A/N: This chapter was revised as of 6/14/2018 - Polished, minor errors and typos fixed.
When Heroes Fall
By: Selphie Kinneas 175
Chapter 9: Pray
.:.
There was an overwhelming blackness until a hazy fog of white came to whisk it away. There was an ear-splitting silence until a low humming came to soothe him. There was nothing, and then there was something.
He thought he stood up, but everything felt so surreal that he wasn't sure. Far ahead he saw a silhouette that he hadn't seen in eons.
"Why are you always so sleepy?"
The voice was diluted, but it was beckoning. His vision drew nearer to the form, but he didn't feel himself staggering forward. He squinted, but the shadows kept the figure from being discernible.
"You always did sleep on the job," it folded its arms across its chest. "Never could stay on your feet without me."
It laughed, and that was when he knew.
He tried to call her name, but he had no voice. He tried to go to her, but he couldn't move.
She burst into hysterics, grabbing her sides as she doubled over, "Just get up, Mr. Big Important Hero! That's all you've gotta do!"
As if her words had given him permission, he got to his feet. As he ran to her, she got farther away. As he reached for her, she got quieter.
"You always were a bit dense, my little wolf, but that never mattered to me."
He shouted for her to stop, to come to him. His lips moved and his voice echoed but only within his mind. He stumbled as he ran, desperation the driving force that egged him on through the mist. She was always just out of reach, always just far enough away that he couldn't touch her.
"Get up, silly hero. Your friends need you."
The form withered away in the distance until it was gone, and there was bitter silence again.
He felt something nuzzling his face, and his eyes opened.
"Midna..." he whispered, slowly realizing that it had all been a dream.
Epona was nudging him awake, stamping and whinnying agitatedly. He coughed as he was harshly brought back to reality. The memories began flooding in, the pain and discomfort following suit. His beloved mare lay down beside him, knowing the routine well. He was unable to see much at all, but he could feel her there. He grabbed onto her mane with one hand and the saddle horn with the other. With a strained grunt, he pulled himself up onto her back. He exhaled exhaustedly, laying down along her neck as she stood up and headed towards Kakariko of her own accord.
He clutched her upper body for support, his eyes closed as he battled unconsciousness yet again. His insides were burning from the poisoned water, and his lungs begged him for deep breaths that he was struggling to take. He came and went from the enveloping blackness, missing long portions of the trek as Epona trotted across the field with care for her master always in mind.
In the dusty mountain village, Ren and Colin stampeded through the street to get to the shaman as quickly as possible. Some townsfolk shrieked at the disturbance while others gossiped amongst themselves about whether or not that was the queen and princess in tow.
Talo stepped out onto the deck at all the ruckus, noticing his friends racing toward him.
"Woah!" he shouted, running to them as they came to a halt just beside the inn's steps, "What's all this!"
Colin dismounted Ilari and reached for the queen, "They need to see Mister Renado."
Talo's jaw hung open in bewilderment, "That's the queen!"
Ren came into view from behind Mila with Emeline in his arms.
"And that's the princess?" he pointed like a child in a candy shop, assuming from her regalia and striking resemblance to Zelda that she was her daughter.
"Yes," Colin struggled with a grunt as he took on Zelda's full weight, "Could you help?"
Talo snapped from his stupor, "Oh, uh, yeah! Yeah!" He turned around and sprinted for the door to the inn, holding it open for them to enter.
Colin readjusted his grip on the unconscious queen as the wetness caused her to slip. He used all of his strength just to keep from dropping her. Luda saw them enter from the front desk and got to her feet exclaiming, "Father!"
Renado was always close by, both because his daughter's due date was drawing near and because he liked to help with his grandchildren as often as he could. In the years since the twilight and the reconstruction of Kakariko Village, he'd turned the Sanctuary into his medical practice. He saw patients from near and far, but luckily the scope of his work rarely went beyond aiding townsfolk with a simple cough or light fever. He emerged from the swinging door at the back of the inn that led to the kitchen and dining area with a look of worry on his old face. There were hushed murmurings of the patrons around him and he grew nervous as he noticed the motionless forms were that of the royal family.
The shaman hurried to them, wanting to get them out of the gossipers' earshot and also noticing that Colin was nearly dropping the queen. He held a finger in front of his lips when they opened their mouths to explain, not wanting any strangers to overhear. They got the message and kept quiet, surprisingly even Talo. Renado scooped Zelda up out of the young man's shaky arms and into his own, and they all followed him up the stairs.
There were a few empty rooms at the end of the hall where guests had just recently checked out the morning prior. Renado led them there, placing the queen down on the first bed and Ren lying the princess down on the second one beside it. The shaman looked them over and was quick to discern a rough estimate of what might have happened.
"They nearly drowned," he muttered aloud as he assured they were both laying comfortably, which was when he noticed they were not breathing.
"Boys..." he stood tall and stared at them, "Did you not restart their breathing before bringing them to me?"
Colin and Ren exchanged terrified glances, their hearts sinking as they realized they hadn't.
"Link just told us to hurry up and get them here, we didn't-" Colin stammered.
"Link?" Talo asked, "You mean you found Link?"
Colin nodded, but said nothing as he quickly looked back to the shaman.
"Where did this happen?" he questioned, hastily reaching for Zelda's wrist.
"U-Um, Zora's Domain," Colin stuttered nervously.
"Zora's D-" Renado started to exclaim in disbelief, but he stopped himself. There was no way on Farore's green earth they could survive without air for a trip so long. But as he held the queen's arm, he felt what he was looking for. He furrowed his brow as the beating of her heart was so prominently there, but there was no rise and fall of her chest.
"What..." he mumbled, eliciting puzzled looks from those in the room. "Luda, help me, quickly."
Luda moved forward to assist without question. Her father began trying to start up the queen's breathing, and it was clear to her that he wanted her to do the same with the princess. Colin, Ren, and Talo watched on fearfully, yet noiselessly, as the healer and his daughter breathed for the royals, desperate for them to breathe on their own again.
