Endings
Shocked, Tooru drops Hajime like an insult and scuttles back like a frightened crab, falling on his ass and bumping his elbow painfully against the leg of the askew table. His heart is rabbiting away in his chest, and he feels dizzy, like the room is spinning, like the world has just shifted beneath his feet. The pain doesn't even register. "Huh? With me?" He asks, bewildered and in disbelief.
Hajime had seemed just as surprised as Tooru that those words had fallen out of his own mouth, but rather than take them back, he gets that mullish, determined look on his face that usually precedes a devastating spike and charges on ahead. "Yes, you," he confirms, staring so intensely at Tooru that he feels like he's the volleyball that strong hand is about to send into the ozone.
A chill goes up his spine. He squashes the urge to move away. "Why?" He wonders instead, unable to comprehend either Hajime's feelings or how they've come to this point. "You know me! You know what I'm like!" He yells, pointing in an accusatory fashion, like some attorney in a courtroom trying to prove his point.
"I don't know!" Hajime admits, annoyed and raising his voice to match Tooru's. "You grew on me like a fungus. Stop trying to dodge the question!"
"You haven't asked me one! I can't answer questions you don't ask me, Iwa-chan!" He crosses his arms and turns his nose away with a pompous sniff.
"Don't act like you don't know," Hajime scoffs. "Do you like me or not!" He demands anyway, and it doesn't even sound like a question.
Tooru glares at him and says, "What is this, an interrogation? Who would agree to date you when it feels like they need a lawyer present?"
"So you don't want to?" Hajime asks, deflating suddenly, like he's just been told his pet fish died.
Flustered, Tooru hastily says, "I never said that! I just don't get why you like me! You could do so much better! Iwa-chan is a Grade-A snack!"
Meanwhile, Tooru is his weird childhood friend who couldn't even beat a bunch of kids in a tournament when he had literal future knowledge that gave him unfair advantage over them. He still cries and hides behind Hajime every time he sees a bug. He won't even go outside onto their balcony if he glimpses a bee because he's afraid of being stung. Up until just yesterday, he genuinely thought filet mignon was fish. His mind apparently equated "filet" with "fish" and refused to consider any alternatives for two lifetimes. Sure, he's good looking, but what else is there?
"If you're about to try and convince me not to love you, I'll punch you," Hajime threatens, incensed, raising a fist.
Tooru blanches. "No! No need for that!" He laughs nervously. "Who am I to question Iwa-chan's tastes?" Even if he definitely still is.
Hajime sighs, the fight going out of him again. "I'm not actually going to hit you," he says, which is objectively a wild fucking thing to say. Tooru squints suspiciously at him. "I'm not! I just hate it when you talk badly about yourself. Self-deprecation isn't a good look on you. I'd take smug, cocky Tooru any day."
"You hit smug, cocky Tooru more than anybody," Tooru accuses, as if he is not talking about an emotional state and instead a separate person or something.
Hajime scowls. "If I didn't, your head would get so inflated, you'd float away. I'm just keeping you here on Earth with the rest of us lowly mortals."
"And now you're insulting me!" Tooru says, throwing his hands in the air. "This is the worst confession, ever, Iwa-chan! Are you even trying?"
"It's not like you're making it easier," Hajime argues. "We could stop talking about this right now if you just answer me!"
Tooru groans and squeezes his head between his hands, thoroughly messing up his carefully styled hair. "Just let me think, okay! I need a moment to think about it!"
Hajime regains some basic decency and acquiesces. "Fine. You've got one minute." He then crosses his arms like some bouncer in a shitty night club.
"You're timing me?" Tooru squawks, outraged.
"If I let you go without resolving this, you'll get all up in your head about it and start avoiding me, and I'll just end up having to corner you again," Hajime explains, expression and tone daring Tooru to argue.
The worst part is that he's absolutely right. Tooru's go-to solution to complicated emotions is to completely ignore them or pretend he doesn't have them. He rarely allows himself moments of emotional vulnerability, and most of those have been due to volleyball. The other times are due to his past life, and he's managed to keep those to one day a year. All of them involved Hajime, however, and a good chunk of them involved Tooru stewing over something until Hajime forced it out of him.
It's their thing. He really can't blame Hajime for forcing him to face things this time, too. Even if it would be easier.
"Ugh, I just told you I didn't think I'd live this long," Tooru whines. "I haven't thought about romance at all."
Hajime's expression darkens. "You said you'd think about it. Stop bitching and think."
Tooru does. He thinks about Iwaizumi Hajime as a person and not through the lens of his childhood best friend (or like. an actual child.)
Objectively, Hajime is handsome. He's got a strong jaw, sharp eyes, and expressive eyebrows that Tooru has grown to appreciate. He's also got broad shoulders and nice hands. Tan skin and the toned body of an athlete. He usually looks pretty fierce, but when he smiles, it transforms his whole face. He smells good, and his hair is surprisingly soft. He has a soothing voice, and Tooru knows from sleepovers that he radiates heat like some kind of human heated blanket.
