Holy heck, it's been a while! I have no excuses other than that life happened and inspiration did not. On the plus side, I did manage to use NaNoWriMo this year to finish both this chapter and the next one, so I'll have that out to you sometime in the next week, should my schedule permit sitting down to do a bit of editing. I promise not to leave you hanging for too long!
For now, enjoy!
Chapter 12: Balancing
Charlie was grinning broadly as he got out of the cruiser. "Bonnie, Jules! Good to see you!"
Bonnie smiled a rich, warm smile, the antithesis of the guarded politeness she'd had with Edythe a moment before. "You too, Charlie. It's been a while."
"It has," Charlie agreed, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Are you just stopping in, or can you stay for the game?"
"I think that's the plan," Jules piped up. "Our TV's on the fritz."
"And of course Jules was keen to see the twins again," Bonnie added. She seemed to be particularly looking at Beau and I thought I saw Jules' cheeks darken slightly.
Charlie laughed. "Well, you're more than welcome. Think you can make dinner stretch, Beau?"
"How do people feel about grilled cheese?" Beau said with a cheeky grin.
There were various noises of agreement from the group, and Charlie started wheeling Bonnie up to the door. He and Beau got her inside with an ease that showed they'd practiced the manoeuvre a lot, then she made a beeline for the living room while Beau headed for the kitchen, Jules on his heels. I hesitated, not wanting to leave Charlie alone with Bonnie in case she said anything, but also knowing it would look strange if I went with the adults instead of my fellow teenagers.
In the end, Beau made the choice for me, calling out for help with a side salad. When I entered the kitchen, I found him buttering a stack of bread on both sides while Jules carefully unwrapped cheese slices.
"Sorry about Mom, by the way," she was saying as I crossed to the cutting board, where my brother had already laid out ingredients and a knife. "I don't know why she gets so bent out of shape about the Cullens."
Beau waved off her concern flippantly. "No worries. So long as she doesn't start talking to Charlie about it again."
Jules shook her head vigorously. "No, no, she won't start that again. She's looking to smooth all that stuff over tonight."
I smiled to myself, feeling just a little triumphant that my assumptions outside had been right.
We chatted amiably about school as we finished the food prep and waited for the grilled cheeses to cook. Beau asked Jules about the car she was apparently building, and Jules lamented not being able to find a part she needed; I didn't understand any of it, and I wasn't sure Beau did either.
The atmosphere over dinner was much the same. We ate in the living room with the game on, and though I was definitely the least invested in the sports of all of us, I still enjoyed spending the time with everyone.
The only hiccup was during a break in the game, when Charlie asked, "Was that Edythe I saw dashing off as I pulled in? What had her in such a rush?"
Bonnie stiffened slightly and I couldn't help tensing in response. Beau, by contrast, was all casual nonchalance as he answered.
"Yeah, they were running late for dinner I think, couldn't stick around to chat."
"Was it one of her siblings driving?"
"Edward," Beau confirmed with a nod.
When I glanced over, Charlie was looking at me and grinning wryly. "Ah, now I think I see. Tell him to slow down a little next time you talk to him, won't you, Bell? Just a smidge too fast for my liking. I hope he doesn't drive like that with you in the car."
"I'll tell him," I said, not touching the last comment. I was fairly sure the getaway driver act earlier was tame compared to Edward's usual driving. I waited for Bonnie to make a comment, but she didn't. Then Jules asked if we were coming back to the beach soon, and the conversation moved on.
The Blacks didn't stay long after the game was over, since it was getting late and everyone had to be up for work and school in the morning. I excused myself from the goodbyes quickly, wanting to get the dishes done so they didn't sit until after dinner the next day. But I did hear the "Take care," that Bonnie offered Beau which had just a bit more weight to it than it needed.
"That was nice," Charlie said with a satisfied sigh as he came back inside. "We should have them over more often."
"Sure," Beau agreed breezily. "As long as no one mentions the C word."
"Beau." Charlie's tone was reproachful.
"You can't deny it, Dad. Things get awkward when the Cullens get brought up, and it's not because of us."
I heard Charlie sigh heavily. I put the last dish on the rack and went to lean in the kitchen entryway, drying my hands on a dish towel.
"Was it really bad before?" I asked tentatively; my dad looked really upset, and I didn't like it, but I couldn't help being curious.
"I've always appreciated Bonnie's advice," Charlie said, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. "She was a godsend when Beau was little, and I did my best to return the favour after Saul passed. But this whole thing with Dr Cullen, and then Edythe... it was so completely out of line, and she wouldn't explain what the problem was, just said the family was dangerous. Well, you know I've never had any trouble from any of them. I just couldn't understand it."
"But it's alright now, right?" I asked. "I mean, tonight was good."
"It was," Charlie agreed, looking happier again. "I don't think it will fully be fixed until she can explain herself properly, but if she's not going to do that then I guess avoiding the subject will have to do. Now, enough about me and my drama." He smiled cheekily. "Bed, both of you."
Beau gave a smart little salute and marched off to his room. I shook my head at him and gave Charlie a hug that he returned slightly awkwardly. "Goodnight, Dad."
"Goodnight, kiddo."
I was halfway up the stairs when a thought occurred to me. "Hey, Dad?"
"Mmm?" He was already on his way back to the living room.
"Edward and I decided not to go to Seattle on Saturday. We're going to keep it a bit closer to home for our first date." So many surreal statements in the span of two short sentences.
"Alright, thanks for letting me know." Charlie looked pleased, and I knew my instincts to keep him in the loop had been a good one. "Any idea what you're doing?"
I shrugged. "I think Edward has plans, but he hasn't told me yet."
"Well, see if you can get him to stick around for dinner. I'll be fishing but I should get back in time to eat and I want to officially meet this boy."
There was a terrifying prospect if ever I'd heard one. Still, I said, "I'll try," before making my escape upstairs.
My room was empty when I got there, but I remembered the promise of 'later' and opened the window, before going to the bathroom and hurrying through my shower. When I got back, Edward was sitting on my bed as if he'd always been there. My face broke into a broad smile and I practically skipped over to sit next to him. He smiled back, crooked and beautiful, the left side of his mouth going up just a little more than the right. He put one arm around my back, very loosely, but with enough pressure that I could feel it... and enjoy it. I carefully laid my head on his shoulder and his arm tightened just a fraction. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments.
"Are you finally out of questions?" I prompted when the quiet started to drag.
