Fitz stepped out from behind the screen. Olivia was shocked that he would actually come here himself. Immediately after he stepped out, so did 6 other agents.
She immediately felt outnumbered and her defenses shot up. He was tense and coiled like a tiger but his expression wasn't one of anger. She'd never thought he would be capable of physically hurting her but at that moment, she wasn't sure if the threat was real or in her head. She felt his guards staring at her, some of the noble ones like Tom stared everywhere except at her but others were blatantly staring at her breast or crotch in her bikini and she could feel them.
The tension in the room was thick. All 6 guards stood waiting for Fitz's command but she still couldn't read him.
"Can you get the car seats Tom,." Fitz walked over to the crib and stared down at both girls.
"You are not taking my daughters anywhere."
He'd missed them so much that he smiled when he saw them, because the sight of them utterly warmed him. They were sleeping in their diapers in their back with their blonde hair curled just the way he remembered. Luna was sucking in her pacifier while Lana spat hers out.
Her heart ached as she watched him smiling down at them and her eyes filled with tears. She didn't know how they had gotten to that point. Half of the feelings she felt in the past few weeks no longer made sense. She didn't know what to do anymore so she just stood and watched as he moved from the crib and shifted around the room for clothes for the girls. He found a bag with some of their clothes in it and walked back over to the crib and began dressing them.
Fitz got both the girls ready, Luna woke up briefly but went back to sleep. He strapped them in their car seats and began packing a few things for the trip.
She felt completely helpless and she began to panic at the thought that he was taking them away for good. She had a moment of clarity but now it was gone and still she didn't fight until Fitz took both car seats and gave them to Tom.
"No," she screamed and began hyperventilating. "You-can't," she said as she burst into hysterical sobs.
Luna fussed at the sound and she covered her mouth so her crying wouldn't wake them. Tom hurried out and took the sleeping babies to the seaplane and prepared to take off with two other agents and the pilot as Fitz instructed. Fitz closed the door and Derek walked and stood by the exit. Olivia paced by the bed, unable to control her grief but trying her hardest to reign in her emotions. She was inside her worst nightmare and felt powerless to stop it and what made it worse was that she was beginning to doubt how valid her feelings were and if she really was manic. She hadn't had an episode in so long that it wasn't her first thought when she was feeling emotional or overwhelmed. Even when Fitz had left her and she was devastated she hadn't gone manic, she fell into a major depressive episode but she wasn't manic-at least she didn't think she was. She could never be sure.
Fitz took a breath and walked to her. He'd never seen her like that and it pained him to know she was hurting, even if her emotions were exaggerated by her disorder. Tonight was the night they were going to hash out everything that was going on between them. They needed to fix it once and for all and he was prepared to compromise to do it. If after tonight they couldn't agree to share custody then didn't know how to move forward. He didn't want to take them but he now knew she was capable of running away with them and he worried that the next time he wouldn't find them at all.
He watched her for a moment as she cried hysterically, unable to catch her breath until she stumbled back against the wall as he approached.
He stopped in front of her and she turned her face away from him. Sadness was turning into anger and it hit her like a ton of bricks..
"Olivia, I can't see you like this."
"Where are they?" She choked out through sniffles.
"What are you thinking?" He asked softly. "Taking them all the way to Central America especially considering Luna is in remission. Are you thinking Olivia? Because this isn't you and I really need you to talk to me so we can figure this out because we can't continue like this."
"I took them because if I hadn't you would have taken them from me. That's what you said, that's what those court papers were for, weren't they?" She said angrily.
"I wasn't going to take them."
"You just fucking did-"
"Because we need to talk and I didn't want them around for that. They're going to wait for us on Air Force one."
Olivia shook her head, bewildered.
Fitz sighed, frustrated. "I don't want to hurt you. I meant it when I said I was sorry. If I could take back everything I've done to get us to this point I would but I can't, all I can do is apologize and never do it again," his voice was softer.
"If you really mean that then you won't take them from me."
He walked closer."I was never going to take them and you'd be lying if you said you didn't know that. I just got the court order because I thought maybe it would scare you into letting me see them and if I'm being honest I was scared after what you told me about the DNA test, I kind of panicked. I don't want to fight with you anymore Olivia, I just want all of this back and forth to be over so we can take care of the girls together. I feel like we were good for a while and then in these past few months…I don't know what happened…but I want to fix it. We'll keep the old arrangement and I'll continue to visit as often as I can."
