They headed down to the gym. He took a quick look at the triad court, made sure they had it booked for the rest of the night, utilizing his command privilege for one of the first times, apologizing to those cued up with a promise of more time tomorrow and that he might see if the OC could stay open later tonight. Boomer and Jake were playing hard, but the young man saw him, waving before flashing him a sign Rene had to interpret for Starbuck. He thought he knew them all by now, but every now and then he was reminded that these two had created their own language.
"He's going to make you regret making promises as you choke on your own teeth and he drowns you in your own blood. He won't regret making me a widow today," she clarified as she shook her head.
"That sign means that much?" he asked, impressed they had a sign so very specific, as well that Rene might actually be joking with him. She hadn't done much of that lately, so it was a sign she was in a much better mood.
"No and yes. Close enough."
"Ah, I see. You're inserting your own two cubits in there."
"Who? Me?" she asked, pure saccharine. "Also, avoid his left. He's ambidextrous. Only coaching I'm giving."
"Sweet lady, that's the only coaching I'll need. I'm going to wipe the floor with him."
"Uh huh. Sounding a tad overconfident, in my opinion."
"Maybe you haven't seen everything I'm capable of," he drawled at her.
"I know I haven't. After all, there's so much more I can teach you . . ." She tossed the last remark over her shoulder, turning away.
He laughed, taking a couple quick steps and grabbing her hand, pulling her back to him, turning the maneuver into a dance step. "I'm sure of it. But maybe not with triad. Don't worry, I can take care of myself on the court."
"I thought about it and you know it benefits me if you are too injured to fly." She smirked at him before Jake made a point of flashing a sign at Rene, the combination Starbuck had seen before of the thumb extended, pointer finger and little finger up, the shorthand for "I love you."
"Aww that's sweet, he loves me," he teased as Rene started to walk away, headed for the officiant spot above.
2
"I love you too," she said to him.
"Oh wow, he really does think he's going to kill me if you both are being sweet to me," he commented but Rene just shook her head shouting back to him.
"Injured or dead, you stay on the Galactica with me."
He flashed Jake and Boomer a thumbs up and to give him just a centon to change. He debated flashing a rude gesture at Jake but reconsidered. The young man didn't look tired yet. No need to rile him up more than he was.
In the locker room, he had a moment to reflect on how the last few sectars had changed him. He'd lost weight recently, courtesy of the mission to Caprica. He had lines on his face he didn't remember being there before, and his hair was a long mess. He'd need to do something about that tomorrow before he set foot on the Shiva. Tigh was a stickler for the regulation uniform. But it was more than his looks he reflected upon. It wasn't that long ago he'd be the one needing to throw a punch and vent some anger. Had marriage mellowed him? Was the fleet's most notorious viper jockey finally growing up? It wasn't the first time he'd wondered about that change. Being with Rene made him more cautious. He had a family to care for and to live for. He had to think about more than himself. In the past, the idea of being in charge of a mission to make first contact with a new ship would have been the thrill of his yahren. Now he dreaded the idea of the danger it might pose. Should he still be flying? Caution in a cockpit was not your friend. It could mean second guessing a move. A moment's hesitation gave the cylons the opening to take you out.
He took a hard look at himself in the triad uniform. He was still slim compared to his friends, and he found time to workout. He appreciated that strength when missions went awry. The hikes through the Caprican hills had been a good reminder that keeping his body fit helped keep him and others alive. He was still a young man himself, not that much older than Rene and Jake. The lines on his face were just from being overworked and lacking some sleep, after all, a lot had happened since the Destruction. But they were things he could remedy if he delegated some of his tasks.
This wasn't one of those tasks. Despite needing a good nap, he also needed to help out his new brother. He headed for the triad court before he could reconsider. "I'm not ready for the rocking chair yet," he mumbled to himself, earning a strange look from Jolly. "Keep him from killing me and I'll owe you one."
"No guarantees, Bucko. He's younger and faster than me," Jolly replied. "Actually, he's younger and might be faster than you too.".
"We're not old men yet," Starbuck said, clapping him on the back, "But we do have some experience dealing with these young pups, am I right?"
2Jolly shook his head at that. "Your young pups have already worn me out today, and now triad? You have some kind of death wish?"
