Chapter 1: Let the Games Begin
Evie's Notes: Hey y'all! I hope that you all enjoy this silly little take on our favorite students 💜.
"Isn't it the most gorgeous hunk of metal you've ever seen?" cooed Amber happily, gazing lovingly upon the bedazzled candlestick.
"It's the devil" grumped Fabian unhappily; pressing his bag of frozen peas harder against his eye, as he scraped silly string off the wall.
"I don't know" mused Jerome smuggly, "I am certainly a fan of how it lights up the room".
"You're only saying that because you weren't knocked off the balcony" grouched Patricia from her spot on the couch, sprained ankle elevated on top of a bunch of pillows.
"It's not my fault you didn't know what duck meant!" argued the resident con-man.
"Oh stop squabbling before I chuck that candlestick holder in the garbage." ordered Joy. "It's your fault that we are even in this mess anyways".
"Our fault?!" squawked the pair indignantly.
"How in the world is this my fault, Joyless?!" demanded Jerome.
"Oh I don't know, let's think about any of the moments from today" suggested Nina. "You two were literally behind everything"
"I wouldn't say everything," hegged the conman.
"Everything" declared Mara.
---Earlier that day--
"Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, the long awaited time is finally here" crowed Jerome happily racing into the dining room.
"What are you going on about now Clarke?" asked Mick.
"So glad that you asked Captain Australia… Today is the day we submit our Anual Superlatives''
"So? I hardly care who wins 'most likely to succed' at this point… I'm just trying to live till graduation" sighed Nina.
"Pish Posh, Nina. The GCSE's aren't that bad" laughed Mara.
"It's hardly the tests I'm worried about Mara" scoffed Nina.
"Moving swiftly onwards…" decreed Jerome. "As you all know I will once again be campaigning for the superlative of 'best instincts'"
"Wait, is this a real thing?" laughed Eddie. "Why haven't we done this before?"
"Trudy banned it after Alfie accidentally destroyed her flower beds while trying to gain the title of Most Likely to Be An Influencer" explained Joy. "Which is why I am shocked she's allowing this again".
"Trudy is no match for my charms" bragged Jerome.
The unimpressed looks his housemates shot him let the posh boy know they didn't believe that for a second.
"Well my charms and a very expensive 'Tea of The Month' subscription" granted Jerome.
"And if you all check your emails riiiiiight now you will find the form to submit your votes for each Anubis house resident" announced Alfie excitedly waving his I-pad. "May the best resident win".
"Jerome, You're the one who dared Eddie into trying to stealing it from you, since you've apparently got better instincts than him" snapped Joy.
"Oh! Is that how all this started?" asked Mick, handing Amber half the sandwich he had just made. "I just saw a chance to beat Clarke with a pool noodle and took it".
"So clearly it was Jerome's fault, not mine." argued Patricia.
"Pep, you will do anything to take your boyfriend down a few pegs... which normally I'm down with but you have to admit that things got a little out of hand" explained Joy as she gestured to the destroyed house.
The walls of the sitting room were coated in silly string, Albert the Alligator had been taken captive sometime during the war, piles of shaving cream coated the hallway floor accompanied by stray confetti pieces. A lone purple roller skate hung from the chandelier and a trio of pigeons cooed in the atrium's rafters.
"Yeah… I think things may have gotten out of hand by the third goat Alfie let in" admitted K.T from the top of the ladder she was using to help Willow remove the clothes from the dining room curtain rods.
"I wouldn't have cared about Jerry's little quip if it hadn't been for Mara stealing my title as Anubis House's best roller skater" defended Eddie.
-Earlier that day-
"Hey Ambs, what are you working on?" inquired Eddie, only to have to suddenly dodge the stiletto she chucked at his head.
"I wouldn't try talking to her if I was you, mate," cautioned Mick from his spot laying on Amber's bed. "Amby gets dangerous when she's focused on a project".
"What project is she working on with a bunch of old candlesticks?" asked Patricia, joining Mick on the bed.