Olivia rolled her eyes, "You're such a good guy, aren't you," she said sarcastically. "Now I'm crazy and unreasonable and you're a saint."
"That's not what I'm doing at all. We need a resolution and if this is what it takes then I'll do it."
Her breathing became labored as she grew angrier and angrier. "There is no old agreement because I don't want you fucking anywhere near me. I hate you. You're my enemy and I don't want you in my apartment."
"We'll meet somewhere neutral then and you can stay close by while I spend time with them. If that doesn't work we can try something else."
Olivia growled angrily and tears came again, "fucking stop it."
"Stop what?" Fitz asked.
Fitz tried to touch her but she slapped his hand but he wasn't deterred. He grabbed her face between his hands and stepped closer.."Get off of me," she said angrily.
He moved closer and tried to get her to look at him."Olivia, I need you to stop fighting me." He turned her face so she was forced to meet his eyes. "Look at me," he said but she refused to look. "Look at me Olivia," he commanded and this time she met his gaze. "You've had a rough few months so I don't blame you for being angry and frustrated but we need to stop fighting. I'll give you whatever the fuck you want but we're done fighting. Do you understand?"
Fitz felt a hand to his jaw.
She punched him hard and was immediately filled with regret. He'd never ever physically hurt her no matter how angry he was and in the span of a fortnight, she'd hit him twice.
She was overwhelmed by emotions that were no longer distinct from each other, they all seemed to melt together. She was angry that he wasn't angry because now she couldn't justify being angry. She was angry at the realization that Abby might be right and she was having an episode. She was panicking because she hoped she hadn't permanently damaged their relationship.
She met his eyes straight on. He was angry now. His lips were tightly pressed together and his breathing was labored.
As the second passed she felt anger radiating off him. Another wave of tears came to her eyes as she frantically reached for him only to feel him reach for her at the exact same moment. He was tense as he kissed her slowly with his hands pressed against her cheeks. He could feel her tears against his cheek and his instinct was to deepen the kiss and play with her tongue. Moments later, he broke the kiss and immediately turned her around. He was absolutely ravenous for her and it was made worse by his frustration with her over the last few weeks. He was in a haze as he untied her strings of her bikini top and groped her breasts in his hands. She let out a gasp and held his hands over her breasts. She was desperate to feel something, anything other than the sadness and grief that had been overwhelming her. She felt him pull at the strings of her bikini and they fell to the floor between her legs. He ran his hands up her body, squeezing her flesh as he went from her thighs back up to her breasts.
"Derek, get out," Fitz commanded.
He was still trying to give himself time to build the resolve to let her go. Sex wouldn't fix them but now that it was his mind, now that they were so close he couldn't get it out, he couldn't stop. All he could think about was feeling her around his cock and fucking her hard against the wall until all the pent up frustration he'd been feeling left his body. He didn't care that she slapped him, it didn't hurt. He was just tired of feeling like he never knew what was going on with her. She'd never truly let him in. She could never truly express her feelings to him, he always had to guess or pull it out of her. Everything he knew about her he'd learned from observing her or because her friends had volunteered the information and only then would she open up about it and even then she only gave him bits and pieces.
When he heard the door close after Derek walked out he let her go and unbuttoned his pants and pulled his stiff cock from his underpants. He pulled her ass towards him and pressed his tip against her hole. She was soaking wet when he felt her and he immediately slid inside her. Olivia sucked in a breath and pressed her face against the wall. She poked her ass out to him and Fitz pulled her back against his chest and held her tight. He pulled her face to him and kissed her deeply then moved his hand down between her legs and pressed his palm against her crotch to put pressure again as her clit and began moving into her with sharp, punctuated thrust.
"Ahhh-" she choked out immediately against his lips when he began his onslaught.
He thrust hard against her and felt a gush of liquid squirt from between her legs. He felt fresh tears rolling down her cheeks as they kissed. She grabbed him tighter and began to lose control of her body.
Fitz stopped suddenly and pulled out.
She groaned, frustrated by the sudden cessation of pleasure when she was so close and felt so good. She turned to him, confused as he walked over to the bed and pulled off his shirt with one swift motion.