"It will be fun," Starbuck said, hoping that would be true.
"Your version of fun has gotten people almost killed before," Jolly jibed.
"It's just triad," he reminded him.
"He's just half my age," Jolly replied.
When they entered the court, he asked Boomer what the score was, but his friend shook his head, bent over and grasping his thighs, too winded to answer.
"Okay, so we start over. You mind Boomer as your teammate, I take Jolly?" he asked Jake, who grinned at him evilly before answering with a simple sure.
Jake had the ball and tossed it into one of the goals as they joined hands for the scrum. Jake gripped his hand hard, practically crushing his fingers before Starbuck could shift his hand, gaining the upper grip, a trick he had learned a long time ago.
As the ball shot out onto the court, Jake didn't even pretend to go for it, launching himself at Starbuck, trying to take him down in a tackle. Starbuck had only a moment to shift to the side, but Jake anticipated the move, shifting as well, dropping the two of them to the floor hard. Starbuck flipped from his side to his stomach, scrambling to get to his feet, realizing too late his mistake. He'd turned his back on Jake. The young man reached for his arm, flipping him back over, his left hand cocked back for the punch that Starbuck said he could have.
But he only said he'd let the kid throw the punch; he didn't agree to take it. He blocked the blow with one hand while kicking out with his legs, a low blow to the crotch. Jake's fist only made it halfway before he was rolling away to the side, avoiding the kick, and scrambling for the ball to avoid Jolly who was barreling for it.
It set the tone for the rest of the game. Who was he kidding? It wasn't a game. It was Jake stomping on all of them. His speed was impressive, each scrum attacking with a tackle while still able to recover and retrieve a ball. It took the third scrum before Starbuck realized Jake never actually intended to land any of the punches he threw, they were distractions, and the young man was giving him a demonstration of what the Rats had done on occasion to help keep those in high rank still in good favor with Dante and his lackeys. They were bluffs and play acting, but it sure as hades felt like it was real each time Jake launched at him, knocking him to the ground. Jake landed a few punches to the body, and Starbuck landed a few of his own. They were both going to be bruised and sore in the morning, but he thought they'd still be friends at the end of this. The punches weren't nearly as hard as they could be and he was able to anticipate the tackles and choose how he wanted to land.
He called a time out at one point to ask Jake to show him one of his moves, and Jake took the time to walk him through the foot sweep that he did before the tackle that laid Starbuck out flat on his back. Jake reciprocated by asking about the body block Starbuck was known for, something he picked up from Ortega that gave one the opportunity to toss a few punches into the ribs before pulling free.
The match shifted into a tutorial of sorts of cheap shots and dirty plays that officials might not catch. Surprisingly, Jolly knew a few of his own, and the breaks to practice the moves gave the larger man a chance to catch his breath. Jake even taught them how to throw what appeared to be a wicked punch that could be pulled back at the last moment, also showing Starbuck how to turn at the correct angle to avoid the full force of his fist. It required some speed, something he'd been meaning to work on. They restarted their match and actually played fair for a few points, before they all pulled out their dirty moves. Things were going well, until Starbuck didn't move fast enough, Jake body checked him into the wall. Starbuck shifted the wrong way and took the punch Jake threw at his jaw. His head snapped back into the wall, a harder hit than the fist, and he was going down until Jake caught him.
"Oh frak! Sorry, sorry, dammit, Sagan's sake, stay on your feet!"
Jake checked him into the wall again. He couldn't block that blow, although he tried lamely. Then he realized it wasn't a hard hit and Jake was basically holding him there, supporting his weight.. He tried to say something, but his tongue felt thick in his mouth.
"Sorry, sorry, dammit, sorry." Jake swallowed convulsively. "Pretend you're okay or Rene's going to kill me." He glanced back at her, before whispering frantically, "I didn't mean to connect. You went left. Why did you do that?"
Starbuck blinked, again trying to say something.
"Don't ever go left." Jake took a long look at him, his eyes darting over the warrior's features, his features drawn. "Sorry."
Shaking his head to Jake's numerous and rapid apologies in an effort to clear his vision, he finally mumbled, "Which way. . . left?"