Edward chuckled. "Not nearly. I'm just saving some for tomorrow."
"That's not fair!" I protested, sitting back to glare at him. "When is it my turn again?"
"Saturday, I promise," he replied, clearly trying to hold in a full blown laugh. "And I suppose you can have a few now, if you want."
I thought for a moment, then picked one of my more innocuous questions, hoping it would at least make him laugh properly; I loved that sound.
"What's your middle name?"
It worked; a laugh exploded out of him so suddenly I was afraid that it was going to catch Charlie's ear, but he recovered quickly.
"Really? That's what you want to know?"
"For a start." I shrugged. "It's only fair, you know mine."
"Ah yes." He smiled softly. "Isabella Marie."
I'd never loved my full name – neither did Beau, hence why we used them to annoy each other. But the way that Edward's tongue caressed the syllables made me melt. Perhaps it wasn't so bad after all.
"Technically, I have two," Edward said, finally answering my question. "I use my human last name as a middle name now, to keep a connection to that part of my past. So I'm Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."
"Edward Anthony," I repeated softly. "Do you always use that name? I mean, someone has to be paying enough attention to notice the same name popping up in records for over a hundred years."
"Oh, don't worry, we're very careful," He assured me, still half smiling; clearly the conversation was amusing him. "I mix it up every now and again, and I have a wallet full of aliases tucked away in my glove box for emergencies. But using the names we're most comfortable with, our real names I suppose you could call them, is always the easiest for everyone, so I'm generally Edward. It is hard at times to respond appropriately to a name that doesn't feel like yours."
"Was there ever one you really didn't like?" I grinned.
Edward made a face. "The first time I went by Anthony publicly after they'd both joined the family, Rosalie and Eleanor insisted on calling me Tony. Needless to say, I hated it."
I laughed. "You definitely don't look like a Tony."
He chuckled. "Quite."
"So you use a different name every now and then, and no one realises you're still the same person?"
"Pretty much. We move a lot too, and there are some... not precisely legal activities that I probably shouldn't talk about with a police officer's daughter."
I made a show of being highly affronted. "Hey, I'm no snitch, mister!"
"Of course, of course. Still, not something you need to worry about."
"Alright." I wasn't entirely convinced; I couldn't help thinking that 'emergencies' could include a sudden unexpected departure from Forks. But I didn't want to bring that up now, so I asked another question. "Are you always seventeen, wherever you go? That has to get boring."
"Just a little," he agreed with a heavy sigh and a martyred expression. "I've certainly had my fill of high school over the years. But the younger we pretend to be when we start out in a place, the longer we can stay before someone works out that something isn't right about us. There's limits, of course, but we have ways of dressing that can age us up and down as needed."
"Do people figure it out very often?" I couldn't imagine that there was anyone who could fail to notice just how different the Cullens were from... well, everything.
"No, we're very good," Edward said, looking almost proud of himself. "Between all the talents, we can generally anticipate when anyone is getting close and discretely remove ourselves before they actually work out the truth. Besides, 'vampire' is hardly the first thing people think of, even if they do start putting the pieces together. Your brother didn't consider it until it was presented to him by the Black girl, and he was a lot closer to us than most people ever get."
"People usually avoid you." I didn't have to ask; I'd seen it for myself.
He nodded. "Yes, most people's instincts tell them that we're dangerous and they keep their distance without fully understanding why. You and Beau being the obvious exceptions, of course."
"Of course," I agreed, and very ostentatiously closed the last half-inch of space he had left between us so that I was pressed tight against his side. He stiffened ever so slightly, but kept smiling. I put my head back on his shoulder and took a moment to enjoy the closeness; I felt him kiss me on the head like he had the other night, his nose pressed into my hair and the slight expansion of his chest telling me he was breathing in my scent again.
I could feel my eyelids getting heavy – the evening had apparently taken more out of me than I realised – but I didn't want to go to sleep yet. Each time we were together, we got closer, both physically and emotionally, but there was always that tiny half-step back whenever we were apart for a while, that little bit of awkwardness as both of us tried to work out if we were still at the place we had left off. The light of day, while not damaging to him in the traditional vampire way, did seem to make him more cautious with me.
"No more questions?" Edward asked softly, his voice ushering me closer to sleep rather than jarring me out of my drowsiness.
I wanted to say "Not tonight," but what actually came out was just a low, sleepy hum.
He laughed. "Yes, time for bed, I think."
I felt weightless for a moment, before he laid me gently back on my pillow and tucked the covers securely around me, then pressed another soft kiss on my forehead. As he pulled away, I reached out blindly and took hold of a handful of his shirt.
"Stay," I mumbled, hoping it was clear enough that he would understand.
The fabric was gently but firmly extracted from my fingers, only to be replaced with his hand a moment later. The cold, smooth slide of his skin against mine was strangely soothing, the familiar spark of contact zinging through me and giving me just enough energy to open my eyes a crack. His expression was unexpected; where before there had been indulgent amusement, there was now a sadness so deep, so... pained was the only word that could describe it. It was the look of someone who's heart was breaking, and mine ached at seeing it.
"Stay," I repeated with more volume this time, not entirely ashamed of the pleading tone in my voice. I gripped his hand as tightly as I could, knowing I wasn't just talking about tonight anymore.
Edward knelt down and brought our joined hands up to touch my cheek, just the lightest feather-brush of his thumb on the line of my jaw.
"For as long as I can," he said in a rough whisper.
I wanted to argue with him, but my eyelids lost their fight to stay open and consciousness finally deserted me.
When my eyes blinked open again, I was stood in a thick forest. Like my dream almost a week ago, there was a glow coming from between the trees, but this one wasn't the same; it was orange and red, and it flickered and shifted constantly. There was also the sound of a crowd coming from the same direction – angry shouting and the pounding of many feet that made my heart race with fear. I turned away from the glow, running as fast as I could into the dark trees. I ran and ran, somehow never falling, deeper and deeper into the woods, but every time I looked over my shoulder the glow seemed no further away than it had before.
At last I broke the tree line, coming to a startled stop in a wide clearing where a grand old manor house stood, proudly incongruent with its surroundings. I hurried across the grass, realising only then that I was barefoot and wearing a long, wispy white dress that swished against my legs as I moved.
As I reached the wide front steps, the huge wooden door opened and Edward emerged, his pallor more prominent than ever in contrast to his dark black suit. He held out his arms to me and I hurried into them, feeling immediately more at ease as he curled me into his chest and laid a protective hand on the back of my head.