"Come here," he called.
He looked up and down her perfect body as she walked over to him. Her breasts were round and busty. Her crotch was hairless except for a small landing strip of hair.
She stopped in front of him and Fitz laid back on the bed and turned her on her belly. He pushed down his pants and stripped naked then positioned her on all fours in the bed and squared himself behind her.
He entered her deeper than before and she cried out deeply in response. Her ass was arched perfectly and her face was buried in the sheets. He thrust deep, with passion and purpose, grinding his hips as she screamed under him.
He looked down at her perfect round ass jiggling every time his groin slapped against her. His penis was covered with shiny clear fluid that was beginning to froth white from the speed of his thrusts into her. Her fluid was sticky and it stretched between them.
She'd never been this wet and she'd never screamed so loud. It felt euphoric. She began to squirt again and the sound of wetness enveloped them both.
Her moaning and crying rose an octave higher as she grabbed the sheets tighter and succumbed to her orgasm. Her walls clasp tighter on him and she felt her spasm.
"FUCK-" he cursed and threw his head back, unable hold out for a second longer. He pumped until there was nothing left in him. He felt his orgasm down to his toes. He took a moment to pull out and stood. He grabbed his shirt from the edge of the bed and slipped it on then pulled in his pants and stepped into his shoes.
Olivia collapsed on her belly and watched him dress briefly before he walked out of the room to the outside porch.
She turned slowly and sat up, still feeling the effects of him in and on her body. She covered naked body with a blanket and waited for him to return, trying not to think about the fact that they had sex and he walked away like it meant nothing to him, like she meant nothing to him. Her immediate urge was to cry but she tried to breathe and calm herself because she knew she was manic and she didn't trust her emotions. It felt like she was coming to the other side of her episode but the fact that it was still so hard to control her emotions told her that she wasn't there yet.
Moments later he opened the door and walked in.
"Get dressed so we can leave. I need to be in Washington before the press corp finds out I smuggled myself out of the fucking country." He walked to the bathroom without waiting for a response. He washed his hands and splashed water on his face and took a breath.
The fact that he'd barely looked at her as he spoke confirmed what she feared and that was when the tears came. This time she didn't hold back. She wiped her eyes with the blanket and once again tried to calm herself before he returned.
Fitz walked out and saw her at the spot he'd left her.
"Olivia, get dressed." He said as he picked up her white bikini bottom and top from the floor where they'd left it. He walked to the bed and handed it to her and noticed her puffy wet eyes. She'd never really stopped crying for more than a moment or two since he arrived. She took her bathing suit then held onto his hand as he attempted to step off.
"Fitz?" She called tearfully.
It stopped him in his tracks and he turned to her.
"I'm really, really sorry."
Fitz shrugged, "don't be sorry."
"No, I hit you and I shouldn't have. That isn't me."
He smiled dryly, "and last week when you slapped me. That wasn't you either right?"
She grimaced at his words. It was hard to hear what she'd done. "You're right to be angry with me. I took it too far. I should've never hit you."
"Right and next week when you hit me again what will the story be?"
"I won't do it again-"
"How do you know that?"
"I won't-"she said, shaking her head as she began to panic. "Please don't be mad at me. I can't handle it right now," she said as she wiped her eyes. "This won't happen again. I was…being a bitch. I'm sorry."
He was incredulous. "You think what you've done in these last two weeks is you being a bitch?"
Fitz pulled his hand from her because the conversation was frustrating him. She was still lying to him and she would rather call herself a bitch than admit her disorder. She couldn't promise him it couldn't happen again because her episodes were not something she could control and he was sure she knew that.
"Get dressed," he said.
"Fitz," she cried in a panic as he stepped away.
As he began walking he stopped and decided that he was going to get the truth out of her. They were going to deal with it there because if he didn't they would go back to Washington just as broken as they left.
He turned around and faced her.
"You're pissing me off Olivia. You're really pissing me off," he growled through clenched teeth. "You took my fucking 10 month old daughters and brought them to fucking Costa Rica to keep them from me, Olivia. For almost one week I had no fucking idea where you were," he barked furiously. He took a breath and walked closer to her. "Do you have any idea what that did to me?"
"I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking- I'll never do it again."