"Frak me, I didn't mean to get you on that one. Pretend you're okay." Jake pulled away from him, removing the pressure on his abused ribs, but Jake's hands still supported him. As Starbuck shook his head again chasing out the tracers of stars, one of his knees gave way. He stumbled, but Jake's arms were there to catch him again, propping him back up.
"Oh Frak!" Jake shook his head slowly "Yup, I am dead. So dead." He paused, waiting for Starbuck to do something impressive, like stand on his own two feet or string together a complete sentence. "Say nice words at my funeral. Frak she is going to kill me." Blinking madly, while forcing the bile back down into his guts, Starbuck was able to finally see straight, reading clearly the panic on Jake's face. Abruptly, Jake was shoved aside, and Rene was there, looking him over with a clinical detachment that was enveloped in a simmering boil.
"That's enough! You've had your fun. He's still not up to full speed since Caprica, okay? You want to murder someone, find the guy who punched me!" she snarled.
Her hand was on Starbuck's face, gently checking if he was alright, while she continued chewing out her friend. "It's not his fault. He isn't the one who made me tell them about the recordings. I chose to. Stop taking it out on him!"
"I wasn't! It's just triad. It gets rough! He's fine. Tell her you're fine," Jake implored.
Starbuck didn't get a chance to tell her he was fine, partly because he was still taking his own damage report, attempting to put weight back on the knee that wanted to be a traitor and give out again. That was more concerning than the few stars twinkling on the edges of his vision.
She turned away from Starbuck, shoving Jake hard in the chest, a blow the young man absorbed simply by shifting away to the side as he stood his ground. "Starbuck didn't make me tell them. I did it so stop taking it out on him! You're such a mother fracking equines astrum sometimes. I made the choice."
"I know it was you and you had no right to do it! Only thing I'm mad at him about is he thinks he has to solve our problems. But this is between you and me, and no one else! He needs to stay out of it. I blame that on you too!" Jake reached for Rene, shoving her away hard. She fell back a step before catching herself. Jake advanced as she moved forward, the two of them toe to toe. Jake snarled in her face, "You don't need to tell him every damn thing! This was between us, you and me!"
Rene's fist cocked for a punch, and she threw it. Jake swept it aside, as he balled up his own fist, while reaching out with the other hand to grab Rene's shoulder, a move that would prevent her from shifting away from the full force of the blow. It gave time for Rene to jab at Jake's jaw with her other fist, the blow connecting.
"Hey!" Starbuck yelled, pulling himself away from the wall, taking a shaky step between the two of them, trying to shove them aside. Boomer was reaching for Rene, as Jolly tried a grab at Jake, but the young man shook him off, taking a menacing step towards Rene. Starbuck reached out, stiff arming the two of them apart, as they both tried to lunge at each other. "Enough!"
He glared between the two of them, each of them glaring right back.
"Put the weapons away," he said, reaching out to grab Rene's hand cocked back for another punch, before he turned to Jake, bringing a hand up ready to block a blow. "You're friends! We don't hit our friends!"
"She started it!" Jake shouted, pointing an accusing finger as Jolly tried again to pull him back a step. Jake shook him off again. "She had no right to do it. It doesn't just involve her. There are lots of other people, including me, that might not want people to know those things. It wasn't her call!"
Starbuck gently pushed Rene back a step into Boomer's arms, providing more space between them before he turned to Jake, putting his hand on the young man's chest to move him back a step.
"She did a good thing giving us the information about the recordings. We had little to go on and no one was talking. It made Dante's lackeys scared and we need that right now. She should have told us a while ago."
"This doesn't involve you!" Jake spat at him.
"Yes it does twofold. It involves the safety and security of this fleet. It involves us. We're family." He blew out his breath, raking a hand through his sweaty hair. "Look, I get what happened was bad, really bad. What I just don't get is why you are letting what happened with Dante tear the two of you apart, because that is exactly what he wanted. Why are you still letting that bastard win, huh? He doesn't have to hit you anymore, instead you hit each other!"
Starbuck shot an accusing look at the two of them. They both looked away from him. He could literally hear their walls slamming down and that was not what he wanted. He looked between them again, seeing the same anger, the same pain. It was obvious and he wondered why the two of them couldn't see it. Without an enemy they could fight and hope to defeat, they fought each other. The pain from that battle remained between them like a loaded solenite charge. It created a gulf that each was determined to maintain. Did he want them to bridge that distance and be closer together? Yes it still connected them. There was no severing that. But if he was honest, it was in that distance he was able to have Rene as his own.
