...

Not gonna lie, I may have fucked up my mission to get Byakuya to keep his mouth shut about why the Zanpakuto civil rights act needed to come into existence. In that instead of keeping his mouth shut about it alone, I think the fucker was going to keep his mouth shut indefinitely. Judging by the vacant-ass stare on his face.

There really was a thing such as failing from your own success. I think that's what that was called.

...Oh well.

Plan b it is.

The first step was to figure out what plan b was.

Hol' up did I even have a plan a?

I idly turned my head towards Byakuya's still vacant face, just as we reached the entrance to the meeting room.

If I did, it doesn't look like it worked out.

I idly turned back ahead, took in a deep breath, and walked through the door.

...I am just going to pretend plan a starts now-

"Oh, would ya look at that." The grinning face of one Oetsu Nimaiya was the first one that filled my view, sat at the head of the table as he was. "Speak thy name and thy shall appear indeed." The man tilted his head towards Yamamoto, the only other shinigami in the room.

I blinked a few times at that.

Did he just call me the devil?

I mean... Wait hang on where the fuck did everyone go?

Better question... Did my coming stupidity still count as plan a right now?

"You!" Another voice broke my musing as I turned to a no longer speechless Byakuya, the man now glaring at the creator of the Zanpakuto.

Instinctively, I put a hand on the noble's shoulder and stopped him from going in any further. Mostly to avoid a kerfuffle via Kuchiki- Like shit at least let me figure out which fucking plan that was going to need before you start a fight!

In response to that, Byakuya turned a narrowed gaze toward me, locking eyes with me for a moment.

I made to open my mouth to say something before the man let out an un-nobly 'tch' and turned his head back the way we came and walked off.

Uh... Right.

I guess just looking at people with Aizen's face counted as a plan?

"Captain commander." Byakuya stopped on his feet, not turning his gaze back. "I'll have my report ready for you after that thing has left." And without waiting another moment the man flash-stepped away.

Huh.

I guess it's plan b after all.

B for Byakuya at this rate.

Maybe I should just call it Plan Byakuya?

I doubt he could sue me for it.

With that in mind, I turned back ahead toward the two shinigami and walked in with a smile.

Oetsu's grin had disappeared from his face, a wary look now pointed at me, while Yamamoto furrowed his brows, tacitly stealing a glance towards the man.

"Well, that was rude." Oetsu sniffed. "I thought the Gotei Thirteen knew how to respect one's rank. Especially if one was a noble as well."

"Perhaps Captain Sosuke can enlighten us about Captain Kuchiki's current... Thoughts?" Yamamoto chose to follow on, tactfully.

I think it was tactful anyway. Not that I'd ever know.

"Maybe it's 'cos you're black?" I deadpanned as I took a seat.

Oetsu blinked at me, his mouth opening and closing once before his gaze turned wary again.

"Excuse me?"

"Though he doesn't seem to have a problem with Tosen..." I muttered, a finger on my chin, before letting out a shrug. "At which case, I am guessing it is the mountain of absolutely criminal shit you've bagged on your shoulders." I grinned at him again.

Yamamoto chose to be deceptively silent regarding my words, instead electing to raise an eyebrow, this time one directed towards a now very wary Nimaiya.

"Well." The man remarked after a moment, shrugging in the process before he turned towards Yamamoto. "I am starting to understand how he managed to get through that trial of yours without implicating himself." A beat passed as he turned back towards me. "He's clearly insane."

Plan Insanity it is.

I frowned at him.

"Don't talk about Byakuya like that," I remarked. "I'll have you know he's going through something."

Oetsu's eyes narrowed the slightest bit again as he appraised me for a moment, his fingers tapping a rhythmic beat onto the table before me, while Yamamoto's expression seemed to turn almost resigned, if slightly amused as he stared at the royal guard.

"Very well then." The younger-looking fuck remarked. "I suppose it wouldn't be just to simply put someone out of their misery for insanity, we'll do it your way, Yamamoto. And if he fails... Well. I am sure you can guess what happens."

"Is that so?" My head swiveled towards the older fuck now talking. "I do recall my way merely involved a conversation."

I couldn't help the sigh that came out.

"It's still a conversation," Oetsu remarked, pausing for a moment. "Just one with dire consequences."

"Quick question," I raised a hand up, a smile growing on my face. "Mind telling me what the consequences are?"

"If you pass," Oetsu immediately started answering. "You get a nice little promotion into the Royal Guards." A beat passed. "If you fail on the other hand-"

I of course immediately cut him off.

"Cool, how do I fail?" I deadpanned. "And give it to me step by step, I have a hard time failing these days you see."

Oetsu blinked at me, his head tilting the slightest bit.

"If you fail, you will be summarily executed," Was his response, as the hints of a glare quickly filled Yamamoto's face. Oetsu noticed quickly as he let out a shrug. "Orders from above I am afraid."

I nodded at that.

"Okay, I can work with that." I waited for a moment. "Out of curiosity though, if you fail to execute me, does that mean I get to walk off free, or does that mean I still get promoted anyway?" I frowned at him.

Oetsu blinked a few more times at that, his confusion visible to see as he stared directly at me.

"Are you trying to suggest that one, you could survive an execution attempt by the Royal Guard, and two..." Incredulousness filled his voice. "You would rather take that chance than be rewarded?"

"Yes to both," I immediately remarked. "Personally, even if I couldn't survive whatever crap you or your roommates are going to pull, I'd still take dying over going to jail. Even if it is a gilded one." I shrugged, an easy smile on my face. "Honestly I-"

"Do-" Oetsu blinked at me again, this time like he was staring at an entirely new species. "Do you even know what the Royal Guard is?"

"Do you?" I questioned with a snort, before tilting my head at him at the sheer utter confusion on his face. "Oh, you poor fuck..." I shook my head at him, and calmly placed an elbow on the table.

"You don't even realize it do you?"

His eyes narrowed, wariness building up on his face.

"You don't even realize you're serving a life sentence!" I started chuckling as I pictured a group of shinigami building up a prison cell for themselves. "Shit, you can't mean to tell me that you didn't notice you were building a fucking cage for yourself that long ago!" I clapped my hands once. "Fuck me, I thought you were smart!"

"What are you talkin-"

"Hold up..." I interrupted him again. "You mean to tell me, that all this time you genuinely thought you weren't being punished?" I waved a hand. "Sheesh, and you think I am insane?"

A chuckle was what ended up breaking the sudden silence, one from Oetsu, the man utterly ignoring the somewhat shock that graced Yamamoto's face, the older man's eyes swiveling between me and the other in confusion before it settled on the utterly carefree royal guard.

"Alright," The younger-looking fuck snorted. "I'll play ball, enlighten me as to what exact crime I must've commited-"

"How many human souls did you fuck up before you successfully managed to make that first Zanpakuto?"

...

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