It didn't take much for Zelda to come to. Her eyes opened and she turned herself just slightly to the side so that the water could more easily trickle out of her lungs. Renado rubbed her back as she coughed, and luckily she hadn't taken in much water. She had been very calm and collected when she hit the pool, as she had been instructed by her hero.
Emeline, however, had panicked. Because she had thrashed in fear, she took in a great deal of water. Luda pumped and pumped on her chest, exerting all her energy. Ren's heart pounded as he watched Zelda come to, but saw no luck from the princess. Renado glanced over at Luda as the queen stabilized and laid on her back, breathing of her own accord again.
He rushed to help his daughter, "You will need to turn her over."
"I know, father," she murmured, "But she hasn't even made any signs yet..."
Ren took a step forward without realizing. Colin placed a hand on his shoulder and he halted.
Luda pressed her lips to the young girl's again and breathed as hard as she could, but she was starting to get light-headed. She wouldn't give up, pumping and breathing and pumping and breathing. Eventually, the princess sputtered water and Luda quickly rolled her over. She coughed weakly and the water poured from her lungs in droves. The shaman's daughter pat the young girl's back, trying to help in any way she could. She only coughed because her body forced her to; she was still very much unconscious. She went still again soon after, and Luda returned her to lie on her back.
"They need to get into dry clothing," Luda stated, looking to her husband, "Could you please get two of my nightgowns for them to wear?"
Talo nodded and headed out in a flash. Colin and Ren followed him through the door as the young woman began disrobing the queen and the princess. Their royal garments were already exceptionally overweight in their normal condition - the fact that they were wet made them absurdly heavy. It took Renado's help to lift their hefty gowns over their heads and hang them out the nearby window to dry.
Talo returned with one hand over his eyes and the other outstretched holding the light clothing, "Here! Here! Take them!"
Luda giggled at his behavior, "Thank you."
He ducked back out of the room as they dressed them in the sleepwear. He joined Ren and Colin who stood at the banister just outside the door. They overlooked the first floor down below, and the brunet man smiled at his daughters playing at the front desk. Everyone in Kakariko knew the girls and loved to come visit them. They adored playing 'mommy' at the entrance to the inn where they greeted customers and offered those checking out a piece of candy as they left. He looked back up at his younger brother, immediately taking note of the confusion on his face, and that reminded him that he, too, was completely confused.
"Wait, so... What in the world happened?" Talo asked.
Colin shrugged, "I honestly don't know. We just turned around and saw Link rescuing them from the pond. I have no idea how or why."
Talo thrust his hands to his head, "Back up. Link. You said you found Link! You can't just skip that part! How's my favorite brother? Is he okay? He's alive!" He grinned from ear to ear, "That means he's been alive all this time! Goddesses... I can't believe it! You found Link!"
He shook Colin's shoulders vigorously to which he placed his hands on the frantic man's arms to calm him. "Yes, we did," and that's when the worry for his hero crept back in, "We left him there, though... He was unconscious."
Talo furrowed his brow, "Wait, what? You found him and then you just left him there? I don't get it."
"He said Epona would come and bring him here. You know Link, he knows his limits."
"Yeah, yeah, sure," he scratched the back of his neck nervously, "I mean, as a kid all I remember is him showing up here nearly dead. So... you sure about that?"
Colin's face went blank. He... had a point.
Ren just stood beside them and listened. He'd barely been able to process the events as they unfolded – he felt like he was simply along for the ride. He felt like everything was soaring by him beyond his control. He felt like he was merely a spectator in the greater scheme of things at work without him. Everything happened so fast, in such a blur of emotions, actions, reactions, and words that he couldn't keep track. Colin lied to him, Link used him, he told his father he hated him, and the next thing they knew the hero was rescuing the queen and princess from the bottom of Zora's Domain. Nothing made sense, and he couldn't help but wonder if this was normal.
"With my dad..." Ren interjected, "Was it always like this?"
"Like what?" Colin asked.
"Just... sitting here wondering what just happened? Worrying if everyone's gonna be okay, if he's gonna be okay? Just..." he thought for a moment, but could find no better description, "Constant worrying and wondering?
"Pff," Talo laughed out loud, "Yes, absolutely. One hundred percent yes. Totally and completely yes. You betcha. No doubt about it. Yes, yes, yes, yes, y-"
"He gets it," Colin interrupted.
Ren turned and rested his elbows on the banister, staring at nothing in particular. He wasn't sure how he was feeling – it was something he'd never experienced before. One part of him felt bad for declaring his hatred for his father, but the other part felt it was necessary. For the first time, he was seeing the side of Link that everyone always spoke of. In his mind, he'd always pictured an invincible, godlike man of raw strength who wasn't afraid of anything. In truth, he was very much human with both weaknesses and fears. His mother had reminded him of the hero's humanity all her life, but to Ren, it just never quite got through. When he saw him risking his life to save Zelda and Emeline, vulnerable and weak, it made him rethink everything he thought he knew. He still thought he should tell him he was sorry for saying he hated him, but he wasn't so sure he felt differently yet, he only felt poorly for hurting him. He was still angry, but the other emotions were mixing in and making it a confusing concoction of feelings he didn't know what to do with.
He wanted to talk to him, but at the same time he didn't. He wanted to avoid him, but at the same time he wanted to run to him. He wanted to confide in him. He wanted him to be a parent. Since his mother died he'd longed for the reassurance of a mother or a father, the comfort, the stability, the security. But at the same time, he wanted him to know he was still furious with him.
He just hoped he'd get the chance to do all those things – the good and the bad.
"Mama!" one of the little girls screamed from downstairs, "Papa!"
Talo leaned over the railing to get a better look at his daughters. They were pointing out the window.
"There's a strange man falling down outside!"
"That's gotta be Link," Colin muttered before racing down the staircase with Talo at his heels.
Ren stayed put, watching from the second floor. He felt like he was in the way, and he wasn't ready to face his father after what had happened. His discomfort and unease prevented him from following, so he would simply observe – for now.
Colin flew out of the front door. He saw Epona standing at the base of the patio, and he saw Link crumpled on the stairs trying to get back on his feet.