"My love," he murmured, his voice echoing strangely, as if it was bouncing around the inside of my head.
I basked in the feeling of his arms around me, all panic receding for one sweet, perfect moment. Then it surged back up to full strength as the glow also reached the edge of the trees. I turned my head as much as Edward's hold would let me, and almost immediately wished I hadn't. The glow resolved itself into a huge crowd, brandishing flaming torches and marching towards us. The faces were a vague jumble, not one of them distinct or recognisable, and everyone was shouting over one another, a confused mess of noise in which I could only pick out a handful of words – "demons", "tainted" and "destroy" came through the most clearly.
I could feel a low growl building in Edward's chest. He span me around behind his back, interposing himself between me and the crowd.
"Inside, Bella," his strange echoing voice snarled as he released his hold and took on an unmistakable protective stance, slightly crouched, hands out in front of him, with an animal edge that sent a shiver up my spine.
"No!" I yelled, and found that my voice echoed too.
I stepped up to his side and sank into my own odd, animalistic crouch, my own snarl echoing from my bared teeth as the shouting, stamping, burning mob descended on us.
I jolted upright in my bed, my heart hammering in my chest. I could feel that I was drenched in sweat as my eyes darted wildly around the room, holding on the clock long enough to see that it was just after 4:30 in the morning. The room was dark, but I could tell quickly that I was alone; there was a feeling deep in the pit of my stomach that I was starting to recognise as my physical reaction to Edward's absence. It felt more acute somehow after the nightmare. My dreams generally deserted me after I woke up, refusing to linger even when I sometimes wanted them to. This one, however, seemed determined to stick around. As I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep, I could still feel the fear and panic of my frantic run through the woods, and the overwhelming urge to protect Edward from the hostile mob. More unsettling was the very final moment of the dream, the ferocious noise that had vibrated through my chest, the similarity between my stance and his, the certainty, however fleeting, that I would and could do anything to defend him. The more I thought about it, the more I was certain that my dream self had been a vampire.
Then came the problem of unpacking what exactly that meant. The dream had been a nightmare, unquestionably. I'd been scared and panicking, and the violence of the last moments had been disconcerting and uncomfortable. Yet I also couldn't deny that there was a certain satisfaction in the idea of standing shoulder to shoulder with Edward, defending him from danger as he defended me – no longer just protection, but partnership, teamwork, equality. To be Edward's equal... now that would be an experience. And the longer I contemplated it, the more I found it was something I wanted. Perhaps too much.
Sleep was tugging at my eyelids again, but my rest was fitful at best. I didn't have any more dreams, but I was unsettled and I still felt exhausted when my alarm finally pulled me fully into the land of the living. I yawned my way sluggishly through my morning routine, deflecting more than a few teasing comments from Beau. Charlie watched me with a note of concern and gently chastised me for not getting to bed sooner. I accepted his words with a nod, not bothering to try for an excuse or explanation – no way was I telling either of them about that dream. The details of it were starting to get fuzzy, but the core images – and more importantly, the feelings – still lingered.
After breakfast, I began to feel a bit more human, but I was still stifling a yawn as Beau and I left the house just after Charlie. He'd been gone less than a minute, but Edward and Edythe were already waiting for us, just like the last two days. It was still amazing to me how much my mood improved just from seeing him. Last night's nightmare and the thoughts that had followed it suddenly seemed less important now that he was here in person again.
Our greetings were brief but cheerful as we all climbed quickly into the cars and set off for school. My lifted spirits unfortunately didn't translate to higher energy levels, and I was still yawning. I did my best to hide it, but Edward noticed immediately.
"I'm sorry," he said, the picture of guilt. "I kept you up too late, didn't I?"
"No!" I objected, perhaps too fervently. "Not at all, I wanted to stay up. I just didn't sleep very well after you left, that's all."
He continued looking concerned, and I could still see the sad tilt to his eyes that said he felt it was his fault. "Did something disturb you?"
Part of me didn't want to tell him, part wanted to spill it all and have him comfort me over it, and yet a third part argued that it was likely to spark a conversation that was in no way appropriate to be having in his car on the way to school. I compromised between all three parts by telling a careful half-truth. "Just a bad dream. I don't even remember all of it, but it woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep properly."
"What do you remember?" he pressed. "Perhaps I can help you interpret it."
I hesitated, then decided that the broad strokes couldn't hurt. "I was running through the woods, people were chasing me, I think. Then I found you and you protected me."
Despite all my efforts, he was frowning deeply now. "Who was chasing you?"
I shrugged. "It was a big crowd, I couldn't see any of their faces."
Edward considered this all very carefully, before he asked, "Do you have dreams like this a lot?"
"Nightmares about angry mobs? No, I can't say that's a regular occurrence." I tried to smile and make it a joke, but it wasn't working; he still looked far too sombre for my liking. I decided to sacrifice a sliver of my dignity in the hope of cheering him up a little. "I dream about you pretty often though."
Victory at last – his frown smoothed and the side of his mouth raised in a smile. "I gathered as much." He saw my raised eyebrows and elaborated. "From things I've overheard, during my night-time visits in particular."
My cheeks blazed red as I realised what he was getting at. "My sleep talking. Oh god, I forgot you'd heard that."
Edward chuckled, not unkind, just amused. "It isn't that bad, really. You say my name from time to time, but mostly you talk about home and your mother. Which reminds me..."
From there he launched back into the unending stream of questions, once again interrupted only by the inconvenience of us both needing to go to class. Today he was interested in people, asking about Renée and Phil, my friends from Phoenix (of which there weren't any worth mentioning) and my relationship with Beau and Charlie. He seemed aghast when he asked about boys I'd dated and, though I turned scarlet at the question, I admitted that there hadn't been any.
"There wasn't anybody you were ever interested in?" he said, his tone incredulous.
We were at lunch by this point, surrounded by the buzz of the cafeteria, so I tried to keep an air of casual nonchalance as I said, "Not in Phoenix."
That gave him pause for thought, and I took the opportunity to finish the sandwich I'd been working on in between his questions for the last ten minutes. Edward was quiet for so long this time that I also managed to unwrap my granola bar and even get a bite in. Eventually, I broke the silence.
"Does that bother you? Clearly I'm no expert, but I thought most people didn't want to hear about their partner's former love interests." I certainly didn't; who knew what stunning vampire girls might be lurking in his dating history, probably still waiting to pounce on him again.