"You can't promise me that and you know it."
"I can," she cried. "I love you. I won't hurt you like this again."
Fitz shook his head, "you don't fucking love me."
"Don't you say that!" She choked out, hurt and angry. "I love you and you know that."
"You don't Olivia. It's been almost 4 years since you've been in my life and I still have no fucking idea who you are."
"That's not true-"
"Ask me what your parents' names are," he said, then stood back and waited for an answer. "Go ahead Olivia. Ask me.."
She was silent.
"Tell me what's going on with you, Olivia. Tell me so we can fix it."
He'd been trying not to throw Abby under the bus but if Olivia wasn't going to say it then he would.
"There's nothing going on- I just-I was wrong and I'm sorry," she said as she wiped her eyes.
"You're lying to me Olivia."
"I'm not. I swear."
"Were you diagnosed with bipolar disorder?" He asked, calmly, waiting for her reaction.
Her eyes opened wide and filled with tears again. She shook her head and with the sheets draped around her body. "Wha-w-why would you say that?" She asked frantically.
"Because you were," he said. "And that's why I'm so angry with you. I tried not to be but I am. I'm fucking furious."
She shook her head again, "I can't control it. I'm sorry, I didn't know I -"
"I'm not angry that you have it. I'm angry that even after everything that's happened in the last week you couldn't tell me. These last two week have been fucking hell and they didn't have to be if you told me."
"I didn't know I was manic-am manic-"
"-Abby knew," he said. "She knew exactly how to deal with you. She knew what to look for, she knew how to talk to you and she knew how long it would last but I didn't know because you didn't tell me."
Olivia took a breath and sat on the bed, exhausted and overwhelmed.
Fitz walked to her and stood between her legs. "I had to threaten to throw Abby in jail to get her to tell me and even still she was scared of what you'd do if found out."
Olivia leaned forward and rested her head against his torso. She was devastated that he knew.
Fitz lifted her face between his hand and wiped eyes. He leaned closer so he could look directly in her eyes as he spoke. "I fucking love you, Olivia. Don't you get that? I love every part of you." He sighed, "some parts more than others but my point remains the same."
She finally smiled back.
"I want you to talk to me. I want to know you like you know me. You have to let me in. I won't hurt you again."
Olivia nodded as she gazed back into his eyes, deciding finally to give herself to him.
He leaned down and kissed her tenderly.
"I love you so much," she whispered against his lips.
"I love you too," he said as he caressed her and ran his thumbs across her cheek.
Olivia pushed the sheet off her body and leaned back on the bed and opened her legs wider in front of him. Fitz leaned on top of her and kissed her lips and felt her begin to undo his pants button. He leaned up and pulled down his pants. Olivia waited, resisting the urge to touch herself as he undressed.
She was desperate for anything that felt good and sex felt good, so good that it could quiet her mind even if it was just for the moments he was inside her.
Once he was undressed he held her by the waist and pulled her ass to the edge of the bed. The move was so quick it made her breath hitch. She looked between her legs and saw his cock erect and pointing in the air, ready for her.
She began to lose her breath as she waited to feel him. Fitz lifted her legs around his hip and slid into her slowly.
"Yes," she said as she arched her back and sighed.
She was just as wet as he left her. He held her hips and began thrust slowly, enjoying the grip she had on his cock. He watched as her breast bounced up and down, spread across her chest.
The feeling of him was so sweet she tears pricked at her eyes. His cock fit inside her as if it was made specifically for her. The way he touched all her spots and kept her stretched at the same time was maddening.
Suddenly she needed to be held by him and as she was about to reach for him he leaned on top of her and pressed his body against hers. He slowed for just a moment as he lifted her further into the bed and began again. He held her tightly underneath him and gazed into her eyes as he fucked her. Olivia wrapped her arms around his shoulder and melted under his gaze, enjoying his cock.
It took just moments for her to stiffen under him.
"Don't stop-fucking me like that-" she whimpered.
"Like this," he said and he leaned and kissed her and began thrusting deeper.
Olivia nodded with her mouth gaping. Seconds later her orgasm began. Waves of pleasure twisted her insides as she held him tighter, digging her fingers into his back and crying out his name.