He hastened to his older brother's side, "Hey, hey, hey, lemme help you."
Link looked at him strangely for a moment before the pieces seemed to click back into place in his mind, "I'm alright."
Talo chuckled from the door, holding it open for them, "That's the Link I remember."
Colin went to lift the hero's arm up so he could help him walk, but Link shrugged him off.
"I said I'm alright."
The younger man opened his mouth to speak, but Link beat him to the punch.
"Zelda and Emeline, are they alright?" he coughed, "Does Renado know about the poison?"
Colin's brow tensed, "'Poison'?"
Link sighed, but an uncomfortable sensation in his stomach stopped him from saying anything. He stumbled to the edge of the deck when he couldn't keep the bile down any longer. He wretched nothing more than stomach acid onto the dirt ground beneath the railing he leaned over. He hacked with a grimace, slinking down to one knee once his body was empty.
"For Din's sake," Colin said as he went to his side, "Are you poisoned too?"
"Not a big deal," Link muttered, getting to his feet, "Renado needs to know they need an antidote."
The hero went to grab for the doorknob, but his hand was just waving in its direction. Colin and Talo looked at each other worriedly. Link rubbed at his eyes, realizing then that Talo had been holding the door open for them. He nodded in thanks, hoping neither of them noticed his bizarre behavior.
The two younger Ordonians followed him inside, Talo instructing his daughters to stay put as they started up the stairwell. Link tripped and tumbled to his knees, and Colin tried to help him up to which he agitatedly shrugged him off again. He rubbed his eyes, managing to make it up to the room with much difficulty.
He stumbled through the doorway with a huff, startling Luda and Renado as they finished ensuring the girls were comfortable.
"Link?" Renado whispered, rising slowly to his feet.
"They're poisoned," he managed to get out through labored breaths.
The shaman went to him calmly, "Okay, they will be alright, thank you." He turned to his son-in-law, "Run to the Sanctuary and fetch my kit of potions."
Talo nodded and bolted out of the door past Colin and Ren.
Renado put his hands on the hero's shoulders, looking him over quietly. Link was so much older than when he had seen him last. He looked worn and tired, aged and broken down. His skin was pale and sweat dripped down his temple. He'd lost a substantial amount of weight, his hair was a mess, and his body looked weak. Renado's heart beat punishingly against his chest as he thought of all the years that had passed, the quality of life he must have been living, the loneliness. There was a part of him that thought he would never see this young man again, and yet, here he was.
He always was a mystery, through and through.
"After all these years, you still choose to greet me in some dire circumstance," the old man smiled.
Link wanted to smile back, but he was too troubled, "I need to know the queen and princess are okay."
Just like that, it was as if no time had passed. This was the same restless, brash hero that Renado remembered both fondly and fearfully.
"I said that they will be alright, did I not?" he looked at him sternly, "All this time and you do not trust me?"
The hero took in a deep breath, composing himself, "I do trust you, with everything I have left in me."
Renado felt a twinge of concern, and at that could only give a straight-lined smile.
Talo dashed back in seconds later with a large basket in his hands, "Got it!"
"Thank you, son," the healer said as he grabbed two bottles. He handed the first one to his daughter who administered it quickly to the princess. The second one he pressed to the queen's lips and gently eased down its contents.
Luda stood after successfully giving Emeline the antidote, rubbing at the small of her back painfully. Her father noticed her exhaustion, saying calmly, "Thank you, my sweet. You should sit down."
She nodded and Talo met her halfway to help her into a nearby chair.
Renado went back to the collection of potions and grabbed out a third bottle. He held it out to the hero who looked confused.
"It is clear you share the same affliction as our fair royalty. Take it," the shaman said, extending it further.
Link looked down at the wise man's hand, but as he went to grab what he was holding he came up blank. It appeared as if his hand was vanishing and reappearing inches apart, toying with him. It was blurry and distant like a mirage, and to the rest of the people in the room he looked like a blind man reaching for what he could not see.
"Link, are you having trouble seeing?" Renado asked, worry thick in his voice.
He leaned in close to look at the hero's eyes and the young man met his gaze. His eyes were completely bloodshot, the whites of his eyes were entirely red and his pupils were dilated.
Renado looked even more concerned, placing a hand on his shoulder as he said, "Can you see me, my boy?"
Link gazed up at him, "Yes." It wasn't really a lie. He could see the outline of a tall, older man standing before him. It was wavy, distorted, and alien, but he could see that he was there.
The shaman grabbed Link's hand and placed the potion into it himself, "Drink that."
Link rubbed his eyes with his free hand, clearing his vision just enough for him to recognize the purple liquid he'd had to drink so many years ago when he'd been poisoned the first time. What a ridiculous sentence, he thought.
"Ugh," he mumbled in protest as he downed the vile medicine. He wiped his hand across his lips with a disgruntled expression.
"Now, you should lie down while that works its magic," Renado suggested calmly.
Link looked up at him, then at the queen lying unconscious on the bed behind him. He thought for a moment, but then gave in. He nodded to the older man and the shaman gave a meager smile as he motioned the hero towards the door behind him. He turned and almost plowed right into Talo who had been hovering closely behind him in worry. He saw who he believed was Colin and Ren standing just in the hall, but he couldn't see their anxious expressions.
He gave only a weak nod in their direction, a feeble attempt at thanks that he would better dole out later. He made his way to the room he couldn't forget even if he tried. He struggled to find the doorknob for only a second, but he hid it well. He stepped inside, threw off only what would prevent him from laying comfortably, and plopped onto the bed.
Renado followed him in and shut the door behind him, whispering to the boys in the hallway that the hero need not have an audience at the moment. He took up a seat and sat at the young man's bedside, and he felt a thousand familiar feelings flood in.
"This makes it seem as if nothing has changed."
Link closed his eyes, and he could feel himself slipping fifteen years into the past just the same.
He gave a frail smile, "Maybe it hasn't."
Renado took on a contemplative expression, "Yes... While some things have remained quite the same, others are now worlds different."