Edward hummed in distracted agreement, still frowning. "Yes, that's true enough. It just feels... wrong somehow, that I'm your first. Not to mention mildly impossible given the amount of interest you get from practically every male in this building."
I scoffed, which at least made him smile again, though it wasn't a happy look.
"Truly," he insisted. "Tyler is far from alone, trust me."
"Sure," I said, still not fully believing him.
We lapsed into quiet again. I finished my granola bar and he pushed food around his tray, pulling apart his sandwich and toying with a piece. I wondered if it really looked like he was eating to an outside observer; I was paying far too close attention to be fooled. He noticed me watching, apparently misinterpreted my interest and offered me his untouched apple. Rather than make us both uncomfortable by refusing, I took it and started eating. He smiled slightly, then got sad again.
"You're going to need to go home with Beau this afternoon," he admitted, almost reluctantly.
"Oh?" I was disappointed, but tried not to let it show too much.
"I'm going hunting with Edythe and Alice tonight. We're leaving after lunch. I'm sorry, I should have mentioned it sooner."
I shook my head at him, making my smile as reassuring as I could. "It's okay, I'm a big girl, I can handle sudden changes of plan. And a car ride with my brother." I turned the smile into a cheeky grin. "Honestly, I've spent so much time with you this week, he probably misses me."
I'd meant it as a joke, but he took it very seriously. "Yes, I know I've been monopolising your time in an unforgivable way. Perhaps we all ought to spend more time together, we could make tomorrow a double date."
"No!" I protested, startling him slightly. "I already told you, I want us to be alone tomorrow. I spend plenty of time with Beau, and there will be days we can double up and go out as a group, but this is just for us, okay?"
Edward still didn't look happy. "You shouldn't be so eager to be alone with me, Bella. It truly isn't safe." His expression turned earnest and sincere. "It isn't too late to cancel completely."
I didn't have to think about that for more than half a second. "No, I can't. And more to the point, I don't want to."
He sighed heavily, defeated for now. "Well, at least your father and brother both know who you'll be with. Someone can make the proper accusations if you don't come home."
We were spiralling into places that I did not want to go and I didn't know how to get back to our comfortable jokes again. I reached out my hand, laying it open and inviting on the table. He looked hesitant, but after a moment he placed his hand loosely over mine.
"That won't happen," I said, injecting every ounce of belief I had into the statement. "We're going to spend our day doing whatever it is you have planned, I'm going to ask all the questions you haven't given me room to ask in the last few days..." I grinned, showing him I was mostly joking. "And then we'll go back to my house so you can get a formal introduction to Charlie and pretend to eat dinner with us. The only threat to my life will be the high likelihood that I die of embarrassment when my dad starts telling stories and showing you old pictures. Alright?"
His smile was small, but it was there, and that was a victory in my book. "Yes ma'am."
A wind chime trill of a giggle made me jump slightly in my seat. Alice had appeared apparently out of nowhere and was stood behind Edward's shoulder. She really was a tiny little thing, shorter than me if I had to guess – hard to tell while I was sat down – with spiky black hair in an artfully messy sort of style. She was dressed impeccably and had the grace of a dancer even in stillness.
"Alice," Edward said by way of a greeting, his eyes still fixed on me.
"Hello Edward." Like her laugh, Alice's voice was a sweet soprano, ringing with that same honeyed musical quality as her siblings.
Edward waved a lazy hand between the two of us. "Alice, Bella. Bella, Alice."
"Hi," I said, trying not to seem too nervous. "Nice to meet you."
"You too, finally," Alice replied, giving her brother a little shove in the shoulder. In return, Edward turned towards her at last with a dour look that she completely ignored, looking past both of us with a bright smile. "Hey, Beau, long time no see."
I looked up, following her gaze to find my brother and Edythe approaching our table hand in hand. Beau was grinning, matching Alice's cheerful demeanour; clearly they had a good relationship, despite the coldness he experienced from the others.
"It can't have been more than two weeks, Alice," Edythe said, one eyebrow raised and her own indulgent smile firmly in place. "You've hardly been deprived."
Alice shrugged one shoulder. "What can I say, your cuteness is addictive, I need my regular fix. Are we ready to go?"
Edward nodded and stood up.
I stood too. "What time should I be ready for tomorrow?"
"That depends. I assume we'll be coming together." He looked at Edythe, who nodded. "It's Saturday, wouldn't the two of you like to sleep in?"
Beau and I took one look at each other and then responded in unison, "Nope."
Alice laughed again. "Okay, now that's cute. I could get used to this twin thing."
"Glad we amuse you," Beau quipped, before leaning down to kiss Edythe goodbye. "Have fun, all of you."
I wrinkled my nose. "Is that the right sentiment?"
Alice shrugged delicately. "It works as well as anything else, I suppose."
"I'll see you at the usual time tomorrow then. Try not to have any major disasters between now and then." Edward said, his eyes burning into mine.
I tried to give him a withering look, but the intensity of his stare threw me somewhat and my answering, "I'll do my best," was a little more genuine than I wanted it to be.
Seeming satisfied, Edward turned to leave, but Alice took hold of his arm. It was like when Edythe had blocked him into my room the other night; no one would ever believe that someone her size could overpower him, yet it was quite clear that she was holding him in place.
"Now, brother," she said, her voice sweet but with an edge of what I could only describe as teasing menace. "Surely Bella deserves a proper goodbye too."
Her insinuation was unmistakable, and we all reacted: Edythe giggled, Beau made a dramatic gagging noise, and I turned bright red. Edward gave both his sisters an irritated look but, before I could reassure him that it was fine and he could just go, he stepped in closer so that we were almost toe to toe. My breath caught and I went utterly still. Then he gently hooked his little finger around mine, a small subtle hold mostly hidden between our bodies. I smiled as I squeezed his finger; he returned both the smile and the squeeze, before bringing our joined hands up and brushing the softest of kisses on my knuckles, maintaining eye contact the entire time.
"Goodbye, Bella," he murmured, his voice like silk.
"Bye," I replied, barely more than a breath.
After a moment that felt a lot longer than it probably was, Edward finally released both my hand and eyes and began determinedly walking away, heading for the nearest exit. His sisters fell smoothly into step behind him; Edythe said something to Alice that was too fast and quiet for me to hear across the distance opening up between us, and they both started laughing. Edward pointedly ignored them.
