Chapter 3:
You have come upon a clearing in the woods, where the ground begins to get a little soggy and the stink is definitely starting to be noticeable to even non-keen senses. In fact, you would say that the terrain is a little marshy, bordering on miry, with elements of fen and quag. No, that's not quite right. You can't put your finger on it-
"What are ye doin' in my swamp?"
That's it, swamp. The rude interruption of your thesaurus-fueled mental ramblings is supplied by the sudden appearance of a bellowing figure, barging out of a crude hut. Stella immediately has her camera out, unfazed by the appearance of what may be a cryptid or may simply be a smelly hermit.
"Getting footage for my YouTube channel of course. We're on the hunt for Skunk Ape," comes Stella's cheerful reply.
The subject of Stella's videography appears nonplussed by this statement, but he draws himself up to his full height and levels a steely gaze at the interlopers.
"There's no apes here, as ye can see. I'm an ogre. And this is the part where I scare you so you run away"
You:
(powerful build) "I've already chosen violence 53 times during this run, and I'll fight you too"
(talk to animals) [sing until a bird explodes to gain Shrek's respect]
(book smart) "You're actually on public land right now so you can't tell us to leave. #ghostLawyer (it makes sense if you knew what I did on Wednesday)"
(hot) "Shrek is love, Shrek is life"
…