Link turned his head to look at the wise man, encouraging him to go on.
"The children are no longer children, yet their every action and reaction of their adult lives are determined by the traumas that affected them when they were young. The twilight no longer infects our skies or our people, but they remain infected if only by a different evil. The kingdom is rebuilt, but from the inside I imagine it still appears quite broken. Our dear hero was victorious against the strongest malevolence we had ever seen; his body survived, but his mind and spirit were very much lost in the battle."
Link's eyes were locked into his, mesmerized by his words. There was the faintest hint of sadness on the hero's face, and although he disguised it well, the shaman saw it plain as day.
"We have hoped and prayed to the goddesses that they would one day return you to us. Many lost hope, but I knew when the time was right we would see you again."
Link frowned, "I'm not so sure the time was right."
"I believe it was."
The younger man exhaled slowly as he brought an arm up to rest across his eyes, the pressure dulling the discomfort if only a bit.
All was silent in the room for far too long, and Link found it odd that the shaman hadn't asked him what happened, where he'd been... or anything. He supposed he was trying to let him rest, but that was the last thing he wanted to do.
"I don't want to sleep," Link admitted, still keeping his eyes shut beneath the weight of his arm.
"Why is that?" the healer asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.
"Nightmares," the hero shook his head, "I just... have so many nightmares. I try to avoid sleeping as much as I can."
"Well, no doubt that is unhealthy for you and weighs heavily on your mental well-being," he lectured. The ensuing sigh in response made Renado backtrack, "But I can understand wanting to avoid the terrors."
Link was silent for a minute, embarrassed at what he was about to admit.
"I've been alone for so long," he mumbled, "And I really don't want to fall asleep... at least for as long as I can put it off. Would you just... talk to me?"
Renado was a bit taken aback. He'd always known the hero needed support deep down, but for him to admit it was worrisome. He never wanted to let anyone know he was suffering and he never wanted anyone to fret over him. Asking anyone for help was the last thing he wanted to do. He knew if he was willing to come clean about it that it must be serious.
"Well," Renado cleared his throat, "I would love to know where your heart has taken you the past fifteen years."
Link shook his head, "A whole lot of nowhere."
The shaman frowned. Clearly he was not ready to divulge everything just yet. Even though he wanted conversation, it was still just hard for him.
Link could feel his slight discomfort without looking at him, and he realized he was being rather standoffish, "I've been in the desert."
"Oh?" Renado asked, "And was your venture at all fruitful?"
"No," Link sighed, "Not at all."
"Hm," the old man hummed in thought, "Perhaps it served as a lesson. Perhaps, even though you did not find what you set out looking for, you found something you were not aware you were looking for."
The hero scoffed, "And what would that be?"
"A new purpose."
Link was silent and still for what felt like a long time. He then removed his arm from his face and turned to look at the shaman. The young man's eyes narrowed as the wisdom in that statement resonated with him.
He'd missed this. The conversation, the communication, the companionship. Having another soul, not only a soul that understands, but just a soul. Epona always heard but she couldn't listen. He wasn't alone anymore. He'd spent so many years by himself, no one to confide in or talk to. No one to give him warmth and comfort. No one to provide wisdom or insight. No one to simply provide a human bond or relationship.
After an eternity of muted pondering, Link turned to look at the ceiling, his eyelids growing heavy. He rested one hand atop his chest and released a deep breath.
"I think you just might be right," he whispered.
Renado smiled. Normally, he would have let him drift off at this point, but he knew what he longed for was communication. He knew it wouldn't be long before he fell asleep on his own, so he would talk until then.
"You have become an uncle a few times over in your absence."
Link gave a crooked smile, eyes still shut, "Talo and Luda?"
"Yes," Renado said with a proud grin, "Two little girls and a third child on the way. Talo is desperate for this one to be a boy."
Link chuckled softly.
"Kina and Orielle are their names, and they have brought out such a protective side of Talo I had never seen before. I could not be happier with the man my daughter has chosen to spend her life with."
Link smiled again, doing naught but listening. The pleasant words and thoughts slowed his heartbeat and put him in such a state of serenity he hadn't felt in years.
"Beth back in Ordon has a little boy named Evan as well. What a joy it is to watch the children grow up and have children of their own."
He couldn't wipe the calm, happy expression from his face if he'd tried. It warmed his heart to know everyone had been doing well while he was gone. Renado was silent after that, and it prompted Link to ask more.
"Malo?"
"No. He has remained quite alone, to my knowledge. He lives in Castle Town, and I have not heard from him in many years," he answered sadly, "Perhaps Ren and Colin saw him during their visit."
"Colin?"
Renado shook his head, "No. From what I have heard, he took to seeing after Ren and Calie quite extensively after your departure."
Link bit his lip in discomfort. A knot formed in his stomach – the guilt was back. He shut his eyes again and tried to push it aside.
"Rusl and Uli are alright?" he questioned.
"As far as I know from my distance, yes, Ordon is mostly faring well," Renado answered rather carefully. He wasn't sure how much Link knew, and if he hadn't heard about Ilia yet, he knew this wouldn't be the time or place.
The thought of his childhood friend crossed his mind as well, and he could tell the shaman's unease was due to trying to tiptoe around it. He swallowed hard, staring at the blackness inside his lids. He saw her face there, and he couldn't help but wonder so many things.
"Were you there when Ilia died?" he asked bluntly.
Renado cleared his throat, rather taken aback, "No, I was not."
"Were you there long after I left?"
"Yes," the healer answered plainly, knowing where this was going.
Link opened his eyes and turned to him, asking him to elaborate without words.
"None of us knew Ilia was with child. She barricaded herself in your home and delivered by herself. Ren's arrival took us all by surprise," he said with a meager chuckle.