Beau nudged me with his elbow, and it was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water over my head. The rest of the world, which had been distant, lost in a strange haze for most of the day, suddenly slammed back into my awareness. I realised that everything that had just happened had taken place in the middle of the crowded cafeteria and that there were more than a few curious, shocked or downright incredulous looks being levelled at me. I cringed hard and looked around for an escape.
My brother, sensitive to my needs for once, put a hand gently on my back. "Walk you to class?"
I gave him a sceptical look. "Aren't you headed in the other direction? You'll be late."
He waved off my concern. "Nah, we're both fine on time. C'mon."
We left the cafeteria, Beau ignoring the staring eyes with a casual deliberateness that I tried (and failed) to copy.
"Things okay with you two?" he asked nonchalantly once we were outside and afforded some privacy by the relative sparsity of other students.
I shrugged. "I think so. We're getting closer, but there's still moments..."
Beau gave a knowing nod. "It still feels like he's saying goodbye all the time."
I hummed in agreement, then added, "It's a bit more than that though. Whenever things go wrong, even a little bit, he always finds a way to make it his fault, or he assumes it's something he's done that caused it. Like this morning, when I was tired. I had a bad dream that woke me up, but he automatically thought I hadn't gone to sleep early enough because I was spending time with him. Then he was asking me about the dream, like he wanted to fix it somehow... I don't know, it's like he thinks he has control over everything."
Beau was nodding along through my whole little vent, completely focused on absorbing what I was saying; now he turned extra serious. "Just as long as he doesn't think he gets to control you. Keep holding your ground and telling him what's what."
I gave him a look. "You make it sound like we're fighting, I don't want to do that."
"I wouldn't call it fighting, just standing up for yourself, for what you think is right. Edward's a great guy and he really cares about you, but... well, you've already seen how protective he can get. From time to time that's bound to translate into stepping over your decisions because he thinks his choice is what's best for you."
That made a weird kind of sense. I knew I was prying, but I couldn't help asking, "Does that happen with you and Edythe?"
He smirked and shook his head. "Not often. But it's a bit different for us."
"How so?"
"Well, the two of them both have abilities that essentially let them peer into people's thoughts, right? Quite literally in Edward's case. That shapes the way they look at the world, and it's a tool that they use everyday of their lives. When Edythe makes a decision, she generally knows what I want because she can sense it, and she uses that knowledge to help guide her. She's learned that if she doesn't know for sure, it's always worth asking me and checking in, because it could change the decision she makes. Edward would do the same thing with your thoughts, except-"
"Except he can't hear them," I finished for him. "I see your point. He has to ask if he wants to know what I think about something."
"Exactly. And if he's in overprotective mode, he might not think to do that. Plus, Edythe and I know each other so well now, we don't have to have those conversations as often, she just knows. But Edward doesn't know you well enough to make those kinds of educated guesses yet."
We'd reached the building for my Biology class by now and Beau stopped, clearly not planning to follow me all the way to the classroom. His expression was deadly serious – an unusual state for my brother – as he made his final pronouncement.
"Just make sure he knows you won't put up with him steamrolling you, okay? You make the decisions about your life, and you've got to speak up or he won't know what you want."
Right now I wanted to make a joke and lighten the mood, but the utter sincerity on Beau's face told me this was something he wanted me to take to heart. "I know. I will, I promise."
Beau nodded, seemingly satisfied. "Good. See you in Gym then."
"See you." He had started to walk away, when a thought occurred to me. "Oh, and I'll drive later, since I've had a few days off."
He gave me a thumbs up over his shoulder, still striding across campus. I entered the building with a smile on my face, but my mood gradually shifted as I got settled and the lesson started. There were 15 minutes of the movie left to watch, but I still couldn't have told you what it was about, or anything from the rest of class. Even when not sat directly next to me, Edward was a continuous distraction. I wondered what he was doing, where he had gone, what he was hunting down right at this moment. Would they have even made it out yet? Did they have to go home and change clothes first? What might they wear? I'd always got the impression that hunting involved a good deal of bulky camo fabric, but I couldn't imagine any of the unfailingly graceful and stylish Cullens in that kind of getup. I felt again that urge to see what hunting was like for them, but I also remembered Edward's reaction when I had suggested watching them – it wasn't going to happen. At least, not while I was human. My dream from last night played through my head again, and though the fear was still there, I was increasingly convinced that it had nothing to do with the idea of being a vampire.
I added a new question to my ever-growing list.
The rest of Biology and Gym passed in a haze that made them seem to take much less time than usual as my brain stayed focused on what I might be expecting tomorrow. I really had no clues, so my speculation quickly went into the realms of wild fantasy, but it kept me occupied and out of the way as McKayla continued to dominate the badminton court. She had a particularly anticipatory smile on her face as we walked back towards the locker rooms at the end of class.
"Looking forward to Seattle tomorrow?" she said, her tone heavy with implication.
I half-smiled and shook my head. "We decided Seattle was a bit too far to go for the first date. We're staying in town, I think, Edward's made plans." My heart did an excited little jump again. It still amazed me how thrilling it was to think of him making plans that included me, of being able to refer to the two of us as 'we'.
McKayla looked intrigued. "So you have no idea what you're doing? He's not dropped any hints?"
I shrugged. "No, nothing. Something that's just us, but I asked for that so it could still be almost anything."
"Wow." She thought for a moment, then grabbed my arm excitedly. "Do you think he's going to take you to meet his family?"
"Maybe. At this point it's only his dad I haven't met. And I haven't had a proper introduction to his siblings other than Edythe and Alice."
McKayla shook her head, a slightly awed expression. "I don't know how you and your brother do it. I would be, like, so intimidated if I was with all of them at once."
I smiled. "Who says I'm not intimidated?"
She giggled and gave my arm a weird half-hug. "You'll be fine. Edward's clearly crazy about you, the others won't be far behind. Besides, I heard Mr Cullen is really nice, so you shouldn't have any trouble there."
"Thanks, Kay. Hey, have a good time at the dance."
She grinned. "Oh, I will. And I want to hear all about your day as soon as possible, okay? Call me Sunday."
I nodded in agreement and went to get changed. It felt so wonderfully normal, to be chatting with a friend about a cute boy, planning a gossip session to share details. I'd never thought of myself as one of those girls, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to share even half the truth with McKayla, but it was nice to have the option. It was beginning to feel like my relationship with Edward was completely detached from reality, and it was comforting to be reminded that that wasn't the case, that whatever impossible insanity was in the mix, we were in essence just a boy and a girl in the first heady days of high school romance. Although I wasn't sure Edward would be so quick to see it that way.