He shook his head. That's not how he wanted to win her. The flat of a double edged blade was no place to form a lasting relationship. Crius had warned him, Rene was a package deal and most days he didn't mind that. Caprica taught him their close connection wasn't always a bad thing. Jake had his good moments, like when he laid out Avery and rescued Starbuck and Rene from captivity. The young man kept them alive. It had been lifesaving having his own personal medic, but he could do without the kid's pain and rage.
That's what this triad match had been about, venting anger, but it needed more than a safety valve to release the pressure, it needed to be resolved. Starbuck tried to think of all the ways Apollo had helped him deal with his own deep-seated resentment at the rotten hand life had dealt him. Starbuck had entered the academy with a huge chip on his shoulder. Sometimes he took it out on his own best friend. Apollo had been an easy target as a privileged man from a well respected family. Now as an adult, Starbuck was ashamed at the things he had said to Apollo. Early on in their friendship Apollo pointed out that Starbuck often blamed his friend for being who he was born to be. Being angry at Apollo and how good his hand had been in the lottery of life didn't change anything in Starbuck's hand.
"It's like your foot is stuck in a trap," Apollo said to him on one of their long forced marches the academy was fond of. Starbuck was grousing more than usual about the easier duties assigned to the privileged few. "Maybe if you had a better attitude, you might get a privilege or two. Your anger is trapping you. I didn't set the trap. I'm trying to help you get out of it. So why do you keep biting at me? It doesn't matter how hard you bite; it doesn't change me. It only changes you, leaving you alone and stuck. So there you are chewing your own leg off. Why don't you try something different, like I don't know, accepting some help. Or what about not snarling all the time?"
Apollo had been right, and it had been good advice. Starbuck tried to utilize it now as he looked between the two, lowering his voice.
"Just because others might know about what happened with Dante, it doesn't change anything. It is still between the two of you. What happened and how you deal with it, that's all yours and I am not getting in the middle of that, no one is. The information we were looking for, it's not about that. You both did what you had to do to survive. Good for you. You survived and it sucks Sagan's balls that you had to go through that. Your commander was a fraking psycho. That's all that recording is going to show. So let people see it. Let them see how strong you two are and how sick that bastard was."
Neither of them would look at him or each other. Starbuck reached up and ripped off his helmet in frustration. "Look, your commander dragged you into his office to separate you two. He knew together you couldn't be beaten. So he found a way to drive you two apart. He won and he's still winning. "
"No, he's not, I fraking killed him," Rene said softly.
"Damn near killed us all," Starbuck muttered in reply. "But yeah, you got him." He turned to Jake, pointing at him. "She did that for you, not for me. All for you."
Jake looked at him rolling his eyes in scorn. "It wasn't for me."
"Well, it wasn't for me either. I left the man alive on the floor of the brig and it was a huge mistake. You stopped me from killing him. But that man needed to be put down. So Rene took the hard job and did it. She did the same thing today when she shared where those recordings were. She didn't do that for me."
"Then for who? Because it sure as frak wasn't for me," Jake groused.
"I did it for me!" she shouted. "I did it for all of us. I can't go back to how it was before. Do you want that?"
"Over my dead body," Starbuck snarled.
She shook her head at him, as if trying to tell him to stay out of it before she lowered her voice. "Dante's people are still in command. We are still having to deal with them! You're never on the bridge. You hide out in the Life Center. You don't deal with Adama at all. He's trying. But you've been out in the fleet. You know how this is going to go if they wind up in charge."
Jake sighed angrily as he closed his eyes, jaw tight. The man's shoulders sagged as if in defeat, before he opened his eyes still glaring and spoke again. "It wasn't your call to make and they'll just stay in command. Nothing will change except how people look at us!"
"Things are changing," Starbuck interjected. "At least from where I'm standing. We are a stronger fleet, with better discipline. People are held accountable."
"Yeah, right, like they were for attacking me? Is that what you mean because they're still out there. They found one guy, not the six or seven that took me. The Rats get pushed around and Rene's getting punched in the corridors!"
