gardener is outside taking care of the area. She is getting out of her car when she notices that Mellie is getting out of her car, coming toward her. The gardener speaks to Liv as Liv responds with Mellie approaching.
"Mellie," she says surprised.
"You are probably surprised to see me," Mellie says cautiously.
"Yes," Liv says confused. She can feel the tension that's radiating off of Liv. "Is there something wrong?"
"I know who you are," Mellie answers.
Liv's throat catches. How does she answer Mellie? She can't lie. But she doesn't know what Mellie knows. Fitz would have told her if he said anything to Mellie, wouldn't he? She takes a breath, "I don't know what you mean."
"You are the woman that Fitz never got over. The one that he sometimes calls out in his sleep….," Mellie says with jealousy and anger laced together.
"Mellie," Liv starts.
"Did you know it was Fitz you were coming to work for?"
"No I didn't. I had no idea. We never talked about who her boss was. If we had, I never would have taken the job."
Mellie's chest deflates a little. "He's my husband."
"Yes he is," Liv answers.
"I'll fight for my family. I don't have a choice."
As this conversation is going on, Russell is looking through the window. He wonders what the ladies could possibly have to talk about. He can tell there is a little tension in both their shoulders. He looks down at something he is holding in his hands.
"I am not here to fight you or take anything from you Mellie. I'm not here to break up your family."
Mellie looks down at the ground, "He doesn't know I know who you are."
Now Liv's curiosity is piqued. How did Mellie find out? "He doesn't."
"No he doesn't. He definitely has no idea I am here."
"I quit today," Liv informs.
Mellie looks surprised. She didn't expect that. Now it has her even more intrigued why Fitz wants to have dinner tonight. "Why?"
"You and I both know why," Liv shakes her head, "It wouldn't be smart for us to invite trouble into both our homes. What we had is now in the past? We both have different lives now that we should stay committed to."
"But your work is good," Mellie admits.
Liv smiles, "I am glad everyone thinks so but…out of respect for both our marriages, I am going to walk away."
"Because you are still in love with him. Just like I know he will always be in love with you," Mellie admits.
"That doesn't matter," Liv says.
"I think it will always matter," Mellie answers.
Before Liv can answer she hears her name being called. She turns to see Russell standing there. Mellie looks in his direction waving. "I better go. He has a game tonight and I am going with him."
"Good luck! I hear if they can win the next two games, they are going to the next round. I don't know what any of it means but I hear them talk at the firm."
"Yeah! They are almost there."
"Have a good evening," Mellie says.
"You too," Liv responds as Mellie walks away. Liv turns and walks toward Russell. She knows his moods. She knows he's upset about something. She looks at him, "Are you okay?"
Russell doesn't say anything, he walks inside. She closes the door and notices he is walking down the hall. She finds him in her office. Her sketch table is untouched but her desk isn't. Her box is sitting on the desk open. "What have you done?"
"Don't you think the better question should be, what have you been doing?"
"I don't know what you are talking about. What have you been doing in my office? You broke this lock Russell," she says angrily as she marches over. She knows what he must have found at this point.
He pushes her back, "I am answering the question."
"Give me that box Russell," she says sternly.
"Not until you tell me who Fitzgerald Grant really is."
"You know who he is," Liv says. She knows she's going to regret this, "He's my ex-boss."
He holds up a piece of paper and begins to read the contents:
Fitz, I've been so angry with you and hating you….I guess loving you at the same time that emotions are all over the place. I hate what you did to us, what you did to me, most of all, I hate that you made me…
She charges to him, "Give me that!"
"No this is too good to not get into," Russell answers as he goes to start reading again and Liv snatches his hand.
"Give me that!"
Before she knows it, she's on the floor. Russell hits her hard. She falls alongside the wall, barely missing the edge of the desk. There is a thud on the floor.
"Shit," Russell yells. He runs to her side on the floor, "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. You know it. I would never hit you."
"You just did," Liv says out of breath. She's holding the side of her face. Her eyes are already starting to turn colors.
"Let me get you some ice," Russell hurriedly gets up.
"Don't touch me," Liv says.
"You need some ice. Let me get the ice," Russell says.
"Don't touch me," Liv repeats.
"Baby, I'm sorry."
"Get the hell away from me," Liv says as she is stumbling getting up.
"Would you please…."
"Go," she says with a scary softness to her voice that he's never heard before.
"Please be here when I get back," Russell says.
Liv turns away from him, looking out of the window. Her eye is swelling more and more and so are the tears in her eyes. But she doesn't want him to see her break.
"I love you! I'm sorry," Russell says as he turns and leaves the room.
Liv runs to the door, locking it, as she rests on it. She slides down and begins to cry as she looks at the letter that is not too many feet away from her. "Fitz," she says softly as she cries harder into the palms of her hands that are now covering her face.
Oh Boy! What a pickle now!