Half way through hers, Fitz began his own, working his hips faster as he pumped her full of his cum. He'd kissed her through his orgasm and finally broke the kiss when he finished but his face was still only inches away from hers. "I think your pussy was made for me," he whispered.
"Yeah," she entreated as she ran her fingers through his soft hair, smiling slightly because she'd had the same thoughts earlier.
"Mhm. I love the way you take my dick."
Her breath hitched as he leaned up and kneeled between her legs. He reached down and pressed both hands on her breasts and squeezed her gently. "You're breast are fucking perfect," he said then leaned and and squished them together before sucking both nipples.
"Mmm," Olivia moaned as she ducked in a breath. "They're yours."
Fitz smirked and moved from her nipples, "what about your sweet pussy? Is that mine too?"
Olivia nodded and pressed her hands against his, on her breasts. "All of me."
He kissed her and then moved his hands from her breast and lifted her and wrapped her legs around his waist then carried her to the bathroom.
He held her against his chest as drops of water from the shower faucet beat down on them. He just fucked her hard against the wall and now she seemed exhausted. He kissed her against her curly wet hair and held her for a while longer before they finished their bath.
Once they stepped out and dried, Fitz dressed in the same clothes he'd had before and Olivia slipped on underwear then cut off shorts and a camisole. She wrapped up her hair and tried to gather her essentials to bring back to D.C. everything else would stay.
Derek brought the second seaplane that was parked around the other side of the island to the front of the villa. When she finished packing her goyard tote, she met Fitz in front of the beach house after he'd stepped out to talk to Tom.
"Have the girls left yet?"
"Yes. Karen's nanny was waiting for them on the jet. She's with them on the flight."
Olivia nodded.
"Before we leave here Liv, is everything okay between us?"
She turned to face him.
"I think it will be."
"Promise me one thing before we go," he said. "Promise me that next time you're feeling like this, you'll come talk to me and not talk yourself over the edge."
She nodded, "I promise."
Derek signaled that the plane was ready. Fitz took her bag as they walked down the beach to the plane. Derek stood on the shore waiting for them to board. It was a quick ride back to the private airstrip where AF1 grounded and still Olivia fell asleep against his chest. She woke briefly to board Air Force 1 and then slept once they took off.
The flight back was quick, as quick as 5 hours could go by as he waited hoping she'd wake but she never did.
Once they touched down in DC and got into the car Olivia realized they still needed to talk about a couple of things. She was still drowsy and her eyes were heavy but she fought to stay awake. When she was manic she would go days with little or no sleep and since she was coming down, exhaustion began to set in.
The car pulled off shortly after they got in.
"I'm guessing the girls are at the White House?"
"Yes," he answered. "I can bring them back to you but they're sleeping right now."
"No, I think they should stay with you."
"Are you sure?" He asked.
She nodded and her eyes got wet, "I need a few days."
Fitz wrapped his arm around her and kissed her against her hair. "Take as much time as you need and please Olivia, please let me know if you need any help at all."
She nodded and wiped her eyes. Fitz leaned down and kissed her lips and caressed her cheek.
"What can I do?" He asked, pained.
"I don't know yet," she admitted as honestly as she could. "I need a mood stabilizer to help me. I have to see a psychiatrist to figure out where to go from there."
"Have you taken that before?"
She nodded, "lithium helps. I just need someone to prescribe it."
"My doctor can prescribe it," Fitz said.
"I have a psychiatrist and she can have it sent to me."
Fitz nodded, "okay."
They drove a while longer before Fitz remembered something and smiled hoping it would lift her mood.
"I rented out six flags for a day as a treat for Karen. Since camp is out, I was going to fly her and her friends out to magic mountain next weekend and I wanted to take the girls with me and I wanted you to come. Is that something you'd be up for?"
"You rented out a theme park?" She asked with a small smile.
"Yeah, Karen's been asking for months and I think she deserves it."
"But if she went with her friends and a dozen guards you wouldn't have to rent the entire thing."
"I know but she wants me and the twins to be there so I figured it was better to be safe than sorry."
"Okay."
"Are you gonna come?"
"Yes, I'll come, our babies aren't going all the way to California without me."
He chuckled."Alright."
Fitz turned and stared absently through the tinted window. He looked so handsome that she stopped and stared at him for a while.
"Fitz there are a few more things we have to talk about."