Link stared at the older man's blurry face. She must have felt utterly alone and ashamed. She must have felt so completely terrified and unsure. Link's heart physically ached in that moment, imagining her going it all alone. He looked back at the ceiling, the blankness of the wood staring back at him easier to stomach than the shaman's inquisitive eyes. Even though Renado was always understanding and never judgmental, Link couldn't help but feel so embarrassed. How did everyone react when Ren was born and his father was nowhere to be seen? Did everyone back home think of Link poorly now? Did they think he was selfish enough to leave a child behind? Surely they had to know he had no idea... Right?
"He's a good lad," Renado spoke up, breaking Link from his thoughts, "He longs for a relationship with you more than anything."
Link sighed, closing his eyes, "I don't think he wants that anymore."
"Oh?" the healer inquired.
"He told me he hated me."
"Ah," the wise man said, his calm tone garnering a perplexed look from the hero. "He is a headstrong boy with the boldness of his father and the abrasiveness of his mother. He speaks on a whim but he will come around."
Link was quiet. He simply listened and absorbed. He breathed in deep and drunk in the tranquility in the air. The healer's words sunk into his soul and awoke an optimism he was wary of. He felt a twinge of contentment in his heart, a pinch of brightness in a place that was black for so long. There was a warmth buried deep in his chest, a spark of illumination peeking through the cracks in his spirit. Hope was a light trying desperately to shine on him through the bleakness; all he had to do was allow it in.
A peace washed over him, relaxing his muscles and resting his weary mind. Renado talked soothingly at his side, his deep voice a lullaby that slowly carried him to dreamland. The shaman prayed as the hero slipped away that he would find dreams of calm, not of anguish. He prayed he would rest soundly and not awaken to the frights of monsters both past and present. He placed his soft hand on the young man's clammy forehead, sending the most important prayer up to the heavens.
Let this man release his inner demons. Let him surrender his past, dark and menacing. Let him embrace his future, bright and free. Break the shackles that chain him to pain and suffering. Melt away the dread that binds him to guilt and regret.
Let him feel a peace he has not felt yet in his lifetime. Let him feel happy.
Please.
He slept then, and he slept soundly. Perhaps he slept the most sound he had since before the twilight. Perhaps it was thanks to the prayers of the shaman, or perhaps it was simply because he was exhausted. He was exhausted from years of wasted time. Years of hopelessness and strife. Years of pain and confusion. Years of being lost. Not physically lost, either, that would be much too easy. Mentally lost. Emotionally lost. His heart didn't understand, and, truthfully, neither did his brain. His mind tried to console his feelings time and time again but both just spoke nonsense. Neither were coherent, neither could understand, neither could make sense of anything. He felt as if he was always grasping at straws, reaching out for someone or something just barely out of reach.
But for now, he would sleep. The healer's prayers were only partially met, to a dismay the hero wouldn't let him possess. He was accustomed to waking up in a cold sweat several times throughout the night. He would dream of drowning, bubbles of precious air fleeing to a surface miles away. He would dream of being trapped and caged, walls above and about him with no visible escape in sight. He would dream of burning, flesh melting and agonizing screams alighting his throat. He would dream of being lost in a foreign place, twisting corridors and narrow caverns taunting him with each heavy step. He would dream of ghosts and demons, phantoms tormenting him with their words and their weapons. He would dream of blood, sticky between his fingers and metallic between his teeth. He would dream of bones, reanimated beasts and his own snapping in half. Monsters mocked him, their shadows danced around him, their screeches pierced his ears, their claws buried into his skin. His loved ones fell to ash at his feet, their screams stilled his heart, their tears froze his flesh, their blood stained his soul. He saw himself, he watched his life go by without him, he heard his friends go on without him, he felt a love whisk by without him. He felt alone, and in his loneliness, he felt suffocated.
That was not now. Now, he found peace – well, mostly. He dreamt of those very monsters, the very freezing, burning, drowning deaths he had experienced, the trapped hopelessness of wading in his own blood, of stepping on his own bones. The difference was, those things were far away. In his state of sleep, he watched them through a foggy filter. He waved across the chasm as they clambered their bodies and gnashed their fangs at him from afar. His heartrate still quickened, his breath still tried to catch up with him. He was not having entirely pleasant dreams, but at least they were not the all-out horrors he was used to.
Perhaps the shaman's cry had been heard, or perhaps the deities just pitied him on this night.
Morning came the same as every morning had before it. The sun rose with no different amount of vigor or shine in its wake. The birds chirped, the people roused, the waters lapped, and the fires crackled. Any Hylian would have told you this morning was the same as any. The hero of twilight would have told you otherwise.
Link's eyes opened slowly to a sight he hadn't seen in years: a ceiling above his head, a mattress beneath his body, and water and food beside him. His first instinct was to grab for his sword, the years of sleeping in fear and awaking to beasts having trained him well. The overwhelming calm around him, however, reminded him - even in his dazed state of half-sleep - that he need not panic here. Here he felt safe, he felt protected, and he felt a placidity he'd been sorely missing.
He felt he had at last returned to his sanctuary, his shelter. He felt free from harm, a blissful relief that washed over him like cleansing rain.
He wanted to see Zelda.
He sat up and gazed around the quiet room. He placed his hands on the soft cot beneath him, squeezing gently. He was warm, the sweat dripping from his brow acknowledging his temperature. He saw a plate of bread and a tall glass of cool water on the bedside table. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he thought of his loved ones and how attentive they were.
He reached for the bread and took a massive bite, the taste of real food sending a shiver down his spine. For over a decade he'd eaten only what he could find, which most of the time was nothing. Sand worms were the majority of his diet as they were abundant, and rarely was he able to find coconuts on a lone palm tree or a lost boar from the days the bulblins camped there. He devoured the loaf in a second flat, grumbling in contentment as he reached for the water. He gulped it down loudly, finishing with an audible 'ahh' and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He had been lucky enough to find a single oasis during his time in the wasteland. The pool was small and only cool in the late hours of the night, but it had been key to his survival. He'd lost track of it on several occasions, but ultimately was always able to find his way back.
He looked around again, noticing he'd been stripped of his effects. He was surprised he'd slept through it, the years of always sleeping with one eye open for fear of his life never allowing him such a deep slumber. On the floor against the wall sat his trusty Hylian shield, its luster diminished from constant use and its colors faded from years under the harsh sun. It kept him alive through countless battles, and it was something he treasured dearly.