Beau was waiting for me outside the Gym building and we fell into step beside each other in a comfortable silence. He passed me the keys and I went to climb into the driver's side, pausing when I saw two neatly folded pieces of paper sitting on our seats. Our names were written on the outside and the one addressed to me was in front of the steering wheel. Beau had already snatched his up and was unfolding it with a smitten smile as he plonked down in his seat. I followed suit, carefully opening the note to find two words in Edward's elegant calligraphy.
Be safe.
I wondered for half a second how they knew which seats we would sit in, but then I guessed that the answer probably involved Alice's fortune telling powers and didn't give it another thought.
The roar of the truck engine starting up made me physically jump; Beau cracked up laughing and I chuckled along even as my cheeks turned pink.
"Guess you've grown accustomed to that smooth Volvo engine, huh?" Beau commented as his laughter subsided.
"Guess so," I agreed. "Think I remember how to drive this beast?"
That made him laugh again and he made a show of watching me closely the whole way home. The mock seriousness of his expression was spoiled by the fact that both of us kept laughing whenever we made eye contact.
Our evening was an ordinary, simple affair. We both got some schoolwork done in our rooms, then I put together a lasagne for dinner. Charlie seemed to be in a quiet, contemplative mood – or perhaps he just really enjoyed the food, it was hard to tell. He wished us both a good day as we went off to our rooms at bedtime, since he'd be up and gone early the next day for his fishing trip.
I got a little nervous as I went to bed, afraid that the nightmare would come back again. I was also jumpy and hyped up for tomorrow, and a part of me wondered if I would even be able to sleep at all. A thought had been nagging at me all evening, that perhaps the faith I had in Edward's ability to keep from hurting me really was misplaced. He always seemed so certain that he was going to lose control, that it was inevitable he would cause me some kind of harm. Surely he knew himself the best; after a hundred years of life, how could he not be the best judge of his own character? But I kept coming back to what I'd said to him a few nights back, on his first visit to my room. I did believe what I'd told him, that the part of him that wanted to hurt me was going to lose the battle with the part that didn't, that I would always be safe with him. I took his note out of the drawer in my bedside table where I'd stashed it for safekeeping, and carefully traced each letter with my fingertip. He wanted me to be safe. I had to believe he would be able to help me keep that promise. And besides, it didn't make a difference. I wasn't going anywhere.
Still, a very small voice in the back of my head whispered that it would probably hurt a lot, if things did go… badly.
I picked up my Austen collection and started reading in an effort to drown the voice out, but within a few pages I knew it wasn't working. I was too hyped up to sleep, and being exhausted and out of it was not going to make tomorrow any easier. I made a probably not very sensible decision and crept to the bathroom to take a dose of the cold medicine in the cabinet – the one that I knew from experience would knock me out for eight hours solid. There was a Christmas about four years ago that I had almost no memory of because I'd woken up with a head cold and Charlie had dosed me up with this stuff; Beau still teased me about it whenever I got sick.
As I waited for it to kick in, I braided my slightly damp hair in the hope that it would have a nice wave to it in the morning, then spent some time going through my closet and picking out an outfit. Even when I was satisfied that I was prepared for tomorrow, I still felt twitchy, so I put on my CD of Chopin's nocturnes on low volume and lay down in bed. I went through a relaxation technique that I vaguely remembered learning at a yoga class Renée had dragged me to a few years back; I focused on each body part individually, loosening each muscle as I breathed slowly and deeply. Somewhere along the way, the meds took hold, and I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I woke up early Saturday morning, feeling much more rested than the day before. It wasn't as bright out as the previous weekend; there was a veil of clouds across the sky keeping the sun at bay. Still, I could tell pretty quickly that the cover wasn't going to last, and the sunny day that Edward had promised would be coming to pass. Charlie's cruiser was already gone, as expected; when I'd finished fussing with my hair and clothes, nervous energy building back up again as I made sure my collar was flat and that the tan sweater sat right over the top of my blouse and jeans, Beau was already in the kitchen getting breakfast organised. He was relaxed and calm, of course – why wouldn't he be? This was an ordinary weekend for him, not a monumental step in the evolution of a still fragile new relationship. He watched my twitchy hands with a knowing smile but thankfully didn't comment. I didn't really taste any of my cereal and hurried to clean both our dishes after we were done, my eyes continually straying to the clock. I'd just finished brushing my teeth and was on my way back downstairs when a knock at the door made me stop dead, my heart racing in contrast to the utter stillness of the rest of me. Beau, who was just coming through the archway from the living room, saw me and smirked.
"Are you going to get it or shall I?" he asked.
"I've got it," I replied, aiming for calm but knowing I wasn't fooling him. The lock on the door seemed to be particularly stubborn this morning, but I eventually got it sorted and yanked the door open. It was almost instant relief when I saw him, as that anxious pit in my stomach disappeared; I truly relaxed for the first time since he'd left at lunch the day before and smiled a genuine, easy smile. Edward and Edythe stood side by side on the front porch; she was looking somewhat smug and triumphant, while he was wary and sombre. There was a slightly awkward moment where we all regarded each other, no one saying anything, then Edythe started laughing.
"What is it?" I asked, glancing down at myself. Was there something wrong with my outfit?
Edythe calmed down and gestured between Edward and I. "You match."
I'd been distracted – as usual – by Edward's face, but when I looked at his clothes I realised he was also wearing a tan sweater over a white collared shirt and jeans. I was fairly sure he wore it a bit better than I did – he looked like he'd just stepped off a runway. Happily though, his sister's observation had put a smile on his face, which was a distinct improvement.
"Barf," Beau commented from the hallway as Edythe slipped around me to greet him. "God, you're one of those couples."
I gave him a look over my shoulder, doing my best to ignore the reaction of my heart to the word 'couple' and hoping Edward would do the same. Edythe's outfit was similar to her brother's, but her sweater was moss green and fit in that baggy, slouchy style with an open neck that hung off one shoulder, showing off that she had a white tank top on underneath. Beau was in a plain grey t-shirt and his favourite black bomber jacket. While their clothing didn't match, there was a very complimentary look to the pair of them together. Beau leaned down to kiss Edythe hello and I felt compelled to look away, as usual.