"Starbuck's right," Rene said taking a step towards Jake. "Random events, yes, still happening, but not like it used to. Adama and his damn democratic system has them in check for the most part. It's kept all those ships together, and the people from turning into animals. Even the Eaglebash has a code. But now we're finding ships. If the Elonus's yacht is out there, then the rest might be, and Dante's old officers might have more fire power. Adama needed to know what he was dealing with."
Jake sighed heavily again before shrugging in resignation. "Yeah, the Commander should know what he's dealing with if he's going to keep them from doing it again.
Placing her hand on Starbuck's shoulder, she gently pushed him to the side as she reached for her friend with an outstretched hand, imploring him in their own personal sign language. Jake stared at her open palm for a micron, before he took it.
"I should have talked with you first, but we both know that you would have said no. I just couldn't take Asardan's smug face, okay? Haban and Mars were acting like they didn't know anything, like they weren't there for any of the frak festival of Dante's fleet. I wanted to see their faces when I called them out on it. I wanted Adama to know what they did. He needed to know how that battle went down. I was thinking about the information they could find and about keeping our family safe."
Jake traced a line on her palm, chewing his lip for a moment. She reached up and tenderly touched his cheek, waiting until he looked her in the eye. "I wasn't thinking about you, Jake, and I'm sorry."
Starbuck reached out a hand to Jake's shoulder. "It did help. Like I said, we got the information and Asardan and Haban began to sing. We know the truth now, not the lies they concocted, and they will have to account for it."
Looking down to the floor, Jake nodded, "I would have liked to have seen their faces."
"Oh, it was good," Starbuck said. "There might be a recording of it, I'll check. It wiped that smile right off Haban's conceited face. I'm not sure if he'll be in command come tomorrow."
"Good," Jake muttered, looking back at the two of them. "Still, she shouldn't have told you everything. That was between us."
Starbuck pulled his hands away, held them up, surrendering the point. "You might be right, but she also tells you things that should stay between me and her, doesn't she?"
Jake looked away, a good enough admission of the truth Starbuck already knew.
"I don't tell Jake everything," Rene muttered to him, letting go of Jake's hand guiltily.
"Maybe not everything, but probably more than I'd like. And then you lie to me about it." He looked her in the eye, but she couldn't hold his gaze. "So maybe we need to make some clearer ground rules about what is between you and me, and you and Jake, and me and Jake. For example, this," Starbuck spread his arms wide indicating the triad court, "was between me and Jake. I offered to let him pummel me. I'm fine. But I don't think we are done here. Go home with Jolly."
Both Rene and Jake spun to look at him, Rene in shock and outrage at the order, Jake with an evil grin. Rene narrowed her eyes taking in Jake's grin as Starbuck reiterated, "Me and Jake have business to finish. Go home, Rene."
Rene's jaw tightened as she shook her head mumbling, "Men are idiots. And I married the star cluster idiot. The idiot of all time."
Jake chuckled at her curses. "You picked him, not me. I said to go for Apollo."
"That's just gross."
Jake laughed.
"So, let's all move to the Zakar and make this relationship even more fraking complicated," Rene said, a rare admission of the truth.
"He is my best friend," Starbuck grinned evilly, "We could move into his quarters and then I'll have two best friends sleeping on my couches. Sounds like fun."
Rene shook her head. "You think you're funny, but you're not. Neither of you. Fine, go ahead and pummel each other. I have better things to do than watch you amateurs play triad. After all, apparently, I have a date to plan with Apollo."
"Make sure you take him flowers. He likes that," Starbuck joked. She flashed a rude hand gesture, one he thought meant he might have a better time sleeping alone for a while.
"I'll walk her home," Boomer offered, not trying very hard to smother his laughter. "I have a date with Dietra I need to clean up for."
"Thanks," Starbuck said before Rene could object. "Don't wait up for us, dear."
Rene held up her hands in surrender, still mumbling about them being idiots.
Jake chuckled as he retrieved the ball, tossing it up into a goal and reaching for Starbuck's hand for the scrum. "No worries brother. I'll go easy on you because she's going to kill you later."
He laughed, as a thousand nasty retorts flew through his head, most about how she was going to frak Starbuck to death at the rate they were going, but he chose to moderate the comment in an attempt to keep Jake on his side for once. "Being loved to death? Not a bad way to go. I can think of worse."