Beside it sat his belt and pouches, frayed seams and tattered edges abound. The packs were mostly empty now compared to his days as the hero. He only saw to keeping his bow and arrows, his clawshot, basic first aid needs, and his cap. He didn't like to wear the cap as it reminded him of a past he'd much rather forget, but he couldn't part with it either. He'd kept his more specialized weapons in a chest in the basement of his home back in Ordon – perhaps he would look through those trinkets one day and bestow some upon Ren as a gift. Maybe he would find some of it interesting? He had no idea.
In the middle lay his tunic folded nicely, and his chainmail beneath it. Both were worn beyond recognition. The tunic was tattered, dull, and ridden with loose thread and holes. Blood stained the fabric from neck to hem, both his own and his enemies', both from the twilight and from the desert. The mail had several broken links, and he was surprised it had held up as long as it had – through as much as it had. The tunic, like the cap, reminded him of something he didn't want to remember, but the ensemble helped him to survive, and for that he kept wearing it.
Beside it all sat his empty scabbard. The beautiful blue and gold had barely lost its shine over the years, perhaps because it was the house of a legendary blade. A blade that was now gone... He'd left it in the hands of an evil man – he'd only hoped the sword stayed loyal to him during their separation.
Link swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He was dizzy, but a steady hand to his head slowed the spinning of the room. His vision was fuzzy around the edges, but had improved drastically from the day prior. He had various rashes on his pale skin, likely from the exposure to the poisoned water. He rubbed sorely at one on his arm, and it frightened him to think how the queen and princess were managing after the encounter.
He got to his feet with a stumble. He pressed a firm hand to the wall to stable himself, raising his opposite hand to rub his temples. He sighed at the discomfort, but shrugged it off. He reached for the door knob and opened it slowly, the cool air of the open hallway giving him goosebumps. He heard his friends and family talking downstairs, and he smelled a sweet aroma coming from the kitchen. He overheard Talo and Luda talking with their daughters about not poking the gorons while they were sleeping in their 'ball' forms, to which he heard Colin laugh whole-heartedly. He could also hear their various customers making small talk and hushed chitchat in some of the neighboring rooms, and he couldn't help but be shocked that they had livened this place up so much. They had turned it into a proper business, and at that Link felt proud.
He knocked softly on the door he knew the royalty occupied before stepping over the threshold. He saw Renado sitting with Ren, talking quietly at the queen's bedside. They both turned to look at the hero as he entered. Renado appeared happy to see him, Ren seemed petrified.
"Ah," the shaman began as he stood tall and made his way over to him, "You're up. Are you feeling well?"
Link gazed at his son, sitting frozen to his seat with eyes glued to his own. He looked as if he had so much to say, like if he were to part his lips only a smidge the words would just pour out. It was clear he was using everything he had in him to keep his mouth shut.
The hero looked to Renado with a slight smile, "I feel better, yes. How are Zelda and Emeline?"
He turned and glanced at them over his shoulder, "They are... recovering."
Link tensed his brow, and the wise man could tell he wanted more.
"Zelda makes decent progress. Her breathing has evened out, yet her temperature remains low. Her skin is cold and retains a hint of blue that is steadily fading. She has a frequent, weak cough as her lungs are still recovering. All of these are normal symptoms of a near drowning experience and I expect her to overcome it in time," he explained matter-of-factly, "The good news is she took in very little poison. It appears the only affliction she took from that are the rashes on her skin. The strange part is how on Farore's green earth they survived so long without air. At that I am positively baffled."
He went silent then, clearly having tried to deviate the conversation but Link took notice.
"And Emeline?"
Renado pursed his lips, "She... is not faring as well as her mother."
Link's eyes narrowed and his heartbeat quickened, but he said nothing.
"It is clear that she panicked when she hit the pool..." he began, his tone low, "She breathed in a lot of water, and swallowed a lot of poison. Because of this her breathing remains sparse and uneven, yet her temperature fluctuates between exceptionally low and exceedingly high. The poison causes her to vomit occasionally, which is a blessing in disguise as it will remove any leftover in her system. The redness around her eyes suggests loss of or impaired vision, much like you had yesterday. Luckily, she has not come to yet as I imagine the discomfort would be overwhelming for her."
Link sighed in defeat, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing at his own tired eyes.
"I do believe... in time... she will be alright. She just needs constant monitoring and frequent administering of antidotes."
The hero looked back up at him, "Thank you, Mister Renado."
Renado smiled, "It has always been and will continue to be my pleasure. I do believe it is my purpose in this world. If only we all had our purpose sitting so plainly before us, hm?"
He locked into Link's eyes then, and he knew what he was getting at. He nodded, but no more needed to be said. The shaman patted him on the shoulder and exited the room, leaving Link and Ren to themselves.
All was silent. They both simply stood and sat, respectively. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but neither knew where to start. There was so much that needed to be said, that should be said. So much to be explained, to be explored, to be asked, and to be discovered. There was a whole world between them they were too afraid to cross. A whole decade of life they were too terrified to open up. A whole relationship they were too skeptical to initiate.
Link scratched the back of his head, searching for some words that would be appropriate, "I know you hate me," he blurted at last, dropping his hands down to his sides, "For that much I am sorry. I wish I could fix everything but I can't. I wish I could go back and be a father to you but I can't."
"You can now..." Ren whispered.
Link gazed at him, and Ren reciprocated. All he could see was Ilia. They didn't share the same eye color or even shape, but he could only see her when he looked into his eyes. He could see her determination, her selflessness, her sacrifice. He could see her pain and her loneliness. It was too much.
He turned his head away, "I can't. I-… I'm not good enough, Ren. I am so-" he paused, stuttering embarrassingly, "I'm so damn broken. I want to fix it, I'm tired of it being an excuse. But I can barely even look at you. I just see your mother, and I hate myself for it. I want to tell her I'm sorry, too – I want to fix everything, Ren. I just don't know how yet."