He turned and faced her."Oh yeah."
"Yes, you have twin babies at the White House, the press is gonna find out pretty soon, they'll speculate at first but when I show up to six flags next week then they'll know."
"So let them know, they'll figure it out soon enough."
"People are going to say horrible racist, bigoted and downright cruel things about me and them and I don't know if I can handle all the attention and pressure right now. The press is going to hound them, they won't be able to live with me anymore, not if I want them to be safe. They'll have to be at the White House, so where does that leave me?"
"When you decided to have them you knew that everyone finding out was a possibility but you wanted them more, right?"
She nodded.
"People will find out, they're mine Liv, there is no denying that and I don't want them to be a secret, I don't want you to be a secret. You have no idea how grateful I am that you gave me two out of three of my beautiful daughters." He paused. "This is my life. I want you and them to be a part of it. It'll be hard at first, it's gonna be the only thing the press will talk about for weeks, maybe months but once it's done, it'll be done. We'll settle into a routine and then we can raise our daughters together. I want you to live at the White House with me and eventually I want you to be my wife. If you can't handle the attention now I understand. I won't take the twins with me. It's not the end of the world if they don't go."
"Can I get a couple of days to calm down and try to even out my emotions and then we can talk about it again. I don't trust myself to make any decisions right now."
He held her hand in his and kissed it.
"Okay."
They continued to her apartment. She opened the door with her key and walked inside. Olivia flipped the light on and it was a complete mess. There were clothes and toys everywhere and as she saw it she remembered rummaging through her apartment to find things to pack to leave for with the girls.
"Woah," Fitz said when he stepped inside. He'd never seen her apartment in that state before.
Olivia laughed and shook her head, " I didn't even realize I did this."
"Olivia, are you okay to stay by yourself tonight?"
"I'm not sure," she answered and felt tears coming again."fuck," she said frustrated as she wiped her eyes. "What's wrong with me?"
"Okay, you're coming with me."
"Fitz, no- I'-I'll call Abby-"
"Baby, we just talked about this-"
"I know but the babies need you-"
He took her hand and walked her back outside, "I'll take you back home in the morning but I'm not leaving you alone tonight."
Olivia nodded and let the door slam shut so it could self lock and then followed him back to the whitehouse.
He walked her to the Lincoln bedroom and opened the door. Olivia walked in and looked around the room. It was just as she remembered it. She walked over to the bed and immediately unbuttoned her shorts and pulled off her camisole and bra then climbed in and pulled the comforter up to her face. Fitz walked over and dropped her purse by the nightstand and leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I love you. I'm gonna check on the kids and then I'll be back." She nodded even though her back was turned to him. He left Karen to make sure she was in bed and sleeping. It was a habit of his. After he kissed her forehead while she slept he went to the nursery to see the girls. He'd had the nursery made a few months earlier for them because his expectation was that eventually they'd live with him.
Both girls were asleep as he expected. Their monitors were on and he grabbed one and brought it back to the bedroom with him. Karen's live-in nanny had the other.
When he got back to the bedroom he immediately walked to the bathroom and washed his hands and face. He stripped out of his clothes and pulled on pajama bottoms and walked to the bed. He'd assumed Olivia was asleep because she was so still but when he walked to the bed and pulled back the comforter he saw that she was still awake. He placed the monitor on the nightstand on his side and climbed into bed. He reached for her and pulled her to him and wrapped his arm around her and enjoyed the feeling of her naked body against his. Olivia laid her head against his bare chest and threw her leg over him and hoped sleep would come quickly.
When she woke it was bright out. She felt for Fitz and he was gone. She sat up slowly and when she turned to the nightstand there was a prescription bottle of 600 mg lithium. She saw a note beside it from Fitz letting her know he had a televised White House event and would be gone until at least 1pm. She checked the time on her phone and saw that it was almost 11am. Abby texted her to check in and Olivia texted back that she should meet her at her apartment.
She stood and pulled on her shorts and when she turned around she saw breakfast spread on the coffee table for her. She smiled at how thoughtful he was and pulled on her bra and top before she took the pill bottle and walked over to the couch to eat.
She ate the lemon blueberry scones with some of the fresh fruit and orange juice. When she finished eating she took a dosage of the lithium and hoped she would feel the effects soon. She woke up feeling much better but until she spoke with a psychiatrist she didn't trust herself or her emotions.