He thought Jolly would bow out too, but he stayed, and they began a three way game, which added some interesting dynamics as now Jolly was trying to kill him too. His friend was slow, but he had size on his side. They kept the game clean, a sign that maybe Starbuck had made a point with Jake. He appreciated that they slowed the game down some. He was tired and his head was throbbing dully, but he wasn't going to be the one to call for an end. He let Jake decide when they were done, which he did when Jolly was bent over grumbling that he should lay off the ambrosia and work out more.
"We all should," Starbuck said, patting his friend on the back. "First thing tomorrow. Tonight the OC is open. I'm buying."
"If you're buying, I'm drinking," Jolly said, finding the energy to sprint to get changed.
"You're coming. That's an order," Starbuck said to Jake. He thought the kid actually flashed him a genuine smile for half a micron before he headed for the locker room.
As they changed, Starbuck was reminded that the Rats didn't recognize personal space. Stripping off the triad top, his attention on his locker, he felt Jake's hand in the middle of his back, fingers tracing his new scar between his shoulder blades. The touch sent a jolt through him that froze him in place. Did Jake's touch set something off, or was it just that he wasn't expecting it? Starbuck didn't know what he should do as Jake's fingers became firmer, probing at the sore spot.
"I saw scans before they took it out. Watched the recording of the surgery. But only scans. Hadn't seen it till now. Still hurts?" Jake asked.
"Yeah," he answered, trying not to shiver as Jake's fingers brushed over his skin. It was more intimate than he wanted, but it was the hand of a medic that probed the scar. He relaxed when Jake's hand was drawn away, flinching when it was back on his arm, tracing the outlines of the scar for the port.
"They jammed it between the muscles. That had to have hurt like a mother fraker."
"Yup," he answered again, not wanting to remember the moment. "It didn't actually hurt that bad. Had my mind on other things, like trying to keep us alive. It's the wires that stung. Like bees." He elaborated, knowing that talking about it sometimes made it better. Sometimes not. Fifty fifty, and he mentally flipped the cubit in his mind.
Jake abruptly drew his hand back like he'd been stung. "Sorry," he mumbled, stepping away.
"It's alright," Starbuck said, realizing that despite their close quarters, the two were rarely alone together, seldom touching each other. Maybe he and Crius were wrong about the recognition of personal space. Maybe the Rats had even more respect due to the abuses they suffered. Your stuff was fair game, but not your body.
"Rene's doing the massage I suggested?" Jake asked. "It will help with the nerve damage."
And there it was, he thought, the crossing of the line letting him know that the Rats didn't respect some boundaries. What happened under the covers with Rene was definitely off limits.
"Yeah she is. Thanks for that," he said, taking his own step away to put a little more space between them.
"You should let me have a try at it. It will help with the long flights in the viper. My hands are stronger."
"I need a drink more than a massage, brother," he answered. "Let's go." Starbuck flashed him a combat code for letting a target go as it wasn't a threat.
"It shouldn't still be giving you problems. If you won't let me look at it, you should tell Salik or Paye."
"You slammed me into the floor a few times too many, that's all. Nothing a drink won't cure."
Jake turned back to his locker, and they changed in silence. Once they were both dressed and, in the corridor, headed to the OC with Jolly in the lead, Jake made the offer again.
"If that's what's waking you up at night, I can do something about it. Cassie gave me this great book about acupuncture and pressure points."
"Doesn't that involve needles?" Starbuck appreciated that Jake was a good medic, and he didn't like to see people in pain, but his back wasn't what woke him. "Yeah, that's a no. I think I've had enough needles and probes to last me a lifetime. Besides that's not what's keeping me up."
Jake looked at him, was about to ask, and it dawned on Starbuck that the two of them had something in common, something that connected them deeply. He gripped Jake's arm, slowing his pace, letting Jolly pull ahead of them.
"It's her screams. Watching what they did to her." He shook his head, willing the images away that seemed forever locked in his memory. He chewed his lip before adding, "You would know something about that."
Jake nodded. A shadow crossed his features, his eyes going dark, almost black before he looked away. It was an uncomfortable silence they walked in until they got to the club, a silence that Starbuck knew he should do something about.