Ren's eyes went downcast. He was angry, in fact, he was furious, but that wasn't the emotion that surfaced. More so than rage, guilt took over him. He knew this man was suffering, had been suffering, and he hadn't been considerate of that. He knew what he'd been through – mostly – and he still judged him for his actions. He thought only of his own selfish wants. He thought only of his fairytale meeting. He had built it all up to such drastically unrealistic standards that he would have been disappointed no matter what. He should've been smart enough to realize his father wasn't perfect. He should've been understanding enough to realize a child showing up after fifteen years was overwhelming. He should've been compassionate enough to see his father needed help much more than he did. He shouldn't have let anger drive him, as it so often did.
He was the reason his father and mother could never reunite. He was the reason she was dead. He robbed his father of the apology he longed to give her. He robbed his mother of seeing the love of her life one last time. He robbed them of their friendship, their bond. He whisked it right out from under their feet, tripping them up on a rug of his own selfish creation. He'd been childish, foolish, stupid. It was his fault his parents could never see each other again. It was his fault they would never get the closure they deserved.
The young boy stood up, watching his father's frazzled behavior desperately trying to come up with something worthwhile to say.
He knew he needed to take that step for him.
"I'm... sorry," he whispered, the words requiring every ounce of discipline he possessed.
Link looked at him wide-eyed.
"For saying I hate you... I didn't mean it."
"Ren-"
"I'm mad at you," he interjected, "But I understand. I don't feel ready to talk yet, but I just wanted to make sure you knew I didn't mean it."
Link was shocked. He found the only suitable reply was a frail smile and a nod, respecting his wish not to discuss it further.
"Thank you," the hero said plainly.
Ren didn't want to smile, but he forced it. "You're welcome, d-" he bit his tongue. He just couldn't say it. He couldn't call him dad. Not yet. It still felt too strange.
He swallowed his words with an awkward glance. He headed for the door and took his leave before the situation could be made to feel any weirder.
Link sighed as the door shut behind his son. He ran his calloused hands down his face in defeat. That was the most the two had spoken since their meeting, but it was still so... uncomfortable. It felt formal, unrelaxed, and strained. They were both trying too hard, neither one relaxed enough with the other to open up and be fully themselves. Every word was carefully thought out and concise. He didn't know if they would ever get to a point where they weren't odd around each other; he wished he had Ilia's help.
He sat down in the wooden chair beside the queen. She looked like an angel resting upon a cloud. Her pale skin reflected the sun through the nearby window, and her shallow breaths were nearly inaudible. Her long hair was splayed out across the pillow in an organized mess. Her crown was missing from her head, and her roots were damp with sweat. He'd never seen her look so... natural. Even in a state of what should be disarray, she was undeniably beautiful.
Her ungloved hands lay at her sides, and Link reached out and held the one closest to him. Her skin was freezing. He took his other hand and wrapped it over the top of hers, gripping tightly in an attempt to warm her.
Her eyes fluttered, and she looked at him through tired slits.
"Good morning," she whispered.
He smiled, "You're up."
"For quite some time... yes."
"You heard, then?"
"Everything."
Her crackled voice strained his heart. As long as he'd known her she'd been strong, unwavering, a constant beacon of stability and control. To hear her weak pained him, but still she smiled at him through icy lips. Her teeth chattered quietly, and Link reached his free hand up to better cover her with the thick blanket.
He smiled again, "I'm so glad you're alright. I was... terrified."
She smirked playfully, "The hero of courage... terrified?"
"Ha," he mocked, "I terrify quite easily, princess, but seeing you in danger paralyzed me."
"I was not scared..." she breathed slow, eyes blinking even slower, "I knew you would stop at nothing to protect us, and for that... I am eternally grateful."
"I should have been faster," he mumbled, "I should have been smarter than him. Emeline should not have been put in harm's way at all."
She squeezed his hand tight, "That is not your guilt to bear... Viscen... will pay for what he has done."
Link glanced down at their clasped hands, his mind finally slowing down and processing what exactly happened at the top of the waterfall.
"I had planned on opening the portal right then and there," Link began, "Do you think... Viscen was able to open it?"
She shook her head weakly, pausing frequently to breathe, "No... He is not the one... the prophecy speaks of... He cannot wield the blade of evil's bane. He is not the hero... he wishes he was."
"He must not know that. He must think he can somehow be the one of noble intentions the book spoke of," Link concluded.
She nodded, "Yes... He believes he outplayed us... perhaps he did... But he does not hold all the cards."
"Did he know I snuck you out to help me with the portal?" he asked with a furrowed brow, "Did he listen to our plan? He knew where we would be and when we would be there," he shook his head, the thought making him nervous, "I don't like it."
She clenched her jaw, the realization concerning her as well, "Yes... He must have known all along. He must have overheard... He may have planted the pages of the book purposely for us to find them..."
He breathed deep, "He wanted us to set it all up for him."
She nodded worriedly, "Yes."
Link gazed down again, contemplating it all. Zelda watched him through heavy lids. He appeared defeated - perhaps because, technically, they were defeated. He left behind all that had been important to him for more than a decade. He left behind a blade that bonded with his soul over the course of his life. She could feel the defeat radiating from him, could see the black cloud of despair hovering around him. She could practically read his thoughts, and his emotions were all too clear to her.
"You sacrificed all that you longed for... all that you searched and scoured this earth for for years..." she whispered, and he returned her steady stare, "You gave up everything that has mattered to you... to save us. To save my daughter."
"Princess-"
She lifted her hand from her hero's and placed it to his cheek. Her fingers were icicles on his warm skin, and she smiled through just-barely wet lashes at him.
"I can never thank you enough," she uttered.
He grabbed her hand from his face and wrapped both of his hands around it. He brought her cold fingers to his lips and gave them a peck.
"There is no need for that. I would do it again and again and again," he smiled, "I'm just glad you both will be alright."
Her eyes closed as she released a heavy sigh, "Yes... Thank Nayru we will be alright. Perhaps... she heard my prayers..."