"Good morning," I said to Edward, feeling a little shy all of a sudden.
"Good morning," he replied, still smiling. "Did you sleep better last night?"
I nodded, deciding not to mention the cold meds. "Much better, thank you."
"Well, no sense in dawdling," Edythe said brightly after Beau released her. "Come along, my love, let's go and make the most of the day."
She grabbed Beau's hand and moved to pull him through the still open door, but Edward stepped fully inside, shaking his head and clearly meaning to block her path.
"No, no, no, you don't get to just rush out of here and get there first. We have to resolve this properly."
Edythe's eyes narrowed and she let go of Beau to put her hands on her hips. "I have an easy resolution, brother. Give. In."
He squared up against her. "No. It's my turn."
"Beau hasn't been in ages."
"Bella's never been at all."
"Hey," Beau interrupted, hands up in a surrender motion. "Don't bring us into this... whatever it is."
"Yeah, what are we talking about?" I asked.
Edythe sighed heavily, the picture of a put-upon sibling who wasn't getting their way. "There's a place that we both like to go to when the weather is nice, and we can't agree on who gets to go today."
I couldn't help smiling just a little bit; it was such a normal problem, so... human, in a way, despite Edward's claim that they didn't have the same sort of relationship after so long.
"What about leaving it to chance?" Beau suggested. "Flip a coin or play rock, paper, scissors for it."
Both Cullens gave a short, sharp laugh – not unkind, just amused.
"He can read my move out of my head," Edythe pointed out. "So any game based on choice is out."
"And I've seen her rig a coin toss," Edward added. "It's easy if you know how."
"We could do it," I suggested. "No undue influence over here."
Beau gave me a sceptical look. "Don't forget, sis, Edward may not be able to read your mind, but I can."
I gave him my best 'don't be ridiculous' look and held out my hands, clenched fist resting on open palm. "No, you can't. Come on, let's play."
He grumbled something that sounded like "You're no fun," but conceded and got into position. Edward was watching us with a somewhat incredulous look; Edythe looked like she was about to start laughing again.
"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot," we chanted.
I smiled triumphantly as I wrapped my paper around his rock. "I win!"
Beau made a sour face, but quickly shifted to smiling again as he shook off my hold. "Good job, little sister."
"Two minutes," I griped, shoving him gently in the arm.
Edward was smiling again, a proper smile this time; I thought I even saw a note of pride in his eyes and felt my cheeks turn pink in response.
Edythe gave a heavy, dramatic sigh. "Alright, brother, I suppose you get your way."
"It's only fair," Edward said, the picture of calm and reasonable now. "You do get to drive your own car."
His sister's look turned devilish. "Ah yes, you have the joy of the beast today. Definitely fair."
"Leave my car alone, you speed demons," Beau complained without any real anger.
We made our way down the drive to our respective vehicles; Edythe had that uncharacteristic skip in her step again, while her brother looked like someone had just given him a life sentence in prison.
"It's not that bad," I insisted as we climbed into the truck. He didn't look even slightly convinced.
Edythe's white car was already pulling away as I got the key in the ignition and did my customary few pumps of the clutch to wake up the gear box. I waved to the both of them before they whizzed off, heading towards the highway.
"Where are we headed?" I asked Edward once he seemed to be situated.
"Don't forget your seat belt," he said by way of reply, eying the belt with a degree of censure; clearly he didn't like that I hadn't put it on already. I noted that he hadn't even reached for his.
I rolled my eyes at him but dutifully buckled up. "Well?"
"Get on the one-oh-one going north," was his succinct instruction. "I'll let you know when to turn."
"Alright," I muttered with a small shrug. "Back to being cryptic, I see."
He had the decency to look guilty. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be. But directions really are the best way to get there, you wouldn't know where to go even if I told you."
That made sense; I put the car in gear and pulled away, following his directive.
Driving with Edward in the passenger seat was a very different experience to being in his car while he drove. I hadn't been so hyper aware of my driving since I passed my test and got my license, and I found myself being as cautious as New Driver Bella for the first time in quite a while.
Of course, Edward noticed. "I understand you might be trying not to wake people, but I think that may be a lost cause with this monstrosity. You could drive a little faster without upsetting anyone."
"You really have it out for the poor beast, don't you?" I asked, somewhat exasperated.
"It's cruel, honestly," he said, a sardonic smile beginning to creep onto his lips. "Something this old should have been put out of its misery years ago."
I refrained from mentioning the engine refit, not wanting to bring Jules into the conversation; I still wasn't certain that I hadn't got her in a lot of trouble by revealing that she'd helped me figure out the Cullens' secret. "Hey, without cars like this, that flashy little collection that apparently lives in your garage wouldn't exist. Respect the evolutionary process."
That made him chuckle. "You think you've seen the flashy cars? Wait until I have an excuse to let the Vanquish stretch its legs."
"Should I know what that means?"
He full on laughed at that, and I couldn't help smiling back. Off to a good start; here's hoping I could keep it up all day.
We were passing through the town limits by this point, the greenery around us getting a lot less manicured and a lot more wild as we entered the woods properly. He instructed me to turn onto the one-ten as we reached the junction and I obeyed silently.
"Now just keep going until the road stops."
I glanced over for half a second. "Is that where we're going?"
"Not quite." His smile was almost scheming now. "That's just as far as we can drive. The next part will have to be on foot."
"We're hiking?" My nerves kicked into overdrive. Loose stones, stray branches, decidedly less solid ground than the pavements around school, which I already tripped over with embarrassing regularity – the hazards were numerous. I remembered the walks to and from the tide pools at La Push; I'd managed to avoid falling that day, but only barely. This was going to be a disaster.
Edward seemed to sense my unease – or maybe he heard my heart start to speed up. "Don't worry, it's only about five miles from the trail head."
Though he'd meant it to be comforting, it had the exact opposite effect. I focused on driving and not letting my building panic show on my face.