"Jerome and Alfie paid her to create the trophies for their superlative competition" explained the jock before putting his headphones in and blocking Patricia and the two remaining blondes out.
"Huh… Well, We just stopped by to make sure that you both vote for me as the best rollerskater of Anubis house".
"Can't" snapped Amber.
"Why not? I've got a rocking triple spin" argued Eddie.
"Mara's been rollerskating since she was three and actually has roller derby trophies for it. I'm pretty sure it's the only sport she doesn't despise".
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that…. Sorry Eddie, but she's got you beat" agreed Patricia.
"Well fuck. What am I supposed to campaign for instead?" sighed Eddie, bummed his idea was already taken.
"Don't know, don't care. Please get out of my room" sighed Amber, setting one of her homemade trophies to the side.
"Well what's that one for?"
"It's Jerome's 'Best instincts of Anubis House' trophy".
"No way, a squirrel has better instincts than Jerry. Why does he get that award?".
"Okay one, the nickname is a bit much. And Two, Clarke is able to sniff out sus people so well since he reeks of it. It's a classic case of like objects attracting" explained Mick, apparently not as zoned out as he had led the others to believe.
"Not exactly how I would have explained it… but yes with a few noteworthy exceptions, Jerome tends to be rather discerning" added Amber.
"What would I have to do in order to be crowned 'Anubis Resident with the Best Instincts'?" wondered Eddie.
"You won't be, it's already been assigned. Besides your instincts suck, you literally let Jerome get kidnapped without an argument and dated a posessed Patricia for months''
"First of all, Jerry getting kidnapped is so not my fault, Rufus was super convincing! Secondly, Patricia fooled everyone... just for argument's sake though, is there a way I could win the title?"
"I don't know… we've never had two people really compete for a superlative before" hummed Amber thinking. "Everyone just usually picks a new title… I guess if you can convince enough people to give you the trophy, you would win?"
"Hah! There is NO WAY that you would be able to secure that award Weasel" teased Patricia. Pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, Patricia ducked out of the room.
Spured on by his girlfriend's comment, Eddie's eyes lit up as a new plan came to mind. Walking casually closer to Amber's craft table, Eddie forced himself to slowly pick up the bejewled candlestick.
"So you're saying that this piece of metal determines who has the best instincts of Anubis house?"
"Yup. Now I have 6 other awards to finish so please kindly make yourself scarce" demanded Amber.
"Sure, have fun Amber" replied Eddie cooly, before exiting the room at a controlled pace, careful not to let the suspicious buldge in his clothes show.
Closing the door to his own bedroom behind him Eddie let out a sigh of relief. Reaching into his waistband, Eddie drew out the sparkly pink candlestick with a grin… five hours till the award ceremony, game on Jerome.
"Nine, ten, eleven…. Wait, where did Jerome's go?" counted Amber.
"What's that babes?" asked Mick
"Jerome's award is gone. Did you move it?"
"No, I've been over here this whole time".
"So if you didn't move it, and I didn't move it, the only other person who has been in this room since we started is… EDDIE!"
Amber's shrieks of rage and the sudden pounding of feet clued in Eddie that his theft had been detected. Glancing at the clock Eddie congratulated himself on having stayed under the radar for an hour.
🐾 🏠 Anubis Fam 🏠 🐾
Amber: you're a dead man Edison Miller
Eddie: I'm shaking Millington
Patricia: What did you do weasel?
Amber: Your Boyfriend stole one of the awards.
Nina: Which award?
Mick: The 'Best Instincts' one
Jerome: Miller did what?!
Joy: Chill out Love... Ambs can just make you another one
Jerome: But I want that one 😠
Mick: Besides Amby spent all day working on those, it's not fair to make her do another.
Mara: Just give him back the award Eddie
Eddie: No way! If you want it, come and get it…
Amber: Be careful what you wish for…
Jerome: Game on.
Evie's Notes 2: Part 2 Coming Soon!
I love hearing from y'all! Let me know what you think of the chapter and the story so far in the comments or my Tumblr House-of-Secrets! Have a great week and stay safe! - Xo Evie🌺