Link's brow tensed at those words, and he dropped their clasped hands back down to the bed. He gazed off at the princess, sleeping soundly. It was clear to Zelda that he was uncomfortable with those words, and she found it bizarre. She studied him for only a moment. She could feel his feelings. She could think his thoughts. Her heart beat in time with his and his breath was her own. She knew what was wrong.
"You disapprove of praying to the goddesses."
He turned to her on a dime. They did naught but stare for several heartbeats. He knew she knew, and he knew there was nothing he could hide – not that he particularly cared to, anyway.
"I just don't see the point."
She gazed into his deep eyes and said nothing. She knew he would go on if she didn't press it.
"I prayed to them so many times, princess. When I thought I was dying, when I wanted to die, when I cared for nothing and when I needed the most help. They never answered," he paused, watching her reaction. "I felt abandoned by them. I felt like... like once I was done being their hero they didn't care what happened to me. Have I ever told you I met them, Your Highness?"
She shook her head.
"When I almost died at Ganondorf's hands, they brought me to the Sacred Realm. I met them and they helped me."
She grinned, "What a wonderful thing... to have met the goddesses that shaped our world."
"Yes..." he sighed, "But I feel used. I have not felt them since then. I have not heard them since then. I feel like a discarded toy they no longer found use in."
Zelda looked at him forlornly, "They are still here for us... for you, hero. I will pray that one day you may feel their presence again."
He wanted to scoff – and he almost so rudely did – but, instead, he gave a meager, crooked smile and said, "Whatever you say, princess."
She closed her eyes then, and Link could feel her reaching out to the goddesses. She sent a prayer up to the heavens, and the hero was respectful, although critical. He watched her porcelain face, serene and at peace, until he could feel that she was done.
"Did I ever tell you I met the hero of time as well?"
Her eyes opened and sparkled at his words, "No."
He chuckled fondly at the memory, "He was... such a happy spirit for having led such a sad life. Our stories turned out to be much more similar than I thought."
"Oh?" she urged.
"Yeah... He told me he left Hyrule after defeating Ganon. I remember asking him why he didn't stay, why he wouldn't want to see the land he'd suffered to protect in its time of peace."
"He left to find his companion," she inserted.
He nodded, "He was never successful. Maybe... that's just the way it's meant to be."
"Nothing is meant to be one way or another," she stated, "Everything is as we, ourselves, make it to be."
He nodded a bit sarcastically, as if he accepted her words but didn't fully agree with them, "Maybe."
"You have come so close... You have obtained everything you need to see her again... We need only get them back."
"My time was a waste though," he blurted, "I searched the desert because I thought it would be the most likely place to have a piece of the twilight. There were the portals in the sky and even the mirror to the twilight itself. I scoured every inch of that sandy hell, and there was nothing left. The piece I needed ended up being under my nose the whole time. Back home, in the hands of my son."
She swallowed hard, understanding his feelings completely. She knew it felt like he'd thrown his life away for nothing.
"Everything serves a purpose..." she murmured through still-chattering teeth, "Even if you cannot see it at first... There is always good that comes from the bad."
He regarded the queen with a smirk, "Must you make everything a lesson?"
"What is it you say to me about still calling me princess?" she paused with a playful smile, "Ah, yes... 'old habits.'"
He laughed happily then; it was a sound Zelda had not heard in far too long.
"I never got to properly tell you... how much I missed you in those fifteen long years you were gone."
His smile faded, "Yes... I'm sorry."
"No apologies," she uttered under her breath, "It is just important to me that you know how much I care for you."
"And I-"
"-You," she finished his sentence with him, to which they both smiled in silent joy.
Several moments passed and Zelda's eyelids grew heavier. Exhaustion was gripping at her consciousness again and Link was privy to this.
"One last thing before you rest, princess?"
She opened her eyes, "Of course."
"Renado mentioned that you and Emeline were unable to breathe the entirety of the trip from the domain to here," his brows drew together, saying it out loud bringing to light the absurdity of it, "How is that possible?"
She looked at him sternly and grasped his hand tight. She was mute for some seconds before she replied.
"You recall, I am sure, back during your time as hero... when I saved Midna from death?"
Link nodded, "Of course."
She breathed deep, not having the energy to give a long-winded explanation, so she cut to the point, "I am able to use a form of that power in casting a protection on someone... It is a much more subdued form than pulling one from the hands of death... meaning it does not require my whole being as it did then."
Link's eyes narrowed as he listened intently.
"I did this to Emeline when she was very young... young enough not to remember. Her father terrified me even then... and I knew I had to protect her however I could. I cast it on myself as well, several years later," she explained, "It is a draining task... one that I cannot perform as often as I would like... But I thought you should know that I did this to Ren as well when he and Colin first met with me... He does not know he has it."
His forehead creased, shocked at her words.
"It is not all powerful... but it will save the bearer from death in mild circumstances for a short period of time... I have trained with this power ever since I discovered its full potential with Midna... but, unfortunately... I just am not able to draw the strength to cast it often. It takes..." she paused, thinking on it, "A very... very long time to build the power again."
Link nodded slowly, taking it all in as best he could grasp it.
"And you used this to protect my son..." he spoke softly, "Thank you."
She nodded, "I pray he will never have to use it... But it is there should the situation arise."
He smiled, and that was all she needed.
He could feel her praying again. He could feel her desires and her wishes. He could almost hear her plea to the heavens, and at that he had to avert his gaze. His faith had dwindled over the years, and he just couldn't bring himself to pray as he had been raised to. He felt betrayed by the goddesses, abused by them. Why ask them for help when they only listen when it suited them?
He wouldn't pray – couldn't pray. He refused to. It ached him to.
It would take a miracle for his faith in the deities to be restored.
It would take a calamity for him to ask the heavens for help ever again.
And he didn't plan on either of them.
When faith is lost, hope is lost.
A big thank you to the following for helping me get this chapter out there!
SonadowKokoro100, Chloe Rose, Debora, Lotus Eater, Ivalee, Lee Glerum
You guys are amazing!