It was getting on for mid-morning by the time we reached the end of the pavement. The blacktop thinned out and trailed off into a small open patch of dirt surrounded by a semi-circle of fairly dense woodland; the tiny trail entrance was the only break in the wall of foliage. I pulled the truck to a stop in the dirt and climbed out. Though the sky was still shaded with clouds, it was already noticeably brighter and a good deal warmer than it had been when we left the house. I took off my sweater and tied it around my waist, as much in anticipation of what was to come than any immediate need to cool down; apart from anything else, a five mile hike in this temperature was going to get sweaty if I wasn't careful. When Edward came around the front of the truck, I saw he'd also removed his sweater, and rolled the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows as well. The top button was undone, showing of the smooth curve of his throat and just the hint of his collarbone. The shirt was more fitted than anything I'd seen him wear before, and without the layers required to blend in to the Forks High masses, it was easier to see just how well defined his muscles were, despite his slender frame. I couldn't help making comparisons, our matching outfits seeming now to unfairly highlight just how much we didn't match up in every other way.
"This way," Edward said, heading off into the woods very much not in the direction of the marked trail. He took two steps, then turned, obviously hearing that I wasn't following. Something in my expression upset him, because a blink of an eye later he was standing next to me, concern farrowing his brow and a tentative hand reaching out for mine. "What's wrong?"
I took his hand, as much to settle myself as to reassure him. "I'm not a great hiker at the best of times, and if we're not taking the trail..." My voice faded out and I bit my lip.
His expression changed to a soft, understanding smile. "I'll help you. We'll make sure you get home in one piece."
I couldn't be absolutely sure, but I felt like there was enough extra note of sincerity in his voice when he talked about getting me home. Was he finally believing that today wasn't going to end in my death?
Edward tugged gently on my hand, an invitation rather than an instruction, and I happily followed him into the unmarked and untamed part of the forest. It was slow-going, as I had known it would be, but not as difficult as I'd thought. The route he led us on went pretty much straight through the undergrowth, but it was also basically flat all the way. Though the hazards I had been expecting abounded, Edward's hand was always firm in mine, and I barely stumbled the entire time. He let go only to hold my arm more securely as he helped me climb over logs and rocks, or to hold back a particularly stubborn tree branch, fern frond, or curtain of hanging moss. Each time he reached to take back my hand, it was cautious, questioning; he always waited for me to put my hand in his, he never seemed confident that he could just take it. I tried to hold it more firmly to reassure him that, yes, it was his to hold.
He asked me odd random questions that he hadn't gotten to over the last few days; I bit my tongue to keep from reminding him that it was my day again, and told him about my old teachers back in Phoenix, my hopeless failures at keeping either pets or plants alive for more than a few weeks, and my seventeen fairly uneventful birthdays. He still seemed enraptured by all the mundanity, and though it wasn't making any more sense to me than it had every other time he'd treated an apparently trivial question like the most serious matter of national security, I happily told him. While he was interested, he was here, and I would take advantage of every moment that that was true. I spent a good ten minutes entertaining him with the story of my tenth birthday, when Beau and Charlie had arranged to come and visit seeing as it fell on a Saturday that year. They'd colluded with Renée to keep it a secret, and Beau had been so excited to surprise me by showing up at my modest little birthday dinner at a local restaurant – no party, partly because we couldn't really afford it but mainly because I didn't have enough friends to make it worth the trouble. Unfortunately, Charlie had left a message on our answering machine confirming their arrival time on a day when I made it back to the house first; I'd seen the blinking light and played the message in case it was something important and the whole thing was blown. I'd still enjoyed myself, but my brother had been very disappointed and vowed to one day give me the birthday surprise I was owed.
"And did he?" Edward asked, an amused tilt to his head and his smile.
I grinned. "Not yet. But we haven't spent a birthday together since then, so he hasn't had a chance."
The tilt turned to something more thoughtful. "Will he have a chance this year, do you think?"
I heard the question behind the question – would I still be here come September? I felt myself turning pink as I answered. "I hope so. At least, I hope we get to spend the day together again. That would be nice."
"You don't like surprises," he deduced, his pensive look switching back to a knowing grin.
"Not so much," I agreed. "Speaking of surprises, are we almost there?"
We'd been going for most of the morning by this point, and though the sky had been gradually lightening for several hours, there had been a distinct shift in the colours filtering down through the trees that told me the sun had come out fully some time in the last thirty minutes or so.
"Almost," Edward said, pointing ahead of us with his free hand. "Can you see that patch of bright light up ahead?"
I squinted. "Should I?"
He laughed. "Well, it might be a little soon for human eyes. Not much longer, I promise."
He was right; after another hundred yards or so, I could see the space ahead getting lighter, losing the filter of green that had surrounded us all morning. Edward had been leading ever so slightly up to this point, but now I eagerly pulled ahead and he let me tow him along, seeming almost reluctant to get to whatever was ahead. I stopped and looked back, feeling my forehead crease in a frown.
"Go on," he encouraged, letting go of my hand and gesturing for me to keep going. "I just… need a moment. I'm right behind you."
I turned around and kept walking, unable to hear his footfalls but feeling his presence behind me like an electric charge, even though our skin no longer touched.
I reached the light and stepped through the last layer of the forest into quite possibly the most beautiful place I had ever seen. It was a bubble of space within the dense woodland, small but almost perfectly circular, edged on all sides by tall old oaks and hemlock trees. In the centre was a wildflower meadow; ankle-high grass wafted in the gentle breeze that had begun to blow, peppered with what seemed like thousands of tiny flowers in shades of yellow, white and purple. There was a stream chattering away somewhere just out of sight, and the bright sunlight filling the space was warm and comforting. I took slow steps forward until I was standing in the dead centre of the space, looking all around as I tried to take in as much as possible. I turned around to find where Edward had gotten to and found he wasn't right behind me as he had been all the way through the trees. In fact, it took me a moment before I found him, still standing in the shadow of the spreading branches, watching me intently. This far away, I couldn't quite read the emotion in his eyes, but his expression seemed guarded again all of a sudden. The forest hadn't seemed that dark as we walked through it, but now that I was stood in the sun, it was almost black by comparison, making it even more difficult to see him. I didn't like that, both the lack of ability to see his face and the fact that me in bright sun and him in darkness was a contrast that felt a little bit too on the nose right now. I remembered what we were here to do, what I had almost forgotten about in the flood of worrying about other – admittedly more important – concerns. He was going to show me what he looked like in the sun, so I could finally understand what Beau had hinted at way back on Monday, which was feeling more and more like another age of my life.
I took one step back towards him and held out my hand, trying to make my expression inviting and not too curious. When he didn't react, I took another step and held out another hand, beckoning gently. I was on the verge of calling out to him when he held up one hand – a warning and a reassurance in one.
Edward's shoulders rose and fell slightly as he took a final deep breath, and then stepped out into the shining midday sun.