Just these past few years living together have provided Tooru with countless glimpses of Hajime in a state of undress, even if he hadn't already gotten an eyeful back when they changed in the locker rooms together everyday.
God, Tooru's brain is suddenly filled with collarbones and shoulder blades and that ass. Tooru has worked himself into a jealous fit over Hajime having a better ass than him more than once, although only to himself. Seriously, it's not fair. And now, he might be to touch-
He covers his face with his hands to hide his blush and hopes Hajime doesn't use his mind reading powers on Tooru now. He never, ever, ever wants Hajime to find out and intends to promptly forget all about it, thank you very much!
(He probably won't forget.)
Okay, so! He is definitely attracted to Iwa-chan. That is a thing that he can claim to be definitively true. He's about to fling himself out of the window out of embarrassment, but at least he's figured that much out.
But does he want to date him?
Once he gets the whole attraction thing out of the way, the answer is surprisingly easy. Yes, he does. Hajime is the single person in this entire world who knows every inch of Oikawa Tooru and loves him anyway. Maybe he doesn't know everything - Tooru will be taking his past life to the grave - but he knows enough. He's always been there for Tooru. Iwaizumi Hajime had been a lifeline for him when they were younger, and honestly, that's still the case today. He isn't sure what he would do without him.
He hadn't truly believed he would live to the age of twenty simply because that would mean he had lived as Oikawa Tooru for longer than he had been that other him, and the concept had been too surreal. He couldn't wrap his head around it. But…it's not like he hadn't imagined what his life would be like if he did.
And he realizes now that that ideal future had always included Hajime. Tooru had never considered a life without Hajime, even if normally it would be reasonable to expect that that would change. He doesn't want to part ways and move on if it means he will no longer wake up to the smell of coffee and Hajime in the kitchen, drowsily making him a cup just the way he likes it. Imagining someone else in his place, seeing that sight, has Tooru green with jealousy and gearing for a fight.
Having worked himself into a temper, Tooru whips his head up to glare at Hajime and says, nonsensically, "You're not allowed to make coffee for anyone else!"
"What?" Hajime asks, confused.
"You can only make coffee for me for the rest of your life!" Tooru tells him, seriously. "If you cheat on me, I'll punch you!"
Hajime scowls, uncomprehending. "What are you talking about, you idiot? We're not even together."
Tooru pokes him in the chest, hard. "We are now!" Then, a thought pops into his head. "Have you already made coffee for someone else? Who? Where are they? I just wanna talk!"
"What- So you like me? You want to date me?" Hajime asks, hopeful and happy as he finally deciphers Tooru's meaning. Tooru opens his mouth to continue his probing questions, but Hajime puts a hand over his mouth. "Shut up for a second, I'm trying to process this." He smiles, big and bright and dopey, like he can't help himself.
Tooru's dumb brain stutters to a halt, and he just stares. Without the ignorance to shield him, he is completely unprepared for just how attractive Hajime is.
Then the moment is over, and Hajime is frowning again. "Wait, are you seriously jealous right now? Why?"
Refusing to be embarrassed but not wanting to bring undue scrutiny upon himself, Tooru removes Hajime's hand (but doesn't let it go) and says, "Never mind that! How long have you been in love with me anyway? I only found out that I love you just now."
Hajime flushes a very pretty pink, and Tooru is so distracted he almost misses the answer. "Does it matter?"
"Obviously!" Tooru is suddenly reminded of a question Hajime had asked him that had kickstarted this whole thing. "Were you waiting for me to turn twenty?"
Hajime only flushes harder, but Tooru tangles their fingers together and squeezes his hand.
"Oh my god, Iwa-chan, that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. You just salvaged that terrible confession." He's joking, but there's something tight and hot in his throat, and his eyes begin to water. "Seriously, who knew you could be this sweet? Or this patient? Why have I only witnessed grouchy, impatient Iwa-chan this whole time? I've been robbed! Deceived! Cheated out of an adorable boyfriend!"
His voice cracks embarrassingly on that last word, choked with emotion, and Hajime does not help when he looks at Tooru so fondly and with such gentle eyes. It's like he's really in love with Tooru, or something!
"Idiot," he says, but that's gentle too, and this is the worst. "You're the one who said you wouldn't date."
Tooru covers his face with his other hand. "Stop being so soft and tender, Iwa-chan. I'm gonna die. Then this epic romance will turn into a tragedy, and you know I prefer rom-coms."
Hajime laughs. He pulls Tooru's hand away and leans closer to meet Tooru's blurry glare. "First you complain I'm too violent. Now I'm too soft. Make up your mind, goldilocks." He entangles their fingers with that hand, so now they're knee to knee on their living room floor and holding hands, and Hajime is so close-
Flustered and annoyed, Tooru darts up to kiss him, just because he can tell it's what Hajime is about to do, and he's not about to let Hajime take control. Tooru is the setter!
It's a good kiss. Great, even.
But more importantly-
Tooru breaks the kiss and leers at Hajime smugly, just so he knows who's boss around here. Hajime rolls his eyes and pulls him back in. Tooru lets him since he made his point.
And well. It really was a good kiss.