She sat for a while to see if she would feel nauseous which is a side effect of the medication and when she didn't, she grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Daniel was standing there.
"Daniel?"
He stepped over to her.
"Yes ma'am."
"I want to go home."
"Okay."
"Can you sneak me out?"
"We'll go through the underground passage to Blair house and you can leave from the back."
Olivia nodded and followed him. She had the urge to go and see the girls. She missed them but she wanted to be emotionally balanced before she saw them again. She texted Fitz to let him know she was leaving and just seconds after she sent the text she saw that he was calling her.
She answered immediately.
"Hello?"
"Hey, you're heading home?"
"Yes," she answered.
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah. Thank you for that and the pills."
"I'll call to check on you later. Let me know when you get to the apartment."
"I will," Olivia said before she hung up.
She walked into her apartment and closed the door behind her. She took a moment to take a breath and then searched for her psychiatrist number and called her and set up an appointment for later in the afternoon. After speaking to her psychiatrist's office she began cleaning up what she could in her apartment until she heard a knock on the door. She walked over to open it and saw Abby. She looked worried as she stepped inside.
"How did you get back?" She said,
"Fitz."
"Oh." She said, "What happened?"
"He told me you told him I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder."
Abby shook her head and Olivia watched her eyes get wet but before she could say anything she reached for her and hugged her tightly. "Thank you," Olivia said.
Abby was shocked she broke the hug and leaned up so she could see her face.
"You aren't mad at me? I didn't want to tell him but he's fucking intense. He wasn't gonna let me leave until I told him what I knew."
"It's okay," Olivia said with a small sideways smile. "I think you probably saved my relationship with him."
"So you guys are okay?"
Olivia didn't know what to say, "we're better but until my head is clear I don't know. I'm trying not to make decisions until I'm better. It got so bad. I hit him Abby," she said tearfully. "I didn't know I'd gotten so out of control."
Abby hugged her tightly, "it's okay. I think it's over now."
"But I can't take back all the things I did and said."
"It wasn't you. He understands. Once I told him he wasn't mad at you anymore. He just wanted to make sure you and the girls were okay."
Olivia smiled, "yes well he was mad at me but it was because he was trying to pull it out of me but I wouldn't admit it."
Abby stopped and looked around, "wait,where are the twins?"
"At the whitehouse. I slept over with him last and I just came back a few hours ago. Karen's nanny has the girls."
"Oh, you slept over with him?" Abby said suggestively as she wiggled her eyebrows at Olivia.
She blushed, "oh my god. I'm in the middle of a fucking mental health crisis and you're worried about my vagina?"
Abby laughed, "you're here blushing because of him, Olivia. I think it's over. Do you think it's over?"
Olivia shrugged, "I'm on lithium, I feel leveled so it's working. I made an appointment with dr. Gregory so she can evaluate me. I don't wanna be around Fitz or the girls until I know what's going on with me."
Abby nodded in agreement.
"Once I figure that out I'm going to move in with him."
"Wow," Abby said with a smile. "That's a big step. I thought you said you aren't making any decisions until you're better."
"I'm done fighting being together. I want to be with him and I'll have to deal with whatever comes with that."
"You'll be first lady," Abby said.
"Not until we're married- which he plans to do I just don't know when."
"He asked you to marry him?" Abby said with a gasp.
"No," Olivia said with a chuckle, "he just told me he plans to marry me."
"If he asked you to marry him tomorrow, what would you say?"
"Yes. The timing would be crappy but I'd say yes."
"I have to be your maid of honor obviously," Abby said.
Olivia shook her head and smiled, "you know what's funny. After the break up I thought if that didn't make me manic then I would probably never have an episode again, now look at me."
"I'm not so sure you weren't manic. Maybe it didn't last this long but you locked yourself in a bathroom and didn't eat for days and you literally cried for the entire time. I'm not saying you were manic for sure but for at least 4 or 5 days you were…out of it."
Olivia shrugged, "maybe I'm just in denial. I remember crying because I literally thought I was going to die. I thought the pain of losing him would kill me. I probably fucking was."
They talked for a while longer until Daniel followed Olivia to her doctor's appointment.
